\"Youmakemeafraid,\"saidEm。\"Come,letusgo,andIwillfillyourpail。\"
\"Iwantnomilk。Good—bye!YouwillnotseemeagaintillSaturday。\"
Latethatnight,wheneveryoneelsehadgonetobed,theyellow—hairedlittlewomanstoodaloneinthekitchen。Shehadcometofillthekettleforthenextmorning’scoffee,andnowstoodbeforethefire。Thewarmreflectionlitthegraveold—womanishlittleface,thatwassounusuallythoughtfulthisevening。
\"Betterthanalltheworld;betterthaneverything;helovesmebetterthaneverything!\"Shesaidthewordsaloud,asiftheyweremoreeasytobelieveifshespokethemso。Shehadgivenoutsomuchloveinherlittlelife,andhadgotnoneofitbackwithinterest。Nowonesaid,\"Iloveyoubetterthanalltheworld。\"Onelovedherbetterthanshelovedhim。Howsuddenlyrichshewas。Shekeptclaspingandunclaspingherhands。Soabeggarfeelswhofallsasleeponthepavementwetandhungry,andwhowakesinapalace—hallwithservantsandlights,andafeastbeforehim。Ofcoursethebeggar’sisonlyadream,andhewakesfromit;andthiswasreal。
Gregoryhadsaidtoher,\"IwillloveyouaslongasIlive。\"Shesaidthewordsoverandovertoherselflikeasong。
\"Iwillsendforhimtomorrow,andIwilltellhimhowIlovehimback,\"
shesaid。
ButEmneedednottosendforhim。GregorydiscoveredonreachinghomethatJemima’sletterwasstillinhispocket。And,therefore,muchashedislikedtheappearanceofvacillationandweakness,hewasobligedtobeatthefarmhousebeforesunrisetopostit。
\"IfIseeher,\"Gregorysaid,\"Ishallonlybowtoher。SheshallseethatIamaman,onewhokeepshisword。\"
AstoJemima’sletter,hehadturneddownonecornerofthepage,andthenturneditback,leavingadeepcrease。Thatwouldshowthathewasneitheracceptednorrejected,butthatmatterswereinanintermediatecondition。
Itwasamorepoeticalwaythenputtingitinplainwords。
Gregorywasbarelyintimewithhisletter,forWaldowasstartingwhenhereachedthehomestead,andEmwasonthedoorsteptoseehimoff。Whenhehadgiventheletter,andWaldohadgone,Gregorybowedstifflyandpreparedtoremounthisownpony,butsomewhatslowly。Itwasstillearly;
noneoftheservantswereabout。Emcameupclosetohimandputherlittlehandsoftlyonhisarmashestoodbyhishorse。
\"Idoloveyoubestofall,\"shesaid。Shewasnotfrightenednow,howevermuchhekissedher。\"IwishIwasbeautifulandnice,\"sheadded,lookingupintohiseyesasheheldheragainsthisbreast。
\"Mydarling,tomeyouaremorebeautifulthanallthewomenintheworld;
dearertomethaneverythingitholds。IfyouwereinhellIwouldgoafteryoutofindyouthere!Ifyouweredead,thoughmybodymoved,mysoulwouldbeunderthegroundwithyou。AlllifeasIpasswithyouinmyarmswillbeperfecttome。Itwillpass,passlikearayofsunshine。\"
Emthoughthowbeautifulandgrandhisfacewasasshelookedupintoit。
Sheraisedherhandgentlyandputitonhisforehead。
\"Youaresosilent,socold,myEm,\"hecried。\"Haveyounothingtosaytome?\"
Alittleshadeofwonderfilledhereyes。
\"Iwilldoeverythingyoutellme,\"shesaid。
\"Whatelsecouldshesay?Herideaoflovewasonlyservice。
\"Then,myownpreciousone,promisenevertokissthatfellowagain。I
cannotbearthatyoushouldloveanyonebutme。Youmustnot!Iwillnothaveit!IfeveryrelationIhadintheworldweretodietomorrow,I
wouldbequitehappyifIstillonlyhadyou!Mydarling,mylove,whyareyousocold?Promisemenottolovehimanymore。Ifyouaskedmetodoanythingforyou,Iwoulddoit,thoughitcostmylife。\"
