第13章
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  \"Youmakemeafraid,\"saidEm。\"Come,letusgo,andIwillfillyourpail。\"

  \"Iwantnomilk。Good—bye!YouwillnotseemeagaintillSaturday。\"

  Latethatnight,wheneveryoneelsehadgonetobed,theyellow—hairedlittlewomanstoodaloneinthekitchen。Shehadcometofillthekettleforthenextmorning’scoffee,andnowstoodbeforethefire。Thewarmreflectionlitthegraveold—womanishlittleface,thatwassounusuallythoughtfulthisevening。

  \"Betterthanalltheworld;betterthaneverything;helovesmebetterthaneverything!\"Shesaidthewordsaloud,asiftheyweremoreeasytobelieveifshespokethemso。Shehadgivenoutsomuchloveinherlittlelife,andhadgotnoneofitbackwithinterest。Nowonesaid,\"Iloveyoubetterthanalltheworld。\"Onelovedherbetterthanshelovedhim。Howsuddenlyrichshewas。Shekeptclaspingandunclaspingherhands。Soabeggarfeelswhofallsasleeponthepavementwetandhungry,andwhowakesinapalace—hallwithservantsandlights,andafeastbeforehim。Ofcoursethebeggar’sisonlyadream,andhewakesfromit;andthiswasreal。

  Gregoryhadsaidtoher,\"IwillloveyouaslongasIlive。\"Shesaidthewordsoverandovertoherselflikeasong。

  \"Iwillsendforhimtomorrow,andIwilltellhimhowIlovehimback,\"

  shesaid。

  ButEmneedednottosendforhim。GregorydiscoveredonreachinghomethatJemima’sletterwasstillinhispocket。And,therefore,muchashedislikedtheappearanceofvacillationandweakness,hewasobligedtobeatthefarmhousebeforesunrisetopostit。

  \"IfIseeher,\"Gregorysaid,\"Ishallonlybowtoher。SheshallseethatIamaman,onewhokeepshisword。\"

  AstoJemima’sletter,hehadturneddownonecornerofthepage,andthenturneditback,leavingadeepcrease。Thatwouldshowthathewasneitheracceptednorrejected,butthatmatterswereinanintermediatecondition。

  Itwasamorepoeticalwaythenputtingitinplainwords。

  Gregorywasbarelyintimewithhisletter,forWaldowasstartingwhenhereachedthehomestead,andEmwasonthedoorsteptoseehimoff。Whenhehadgiventheletter,andWaldohadgone,Gregorybowedstifflyandpreparedtoremounthisownpony,butsomewhatslowly。Itwasstillearly;

  noneoftheservantswereabout。Emcameupclosetohimandputherlittlehandsoftlyonhisarmashestoodbyhishorse。

  \"Idoloveyoubestofall,\"shesaid。Shewasnotfrightenednow,howevermuchhekissedher。\"IwishIwasbeautifulandnice,\"sheadded,lookingupintohiseyesasheheldheragainsthisbreast。

  \"Mydarling,tomeyouaremorebeautifulthanallthewomenintheworld;

  dearertomethaneverythingitholds。IfyouwereinhellIwouldgoafteryoutofindyouthere!Ifyouweredead,thoughmybodymoved,mysoulwouldbeunderthegroundwithyou。AlllifeasIpasswithyouinmyarmswillbeperfecttome。Itwillpass,passlikearayofsunshine。\"

  Emthoughthowbeautifulandgrandhisfacewasasshelookedupintoit。

  Sheraisedherhandgentlyandputitonhisforehead。

  \"Youaresosilent,socold,myEm,\"hecried。\"Haveyounothingtosaytome?\"

  Alittleshadeofwonderfilledhereyes。

  \"Iwilldoeverythingyoutellme,\"shesaid。

  \"Whatelsecouldshesay?Herideaoflovewasonlyservice。

  \"Then,myownpreciousone,promisenevertokissthatfellowagain。I

  cannotbearthatyoushouldloveanyonebutme。Youmustnot!Iwillnothaveit!IfeveryrelationIhadintheworldweretodietomorrow,I

  wouldbequitehappyifIstillonlyhadyou!Mydarling,mylove,whyareyousocold?Promisemenottolovehimanymore。Ifyouaskedmetodoanythingforyou,Iwoulddoit,thoughitcostmylife。\"

