\"WhatifIdo?Itdoesn\'tpreventmefromrealizingthetruth。I
can\'tmarryyou,andyouwillthankmeforsayingsosomeday。”
\"Youhadthatbadheadacheyesterday——Allright\"——forshehadexclaimedindignantly:\"Iseeit\'smuchmorethanheadaches。Butgivemeamoment\'stime。”Heclosedhiseyes。\"YoumustexcusemeifIsaystupidthings,butmybrainhasgonetopieces。Partofitlivesthreeminutesback,whenIwassurethatyoulovedme,andtheotherpart——Ifinditdifficult——Iamlikelytosaythewrongthing。”
Itstruckherthathewasnotbehavingsobadly,andherirritationincreased。Sheagaindesiredastruggle,notadiscussion。Tobringonthecrisis,shesaid:
\"Therearedayswhenoneseesclearly,andthisisoneofthem。
Thingsmustcometoabreaking-pointsometime,andithappenstobeto-day。Ifyouwanttoknow,quitealittlethingdecidedmetospeaktoyou——whenyouwouldn\'tplaytenniswithFreddy。”
\"Ineverdoplaytennis,\"saidCecil,painfullybewildered;\"I
nevercouldplay。Idon\'tunderstandawordyousay。”
\"Youcanplaywellenoughtomakeupafour。Ithoughtitabominablyselfishofyou。”
\"No,Ican\'t——well,nevermindthetennis。Whycouldn\'tyou——couldn\'tyouhavewarnedmeifyoufeltanythingwrong?Youtalkedofourweddingatlunch——atleast,youletmetalk。”
\"Iknewyouwouldn\'tunderstand,\"saidLucyquitecrossly。\"I
mighthaveknowntherewouldhavebeenthesedreadfulexplanations。Ofcourse,itisn\'tthetennis——thatwasonlythelaststrawtoallIhavebeenfeelingforweeks。SurelyitwasbetternottospeakuntilIfeltcertain。”Shedevelopedthisposition。\"OftenbeforeIhavewonderedifIwasfittedforyourwife——forinstance,inLondon;andareyoufittedtobemyhusband?Idon\'tthinkso。Youdon\'tlikeFreddy,normymother。
Therewasalwaysalotagainstourengagement,Cecil,butallourrelationsseemedpleased,andwemetsooften,anditwasnogoodmentioningituntil——well,untilallthingscametoapoint。Theyhaveto-day。Iseeclearly。Imustspeak。That\'sall。”
\"Icannotthinkyouwereright,\"saidCecilgently。\"Icannottellwhy,butthoughallthatyousaysoundstrue,Ifeelthatyouarenottreatingmefairly。It\'salltoohorrible。”
\"What\'sthegoodofascene?\"
\"Nogood。ButsurelyIhavearighttohearalittlemore。”
Heputdownhisglassandopenedthewindow。Fromwheresheknelt,janglingherkeys,shecouldseeaslitofdarkness,and,peeringintoit,asifitwouldtellhimthat\"littlemore,\"hislong,thoughtfulface。
\"Don\'topenthewindow;andyou\'dbetterdrawthecurtain,too;
Freddyoranyonemightbeoutside。”Heobeyed。\"Ireallythinkwehadbettergotobed,ifyoudon\'tmind。Ishallonlysaythingsthatwillmakemeunhappyafterwards。Asyousayitisalltoohorrible,anditisnogoodtalking。”
ButtoCecil,nowthathewasabouttoloseher,sheseemedeachmomentmoredesirable。Helookedather,insteadofthroughher,forthefirsttimesincetheywereengaged。FromaLeonardoshehadbecomealivingwoman,withmysteriesandforcesofherown,withqualitiesthateveneludedart。Hisbrainrecoveredfromtheshock,and,inaburstofgenuinedevotion,hecried:\"ButIloveyou,andIdidthinkyoulovedme!\"
\"Ididnot,\"shesaid。\"IthoughtIdidatfirst。Iamsorry,andoughttohaverefusedyouthislasttime,too。”
Hebegantowalkupanddowntheroom,andshegrewmoreandmorevexedathisdignifiedbehaviour。Shehadcountedonhisbeingpetty。Itwouldhavemadethingseasierforher。Byacruelironyshewasdrawingoutallthatwasfinestinhisdisposition。
\"Youdon\'tloveme,evidently。Idaresayyouarerightnotto。
ButitwouldhurtalittlelessifIknewwhy。”
\"Because\"——aphrasecametoher,andsheacceptedit——\"you\'rethesortwhocan\'tknowanyoneintimately。”
Ahorrifiedlookcameintohiseyes。
\"Idon\'tmeanexactlythat。Butyouwillquestionme,thoughI
begyounotto,andImustsaysomething。Itisthat,moreorless。Whenwewereonlyacquaintances,youletmebemyself,butnowyou\'realwaysprotectingme。”Hervoiceswelled。\"Iwon\'tbeprotected。Iwillchooseformyselfwhatisladylikeandright。
Toshieldmeisaninsult。Can\'tIbetrustedtofacethetruthbutImustgetitsecond-handthroughyou?Awoman\'splace!Youdespisemymother——Iknowyoudo——becauseshe\'sconventionalandbothersoverpuddings;but,ohgoodness!\"——sherosetoherfeet——\"conventional,Cecil,you\'rethat,foryoumayunderstandbeautifulthings,butyoudon\'tknowhowtousethem;andyouwrapyourselfupinartandbooksandmusic,andwouldtrytowrapupme。Iwon\'tbestifled,notbythemostgloriousmusic,forpeoplearemoreglorious,andyouhidethemfromme。That\'swhyIbreakoffmyengagement。Youwereallrightaslongasyoukepttothings,butwhenyoucametopeople——\"Shestopped。
Therewasapause。ThenCecilsaidwithgreatemotion:
\"Itistrue。”
\"Trueonthewhole,\"shecorrected,fullofsomevagueshame。
\"True,everyword。Itisarevelation。Itis——I。”
\"Anyhow,thosearemyreasonsfornotbeingyourwife。”
Herepeated:\"\'Thesortthatcanknownooneintimately。\'Itistrue。Ifelltopiecestheveryfirstdaywewereengaged。I
behavedlikeacadtoBeebeandtoyourbrother。YouareevengreaterthanIthought。”Shewithdrewastep。\"I\'mnotgoingtoworryyou。Youarefartoogoodtome。Ishallneverforgetyourinsight;and,dear,Ionlyblameyouforthis:youmighthavewarnedmeintheearlystages,beforeyoufeltyouwouldn\'tmarryme,andsohavegivenmeachancetoimprove。Ihaveneverknownyoutillthisevening。Ihavejustusedyouasapegformysillynotionsofwhatawomanshouldbe。Butthiseveningyouareadifferentperson:newthoughts——evenanewvoice——\"
\"Whatdoyoumeanbyanewvoice?\"sheasked,seizedwithincontrollableanger。
\"Imeanthatanewpersonseemsspeakingthroughyou,\"saidhe。
