第132章
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  “Monday,thereweretheoddjobsaboutthehousetobebegun。Hewasbythistimejustsoberenoughtodohiswork,andjusttipsyenoughtotakeaspitefulpleasureinpersecutinghiswife。Hewentoutandgotthethingshewanted,andcamebackandcalledforme。Askilledworkmanlikehewashesaidwantedajourneymanunderhim。Therewerethingswhichitwasbeneathaskilledworkmantodoforhimself。Hewasnotgoingtocallinamanoraboy,andthenhavetopaythem。Hewasgoingtogetitdonefornothing,andhemeanttomakeajourneymanof_me。_Halftipsyandhalfsober,hewentontalkinglikethat,andlayingouthisthings,allquiteright,ashewantedthem。Whentheywerereadyhestraightenedhimselfup,andhegavemehisorderswhatIwastodo。

  “Iobeyedhimtothebestofmyability。Whateverhesaid,andwhateverhedid,Iknewhewasgoingasstraightasmancouldgotohisowndeathbymyhands。

  “Theratsandmicewerealloverthehouse,andtheplacegenerallywasoutofrepair。Heoughttohavebegunonthekitchen-floor;buthavingsentencepronouncedagainsthimhebeganintheemptyparlorsontheground-floor。

  “Theseparlorswereseparatedbywhatiscalleda’lath-and-plasterwall。’Theratshaddamagedit。Atoneparttheyhadgnawedthroughandspoiledthepaper,atanotherparttheyhadnotgotsofar。Thelandlord’sordersweretosparethepaper,becausehehadsomebyhimtomatchit。Myhusbandbeganataplacewherethepaperwaswhole。UnderhisdirectionsI

  mixedup——Iwon’tsaywhat。Withthehelpofithegotthepaperloosefromthewall,withoutinjuringitinanyway,inalonghangingstrip。Underitwastheplasterandthelaths,gnawedawayinplacesbytherats。Thoughstrictlyapaperhangerbytrade,hecouldbeplasterertoowhenheliked。Isawhowhecutawaytherottenlathsandrippedofftheplaster;andunderhisdirectionsagainImixedupthenewplasterhewanted,andhandedhimthenewlaths,andsawhowhesetthem。Iwon’tsayawordabouthowthiswasdoneeither。

  “Ihaveareasonforkeepingsilencehere,whichis,tomymind,averydreadfulone。Ineverythingthatmyhusbandmademedothatdayhewasshowingmeblindfoldthewaytokillhim,sothatnolivingsoul,inthepoliceoroutofit,couldsuspectmeofthedeed。

  “Wefinishedthejobonthewalljustbeforedark。Iwenttomycupoftea,andhewenttohisbottleofgin。

  “Ilefthim,drinkinghard,toputourtwobedroomstidyforthenight。TheplacethathisbedhappenedtobesetinwhichIhadneverremarkedparticularlybeforeseemed,inamannerofspeaking,toforceitselfonmynoticenow。

  “Theheadofthebedsteadwassetagainstthewallwhichdividedhisroomfrommine。FromlookingatthebedsteadIgottolookingatthewallnext。Thentowonderingwhatitwasmadeof。Thentorappingagainstitwithmyknuckles。Thesoundtoldmetherewasnothingbutlathandplasterunderthepaper。Itwasthesameasthewallwehadbeenatworkondownstairs。Wehadclearedourwaysofarthroughthislast——incertainplaceswheretherepairsweremostneeded——thatwehadtobecarefulnottoburstthroughthepaperintheroomontheotherside。Ifoundmyselfcallingtomindthecautionmyhusbandhadgivenmewhilewewereatthispartofthework,wordforwordashehadspokenit。_’Takecareyoudon’tfindyourhandsinthenextroom。’_Thatwaswhathehadsaiddownintheparlor。UpinhisbedroomIkeptonrepeatingitinmyownmind——withmyeyesallthewhileonthekey,whichhehadmovedtotheinnersideofthedoortolockhimselfin——tilltheknowledgeofwhatitmeantburstonmelikeaflashoflight。Ilookedatthewall,atthebedhead,atmyowntwohands——andIshiveredasifitwaswintertime。

  “HoursmusthavepassedlikeminuteswhileIwasupstairsthatnight。Ilostallcountoftime。Whenmyhusbandcameupfromhisdrinking,hefoundmeinhisroom。

