Painmadehissoulweak;itcriedfortheoldfaith。Theyarethetearsthatfallintothenew—madegravethatcementthepowerofthepriest。Forthecryofthesoulthatlovesandlosesisthis,onlythis:\"BridgeoverDeath;blendtheHerewiththeHereafter;causethemortaltorobehimselfinimmortality;letmenotsayofmyDeadthatitisdead!Iwillbelieveallelse,bearallelse,endureallelse!\"
Mutteringtohimself,Waldowalkedwithbenthead,themistinhiseyes。
Tothesoul’swildcryforitsowntherearemanyanswers。Hebegantothinkofthem。Wasnotthereoneofthemallfromwhichhemightsuckonedropofcomfort?
\"Youshallseeheragain,\"saystheChristian,thetrueBibleChristian。
\"Yes,youshallseeheragain。’AndIsawthedead,greatandsmall,standbeforeGod。Andthebookswereopened,andthedeadwerejudgedfromthosethingswhichwerewritteninthebooks。Andwhosoeverwasnotfoundwritteninthebookoflifewascastintothelakeoffire,whichistheseconddeath。’Yes;youshallseeheragain。Shediedso——withherkneeunbent,withherhandunraised,withaprayerunuttered,intheprideofherintellectandthestrengthofheryouth。Shelovedandshewasloved;
butshesaidnoprayertoGod;shecriedfornomercy;sherepentedofnosin!Yes;youshallseeheragain。\"
InhisbitternessWaldolaughedlow:
Ah,hehadlongceasedtohearkentothehellishvoice。
Butyetanotherspeaks。
\"Youshallseeheragain,\"saidthenineteenth—centuryChristian,deepintowhosesoulmodernunbeliefandthoughthavecrept,thoughheknowsitnot。
HeitiswhouseshisBibleasthepearl—fishersusetheirshells,sortingoutgemsfromrefuse;hesetshispearlsafterhisownfashion,andhesetsthemwell。\"Donotfear,\"hesays;\"hellandjudgmentarenot。Godislove。Iknowthatbeyondthisblueskyaboveusisaloveaswide—
spreadingoverall。TheAll—Fatherwillshowhertoyouagain;notspiritonly——thelittlehands,thelittlefeetyouloved,youshallliedownandkissthemifyouwill。Christarose,anddideatanddrink,soshallshearise。Thedead,allthedead,raisedincorruptible!Godislove。Youshallseeheragain。\"
Itisaheavenlysong,thisofthenineteenth—centuryChristian。Amanmightdryhistearstolistentoit,butforthisonething——Waldomutteredtohimselfconfusedly:
\"ThethingIlovedwasawomanproudandyoung;ithadamotheronce,who,dying,kissedherlittlebaby,andprayedGodthatshemightseeitagain。
Ifithadlivedthelovedthingwoulditselfhavehadason,who,whenheclosedthewearyeyesandsmoothedthewrinkledforeheadofhismother,wouldhaveprayedGodtoseethatoldfacesmileagainintheHereafter。
Tothesonheavenwillbenoheavenifthesweetwornfaceisnotinoneofthechoirs;hewilllookforitthroughthephalanxofGod’sglorifiedangels;andtheyouthwilllookforthemaid,andthemotherforthebaby。
’Andwhosethenshallshebeattheresurrectionofthedead?’\"
\"Ah,God!ah,God!abeautifuldream,\"hecried;\"butcananyonedreamitnotsleeping?\"
Waldopacedon,moaninginagonyandlonging。
HeheardtheTranscendentalist’shighanswer。
\"Whathaveyoutodowithflesh,thegrossandmiserablegarmentinwhichspirithidesitself?Youshallseeheragain。Butthehand,thefoot,theforeheadyouloved,youshallseenomore。Theloves,thefears,thefrailtiesthatarebornwiththeflesh,withthefleshtheyshalldie。Letthemdie!Thereisthatinmanthatcannotdie——aseed,agermanembryo,aspiritualessence。Higherthanshewasonearth,asthetreeishigherthantheseed,themanthantheembryo,soshallyoubeholdher;changed,glorified!\"
Highwords,ringingwell;theyaretheofferingofjewelstothehungry,ofgoldtothemanwhodiesforbread。Breadiscorruptible,goldisincorruptible;breadislight,goldisheavy;breadiscommon,goldisrare;butthehungrymanwillbarterallyourminesforonemorselofbread。AroundGod’sthronetheremaybechoirsandcompaniesofangels,cherubimandseraphim,risingtierabovetier,butnotforoneofthemalldoesthesoulcryaloud。Onlyperhapsforalittlehumanwomanfullofsin,thatitonceloved。
