\"Itookthepoormanbythearm，andledhimtothetavernwherewekeptourrendezvous，asithappenedtobethenearestathand。A
surgeonhappeningluckilytobeinthehouse，immediatelyattended，andappliedhimselftodressinghiswounds，whichIhadthepleasuretohearwerenotlikelytobemortal。
\"Thesurgeonhavingveryexpeditiouslyanddextrouslyfinishedhisbusiness，begantoenquireinwhatpartofthetownthewoundedmanlodged；whoanswered，’Thathewascometotownthatverymorning；
thathishorsewasataninninPiccadilly，andthathehadnootherlodging，andverylittleornoacquaintanceintown。’
\"Thissurgeon，whosenameIhaveforgot，thoughIrememberitbeganwithanR，hadthefirstcharacterinhisprofession，andwasserjeant-surgeontotheking。Hehadmoreovermanygoodqualities，andwasaverygenerousgood-naturedman，andreadytodoanyservicetohisfellow-creatures。Heofferedhispatienttheuseofhischariottocarryhimtohisinn，andatthesametimewhisperedinhisear，’Thatifhewantedanymoney，hewouldfurnishhim。’
\"Thepoormanwasnotnowcapableofreturningthanksforthisgenerousoffer；forhavinghadhiseyesforsometimestedfastlyonme，hethrewhimselfbackinhischair，crying，’Oh，myson！myson！’andthenfaintedaway。
\"Manyofthepeoplepresentimaginedthisaccidenthadhappenedthroughhislossofblood；butI，whoatthesametimebegantorecollectthefeaturesofmyfather，wasnowconfirmedinmysuspicion，andsatisfiedthatitwashehimselfwhoappearedbeforeme。Ipresentlyrantohim，raisedhiminmyarms，andkissedhiscoldlipswiththeutmosteagerness。HereImustdrawacurtainoverascenewhichIcannotdescribe；forthoughIdidnotlosemybeing，asmyfatherforawhiledid，mysenseswerehoweversooverpoweredwithaffrightandsurprize，thatIamastrangertowhatpassedduringsomeminutes，andindeedtillmyfatherhadagainrecoveredfromhisswoon，andIfoundmyselfinhisarms，bothtenderlyembracingeachother，whilethetearstrickleda-pacedownthecheeksofeachofus。
\"Mostofthosepresentseemedaffectedbythisscene，whichwe，whomightbeconsideredastheactorsinit，weredesirousofremovingfromtheeyesofallspectatorsasfastaswecould；myfatherthereforeacceptedthekindofferofthesurgeon’schariot，andI
attendedhiminittohisinn。
\"Whenwewerealonetogether，hegentlyupbraidedmewithhavingneglectedtowritetohimduringsolongatime，butentirelyomittedthementionofthatcrimewhichhadoccasionedit。Hetheninformedmeofmymother’sdeath，andinsistedonmyreturninghomewithhim，saying，’Thathehadlongsufferedthegreatestanxietyonmyaccount；thatheknewnotwhetherhehadmostfearedmydeathorwishedit，sincehehadsomanymoredreadfulapprehensionsforme。Atlast，hesaid，aneighbouringgentleman，whohadjustrecoveredasonfromthesameplace，informedhimwhereIwas；andthattoreclaimmefromthiscourseoflifewasthesolecauseofhisjourneytoLondon。’HethankedHeavenhehadsucceededsofarastofindmeoutbymeansofanaccidentwhichhadliketohaveprovedfataltohim；
andhadthepleasuretothinkhepartlyowedhispreservationtomyhumanity，withwhichheprofesthimselftobemoredelightedthanheshouldhavebeenwithmyfilialpiety，ifIhadknownthattheobjectofallmycarewasmyownfather。
\"Vicehadnotsodepravedmyheartastoexciteinitaninsensibilityofsomuchpaternalaffection，thoughsounworthilybestowed。Ipresentlypromisedtoobeyhiscommandsinmyreturnhomewithhim，assoonashewasabletotravel，whichindeedhewasinaveryfewdays，bytheassistanceofthatexcellentsurgeonwhohadundertakenhiscure。
\"Thedayprecedingmyfather’sjourneybeforewhichtimeIscarceeverlefthim，Iwenttotakemyleaveofsomeofmymostintimateacquaintance，particularlyofMr。Watson，whodissuadedmefromburyingmyself，ashecalledit，outofasimplecompliancewiththefonddesiresofafoolisholdfellow。Suchsollicitations，however，hadnoeffect，andIoncemoresawmyownhome。Myfathernowgreatlysollicitedmetothinkofmarriage；butmyinclinationswereutterlyaversetoanysuchthoughts。Ihadtastedoflovealready，andperhapsyouknowtheextravagantexcessesofthatmosttenderandmostviolentpassion。\"——Heretheoldgentlemanpaused，andlookedearnestlyatJones；whosecountenance，withinaminute’sspace，displayedtheextremitiesofbothredandwhite。Uponwhichtheoldman，withoutmakinganyobservations，renewedhisnarrative。
\"Beingnowprovidedwithallthenecessariesoflife，Ibetookmyselfonceagaintostudy，andthatwithamoreinordinateapplicationthanIhadeverdoneformerly。Thebookswhichnowemployedmytimesolelywerethose，aswellantientasmodern，whichtreatoftruephilosophy，awordwhichisbymanythoughttobethesubjectonlyoffarceandridicule。InowreadovertheworksofAristotleandPlato，withtherestofthoseinestimabletreasureswhichantientGreecehadbequeathedtotheworld。
\"Theseauthors，thoughtheyinstructedmeinnosciencebywhichmenmaypromisetothemselvestoacquiretheleastrichesorworldlypower，taughtme，however，theartofdespisingthehighestacquisitionsofboth。Theyelevatethemind，andsteelandhardenitagainstthecapriciousinvasionsoffortune。TheynotonlyinstructintheknowledgeofWisdom，butconfirmmeninherhabits，anddemonstrateplainly，thatthismustbeourguide，ifweproposeevertoarriveatthegreatestworldlyhappiness，ortodefendourselves，withanytolerablesecurity，againstthemiserywhicheverywheresurroundsandinvestsus。
\"TothisIaddedanotherstudy，comparedtowhich，allthephilosophytaughtbythewisestheathensislittlebetterthanadream，andisindeedasfullofvanityasthesilliestjestereverpleasedtorepresentit。ThisisthatDivinewisdomwhichisalonetobefoundintheHolyScriptures；fortheyimparttoustheknowledgeandassuranceofthingsmuchmoreworthyourattentionthanallwhichthisworldcanoffertoouracceptance；ofthingswhichHeavenitselfhathcondescendedtorevealtous，andtothesmallestknowledgeofwhichthehighesthumanwitunassistedcouldneverascend。IbegannowtothinkallthetimeIhadspentwiththebestheathenwriterswaslittlemorethanlabourlost:for，howeverpleasantanddelightfultheirlessonsmaybe，orhoweveradequatetotherightregulationofourconductwithrespecttothisworldonly；
yet，whencomparedwiththegloryrevealedinScripture，theirhighestdocumentswillappearastrifling，andofaslittleconsequence，astherulesbywhichchildrenregulatetheirchildishlittlegamesandpastime。Trueitis，thatphilosophymakesuswiser，butChristianitymakesusbettermen。Philosophyelevatesandsteelsthemind，Christianitysoftensandsweetensit。Theformakesustheobjectsofhumanadmiration，thelatterofDivinelove。Thatinsuresusatemporal，butthisaneternalhappiness-ButIamafraidItireyouwithmyrhapsody。\"
\"Notatall，\"criesPartridge；\"Ludforbidweshouldbetiredwithgoodthings！\"
\"Ihadspent，\"continuedthestranger，\"aboutfouryearsinthemostdelightfulmannertomyself，totallygivenuptocontemplation，andentirelyunembarrassedwiththeaffairsoftheworld，whenIlostthebestoffathers，andonewhomIsoentirelyloved，thatmygriefathislossexceedsalldescription。Inowabandonedmybooks，andgavemyselfupforawholemonthtotheeffectsofmelancholyanddespair。Time，however，thebestphysicianofthemind，atlengthbroughtmerelief。\"-\"Ay，ay；Tempusedaxrerum，\"saidPartridge-
\"Ithen，\"continuedthestranger，\"betookmyselfagaintomyformerstudies，whichImaysayperfectedmycure，forphilosophyandreligionmaybecalledtheexercisesofthemind，andwhenthisisdisordered，theyareaswholesomeasexercisecanbetoadistemperedbody。Theydoindeedproducesimilareffectswithexercise；fortheystrengthenandconfirmthemind，tillmanbecomes，inthenoblestrainofHorace-
Fortis，etinseipsototusteresatquerotundus，Externinequidvaleatperlaevemorari；
InquemmancaruitsemperFortuna\"*
*Firminhimself，whoonhimselfrelies，Polish’dandround，whorunshispropercourseAndbreaksmisfortuneswithsuperiorforce-MR。FRANCIS
HereJonessmiledatsomeconceitwhichintrudeditselfintohisimagination；butthestranger，Ibelieve，perceiveditnot，andproceededthus:-