  “Ileavetherestuntold,andpassonpurposelytothenextmorning。

  “Nomortaleyesbutminewilleverseetheselines。Still,therearethingsawomancan’twriteofeventoherself。Ishallonlysaythis。Isufferedthelastandworstofmanyindignitiesatmyhusband’shands——attheverytimewhenIfirstsaw,setplainlybeforeme,thewaytotakehislife。Hewentouttowardnoonnextday,togohisroundsamongthepublichouses;mymindbeingthenstrunguptodelivermyselffromhim,forgoodandall,whenhecamebackatnight。

  “Thethingswehadusedonthepreviousdaywereleftintheparlor。Iwasallbymyselfinthehouse,freetoputinpracticethelessonhehadtaughtme。Iprovedmyselfanaptscholar。

  BeforethelampswerelitinthestreetIhadmyownwaypreparedinmybedroomandinhisforlayingmyownhandsonhim——afterhehadlockedhimselfupforthenight。

  “Idon’trememberfeelingeitherfearordoubtthroughallthosehours。Isatdowntomybitofsupperwithnobetterandnoworseanappetitethanusual。TheonlychangeinmethatIcancalltomindwasthatIfeltasingularlongingtohavesomebodywithmetokeepmecompany。Havingnofriendtoaskin,Iwenttothestreetdoorandstoodlookingatthepeoplepassingthiswayandthat。

  “Astraydog,sniffingabout,cameuptome。GenerallyIdislikedogsandbeastsofallkinds。Icalledthisoneinandgavehimhissupper。HehadbeentaughtIsupposetosituponhishind-legsandbegforfood;atanyrate,thatwashiswayofaskingmeformore。Ilaughed——itseemsimpossiblewhenIlookbackatitnow,butforallthatit’strue——Ilaughedtillthetearsrandownmycheeks,atthelittlebeastonhishaunches,withhisearsprickedupandhisheadononesideandhismouthwateringforthevictuals。IwonderwhetherIwasinmyrightsenses?Idon’tknow。

  “Whenthedoghadgotallhecouldgethewhinedtobeletouttoroamthestreetsagain。

  “AsIopenedthedoortoletthecreaturegohisways,Isawmyhusbandcrossingtheroadtocomein。’Keepout’Isaystohim;

  ’to-night,ofallnights,keepout。’Hewastoodrunktoheedme;

  hepassedby,andblunderedhiswayupstairs。Ifollowedandlistened。Iheardhimopenhisdoor,andbangitto,andlockit。

  Iwaitedabit,andwentupanotherstairortwo。Iheardhimdropdownontohisbed。Inaminutemorehewasfastasleepandsnoring。

  “Ithadallhappenedasitwaswantedtohappen。Intwominutes——withoutdoingonesinglethingtobringsuspiciononmyself——Icouldhavesmotheredhim。Iwentintomyownroom。I

  tookupthetowelthatIhadlaidready。Iwaswithinaninchofit——whentherecamearushofsomethingupintomyhead。Ican’tsaywhatitwas。Icanonlysaythehorrorslaidholdofmeandhuntedmethenandthereoutofthehouse。

  “Iputonmybonnet,andslippedthekeyofthestreetdoorintomypocket。Itwasonlyhalfpastnine——ormaybeaquartertoten。

  IfIhadanyoneclearnotioninmyhead,itwasthenotionofrunningaway,andneverallowingmyselftoseteyesonthehouseorthehusbandmore。

  “Iwentupthestreet——andcameback。Iwentdownthestreet——andcameback。Itrieditathirdtime,andwentroundandroundandround——andcameback。ItwasnottobedoneThehouseheldmechainedtoitlikeadogtohiskennel。Icouldn’tkeepawayfromit。Forthelifeofme,Icouldn’tkeepawayfromit。

  “Acompanyofgayyoungmenandwomenpassedme,justasIwasgoingtoletmyselfinagain。Theywereinagreathurry。’Stepout,’saysoneofthemen;’thetheatre’scloseby,andweshallbejustintimeforthefarce。’Iturnedaboutandfollowedthem。

  Havingbeenpiouslybroughtup,Ihadneverbeeninsideatheatreinmylife。ItstruckmethatImightgettaken,asitwere,outofmyself,ifIsawsomethingthatwasquitestrangetome,andheardsomethingwhichwouldputnewthoughtsintomymind。