Emputherhandverygravelyroundhisneck。
\"Iwillneverkisshim,\"shesaid,\"andIwilltrynottoloveanyoneelse。ButIdonotknowifIwillbeable。\"
\"Oh,mydarling,Ithinkofyouallnight,allday。Ithinkofnothingelse,love,nothingelse,\"hesaid,foldinghisarmsabouther。
Emwasalittleconsciencestricken;eventhatmorningshehadfoundtimetorememberthatinsixmonthshercousinwouldcomebackfromschool,andshehadthoughttoremindWaldoofthelozengesforhiscough,evenwhenshesawGregorycoming。
\"Idonotknowhowitis,\"shesaidhumbly,nestlingtohim,\"butIcannotloveyousomuchasyouloveme。PerhapsitisbecauseIamonlyawoman;
butIdoloveyouasmuchasIcan。\"
NowtheKaffermaidswerecomingfromthehuts。Hekissedheragain,eyesandmouthandhands,andlefther。
TantSanniewaswellsatisfiedwhentoldofthebetrothment。Sheherselfcontemplatedmarriagewithintheyearwithoneorotherofhernumerousvrijers,andshesuggestedthattheweddingsmighttakeplacetogether。
Emsettoworkbusilytoprepareherownhouseholdlinenandweddinggarments。Gregorywaswithherdaily,almosthourly,andthesixmonthswhichelapsedbeforeLyndall’sreturnpassed,ashefelicitouslyphrasedit,\"likeasummernight,whenyouaredreamingofsomeoneyoulove。\"
Lateoneevening,Gregorysatbyhislittlelove,turningthehandleofhermachineasshedrewherworkthroughit,andtheytalkedofthechangestheywouldmakewhentheBoer—womanwasgone,andthefarmbelongedtothemalone。Thereshouldbeanewroomhere,andakraalthere。Sotheychattedon。SuddenlyGregorydroppedthehandle,andimpressedaferventkissonthefathandthatguidedthelinen。
\"Youaresobeautiful,Em,\"saidthelover。\"ItcomesovermeinafloodsuddenlyhowIloveyou。\"
Emsmiled。
\"TantSanniesayswhenIamheragenoonewilllookatme;anditistrue。
Myhandsareasshortandbroadasaduck’sfoot,andmyforeheadissolow,andIhaven’tanynose。Ican’tbepretty。\"
Shelaughedsoftly。Itwassonicetothinkheshouldbesoblind。
\"Whenmycousincomestomorrowyouwillseeabeautifulwoman,Gregory,\"
sheaddedpresently。\"Sheislikealittlequeen:hershouldersaresoupright,andherheadlooksasthoughitoughttohavealittlecrownuponit。Youmustcometoseehertomorrowassoonasshecomes。Iamsureyouwillloveher。\"
\"OfcourseIshallcometoseeher,sincesheisyourcousin;butdoyouthinkIcouldeverthinkanywomanaslovelyasIthinkyou?\"
Hefixedhisseethingeyesuponher。
\"Youcouldnothelpseeingthatsheisprettier,\"saidEm,slippingherrighthandintohis;\"butyouwillneverbeabletolikeanyonesomuchasyoulikeme。\"
Afterward,whenshewishedherlovergoodnight,shestooduponthedoorsteptocallagreetingafterhim;andshewaited,asshealwaysdid,tillthebrownpony’shoofsbecameinaudiblebehindthekopje。
ThenshepassedthroughtheroomwhereTantSannielaysnoring,andthroughthelittleroomthatwasalldrapedinwhite,waitingforhercousin’sreturn,ontoherownroom。