  Emputherhandverygravelyroundhisneck。

  \"Iwillneverkisshim,\"shesaid,\"andIwilltrynottoloveanyoneelse。ButIdonotknowifIwillbeable。\"

  \"Oh,mydarling,Ithinkofyouallnight,allday。Ithinkofnothingelse,love,nothingelse,\"hesaid,foldinghisarmsabouther。

  Emwasalittleconsciencestricken;eventhatmorningshehadfoundtimetorememberthatinsixmonthshercousinwouldcomebackfromschool,andshehadthoughttoremindWaldoofthelozengesforhiscough,evenwhenshesawGregorycoming。

  \"Idonotknowhowitis,\"shesaidhumbly,nestlingtohim,\"butIcannotloveyousomuchasyouloveme。PerhapsitisbecauseIamonlyawoman;

  butIdoloveyouasmuchasIcan。\"

  NowtheKaffermaidswerecomingfromthehuts。Hekissedheragain,eyesandmouthandhands,andlefther。

  TantSanniewaswellsatisfiedwhentoldofthebetrothment。Sheherselfcontemplatedmarriagewithintheyearwithoneorotherofhernumerousvrijers,andshesuggestedthattheweddingsmighttakeplacetogether。

  Emsettoworkbusilytoprepareherownhouseholdlinenandweddinggarments。Gregorywaswithherdaily,almosthourly,andthesixmonthswhichelapsedbeforeLyndall’sreturnpassed,ashefelicitouslyphrasedit,\"likeasummernight,whenyouaredreamingofsomeoneyoulove。\"

  Lateoneevening,Gregorysatbyhislittlelove,turningthehandleofhermachineasshedrewherworkthroughit,andtheytalkedofthechangestheywouldmakewhentheBoer—womanwasgone,andthefarmbelongedtothemalone。Thereshouldbeanewroomhere,andakraalthere。Sotheychattedon。SuddenlyGregorydroppedthehandle,andimpressedaferventkissonthefathandthatguidedthelinen。

  \"Youaresobeautiful,Em,\"saidthelover。\"ItcomesovermeinafloodsuddenlyhowIloveyou。\"

  Emsmiled。

  \"TantSanniesayswhenIamheragenoonewilllookatme;anditistrue。

  Myhandsareasshortandbroadasaduck’sfoot,andmyforeheadissolow,andIhaven’tanynose。Ican’tbepretty。\"

  Shelaughedsoftly。Itwassonicetothinkheshouldbesoblind。

  \"Whenmycousincomestomorrowyouwillseeabeautifulwoman,Gregory,\"

  sheaddedpresently。\"Sheislikealittlequeen:hershouldersaresoupright,andherheadlooksasthoughitoughttohavealittlecrownuponit。Youmustcometoseehertomorrowassoonasshecomes。Iamsureyouwillloveher。\"

  \"OfcourseIshallcometoseeher,sincesheisyourcousin;butdoyouthinkIcouldeverthinkanywomanaslovelyasIthinkyou?\"

  Hefixedhisseethingeyesuponher。

  \"Youcouldnothelpseeingthatsheisprettier,\"saidEm,slippingherrighthandintohis;\"butyouwillneverbeabletolikeanyonesomuchasyoulikeme。\"

  Afterward,whenshewishedherlovergoodnight,shestooduponthedoorsteptocallagreetingafterhim;andshewaited,asshealwaysdid,tillthebrownpony’shoofsbecameinaudiblebehindthekopje。

  ThenshepassedthroughtheroomwhereTantSannielaysnoring,andthroughthelittleroomthatwasalldrapedinwhite,waitingforhercousin’sreturn,ontoherownroom。