\"Mycircumstanceswerenowgreatlyalteredbythedeathofthatbestofmen；formybrother，whowasnowbecomemasterofthehouse，differedsowidelyfrommeinhisinclinations，andourpursuitsinlifehadbeensoveryvarious，thatweweretheworstofcompanytoeachother:butwhatmadeourlivingtogetherstillmoredisagreeable，wasthelittleharmonywhichcouldsubsistbetweenthefewwhoresortedtome，andthenumeroustrainofsportsmenwhooftenattendedmybrotherfromthefieldtothetable；forsuchfellows，besidesthenoiseandnonsensewithwhichtheypersecutetheearsofsobermen，endeavouralwaystoattackthemwithaffrontandcontempt。Thiswassomuchthecase，thatneitherImyself，normyfriends，couldeversitdowntoamealwiththemwithoutbeingtreatedwithderision，becausewewereunacquaintedwiththephrasesofsportsmen。Formenoftruelearning，andalmostuniversalknowledge，alwayscompassionatetheignoranceofothers；butfellowswhoexcelinsomelittle，low，contemptibleart，arealwayscertaintodespisethosewhoareunacquaintedwiththatart。
\"Inshort，wesoonseparated，andIwent，bytheadviceofaphysician，todrinktheBathwaters；formyviolentaffliction，addedtoasedentarylife，hadthrownmeintoakindofparalyticdisorder，forwhichthosewatersareaccountedanalmostcertaincure。
Theseconddayaftermyarrival，asIwaswalkingbytheriver，thesunshonesointenselyhotthoughitwasearlyintheyear，thatI
retiredtotheshelterofsomewillows，andsatdownbytheriverside。HereIhadnotbeenseatedlongbeforeIheardapersonontheothersideofthewillowssighingandbemoaninghimselfbitterly。Onasudden，havingutteredamostimpiousoath，hecried，’Iamresolvedtobearitnolonger，’directlythrewhimselfintothewater。I
immediatelystarted，andrantowardstheplace，callingatthesametimeasloudlyasIcouldforassistance。Ananglerhappenedluckilytobea-fishingalittlebelowthoughsomeveryhighsedgehadhidhimfrommysight。Heimmediatelycameup，andbothofustogether，notwithoutsomehazardofourlives，drewthebodytotheshore。Atfirstweperceivednosignofliferemaining；buthavingheldthebodyupbytheheelsforwesoonhadassistanceenough，itdischargedavastquantityofwateratthemouth，andatlengthbegantodiscoversomesymptomsofbreathing，andalittleafterwardstomovebothitshandsanditslegs。
\"Anapothecary，whohappenedtobepresentamongothers，advisedthatthebody，whichseemednowtohaveprettywellemptieditselfofwater，andwhichbegantohavemanyconvulsivemotions，shouldbedirectlytakenup，andcarriedintoawarmbed。Thiswasaccordinglyperformed，theapothecaryandmyselfattending。
\"Asweweregoingtowardsaninn，forweknewnottheman’slodgings，luckilyawomanmetus，who，aftersomeviolentscreaming，toldusthatthegentlemanlodgedatherhouse。
\"WhenIhadseenthemansafelydepositedthere，Ilefthimtothecareoftheapothecary；who，Isuppose，usedalltherightmethodswithhim，forthenextmorningIheardhehadperfectlyrecoveredhissenses。
\"Ithenwenttovisithim，intendingtosearchout，aswellasI
could，thecauseofhishavingattemptedsodesperateanact，andtoprevent，asfarasIwasable，hispursuingsuchwickedintentionsforthefuture。Iwasnosooneradmittedintohischamber，thanwebothinstantlykneweachother；forwhoshouldthispersonbebutmygoodfriendMr。Watson！HereIwillnottroubleyouwithwhatpastatourfirstinterview；forIwouldavoidprolixityasmuchaspossible。\"-\"Prayletushearall，\"criesPartridge；\"IwantmightilytoknowwhatbroughthimtoBath。\"
\"Youshallheareverythingmaterial，\"answeredthestranger；andthenproceededtorelatewhatweshallproceedtowrite，afterwehavegivenashortbreathingtimetobothourselvesandthereader。
Chapter14
InwhichtheManoftheHillconcludeshishistory\"Mr。Watson，\"continuedthestranger，\"veryfreelyacquaintedme，thattheunhappysituationofhiscircumstances，occasionedbyatideofillluck，hadinamannerforcedhimtoaresolutionofdestroyinghimself。
\"Inowbegantoargueveryseriouslywithhim，inoppositiontothisheathenish，orindeeddiabolical，principleofthelawfulnessofself-murder；andsaideverythingwhichoccurredtomeonthesubject；but，tomygreatconcern，itseemedtohaveverylittleeffectonhim。Heseemednotatalltorepentofwhathehaddone，andgavemereasontofearhewouldsoonmakeasecondattemptofthelikehorriblekind。
\"WhenIhadfinishedmydiscourse，insteadofendeavouringtoanswermyarguments，helookedmestedfastlyintheface，andwithasmilesaid，’Youarestrangelyaltered，mygoodfriend，sinceIrememberyou。Iquestionwhetheranyofourbishopscouldmakeabetterargumentagainstsuicidethanyouhaveentertainedmewith；butunlessyoucanfindsomebodywhowilllendmeacoolhundred，Imusteitherhang，ordrown，orstarve，and，inmyopinion，thelastdeathisthemostterribleofthethree。’
\"IansweredhimverygravelythatIwasindeedalteredsinceIhadseenhimlast。ThatIhadfoundleisuretolookintomyfolliesandtorepentofthem。Ithenadvisedhimtopursuethesamesteps；andatlastconcludedwithanassurancethatImyselfwouldlendhimahundredpound，ifitwouldbeofanyservicetohisaffairs，andhewouldnotputitintothepowerofadietodeprivehimofit。
\"Mr。Watson，whoseemedalmostcomposedinslumberbytheformerpartofmydiscourse，wasrousedbythelatter。Heseizedmyhandeagerly，gavemeathousandthanks，anddeclaredIwasafriendindeed；addingthathehopedIhadabetteropinionofhimthantoimaginehehadprofitedsolittlebyexperience，astoputanyconfidenceinthosedamneddicewhichhadsooftendeceivedhim。
’No，no，’crieshe；’letmebutoncehandsomelybesetupagain，andifeverFortunemakesabrokenmerchantofmeafterwards，Iwillforgiveher。’
\"Iverywellunderstoodthelanguageofsettingup，andbrokenmerchant。Ithereforesaidtohim，withaverygraveface，Mr。Watson，youmustendeavourtofindoutsomebusinessoremployment，bywhichyoumayprocureyourselfalivelihood；andIpromiseyou，couldI
seeanyprobabilityofbeingrepaidhereafter，Iwouldadvanceamuchlargersumthanwhatyouhavementioned，toequipyouinanyfairandhonourablecalling；butastogaming，besidesthebasenessandwickednessofmakingitaprofession，youarereally，tomyownknowledge，unfitforit，anditwillendinyourcertainruin。
\"’Whynow，that’sstrange，’answeredhe；neitheryou，noranyofmyfriends，wouldeverallowmetoknowanythingofthematter，andyetIbelieveIamasgoodahandateverygameasanyofyouall；andIheartilywishIwastoplaywithyouonlyforyourwholefortune:
Ishoulddesirenobettersport，andIwouldletyounameyourgameintothebargain:butcome，mydearboy，haveyouthehundredinyourpocket？\"
\"IansweredIhadonlyabillforL50，whichIdeliveredhim，andpromisingtobringhimtherestnextmorning；andaftergivinghimalittlemoreadvice，tookmyleave。
\"Iwasindeedbetterthanmyword；forIreturnedtohimthatveryafternoon。WhenIenteredtheroom，Ifoundhimsittingupinhisbedatcardswithanotoriousgamester。Thissight，youwillimagine，shockedmenotalittle；towhichImayaddthemortificationofseeingmybilldeliveredbyhimtohisantagonist，andthirtyguineasonlygiveninexchangeforit。
\"Theothergamesterpresentlyquittedtheroom，andthenWatsondeclaredhewasashamedtoseeme；’but，’sayshe，’Ifindluckrunssodamnablyagainstme，thatIwillresolvetoleaveoffplayforever。Ihavethoughtofthekindproposalyoumademeeversince，andIpromiseyouthereshallbenofaultinme，ifIdonotputitinexecution。’
\"ThoughIhadnogreatfaithinhispromises，Iproducedhimtheremainderofthehundredinconsequenceofmyown；forwhichhegavemeanote，whichwasallIeverexpectedtoseeinreturnformymoney。
\"Wewerepreventedfromanyfurtherdiscourseatpresentbythearrivaloftheapothecary；who，withmuchjoyinhiscountenance，andwithoutevenaskinghispatienthowhedid，proclaimedtherewasgreatnewsarrivedinalettertohimself，whichhesaidwouldshortlybepublic，’ThattheDukeofMonmouthwaslandedinthewestwithavastarmyofDutch；andthatanothervastfleethoveredoverthecoastofNorfolk，andwastomakeadescentthere，inordertofavourtheduke’senterprizewithadiversiononthatside。’
\"Thisapothecarywasoneofthegreatestpoliticiansofhistime。Hewasmoredelightedwiththemostpaultrypacket，thanwiththebestpatient，andthehighestjoyhewascapableof，hereceivedfromhavingapieceofnewsinhispossessionanhourortwosoonerthananyotherpersonintown。Hisadvices，however，wereseldomauthentic；
forhewouldswallowalmostanythingatruth-ahumourwhichmanymadeuseoftoimposeuponhim。