\"Changeisdeath,changeisdeath!\"hecried。\"Iwantnoangel,onlyshe;
noholierandnobetter,withallhersinsuponher,sogivehermeorgivemenothing!\"
And,truly,doesnottheheartloveitsownwiththestrongestpassionfortheirveryfrailties?Heavenmightkeepitsangelsifmenwerebutlefttomen。
\"Changeisdeath,\"hecried,\"changeisdeath!Whodarestosaythebodyneverdies,becauseitturnsagaintograssandflowers?Andyettheydaretosaythespiritneverdies,becauseinspacesomestrangeunearthlybeingmayhavesprungupuponitsruins。Leaveme!Leaveme!\"hecriedinfranticbitterness。\"GivemebackwhatIhavelost,orgivemenothing。\"
Forthesoul’sfiercecryforimmortalityisthis——onlythis:Returntomeafterdeaththethingasitwasbefore。LeavemeintheHereafterthebeingthatIamtoday。Robmeofthethoughts,thefeelings,thedesiresthataremylife,andyouhaveleftnothingtotake。Yourimmortalityisannihilation,yourHereafterisalie。
Waldoflungopenthedoor,andwalkedoutintothestarlight,hispain—
strickenthoughtseverdrivinghimonashepacedthere。
\"TheremustbeaHereafterbecausemanlongsforit!\"hewhispered。\"Isnotalllifefromthecradletothegraveonelongyearningforthatwhichwenevertouch?TheremustbeaHereafterbecausewecannotthinkofanyendtolife。Canwethinkofabeginning?Isiteasiertosay’Iwasnot’
thantosay’Ishallnotbe’?Andyet,wherewereweninetyyearsago?
Dreams,dreams!Ah,alldreamsandlies!Nogroundanywhere。\"
Hewentbackintothecabinandwalkedthere。Hourafterhourpassed,andhewasdreaming。
For,markyou,menwilldream;themostthatcanbeaskedofthemisbutthatthedreambenotintooglaringdiscordwiththethingtheyknow。Hewalkedwithbenthead。
Alldies,alldies!therosesareredwiththematterthatoncereddenedthecheekofthechild;theflowersbloomthefairestonthelastyear’sbattleground;theworkofdeath’sfingercunninglywreathedoverisattheheartofallthings,evenoftheliving。
Death’sfingeriseverywhere。Therocksarebuiltupofalifethatwas。
Bodies,thoughts,andlovesdie:fromwherespringsthatwhispertothetinysoulofman,\"Youshallnotdie\"?Ah,istherenotruthofwhichthisdreamisshadow?
Hefellintoperfectsilence。And,atlast,ashewalkedtherewithhisbenthead,hissoulpasseddownthestepsofcontemplationintothatvastlandwherethereisalwayspeace;thatlandwherethesoul,gazinglong,losesallconsciousnessofitslittleself,andalmostfeelsitshandontheoldmysteryofUniversalunitythatsurroundsit。
\"Nodeath,nodeath,\"hemuttered;\"thereisthatwhichneverdies——whichabides。Itisbuttheindividualthatperishes,thewholeremains。Itistheorganismthatvanishes,theatomsarethere。Itisbutthemanthatdies,theUniversalWholeofwhichheispartreworkshimintoitsinmostself。Ah,whatmatterthatman’sdaybeshort!——thatthesunriseseeshim,andthesunsetseeshisgrave;thatofwhichheisbutthebreathhasbreathedhimforthanddrawnhimbackagain。Thatabides——weabide。\"
Forthelittlesoulthatcriesaloudforcontinuedpersonalexistenceforitselfanditsbeloved,thereisnohelp。Forthesoulwhichknowsitselfnomoreasaunit,butasapartoftheUniversalUnityofwhichtheBelovedalsoisapart;whichfeelswithinitselfthethroboftheUniversalLife;forthatsoulthereisnodeath。
\"Letusdie,beloved,youandI,thatwemaypassonforeverthroughtheUniversalLife!Inthatdeepworldofcontemplationallfiercedesiresdieout,andpeacecomesdown。He,Waldo,ashewalkedthere,sawnomoretheworldthatwasabouthim;criedoutnomoreforthethingthathehadlost。
Hissoulrested。WasitonlyJohn,thinkyou,whosawtheheavensopen?