Thenshelostherbalance。Shecried:\"IfyouthinkIaminlovewithsomeoneelse,youareverymuchmistaken。”
\"OfcourseIdon\'tthinkthat。Youarenotthatkind,Lucy。”
\"Oh,yes,youdothinkit。It\'syouroldidea,theideathathaskeptEuropeback——Imeantheideathatwomenarealwaysthinkingofmen。Ifagirlbreaksoffherengagement,everyonesays:\'Oh,shehadsomeoneelseinhermind;shehopestogetsomeoneelse。\'It\'sdisgusting,brutal!Asifagirlcan\'tbreakitoffforthesakeoffreedom。”
Heansweredreverently:\"Imayhavesaidthatinthepast。I
shallneversayitagain。Youhavetaughtmebetter。”
Shebegantoredden,andpretendedtoexaminethewindowsagain。
\"Ofcourse,thereisnoquestionof\'someoneelse\'inthis,no\'jilting\'oranysuchnauseousstupidity。Ibegyourpardonmosthumblyifmywordssuggestedthattherewas。IonlymeantthattherewasaforceinyouthatIhadn\'tknownofuptillnow。”
\"Allright,Cecil,thatwilldo。Don\'tapologizetome。Itwasmymistake。”
\"Itisaquestionbetweenideals,yoursandmine——pureabstractideals,andyoursarethenobler。Iwasboundupintheoldviciousnotions,andallthetimeyouweresplendidandnew。”Hisvoicebroke。\"Imustactuallythankyouforwhatyouhavedone——
forshowingmewhatIreallyam。Solemnly,Ithankyouforshowingmeatruewoman。Willyoushakehands?\"
\"OfcourseIwill,\"saidLucy,twistingupherotherhandinthecurtains。\"Good-night,Cecil。Good-bye。That\'sallright。I\'msorryaboutit。Thankyouverymuchforyourgentleness。”
\"Letmelightyourcandle,shallI?\"
Theywentintothehall。
\"Thankyou。Good-nightagain。Godblessyou,Lucy!\"
\"Good-bye,Cecil。”
Shewatchedhimstealup-stairs,whiletheshadowsfromthreebanisterspassedoverherfacelikethebeatofwings。Onthelandinghepausedstronginhisrenunciation,andgaveheralookofmemorablebeauty。Forallhisculture,Cecilwasanasceticatheart,andnothinginhislovebecamehimliketheleavingofit。
Shecouldnevermarry。Inthetumultofhersoul,thatstoodfirm。Cecilbelievedinher;shemustsomedaybelieveinherself。Shemustbeoneofthewomenwhomshehadpraisedsoeloquently,whocareforlibertyandnotformen;shemustforgetthatGeorgelovedher,thatGeorgehadbeenthinkingthroughherandgainedherthishonourablerelease,thatGeorgehadgoneawayinto——whatwasit?——thedarkness。
Sheputoutthelamp。
Itdidnotdotothink,nor,forthematterofthattofeel。Shegaveuptryingtounderstandherself,andthevastarmiesofthebenighted,whofollowneithertheheartnorthebrain,andmarchtotheirdestinybycatch-words。Thearmiesarefullofpleasantandpiousfolk。Buttheyhaveyieldedtotheonlyenemythatmatters——theenemywithin。Theyhavesinnedagainstpassionandtruth,andvainwillbetheirstrifeaftervirtue。Astheyearspass,theyarecensured。Theirpleasantryandtheirpietyshowcracks,theirwitbecomescynicism,theirunselfishnesshypocrisy;theyfeelandproducediscomfortwherevertheygo。
TheyhavesinnedagainstErosandagainstPallasAthene,andnotbyanyheavenlyintervention,butbytheordinarycourseofnature,thoseallieddeitieswillbeavenged。
LucyenteredthisarmywhenshepretendedtoGeorgethatshedidnotlovehim,andpretendedtoCecilthatshelovednoone。Thenightreceivedher,asithadreceivedMissBartlettthirtyyearsbefore。
ChapterXVIII:LyingtoMr。Beebe,Mrs。Honeychurch,Freddy,andTheServantsWindyCornerlay,notonthesummitoftheridge,butafewhundredfeetdownthesouthernslope,atthespringingofoneofthegreatbuttressesthatsupportedthehill。Oneithersideofitwasashallowravine,filledwithfernsandpine-trees,anddowntheravineontheleftranthehighwayintotheWeald。
WheneverMr。Beebecrossedtheridgeandcaughtsightofthesenobledispositionsoftheearth,and,poisedinthemiddleofthem,WindyCorner,——helaughed。Thesituationwassoglorious,thehousesocommonplace,nottosayimpertinent。ThelateMr。
Honeychurchhadaffectedthecube,becauseitgavehimthemostaccommodationforhismoney,andtheonlyadditionmadebyhiswidowhadbeenasmallturret,shapedlikearhinoceros\'horn,whereshecouldsitinwetweatherandwatchthecartsgoingupanddowntheroad。Soimpertinent——andyetthehouse\"did,\"foritwasthehomeofpeoplewholovedtheirsurroundingshonestly。
Otherhousesintheneighborhoodhadbeenbuiltbyexpensivearchitects,overotherstheirinmateshadfidgetedsedulously,yetallthesesuggestedtheaccidental,thetemporary;whileWindyCornerseemedasinevitableasanuglinessofNature\'sowncreation。Onemightlaughatthehouse,butonenevershuddered。
Mr。BeebewasbicyclingoverthisMondayafternoonwithapieceofgossip。HehadheardfromtheMissAlans。Theseadmirableladies,sincetheycouldnotgotoCissieVilla,hadchangedtheirplans。TheyweregoingtoGreeceinstead。
\"SinceFlorencedidmypoorsistersomuchgood,\"wroteMissCatharine,\"wedonotseewhyweshouldnottryAthensthiswinter。Ofcourse,Athensisaplunge,andthedoctorhasorderedherspecialdigestivebread;but,afterall,wecantakethatwithus,anditisonlygettingfirstintoasteamerandthenintoatrain。ButisthereanEnglishChurch?\"Andtheletterwentontosay:\"IdonotexpectweshallgoanyfurtherthanAthens,butifyouknewofareallycomfortablepensionatConstantinople,weshouldbesograteful。”