\"Thusithappenedwithwhatheatpresentcommunicated；foritwasknownwithinashorttimeafterwardsthatthedukewasreallylanded，butthathisarmyconsistedonlyofafewattendants；andastothediversioninNorfolk，itwasentirelyfalse。
\"Theapothecarystaidnolongerintheroomthanwhileheacquainteduswithhisnews；andthen，withoutsayingasyllabletohispatientonanyothersubject，departedtospreadhisadvicesalloverthetown。
\"Eventsofthisnatureinthepublicaregenerallyapttoeclipseallprivateconcerns。Ourdiscoursethereforenowbecameentirelypolitical。Formyownpart，IhadbeenforsometimeveryseriouslyaffectedwiththedangertowhichtheProtestantreligionwassovisiblyexposedunderaPopishprince，andthoughttheapprehensionofitalonesufficienttojustifythatinsurrection；fornorealsecuritycaneverbefoundagainstthepersecutingspiritofPopery，whenarmedwithpower，exceptthedeprivingitofthatpower，aswoefulexperiencepresentlyshowed。YouknowhowKingJamesbehavedaftergettingthebetterofthisattempt；howlittlehevaluedeitherhisroyalword，orcoronationoath，orthelibertiesandrightsofhispeople。Butallhadnotthesensetoforeseethisatfirst；andthereforetheDukeofMonmouthwasweaklysupported；yetallcouldfeelwhentheevilcameuponthem；andthereforeallunited，atlast，todriveoutthatking，againstwhoseexclusionagreatpartyamongushadsowarmlycontendedduringthereignofhisbrother，andforwhomtheynowfoughtwithsuchzealandaffection。\"
\"Whatyousay，\"interruptedJones，\"isverytrue；andithasoftenstruckme，asthemostwonderfulthingIeverreadofinhistory，thatsosoonafterthisconvincingexperiencewhichbroughtourwholenationtojoinsounanimouslyinexpellingKingJames，forthepreservationofourreligionandliberties，thereshouldbeapartyamongusmadenoughtodesiretheplacinghisfamilyagainonthethrone。\"\"Youarenotinearnest！\"answeredtheoldman；\"therecanbenosuchparty。AsbadanopinionasIhaveofmankind，Icannotbelievetheminfatuatedtosuchadegree。Theremaybesomehot-headedPapistsledbytheirprieststoengageinthisdesperatecause，andthinkitaholywar；butthatProtestants，thataremembersoftheChurchofEngland，shouldbesuchapostates，suchfelosdese，I
cannotbelieveit；no，no，youngman，unacquaintedasIamwithwhathaspastintheworldfortheselastthirtyyears，Icannotbesoimposeduponastocreditsofoolishatale；butIseeyouhaveamindtosportwithmyignorance。\"-\"Canitbepossible，\"repliedJones，\"thatyouhavelivedsomuchoutoftheworldasnottoknowthatduringthattimetherehavebeentworebellionsinfavourofthesonofKingJames，oneofwhichisnowactuallyragingintheveryheartofthekingdom。\"Atthesewordstheoldgentlemanstartedup，andinamostsolemntoneofvoice，conjuredJonesbyhisMakertotellhimifwhathesaidwasreallytrue；whichtheotherassolemnlyaffirming，hewalkedseveralturnsabouttheroominaprofoundsilence，thencried，thenlaughed，andatlastfelldownonhisknees，andblessedGod，inaloudthanksgivingprayer，forhavingdeliveredhimfromallsocietywithhumannature，whichcouldbecapableofsuchmonstrousextravagances。Afterwhich，beingremindedbyJonesthathehadbrokeoffhisstory，heresumeditagaininthismanner:-
\"Asmankind，inthedaysIwasspeakingof，wasnotyetarrivedatthatpitchofmadnesswhichIfindtheyarecapableofnow，andwhich，tobesure，Ihaveonlyescapedbylivingalone，andatadistancefromthecontagion，therewasaconsiderablerisinginfavourofMonmouth；andmyprinciplesstronglyincliningmetotakethesamepart，Ideterminedtojoinhim；andMr。Watson，fromdifferentmotivesconcurringinthesameresolutionforthespiritofagamesterwillcarryamanasfaruponsuchanoccasionasthespiritofpatriotism，wesoonprovidedourselveswithallnecessaries，andwenttothedukeatBridgewater。
\"Theunfortunateeventofthisenterprize，youare，Iconclude，aswellacquaintedwithasmyself。Iescaped，togetherwithMr。Watson，fromthebattleatSedgemore，inwhichactionIreceivedaslightwound。WerodenearfortymilestogetherontheExeterroad，andthenabandoningourhorses，scrambledaswellaswecouldthroughthefieldsandbye-roads，tillwearrivedatalittlewildhutonacommon，whereapooroldwomantookallthecareofusshecould，anddressedmywoundwithsalve，whichquicklyhealedit。\"
\"Pray，sir，wherewasthewound？\"saysPartridge。Thestrangersatisfiedhimitwasinhisarm，andthencontinuedhisnarrative。
\"Here，sir，\"saidhe，\"Mr。Watsonleftmethenextmorning，inorder，ashepretended，togetussomeprovisionfromthetownofCollumpton；but-canIrelateit，orcanyoubelieveit？-thisMr。
Watson，thisfriend，thisbase，barbarous，treacherousvillain，betrayedmetoapartyofhorsebelongingtoKingJames，andathisreturndeliveredmeintotheirhands。
\"Thesoldiers，beingsixinnumber，hadnowseizedme，andwereconductingmetoTauntongaol；butneithermypresentsituation，northeapprehensionsofwhatmighthappentome，werehalfsoirksometomymindasthecompanyofmyfalsefriend，who，havingsurrenderedhimself，waslikewiseconsideredasaprisoner，thoughhewasbettertreated，asbeingtomakehispeaceatmyexpense。Heatfirstendeavouredtoexcusehistreachery；butwhenhereceivednothingbutscornandupbraidingfromme，hesoonchangedhisnote，abusedmeasthemostatrociousandmaliciousrebel，andlaidallhisownguilttomycharge，who，ashedeclared，hadsolicited，andeventhreatenedhim，tomakehimtakeuparmsagainsthisgraciousaswellaslawfulsovereign。
\"Thisfalseevidenceforinrealityhehadbeenmuchtheforwarderofthetwostungmetothequick，andraisedanindignationscarceconceivablebythosewhohavenotfeltit。However，fortuneatlengthtookpityonme；forasweweregotalittlebeyondWellington，inanarrowlane，myguardsreceivedafalsealarm，thatnearfiftyoftheenemywereathand；uponwhichtheyshiftedforthemselves，andleftmeandmybetrayertodothesame。Thatvillainimmediatelyranfromme，andIamgladhedid，orIshouldhavecertainlyendeavoured，thoughIhadnoarms，tohaveexecutedvengeanceonhisbaseness。
\"Iwasnowoncemoreatliberty；andimmediatelywithdrawingfromthehighwayintothefields，Itravelledon，scarceknowingwhichwayIwent，andmakingitmychiefcaretoavoidallpublicroadsandalltowns-nay，eventhemosthomelyhouses；forIimaginedeveryhumancreaturewhomIsawdesirousofbetrayingme。
\"Atlast，afterramblingseveraldaysaboutthecountry，duringwhichthefieldsaffordedmethesamebedandthesamefoodwhichnaturebestowsonoursavagebrothersofthecreation，Iatlengtharrivedatthisplace，wherethesolitudeandwildnessofthecountryinvitedmetofixmyabode。ThefirstpersonwithwhomI
tookupmyhabitationwasthemotherofthisoldwoman，withwhomI
remainedconcealedtillthenewsofthegloriousrevolutionputanendtoallmyapprehensionsofdanger，andgavemeanopportunityofoncemorevisitingmyownhome，andofenquiringalittleintomyaffairs，whichIsoonsettledasagreeablytomybrotherastomyself；
havingresignedeverythingtohim，forwhichhepaidmethesumofathousandpounds，andsettledonmeanannuityforlife。
\"Hisbehaviourinthislastinstance，asinallothers，wasselfishandungenerous。Icouldnotlookonhimasmyfriend，norindeeddidhedesirethatIshould；soIpresentlytookmyleaveofhim，aswellasofmyotheracquaintance；andfromthatdaytothis，myhistoryislittlebetterthanablank。\"
\"Andisitpossible，sir，\"saidJones，\"thatyoucanhaveresidedherefromthatdaytothis？\"-\"Ono，sir，\"answeredthegentleman；\"I
havebeenagreattraveller，andtherearefewpartsofEuropewithwhichIamnotacquainted。\"-\"Ihavenot，sir，\"criedJones，\"theassurancetoaskitofyounow；indeeditwouldbecruel，aftersomuchbreathasyoualreadyspent:butyouwillgivemeleavetowishforsomefurtheropportunityoftheexcellentobservationswhichamanofyoursenseandknowledgeoftheworldmustmadeinsolongacourseoftravels。\"-\"Indeed，younggentleman，\"answeredthestranger，\"I
willendeavourtosatisfyyourcuriosityonthisheadlikewise，asfarasIamable。\"Jonesattemptedfreshapologies，butwasprevented；andwhileheandPartridgesatwithandimpatientears，thestrangerproceededinthenextchapter。
Chapter15