  Shewenttothechestofdrawerstoputawaytheworkshehadfinished,andsatdownonthefloorbeforethelowestdrawer。Initwerethethingsshewaspreparingforhermarriage。Pilesofwhitelinen,andsomeapronsandquilts;andinalittleboxinthecornerasprayoforange—blossomwhichshehadboughtfromasmouse。There,too,wasaringGregoryhadgivenher,andaveilhissisterhadsent,andtherewasalittlerolloffineembroideredworkwhichTranahadgivenher。ItwastoofineandgoodevenforGregory’swife——justrightforsomethingverysmallandsoft。Shewouldkeepit。Andshetoucheditgentlywithherforefinger,smiling;andthensheblushedandhiditfarbehindtheotherthings。Sheknewsowellallthatwasinthatdrawer,andyetsheturnedthemalloverasthoughshesawthemforthefirsttime,packedthemallout,andpackedthemallin,withoutonefoldorcrumple;andthensatdownandlookedatthem。

  TomorroweveningwhenLyndallcameshewouldbringherhere,andshowitherall。Lyndallwouldsoliketoseeit——thelittlewreath,andthering,andthewhiteveil!Itwouldbesonice!ThenEmfelltoseeingpictures。

  Lyndallshouldlivewiththemtillsheherselfgotmarriedsomeday。

  EverydaywhenGregorycamehome,tiredfromhiswork,hewouldlookaboutandsay,\"Whereismywife?Hasnooneseenmywife?Wife,somecoffee!\"

  andshewouldgivehimsome。

  Em’slittlefacegrewverygraveatlast,andshekneltupandextendedherhandsoverthedraweroflinen。

  \"Oh,God!\"shesaid,\"Iamsoglad!IdonotknowwhatIhavedonethatI

  shouldbesoglad。Thankyou!\"

  Chapter2。IV。Lyndall。

  Shewasmorelikeaprincess,yes,farmorelikeaprincess,thantheladywhostillhungonthewallinTantSannie’sbedroom。SoEmthought。Sheleanedbackinthelittlearmchair;sheworeagreydressing—gown,andherlonghairwascombedoutandhungtotheground。Em,sittingbeforeher,lookedupwithmingledrespectandadmiration。

  Lyndallwastiredafterherlongjourney,andhadcometoherroomearly。

  Hereyesranoverthefamiliarobjects。Strangetogoawayforfouryears,andcomeback,andfindthatthecandlestandingonthedressing—tablestillcasttheshadowofanoldcrone’sheadinthecornerbeyondtheclothes—horse。Strangethatevenashadowshouldlastlongerthanaman!

  Shelookedaboutamongtheoldfamiliarobjects;allwasthere,buttheoldselfwasgone。

  \"Whatareyounoticing?\"askedEm。

  \"Nothingandeverything。Ithoughtthewindowswerehigher。IfIwereyou,whenIgetthisplaceIshouldraisethewalls。Thereisnotroomtobreathehere。Onesuffocates。\"

  \"Gregoryisgoingtomakemanyalterations,\"saidEm;anddrawingnearertothegreydressing—gownrespectfully。\"Doyoulikehim,Lyndall?Ishenothandsome?\"

  \"Hemusthavebeenafinebaby,\"saidLyndall,lookingatthewhitedimitycurtainthathungabovethewindow。

  Emwaspuzzled。

  \"Therearesomemen,\"saidLyndall,\"whomyounevercanbelievewerebabiesatall;andothersyouneverseewithoutthinkinghowverynicetheymusthavelookedwhentheyworesocksandpinksashes。\"

  Emremainedsilent;thenshesaidwithalittledignity,\"WhenyouknowhimyouwilllovehimasIdo。WhenIcompareotherpeoplewithhim,theyseemsoweakandlittle。Ourheartsaresocold,ourlovesaremixedupwithsomanyotherthings。Buthe——nooneisworthyofhislove。Iamnot。Itissogreatandpure。\"

  \"Youneednotmakeyourselfunhappyonthatpoint——yourpoorreturnforhislove,mydear,\"saidLyndall。\"Aman’sloveisafireofolive—wood。Itleapshighereverymoment;itroars,itblazes,itshootsoutredflames;

  itthreatenstowrapyouroundanddevouryou——youwhostandbylikeanicicleintheglowofitsfiercewarmth。Youareself—reproachedatyourownchillinessandwantofreciprocity。Thenextday,whenyougotowarmyourhandsalittle,youfindafewashes!’Tisalongloveandcoolagainstashortloveandhot;men,atallevents,havenothingtocomplainof。\"