Lucywouldenjoythisletter,andthesmilewithwhichMr。BeebegreetedWindyCornerwaspartlyforher。Shewouldseethefunofit,andsomeofitsbeauty,forshemustseesomebeauty。Thoughshewashopelessaboutpictures,andthoughshedressedsounevenly——oh,thatcerisefrockyesterdayatchurch!——shemustseesomebeautyinlife,orshecouldnotplaythepianoasshedid。Hehadatheorythatmusiciansareincrediblycomplex,andknowfarlessthanotherartistswhattheywantandwhattheyare;thattheypuzzlethemselvesaswellastheirfriends;thattheirpsychologyisamoderndevelopment,andhasnotyetbeenunderstood。Thistheory,hadheknownit,hadpossiblyjustbeenillustratedbyfacts。Ignorantoftheeventsofyesterdayhewasonlyridingovertogetsometea,toseehisniece,andtoobservewhetherMissHoneychurchsawanythingbeautifulinthedesireoftwooldladiestovisitAthens。
AcarriagewasdrawnupoutsideWindyCorner,andjustashecaughtsightofthehouseitstarted,bowledupthedrive,andstoppedabruptlywhenitreachedthemainroad。Thereforeitmustbethehorse,whoalwaysexpectedpeopletowalkupthehillincasetheytiredhim。Thedooropenedobediently,andtwomenemerged,whomMr。BeeberecognizedasCecilandFreddy。Theywereanoddcoupletogodriving;buthesawatrunkbesidethecoachman\'slegs。Cecil,whoworeabowler,mustbegoingaway,whileFreddyacap——wasseeinghimtothestation。Theywalkedrapidly,takingtheshortcuts,andreachedthesummitwhilethecarriagewasstillpursuingthewindingsoftheroad。
Theyshookhandswiththeclergyman,butdidnotspeak。
\"Soyou\'reoffforaminute,Mr。Vyse?\"heasked。
Cecilsaid,\"Yes,\"whileFreddyedgedaway。
\"IwascomingtoshowyouthisdelightfulletterfromthosefriendsofMissHoneychurch。Hequotedfromit。\"Isn\'titwonderful?Isn\'titromance?mostcertainlytheywillgotoConstantinople。Theyaretakeninasnarethatcannotfail。Theywillendbygoingroundtheworld。”
Cecillistenedcivilly,andsaidhewassurethatLucywouldbeamusedandinterested。
\"Isn\'tRomancecapricious!Inevernoticeitinyouyoungpeople;
youdonothingbutplaylawntennis,andsaythatromanceisdead,whiletheMissAlansarestrugglingwithalltheweaponsofproprietyagainsttheterriblething。\'AreallycomfortablepensionatConstantinople!\'Sotheycallitoutofdecency,butintheirheartstheywantapensionwithmagicwindowsopeningonthefoamofperilousseasinfairylandforlorn!NoordinaryviewwillcontenttheMissAlans。TheywantthePensionKeats。”
\"I\'mawfullysorrytointerrupt,Mr。Beebe,\"saidFreddy,\"buthaveyouanymatches?\"
\"Ihave,\"saidCecil,anditdidnotescapeMr。Beebe\'snoticethathespoketotheboymorekindly。
\"YouhavenevermettheseMissAlans,haveyou,Mr。Vyse?\"
\"Never。”
\"Thenyoudon\'tseethewonderofthisGreekvisit。Ihaven\'tbeentoGreecemyself,anddon\'tmeantogo,andIcan\'timagineanyofmyfriendsgoing。Itisaltogethertoobigforourlittlelot。Don\'tyouthinkso?Italyisjustaboutasmuchaswecanmanage。Italyisheroic,butGreeceisgodlikeordevilish——Iamnotsurewhich,andineithercaseabsolutelyoutofoursuburbanfocus。Allright,Freddy——Iamnotbeingclever,uponmywordI
amnot——Itooktheideafromanotherfellow;andgivemethosematcheswhenyou\'vedonewiththem。”Helitacigarette,andwentontalkingtothetwoyoungmen。\"Iwassaying,ifourpoorlittleCockneylivesmusthaveabackground,letitbeItalian。
Bigenoughinallconscience。TheceilingoftheSistineChapelforme。TherethecontrastisjustasmuchasIcanrealize。ButnottheParthenon,notthefriezeofPhidiasatanyprice;andherecomesthevictoria。”
\"You\'requiteright,\"saidCecil。\"Greeceisnotforourlittlelot\";andhegotin。Freddyfollowed,noddingtotheclergyman,whomhetrustednottobepullingone\'sleg,really。Andbeforetheyhadgoneadozenyardshejumpedout,andcamerunningbackforVyse\'smatch-box,whichhadnotbeenreturned。Ashetookit,hesaid:\"I\'msogladyouonlytalkedaboutbooks。Cecil\'shardhit。Lucywon\'tmarryhim。Ifyou\'dgoneonabouther,asyoudidaboutthem,hemighthavebrokendown。”
\"Butwhen——\"
\"Latelastnight。Imustgo。”
\"Perhapstheywon\'twantmedownthere。”
\"No——goon。Good-bye。”
\"Thankgoodness!\"exclaimedMr。Beebetohimself,andstruckthesaddleofhisbicycleapprovingly,\"Itwastheonefoolishthingsheeverdid。Oh,whatagloriousriddance!\"And,afteralittlethought,henegotiatedtheslopeintoWindyCorner,lightofheart。Thehousewasagainasitoughttobe——cutoffforeverfromCecil\'spretentiousworld。
HewouldfindMissMinniedowninthegarden。
Inthedrawing-roomLucywastinklingataMozartSonata。Hehesitatedamoment,butwentdownthegardenasrequested。Therehefoundamournfulcompany。Itwasablusteringday,andthewindhadtakenandbrokenthedahlias。Mrs。Honeychurch,wholookedcross,wastyingthemup,whileMissBartlett,unsuitablydressed,impededherwithoffersofassistance。AtalittledistancestoodMinnieandthe\"garden-child,\"aminuteimportation,eachholdingeitherendofalongpieceofbass。
\"Oh,howdoyoudo,Mr。Beebe?Graciouswhatamesseverythingis!Lookatmyscarletpompons,andthewindblowingyourskirtsabout,andthegroundsohardthatnotapropwillstickin,andthenthecarriagehavingtogoout,whenIhadcountedonhavingPowell,who——giveeveryonetheirdue——doestieupdahliasproperly。”
EvidentlyMrs。Honeychurchwasshattered。
\"Howdoyoudo?\"saidMissBartlett,withameaningglance,asthoughconveyingthatmorethandahliashadbeenbrokenoffbytheautumngales。
\"Here,Lennie,thebass,\"criedMrs。Honeychurch。Thegarden-child,whodidnotknowwhatbasswas,stoodrootedtothepathwithhorror。Minnieslippedtoheruncleandwhisperedthateveryonewasverydisagreeableto-day,andthatitwasnotherfaultifdahlia-stringswouldtearlongwaysinsteadofacross。
\"Comeforawalkwithme,\"hetoldher。\"Youhaveworriedthemasmuchastheycanstand。Mrs。Honeychurch,Ionlycalledinaimlessly。IshalltakeheruptoteaattheBeehiveTavern,ifI
may。”
\"Oh,mustyou?Yesdo——Notthescissors,thankyou,Charlotte,whenbothmyhandsarefullalready——I\'mperfectlycertainthattheorangecactuswillgobeforeIcangettoit。”