Shewenttothechestofdrawerstoputawaytheworkshehadfinished,andsatdownonthefloorbeforethelowestdrawer。Initwerethethingsshewaspreparingforhermarriage。Pilesofwhitelinen,andsomeapronsandquilts;andinalittleboxinthecornerasprayoforange—blossomwhichshehadboughtfromasmouse。There,too,wasaringGregoryhadgivenher,andaveilhissisterhadsent,andtherewasalittlerolloffineembroideredworkwhichTranahadgivenher。ItwastoofineandgoodevenforGregory’swife——justrightforsomethingverysmallandsoft。Shewouldkeepit。Andshetoucheditgentlywithherforefinger,smiling;andthensheblushedandhiditfarbehindtheotherthings。Sheknewsowellallthatwasinthatdrawer,andyetsheturnedthemalloverasthoughshesawthemforthefirsttime,packedthemallout,andpackedthemallin,withoutonefoldorcrumple;andthensatdownandlookedatthem。
TomorroweveningwhenLyndallcameshewouldbringherhere,andshowitherall。Lyndallwouldsoliketoseeit——thelittlewreath,andthering,andthewhiteveil!Itwouldbesonice!ThenEmfelltoseeingpictures。
Lyndallshouldlivewiththemtillsheherselfgotmarriedsomeday。
EverydaywhenGregorycamehome,tiredfromhiswork,hewouldlookaboutandsay,\"Whereismywife?Hasnooneseenmywife?Wife,somecoffee!\"
andshewouldgivehimsome。
Em’slittlefacegrewverygraveatlast,andshekneltupandextendedherhandsoverthedraweroflinen。
\"Oh,God!\"shesaid,\"Iamsoglad!IdonotknowwhatIhavedonethatI
shouldbesoglad。Thankyou!\"
Chapter2。IV。Lyndall。
Shewasmorelikeaprincess,yes,farmorelikeaprincess,thantheladywhostillhungonthewallinTantSannie’sbedroom。SoEmthought。Sheleanedbackinthelittlearmchair;sheworeagreydressing—gown,andherlonghairwascombedoutandhungtotheground。Em,sittingbeforeher,lookedupwithmingledrespectandadmiration。
Lyndallwastiredafterherlongjourney,andhadcometoherroomearly。
Hereyesranoverthefamiliarobjects。Strangetogoawayforfouryears,andcomeback,andfindthatthecandlestandingonthedressing—tablestillcasttheshadowofanoldcrone’sheadinthecornerbeyondtheclothes—horse。Strangethatevenashadowshouldlastlongerthanaman!
Shelookedaboutamongtheoldfamiliarobjects;allwasthere,buttheoldselfwasgone。
\"Whatareyounoticing?\"askedEm。
\"Nothingandeverything。Ithoughtthewindowswerehigher。IfIwereyou,whenIgetthisplaceIshouldraisethewalls。Thereisnotroomtobreathehere。Onesuffocates。\"
\"Gregoryisgoingtomakemanyalterations,\"saidEm;anddrawingnearertothegreydressing—gownrespectfully。\"Doyoulikehim,Lyndall?Ishenothandsome?\"
\"Hemusthavebeenafinebaby,\"saidLyndall,lookingatthewhitedimitycurtainthathungabovethewindow。
Emwaspuzzled。
\"Therearesomemen,\"saidLyndall,\"whomyounevercanbelievewerebabiesatall;andothersyouneverseewithoutthinkinghowverynicetheymusthavelookedwhentheyworesocksandpinksashes。\"
Emremainedsilent;thenshesaidwithalittledignity,\"WhenyouknowhimyouwilllovehimasIdo。WhenIcompareotherpeoplewithhim,theyseemsoweakandlittle。Ourheartsaresocold,ourlovesaremixedupwithsomanyotherthings。Buthe——nooneisworthyofhislove。Iamnot。Itissogreatandpure。\"
\"Youneednotmakeyourselfunhappyonthatpoint——yourpoorreturnforhislove,mydear,\"saidLyndall。\"Aman’sloveisafireofolive—wood。Itleapshighereverymoment;itroars,itblazes,itshootsoutredflames;
itthreatenstowrapyouroundanddevouryou——youwhostandbylikeanicicleintheglowofitsfiercewarmth。Youareself—reproachedatyourownchillinessandwantofreciprocity。Thenextday,whenyougotowarmyourhandsalittle,youfindafewashes!’Tisalongloveandcoolagainstashortloveandhot;men,atallevents,havenothingtocomplainof。\"
