\"’Mysalvationisinwork,ifIshouldstopbutforonemomentyouwouldcreepdownuponme,’hereplied。Andtheyputouttheirlongnecksfurther。
\"’Lookdownintothecreviceatyourfeet,’theysaid。’Seewhatliethere——whitebones!Asbraveandstrongamanasyouclimbedtotheserocks。’Andhelookedup。Hesawtherewasnouseinstriving;hewouldneverholdTruth,neverseeher,neverfindher。Sohelaydownhere,forhewasverytired。Hewenttosleepforever。Heputhimselftosleep。
Sleepisverytranquil。Youarenotlonelywhenyouareasleep,neitherdoyourhandsache,noryourheart。Andthehunterlaughedbetweenhisteeth。
\"’HaveItornfrommyheartallthatwasdearest;haveIwanderedaloneinthelandofnight;haveIresistedtemptation;haveIdweltwherethevoiceofmykindisneverheard,andlabouredalone,toliedownandbefoodforyou,yeharpies?’
\"Helaughedfiercely;andtheEchoesofDespairslunkaway,forthelaughofabrave,strongheartisasadeathblowtothem。
\"Neverthelesstheycreptoutagainandlookedathim。
\"’Doyouknowthatyourhairiswhite?’theysaid,’thatyourhandsbegintotremblelikeachild’s?Doyouseethatthepointofyourshuttleisgone?——itiscrackedalready。Ifyoushouldeverclimbthisstair,’theysaid,’itwillbeyourlast。Youwillneverclimbanother。’
\"Andheanswered,’Iknowit!’andworkedon。
\"Theold,thinhandscutthestonesillandjaggedly,forthefingerswerestiffandbent。Thebeautyandthestrengthofthemanwasgone。
\"Atlast,anold,wizened,shrunkenfacelookedoutabovetherocks。Itsawtheeternalmountainsrisewithwallstothewhiteclouds;butitsworkwasdone。
\"Theoldhunterfoldedhistiredhandsandlaydownbytheprecipicewherehehadworkedawayhislife。Itwasthesleepingtimeatlast。Belowhimoverthevalleysrolledthethickwhitemist。Onceitbroke;andthroughthegapthedyingeyeslookeddownonthetreesandfieldsoftheirchildhood。Fromafarseemedbornetohimthecryofhisownwildbirds,andheheardthenoiseofpeoplesingingastheydanced。Andhethoughtheheardamongthemthevoicesofhisoldcomrades;andhesawfaroffthesunlightshineonhisearlyhome。Andgreattearsgatheredinthehunter’seyes。
\"’Ah!Theywhodietheredonotdiealone,’hecried。
\"Thenthemistsrolledtogetheragain;andheturnedhiseyesaway。
\"’Ihavesought,’hesaid,’forlongyearsIhavelaboured;butIhavenotfoundher。Ihavenotrested,Ihavenotrepined,andIhavenotseenher;
nowmystrengthisgone。WhereIliedownwornoutothermenwillstand,youngandfresh。BythestepsthatIhavecuttheywillclimb;bythestairsthatIhavebuilttheywillmount。Theywillneverknowthenameofthemanwhomadethem。Attheclumsyworktheywilllaugh;whenthestonesrolltheywillcurseme。Buttheywillmount,andonmywork;theywillclimb,andbymystair!Theywillfindher,andthroughme!Andnomanlivethtohimselfandnomandiethtohimself。’
\"Thetearsrolledfrombeneaththeshrivelledeyelids。IfTruthhadappearedabovehiminthecloudsnowhecouldnothaveseenher,themistofdeathwasinhiseyes。
\"’Mysoulhearstheirgladstepcoming,’hesaid;’andtheyshallmount!
