“Magistratesandlawyers；relationsandfriends；enduranceofinjuries，patience，hope，andhonestwork——Ihadtriedallthese，andtriedthemvainly。LookroundmewhereImight，theprospectwasclosedonallsides。
“Atthistimemyhusbandhadgotalittleworktodo。Hecamehomeoutoftemperonenight，andIgavehimawarning。’Don’ttrymetoofar，Joel，foryourownsake，’wasallIsaid。Itwasoneofhissoberdays；and，forthefirsttime，awordfrommeseemedtohaveaneffectonhim。Helookedhardatmeforaminuteorso。Andthenhewentandsatdowninacorner，andheldhispeace。
“ThiswasonaTuesdayintheweek。OntheSaturdayhegotpaid，andthedrinkingfittookhimagain。
“OnFridayinthenextweekIhappenedtocomebacklate——havinghadagoodstrokeofworktodothatday，inthewayofcookingapublicdinnerforatavern-keeperwhoknewme。Ifoundmyhusbandgone，andthebedroomstrippedofthefurniturewhichIhadputintoit。Forthesecondtimehehadrobbedmeofmyownproperty，andhadturneditintomoneytobespentindrink。
“Ididn’tsayaword。Istoodandlookedroundtheemptyroom。
WhatwasgoingoninmeIhardlyknewmyselfatthetime，andcan’tdescribenow。AllIrememberis，that，afteralittle，I
turnedabouttoleavethehouse。Iknewtheplaceswherethyhusbandwaslikelytobefound；andthedevilpossessedmetogoandfindhim。Thelandladycameoutintothepassageandtriedtostopme。ShewasabiggerandastrongerwomanthanIwas。ButI
shookherofflikeachild。Thinkingoveritnow，Ibelieveshewasinnoconditiontoputoutherstrength。Thesightofmefrightenedher。
“Ifoundhim。Isaid——well，Isaidwhatawomanbesideherselfwithfurywouldbelikelytosay。It’sneedlesstotellhowitended。Heknockedmedown。
“Afterthat，thereisaspotofdarknesslikeinmymemory。ThenextthingIcancalltomind，iscomingbacktomysensesaftersomedays。Threeofmyteethwereknockedout——butthatwasnottheworstofit。Myheadhadstruckagainstsomethinginfalling，andsomepartofmeanerve，Ithinktheysaidwasinjuredinsuchawayastoaffectmyspeech。Idon’tmeanthatIwasdownrightdumb——Ionlymeanthat，allofasudden，ithadbecomealabortometospeak。AlongwordwasasseriousanobstacleasifIwasachildagain。Theytookmetothehospital。Whenthemedicalgentlemenheardwhatitwas，themedicalgentlemencamecrowdingroundme。Iappearedtolayholdoftheirinterest，justasastory-booklaysholdoftheinterestofotherpeople。Theupshotofitwas，thatImightendinbeingdumb，orImightgetmyspeechagain——thechanceswereaboutequal。Onlytwothingswereneedful。OneofthemwasthatIshouldliveongoodnourishingdiet。Theotherwas，thatIshouldkeepmymindeasy。
“Aboutthedietitwasnotpossibletodecide。Mygettinggoodnourishingfoodanddrinkdependedonmygettingmoneytobuythesame。Astomymind，therewasnodifficultyabout_that。_Ifmyhusbandcamebacktome，mymindwasmadeuptokillhim。
“Horrid——Iamwellawarethisishorrid。Nobodyelse，inmyplace，wouldhaveendedaswickedlyasthat。Alltheotherwomenintheworld，triedasIwas，wouldhaverisensuperiortothetrial。
“Ihavesaidthatpeopleexceptingmyhusbandandmyrelations
werealmostalwaysgoodtome。
“Thelandlordofthehousewhichwehadtakenwhenweweremarriedheardofmysadcase。Hegavemeoneofhisemptyhousestolookafter，andalittleweeklyallowancefordoingit。Someofthefurnitureintheupperrooms，notbeingwantedbythelasttenant，waslefttobetakenatavaluationifthenexttenantneededit。Twooftheservants’bedroomsintheattics，onenexttotheother，hadallthatwaswantedinthem。SoIhadarooftocoverme，andachoiceofbedstolieon，andmoneytogetmefood。Allwellagain——butalltoolate。Ifthathousecouldspeak，whattalesthathousewouldhavetotellofme!
