第3章
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  Atanyrateweloved,andoneeveningintheshelterofthesolemnwallsofthegreatColiseumatRome,whichatthathourwereshuttoallexceptourselves,weconfessedourlove。I

  reallythinkwemusthavechosenthespotbytacitbutmutualconsentbecausewefeltittobefitting。Itwassoold,soimpregnatedwitheveryhumanexperience,fromthedirestcrimeofthetyrantwhothoughthimselfagod,tothesublimestsacrificeofthemartyrwhoalreadywashalfagod;witheveryviceandvirtuealsowhichliesbetweentheseextremes,thatitseemedtobethemostfittingaltarwhereontoofferourheartsandallthatcausedthemtobeat,eachtotheother。

  SoNatalieandIwerebetrothedwithinamonthofourfirstmeeting。Withinthreeweweremarried,forwhatwastheretopreventordelay?NaturallySirAlfredwasdelighted,seeingthathepossessedbutsmallprivateresourcesandIwasabletomakeampleprovisionforhisdaughterwhohadhithertoshownherselfsomewhatdifficultinthisbusinessofmatrimonyandnowwasborderingonhertwenty—seventhyear。Everybodywasdelighted,everythingwentsmoothlyasasledgeslidingdownaslopeoffrozensnowandthemistsoftimehidwhatevermightbeattheendofthatslope。Probablyaplain;attheworsttheupwardriseofordinarylife。

  Thatiswhatwethought,ifwethoughtatall。Certainlyweneverdreamedofaprecipice。Whyshouldwe,whowereyoung,bycomparison,quitehealthyandveryrich?Whothinksofprecipicesundersuchcircumstances,whendisasterseemstobeeliminatedanddeathisyetalongwayoff?

  Andyetweoughttohavedoneso,becauseweshouldhaveknownthatsmoothsurfaceswithoutimpedimenttotherunnersoftenendinsomethingofthekind。

  IamboundtosaythatwhenwereturnedhometoFulcombe,whereofcoursewemetwithagreatreception,includingtheringing(outoftune)ofthenewpealofbellsthatIhadgiventothechurch,Bastinmadehastetopointthisout。

  \"Yourwifeseemsaveryniceandbeautifullady,Arbuthnot,\"hereflectedaloudafterdinner,whenMrs。Bastin,gloweringasusual,thoughwhatatIdonotknow,hadbeenescortedfromtheroombyNatalie,\"andreally,whenIcometothinkofit,youareanunusuallyfortunateperson。Youpossessagreatdealofmoney,muchmorethanyouhaveanyrightto;whichyouseemtohavedoneverylittletoearnanddonotspendquiteasIshouldlikeyoutodo,andthisniceproperty,thatoughttobeownedbyagreatnumberofpeople,as,accordingtotheviewsyouexpress,I

  shouldhavethoughtyouwouldacknowledge,andeverythingelsethatamancanwant。Itisverystrangethatyoushouldbesofavouredandnotbecauseofanyparticularmeritsofyourownwhichonecansee。However,Ihavenodoubtitwillallcomeevenintheendandyouwillgetyourshareoftroubles,likeothers。

  PerhapsMrs。Arbuthnotwillhavenochildrenasthereissomuchforthemtotake。Orperhapsyouwillloseallyourmoneyandhavetoworkforyourliving,whichmightbegoodforyou。Or,\"

  headded,stillthinkingaloudafterhisfashion,\"perhapsshewilldieyoung——shehasthatkindofface,although,ofcourse,I

  hopeshewon’t,\"headded,wakingup。

  Idonotknowwhy,buthiswanderingwordsstruckmecold;theproverbialfuneralbellatthemarriagefeastwasnothingtothem。IsupposeitwasbecauseinaflashofintuitionIknewthattheywouldcometrueandthathewasanappointedCassandra。

  Perhapsthisuncannyknowledgeovercamemynaturalindignationatsuchsuper—gaucherieofwhichnoonebutBastincouldhavebeencapable,andevenpreventedmefromreplyingatall,sothatI

  merelysatstillandlookedathim。

  ButBickleydidreplywithsomevigour。

  \"Forgivemeforsayingso,Bastin,\"hesaid,bristlingalloverasitwere,\"butyourremarks,whichmayormaynotbeinaccordancewiththeprinciplesofyourreligion,seemtometobeinsingularlybadtaste。TheywouldhaveturnedthestomachsofagatheringofearlyChristians,whoappeartohavebeentheworstmanneredpeopleintheworld,andatanydecentheathenfeastyourneckwouldhavebeenwrungasthatofabirdofillomen。\"