Mr。Beebe,whowasanadeptatrelievingsituations,invitedMissBartletttoaccompanythemtothismildfestivity。
\"Yes,Charlotte,Idon\'twantyou——dogo;there\'snothingtostopaboutfor,eitherinthehouseoroutofit。”
MissBartlettsaidthatherdutylayinthedahliabed,butwhenshehadexasperatedeveryone,exceptMinnie,byarefusal,sheturnedroundandexasperatedMinniebyanacceptance。Astheywalkedupthegarden,theorangecactusfell,andMr。Beebe\'s
\"They\'reangrywithMissHoneychurchbecauseshewaslateforbreakfast,\"whisperedMinnie,\"andFloydhasgone,andMr。Vysehasgone,andFreddywon\'tplaywithme。Infact,UncleArthur,thehouseisnotATALLwhatitwasyesterday。”
\"Don\'tbeaprig,\"saidherUncleArthur。\"Goandputonyourboots。”
Hesteppedintothedrawing-room,whereLucywasstillattentivelypursuingtheSonatasofMozart。Shestoppedwhenheentered。
\"Howdoyoudo?MissBartlettandMinniearecomingwithmetoteaattheBeehive。Wouldyoucometoo?\"
\"Idon\'tthinkIwill,thankyou。”
\"No,Ididn\'tsupposeyouwouldcaretomuch。”
Lucyturnedtothepianoandstruckafewchords。
\"HowdelicatethoseSonatasare!\"saidMr。Beebe,thoughatthebottomofhisheart,hethoughtthemsillylittlethings。
LucypassedintoSchumann。
\"MissHoneychurch!\"
\"Yes。”
\"Imetthemonthehill。Yourbrothertoldme。”
\"Ohhedid?\"Shesoundedannoyed。Mr。Beebefelthurt,forhehadthoughtthatshewouldlikehimtobetold。
\"Ineedn\'tsaythatitwillgonofurther。”
\"Mother,Charlotte,Cecil,Freddy,you,\"saidLucy,playinganoteforeachpersonwhoknew,andthenplayingasixthnote。
\"Ifyou\'llletmesayso,Iamveryglad,andIamcertainthatyouhavedonetherightthing。”
\"SoIhopedotherpeoplewouldthink,buttheydon\'tseemto。”
\"IcouldseethatMissBartlettthoughtitunwise。”
\"Sodoesmother。Mothermindsdreadfully。”
\"Iamverysorryforthat,\"saidMr。Beebewithfeeling。
Mrs。Honeychurch,whohatedallchanges,didmind,butnotnearlyasmuchasherdaughterpretended,andonlyfortheminute。ItwasreallyaruseofLucy\'stojustifyherdespondency——aruseofwhichshewasnotherselfconscious,forshewasmarchinginthearmiesofdarkness。
\"AndFreddyminds。”
\"Still,FreddyneverhititoffwithVysemuch,didhe?I
gatheredthathedislikedtheengagement,andfeltitmightseparatehimfromyou。”
\"Boysaresoodd。”
MinniecouldbeheardarguingwithMissBartlettthroughthefloor。TeaattheBeehiveapparentlyinvolvedacompletechangeofapparel。Mr。BeebesawthatLucy——veryproperly——didnotwishtodiscussheraction,soafterasincereexpressionofsympathy,hesaid,\"IhavehadanabsurdletterfromMissAlan。Thatwasreallywhatbroughtmeover。Ithoughtitmightamuseyouall。”
\"Howdelightful!\"saidLucy,inadullvoice。
Forthesakeofsomethingtodo,hebegantoreadhertheletter。
Afterafewwordshereyesgrewalert,andsoonsheinterruptedhimwith\"Goingabroad?Whendotheystart?\"
\"Nextweek,Igather。”
\"DidFreddysaywhetherhewasdrivingstraightback?\"
\"No,hedidn\'t。”
\"BecauseIdohopehewon\'tgogossiping。”
Soshedidwanttotalkaboutherbrokenengagement。Alwayscomplaisant,heputtheletteraway。Butshe,atonceexclaimedinahighvoice,\"Oh,dotellmemoreabouttheMissAlans!Howperfectlysplendidofthemtogoabroad!\"
\"IwantthemtostartfromVenice,andgoinacargosteamerdowntheIllyriancoast!\"
Shelaughedheartily。\"Oh,delightful!Iwishthey\'dtakeme。”
\"HasItalyfilledyouwiththefeveroftravel?PerhapsGeorgeEmersonisright。Hesaysthat\'ItalyisonlyaneuphuismforFate。\'\"
\"Oh,notItaly,butConstantinople。IhavealwayslongedtogotoConstantinople。ConstantinopleispracticallyAsia,isn\'tit?\"
Mr。BeeberemindedherthatConstantinoplewasstillunlikely,andthattheMissAlansonlyaimedatAthens,\"withDelphi,perhaps,iftheroadsaresafe。”Butthismadenodifferencetoherenthusiasm。ShehadalwayslongedtogotoGreeceevenmore,itseemed。Hesaw,tohissurprise,thatshewasapparentlyserious。
\"Ididn\'trealizethatyouandtheMissAlanswerestillsuchfriends,afterCissieVilla。”
\"Oh,that\'snothing;IassureyouCissieVilla\'snothingtome;I
wouldgiveanythingtogowiththem。”
\"Wouldyourmotherspareyouagainsosoon?Youhavescarcelybeenhomethreemonths。”
\"SheMUSTspareme!\"criedLucy,ingrowingexcitement。\"IsimplyMUSTgoaway。Ihaveto。”Sheranherfingershystericallythroughherhair。\"Don\'tyouseethatIHAVEtogoaway?Ididn\'trealizeatthetime——andofcourseIwanttoseeConstantinoplesoparticularly。”
\"Youmeanthatsinceyouhavebrokenoffyourengagementyoufeel——\"
\"Yes,yes。Iknewyou\'dunderstand。”
Mr。Beebedidnotquiteunderstand。WhycouldnotMissHoneychurchreposeinthebosomofherfamily?Cecilhadevidentlytakenupthedignifiedline,andwasnotgoingtoannoyher。Thenitstruckhimthatherfamilyitselfmightbeannoying。Hehintedthistoher,andsheacceptedthehinteagerly。
\"Yes,ofcourse;togotoConstantinopleuntiltheyareusedtotheideaandeverythinghascalmeddown。”
\"Iamafraidithasbeenabothersomebusiness,\"hesaidgently。
\"No,notatall。Cecilwasverykindindeed;only——Ihadbettertellyouthewholetruth,sinceyouhaveheardalittle——itwasthatheissomasterful。Ifoundthathewouldn\'tletmegomyownway。HewouldimprovemeinplaceswhereIcan\'tbeimproved。
Cecilwon\'tletawomandecideforherself——infact,hedaren\'t。
WhatnonsenseIdotalk!butthatisthekindofthing。”
\"ItiswhatIgatheredfrommyownobservationofMr。Vyse;itiswhatIgatherfromallthatIhaveknownofyou。Idosympathizeandagreemostprofoundly。Iagreesomuchthatyoumustletmemakeonelittlecriticism:IsitworthwhilerushingofftoGreece?\"