AbriefhistoryofEurope；andacuriousdiscoursebetweenMr。JonesandtheManontheHill\"InItalythelandlordsareverysilent。Francetheyaremoretalkative，butyetcivil。InGermanyandHollandtheyaregenerallyveryimpertinent。Andasfortheirhonesty，Ibelieveitisprettyequalinallthosecountries。Thelaquaisalouangearesuretolosenoopportunityofcheatingyou；andasforthepostilions，Ithinktheyareprettymuchaliketheworldover。These，sir，aretheobservationsonmenwhichImadeinmytravels；fortheseweretheonlymenIeverconversedwith。Mydesign，whenIwentabroad，wastodivertmyselfbyseeingthewondrousvarietyofprospects，beasts，birds，fishes，insects，andvegetables，withwhichGodhasbeenpleasetoenrichtheseveralpartsofthisglobe；awhich，asitmustgivegreatpleasuretoacontemplativebeholder，sodothitadmirablythepower，andwisdom，andgoodnessoftheCreator。
Indeed，tosaythetruth，thereisbutoneworkinhiswholecreationthathimanydishonour，andwiththatIhavelongsinceavoidedboldinganyconversation。\"
\"Youwillpardonme，\"criesJones；\"butIhavealwaysimaginedthatthereisinthisworkyoumentionasgreatvarietyasinalltherest；for，besidesthedifferenceofinclination，customsandclimateshave，Iamintroducedtheutmostdiversityintohumannature。\"
\"Verylittleindeed，\"answeredtheother:to\"thosewhotravelinordertoacquaintthemselveswiththedifferentmannersofmenmightsparethemselvesmuchpainsbygoingtoacarnivalatVenice；fortheretheywillseeatonceallwhichtheycandiscoverintheseveralcourtsofEurope。Thesamehypocrisy，thesamefraud；inshort，thesamefolliesandvicesdressedindifferenthabits。InSpain，theseareequippedwithmuchgravity；andinItaly，withvastsplendor。InFrance，aknaveisdressedlikeafop；andinthenortherncountries，likeasloven。Buthumannatureiseverywherethesame，everywheretheobjectofdetestationandscorn。
\"Asformyownpart，Ipastthroughallthesenationsasyouperhapsmayhavedonethroughacroudatashow-jostlingtogetbythem，holdingmynosewithonehand，anddefendingmypocketswiththeother，withoutspeakingawordtoanyofthem，whileIwaspressingontoseewhatIwantedtosee；which，howeverentertainingitmightbeinitself，scarcemademeamendsforthetroublethecompanygaveme。\"
\"Didnotyoufindsomeofthenationsamongwhichyoutravelledlesstroublesometoyouthanothers？\"saidJones。\"Oyes，\"repliedtheoldman:\"theTurksweremuchmoretolerabletomethantheChristians；fortheyaremenofprofoundtaciturnity，andneverdisturbastrangerwithquestions。Nowandthenindeedtheybestowashortcurseuponhim，orspitinhisfaceashewalksthestreets，butthentheyhavedonewithhim；andamanmayliveanageintheircountrywithouthearingadozenwordsfromthem。ButofallthepeopleIeversaw，heavendefendmefromtheFrench！Withtheirdamnedprateandcivilitiesanddoingthehonouroftheirnationtostrangersastheyarepleasedtocallit，butindeedsettingforththeirownvanity；theyaresotroublesome，thatIhadinfinitelyratherpassmylifewiththeHottentotsthansetmyfootinParisagain。Theyareanastypeople，buttheirnastinessismostlywithout；whereas，inFrance，andsomeothernationsthatIwon’tname，itisallwithin，andmakesthemstinkmuchmoretomyreasonthanthatofHottentotsdoestomynose。
\"Thus，sir，Ihaveendedthehistoryofmylife；forastoallthatseriesofyearsduringwhichIhavelivedretiredhere，itaffordsnovarietytoentertainyou，andmaybealmostconsideredasoneday。Theretirementhasbeensocompleat，thatIcouldhardlyhaveenjoyedamoreabsolutesolitudeinthedesertsoftheThebaisthanhereinthemidstofthispopulouskingdom。AsIhavenoestate，I
amplaguedwithnotenantsorstewards:myannuityispaidmeprettyregularly，asindeeditoughttobe；foritismuchlessthanwhatI
mighthaveexpectedinreturnforwhatIgaveup。VisitsIadmitnone；
andtheoldwomanwhokeepsmyhouseknowsthatherplaceentirelydependsuponhersavingmeallthetroubleofbuyingthethingsthatI
want，keepingoffallsollicitationorbusinessfromme，andholdinghertonguewheneverIamwithinhearing。Asmywalksareallbynight，Iamprettysecureinthiswildunfrequentedplacefrommeetinganycompany。SomefewpersonsIhavemetbychance，andsentthemhomeheartilyfrighted，asfromtheoddnessofmydressandfiguretheytookmeforaghostorahobgoblin。Butwhathashappenedto-nightshowsthatevenhereIcannotbesafefromthevillanyofmen；forwithoutyourassistanceIhadnotonlybeenrobbed，butveryprobablymurdered。\"
Jonesthankedthestrangerforthetroublehehadtakeninrelatinghisstory，andthenexpressedsomewonderhowhecouldpossiblyendurealifeofsuchsolitude；\"inwhich，\"sayshe，\"youmaywellcomplainofthewantofvariety。IndeedIamastonishedhowyouhavefilledup，orratherkilled，somuchofyourtime。\"
\"Iamnotatallsurprized，\"answeredtheother，\"thattoonewhoseaffectionsandthoughtsarefixedontheworldmyhoursshouldappeartohavewantedemploymentinthisplace:butthereisonesingleact，forwhichthewholelifeofmanisinfinitelytooshort:
whattimecansufficeforthecontemplationandworshipofthatglorious，immortal，andeternalBeing，amongtheworksofwhosestupendouscreationnotonlythisglobe，buteventhosenumberlessluminarieswhichwemayherebeholdspanglingallthesky，thoughtheyshouldmanyofthembesunslightingdifferentsystemsofworlds，maypossiblyappearbutasafewatomsopposedtothewholeearthwhichweinhabit？Canamanwhobydivinemeditationsisadmittedasitwereintotheconversationofthisineffable，incomprehensibleMajesty，thinkdays，oryears，orages，toolongforthecontinuanceofsoravishinganhonour？Shallthetriflingamusements，thepallingpleasures，thesillybusinessoftheworld，rollawayourhourstooswiftlyfromus；andshallthepaceoftimeseemsluggishtoamindexercisedinstudiessohigh，soimportant，andsoglorious？Asnotimeissufficient，sonoplaceisproper，forthisgreatconcern。Onwhatobjectcanwecastoureyeswhichmaynotinspireuswithideasofhispower，ofhiswisdom，andofhisgoodness？Itisnotnecessarythattherisingsunshoulddarthisfierygloriesovertheeasternhorizon；northattheboisterouswindsshouldrushfromtheircaverns，andshaketheloftyforest；northattheopeningcloudsshouldpourtheirdelugesontheplains:itisnotnecessary，I
say，thatanyoftheseshouldproclaimhismajesty:thereisnotaninsect，notavegetable，ofsolowanorderinthecreationasnottobehonouredwithbearingmarksoftheattributesofitsgreatCreator；marksnotonlyofhispower，butofhiswisdomandgoodness。Manalone，thekingofthisglobe，thelastandgreatestworkoftheSupremeBeing，belowthesun；manalonehathbaselydishonouredhisownnature；andbydishonesty，cruelty，ingratitude，andtreachery，hathcalledhisMaker’sgoodnessinquestion，bypuzzlingustoaccounthowabenevolentbeingshouldformsofoolishandsovileananimal。Yetthisisthebeingfromwhoseconversationyouthink，Isuppose，thatIhavebeenunfortunatelyrestrained，andwithoutwhoseblessedsociety，life，inyouropinion，mustbetediousandinsipid。\"
\"Intheformerpartofwhatyousaid，\"repliedJones，\"Imostheartilyandreadilyconcur；butIbelieve，aswellashope，thattheabhorrencewhichyouexpressformankindintheconclusion，ismuchtoogeneral。Indeed，youherefallintoanerror，whichinmylittleexperienceIhaveobservedtobeaverycommonone，bytakingthecharacterofmankindfromtheworstandbasestamongthem；
whereas，indeed，asanexcellentwriterobserves，nothingshouldbeesteemedascharacteristicalofaspecies，butwhatistobefoundamongthebestandmostperfectindividualsofthatspecies。Thiserror，Ibelieve，isgenerallycommittedbythosewhofromwantofpropercautioninthechoiceoftheirfriendsandacquaintance，havesufferedinjuriesfrombadandworthlessmen；twoorthreeinstancesofwhichareveryunjustlychargedonallhumannature。\"
\"IthinkIhadexperienceenoughofit，\"answeredtheother:\"myfirstmistressandmyfirstfriendbetrayedmeinthebasestmanner，andinmatterswhichthreatenedtobeoftheworstofconsequences-
eventobringmetoashamefuldeath。\"
\"Butyouwillpardonme，\"criesJones，\"ifIdesireyoutoreflectwhothatmistressandwhothatfriendwere。Whatbetter，mygoodsir，couldbeexpectedinlovederivedfromthestews，orinfriendshipfirstproducedandnourishedatthegaming-table？Totakethecharactersofwomenfromtheformerinstanceorofmenfromthelatter，wouldbeasunjustastoassertthatairisanauseousandunwholesomeelement，becausewefinditsoinajakes。Ihavelivedbutashorttimeintheworld，andyethaveknownmenworthyofthehighestfriendship，andwomenofthehighestlove。\"