Thedreamersseeiteveryday。
Longyearsbeforethefatherhadwalkedinthelittlecabin,andseenchoirsofangels,andaprincelikeuntomen,butclothedinimmortality。
Theson’sknowledgewasnotasthefather’s,thereforethedreamwasnew—
tinted,butthesweetnesswasallthere,theinfinitepeacethatmenfindnotinthelittlecankeredkingdomofthetangible。Thebarsoftherealaresetcloseaboutus;wecannotopenourwingsbuttheyarestruckagainstthem,anddropbleeding。But,whenweglidebetweenthebarsintothegreatunknownbeyond,wemaysailforeverinthegloriousblue,seeingnothingbutourownshadows。
Soagesucceedsage,anddreamsucceedsdream,andofthejoyofthedreamernomanknowethbuthewhodreameth。
Ourfathershadtheirdream;wehaveours;thegenerationthatfollowswillhaveitsown。Withoutdreamsandphantomsmancannotexist。
Chapter2。XIV。WaldoGoesOuttoSitintheSunshine。
Ithadbeenaprincelyday。Thelongmorninghadmeltedslowlyintoarichafternoon。Rainshadcoveredthekaroowithaheavycoatofgreenthathidtheredeartheverywhere。Intheverychinksofthestonewallsdarkgreenleaveshungout,andbeautyandgrowthhadcreptevenintothebedsofthesandyfurrowsandlinedthemwithweeds。Onthebrokensodwallsoftheoldpigstychick—weedsflourished,andice—plantsliftedheirtransparentleaves。Waldowasatworkinthewagon—houseagain。HewasmakingakitchentableforEm。Asthelongcurlsgatheredinheapsbeforehisplane,hepausedforaninstantnowandagaintothrowonedowntoasmallnakednigger,whohadcreptfromitsmother,whostoodchurninginthesunshine,andhadcrawledintothewagon—house。
Fromtimetotimethelittleanimallifteditsfathandasitexpectedafreshshowerofcurls;tillDoss,jealousofhismaster’snoticinganyothersmallcreaturebuthimself,wouldcatchthecurlinhismouthandrollthelittleKafferoverinthesawdust,muchtothatsmallanimal’scontentment。Itwastoolazyanafternoontobereallyill—natured,soDosssatisfiedhimselfwithsnappingatthelittlenigger’sfingers,andsittingonhimtillhelaughed。Waldo,asheworked,glanceddownatthemnowandthen,andsmiled;butheneverlookedoutacrosstheplain。Hewasconsciouswithoutlookingofthatbroadgreenearth;itmadehisworkpleasanttohim。Neartheshadowatthegablethemotherofthelittleniggerstoodchurning。Slowlysheraisedandletfallthestickinherhands,murmuringtoherselfasleepychantsuchasherpeoplelove;itsoundedlikethehummingoffar—offbees。
Adifferentlifeshoweditselfinthefrontofthehouse,whereTantSannie’scartstoodreadyinspannedandtheBoer—womanherselfsatinthefrontroomdrinkingcoffee。
Shehadcometovisitherstepdaughter,probablyforthelasttime,asshenowweighedtwohundredandsixtypounds,andwasnoteasilyabletomove。
Onachairsathermildyounghusbandnursingthebaby——apudding—faced,weak—eyedchild。
\"Youtakeitandgetintothecartwithit,\"saidTantSannie。\"Whatdoyouwanthere,listeningtoourwoman’stalk?\"
Theyoungmanarose,andmeeklywentoutwiththebaby。
\"I’mverygladyouaregoingtobemarried,mychild,\"saidTantSannie,asshedrainedthelastdropfromhercoffeecup。\"Iwouldn’tsaysowhilethatboywashere,itwouldmakehimtooconceited;butmarriageisthefinestthingintheworld。I’vebeenatitthreetimes,andifitpleasedGodtotakethishusbandfrommeIshouldhaveanother。There’snothinglikeit,mychild;nothing。\"