theyshallmount!’Heraisedhisshrivelledhandtohiseyes。
\"Thenslowlyfromthewhiteskyabove,throughthestillair,camesomethingfalling,falling,falling。Softlyitfluttereddown,anddroppedontothebreastofthedyingman。Hefeltitwithhishands。Itwasafeather。Hediedholdingit。\"
Theboyhadshadedhiseyeswithhishand。Onthewoodofthecarvinggreatdropsfell。Thestrangermusthavelaughedathim,orremainedsilent。Hedidso。
\"Howdidyouknowit?\"theboywhisperedatlast。\"Itisnotwrittenthere——notonthatwood。Howdidyouknowit?\"
\"Certainly,\"saidthestranger,\"thewholeofthestoryisnotwrittenhere,butitissuggested。Andtheattributeofalltrueart,thehighestandthelowest,isthis——thatitraysmorethanitsays,andtakesyouawayfromitself。Itisalittledoorthatopensintoaninfinitehallwhereyoumayfindwhatyouplease。Men,thinkingtodetract,say:’Peoplereadmoreinthisorthatworkofgeniusthanwaseverwritteninit,’notperceivingthattheypaythehighestcompliment。Ifwepickupthefingerandnailofarealman,wecandecipherawholestory——couldalmostreconstructthecreatureagain,fromheadtofoot。ButhalfthebodyofaMumboo—jumbowidolleavesusutterlyinthedarkastowhattherestwaslike。Weseewhatwesee,butnothingmore。Thereisnothingsouniversallyintelligibleastruth。Ithasathousandmeanings,andsuggestsathousandmore。\"
Heturnedoverthewoodenthing。
\"Thoughamanshouldcarveitintomatterwiththeleastpossiblemanipulativeskill,itwillyetfindinterpreters。Itisthesoulthatlooksoutwithburningeyesthroughthemostgrossfleshlyfilament。
Whosoevershouldportraytrulythelifeanddeathofalittleflower——itsbirth,suckinginofnourishment,reproductionofitskind,witheringandvanishing——wouldhaveshapedasymbolofallexistence。Alltruefactsofnatureorthemindarerelated。Yourlittlecarvingrepresentssomementalfactsastheyreallyare,thereforefiftydifferenttruestoriesmightbereadfromit。Whatyourworkwantsisnottruth,butbeautyofexternalform,theotherhalfofart。\"Heleanedalmostgentlytowardtheboy。
\"Skillmaycomeintime,butyouwillhavetoworkhard。Theloveofbeautyandthedesireforitmustbeborninaman;theskilltoreproduceithemustmake。Hemustworkhard。\"
\"AllmylifeIhavelongedtoseeyou,\"theboysaid。
Thestrangerbrokeofftheendofhiscigar,andlitit。Theboyliftedtheheavywoodfromthestranger’skneeanddrewyetnearerhim。Inthedog—likemannerofhisdrawingneartherewassomethingsuperblyridiculous,unlessonechancedtoviewitinanotherlight。Presentlythestrangersaid,whiffing,\"Dosomethingforme。\"
Theboystartedup。
\"No;staywhereyouare。Idon’twantyoutogoanyowhere;Iwantyoutotalktome。Tellmewhatyouhavebeendoingallyourlife。\"
Theboyslunkdownagain。Wouldthatthemanhadaskedhimtorootupbusheswithhishandsforhishorsetofeedon;ortoruntothefarendoftheplainforthefossilsthatlaythere,ortogathertheflowersthatgrewonthehillsattheedgeoftheplain;hewouldhaverunandbeenbackquickly——butnow!