\"ButImustgosomewhere!\"shecried。\"Ihavebeenworryingallthemorning,andherecomestheverything。”Shestruckherkneeswithclenchedfists,andrepeated:\"Imust!AndthetimeIshallhavewithmother,andallthemoneyshespentonmelastspring。
Youallthinkmuchtoohighlyofme。Iwishyouweren\'tsokind。”
AtthismomentMissBartlettentered,andhernervousnessincreased。\"Imustgetaway,eversofar。ImustknowmyownmindandwhereIwanttogo。”
\"Comealong;tea,tea,tea,\"saidMr。Beebe,andbustledhisguestsoutofthefront-door。Hehustledthemsoquicklythatheforgothishat。Whenhereturnedforitheheard,tohisreliefandsurprise,thetinklingofaMozartSonata。
\"Sheisplayingagain,\"hesaidtoMissBartlett。
\"Lucycanalwaysplay,\"wastheacidreply。
\"Oneisverythankfulthatshehassucharesource。Sheisevidentlymuchworried,as,ofcourse,sheoughttobe。Iknowallaboutit。Themarriagewassonearthatitmusthavebeenahardstrugglebeforeshecouldwindherselfuptospeak。”
MissBartlettgaveakindofwriggle,andhepreparedforadiscussion。HehadneverfathomedMissBartlett。AshehadputittohimselfatFlorence,\"shemightyetrevealdepthsofstrangeness,ifnotofmeaning。”Butshewassounsympatheticthatshemustbereliable。Heassumedthatmuch,andhehadnohesitationindiscussingLucywithher。Minniewasfortunatelycollectingferns。
Sheopenedthediscussionwith:\"Wehadmuchbetterletthematterdrop。”
\"Iwonder。”
\"ItisofthehighestimportancethatthereshouldbenogossipinSummerStreet。ItwouldbeDEATHtogossipaboutMr。Vyse\'sdismissalatthepresentmoment。”
Mr。Beeberaisedhiseyebrows。Deathisastrongword——surelytoostrong。Therewasnoquestionoftragedy。Hesaid:\"Ofcourse,MissHoneychurchwillmakethefactpublicinherownway,andwhenshechooses。Freddyonlytoldmebecauseheknewshewouldnotmind。”
\"Iknow,\"saidMissBartlettcivilly。\"YetFreddyoughtnottohavetoldevenyou。Onecannotbetoocareful。”
\"Quiteso。”
\"Idoimploreabsolutesecrecy。Achancewordtoachatteringfriend,and——\"
\"Exactly。”Hewasusedtothesenervousoldmaidsandtotheexaggeratedimportancethattheyattachtowords。Arectorlivesinawebofpettysecrets,andconfidencesandwarnings,andthewiserheisthelesshewillregardthem。Hewillchangethesubject,asdidMr。Beebe,sayingcheerfully:\"HaveyouheardfromanyBertolinipeoplelately?IbelieveyoukeepupwithMissLavish。Itisoddhowweofthatpension,whoseemedsuchafortuitouscollection,havebeenworkingintooneanother\'slives。Two,three,four,sixofus——no,eight;IhadforgottentheEmersons——havekeptmoreorlessintouch。WemustreallygivetheSignoraatestimonial。”
And,MissBartlettnotfavouringthescheme,theywalkedupthehillinasilencewhichwasonlybrokenbytherectornamingsomefern。Onthesummittheypaused。Theskyhadgrownwildersincehestoodtherelasthour,givingtothelandatragicgreatnessthatisrareinSurrey。Greycloudswerechargingacrosstissuesofwhite,whichstretchedandshreddedandtoreslowly,untilthroughtheirfinallayerstheregleamedahintofthedisappearingblue。Summerwasretreating。Thewindroared,thetreesgroaned,yetthenoiseseemedinsufficientforthosevastoperationsinheaven。Theweatherwasbreakingup,breaking,broken,anditisasenseofthefitratherthanofthesupernaturalthatequipssuchcriseswiththesalvosofangelicartillery。Mr。Beebe\'seyesrestedonWindyCorner,whereLucysat,practisingMozart。Nosmilecametohislips,and,changingthesubjectagain,hesaid:\"Weshan\'thaverain,butweshallhavedarkness,soletushurryon。Thedarknesslastnightwasappalling。”
TheyreachedtheBeehiveTavernataboutfiveo\'clock。Thatamiablehostelrypossessesaverandah,inwhichtheyoungandtheunwisedodearlylovetosit,whileguestsofmorematureyearsseekapleasantsandedroom,andhaveteaatatablecomfortably。
Mr。BeebesawthatMissBartlettwouldbecoldifshesatout,andthatMinniewouldbedullifshesatin,soheproposedadivisionofforces。Theywouldhandthechildherfoodthroughthewindow。
ThushewasincidentallyenabledtodiscussthefortunesofLucy。
\"Ihavebeenthinking,MissBartlett,\"hesaid,\"and,unlessyouverymuchobject,Iwouldliketoreopenthatdiscussion。”Shebowed。\"Nothingaboutthepast。Iknowlittleandcarelessaboutthat;Iamabsolutelycertainthatitistoyourcousin\'scredit。
Shehasactedloftilyandrightly,anditislikehergentlemodestytosaythatwethinktoohighlyofher。Butthefuture。
Seriously,whatdoyouthinkofthisGreekplan?\"Hepulledouttheletteragain。\"Idon\'tknowwhetheryouoverheard,butshewantstojointheMissAlansintheirmadcareer。It\'sall——I
can\'texplain——it\'swrong。”
MissBartlettreadtheletterinsilence,laiditdown,seemedtohesitate,andthenreaditagain。
\"Ican\'tseethepointofitmyself。”
Tohisastonishment,shereplied:\"ThereIcannotagreewithyou。
InitIspyLucy\'ssalvation。”
\"Really。Now,why?\"
\"ShewantedtoleaveWindyCorner。”
\"Iknow——butitseemssoodd,sounlikeher,so——Iwasgoingtosay——selfish。”
\"Itisnatural,surely——aftersuchpainfulscenes——thatsheshoulddesireachange。”
Here,apparently,wasoneofthosepointsthatthemaleintellectmisses。Mr。Beebeexclaimed:\"Soshesaysherself,andsinceanotherladyagreeswithher,ImustownthatIampartiallyconvinced。Perhapsshemusthaveachange。Ihavenosistersor——
andIdon\'tunderstandthesethings。ButwhyneedshegoasfarasGreece?\"
\"Youmaywellaskthat,\"repliedMissBartlett,whowasevidentlyinterested,andhadalmostdroppedherevasivemanner。\"WhyGreece?Whatisit,Minniedear——jam?WhynotTunbridgeWells?