\"Perhapsitmightnotsuitallpeople,atalltimes,aswellasitsuitsyou,TantSannie,\"saidEm。Therewasalittleshadeofwearinessinthevoice。
\"Notsuiteveryone!\"saidTantSannie。\"IfthebelovedRedeemerdidn’tmeanmentohavewiveswhatdidHemakewomenfor?That’swhatIsay。Ifawoman’soldenoughtomarry,anddoesn’t,she’ssinningagainsttheLord—
—it’sawantingtoknowbetterthanHim。What,doesshethinktheLordtookallthattroubleinmakingherfornothing?It’sevidentHewantsbabies,otherwisewhydoesHesendthem?NotthatI’vedonemuchinthatwaymyself,\"saidTantSannie,sorrowfully;\"butI’vedonemybest。\"
Sherosewithsomedifficultyfromherchair,andbeganmovingslowlytowardthedoor。
\"It’sastrangething,\"shesaid,\"butyoucan’tloveamantillyou’vehadababybyhim。Nowthere’sthatboythere,whenwewerefirstmarriedifheonlysneezedinthenightIboxedhisears;nowifheletshispipe—ashcomeonmymilk—clothsIdon’tthinkoflayingafingeronhim。There’snothinglikebeingmarried,\"saidTantSannie,asshepuffedtowardthedoor。\"Ifawoman’sgotababyandahusbandshe’sgotthebestthingstheLordcangiveher;ifonlythebabydoesn’thaveconvulsions。Asforahusband,it’sverymuchthesamewhoonehas。Somemenarefat,andsomemenarethin;somemendrinkbrandy,andsomemendrinkgin;butitallcomestothesamethingintheend;it’sallone。Aman’saman,youknow。\"
HeretheycameuponGregory,whowassittingintheshadebeforethehouse。
TantSannieshookhandswithhim。
\"I’mgladyou’regoingtogetmarried,\"shesaid。\"Ihopeyou’llhaveasmanychildreninfiveyearsasacowhascalves,andmoretoo。IthinkI’lljustgoandhavealookatyoursoap—potbeforeIstart,\"shesaid,turningtoEm。\"NotthatIbelieveinthisnewplanofputtingsodainthepot。IfthedearFatherhadmeantsodatobeputintosoapwhatwouldHehavemademilk—bushesfor,andstuckthemallovertheveldasthickaslambsinthelambingseason?\"
ShewaddledoffafterEminthedirectionofthebuilt—insoap—pot,leavingGregoryastheyfoundhim,withhisdeadpipelyingonthebenchbesidehim,andhisblueeyesgazingoutfaracrosstheflat,likeonewhositsontheseashorewatchingthatwhichisfading,fadingfromhim。
Againsthisbreastwasaletterfoundinthedeskaddressedtohimself,butneverposted。Itheldonlyfourwords:\"YoumustmarryEm。\"Heworeitinablackbagroundhisneck。Itwastheonlylettershehadeverwrittentohim。
\"Youseeifthesheepdon’thavethescabthisyear!\"saidTantSannieasshewaddledafterEm。\"It’swithallthesenewinventionsthatthewrathofGodmustfallonus。WhatwerethechildrenofIsraelpunishedfor,ifitwasn’tformakingagoldencalf?Imayhavemysins,butIdorememberthetenthcommandment:’Honourthyfatherandmotherthatitmaybewellwiththee,andthatthoumayestlivelonginthelandwhichtheLordthyGodgiveththee!’It’sallverywelltosaywehonourthem,andthentobefindingoutthingsthattheyneverknew,anddoingthingsinawaythattheyneverdidthem!Mymotherboiledsoapwithbushes,andIwillboilsoapwithbushes。IfthewrathofGodistofalluponthisland,\"saidTantSannie,withtheserenityofconsciousvirtue,\"itshallnotbethroughme。\"