  \"Why?\"askedBastinblankly。\"IonlysaidwhatIthoughttobethetruth。Thetruthisbetterthanwhatyoucallgoodtaste。\"

  \"ThenIwillsaywhatIthinkalsotobethetruth,\"repliedBickley,growingfurious。\"ItisthatyouuseyourChristianityasacloakforbadmanners。Itteachesconsiderationandsympathyforothersofwhichyouseemtohavenone。Moreover,sinceyoutalkofthedeathofpeople’swives,Iwilltellyousomethingaboutyourown,asadoctor,whichIcandoasIneverattendedher。Itishighlyprobable,inmyopinion,thatshewilldiebeforeMrs。Arbuthnot,whoisquiteahealthypersonwithagoodprospectoflife。\"

  \"Perhaps,\"saidBastin。\"Ifso,itwillbeGod’swillandI

  shallnotcomplain\"(hereBickleysnorted),\"thoughIdonotseewhatyoucanknowaboutit。ButwhyshouldyoucastreflectionsontheearlyChristianswhowerepeopleofstrongprinciplelivinginroughtimes,andhadtowagewaragainstanestablisheddevil—worship?IknowyouareangrybecausetheysmashedupthestatuesofVenusandsoforth,buthadIbeenintheirplaceI

  shouldhavedonethesame。\"

  \"Ofcourseyouwould,whodoubtsit?ButasfortheearlyChristiansandtheiriconoclasticperformances——well,cursethem,that’sall!\"andhesprangupandlefttheroom。

  Ifollowedhim。

  Letitnotbesupposedfromtheabovescenethattherewasanyill—feelingbetweenBastinandBickley。Onthecontrarytheyweremuchattachedtoeachother,andthiskindofquarrelmeantnomorethanthestrongexpressionoftheirindividualviewstowhichtheywereaccustomedfromtheircollegedays。ForinstanceBastinwasalwaystalkingabouttheearlyChristiansandmissionaries,whileBickleyloathedboth,theearlyChristiansbecauseofthedestructionwhichtheyhadwroughtinEgypt,Italy,Greeceandelsewhere,ofallthatwasbeautiful;andthemissionariesbecause,ashesaid,theyweredegradingandspoilingthenativeracesandbyinducingthemtowearclothes,renderingthemliabletodisease。Bastinwouldanswerthattheirsoulsweremoreimportantthantheirbodies,towhichBickleyrepliedthatastherewasnosuchthingasasoulexceptinthestupidimaginationofpriests,hedifferedentirelyonthepoint。

  Asitwasquiteimpossibleforeithertoconvincetheother,theretheconversationwouldend,ordriftintosomethinginwhichtheyweremutuallyinterested,suchasnaturalhistoryandthehygieneoftheneighbourhood。

  HereImaystatethatBickley’skeenprofessionaleyewasnotmistakenwhenhediagnosedMrs。Bastin’sstateofhealthasdangerous。Asamatteroffactshewassufferingfromheartdiseasethatadoctorcanoftenrecognisebythecolourofthelips,etc。,whichbroughtaboutherdeathunderthefollowingcircumstances:

  Herhusbandattendedsomeecclesiasticalfunctionatatownovertwentymilesawayandwastohavereturnedbyatrainwhichwouldhavebroughthimhomeaboutfiveo’clock。Ashedidnotarriveshewaitedatthestationforhimuntilthelasttraincameinaboutseveno’clock——withoutthebelovedBasil。Then,onawinter’snightshetoreuptothePrioryandbeggedmetolendheradog—cartinwhichtodrivetothesaidtowntolookforhim。Iexpostulatedagainstthefollyofsuchaproceeding,sayingthatnodoubtBasilwassafeenoughbuthadforgottentotelegraph,orthoughtthathewouldsavethesixpencewhichthewirecost。

  Thenitcameout,toNatalie’sandmyintenseamusement,thatallthiswastheresultofherjealousnatureofwhichIhavespoken。Shesaidshehadneversleptanightawayfromherhusbandsincetheyweremarriedandwithsomany\"designingpersons\"aboutshecouldnotsaywhatmighthappenifshedidso,especiallyashewas\"suchafavouriteandsohandsome。\"(Bastinwasafinelookingmaninhisruggedway。)