\"Youspeaksobecauseyoudonotknowmen,\"saidEm,instantlyassumingthedignityofsuperiorknowledgesouniversallyaffectedbyaffiancedandmarriedwomenindiscussingman’snaturewiththeiruncontractedsisters。
\"Youwillknowthemtoosomeday,andthenyouwillthinkdifferently,\"
saidEm,withthecondescendingmagnanimitywhichsuperiorknowledgecanalwaysaffordtoshowtoignorance。
Lyndall’slittlelipquiveredinamannerindicativeofintenseamusement。
Shetwirledamassiveringuponherforefinger——aringmoresuitableforthehandofaman,andnoticeableindesign——adiamondcrossletintogold,withtheinitials\"R。R。\"belowit。
\"Ah,Lyndall,\"Emcried,\"perhapsyouareengagedyourself——thatiswhyyousmile。Yes;Iamsureyouare。Lookatthisring!\"
Lyndalldrewthehandquicklyfromher。
\"Iamnotinsogreatahurrytoputmyneckbeneathanyman’sfoot;andI
donotsogreatlyadmirethecryingofbabies,\"shesaid,assheclosedhereyeshalfwearilyandleanedbackinthechair。\"Thereareotherwomengladofsuchwork。\"
Emfeltrebukedandashamed。HowcouldshetakeLyndallandshowherthewhitelinenandthewreath,andtheembroidery?Shewasquietforalittlewhile,andthenbegantotalkaboutTranaandtheoldfarm—servants,tillshesawhercompanionwasweary;thensheroseandleftherforthenight。
ButafterEmwasgoneLyndallsaton,watchingtheoldcrone’sfaceinthecorner,andwithawearylook,asthoughthewholeworld’sweightrestedonthesefrailyoungshoulders。
Thenextmorning,Waldo,startingoffbeforebreakfastwithabagofmealiesslungoverhisshouldertofeedtheostriches,heardalightstepbehindhim。
\"Waitforme;Iamcomingwithyou,\"saidLyndall,addingasshecameuptohim,\"ifIhadnotgonetolookforyouyesterdayyouwouldnothavecometogreetmetillnow。Doyounotlikemeanylonger,Waldo?\"
\"Yes——but——youarechanged。\"
Itwastheoldclumsy,hesitatingmodeofspeech。
\"Youlikethepinaforesbetter?\"shesaidquickly。Sheworeadressofasimplecottonfabric,butveryfashionablymade,andonherheadwasabroadwhitehat。ToWaldosheseemedsuperblyattired。Shesawit。\"Mydresshaschangedalittle,\"shesaid,\"andIalso;butnottoyou。Hangthebagoveryourothershoulder,thatImayseeyourface。Yousaysolittlethatifonedoesnotlookatyouyouareanuncomprehendedcipher。
Waldochangedthebag,andtheywalkedonsidebyside。\"Youhaveimproved,\"shesaid。\"DoyouknowthatIhavesometimeswishedtoseeyouwhileIwasaway;notoften,butstillsometimes。\"
Theywereatthegateofthefirstcampnow。Waldothrewoverabagofmealies,andtheywalkedonoverthedewyground。
\"Haveyoulearntmuch?\"heaskedhersimply,rememberinghowshehadoncesaid,\"WhenIcomebackagainIshallknoweverythingthatahumanbeingcan。\"
Shelaughed。
\"Areyouthinkingofmyoldboast?Yes;Ihavelearntsomething,thoughhardlywhatIexpected,andnotquitesomuch。Inthefirstplace,Ihavelearntthatoneofmyancestorsmusthavebeenaverygreatfool;fortheysaynothingcomesoutinamanbutoneofhisforefatherspossesseditbeforehim。Inthesecondplace,Ihavediscoveredthatofallcursedplacesunderthesun,wherethehungriestsoulcanhardlypickupafewgrainsofknowledge,agirls’boarding—schoolistheworst。Theyarecalledfinishingschools,andthenametellsaccuratelywhattheyare。