\"Letthemmaketheirsteam—wagonsandtheirfire—carriages;letthemgoonasthoughthedearLorddidn’tknowwhathewasaboutwhenHegavehorsesandoxenlegs——thedestructionoftheLordwillfollowthem。Idon’tknowhowsuchpeoplereadtheirBibles。WhendowehearofMosesorNoahridinginarailway?TheLordsentfire—carriagesoutofheaveninthosedays:
there’snochanceofHissendingthemforusifwegooninthisway,\"saidTantSanniesorrowfully,thinkingofthesplendidchancewhichthisgenerationhadlost。
Arrivedatthesoap—potshelookedoverintoitthoughtfully。
\"Dependuponityou’llgettheitch,orsomeotherdisease;theblessingoftheLord’llneverrestuponit,\"saidtheBoer—woman。Thensuddenlyshebrokeforth。\"Andsheeighty—two,andgoats,andrams,andeightthousandmorgen,andtheramsrealangora,andtwothousandsheep,andashort—hornbull,\"saidTantSannie,standinguprightandplantingahandoneachhip。
Emlookedatherinsilentwonder。HadconnubialblissandthejoysofmotherhoodreallyturnedtheoldBoer—woman’shead?
\"Yes,\"saidTantSannie;\"Ihadalmostforgottentotellyou。BytheLordifIhadhimhere!WewerewalkingtochurchlastSacramentSunday,PietandI。CloseinfrontofuswitholdTantTrana,withdropsyandcancer,andcan’tliveeightmonths。Walkingbyherwassomethingwithitshandsunderitscoat—tails,flap,flap,flap;anditschinintheair,andastick—upcollar,andtheblackhatontheverybackofthehead。Iknewhim!’Who’sthat?’Iasked。’TherichEnglishmanthatTantTranamarriedlastweek。’’RichEnglishman!I’llrichEnglishmanhim,’Isaid;’I’lltellTantTranaathingortwo。Myfingerswerejustinhislittlewhitecurls。Ifithadn’tbeentheblessedSacrament,hewouldn’thavewalkedsosourka,sourka,sourka,anymore。ButIthought。WaittillI’vehadit,andthen——。Buthe,slyfox,sonofSatan,seedoftheAmalekite,hesawmelookingathiminthechurch。
\"TheblessedSacramentwasn’thalfoverwhenhetakesTantTranabythearm,andouttheygo。Iclapmybabydowntoitsfather,andIgoafterthem。But,\"saidTantSannie,regretfully,\"Icouldn’tgetuptothem;I
amtoofat。WhenIgottothecornerhewaspullingTantTranaupintothecart。’TantTrana,’Isaid,’you’vemarriedaKaffer’sdog,aHottentot’sbrakje。’Ihadn’tanymorebreath。Hewinkedatme;hewinkedatME,\"
saidTantSannie,hersidesshakingwithindignation,\"firstwithoneeye,andthenwiththeother,andthendroveaway。ChildoftheAmalekite!\"
saidTantSannie,\"ifithadn’tbeentheblessedSacrament。Lord,Lord,Lord!\"
HerethelittleBush—girlcamerunningtosaythatthehorseswouldstandnolonger,andstillbreathingoutvengeanceagainstheroldadversaryshelabouredtowardthecart。ShakinghandsandaffectionatelykissingEm,shewaswithsomedifficultydrawnup。Thenslowlythecartrolledaway,thegoodBoer—womanputtingherheadoutbetweenthesailstosmileandnod。
Emstoodwatchingitforatime,thenasthesundazzledhereyessheturnedaway。TherewasnouseingoingtositwithGregory!helikedbestsittingtherealone,staringacrossthethegreenkaroo;andtillthemaidhaddonechurningtherewasnothingtodo;soEmwalkedawaytothewagon—
house,andclimbedontotheendofWaldo’stable,andsatthere,swingingonelittlefootslowlytoandfro,whilethewoodencurlsfromtheplaneheapedthemselvesupagainstherblackprintdress。
\"Waldo,\"shesaidatlast,\"Gregoryhasgivenmethemoneyhegotforthewagonandoxen,andIhavefiftypoundsbesidesthatoncebelongedtosomeone。Iknowwhattheywouldhavelikedtohavedonewithit。Youmusttakeitandgotosomeplaceandstudyforayearortwo。\"