  Isuggestedthatshemighthavealittleconfidenceinhim,towhichshereplieddarklythatshehadnoconfidenceinanybody。

  TheendofitwasthatIlentherthecartwithafasthorseandagooddriver,andoffshewent。Reachingthetowninquestionsometwoandahalfhourslater,shesearchedhighandlowthroughwindandsleet,butfoundnoBasil。He,itappeared,hadgoneontoExeter,tolookatthecathedralwheresomebuildingwasbeingdone,andmissingthelasttrainhadtheresleptthenight。

  Aboutoneinthemorning,afterbeingnearlylockedupasamadwoman,shedrovebacktotheVicarage,againtofindnoBasil。

  Eventhenshedidnotgotobedbutragedaboutthehouseinherwetclothes,untilshefelldownutterlyexhausted。Whenherhusbanddidreturnonthefollowingmorning,fullofinformationaboutthecathedral,shewasdangerouslyill,andactuallypassedawaywhileutteringaviolenttiradeagainsthimforhissupposedsuspiciousproceedings。

  ThatwastheendofthistrulyodiousBritishmatron。

  InafterdaysBastin,bysomepeculiarmentalprocess,canonisedherinhisimaginationasakindofsaint。\"Soloving,\"

  hewouldsay,\"suchadevotedwife!Why,mydearHumphrey,Icanassureyouthateveninthemidstofherdeath—struggleherlastthoughtswereofme,\"wordsthatcausedBickleytosnortwithmorethanusualvigour,untilIkickedhimtosilencebeneaththetable。

  ChapterIV

  DeathandDepartureNowImusttellofmyownterriblesorrow,whichturnedmylifetobitternessandmyhopestoashes。

  NeverwereamanandawomanhappiertogetherthanIandNatalie。Mentally,physically,spirituallywewereperfectlymated,andwelovedeachotherdearly。Trulywewereasone。Yettherewassomethingaboutherwhichfilledmewithvaguefears,especiallyaftershefoundthatshewastobecomeamother。I

  wouldtalktoherofthechild,butshewouldsighandshakeherhead,hereyesfillingwithtears,andsaythatwemustnotcountonthecontinuanceofsuchhappinessasours,foritwastoogreat。

  Itriedtolaughawayherdoubts,thoughwheneverIdidsoI

  seemedtohearBastin’sslowvoiceremarkingcasuallythatshemightdie,ashemighthavecommentedonthequalityoftheclaret。Atlast,however,Igrewterrifiedandaskedherbluntlywhatshemeant。

  \"Idon’tquiteknow,dearest,\"shereplied,\"especiallyasIamwonderfullywell。But——but——\"

  \"Butwhat?\"Iasked。

  \"ButIthinkthatourcompanionshipisgoingtobebrokenforalittlewhile。\"

  \"Foralittlewhile!\"Iexclaimed。

  \"Yes,Humphrey。IthinkthatIshallbetakenawayfromyou——

  youknowwhatImean,\"andshenoddedtowardsthechurchyard。

  \"Oh,myGod!\"Igroaned。

  \"Iwanttosaythis,\"sheaddedquickly,\"thatifsuch’athingshouldhappen,asithappenseveryday,Iimploreyou,dearestHumphrey,nottobetoomuchdistressed,sinceIamsurethatyouwillfindmeagain。No,Ican’texplainhoworwhenorwhere,becauseIdonotknow。Ihaveprayedforlight,butithasnotcometome。AllIknowisthatIamnottalkingofreunioninMr。

  Bastin’skindofconventionalheaven,whichhespeaksaboutasthoughtoreachitonestumbledthroughdarknessforaminuteintoafinenewhousenextdoor,whereexcellentservantshadmadeeverythingreadyforyourarrivalandallthelightswereturnedup。Itissomethingquitedifferentfromthatandverymuchmorereal。\"

  ThenshebentdownostensiblytopattheheadofalittleblackcockerspanielcalledTommywhichhadbeengiventoherasapuppy,ahighlyintelligentandaffectionateanimalthatwebothadoredandthatlovedherasonlyadogcanlove。Really,Iknew,itwastohidehertears,andfledfromtheroomlestsheshouldseemine。