\"Alas！youngman，\"answeredthestranger，\"youhavelived，youconfess，butaveryshorttimeintheworld:IwassomewhatolderthanyouwhenIwasofthesameopinion。\"
\"Youmighthaveremainedsostill，\"repliesJones，\"ifyouhadnotbeenunfortunate，Iwillventuretosayincautious，intheplacingyouraffections。Iftherewas，indeed，muchmorewickednessintheworldthanthereis，itwouldnotprovesuchgeneralassertionsagainsthumannature，sincemuchofthisarrivesbymereaccident，andmanyamanwhocommitsevilisnottotallybadandcorruptinhisheart。Intruth，noneseemtohaveanytitletoasserthumannaturetobenecessarilyanduniversallyevil，butthosewhoseownmindsaffordthemoneinstanceofthisnaturaldepravity；whichisnot，Iamconvinced，yourcase。\"
\"Andsuch，\"saidthestranger，\"willbealwaysthemostbackwardtoassertanysuchthing。Knaveswillnomoreendeavourtopersuadeusofthebasenessofmankind，thanahighwaymanwillinformyouthattherearethievesontheroad。Thiswould，indeed，beamethodtoputyouonyourguard，andtodefeattheirownpurposes。Forwhichreason，thoughknaves，asIremember，areveryapttoabuseparticularpersons，yettheynevercastanyreflectiononhumannatureingeneral。\"Theoldgentlemanspokethissowarmly，thatasJonesdespairedofmakingaconvert，andwasunwillingtooffend，hereturnednoanswer。
Thedaynowbegantosendforthitsfirststreamsoflight，whenJonesmadeanapologytothestrangerforhavingstaidsolong，andperhapsdetainedhimfromhisrest。Thestrangeranswered，\"Heneverwantedrestlessthanatpresent；forthatdayandnightwereindifferentseasonstohim；andthathecommonlymadeuseoftheformerforthetimeofhisreposeandofthelatterforhiswalksandlucubrations。However，\"saidhe，\"itisnowamostlovelymorning，andifyoucanbearanylongertobewithoutyourownrestorfood，IwillgladlyentertainyouwiththesightofsomeveryfineprospectswhichIbelieveyouhavenotyetseen。\"
Jonesveryreadilyembracedthisoffer，andtheyimmediatelysetforwardtogetherfromthecottage。AsforPartridge，hehadfallenintoaprofoundreposejustasthestrangerhadfinishedhisstory；
forhiscuriositywassatisfied，andthesubsequentdiscoursewasnotforcibleenoughinitsoperationtoconjuredownthecharmsofsleep。Jonesthereforelefthimtoenjoyhisnap；andasthereadermayperhapsbeatthisseasongladofthesamefavour，wewillhereputanendtotheeighthbookofourhistory。
BOOKIX
CONTAININGTWELVEHOURS
Chapter1
Ofthosewholawfullymay，andofthosewhomaynot，writesuchhistoriesasthisAmongothergoodusesforwhichIhavethoughtpropertoinstitutetheseseveralintroductorychapters，Ihaveconsideredthemasakindofmarkorstamp，whichmayhereafterenableaveryindifferentreadertodistinguishwhatistrueandgenuineinthishistorickindofwriting，fromwhatisfalseandcounterfeit。Indeed，itseemslikelythatsomesuchmarkmayshortlybecomenecessary，sincethefavourablereceptionwhichtwoorthreeauthorshavelatelyprocuredfortheirworksofthisnaturefromthepublic，willprobablyserveasanencouragementtomanyotherstoundertakethelike。Thusaswarmoffoolishnovelsandmonstrousromanceswillbeproduced，eithertothegreatimpoverishingofbook-sellers，ortothegreatlossoftimeanddepravationofmoralsinthereader；nay，oftentothespreadingofscandalandcalumny，andtotheprejudiceofthecharactersofmanyworthyandhonestpeople。
IquestionnotbuttheingeniousauthoroftheSpectatorwasprincipallyinducedtoprefixGreekandLatinmottostoeverypaper，fromthesameconsiderationofguardingagainstthepursuitofthosescribblers，whohavingnotalentsofawriterbutwhatistaughtbythewriting-master，areyetnowiseafraidnorashamedtoassumethesametitleswiththegreatestgenius，thantheirgoodbrotherinthefablewasofbrayinginthelion’sskin。
Bythedevicethereforeofhismotto，itbecameimpracticableforanymantopresumetoimitatetheSpectators，withoutunderstandingatleastonesentenceinthelearnedlanguages。InthesamemannerIhavenowsecuredmyselffromtheimitationofthosewhoareutterlyincapableofanydegreeofreflection，andwhoselearningisnotequaltoanessay。
Iwouldnotbehereunderstoodtoinsinuate，thatthegreatestmeritofsuchhistoricalproductionscaneverlieintheseintroductorychapters；but，infact，thosepartswhichcontainmerenarrativeonly，affordmuchmoreencouragementtothepenofanimitator，thanthosewhicharecomposedofobservationandreflection。HereImeansuchimitatorsasRowewasofShakespear，orasHoracehintssomeoftheRomanswereofCato，bybarefeetandsourfaces。
Toinventgoodstories，andtotellthemwell，arepossiblyveryraretalents，andyetIhaveobservedfewpersonswhohavescrupledtoaimatboth:andifweexaminetheromancesandnovelswithwhichtheworldabounds，Ithinkwemayfairlyconclude，thatmostoftheauthorswouldnothaveattemptedtoshowtheirteethiftheexpressionmaybeallowedmeinanyotherwayofwriting；norcouldindeedhavestrungtogetheradozensentencesonanyothersubjectwhatever。Scribimusindoctidoctiquepassim，*maybemoretrulysaidofthehistorianandbiographer，thanofanyotherspeciesofwriting；
foralltheartsandsciencesevencriticismitselfrequiresomelittledegreeoflearningandknowledge。Poetry，indeed，mayperhapsbethoughtanexception；butthenitdemandsnumbers，orsomethinglikenumbers:whereas，tothecompositionofnovelsandromances，nothingisnecessarybutpaper，pens，andink，withthemanualcapacityofusingthem。This，Iconceive，theirproductionsshowtobetheopinionoftheauthorsthemselves:andthismustbetheopinionoftheirreaders，ifindeedtherebeanysuch。
*——Eachdesperateblockheaddarestowrite:
Verseisthetradeofeverylivingwight-MR。FRANCIS
Hencewearetoderivethatuniversalcontemptwhichtheworld，whoalwaysdenominatesthewholefromthemajority，havecastonallhistoricalwriterswhodonotdrawtheirmaterialsfromrecords。Anditistheapprehensionofthiscontemptthathathmadeussocautiouslyavoidthetermromance，anamewithwhichwemightotherwisehavebeenwellenoughcontented。Though，aswehivegoodauthorityforallourcharacters，nolessindeedthanthevastauthenticdoomsday-bookofnature，asiselsewherehinted，ourlabourshavesufficienttitletothenameofhistory。Certainlytheydeservesomedistinctionfromthoseworks，whichoneofthewittiestofmenregardedonlyasproceedingfromapruritus，orindeedratherfromaloosenessofthebrain。
Butbesidesthedishonourwhichisthuscastononeofthemostusefulaswellasentertainingofallkindsofwriting，thereisjustreasontoapprehend，thatbyencouragingsuchauthorsweshallpropagatemuchdishonourofanotherkind；Imeantothecharactersofmanygoodandvaluablemembersofsociety；forthedullestwriters，nomorethanthedullestcompanions，arealwaysinoffensive。Theyhavebothenoughoflanguagetobeindecentandabusive。Andsurelyiftheopinionjustabovecitedbetrue，wecannotwonderthatworkssonastilyderivedshouldbenastythemselves，orhaveatendencytomakeothersso。
Topreventtherefore，forthefuture，suchintemperateabusesofleisure，ofletters，andofthelibertyofthepress，especiallyastheworldseemsatpresenttobemorethanusuallythreatenedwiththem，Ishallhereventuretomentionsomequalifications，everyoneofwhichareinaprettyhighdegreenecessarytothisorderofhistorians。
Thefirstis，genius，withoutafullveinofwhichnostudy，saysHorace，canavailus。BygeniusIwouldunderstandthatthepowerorratherthosepowersofthemind，whicharecapableofpenetratingintoallthingswithinourreachandknowledge，andofdistinguishingtheiressentialdifferences。Thesearenootherthaninventionandjudgment；
andtheyarebothcalledbythecollectivenameofgenius，astheyareofthosegiftsofnaturewhichwebringwithusintotheworld。
Concerningeachofwhichmanyseemtohavefallenintoverygreaterrors；forbyinvention，Ibelieve，isgenerallyunderstoodacreativefaculty，whichwouldindeedprovemostromancewriterstohavethehighestpretensionstoit；whereasbyinventionisreallymeantnomoreandsothewordsignifiesthandiscovery，findingout；