\"Ihaveneverdoneanything,\"hesaid。
\"Thentellmeofthatnothing。IliketoknowwhatotherfolkshavebeendoingwhosewordIcanbelieve。Itisinteresting。Whatwasthefirstthingyoueverwantedverymuch?\"
Theboywaitedtoremember,thenbeganhesitatingly,butsoonthewordsflowed。Inthesmallestpastwefindaninexhaustibleminewhenoncewebegintodigatit。
Aconfused,disorderedstory——thelittlemadelargeandthelargesmall,andnothingshowingitsinwardmeaning。Itisnottillthepasthasrecededmanystepsthatbeforetheclearesteyesitfallsintoco—ordinatepictures。ItisnottilltheIwetellofhasceasedtoexistthatittakesitsplaceamongotherobjectiverealities,andfindsitstruenicheinthepicture。Thepresentandthenearpastisaconfusion,whosemeaningflashesonusasitslinksawayintothedistance。
Thestrangerlitonecigarfromtheendofanother,andpuffedandlistenedwithhalf—closedeyes。
\"Iwillremembermoretotellyouifyoulike,\"saidtheboy。
Hespokewiththatextremegravitycommontoallveryyoungthingswhofeeldeeply。Itisnottilltwentythatwelearntobeindeadlyearnestandtolaugh。Thestrangernodded,whilethefellowsoughtforsomethingmoretorelate。Hewouldtellalltothismanofhis——allthatheknew,allthathehadfelt,hisinmostsorestthought。Suddenlythestrangerturneduponhim。
\"Boy,\"hesaid,\"youarehappytobehere。\"
Waldolookedathim。Washisdelightfuloneridiculinghim?Here,withthisbrownearthandtheselowhills,whiletherarewonderfulworldlayallbeyond。Fortunatetobehere?
Thestrangerreadhisglance。
\"Yes,\"hesaid;\"herewiththekaroo—bushesandredsand。DoyouwonderwhatImean?Toallwhohavebeenbornintheoldfaiththerecomesatimeofdanger,whentheoldslipsfromus,andwehavenotyetplantedourfeetonthenew。WehearthevoicefromSinaithunderingnomore,andthestillsmallvoiceofreasonisnotyetheard。Wehaveprovedthereligionourmothersfedusontobeadelusion;inourbewildermentweseenorulebywhichtoguideourstepsdaybyday;andyeteverydaywemuststepsomewhere。\"
Thestrangerleanedforwardandspokemorequickly。\"Wehaveneveroncebeentaughtbywordoracttodistinguishbetweenreligionandthemorallawsonwhichithasartfullyfasteneditself,andfromwhichithassuckeditsvitality。Whenwehavedraggeddowntheweedsandcreepersthatcoveredthesolidwallandhavefoundthemtoberottenwood,weimaginethewallitselftoberottenwoodtoo。Wefinditissolidandstandingonlywhenwefallheadlongagainstit。Wehavebeentaughtthatallrightandwrongoriginateinthewillofanirresponsiblebeing。Itissometimebeforeweseehowtheinexorable’Thoushaltandshaltnot,’arecarvedintothenatureofthings。Thisisthetimeofdanger。\"
Hisdark,mistyeyeslookedintotheboy’s。
\"Intheendexperiencewillinevitablyteachusthatthelawsforawiseandnoblelifehaveafoundationinfinitelydeeperthanthefiatofanybeing,Godorman,eveninthegroundworkofhumannature。
\"Shewillteachusthatwhososheddethman’sblood,thoughbymanhisbloodbenotshed,thoughnomanavengeandnohellawait,yeteverydropshallblisteronhissoulandeatinthenameofthedead。Shewillteachthatwhosotakesalovenotlawfullyhisown,gathersaflowerwithapoisononitspetals;thatwhosorevenges,strikeswithaswordthathastwoedges——
oneforhisadversary,oneforhimself;thatwholivestohimselfisdead,thoughthegroundisnotyetonhim;thatwhowrongsanothercloudshisownsun;andthatwhosinsinsecretstandsaccursedandcondemnedbeforetheoneJudgewhodealseternaljustice——hisownall—knowingself。