\"No,littleone,Iwillnottakeit,\"hesaid,asheplanedslowlyaway;
\"thetimewaswhenIwouldhavebeenverygratefultoanyonewhowouldhavegivenmealittlemoney,alittlehelp,alittlepowerofgainingknowledge。Butnow,IhavegonesofaraloneImaygoontotheend。I
don’twantit,littleone。\"
Shedidnotseempainedathisrefusal,butswungherfoottoandfro,thelittleoldwrinkledforeheadmorewrinkledupthanever。
\"Whyisitalwaysso,Waldo,alwaysso?\"shesaid;\"welongforthings,andlongforthem,andprayforthem;wewouldgiveallwehavetocomeneartothem,butweneverreachthem。Thenatlast,toolate,justwhenwedon’twantthemanymore,whenallthesweetnessistakenoutofthem,thentheycome。Wedon’twantthemthen,\"shesaid,foldingtheirhandsresignedlyonherlittleapron。Afterawhilesheadded:\"Irememberonce,verylongago,whenIwasaverylittlegirl,mymotherhadaworkboxfullofcolouredreels。Ialwayswantedtoplaywiththem,butshewouldneverletme。AtlastonedayshesaidImighttakethebox。IwassogladIhardlyknewwhattodo。Iranroundthehouse,andsatdownwithitonthebacksteps。ButwhenIopenedtheboxallthecottonsweretakenout。\"
Shesatforawhilelonger,tilltheKaffermaidhadfinishedchurning,andwascarryingthebuttertowardthehouse。ThenEmpreparedtoslipoffthetable,butfirstshelaidherlittlehandonWaldo’s。Hestoppedhisplaningandlookedup。
\"Gregoryisgoingtothetowntomorrow。Heisgoingtogiveinourbanstotheminister;wearegoingtobemarriedinthreeweeks。\"
Waldoliftedherverygentlyfromthetable。Hedidnotcongratulateher;
perhapshethoughtoftheemptybox,buthekissedherforeheadgravely。
Shewalkedawaytowardthehouse,butstoppedwhenshegothalf—way。\"I
willbringyouaglassofbuttermilkwhenitiscool,\"shecalledout;andsoonherclearvoicecameringingoutthroughthebackwindowsasshesangthe\"BlueWater\"toherself,andwashedthebutter。
Waldodidnotwaittillshereturned。Perhapshehadatlastreallygrownwearyofwork;perhapshefeltthewagon—housechilly(forhehadshudderedtwoorthreetimes),thoughthiswashardlylikelyinthatwarmsummerweather;or,perhaps,andmostprobably,oneofhisolddreamingfitshadcomeuponhimsuddenly。
Heputhistoolstogether,readyfortomorrow,andwalkedslowlyout。Atthesideofthewagon—housetherewasaworldofbrightsunshine,andahenwithherchickenswasscratchingamongthegravel。Waldoseatedhimselfnearthemwithhisbackagainstthered—brickwall。Thelongafternoonwashalfspent,andthekopjewasjustbeginningtocastitsshadowovertheround—headedyellowflowersthatgrewbetweenitandthefarmhouse。Amongtheflowersthewhitebutterflieshoveredandontheoldkraalmoundsthreewhitekidsgambolled,andatthedoorofoneofthehutsanoldgrey—headedKaffer—womansatonthegroundmendinghermats。Abalmy,restfulpeacefulnessseemedtoreigneverywhere。Eventheoldhenseemedwellsatisfied。Shescratchedamongthestonesandcalledtoherchickenswhenshefoundatreasure;andallthewhiletuckedtoherselfwithintenseinwardsatisfaction。