  \"Youspeaksobecauseyoudonotknowmen,\"saidEm,instantlyassumingthedignityofsuperiorknowledgesouniversallyaffectedbyaffiancedandmarriedwomenindiscussingman’snaturewiththeiruncontractedsisters。

  \"Youwillknowthemtoosomeday,andthenyouwillthinkdifferently,\"

  saidEm,withthecondescendingmagnanimitywhichsuperiorknowledgecanalwaysaffordtoshowtoignorance。

  Lyndall’slittlelipquiveredinamannerindicativeofintenseamusement。

  Shetwirledamassiveringuponherforefinger——aringmoresuitableforthehandofaman,andnoticeableindesign——adiamondcrossletintogold,withtheinitials\"R。R。\"belowit。

  \"Ah,Lyndall,\"Emcried,\"perhapsyouareengagedyourself——thatiswhyyousmile。Yes;Iamsureyouare。Lookatthisring!\"

  Lyndalldrewthehandquicklyfromher。

  \"Iamnotinsogreatahurrytoputmyneckbeneathanyman’sfoot;andI

  donotsogreatlyadmirethecryingofbabies,\"shesaid,assheclosedhereyeshalfwearilyandleanedbackinthechair。\"Thereareotherwomengladofsuchwork。\"

  Emfeltrebukedandashamed。HowcouldshetakeLyndallandshowherthewhitelinenandthewreath,andtheembroidery?Shewasquietforalittlewhile,andthenbegantotalkaboutTranaandtheoldfarm—servants,tillshesawhercompanionwasweary;thensheroseandleftherforthenight。

  ButafterEmwasgoneLyndallsaton,watchingtheoldcrone’sfaceinthecorner,andwithawearylook,asthoughthewholeworld’sweightrestedonthesefrailyoungshoulders。

  Thenextmorning,Waldo,startingoffbeforebreakfastwithabagofmealiesslungoverhisshouldertofeedtheostriches,heardalightstepbehindhim。

  \"Waitforme;Iamcomingwithyou,\"saidLyndall,addingasshecameuptohim,\"ifIhadnotgonetolookforyouyesterdayyouwouldnothavecometogreetmetillnow。Doyounotlikemeanylonger,Waldo?\"

  \"Yes——but——youarechanged。\"

  Itwastheoldclumsy,hesitatingmodeofspeech。

  \"Youlikethepinaforesbetter?\"shesaidquickly。Sheworeadressofasimplecottonfabric,butveryfashionablymade,andonherheadwasabroadwhitehat。ToWaldosheseemedsuperblyattired。Shesawit。\"Mydresshaschangedalittle,\"shesaid,\"andIalso;butnottoyou。Hangthebagoveryourothershoulder,thatImayseeyourface。Yousaysolittlethatifonedoesnotlookatyouyouareanuncomprehendedcipher。

  Waldochangedthebag,andtheywalkedonsidebyside。\"Youhaveimproved,\"shesaid。\"DoyouknowthatIhavesometimeswishedtoseeyouwhileIwasaway;notoften,butstillsometimes。\"

  Theywereatthegateofthefirstcampnow。Waldothrewoverabagofmealies,andtheywalkedonoverthedewyground。

  \"Haveyoulearntmuch?\"heaskedhersimply,rememberinghowshehadoncesaid,\"WhenIcomebackagainIshallknoweverythingthatahumanbeingcan。\"

  Shelaughed。

  \"Areyouthinkingofmyoldboast?Yes;Ihavelearntsomething,thoughhardlywhatIexpected,andnotquitesomuch。Inthefirstplace,Ihavelearntthatoneofmyancestorsmusthavebeenaverygreatfool;fortheysaynothingcomesoutinamanbutoneofhisforefatherspossesseditbeforehim。Inthesecondplace,Ihavediscoveredthatofallcursedplacesunderthesun,wherethehungriestsoulcanhardlypickupafewgrainsofknowledge,agirls’boarding—schoolistheworst。Theyarecalledfinishingschools,andthenametellsaccuratelywhattheyare。