  AsIwentIheardthedogwhimperinginapeculiarway,asthoughsomesympatheticknowledgehadbeencommunicatedtoitswonderfulanimalintelligence。

  ThatnightIspoketoBickleyaboutthematter,repeatingexactlywhathadpassed。AsIexpected,hesmiledinhisgrave,rathersarcasticway,andmadelightofit。

  \"MydearHumphrey,\"hesaid,\"don’ttormentyourselfaboutsuchfancies。Theyareofeverydayoccurrenceamongwomeninyourwife’scondition。Sometimestheytakeoneform,sometimesanother。Whenshehasgotherbabyyouwillhearnomoreofthem。\"

  Itriedtobecomfortedbutinvain。

  Thedaysandweekswentbylikealongnightmareandinduecoursetheeventhappened。Bickleywasnotattendingthecase;itwasnotinhisline,hesaid,andhepreferredthatwhereafriend’swifewasconcerned,somebodyelseshouldbecalledin。

  Soitwasputinchargeofaverygoodlocalmanwithalargeexperienceinsuchdomesticmatters。

  HowamItotellofit?Everythingwentwrong;asforthedetails,letthembe。UltimatelyBickleydidoperate,andifsurpassingskillcouldhavesavedher,itwouldhavebeendone。

  Buttheothermanhadmisjudgedtheconditions;itwastoolate,nothingcouldhelpeithermotherorchild,alittlegirlwhodiedshortlyaftershewasbornbutnotbeforeshehadbeenchristened,alsobythenameofNatalie。

  Iwascalledintosayfarewelltomywifeandfoundherradiant,triumphanteveninherweakness。

  \"Iknownow,\"shewhisperedinafaintvoice。\"Iunderstoodasthechloroformpassedaway,butIcannottellyou。Everythingisquitewell,mydarling。Gowhereyouseemcalledtogo,faraway。

  Oh!thewonderfulplaceinwhichyouwillfindme,notknowingthatyouhavefoundme。Good—byeforalittlewhile;onlyforalittlewhile,myown,myown!\"

  Thenshedied。AndforatimeItooseemedtodie,butcouldnot。IburiedherandthechildhereatFulcombe;orratherI

  buriedtheirashessinceIcouldnotendurethatherbelovedbodyshouldseecorruption。

  Afterwards,whenallwasover,IspokeoftheselastwordsofNatalie’swithbothBickleyandBastin,forsomehowIseemedtowishtolearntheirseparateviews。

  ThelatterImayexplain,hadbeenpresentattheendinhisspiritualcapacity,butIdonotthinkthatheintheleastunderstoodthenatureofthedramawhichwaspassingbeforehiseyes。Hisprayersandthechristeningabsorbedallhisattention,andheneverwasamanwhocouldthinkofmorethanonethingatatime。

  WhenItoldhimexactlywhathadhappenedandrepeatedthewordsthatNataliespoke,hewasmuchinterestedinhisownnebulousway,andsaidthatitwasdelightfultomeetwithanexampleofagoodChristian,suchasmywifehadbeen,whoactuallysawsomethingofHeavenbeforeshehadgonethere。Hisownfaithwas,hethankedGod,fairlyrobust,butstillanundoubtedoccurrenceofthesortactedasarefreshment,\"likerainonapasturewhenitisratherdry,youknow,\"headded,breakingintosimile。

  Iremarkedthatshehadnotseemedtospeakinthesenseheindicated,butappearedtoalludetosomethingquitenearathandandmoreorlessimmediate。

  \"Idon’tknowthatthereisanythingnearerathandthantheHereafter,\"heanswered。\"IexpectshemeantthatyouwillprobablysoondieandjoinherinParadise,ifyouareworthytodoso。Butofcourseitisnotwisetoputtoomuchrelianceuponwordsspokenbypeopleatthelast,becauseoftentheydon’tquiteknowwhattheyaresaying。IndeedsometimesIthinkthiswassointhecaseofmyownwife,whoreallyseemedtometotalkagooddealofrubbish。Good—bye,IpromisedtoseeWidowJenkinsthisafternoonabouthavinghervaricoseveinscutout,andImustn’tstopherewastingtimeinpleasantconversation。

  Shethinksjustasmuchofhervaricoseveinsaswedoofthelossofourwives。\"

  IwonderwhatBastin’sideasofunpleasantconversationmaybe,thoughtItomyself,asIwatchedhimdepartalreadywool—gatheringonsomeothersubject,probablytheheresyofoneofthose\"earlyfathers\"whooccupiedmostofhisthoughts。