Waldo,ashesatwithhiskneesdrawnuptohischinandhisarmsfoldedonthem,lookedatitallandsmiled。Anevilworld,adeceitful,treacherous,mirage—likeworlditmightbe;butalovelyworldforallthat,andtosittheregloatinginthesunlightwasperfect。Itwasworthhavingbeenalittlechild,andhavingcriedandprayedsoonemightsitthere。Hemovedhishandsasthoughhewerewashingtheminthesunshine。
Therewillalwaysbesomethingworthlivingforwhilethereareshimmeryafternoons。Waldochuckledwithintenseinwardsatisfactionastheoldhenhaddone——she,overtheinsectsandthewarmth;he,overtheoldbrickwalls,andthehaze,andthelittlebushes。BeautyisGod’swine,withwhichHerecompensesthesoulsthatloveHim;Hemakesthemdrunk。
Thefellowlooked,andatlaststretchedoutonehandtoalittleice—plantthatgrewonthesodwallofthesty;notasthoughhewouldhavepickedit,butasitwereinafriendlygreeting。Helovedit。Onelittleleafoftheice—plantstoodupright,andthesunshonethroughit。Hecouldseeeverylittlecrystalcelllikeadropoficeinthetransparentgreen,anditthrilledhim。
Thereareonlyraretimeswhenaman’ssoulcanseeNature。
Solongasanypassionholdsitsrevelthere,theeyesareholdenthattheyshouldnotseeher。
Gooutifyouwillandwalkaloneonthehillsideintheevening,butifyourfavouritechildliesillathome,oryourlovercomestomorrow,oratyourheartthereliesaschemefortheholdingofwealth,thenyouwillreturnasyouwentout;youwillhaveseennothing。ForNature,ever,liketheOldHebrewGod,criesout,\"Thoushalthavenoothergodsbeforeme。\"
Onlythen,whentherecomesapause,ablankinyourlife,whentheoldidolisbroken,whentheoldhopeisdead,whentheolddesireiscrushed,thentheDivinecompensationofNatureismademanifest。Sheshowsherselftoyou。Sonearshedrawsyou,thatthebloodseemstoflowfromhertoyou,throughastilluncutcord:youfeelthethrobofherlife。
Whenthatdaycomes,thatyousitdownbroken,withoutonehumancreaturetowhomyoucling,withyourlovesthedeadandtheliving—dead;whentheverythirstforknowledgethroughlong—continuedthwartinghasgrowndull;
wheninthepresentthereisnocraving,andinthefuturenohope,then,oh,withabeneficenttenderness,Natureinfoldsyou。
Thenthelargewhitesnow—flakesastheyflutterdown,softly,onebyone,whispersoothingly,\"Rest,poorheart,rest!\"Itisasthoughourmothersmoothedourhair,andwearecomforted。
Andyellow—leggedbeesastheyhummakeadreamylyric;andthelightonthebrownstonewallisagreatworkofart;andtheglitterthroughtheleavesmakesthepulsesbeat。
Welltodiethen;for,ifyoulive,sosurelyastheyearscome,sosurelyasthespringsucceedsthewinter,sosurelywillpassionsarise。Theywillcreepback,onebyone,intothebosomthathascastthemforth,andfastenthereagain,andpeacewillgo。Desire,ambition,andthefierceagonizingfloodofloveforthelivingtheywillspringagain。ThenNaturewilldrawdownherveil;withallyourlongingyoushallnotbeabletoraiseonecorner;youcannotbringbackthosepeacefuldays。Welltodiethen!
Sittingtherewithhisarmsfoldedonhisknees,andhishatsloucheddownoverhisface,Waldolookedoutintotheyellowsunshinethattintedeventheveryairwiththecolourofripecorn,andwashappy。
Hewasanuncouthcreaturewithsmalllearning,andnoprospectinthefuturebutthatofmakingendlesstablesandstonewalls,yetitseemedtohimashesattherethatlifewasarareandveryrichthing。Herubbedhishandsinthesunshine。Ah,toliveonso,yearafteryear,howwell!