  Theyfinisheverythingbutimbecilityandweakness,andthattheycultivate。Theyarenicelyadaptedmachinesforexperimentingonthequestion,’Intohowlittlespaceahumansoulcanbecrushed?’Ihaveseensomesoulssocompressedthattheywouldhavefittedintoasmallthimble,andfoundroomtomovethere——wideroom。Awomanwhohasbeenformanyyearsinoneofthoseplacescarriesthemarkofthebeastonhertillshedies,thoughshemayexpandalittleafterward,whenshebreathesinthefreeworld。\"

  \"Wereyoumiserable?\"heasked,lookingatherwithquickanxiety。

  \"I?——no。Iamnevermiserableandneverhappy。IwishIwere。ButI

  shouldhaverunawayfromtheplaceonthefourthday,andhiredmyselftothefirstBoer—womanwhosefarmIcameto,tomakefireunderhersoap—pot,ifIhadtoliveastherestofthedrovedid。Canyouformanidea,Waldo,ofwhatitmustbetobeshutupwithcacklingoldwomen,whoarewithoutknowledgeoflife,withoutloveofthebeautiful,withoutstrength,tohaveyoursoulculturedbythem?Itissuffocationonlytobreathetheairtheybreathe;butImadethemgivemeroom。ItoldthemIshouldleave,andtheyknewIcamethereonmyownaccount;sotheygavemeabedroomwithoutthecompanionshipofoneofthosethingsthatwerehavingtheirbrainsslowlydilutedandsqueezedoutofthem。Ididnotlearnmusic,becauseIhadnotalent;andwhenthedrovemadecushions,andhideousflowersthattheroseslaughat,andafootstoolinsixweeksthatamachinewouldhavemadebetterinfiveminutes,Iwenttomyroom。WiththemoneysavedfromsuchworkIboughtbooksandnewspapers,andatnightIsatup。Iread,andepitomizedwhatIread;andIfoundtimetowritesomeplays,andfindouthowharditistomakeyourthoughtslookanythingbutimbecilefoolswhenyoupaintthemwithinkandpaper。IntheholidaysIlearntagreatdealmore。Imadeacquaintances,sawafewplacesandmanypeople,andsomedifferentwaysofliving,whichismorethananybookscanshowone。Onthewhole,Iamnotdissatisfiedwithmyfouryears。IhavenotlearntwhatIexpected;butIhavelearntsomethingelse。Whathaveyoubeendoing?\"

  \"Nothing。\"

  \"Thatisnotpossible。Ishallfindoutbyandby。\"

  Theystillsteppedonsidebysideoverthedewybushes。Thensuddenlysheturnedonhim。

  \"Don’tyouwishyouwereawoman,Waldo?\"

  \"No,\"heansweredreadily。

  Shelaughed。

  \"Ithoughtnot。Evenyouaretooworldly—wiseforthat。Inevermetamanwhodid。Thisisaprettyring,\"shesaid,holdingoutherlittlehand,thatthemorningsunmightmakethediamondssparkle。\"Worthfiftypoundsatleast。Iwillgiveittothefirstmanwhotellsmehewouldliketobeawoman。TheremightbeoneonRobbinIsland(lunaticsattheCapearesenttoRobbinIsland)whowouldwinitperhaps,butIdoubtiteventhere。

  Itisdelightfultobeawoman;buteverymanthankstheLorddevoutlythatheisn’tone。\"

  Shedrewherhattoonesidetokeepthesunoutofhereyesasshewalked。

  Waldolookedathersointentlythathestumbledoverthebushes。Yes,thiswashislittleLyndallwhohadwornthecheckpinafores;hesawitnow,andhewalkedcloserbesideher。Theyreachedthenextcamp。

  \"Letuswaitatthiscampandwatchthebirds,\"shesaid,asanostrichhencameboundingtowardthemwithvelvetywingsoutstretched,whilefarawayoverthebushestheheadofthecockwasvisibleashesatbroodingontheeggs。

  Lyndallfoldedherarmsonthegatebar,andWaldothrewhisemptybagonthewallandleanedbesideher。