ortoexplainitatlarge，aquickandsagaciouspenetrationintothetrueessenceofalltheobjectsofourcontemplation。ThisI
think，canrarelyexistwithouttheconcomitancyofjudgment；forhowwecanbesaidtohavediscoveredthetrueessenceoftwothings，withoutdiscerningtheirdifference，seemstomehardtoconceive。Nowthislastistheundisputedprovinceofjudgment，andyetsomefewmenofwithaveagreedwithallthedullfellowsintheworldinrepresentingthesetwotohavebeenseldomorneverthepropertyofoneandthesameperson。
Butthoughtheyshouldbeso，theyarenotsufficientforourpurpose，withoutagoodshareoflearning；forwhichIcouldagaincitetheauthorityofHorace，andofmanyothers，ifanywasnecessarytoprovethattoolsareofnoservicetoaworkman，whentheyarenotsharpenedbyart，orwhenhewantsrulestodirecthiminhiswork，orhathnomattertoworkupon。Alltheseusesaresuppliedbylearning；fornaturecanonlyfurnishwithcapacity；or，asIhavechosetoillustrateit，withthetoolsofourprofession；learningmustfitthemforuse，mustdirecttheminit，andlastly，mustcontributepartatleastofthematerials。Acompetentknowledgeofhistoryandofthebelleslettresishereabsolutelynecessary；andwithoutthisshareofknowledgeatleast，toaffectthecharacterofanhistorian，isasvainastoendeavouratbuildingahousewithouttimberormortar，orbrickorstone。HomerandMilton，who，thoughtheyaddedtheornamentofnumberstotheirworks，werebothhistoriansofourorder，weremastersofallthelearningoftheirtimes。
Again，thereisanothersortofknowledge，beyondthepoweroflearningtobestow，andthisistobehadbyconversation。Sonecessaryisthistotheunderstandingthecharactersofmen，thatnonearemoreignorantofthemthanthoselearnedpedantswhoseliveshavebeenentirelyconsumedincolleges，andamongbooks；forhoweverexquisitelyhumannaturemayhavebeendescribedbywriters，thetruepracticalsystemcanbelearntonlyintheworld。Indeed，thelikehappenseveryotherkindofknowledge。Neitherphysicnorlawaretobepracticallyknownfrombooks。Nay，thefarmer，theplanter，thegardener，mustperfectbyexperiencewhathehathacquiredtherudimentsofbyreading。HowaccuratelysoevertheingeniousMr。
Millermayhavedescribedtheplant，hehimselfwouldadvisehisdiscipletoseeitinthegarden。Aswemustperceive，thataftertheniceststrokesofaShakespearoraJonson，ofaWycherlyoranOtway，sometouchesofnaturewillescapethereader，whichthejudiciousactionofaGarrick，ofaCibber，oraClive，*canconveytohim；so，ontherealstage，thecharactershowshimselfinastrongerandbolderlightthanhecanbedescribed。Andifthisbethecaseinthosefineandnervousdescriptionswhichgreatauthorsthemselveshavetakenfromlife，howmuchmorestronglywillitholdwhenthewriterhimselftakeshislinesnotfromnature，butfrombooks？Suchcharactersareonlythefaintcopyofacopy，andcanhaveneitherthejustnessnorspiritofanoriginal。
*Thereisapeculiarproprietyinmentioningthisgreatactor，andthesetwomostjustlycelebratedactresses，inthisplace，astheyhaveallformedthemselvesonthestudyofnatureonly，andnotontheimitationoftheirpredecessors。Hencetheyhavebeenabletoexcelallwhohavegonebeforethem；adegreeofmeritwhichtheservileherdofimitatorscanneverpossiblyarriveat。
Nowthisconversationinourhistorianmustbeuniversal，thatis，withallranksanddegreesofmen；fortheknowledgeofwhatiscalledhighlifewillnotinstructhiminlow；nor，econverso，willhisbeingacquaintedwiththeinferiorpartofmankindteachhimthemannersofthesuperior。Andthoughitmaybethoughtthattheknowledgeofeithermaysufficientlyenablehimtodescribeatleastthatinwhichhehathbeenconversant，yethewillevenherefallgreatlyshortofperfection；forthefolliesofeitherrankdoinrealityillustrateeachother。Forinstance，theaffectationofhighlifeappearsmoreglaringandridiculousfromthesimplicityofthelow；andagain，therudenessandbarbarityofthislatter，strikeswithmuchstrongerideasofabsurdity，whencontrastedwith，andopposedto，thepolitenesswhichcontrolstheformer。Besides，tosaythetruth，themannersofourhistorianwillbeimprovedbyboththeseconversations；forintheonehewilleasilyfindexamplesofplainness，honesty，andsincerity；intheotherofrefinement，elegance，andaliberalityofspirit；whichlastqualityImyselfhavescarceeverseeninmenoflowbirthandeducation。
NorwillallthequalitiesIhavehithertogivenmyhistorianavailhim，unlesshehavewhatisgenerallymeantbyagoodheart，andbecapableoffeeling。Theauthorwhomakemeweep，saysHorace，mustfirstweephimself。Inreality，nomancanpaintawellwhichhedothnotfeelwhileheispaintingit；nordoIdoubt，butthatthemostpatheticandaffectingsceneshavebeenwritwithtears。Inthesamemanneritiswiththeridiculous。IamconvincedInevermakemyreaderlaughheartilybutwhereIhavelaughedbeforehim；unlessitshouldhappenatanytime，thatinsteadoflaughingwithmeheshouldbeinclinedtolaughatme。Perhapsthismayhavebeenthecaseatsomepassagesinthischapter，fromwhichapprehensionIwillhereputanendtoit。
Chapter2
Containingaverysurprizingadventureindeed，whichMr。JonesmetwithinhiswalkwiththeManoftheHillAuroranowfirstopenedhercasement，Anglicethedaybegantobreak，whenwalkedforthincompanywiththestranger，andmountedMazardHill；ofwhichtheyhadnosoonergainedthesummitthanoneofthemostnobleprospectsintheworldpresenteditselftotheirview，andwhichwewouldlikewisepresenttothereader，butfortworeasons:wedespairofmakingthosewhohaveseenthisprospectadmireourdescription；secondly，weverymuchdoubtwhetherwhohavenotseenitwouldunderstandit。
Jonesstoodforsomeminutesfixedinoneposture，anddirectinghiseyestowardsthesouth；uponwhichtheoldgentlemanasked，hewaslookingatwithsomuchattention？\"Alas！sir，\"answeredhewithasigh，wasendeavouringtotraceoutmyownjourneyhither。Goodheavens！whatadistanceisGloucesterfromus！Whatavasttrackoflandbebetweenmeandmyownhome！\"-\"Ay，ay，younggentleman，\"
criestheother，\"andyoursighing，fromwhatyoulovebetteryourownhome，orIammistaken。Iperceivenowtheobjectofyourcontemplationisnotwithinyoursight，andyetIfancyyouhavepleasureinlookingthatway。\"Jonesansweredwithasmile，\"Ifind，oldfriend，youhavenotyetforgotthesensationsofyouryouth。Imythoughtswereemployedasyouhaveguessed。\"
Theynowwalkedtothatpartofthehillwhichlookstothenorth-west，andwhichhangsavastandextensivewood。Heretheynosoonerarrivedthantheyheardatadistancethemostviolentscreamsofawoman，proceedingfromthewoodbelowthem。Joneslistenedamoment，andthen，withoutsayingawordtohiscompanionforindeedtheoccasionseemedsufficientlypressing，ran，orratherslid，downthehill，andwithouttheleastapprehensionorconcernforhisownsafety，madedirectlytothethicket，whencethesoundhadissued。
Hehadnotenteredfarintothewoodbeforehebeheldamostshockingsightindeed，awomanstripthalfnaked，underthehandsofaruffian，whohadputhisgarterroundherneck，andwasendeavouringtodrawheruptoatree。Jonesaskednoquestionsatthisinterval，butfellinstantlyuponthevillain，andmadesuchgooduseofhistrustyoakenstickthathelaidhimsprawlingonthegroundbeforehecoulddefendhimself，indeedalmostbeforeheknewhewasattacked；
nordidheceasetheprosecutionofhisblowstillthewomanherselfbeggedhimtoforbear，saying，shebelievedhehadsufficientlydonehisbusiness。
ThepoorwretchthenfelluponherkneestoJones，andgavehimathousandthanksforherdeliverance。Hepresentlyliftedherup，andtoldherhewashighlypleasedwiththeextraordinaryaccidentwhichhadsenthimthitherforherrelief，whereitwassoimprobablesheshouldfindany；adding，thatHeavenseemedtohavedesignedhimasthehappyinstrumentofherprotection。\"Nay，\"answeredshe，\"I
couldalmostconceiveyoutobesomegoodangel；and，tosaythetruth，youlookmorelikeanangelthanamaninmyeye。\"Indeedhewasacharmingfigure；andifaveryfineperson，andamostcomelysetoffeatures，adornedwithyouth，health，strength，freshness，spirit，andgood-nature，canmakeamanresembleanangel，hecertainlyhadthatresemblance。