Theyfinisheverythingbutimbecilityandweakness,andthattheycultivate。Theyarenicelyadaptedmachinesforexperimentingonthequestion,’Intohowlittlespaceahumansoulcanbecrushed?’Ihaveseensomesoulssocompressedthattheywouldhavefittedintoasmallthimble,andfoundroomtomovethere——wideroom。Awomanwhohasbeenformanyyearsinoneofthoseplacescarriesthemarkofthebeastonhertillshedies,thoughshemayexpandalittleafterward,whenshebreathesinthefreeworld。\"
\"Wereyoumiserable?\"heasked,lookingatherwithquickanxiety。
\"I?——no。Iamnevermiserableandneverhappy。IwishIwere。ButI
shouldhaverunawayfromtheplaceonthefourthday,andhiredmyselftothefirstBoer—womanwhosefarmIcameto,tomakefireunderhersoap—pot,ifIhadtoliveastherestofthedrovedid。Canyouformanidea,Waldo,ofwhatitmustbetobeshutupwithcacklingoldwomen,whoarewithoutknowledgeoflife,withoutloveofthebeautiful,withoutstrength,tohaveyoursoulculturedbythem?Itissuffocationonlytobreathetheairtheybreathe;butImadethemgivemeroom。ItoldthemIshouldleave,andtheyknewIcamethereonmyownaccount;sotheygavemeabedroomwithoutthecompanionshipofoneofthosethingsthatwerehavingtheirbrainsslowlydilutedandsqueezedoutofthem。Ididnotlearnmusic,becauseIhadnotalent;andwhenthedrovemadecushions,andhideousflowersthattheroseslaughat,andafootstoolinsixweeksthatamachinewouldhavemadebetterinfiveminutes,Iwenttomyroom。WiththemoneysavedfromsuchworkIboughtbooksandnewspapers,andatnightIsatup。Iread,andepitomizedwhatIread;andIfoundtimetowritesomeplays,andfindouthowharditistomakeyourthoughtslookanythingbutimbecilefoolswhenyoupaintthemwithinkandpaper。IntheholidaysIlearntagreatdealmore。Imadeacquaintances,sawafewplacesandmanypeople,andsomedifferentwaysofliving,whichismorethananybookscanshowone。Onthewhole,Iamnotdissatisfiedwithmyfouryears。IhavenotlearntwhatIexpected;butIhavelearntsomethingelse。Whathaveyoubeendoing?\"
\"Nothing。\"
\"Thatisnotpossible。Ishallfindoutbyandby。\"
Theystillsteppedonsidebysideoverthedewybushes。Thensuddenlysheturnedonhim。
\"Don’tyouwishyouwereawoman,Waldo?\"
\"No,\"heansweredreadily。
Shelaughed。
\"Ithoughtnot。Evenyouaretooworldly—wiseforthat。Inevermetamanwhodid。Thisisaprettyring,\"shesaid,holdingoutherlittlehand,thatthemorningsunmightmakethediamondssparkle。\"Worthfiftypoundsatleast。Iwillgiveittothefirstmanwhotellsmehewouldliketobeawoman。TheremightbeoneonRobbinIsland(lunaticsattheCapearesenttoRobbinIsland)whowouldwinitperhaps,butIdoubtiteventhere。
Itisdelightfultobeawoman;buteverymanthankstheLorddevoutlythatheisn’tone。\"
Shedrewherhattoonesidetokeepthesunoutofhereyesasshewalked。
Waldolookedathersointentlythathestumbledoverthebushes。Yes,thiswashislittleLyndallwhohadwornthecheckpinafores;hesawitnow,andhewalkedcloserbesideher。Theyreachedthenextcamp。
\"Letuswaitatthiscampandwatchthebirds,\"shesaid,asanostrichhencameboundingtowardthemwithvelvetywingsoutstretched,whilefarawayoverthebushestheheadofthecockwasvisibleashesatbroodingontheeggs。
Lyndallfoldedherarmsonthegatebar,andWaldothrewhisemptybagonthewallandleanedbesideher。
\"Ilikethesebirds,\"shesaid;\"theyshareeachother’swork,andarecompanions。Doyoutakeaninterestinthepositionofwomen,Waldo?\"
\"No。\"