  \"Ilikethesebirds,\"shesaid;\"theyshareeachother’swork,andarecompanions。Doyoutakeaninterestinthepositionofwomen,Waldo?\"

  \"No。\"

  \"Ithoughtnot。Noonedoes,unlesstheyareinneedofasubjectuponwhichtoshowtheirwit。Andasforyou,fromofoldyoucanseenothingthatisnotseparatedfromyoubyafewmillionsofmiles,andstrewedoverwithmystery。IfwomenweretheinhabitantsofJupiter,ofwhomyouhadhappenedtohearsomething,youwouldporeoverusandourconditionnightandday;butbecausewearebeforeyoureyesyouneverlookatus。Youcarenothingthatthisisraggedandugly,\"shesaid,puttingherlittlefingeronhissleeve;\"butyoustrivemightilytomakeanimaginaryleafonanoldstickbeautiful。I’msorryyoudon’tcareforthepositionofwomen;Ishouldhavelikedustobefriends;anditistheonlythingaboutwhichIthinkmuchorfeelmuch——if,indeed,Ihaveanyfeelingaboutanything,\"sheadded,flippantly,readjustingherdaintylittlearms。

  \"WhenIwasababy,Ifancymyparentsleftmeoutinthefrostonenight,andIgotnippedinternally——itfeelsso!\"

  \"Ihaveonlyafewoldthoughts,\"hesaid,\"andIthinkthemoverandoveragain;alwaysbeginningwhereIleftoff。Inevergetanyfurther。Iamwearyofthem。\"

  \"Likeanoldhenthatsitsonitseggsmonthaftermonthandtheynevercomeout?\"shesaidquickly。\"Iamsopressedinuponbynewthingsthat,lesttheyshouldtriponeanotherup,Ihavetokeepforcingthemback。Myheadswingssometimes。Butthisonethoughtstands,nevergoes——ifImightbutbeoneoftheseborninthefuture;then,perhaps,tobebornawomanwillnotbetobebornbranded。\"

  Waldolookedather。Itwashardtosaywhethershewereinearnestormocking。

  \"Iknowitisfoolish。Wisdomneverkicksattheironwallsitcan’tbringdown,\"shesaid。\"Butwearecursed。Waldo,borncursedfromthetimeourmothersbringusintotheworldtilltheshroudsareputonus。DonotlookatmeasthoughIweretalkingnonsense。Everythinghastwosides——

  theoutsidethatisridiculous,andtheinsidethatissolemn。\"

  \"Iamnotlaughing,\"saidtheboy,sedatelyenough;\"butwhatcursesyou?\"

  Hethoughtshewouldnotreplytohim,shewaitedsolong。

  \"Itisnotwhatisdonetous,butwhatismadeofus,\"shesaidatlast,\"thatwrongsus。Nomancanbereallyinjuredbutbywhatmodifieshimself。Weallentertheworldlittleplasticbeings,withsomuchnaturalforce,perhaps,butfortherest——blank;andtheworldtellsuswhatwearetobe,andshapesusbytheendsitsetsbeforeus。Toyouitsays——\"Work;\"andtousitsays——\"Seem!\"Toyouitsays——Asyouapproximatetoman’shighestidealofGod,asyourarmisstrongandyourknowledgegreat,andthepowertolabouriswithyou,soyoushallgainallthathumanheartdesires。Tousitsays——Strengthshallnothelpyou,norknowledge,norlabour。Youshallgainwhatmengain,butbyothermeans。