\"Experiencewillteachusthis,andreasonwillshowuswhyitmustbeso;
butatfirsttheworldswingsbeforeoureyes,andnovoicecriesout,’Thisistheway,walkyeinit!’Youarehappytobehere,boy!Whenthesuspensefillsyouwithpainyoubuildstonewallsanddigearthforrelief。Othershavestoodwhereyoustandtoday,andhavefeltasyoufeel;andanotherreliefhasbeenofferedthem,andtheyhavetakenit。
\"Whenthedayhascomewhentheyhaveseenthepathinwhichtheymightwalk,theyhavenotthestrengthtofollowit。Habitshavefastenedonthemfromwhichnothingbutdeathcanfreethem;whichclingcloserthanhissacerdotalsanctimonytoapriest;whichfeedontheintellectlikeaworm,sappingenergy,hope,creativepower,allthatmakesamanhigherthanabeast——leavingonlythepowertoyearn,toregret,andtosinklowerintheabyss。
\"Boy,\"hesaid,andthelistenerwasnotmoreunsmilingnowthanthespeaker,\"youarehappytobehere!Staywhereyouare。Ifyoueverpray,letitbeonlytheoneoldprayer——’Leadusnotintotemptation。’Liveonherequietly。Thetimemayyetcomewhenyouwillbethatwhichothermenhavehopedtobeandneverwillbenow。\"
Thestrangerrose,shookthedustfromhissleeve,andashamedathisownearnestness,lookedacrossthebushesforhishorse。
\"Weshouldhavebeenonourwayalready,\"hesaid。\"Weshallhavealongrideinthedarktonight。\"
Waldohastenedtofetchtheanimal;buthereturnedleadingitslowly。Thesooneritcamethesoonerwoulditsriderbegone。
Thestrangerwasopeninghissaddlebag,inwhichwereabrightFrenchnovelandanoldbrownvolume。Hetookthelastandhelditouttotheboy。
\"Itmaybeofsomehelptoyou,\"hesaid,carelessly。\"ItwasagospeltomewhenIfirstfellonit。Youmustnotexpecttoomuch;butitmaygiveyouacentreroundwhichtohangyourideas,insteadoflettingthemlieaboutinaconfusionthatmakestheheadache。Weofthisgenerationarenotdestinedtoeatandbesatisfiedasourfatherswere;wemustbecontenttogohungry。\"
Hesmiledhisautomatonsmile,andrebuttonedthebag。Waldothrustthebookintohisbreast,andwhilehesaddledthehorsethestrangermadeinquiriesastothenatureoftheroadandthedistancetothenextfarm。
Whenthebagswerefixed,Waldotookuphiswoodenpostandbegantofastenitontothesaddle,tyingitwiththelittlebluecottonhandkerchieffromhisneck。Thestrangerlookedoninsilence。Whenitwasdonetheboyheldthestirrupforhimtomount。
\"Whatisyourname?\"heinquired,unglovinghisrighthandwhenhewasinthesaddle。
Theboyreplied:
\"Well,Itrustweshallmeetagainsomeday,soonerorlater。\"
Heshookhandswiththeunglovedhand;thendrewontheglove,andtouchedhishorse,androdeslowlyaway。Theboystoodtowatchhim。
Oncewhenthestrangerhadgonehalfacrosstheplainhelookedback。
\"Poordevil,\"hesaid,smilingandstrokinghismoustache。Thenhelookedtoseeifthelittlebluehandkerchiefwerestillsafelyknotted。\"Poordevil!\"
Hesmiled,andthenhesighedwearily,verywearily。
AndWaldowaitedtillthemovingspeckhaddisappearedonthehorizon;thenhestoopedandkissedpassionatelyahoof—markinthesand。Thenhecalledhisyoungbirdstogether,andputhisbookunderhisarm,andwalkedhomealongthestonewall。Therewasararebeautytohiminthesunshinethatevening。
Chapter2。III。GregoryRoseFindsHisAffinity。