Oh,Mr。Beebe!IhadalongandmostunsatisfactoryinterviewwithdearLucythismorning。Icannothelpher。Iwillsaynomore。PerhapsIhavealreadysaidtoomuch。Iamnottotalk。I
wantedhertospendsixmonthswithmeatTunbridgeWells,andsherefused。”
Mr。Beebepokedatacrumbwithhisknife。
\"Butmyfeelingsareofnoimportance。IknowtoowellthatIgetonLucy\'snerves。Ourtourwasafailure。ShewantedtoleaveFlorence,andwhenwegottoRomeshedidnotwanttobeinRome,andallthetimeIfeltthatIwasspendinghermother\'smoney。”
\"Letuskeeptothefuture,though,\"interruptedMr。Beebe。\"I
wantyouradvice。”
\"Verywell,\"saidCharlotte,withachokyabruptnessthatwasnewtohim,thoughfamiliartoLucy。\"IforonewillhelphertogotoGreece。Willyou?\"
Mr。Beebeconsidered。
\"Itisabsolutelynecessary,\"shecontinued,loweringherveilandwhisperingthroughitwithapassion,anintensity,thatsurprisedhim。\"Iknow——Iknow。”Thedarknesswascomingon,andhefeltthatthisoddwomanreallydidknow。\"Shemustnotstophereamoment,andwemustkeepquiettillshegoes。Itrustthattheservantsknownothing。Afterwards——butImayhavesaidtoomuchalready。Only,LucyandIarehelplessagainstMrs。
Honeychurchalone。Ifyouhelpwemaysucceed。Otherwise——\"
\"Otherwise——?\"
\"Otherwise,\"sherepeatedasifthewordheldfinality。
\"Yes,Iwillhelpher,\"saidtheclergyman,settinghisjawfirm。
\"Come,letusgobacknow,andsettlethewholethingup。”
MissBartlettburstintofloridgratitude。Thetavernsign——abeehivetrimmedevenlywithbees——creakedinthewindoutsideasshethankedhim。Mr。Beebedidnotquiteunderstandthesituation;butthen,hedidnotdesiretounderstandit,nortojumptotheconclusionof\"anotherman\"thatwouldhaveattractedagrossermind。HeonlyfeltthatMissBartlettknewofsomevagueinfluencefromwhichthegirldesiredtobedelivered,andwhichmightwellbeclothedinthefleshlyform。Itsveryvaguenessspurredhimintoknight-errantry。Hisbeliefincelibacy,soreticent,socarefullyconcealedbeneathhistoleranceandculture,nowcametothesurfaceandexpandedlikesomedelicateflower。\"Theythatmarrydowell,buttheythatrefraindobetter。”Soranhisbelief,andheneverheardthatanengagementwasbrokenoffbutwithaslightfeelingofpleasure。
InthecaseofLucy,thefeelingwasintensifiedthroughdislikeofCecil;andhewaswillingtogofurther——toplaceheroutofdangeruntilshecouldconfirmherresolutionofvirginity。Thefeelingwasverysubtleandquiteundogmatic,andheneverimpartedittoanyotherofthecharactersinthisentanglement。
Yetitexisted,anditaloneexplainshisactionsubsequently,andhisinfluenceontheactionofothers。ThecompactthathemadewithMissBartlettinthetavern,wastohelpnotonlyLucy,butreligionalso。
Theyhurriedhomethroughaworldofblackandgrey。Heconversedonindifferenttopics:theEmersons\'needofahousekeeper;
servants;Italianservants;novelsaboutItaly;novelswithapurpose;couldliteratureinfluencelife?WindyCornerglimmered。
Inthegarden,Mrs。Honeychurch,nowhelpedbyFreddy,stillwrestledwiththelivesofherflowers。
\"Itgetstoodark,\"shesaidhopelesly。\"Thiscomesofputtingoff。Wemighthaveknowntheweatherwouldbreakupsoon;andnowLucywantstogotoGreece。Idon\'tknowwhattheworld\'scomingto。”
\"Mrs。Honeychurch,\"hesaid,\"gotoGreeceshemust。Comeuptothehouseandlet\'stalkitover。Doyou,inthefirstplace,mindherbreakingwithVyse?\"
\"Mr。Beebe,I\'mthankful——simplythankful。”
\"SoamI,\"saidFreddy。
\"Good。Nowcomeuptothehouse。”
Theyconferredinthedining-roomforhalfanhour。
LucywouldneverhavecarriedtheGreekschemealone。Itwasexpensiveanddramatic——bothqualitiesthathermotherloathed。
NorwouldCharlottehavesucceeded。ThehonoursofthedayrestedwithMr。Beebe。Byhistactandcommonsense,andbyhisinfluenceasaclergyman——foraclergymanwhowasnotafoolinfluencedMrs。Honeychurchgreatly——hebenthertotheirpurpose,\"Idon\'tseewhyGreeceisnecessary,\"shesaid;\"butasyoudo,Isupposeitisallright。ItmustbesomethingIcan\'tunderstand。Lucy!Let\'stellher。Lucy!\"
\"Sheisplayingthepiano,\"Mr。Beebesaid。Heopenedthedoor,andheardthewordsofasong:
\"Looknotthouonbeauty\'scharming。”
\"Ididn\'tknowthatMissHoneychurchsang,too。”
\"Sitthoustillwhenkingsarearming,Tastenotwhenthewine-cupglistens——\"
\"It\'sasongthatCecilgaveher。Howoddgirlsare!\"
\"What\'sthat?\"calledLucy,stoppingshort。
\"Allright,dear,\"saidMrs。Honeychurchkindly。Shewentintothedrawing-room,andMr。BeebeheardherkissLucyandsay:\"I
amsorryIwassocrossaboutGreece,butitcameonthetopofthedahlias。”
Ratherahardvoicesaid:\"Thankyou,mother;thatdoesn\'tmatterabit。”
\"Andyouareright,too——Greecewillbeallright;youcangoiftheMissAlanswillhaveyou。”
\"Oh,splendid!Oh,thankyou!\"
Mr。Beebefollowed。Lucystillsatatthepianowithherhandsoverthekeys。Shewasglad,buthehadexpectedgreatergladness。
Hermotherbentoverher。Freddy,towhomshehadbeensinging,reclinedonthefloorwithhisheadagainsther,andanunlitpipebetweenhislips。Oddlyenough,thegroupwasbeautiful。Mr。Beebe,wholovedtheartofthepast,wasremindedofafavouritetheme,theSantaConversazione,inwhichpeoplewhocareforoneanotherarepaintedchattingtogetheraboutnoblethings——athemeneithersensualnorsensational,andthereforeignoredbytheartofto-day。WhyshouldLucywanteithertomarryortotravelwhenshehadsuchfriendsathome?