  Andsotheworldmakesmenandwomen。

  \"Lookatthislittlechinofmine,Waldo,withthedimpleinit。Itisbutasmallpartofmyperson;butthoughIhadaknowledgeofallthingsunderthesun,andthewisdomtouseit,andthedeeplovingheartofanangel,itwouldnotsteadmethroughlifelikethislittlechin。Icanwinmoneywithit,Icanwinlove;Icanwinpowerwithit,Icanwinfame。Whatwouldknowledgehelpme?Thelessawomanhasinherheadthelightersheisforclimbing。Ionceheardanoldmansay,thatheneversawintellecthelpawomansomuchasaprettyankle;anditwasthetruth。Theybegintoshapeustoourcursedend,\"shesaid,withherlipsdrawnintolookasthoughtheysmiled,\"whenwearetinythingsinshoesandsocks。Wesitwithourlittlefeetdrawnupunderusinthewindow,andlookoutattheboysintheirhappyplay。Wewanttogo。Thenalovinghandislaidonus:’Littleone,youcannotgo,’theysay,’yourlittlefacewillburn,andyournicewhitedressbespoiled。’Wefeelitmustbeforourgood,itissolovinglysaid:butwecannotunderstand;andwekneelstillwithonelittlecheekwistfullypressedagainstthepane。Afterwardswegoandthreadbluebeads,andmakeastringforourneck;andwegoandstandbeforetheglass。Weseethecomplexionwewerenottospoil,andthewhitefrock,andwelookintoourowngreateyes。Thenthecursebeginstoactonus。Itfinishesitsworkwhenwearegrownwomen,whonomorelookoutwistfullyatamorehealthylife;wearecontented。WefitoursphereasaChinesewoman’sfootfitshershoe,exactly,asthoughGodhadmadeboth——andyetheknowsnothingofeither。Insomeofustheshapingofourendhasbeenquitecompleted。Thepartswearenottousehavebeenquiteatrophied,andhaveevendroppedoff;butinothers,andwearenotlesstobepitied,theyhavebeenweakenedandleft。Wewearthebandages,butourlimbshavenotgrowntothem;weknowthatwearecompressed,andchafeagainstthem。

  \"Butwhatdoesithelp?Alittlebitterness,alittlelongingwhenweareyoung,alittlefutilesearchingforwork,alittlepassionatestrivingforroomfortheexerciseofourpowers,——andthenwegowiththedrove。A

  womanmustmarchwithherregiment。Intheendshemustbetroddendownorgowithit;andifsheiswiseshegoes。

  \"Iseeinyourgreateyeswhatyouarethinking,\"shesaid,glancingathim;\"IalwaysknowwhatthepersonIamtalkingtoisthinkingof。HowisthiswomanwhomakessuchafussworseoffthanI?Iwillshowyoubyaverylittleexample。Westandhereatthisgatethismorning,bothpoor,bothyoung,bothfriendless;thereisnotmuchtochoosebetweenus。Letusturnawayjustasweare,tomakeourwayinlife。Thiseveningyouwillcometoafarmer’shouse。Thefarmer,albeityoucomealoneonfoot,willgiveyouapipeoftobaccoandacupofcoffeeandabed。Ifhehasnodamtobuildandnochildtoteach,tomorrowyoucangoonyourway,withafriendlygreetingofthehand。I,ifIcometothesameplacetonight,willhavestrangequestionsaskedme,strangeglancescastonme。

  TheBoer—wifewillshakeherheadandgivemefoodtoeatwiththeKaffers,andarighttosleepwiththedogs。Thatwouldbethefirststepinourprogress——averylittleone,buteverysteptotheendwouldrepeatit。Wewereequalsoncewhenwelaynew—bornbabesonournurses’knees。Wewillbeequalsagainwhentheytieupourjawsforthelastsleep!\"

  Waldolookedinwonderatthelittlequiveringface;itwasaglimpseintoaworldofpassionandfeelingwhollynewtohim。

  \"Markyou,\"shesaid,\"wehavealwaysthisadvantageoveryou——wecanatanytimestepintoeaseandcompetence,whereyoumustlabourpatientlyforit。Alittleweeping,alittlewheedling,alittleself—degradation,alittlecarefuluseofouradvantages,andthensomemanwillsay:\"Come,bemywife!\"Withgoodlooksandyouthmarriageiseasytoattain。Therearemenenough;butawomanwhohassoldherself,evenforaringandanewname,needholdherskirtasidefornocreatureinthestreet。Theybothearntheirbreadinoneway。Marriageforloveisthebeautifulestexternalsymboloftheunionofsouls;marriagewithoutitistheuncleanliesttrafficthatdefilestheworld。\"Sheranherlittlefingersavagelyalongthetopmostbar,shakingoffthedozenlittledewdropsthatstillhungthere。\"Andtheytelluswehavemen’schivalrousattention!\"

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