  “Theywentintothepit;andIwentinafterthem。

  “Thethingtheycalledthefarcehadbegun。Menandwomencameontothestage,turnandturnabout,andtalked,andwentoffagain。Beforelongallthepeopleaboutmeinthepitwerelaughingandclappingtheirhands。Thenoisetheymadeangeredme。Idon’tknowhowtodescribethestateIwasin。Myeyeswouldn’tserveme,andmyearswouldn’tserveme,toseeandtohearwhattherestofthemwereseeingandhearing。Theremusthavebeensomething,Ifancy,inmymindthatgotitselfbetweenmeandwhatwasgoingonuponthestage。Theplaylookedfairenoughonthesurface;buttherewasdangeranddeathatthebottomofit。Theplayersweretalkingandlaughingtodeceivethepeople——withmurderintheirmindsallthetime。Andnobodyknewitbutme——andmytonguewastiedwhenItriedtotelltheothers。Igotup,andranout。ThemomentIwasinthestreetmystepsturnedbackofthemselvesonthewaytothehouse。Icalledacab,andtoldthemantodriveasfarasashillingwouldtakemetheoppositeway。Heputmedown——Idon’tknowwhere。AcrossthestreetIsawaninscriptioninlettersofflameoveranopendoor。Themansaiditwasadancing-place。Dancingwasasnewtomeasplay-going。Ihadonemoreshillingleft;andIpaidtogoin,andseewhatasightofthedancingwoulddoforme。Thelightfromtheceilingpoureddowninthisplaceasifitwasallonfire。Thecrashingofthemusicwasdreadful。Thewhirlingroundandroundofmenandwomenineachother’sarmswasquitemaddeningtosee。Idon’tknowwhathappenedtomehere。Thegreatblazeoflightfromtheceilingturnedblood-redonasudden。ThemanstandinginfrontofthemusicianswavingasticktookthelikenessofSatan,asseeninthepictureinourfamilyBibleathome。Thewhirlingmenandwomenwentroundandround,withwhitefaceslikethefacesofthedead,andbodiesrobedinwinding-sheets。Iscreamedoutwiththeterrorofit;andsomepersontookmebythearmandputmeoutsidethedoor。Thedarknessdidmegood:itwascomfortinganddelicious——likeacoolhandlaidonahothead。Iwentwalkingonthroughit,withoutknowingwhere;composingmymindwiththebeliefthatI

  hadlostmyway,andthatIshouldfindmyselfmilesdistantfromhomewhenmorningdawned。AftersometimeIgottoowearytogoon;andIsatmedowntorestonadoor-step。Idozedabit,andwokeup。WhenIgotonmyfeettogoonagain,Ihappenedtoturnmyheadtowardthedoorofthehouse。Thenumberonitwasthesamenumberanasours。Ilookedagain。Andbehold,itwasourstepsIhadbeenrestingon。Thedoorwasourdoor。

  “AllmydoubtsandallmystrugglesdroppedoutofmymindwhenI

  madethatdiscovery。Therewasnomistakingwhatthisperpetualcomingbacktothehousemeant。ResistitasImight,itwastobe。

  “Iopenedthestreetdoorandwentupstairs,andheardhimsleepinghisheavysleep,exactlyasIhadheardhimwhenIwentout。Isatdownonmybedandtookoffmybonnet,quitequietinmyself,becauseIknewitwastobe。Idampedthetowel,andputitready,andtookaturnintheroom。

  “Itwasjustthedawnofday。Thesparrowswerechirpingamongthetreesinthesquarehardby。

  “Idrewupmyblind;thefaintlightspoketomeasifinwords,’Doitnow,beforeIgetbrighter,andshowtoomuch。’

  “Ilistened。Thefriendlysilencehadawordformetoo:’Doitnow,andtrustthesecrettoMe。’

  “Iwaitedtillthechurchclockchimedbeforestrikingthehour。

  Atthefirststroke——withouttouchingthelockofhisdoor,withoutsettingfootinhisroom——Ihadthetoweloverhisface。

  Beforethelaststrokehehadceasedstruggling。Whenthehumofthebellthroughthemorningsilencewasstillanddead,_he_wasstillanddeadwithit。

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