  Bickleylistenedtomytaleinsympatheticsilence,asadoctordoestoapatient。Whenhewasobligedtospeak,hesaidthatitwasinterestingasanexampleofatendencyofcertainmindstowardsromanticvisionwhichsometimesassertsitself,eveninthethroesofdeath。

  \"Youknow,\"headded,\"thatIputfaithinnoneofthesethings。IwishthatIcould,butreasonandsciencebothshowmethattheylackfoundation。Theworldonthewholeisasadplace,wherewearrivethroughthepassionsofothersimplantedinthembyNature,which,althoughitcaresnothingforindividualdeath,istendertowardstheimpulseofracesofeverysorttopreservetheircollectivelife。IndeedtheimpulseisNature,oratleastitschiefmanifestation。Consequently,whetherwebegnatsorelephants,oranythingbetweenandbeyond,evenstarsforaughtI

  know,wemustmakethebestofthingsastheyare,takingthegoodandtheevilastheycomeandgettingallwecanoutoflifeuntilitleavesus,afterwhichweneednottrouble。Youhadagoodtimeforalittlewhileandwerehappyinit;nowyouarehavingabadtimeandarewretched。Perhapsinthefuture,whenyourmentalbalancehasre—asserteditself,youwillhaveothergoodtimesintheafternoonofyourdays,andthenfollowtwilightandthedark。Thatisallthereistohopefor,andwemayaswelllookthethingintheface。OnlyIconfess,mydearfellow,thatyourexperienceconvincesmethatmarriageshouldbeavoidedatwhateverinconvenience。IndeedIhavelongwonderedthatanyonecantaketheresponsibilityofbringingachildintotheworld。Butprobablynobodydoesincoldblood,exceptmisguidedidiotslikeBastin,\"headded。\"Hewouldhavetwenty,hadnothisluckintervened。\"

  \"Thenyoubelieveinnothing,Friend,\"Isaid。

  \"Nothing,Iamsorrytosay,exceptwhatIseeandmyfivesensesappreciate。\"

  \"Yourejectallpossibilityofmiracle,forinstance?\"

  \"Thatdependsonwhatyoumeanbymiracle。Scienceshowsusallkindsofwonderswhichourgreatgrandfatherswouldhavecalledmiracles,butthesearenothingbutlawsthatwearebeginningtounderstand。Givemeaninstance。\"

  \"Well,\"Irepliedathazard,\"ifyouwereassuredbysomeonethatamancouldliveforathousandyears?\"

  \"Ishouldtellhimthathewasafooloraliar,thatisall。

  Itisimpossible。\"

  \"Orthatthesameidentity,spirit,animatingprinciple——callitwhatyouwill——canflitfrombodytobody,sayinsuccessiveages?Orthatthedeadcancommunicatewiththeliving?\"

  \"Convincemeofanyofthesethings,Arbuthnot,andmindyouI

  desiretobeconvinced,andIwilltakebackeverywordIhavesaidandwalkthroughFulcombeinawhitesheetproclaimingmyselfthefool。Now,ImustgetofftotheCottageHospitaltocutoutWidowJenkins’svaricoseveins。Theyaretangibleandrealatanyrate;aboutthelargestIeversaw,indeed。Giveupdreams,oldboy,andtaketosomethinguseful。Youmightgobacktoyourfictionwriting;youseemtohaveleaningsthatway,andyouknowyouneednotpublishthestories,exceptprivatelyfortheedificationofyourfriends。\"

  WiththisParthianshaftBickleytookhisdeparturetomakeajobofWidowJenkins’slegs。

  Itookhisadvice。DuringthenextfewmonthsIdidwritesomethingwhichoccupiedmythoughtsforawhile,moreorless。

  Itliesinmysafetothisminute,forsomehowIhaveneverbeenabletomakeupmymindtoburnwhatcostmesomuchphysicalandmentaltoil。

  Whenitwasfinishedmymelancholyreturnedtomewithaddedforce。Everythinginthehousetookatongueandcriedtomeofpastdays。ItswallsechoedavoicethatIcouldneverhearagain;intheverylooking—glassesIsawthereflectionofalostpresence。AlthoughIhadmovedmyselfforthepurposesofsleeptoalittleroomatthefurtherendofthebuilding,footstepsseemedtocreepaboutmybedatnightandIheardtherustleofaremembereddresswithoutthedoor。Theplacegrewhatefultome。