\"Ithoughtnot。Noonedoes,unlesstheyareinneedofasubjectuponwhichtoshowtheirwit。Andasforyou,fromofoldyoucanseenothingthatisnotseparatedfromyoubyafewmillionsofmiles,andstrewedoverwithmystery。IfwomenweretheinhabitantsofJupiter,ofwhomyouhadhappenedtohearsomething,youwouldporeoverusandourconditionnightandday;butbecausewearebeforeyoureyesyouneverlookatus。Youcarenothingthatthisisraggedandugly,\"shesaid,puttingherlittlefingeronhissleeve;\"butyoustrivemightilytomakeanimaginaryleafonanoldstickbeautiful。I’msorryyoudon’tcareforthepositionofwomen;Ishouldhavelikedustobefriends;anditistheonlythingaboutwhichIthinkmuchorfeelmuch——if,indeed,Ihaveanyfeelingaboutanything,\"sheadded,flippantly,readjustingherdaintylittlearms。
\"WhenIwasababy,Ifancymyparentsleftmeoutinthefrostonenight,andIgotnippedinternally——itfeelsso!\"
\"Ihaveonlyafewoldthoughts,\"hesaid,\"andIthinkthemoverandoveragain;alwaysbeginningwhereIleftoff。Inevergetanyfurther。Iamwearyofthem。\"
\"Likeanoldhenthatsitsonitseggsmonthaftermonthandtheynevercomeout?\"shesaidquickly。\"Iamsopressedinuponbynewthingsthat,lesttheyshouldtriponeanotherup,Ihavetokeepforcingthemback。Myheadswingssometimes。Butthisonethoughtstands,nevergoes——ifImightbutbeoneoftheseborninthefuture;then,perhaps,tobebornawomanwillnotbetobebornbranded。\"
Waldolookedather。Itwashardtosaywhethershewereinearnestormocking。
\"Iknowitisfoolish。Wisdomneverkicksattheironwallsitcan’tbringdown,\"shesaid。\"Butwearecursed。Waldo,borncursedfromthetimeourmothersbringusintotheworldtilltheshroudsareputonus。DonotlookatmeasthoughIweretalkingnonsense。Everythinghastwosides——
theoutsidethatisridiculous,andtheinsidethatissolemn。\"
\"Iamnotlaughing,\"saidtheboy,sedatelyenough;\"butwhatcursesyou?\"
Hethoughtshewouldnotreplytohim,shewaitedsolong。
\"Itisnotwhatisdonetous,butwhatismadeofus,\"shesaidatlast,\"thatwrongsus。Nomancanbereallyinjuredbutbywhatmodifieshimself。Weallentertheworldlittleplasticbeings,withsomuchnaturalforce,perhaps,butfortherest——blank;andtheworldtellsuswhatwearetobe,andshapesusbytheendsitsetsbeforeus。Toyouitsays——\"Work;\"andtousitsays——\"Seem!\"Toyouitsays——Asyouapproximatetoman’shighestidealofGod,asyourarmisstrongandyourknowledgegreat,andthepowertolabouriswithyou,soyoushallgainallthathumanheartdesires。Tousitsays——Strengthshallnothelpyou,norknowledge,norlabour。Youshallgainwhatmengain,butbyothermeans。
Andsotheworldmakesmenandwomen。
\"Lookatthislittlechinofmine,Waldo,withthedimpleinit。Itisbutasmallpartofmyperson;butthoughIhadaknowledgeofallthingsunderthesun,andthewisdomtouseit,andthedeeplovingheartofanangel,itwouldnotsteadmethroughlifelikethislittlechin。Icanwinmoneywithit,Icanwinlove;Icanwinpowerwithit,Icanwinfame。Whatwouldknowledgehelpme?Thelessawomanhasinherheadthelightersheisforclimbing。Ionceheardanoldmansay,thatheneversawintellecthelpawomansomuchasaprettyankle;anditwasthetruth。Theybegintoshapeustoourcursedend,\"shesaid,withherlipsdrawnintolookasthoughtheysmiled,\"whenwearetinythingsinshoesandsocks。Wesitwithourlittlefeetdrawnupunderusinthewindow,andlookoutattheboysintheirhappyplay。