“Ihadbeentoldbythedoctorstoexercisemyspeech。Beingallalone，withnobodytospeakto，exceptwhenthelandlorddroppedin，orwhentheservantnextdoorsaid，’Niceday，ain’tit？’or，’Don’tyoufeellonely？’orsuchlike，Iboughtthenewspaper，andreaditoutloudtomyselftoexercisemyspeechinthatway。
OnedayIcameuponabitaboutthewivesofdrunkenhusbands。ItwasareportofsomethingsaidonthatsubjectbyaLondoncoroner，whohadheldinquestsondeadhusbandsinthelowerranksoflife，andwhohadhisreasonsforsuspectingthewives。
Examinationofthebodyhesaiddidn’tproveit；andwitnessesdidn’tproveit；buthethoughtit，nevertheless，quitepossible，insomecases，that，whenthewomancouldbearitnolonger，shesometimestookadamptowel，andwaitedtillthehusbanddruggedwithhisownliquorwassunkinhissleep，andthenputthetoweloverhisnoseandmouth，andendeditthatwaywithoutanybodybeingthewiser。Ilaiddownthenewspaper；andfellintothinking。Mymindwas，bythistime，inapropheticway。Isaidtomyself’Ihaven’thappenedonthisfornothing：thismeansthatIshallseemyhusbandagain。’
“Itwasthenjustaftermydinner-time——twoo’clock。Thatsamenight，atthemomentwhenIhadputoutmycandle，andlaidmedowninbed，Iheardaknockatthestreetdoor。BeforeIhadlitmycandleIsaystomyself，’Hereheis。’
“Ihuddledonafewthings，andstruckalight，andwentdownstairs。Icalledoutthroughthedoor，’Who’sthere？’Andhisvoiceanswered，’Letmein。’
“Isatdownonachairinthepassage，andshookalloverlikeapersonstruckwithpalsy。Notfromthefearofhim——butfrommymindbeinginthepropheticway。IknewIwasgoingtobedriventoitatlast。
TryasImighttokeepfromdoingit，mymindtoldmeIwastodoitnow。Isatshakingonthechairinthepassage；Iononesideofthedoor，andheontheother。
“Heknockedagain，andagain，andagain。Iknewitwasuselesstotry——andyetIresolvedtotry。IdeterminednottolethimintillIwasforcedtoit。Ideterminedtolethimalarmtheneighborhood，andtoseeiftheneighborhoodwouldstepbetweenus。Iwentupstairsandwaitedattheopenstaircasewindowoverthedoor。
“Thepolicemancameup，andtheneighborscameout。Theywereallforgivinghimintocustody。Thepolicemanlaidhandsonhim。Hehadbutonewordtosay；hehadonlytopointuptomeatthewindow，andtotellthemIwashiswife。Theneighborswentindoorsagain。Thepolicemandroppedholdofhisarm。ItwasI
whowasinthewrong，andnothe。Iwasboundtoletmyhusbandin。Iwentdownstairsagain，andlethimin。
“Nothingpassedbetweenusthatnight。Ithrewopenthedoorofthebedroomnexttomine，andwentandlockedmyselfintomyownroom。Hewasdeadbeatwithroamingthestreets，withoutapennyinhispocket，alldaylong。Thebedtolieonwasallhewantedforthatnight。
“ThenextmorningItriedagain——triedtoturnbackonthewaythatIwasdoomedtogo；knowingbeforehandthatitwouldbeofnouse。Iofferedhimthreepartsofmypoorweeklyearnings，tobepaidtohimregularlyatthelandlord’soffice，ifhewouldonlykeepawayfromme，andfromthehouse。Helaughedinmyface。Asmyhusband，hecouldtakeallmyearningsifhechose。
Andasforleavingthehouse，thehouseofferedhimfreequarterstoliveinaslongasIwasemployedtolookafterit。Thelandlordcouldn’tpartmanandwife。
“Isaidnomore。Laterinthedaythelandlordcame。Hesaidifwecouldmakeitouttolivetogetherpeaceablyhehadneithertherightnorthewishtointerfere。Ifwemadeanydisturbances，thenheshouldbeobligedtoprovidehimselfwithsomeotherwomantolookafterthehouse。Ihadnowhereelsetogo，andnootheremploymenttoundertake。If，inspiteofthat，Ihadputonmybonnetandwalkedout，myhusbandwouldhavewalkedoutafterme。Andalldecentpeoplewouldhavepattedhimontheback，andsaid，’Quiteright，goodman——quiteright。’
“Sotherehewasbyhisownact，andwiththeapprovalofothers，inthesamehousewithme。
“Imadenoremarktohimortothelandlord。Nothingrousedmenow。Iknewwhatwascoming；Iwaitedfortheend。Therewassomechangevisibleinmetoothers，asIsuppose，thoughnotnoticeablebymyself，whichfirstsurprisedmyhusbandandthendauntedhim。WhenthenextnightcameIheardhimlockthedoorsoftlyinhisownroom。Itdidn’tmattertome。Whenthetimewasripetenthousandlockswouldn’tlockoutwhatwastocome。
“Thenextday，bringingmyweeklypayment，broughtmeastepneareronthewaytotheend。Gettingthemoney，hecouldgetthedrink。Thistimehebegancunningly——inotherwords，hebeganhisdrinkingbyslowdegrees。Thelandlordbent，honestman，ontryingtokeepthepeacebetweenushadgivenhimsomeoddjobstodo，inthewayofsmallrepairs，hereandthereaboutthehouse。’Youowethis，’hesays，’tomydesiretodoagoodturntoyourpoorwife。Iamhelpingyouforhersake。Showyourselfworthytobehelped，ifyoucan。’
“Hesaid，asusual，thathewasgoingtoturnoveranewleaf。
Toolate!Thetimehadgoneby。Hewasdoomed，andIwasdoomed。
Itdidn’tmatterwhathesaidnow。Itdidn’tmatterwhenhelockedhisdooragainthelastthingatnight。
“ThenextdaywasSunday。Nothinghappened。Iwenttochapel。
Merehabit。Itdidmenogood。Hegotonalittlewiththedrinking——butstillcunningly，byslowdegrees。Iknewbyexperiencethatthismeantalongfit，andabadone，tocome。