  IfeltthatImustgetawayfromitorIshouldgomad。

  OneafternoonBastinarrivedcarryingabookandinastateofhighindignation。Thiswork,written,ashesaid,bysomeribaldtraveller,grosslytraducedthecharacterofmissionariestotheSouthSeaIslands,especiallyofthoseoftheSocietytowhichhesubscribed,andhethrewitonthetableinhisrighteouswrath。

  BickleypickeditupandopeneditataphotographofaveryprettySouthSeaIslandgirlcladinafewflowersandnothingelse,whichheheldtowardsBastin,saying:

  \"IsittothischildofNature。thatyouobject?Icallherdistinctlyattractive,thoughperhapsshedoeswearherhibiscusbloomswithadifferencetoourwomen——alittlelowerdown。\"

  \"Thedevilisalwaysattractive,\"repliedBastingloomily。

  \"ChildofNatureindeed!IcallherChildofSin。ThatphotographisenoughtomakemypoorSarahturninhergrave。\"

  \"Why?\"askedBickley;\"seeingthatwideseasrollbetweenyouandthisduskyVenus。AlsoIthoughtthataccordingtoyourHebrewlegendsincameinwithbarkgarments。\"

  \"YoushouldsearchtheScriptures,Bickley,\"Ibrokein,\"andcultivateaccuracy。Itwasfig—leavesthatsymboliseditsarrival。Thegarments,whichIthinkwereofskin,developedlater。\"

  \"Perhaps,\"wentonBickley,whohadturnedthepage,\"she\"(hereferredtothelateMrs。Bastin)\"wouldhavepreferredherthus,\"andheheldupanotherillustrationofthesamewoman。

  Inthisthenativebelleappearedafterconversion,cladinbroken—downstays——Isupposetheywerestays——outofwhichsheseemedtobulgeandflowineverydirection,adirtywhitedressseveralsizestoosmall,akindofSalvationArmybonnetwithoutacrownandaprayer—bookwhichsheheldpressedtohermiddle;

  thegeneraleffectbeinghideous,andinsomecuriousway,improper。

  \"Certainly,\"saidBastin,\"thoughIadmitherclothesdonotseemtofitandshehasnotbuttonedthemupassheought。Butitisnotofthepicturessomuchasoftheletterpresswithitsfalseandscandalousaccusations,thatIcomplain。\"

  \"Whydoyoucomplain?\"askedBickley。\"Probablyitisquitetrue,thoughthatwecouldneverascertainwithoutvisitingthelady’shome。\"

  \"IfIcouldaffordit,\"exclaimedBastinwithrisinganger,\"I

  shouldliketogothereandexposethisviletraducerofmycloth。\"

  \"SoshouldI,\"answeredBickley,\"andexposetheseintroducersofconsumption,measlesandotherEuropeandiseases,tosaynothingofgin,amonganinnocentandArcadianpeople。\"

  \"Howcanyoucalltheminnocent,Bickley,whentheymurderandeatmissionaries?\"

  \"Idaresayweshouldalleatamissionary,Bastin,ifwewerehungryenough,\"wastheanswer,afterwhichsomethingoccurredtochangetheconversation。

  ButIkeptthebookandreaditasaneutralobserver,andcametotheconclusionthattheseSouthSeaIslands,alandwhereitwasalwaysafternoon,mustbeacharmingplace,inwhichperhapsthestarsoftheTropicsandthescentoftheflowersmightenableonetoforgetalittle,oratleasttaketheedgeoffmemory。WhyshouldInotvisitthemandescapeanotherlonganddrearyEnglishwinter?No,Icouldnotdosoalone。IfBastinandBickleywerethere,theireternalargumentsmightamuseme。Well,whyshouldtheynotcomealso?Whenonehasmoneythingscanalwaysbearranged。

  Theidea,whichhaditsrootinthisabsurdconversation,tookacuriousholdonme。Ithoughtofitalltheevening,beingalone,andthatnightitre—arosemmydreams。IdreamedthatmylostNatalieappearedtomeandshowedmeapicture。Itwasofalong,lowland,acurvingshoreofwhichtheendswereoutofthepicture,whereongrewtallpalms,andwheregreatcombersbrokeupongleamingsand。

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