Wewanttogo。Thenalovinghandislaidonus:’Littleone,youcannotgo,’theysay,’yourlittlefacewillburn,andyournicewhitedressbespoiled。’Wefeelitmustbeforourgood,itissolovinglysaid:butwecannotunderstand;andwekneelstillwithonelittlecheekwistfullypressedagainstthepane。Afterwardswegoandthreadbluebeads,andmakeastringforourneck;andwegoandstandbeforetheglass。Weseethecomplexionwewerenottospoil,andthewhitefrock,andwelookintoourowngreateyes。Thenthecursebeginstoactonus。Itfinishesitsworkwhenwearegrownwomen,whonomorelookoutwistfullyatamorehealthylife;wearecontented。WefitoursphereasaChinesewoman’sfootfitshershoe,exactly,asthoughGodhadmadeboth——andyetheknowsnothingofeither。Insomeofustheshapingofourendhasbeenquitecompleted。Thepartswearenottousehavebeenquiteatrophied,andhaveevendroppedoff;butinothers,andwearenotlesstobepitied,theyhavebeenweakenedandleft。Wewearthebandages,butourlimbshavenotgrowntothem;weknowthatwearecompressed,andchafeagainstthem。
\"Butwhatdoesithelp?Alittlebitterness,alittlelongingwhenweareyoung,alittlefutilesearchingforwork,alittlepassionatestrivingforroomfortheexerciseofourpowers,——andthenwegowiththedrove。A
womanmustmarchwithherregiment。Intheendshemustbetroddendownorgowithit;andifsheiswiseshegoes。
\"Iseeinyourgreateyeswhatyouarethinking,\"shesaid,glancingathim;\"IalwaysknowwhatthepersonIamtalkingtoisthinkingof。HowisthiswomanwhomakessuchafussworseoffthanI?Iwillshowyoubyaverylittleexample。Westandhereatthisgatethismorning,bothpoor,bothyoung,bothfriendless;thereisnotmuchtochoosebetweenus。Letusturnawayjustasweare,tomakeourwayinlife。Thiseveningyouwillcometoafarmer’shouse。Thefarmer,albeityoucomealoneonfoot,willgiveyouapipeoftobaccoandacupofcoffeeandabed。Ifhehasnodamtobuildandnochildtoteach,tomorrowyoucangoonyourway,withafriendlygreetingofthehand。I,ifIcometothesameplacetonight,willhavestrangequestionsaskedme,strangeglancescastonme。
TheBoer—wifewillshakeherheadandgivemefoodtoeatwiththeKaffers,andarighttosleepwiththedogs。Thatwouldbethefirststepinourprogress——averylittleone,buteverysteptotheendwouldrepeatit。Wewereequalsoncewhenwelaynew—bornbabesonournurses’knees。Wewillbeequalsagainwhentheytieupourjawsforthelastsleep!\"
Waldolookedinwonderatthelittlequiveringface;itwasaglimpseintoaworldofpassionandfeelingwhollynewtohim。
\"Markyou,\"shesaid,\"wehavealwaysthisadvantageoveryou——wecanatanytimestepintoeaseandcompetence,whereyoumustlabourpatientlyforit。Alittleweeping,alittlewheedling,alittleself—degradation,alittlecarefuluseofouradvantages,andthensomemanwillsay:\"Come,bemywife!\"Withgoodlooksandyouthmarriageiseasytoattain。Therearemenenough;butawomanwhohassoldherself,evenforaringandanewname,needholdherskirtasidefornocreatureinthestreet。Theybothearntheirbreadinoneway。Marriageforloveisthebeautifulestexternalsymboloftheunionofsouls;marriagewithoutitistheuncleanliesttrafficthatdefilestheworld。\"Sheranherlittlefingersavagelyalongthetopmostbar,shakingoffthedozenlittledewdropsthatstillhungthere。\"Andtheytelluswehavemen’schivalrousattention!\"