\"Tastenotwhenthewine-cupglistens,Speaknotwhenthepeoplelistens,\"
shecontinued。
\"Here\'sMr。Beebe。”
\"Mr。Beebeknowsmyrudeways。”
\"It\'sabeautifulsongandawiseone,\"saidhe。\"Goon。”
\"Itisn\'tverygood,\"shesaidlistlessly。\"Iforgetwhy——harmonyorsomething。”
\"Isuspecteditwasunscholarly。It\'ssobeautiful。”
\"Thetune\'srightenough,\"saidFreddy,\"butthewordsarerotten。
Whythrowupthesponge?\"
\"Howstupidlyyoutalk!\"saidhissister。TheSantaConversazionewasbrokenup。Afterall,therewasnoreasonthatLucyshouldtalkaboutGreeceorthankhimforpersuadinghermother,sohesaidgood-bye。
Freddylithisbicyclelampforhimintheporch,andwithhisusualfelicityofphrase,said:\"Thishasbeenadayandahalf。”
\"Stopthineearagainstthesinger——\"
\"Waitaminute;sheisfinishing。”
\"Fromtheredgoldkeepthyfinger;
VacantheartandhandandeyeEasyliveandquietdie。”
\"Iloveweatherlikethis,\"saidFreddy。
Mr。Beebepassedintoit。
Thetwomainfactswereclear。Shehadbehavedsplendidly,andhehadhelpedher。Hecouldnotexpecttomasterthedetailsofsobigachangeinagirl\'slife。Ifhereandtherehewasdissatisfiedorpuzzled,hemustacquiesce;shewaschoosingthebetterpart。
\"Vacantheartandhandandeye——\"
Perhapsthesongstated\"thebetterpart\"rathertoostrongly。Hehalffanciedthatthesoaringaccompaniment——whichhedidnotloseintheshoutofthegale——reallyagreedwithFreddy,andwasgentlycriticizingthewordsthatitadorned:
\"VacantheartandhandandeyeEasyliveandquietdie。”
However,forthefourthtimeWindyCornerlaypoisedbelowhim——
nowasabeaconintheroaringtidesofdarkness。
ChapterXIX:LyingtoMr。EmersonTheMissAlanswerefoundintheirbelovedtemperancehotelnearBloomsbury——aclean,airlessestablishmentmuchpatronizedbyprovincialEngland。Theyalwaysperchedtherebeforecrossingthegreatseas,andforaweekortwowouldfidgetgentlyoverclothes,guide-books,mackintoshsquares,digestivebread,andotherContinentalnecessaries。Thatthereareshopsabroad,eveninAthens,neveroccurredtothem,fortheyregardedtravelasaspeciesofwarfare,onlytobeundertakenbythosewhohavebeenfullyarmedattheHaymarketStores。MissHoneychurch,theytrusted,wouldtakecaretoequipherselfduly。Quininecouldnowbeobtainedintabloids;papersoapwasagreathelptowardsfresheningupone\'sfaceinthetrain。Lucypromised,alittledepressed。
\"But,ofcourse,youknowallaboutthesethings,andyouhaveMr。Vysetohelpyou。Agentlemanissuchastand-by。”
Mrs。Honeychurch,whohadcomeuptotownwithherdaughter,begantodrumnervouslyuponhercard-case。
\"WethinkitsogoodofMr。Vysetospareyou,\"MissCatharinecontinued。\"Itisnoteveryyoungmanwhowouldbesounselfish。
Butperhapshewillcomeoutandjoinyoulateron。”
\"OrdoeshisworkkeephiminLondon?\"saidMissTeresa,themoreacuteandlesskindlyofthetwosisters。
\"However,weshallseehimwhenheseesyouoff。Idosolongtoseehim。”
\"NoonewillseeLucyoff,\"interposedMrs。Honeychurch。\"Shedoesn\'tlikeit。”
\"No,Ihateseeings-off,\"saidLucy。
\"Really?Howfunny!Ishouldhavethoughtthatinthiscase——\"
\"Oh,Mrs。Honeychurch,youaren\'tgoing?Itissuchapleasuretohavemetyou!\"
Theyescaped,andLucysaidwithrelief:\"That\'sallright。Wejustgotthroughthattime。”
Buthermotherwasannoyed。\"Ishouldbetold,dear,thatIamunsympathetic。ButIcannotseewhyyoudidn\'ttellyourfriendsaboutCecilandbedonewithit。Thereallthetimewehadtositfencing,andalmosttellinglies,andbeseenthrough,too,I
daresay,whichismostunpleasant。”
Lucyhadplentytosayinreply。ShedescribedtheMissAlans\'
character:theyweresuchgossips,andifonetoldthem,thenewswouldbeeverywhereinnotime。
\"Butwhyshouldn\'titbeeverywhereinnotime?\"
\"BecauseIsettledwithCecilnottoannounceituntilIleftEngland。Ishalltellthemthen。It\'smuchpleasanter。Howwetitis!Let\'sturninhere。”
\"Here\"wastheBritishMuseum。Mrs。Honeychurchrefused。Iftheymusttakeshelter,letitbeinashop。Lucyfeltcontemptuous,forshewasonthetackofcaringforGreeksculpture,andhadalreadyborrowedamythicaldictionaryfromMr。Beebetogetupthenamesofthegoddessesandgods。
\"Oh,well,letitbeshop,then。Let\'sgotoMudie\'s。I\'llbuyaguide-book。”
\"Youknow,Lucy,youandCharlotteandMr。BeebealltellmeI\'msostupid,soIsupposeIam,butIshallneverunderstandthishole-and-cornerwork。You\'vegotridofCecil——wellandgood,andI\'mthankfulhe\'sgone,thoughIdidfeelangryfortheminute。
Butwhynotannounceit?Whythishushingupandtip-toeing?\"
\"It\'sonlyforafewdays。”
\"Butwhyatall?\"
Lucywassilent。Shewasdriftingawayfromhermother。Itwasquiteeasytosay,\"BecauseGeorgeEmersonhasbeenbotheringme,andifhehearsI\'vegivenupCecilmaybeginagain\"——quiteeasy,andithadtheincidentaladvantageofbeingtrue。Butshecouldnotsayit。Shedislikedconfidences,fortheymightleadtoself-knowledgeandtothatkingofterrors——Light。EversincethatlasteveningatFlorenceshehaddeemeditunwisetorevealhersoul。
Mrs。Honeychurch,too,wassilent。Shewasthinking,\"Mydaughterwon\'tanswerme;shewouldratherbewiththoseinquisitiveoldmaidsthanwithFreddyandme。Anyrag,tag,andbobtailapparentlydoesifshecanleaveherhome。”Andasinhercasethoughtsneverremainedunspokenlong,sheburstoutwith:
\"You\'retiredofWindyCorner。”