Thenewman,GregoryRose,satatthedoorofhisdwelling,hisarmsfolded,hislegscrossed,andaprofoundmelancholyseemingtorestoverhissoul。Hishousewasalittlesquaredaub—and—wattlebuilding,faroutinthekaroo,twomilesfromthehomestead。Itwascoveredoutsidewithasombrecoatingofbrownmud,twolittlepanesbeingletintothewallsforwindows。Behinditwerethesheep—kraals,andtotherightalargedam,nowprincipallycontainingbakedmud。Faroffthelittlekopjeconcealedthehomestead,andwasnotitselfanobjectconspicuousenoughtorelievethedrearymonotonyofthelandscape。
BeforethedoorsatGregoryRoseinhisshirt—sleeves,onacamp—stool,andeverandanonhesigheddeeply。Therewasthatinhiscountenanceforwhichevenhisdepressingcircumstancesfailedtoaccount。Againandagainhelookedatthelittlekopje,atthemilk—pailathisside,andatthebrownpony,whoashortwayoffcroppedthedrybushes——andsighed。
Presentlyheroseandwentintohishouse。Itwasonetinyroom,thewhitewashedwallsprofuselycoveredwithprintscutfromthe\"IllustratedLondonNews\",andinwhichtherewasanoticeablepreponderanceoffemalefacesandfigures。Astretcherfilledoneendofthehut,andarackforagunandalittlehanginglooking—glassdiversifiedthegableopposite,whileinthecentrestoodachairandtable。Allwasscrupulouslyneatandclean,forGregorykeptalittledusterfoldedinthecornerofhistable—
drawer,justashehadseenhismotherdo,andeverymorningbeforehewentouthesaidhisprayers,andmadehisbed,anddustedthetableandthelegsofthechairs,andeventhepicturesonthewallandthegun—rack。
Onthishotafternoonhetookfrombeneathhispillowawatch—bagmadebyhissisterJemima,andtookoutthewatch。Onlyhalfpastfour!Withasuppressedgroanhedroppeditbackandsatdownbesidethetable。Half—
pastfour!Presentlyherousedhimself。HewouldwritetohissisterJemima。Healwayswrotetoherwhenhewasmiserable。Shewashissafety—
valve。Heforgotherwhenhewashappy;butheusedherwhenhewaswretched。
Hetookoutinkandpaper。Therewasafamilycrestandmottoonthelatter,fortheRosessincecomingtothecolonyhaddiscoveredthattheywereofdistinguishedlineage。OldRosehimself,anhonestEnglishfarmer,knewnothingofhisnobledescent;buthiswifeanddaughterknew——
especiallyhisdaughter。TherewereRosesinEnglandwhokeptaparkanddatedfromtheConquest。Sothecolonial\"RoseFarm\"became\"RoseManor\"
inremembranceoftheancestraldomain,andtheclaimoftheRosestonoblebloodwasestablished——intheirownmindsatleast。
Gregorytookuponeofthewhite,crestedsheets;butondeeperreflectionhedeterminedtotakeapinkone,asmoresuitabletothestateofhisfeelings。Hebegan:
\"KopjeAlone,\"Mondayafternoon。
\"MyDearJemima——\"
Thenhelookedupintothelittleglassopposite。Itwasayouthfulfacereflectedthere,withcurlingbrownbeardandhair;butinthedarkblueeyestherewasalookoflanguidlongingthattouchedhim。Here—dippedhispenandwrote:
\"WhenIlookupintothelittleglassthathangsoppositeme,Iwonderifthatchangedandsadface——\"
Herehesatstillandreflected。Itsoundedalmostasifhemightbeconceitedorunmanlytobelookingathisownfaceintheglass。No,thatwouldnotdo。Sohelookedforanotherpinksheetandbeganagain。
\"KopjeAlone,\"Mondayafternoon。
\"DearSister,——ItishardlysixmonthssinceIleftyoutocometothisspot,yetcouldyounowseemeIknowwhatyouwouldsay,Iknowwhatmotherwouldsay——’CanthatbeourGreg——thatthingwiththestrangelookinhiseyes?’