Theredeemedcaptivehadnotaltogethersomuchofthehuman-angelicspecies:sheseemedtobeatleastofthemiddleage，norhadherfacemuchappearanceofbeauty；buthercloathsbeingtornfromalltheupperpartofherbody，herbreasts，whichwerewellformedandextremelywhite，attractedtheeyesofherdeliverer，andforafewmomentstheystoodsilent，andgazingateachother；tilltheruffianonthegroundbeginningtomove，Jonestookthegarterwhichhadbeenintendedforanotherpurpose，andboundbothhishandsbehindhim。Andnow，oncontemplatinghisface，hediscovered，greatlytohissurprize，andperhapsnotalittletohissatisfaction，thisverypersontobenootherthanensignNortherton。Norhadtheensignforgottenhisformerantagonist，whomheknewthemomenthecametohimself。HissurprizewasequaltothatofJones；butIconceivehispleasurewasratherlessonthisoccasion。
JoneshelpedNorthertonuponhislegs，andthenlookinghimstedfastlyintheface，\"Ifancy，sir，\"saidhe，\"youdidnotexpecttomeetmeanymoreinthisworld，andIconfessIhadaslittleexpectationtofindyouhere。However，fortune，Isee，hathbroughtusoncemoretogether，andhathgivenmesatisfactionfortheinjuryI
havereceived，evenwithoutmyownknowledge。\"
\"Itisverymuchlikeamanofhonour，indeed，\"answeredNortherton，\"totakesatisfactionbyknockingamandownbehindhisback。
NeitheramIcapableofgivingyousatisfactionhere，asIhavenosword；butifyoudarebehavelikeagentleman，letusgowhereI
canfurnishmyselfwithone，andIwilldobyyouasamanofhonourought。\"
\"Dothitbecomesuchavillainasyouare，\"criesJones，\"tocontaminatethenameofhonourbyassumingit？ButIshallwastenotimeindiscoursewithyou。justicerequiressatisfactionofyounow，andshallhaveit。\"Thenturningtothewoman，heaskedher，ifshewasnearherhome；orifnot，whethershewasacquaintedwithanyhouseintheneighbourhood，whereshemightprocureherselfsomedecentcloaths，inordertoproceedtoajusticeofthepeace。
Sheansweredshewasanentirestrangerinthatpartoftheworld。
Jonesthenrecollectinghimself，said，hehadafriendnearwhowoulddirectthem；indeed，hewonderedathisnotfollowing；but，infact，thegoodManoftheHill，whenourheroedeparted，sathimselfdownonthebrow，where，thoughhehadaguninhishand，hewithgreatpatienceandunconcernhadattendedtheissue。
Jonesthensteppingwithoutthewood，perceivedtheoldmansittingaswehavejustdescribedhim；hepresentlyexertedhisutmostagility，andwithsurprizingexpeditionascendedthehill。
TheoldmanadvisedhimtocarrythewomantoUpton，which，hesaid，wasthenearesttown，andtherehewouldbesureoffurnishingherwithallmannerofconveniences。Joneshavingreceivedhisdirectiontotheplace，tookhisleaveoftheManoftheHill，and，desiringhimtodirectPartridgethesameway，returnedhastilytothewood。
Ourheroe，athisdeparturetomakethisenquiryofhisfriend，hadconsidered，thatastheruffian’shandsweretiedbehindhim，hewasincapableofexecutinganywickedpurposesonthepoorwoman。
Besides，heknewheshouldnotbebeyondthereachofhervoice，andcouldreturnsoonenoughtopreventanymischief。Hehadmoreoverdeclaredtothevillain，thatifheattemptedtheleastinsult，hewouldbehimselfimmediatelytheexecutionerofvengeanceonhim。
ButJonesunluckilyforgot，thatthoughthehandsofNorthertonweretied，hislegswereatliberty；nordidhelaytheleastinjunctionontheprisonerthatheshouldnotmakewhatuseofthesehepleased。
Northertontherefore，havinggivennoparoleofthatkind，thoughthemightwithoutanybreachofhonourdepart；notbeingobliged，asheimagined，byanyrules，towaitforaformaldischarge。Hethereforetookuphislegs，whichwereatliberty，andwalkedoffthroughthewood，whichfavouredhisretreat；nordidthewoman，whoseeyeswereperhapsratherturnedtowardherdeliverer，oncethinkofhisescape，orgiveherselfanyconcernortroubletopreventit。
Jonestherefore，athisreturn，foundthewomanalone。HewouldhavespentsometimeinsearchingforNortherton，butshewouldnotpermithim；earnestlyentreatingthathewouldaccompanyhertothetownwhithertheyhadbeendirected。\"Astothefellow’sescape，\"saidshe，\"itgivesmenouneasiness；forphilosophyandChristianitybothpreachupforgivenessofinjuries。Butforyou，sir，IamconcernedatthetroubleIgiveyou；nay，indeed，mynakednessmaywellmakemeashamedtolookyouintheface；andifitwasnotforthesakeofyourprotection，Ishouldwishtogoalone。\"
Jonesofferedherhiscoat；but，Iknownotforwhatreason，sheabsolutelyrefusedthemostearnestsolicitationstoacceptit。Hethenbeggedhertoforgetboththecausesofherconfusion。\"Withregardtotheformer，\"sayshe，\"Ihavedonenomorethanmydutyinprotectingyou；andasforthelatter，Iwillentirelyremoveit，bywalkingbeforeyoualltheway；forIwouldnothavemyeyesoffendyou，andIcouldnotanswerformypowerofresistingtheattractivecharmsofsomuchbeauty。\"
ThusourheroeandtheredeemedladywalkedinthesamemannerasOrpheusandEurydicemarchedheretofore；butthoughIcannotbelievethatJoneswasdesignedlytemptedbyhisfaironetolookbehindhim，yetasshefrequentlywantedhisassistancehelpheroverstiles，andhadbesidesmanytripsandotheraccidents，hewasoftenobligedtoturnabout。However，hehadbetterfortunethanwhatattendedpoorOrpheus，forhebroughthiscompanion，orratherfollower，safeintothefamoustownofUpton。
Chapter3
ThearrivalofMr。Joneswithhisladyatinn；withaveryfulldescriptionofthebattleofUptonThoughthereader，wedoubtnot，isveryeagertoknowwhothisladywas，andhowshefellintothehandsofMr。Northerton，wemustbeghimtosuspendhiscuriosityforashorttime，asweareobliged，forsomeverygoodreasonswhichhereafterperhapshemayguess，todelayhissatisfactionalittlelonger。
Mr。Jonesandhisfaircompanionnosoonerenteredthetown，thantheywentdirectlytothatinnwhichintheireyespresentedthefairestappearancetothestreet。HereJones，havingorderedaservanttoshowaroomabovestairs，wasascending，whenthedishevelledfair，hastilyfollowing，waslaidholdonbythemasterofthehouse，whocried，\"Heyday，whereisthatbeggarwenchgoing？Staybelowstairs，desireyou。\"ButJonesatthatinstantthunderedfromabove，\"Lettheladycomeup，\"insoauthoritativeavoice，thatthegoodmaninstantlywithdrewhishands，andtheladymadebestofherwaytothechamber。
HereJoneswishedherjoyofhersafearrival，andthendeparted，inorder，ashepromised，tosendthelandladyupwithsomecloaths。
Thepoorwomanthankedhimheartilyforhiskindness，andsaid，shehopedsheshouldseehimagainsoon，tothankhimathousandtimesmore。Duringthisshortconversation，shecoveredherwhitebosomaswellasshecouldpossiblywithherarms；forJonescouldnotavoidstealingaslypeeportwo，thoughhetookallimaginablecaretoavoidgivinganyoffence。
Ourtravellershadhappenedtotakeuptheirresidenceatahouseofexceedinggoodrepute，whitherIrishladiesofstrictvirtue，andmanynorthernlassesofthesamepredicament，wereaccustomedtoresortintheirwaytoBath。Thelandladythereforewouldbynomeanshaveadmittedanyconversationofadisreputablekindtopassunderherroof。Indeed，sofoulandcontagiousareallsuchproceedings，thattheycontaminatetheveryinnocentsceneswheretheyarecommitted，andgivethenameofabadhouse，orahouseofillrepute，toallthosewheretheyaresufferedtobecarriedon。
NotthatIwouldintimatethatsuchstrictchastityaswaspreservedinthetempleofVestacanpossiblybemaintainedatapublicinn。
Mygoodlandladydidnothopeforsuchablessing，norwouldanyoftheladiesIhavespokenof，orindeedanyothersofthemostrigidnote，haveexpectedorinsistedonanysuchthing。Buttoexcludeallvulgarconcubinage，andtodriveallwhoresinragsfromwithinthewalls，iswithinthepowerofeveryone。Thismylandladyverystrictlyadherredto，andthishervirtuousguests，whodidnottravelinrags，wouldveryreasonablyhaveexpectedofher。
NowitrequirednoveryblameabledegreeofsuspiciontoimaginethatMr。Jonesandhisraggedcompanionhadcertainpurposesintheirintention，which，thoughtoleratedinsomeChristiancountries，connivedatinothers，andpractisedinall，arehoweverasexpresslyforbiddenasmurder，oranyotherhorridvice，bythatreligionwhichisuniversallybelievedinthosecountries。Thelandlady，therefore，hadnosoonerreceivedanintimationoftheentranceoftheabove-saidpersonsthanshebegantomeditatethemostexpeditiousmeansfortheirexpulsion。Inordertothis，shehadprovidedherselfwithalonganddeadlyinstrument，withwhich，intimesofpeace，thechambermaidwaswonttodemolishthelaboursoftheindustriousspider。Invulgarphrase，shehadtakenupthebroomstick，andwasjustabouttosallyfromthekitchen，whenJonesaccostedherwithademandofagownandothervestments，tocoverthehalf-nakedwomanupstairs。