Thiswasperfectlytrue。LucyhadhopedtoreturntoWindyCornerwhensheescapedfromCecil,butshediscoveredthatherhomeexistednolonger。ItmightexistforFreddy,whostilllivedandthoughtstraight,butnotforonewhohaddeliberatelywarpedthebrain。Shedidnotacknowledgethatherbrainwaswarped,forthebrainitselfmustassistinthatacknowledgment,andshewasdisorderingtheveryinstrumentsoflife。Sheonlyfelt,\"IdonotloveGeorge;IbrokeoffmyengagementbecauseIdidnotloveGeorge;ImustgotoGreecebecauseIdonotloveGeorge;itismoreimportantthatIshouldlookupgodsinthedictionarythanthatIshouldhelpmymother;everyoneelseisbehavingverybadly。”Sheonlyfeltirritableandpetulant,andanxioustodowhatshewasnotexpectedtodo,andinthisspiritsheproceededwiththeconversation。
\"Oh,mother,whatrubbishyoutalk!OfcourseI\'mnottiredofWindyCorner。”
\"Thenwhynotsaysoatonce,insteadofconsideringhalfanhour?\"
Shelaughedfaintly,\"Halfaminutewouldbenearer。”
\"Perhapsyouwouldliketostayawayfromyourhomealtogether?\"
\"Hush,mother!Peoplewillhearyou\";fortheyhadenteredMudie\'s。SheboughtBaedeker,andthencontinued:\"OfcourseI
wanttoliveathome;butaswearetalkingaboutit,ImayaswellsaythatIshallwanttobeawayinthefuturemorethanI
havebeen。Yousee,Icomeintomymoneynextyear。”
Tearscameintohermother\'seyes。
Drivenbynamelessbewilderment,bywhatisinolderpeopletermed\"eccentricity,\"Lucydeterminedtomakethispointclear。
\"I\'veseentheworldsolittle——IfeltsooutofthingsinItaly。
Ihaveseensolittleoflife;oneoughttocomeuptoLondonmore——notacheapticketliketo-day,buttostop。Imightevenshareaflatforalittlewithsomeothergirl。”
\"Andmesswithtypewritersandlatch-keys,\"explodedMrs。
Honeychurch。\"Andagitateandscream,andbecarriedoffkickingbythepolice。AndcallitaMission——whennoonewantsyou!AndcallitDuty——whenitmeansthatyoucan\'tstandyourownhome!
AndcallitWork——whenthousandsofmenarestarvingwiththecompetitionasitis!Andthentoprepareyourself,findtwododderingoldladies,andgoabroadwiththem。”
\"Iwantmoreindependence,\"saidLucylamely;sheknewthatshewantedsomething,andindependenceisausefulcry;wecanalwayssaythatwehavenotgotit。ShetriedtorememberheremotionsinFlorence:thosehadbeensincereandpassionate,andhadsuggestedbeautyratherthanshortskirtsandlatch-keys。Butindependencewascertainlyhercue。
\"Verywell。Takeyourindependenceandbegone。Rushupanddownandroundtheworld,andcomebackasthinasalathwiththebadfood。Despisethehousethatyourfatherbuiltandthegardenthatheplanted,andourdearview——andthenshareaflatwithanothergirl。”
Lucyscreweduphermouthandsaid:\"PerhapsIspokehastily。”
\"Oh,goodness!\"hermotherflashed。\"HowyoudoremindmeofCharlotteBartlett!\"
\"Charlotte!\"flashedLucyinherturn,piercedatlastbyavividpain。
\"Moreeverymoment。”
\"Idon\'tknowwhatyoumean,mother;CharlotteandIarenottheveryleastalike。”
\"Well,Iseethelikeness。Thesameeternalworrying,thesametakingbackofwords。YouandCharlottetryingtodividetwoapplesamongthreepeoplelastnightmightbesisters。”
\"Whatrubbish!AndifyoudislikeCharlotteso,it\'sratherapityyouaskedhertostop。Iwarnedyouabouther;Ibeggedyou,imploredyounotto,butofcourseitwasnotlistenedto。”
\"Thereyougo。”
\"Ibegyourpardon?\"
\"Charlotteagain,mydear;that\'sall;herverywords。”
Lucyclenchedherteeth。\"Mypointisthatyououghtn\'ttohaveaskedCharlottetostop。Iwishyouwouldkeeptothepoint。”Andtheconversationdiedoffintoawrangle。
Sheandhermothershoppedinsilence,spokelittleinthetrain,littleagaininthecarriage,whichmetthematDorkingStation。
IthadpouredalldayandastheyascendedthroughthedeepSurreylanesshowersofwaterfellfromtheover-hangingbeech-treesandrattledonthehood。Lucycomplainedthatthehoodwasstuffy。Leaningforward,shelookedoutintothesteamingdusk,andwatchedthecarriage-lamppasslikeasearch-lightovermudandleaves,andrevealnothingbeautiful。
\"ThecrushwhenCharlottegetsinwillbeabominable,\"sheremarked。FortheyweretopickupMissBartlettatSummerStreet,whereshehadbeendroppedasthecarriagewentdown,topayacallonMr。Beebe\'soldmother。\"Weshallhavetositthreeaside,becausethetreesdrop,andyetitisn\'training。Oh,foralittleair!\"Thenshelistenedtothehorse\'shoofs——\"Hehasnottold——hehasnottold。”Thatmelodywasblurredbythesoftroad。\"CAN\'Twehavethehooddown?\"shedemanded,andhermother,withsuddentenderness,said:\"Verywell,oldlady,stopthehorse。”Andthehorsewasstopped,andLucyandPowellwrestledwiththehood,andsquirtedwaterdownMrs。Honeychurch\'sneck。
Butnowthatthehoodwasdown,shedidseesomethingthatshewouldhavemissed——therewerenolightsinthewindowsofCissieVilla,androundthegardengateshefanciedshesawapadlock。
\"Isthathousetoletagain,Powell?\"shecalled。
\"Yes,miss,\"hereplied。
\"Havetheygone?\"
\"Itistoofaroutoftownfortheyounggentleman,andhisfather\'srheumatismhascomeon,sohecan\'tstoponalone,sotheyaretryingtoletfurnished,\"wastheanswer。
\"Theyhavegone,then?\"
\"Yes,miss,theyhavegone。”
Lucysankback。ThecarriagestoppedattheRectory。ShegotouttocallforMissBartlett。SotheEmersonshadgone,andallthisbotheraboutGreecehadbeenunnecessary。Waste!Thatwordseemedtosumupthewholeoflife。Wastedplans,wastedmoney,wastedlove,andshehadwoundedhermother。Wasitpossiblethatshehadmuddledthingsaway?Quitepossible。Otherpeoplehad。Whenthemaidopenedthedoor,shewasunabletospeak,andstaredstupidlyintothehall。