Alwaysinthepresent;lettingeachdayglide,bringingitsownlabour,anditsownbeauty;thegraduallightingupofthehills,nightandthestars,firelightandthecoals!Toliveonso,calmly,farfromthepathsofmen;
andtolookatthelivesofcloudsandinsects;tolookdeepintotheheartofflowers,andseehowlovinglythepistilandthestamensnestletheretogether;andtoseeinthethorn—podshowthelittleseedssucktheirlifethroughthedelicatecurled—upstring,andhowthelittleembryosleepsinside!Well,howwell,tositsoononesidetakingnopartintheworld’slife;butwhengreatmenblossomintobookslookingintothoseflowersalso,toseehowtheworldofmentooopensbeautifully,leafafterleaf。Ah!lifeisdelicious;welltolivelong,andseethedarknessbreaking,andthedaycoming!Thedaywhensoulshallnotthrustbacksoulthatwouldcometoit;whenmenshallnotbedriventoseeksolitudebecauseofthecrying—outoftheirheartsforloveandsympathy。Welltolivelongandseethenewtimebreaking。Welltolivelong;lifeissweet,sweet,sweet!Inhisbreastpocket,whereofoldthebrokenslateusedtobe,therewasnowalittledancingshoeofhisfriendwhowassleeping。Hecouldfeelitwhenhefoldedhisarmtightagainsthisbreast;andthatwaswellalso。Hedrewhishatloweroverhiseyesandsatsomotionlessthatthechickensthoughthewasasleep,andgatheredcloseraroundhim。Oneevenventuredtopeckathisboot,butheranawayquickly。Tiny,yellowfellowthathewas,heknewthatmenweredangerous;evensleepingtheymightawake。ButWaldodidnotsleep,andcomingbackfromhissunshinydream,stretchedouthishandforthetinythingtomount。Butthechickeneyedthehand,andthenranofftohideunderitsmother’swing,andfrombeneathititsometimesputoutitsroundheadtopeepatthegreatfiguresittingthere。Presentlyitsbrothersranoffafteralittlewhitemothanditranouttojointhem;andwhenthemothflutteredawayovertheirheadstheystoodlookingupdisappointed,andthenranbacktotheirmother。
Waldothroughhishalf—closedeyeslookedatthem。Thinking,fearing,craving,thosetinysparksofbrotherlife,whatwerethey,sorealthereinthatoldyardonthatsunshinyafternoon?Afewyears——wherewouldtheybe?Strangelittlebrotherspirits!Hestretchedhishandtowardthem,forhisheartwentouttothem;butnotoneofthelittlecreaturescamenearerhim,andhewatchedthemgravelyforatime;thenhesmiled,andbeganmutteringtohimselfafterhisoldfashion。Afterwardhefoldedhisarmsuponhisknees,andrestedhisforeheadonthem。Andsohesatthereintheyellowsunshine,muttering,muttering,muttering,tohimself。
ItwasnotverylongafterwhenEmcameoutatthebackdoorwithatowelthrownacrossherhead,andinherhandacupofmilk。
\"Ah,\"shesaid,comingclosetohim,\"heissleepingnow。Hewillfinditwhenhewakes,andbegladofit。\"
Sheputitdownuponthegroundbesidehim。Themother—henwasatworkstillamongthestones,butthechickenshadclimbedabouthimandwereperchingonhim。Onestooduponhisshoulder,andrubbeditslittleheadsoftlyagainsthisblackcurls:anothertriedtobalanceitselfontheveryedgeoftheoldfelthat。Onetinyfellowstooduponhishand,andtriedtocrow;anotherhadnestleditselfdowncomfortablyontheoldcoat—
sleeveandgonetosleepthere。
Emdidnotdrivethemaway;butshecoveredtheglasssoftlyathisside。
\"Hewillwakesoon,\"shesaid,\"andbegladofit。\"
Butthechickenswerewiser。
End