Nothingcanbemoreprovokingtothehumantemper，normoredangeroustothatcardinalvirtue，patience，thansolicitationsofextraordinaryofficesofkindnessonbehalfofthoseverypersonswithwhomwearehighlyincensed。ForthisreasonShakespearhathartfullyintroducedhisDesdemonasolicitingfavoursforCassioofherhusband，asthemeansofinflaming，notonlyhisjealousy，buthisrage，tothehighestpitchofmadness；andwefindtheunfortunateMoorlessabletocommandhispassiononthisoccasion，thanevenwhenhebeheldhisvaluedpresenttohiswifeinthehandsofhissupposedrival。Infact，weregardtheseeffortsasinsultsonourunderstanding，andtosuchtheprideofmanisverydifficultlybroughttosubmit。
Mylandlady，thoughaverygood-temperedwoman，had，Isuppose，someofthisprideinhercomposition，forJoneshadscarceendedhisrequest，whenshefelluponhimwithacertainweapon，which，thoughitbeneitherlong，norsharp，norhard，norindeedthreatensfromitsappearancewitheitherdeathorwound，hathbeenhoweverheldingreatdreadandabhorrencebymanywisemen-nay，bymanybraveones；
insomuch，thatsomewhohavedaredtolookintothemouthofaloadedcannon，havenotdaredtolookintoamouthwherethisweaponwasbrandished；andratherthanrunthehazardofitsexecution，havecontentedthemselveswithmakingamostpitifulandsneakingfigureintheeyesofalltheiracquaintance。
Toconfessthetruth，IamafraidMr。Joneswasoneofthese；forthoughhewasattackedandviolentlybelabouredwiththeaforesaidweapon，hecouldnotbeprovokedtomakeanyresistance；butinamostcowardlymannerapplied，withmanyentreaties，tohisantagonisttodesistfrompursuingherblows；inplainEnglish，heonlybeggedherwiththeutmostearnestnesstohearhim；butbeforehecouldobtainhisrequest，mylandlordhimselfenteredintothefray，andembracedthatsideofthecausewhichseemedtostandverylittleinneedofassistance。
Thereareasortofheroeswhoaresupposedtobedeterminedintheirchusingoravoidingaconflictbythecharacterandbehaviourofthepersonwhomtheyaretoengage。Thesearesaidtoknowtheirmen，andJones，Ibelieve，knewhiswoman；forthoughhehadbeensosubmissivetoher，hewasnosoonerattackedbyherhusband，thanhedemonstratedanimmediatespiritofresentment，andenjoinedhimsilenceunderaveryseverepenalty；nolessthanthat，Ithink，ofbeingconvertedintofuelforhisownfire。
Thehusband，withgreatindignation，butwithamixtureofpity，answered，\"Youmustprayfirsttobemadeable。IbelieveIamabettermanthanyourself；ay，everyway，thatIam；\"andpresentlyproceededtodischargehalf-a-dozenwhoresattheladyabovestairs，thelastofwhichhadscarceissuedfromhislips，whenaswingingblowfromthecudgelthatJonescarriedinhishandassultedhimovertheshoulders。
Itisaquestionwhetherthelandlordorthelandladywasthemostexpeditiousinreturningthisblow。Mylandlord，whosehandswereempty，felltowithhisfist，andthegoodwife，upliftingherbroomandaimingattheheadofJones，hadprobablyputanimmediateendtothefray，andtoJoneslikewise，hadnotthedescentofthisbroombeenprevented-notbythemiraculousinterventionofanyheathendeity，butbyaverynaturalthoughfortunateaccident，viz。，bythearrivalofPartridge；whoenteredthehouseatthatinstantforfearhadcausedhimtoruneverystepfromthehill，andwho，seeingthedangerwhichthreatenedhismasterorcompanionwhichyouchusetocallhim，preventedsosadacatastrophe，bycatchingholdofthelandlady’sarm，asitwasbrandishedaloftintheair。
Thelandladysoonperceivedtheimpedimentwhichpreventedherblow；
andbeingunabletorescueherarmfromthehandsofPartridge，sheletfallthebroom；andthenleavingJonestothedisciplineofherhusband，shefellwiththeutmostfuryonthatpoorfellow，whohadalreadygivensomeintimationofhimself，bycrying，\"Zounds！doyouintendtokillmyfriend？\"
Partridge，thoughnotmuchaddictedtobattle，wouldnothoweverstandstillwhenhisfriendwasattacked；norwashemuchdispleasedwiththatpartofthecombatwhichfelltohisshare；hethereforereturnedmylandlady’sblowsassoonashereceivedthem:andnowthefightwasobstinatelymaintainedonallparts，anditseemeddoubtfultowhichsideFortunewouldincline，whenthenakedlady，whohadlistenedatthetopofthestairstothedialoguewhichprecededtheengagement，descendedsuddenlyfromabove，andwithoutweighingtheunfairinequalityoftwotoone，felluponthepoorwomanwhowasboxingwithPartridge；nordidthatgreatchampiondesist，butratherredoubledhisfury，whenhefoundfreshsuccourswerearrivedtohisassistance。
VictorymustnowhavefallentothesideofthetravellersforthebravesttroopsmustyieldtonumbershadnotSusanthechambermaidcomeluckilytosupporthermistress。ThisSusanwasastwo-handedawenchaccordingtothephraseasanyinthecountry，andwould，Ibelieve，havebeatthefamedThalestrisherself，oranyofhersubjectAmazons；forherformwasrobustandman-like，andeverywaymadeforsuchencounters。Asherhandsandarmswereformedtogiveblowswithgreatmischieftoanenemy，sowasherfaceaswellcontrivedtoreceiveblowswithoutanygreatinjurytoherself，hernosebeingalreadyflattoherface；herlipsweresolarge，thatnoswellingcouldbeperceivedinthem，andmoreovertheyweresohard，thatafistcouldhardlymakeanyimpressiononthem。Lastly，hercheekbonesstoodout，asifnaturehadintendedthemfortwobastionstodefendhereyesinthoseencountersforwhichsheseemedsowellcalculated，andtowhichshewasmostwonderfullywellinclined。
Thisfaircreatureenteringthefieldofbattle，immediatelyfiledtothatwingwherehermistressmaintainedsounequalafightwithoneofeithersex。HereshepresentlychallengedPartridgetosinglecombat。Heacceptedthechallenge，andamostdesperatefightbeganbeganbetweenthem。
Nowthedogsofwarbeingletloose，begantolicktheirbloodylips；nowVictory，withgoldenwings，hunghoveringintheair；nowFortune，takingherscalesfromhershelf，begantoweighthefatesofTomJones，hisfemalecompanion，andPartridge，againstthelandlord，hiswife，andmaid；allwhichhunginexactbalancebeforeher；whenagood-naturedaccidentputsuddenlyanendtothebloodyfray，withwhichhalfofthecombatantshadalreadysufficientlyfeasted。Thisaccidentwasthearrivalofacoachandfour；uponwhichmylandlordandlandladyimmediatelydesistedfromfighting，andattheirentreatyobtainedthesamefavouroftheirantagonists；butSusanwasnotsokindtoPartridge；forthatAmazonianfairhavingoverthrownandbestridherenemy，wasnowcuffinghimlustilywithbothherhands，withoutanyregardtohisrequestofacessationofarms，ortothoseloudexclamationsofmurderwhichheroaredforth。
Nosooner，however，hadJonesquittedthelandlord，thanheflewtotherescueofhisdefeatedcompanion，fromwhomhewithmuchdifficultydrewofftheenragedchambermaid:butPartridgewasnotimmediatelysensibleofhisdeliverance，forhestilllayflatonthefloor，guardinghisfacewithhishands；nordidheceaseroaringtillJoneshadforcedhimtolookup，andtoperceivethatthebattlewasatanend。
Thelandlord，whohadnovisiblehurt，andthelandlady，hidingherwell-scratchedfacewithherhandkerchief，ranbothhastilytothedoortoattendthecoach，fromwhichayoungladyandhermaidnowalighted。ThesethelandladypresentlyusheredintothatroomwhereMr。Joneshadatfirstdepositedhisfairprize，asitwasthebestapartmentinthehouse。Hithertheywereobligedtopassthroughthefieldofbattle，whichtheydidwiththeutmosthaste，coveringtheirfaceswiththeirhandkerchiefs，asdesiroustoavoidthenoticeofanyone。Indeedtheircautionwasquiteunnecessary；forthepoorunfortunateHelen，thefatalcauseofallthebloodshed，wasentirelytakenupinendeavouringtoconcealherownface，andJoneswasnolessoccupiedinrescuingPartridgefromthefuryofSusan；
whichbeinghappilyeffected，thepoorfellowimmediatelydepartedtothepumptowashhisface，andtostopthatbloodytorrentwhichSusanhadplentifullyseta-flowingfromhisnostrils。