\"Yes,Jemima,itisyourGreg,andthechangehasbeencomingovermeeversinceIcamehere;butitisgreatestsinceyesterday。YouknowwhatsorrowsIhavepassedthrough,Jemima;howunjustlyIwasalwaystreatedatschool,themasterskeepingmebackandcallingmeablockhead,though,astheythemselvesallowed,Ihadthebestmemoryofanyboyintheschool,andcouldrepeatwholebooksfrombeginningtoend。Youknowhowcruellyfatheralwaysusedme,callingmeanoodleandamilksop,justbecausehecouldn’tunderstandmyfinenature。Youknowhowhehasmadeafarmerofmeinsteadofaminister,asIoughttohavebeen;youknowitall,Jemima;
andhowIhaveborneitall,notasawoman,whowhinesforeverytouch,butasamanshould——insilence。
\"Buttherearethings,thereisathing,whichthesoullongstopourforthintoakindredear。
\"Dearsister,haveyoueverknownwhatitistokeepwantingandwantingandwantingtokisssomeone’smouth,andyoumaynot;totouchsomeone’shand,andyoucannot?Iaminlove,Jemima。
\"TheoldDutchwomanfromwhomIhirethisplacehasalittlestepdaughter,andhernamebeginswith’E’。
\"SheisEnglish。IdonotknowhowherfathercametomarryaBoer—woman。
Itmakesmefeelsostrangetoputdownthatletter,thatIcanhardlygoonwriting’E’。I’velovedhereversinceIcamehere。ForweeksIhavenotbeenabletoeatordrink;myverytobaccowhenIsmokehasnotaste;
andIcanremainfornomorethanfiveminutesinoneplace,andsometimesfeelasthoughIwerereallygoingmad。
\"EveryeveningIgotheretofetchmymilk。Yesterdayshegavemesomecoffee。Thespoonfellontheground。Shepickeditup;whenshegaveitmeherfingertouchedmine。Jemima,IdonotknowifIfanciedit——I
shiveredhot,andsheshiveredtoo!Ithought,’Itisallright;shewillbemine;shelovesme!’Justthen,Jemima,incameafellow,agreat,coarsefellow,aGerman——aridiculousfellow,withcurlsrightdowntohisshoulders;itmakesonesicktolookathim。He’sonlyaservantoftheBoer—woman’s,andalow,vulgar,uneducatedthing;that’sneverbeentoboarding—schoolinhislife。Hehadbeentothenextfarmseekingsheep。
Whenhecameinshesaid,’Goodevening,Waldo。Havesomecoffee!’ANDSHE
KISSEDHIM。
\"AlllastnightIheardnothingelsebut’Havesomecoffee;havesomecoffee。’IfIwenttosleepforamomentIdreamedthatherfingerwaspressingmine;butwhenIwokewithastartIheardhersay,’Goodevening,Waldo。Havesomecoffee!’
\"Isthismadness?
\"Ihavenoteatenamouthfultoday。ThiseveningIgoandproposetoher。
IfsherefusesmeIshallgoandkillmyselftomorrow。Thereisadamofwatercloseby。Thesheephavedrunkmostofitup,butthereisstillenoughifItieastonetomyneck。
\"Itisachoicebetweendeathandmadness。Icanendurenomore。Ifthisshouldbethelastletteryouevergetfromme,thinkofmetenderly,andforgiveme。Withouther,lifewouldbeahowlingwilderness,alongtribulation。Sheismyaffinity;theoneloveofmylife,ofmyyouth,ofmymanhood;mysunshine;myGod—givenblossom。
\"’Theyneverlovedwhodreamedthattheylovedonce,Andwhosaith,’Ilovedonce’?——
Notangels,whosedeepeyeslookdownthroughrealmsoflight!’
\"Yourdisconsolatebrother,onwhatis,inallprobability,thelastanddistractednightofhislife。
\"GregoryNazianzenRose。
\"P。S。——Tellmothertotakecareofmypearlstuds。Ilefttheminthewash—hand—standdrawer。Don’tletthechildrengetholdofthem。
\"P。P。S。——Ishalltakethisletterwithmetothefarm。IfIturndownonecorneryoumayknowIhavebeenaccepted;ifnot,youmayknowitisallupwithyourheartbrokenbrother,G。N。R。\"
Gregoryhavingfinishedthisletter,readitoverwithmuchapproval,putitinanenvelope,addressedit,andsatcontemplatingtheinkpot,somewhatrelievedinmind。
Theeveningturnedoutchillyandverywindyaftertheday’sheat。Fromafaroff,asGregorynearedthehomesteadonthebrownpony,hecoulddistinguishalittlefigureinalittleredcloakatthedoorofthecow—
kraal。Emleanedoverthepolesthatbarredthegate,andwatchedthefrothingmilkrunthroughtheblackfingersoftheherdsman,whiletheunwillingcowsstoodwithtetheredheadsbythemilkingpoles。Shehadthrowntheredcloakoverherownhead,andhelditunderherchinwithalittlehand,tokeepfromherearsthewind,thatplayfullyshookit,andtossedthelittlefringeofyellowhairintohereyes。
\"Isitnottoocoldforyoutobestandinghere?\"saidGregory,comingsoftlyclosetoher。
\"Oh,no;itissonice。Ialwayscometowatchthemilking。Thatredcowwiththeshorthornsisbringingupthecalfofthewhitecowthatdied。
Shelovesitso——justasifitwereherown。Itissonicetoseeherlickitslittleears。Justlook!\"
\"Thecloudsareblack。Ithinkitisgoingtoraintonight,\"saidGregory。
\"Yes,\"answeredEm,lookingupaswellasshecouldforthelittleyellowfringe。
\"ButI’msureyoumustbecold,\"saidGregory,andputhishandunderthecloak,andfoundthereasmallfistdoubledup,soft,andverywarm。Hehelditfastinhishand。
\"Oh,Em,Iloveyoubetterthanalltheworldbesides!Tellme,doyoulovemealittle?\"
\"Yes,Ido,\"saidEm,hesitating,andtryingsoftlytofreeherhand。
\"Betterthaneverything;betterthanalltheworld,darling?\"heasked,bendingdownsolowthattheyellowhairwasblownintohiseyes。
\"Idon’tknow,\"saidEm,gravely。\"Idoloveyouverymuch;butIlovemycousinwhoisatschool,andWaldo,verymuch。YouseeIhaveknownthemsolong!\"
\"Oh,Em,donottalktomesocoldly!\"Gregorycried,seizingthelittlearmthatrestedonthegate,andpressingittillshewashalfafraid。Theherdsmanhadmovedawaytotheotherendofthekraalnow,andthecows,busywiththeircalves,tooknonoticeofthelittlehumanfarce。\"Em,ifyoutalksotomeIwillgomad!Youmustloveme,lovemebetterthanall!Youmustgiveyourselftome。IhavelovedyousincethatfirstmomentwhenIsawyouwalkingbythestonewallwiththejuginyourhands。
Youweremadeforme,createdforme!IwillloveyoutillIdie!Oh,Em,donotbesocold,socrueltome!\"
Heheldherarmsotightlythatherfingersrelaxedtheirhold,andthecloakfluttereddownontotheground,andthewindplayedmoreroughlythaneverwiththelittleyellowhead。
\"Idoloveyouverymuch,\"shesaid;\"butIdonotknowifIwanttomarryyou。IloveyoubetterthanWaldo,butIcan’ttellifIloveyoubetterthanLyndall。IfyouwouldletmewaitforaweekIthinkperhapsIcouldtellyou。\"
Gregorypickedupthecloakandwrappeditroundher。
\"IfyoucouldbutlovemeasIloveyou,\"hesaid;\"butnowomancanloveasamancan。IwillwaittillSaturday。Iwillnotoncecomenearyoutillthen。Good—bye!Oh,Em,\"hesaid,turningagain,andtwininghisarmabouther,andkissinghersurprisedlittlemouth,\"ifyouarenotmywifeIcannotlive。Ihaveneverlovedanotherwoman,andInevershall!——
never,never!\"