THEOFFICER。Whoarethesemen，SenorIngles？
TANNER。Myescort。
Mendoza，withaMephistopheleansmile，bowsprofoundly。Anirrepressiblegrinrunsfromfacetofaceamongthebrigands。Theytouchtheirhats，excepttheAnarchist，whodefiestheStatewithfoldedarms。
ACTIV
ThegardenofavillainGranada。WhoeverwishestoknowwhatitislikemustgotoGranadaandsee。Onemayprosaicallyspecifyagroupofhillsdottedwithvillas，theAlhambraonthetopofoneofthehills，andaconsiderabletowninthevalley，approachedbydustywhiteroadsinwhichthechildren，nomatterwhattheyaredoingorthinkingabout，automaticallywhineforhalfpenceandreachoutlittleclutchingbrownpalmsforthem；butthereisnothinginthisdescriptionexcepttheA1hambra，thebegging，andthecoloroftheroads，thatdoesnotfitSurreyaswellasSpain。ThedifferenceisthattheSurreyhillsarecomparativelysmallandugly，andshouldproperlybecalledtheSurreyProtuberances；buttheseSpanishhillsareofmountainstock：theamenitywhichconcealstheirsizedoesnotcompromisetheirdignity。
ThisparticulargardenisonahilloppositetheAlhambra；andthevillaisasexpensiveandpretentiousasavillamustbeifitistobeletfurnishedbytheweektoopulentAmericanandEnglishvisitors。Ifwestandonthelawnatthefootofthegardenandlookuphill，ourhorizonisthestonebalustradeofaflaggedplatformontheedgeofinfinitespaceatthetopofthehill。Betweenusandthisplatformisaflowergardenwithacircularbasinandfountaininthecentre，surroundedbygeometricalflowerbeds，gravelpaths，andclippedyewtreesinthegenteelestorder。Thegardenishigherthanourlawn；sowereachitbyafewstepsinthemiddleofitsembankment。Theplatformishigheragainthanthegarden，fromwhichwemountacouplemorestepstolookoverthebalustradeatafineviewofthetownupthevalleyandofthehillsthatstretchawaybeyondittowhere，intheremotestdistance，theybecomemountains。Onourleftisthevilla，accessiblebystepsfromthelefthandcornerofthegarden。Returningfromtheplatformthroughthegardenanddownagaintothelawn（amovementwhichleavesthevillabehindusonourright）wefindevidenceofliteraryinterestsonthepartofthetenantsinthefactthatthereisnotennisnetnorsetofcroquethoops，but，onourleft，alittleirongardentablewithbooksonit，mostlyyellow—backed，andachairbesideit。Achairontherighthasalsoacoupleofopenbooksuponit。Therearenonewspapers，acircumstancewhich，withtheabsenceofgames，mightleadanintelligentspectatortothemostfarreachingconclusionsastothesortofpeoplewholiveinthevilla。Suchspeculationsarechecked，however，onthisdelightfullyfineafternoon，bytheappearanceatalittlegateinapalinganourleft，ofHenryStrakerinhisprofessionalcostume。Heopensthegateforanelderlygentleman，andfollowshimontothelawn。
ThiselderlygentlemandefiestheSpanishsuninablackfrockcoat，tallsilkbat，trousersinwhichnarrowstripesofdarkgreyandlilacblendintoahighlyrespectablecolor，andablacknecktietiedintoabowoverspotlesslinen。Probablythereforeamanwhosesocialpositionneedsconstantandscrupulousaffirmationwithoutregardtoclimate：onewhowoulddressthusforthemiddleoftheSaharaorthetopofMontBlanc。Andsincehehasnotthestampoftheclasswhichacceptsasitslife—missiontheadvertizingandmaintenanceoffirstratetailoringandmillinery，helooksvulgarinhisfinery，thoughinaworkingdressofanykindhewouldlookdignifiedenough。Heisabulletcheekedmanwitharedcomplexion，stubblyhair，smallisheyes，ahardmouththatfoldsdownatthecorners，andadoggedchin。Theloosenessofskinthatcomeswithagehasattackedhisthroatandthelapsofhischeeks；butheisstillhardasanappleabovethemouth；sothattheupperhalfofhisfacelooksyoungerthanthelower。Hehastheself—confidenceofonewhohasmademoney，andsomethingofthetruculenceofonewhohasmadeitinabrutalizingstruggle，hiscivilityhavingunderitaperceptiblemenacethathehasothermethodsinreserveifnecessary。Withal，amantoberatherpitiedwhenheisnottobefeared；forthereissomethingpatheticabouthimattimes，asifthehugecommercialmachinewhichhasworkedhimintohisfrockcoathadallowedhimverylittleofhisownwayandlefthisaffectionshungryandbaffled。AtthefirstwordthatfallsfromhimitisclearthatheisanIrishmanwhosenativeintonationhasclungtohimthroughmanychangesofplaceandrank。OnecanonlyguessthattheoriginalmaterialofhisspeechwasperhapsthesurlyKerrybrogue；butthedegradationofspeechthatoccursinLondon，Glasgow，Dublinandbigcitiesgenerallyhasbeenatworkonitsolongthatnobodybutanarrantcockneywoulddreamofcallingitabroguenow；foritsmusicisalmostgone，thoughitssurlinessisstillperceptible。
Straker，asaveryobviouscockney，inspireshimwithimplacablecontempt，asastupidEnglishmanwhocannotevenspeakhisownlanguageproperly。Straker，ontheotherhand，regardstheoldgentleman’saccentasajokethoughtfullyprovidedbyProvidenceexpresslyfortheamusementoftheBritishrace，andtreatshimnormallywiththeindulgenceduetoaninferiorandunluckyspecies，butoccasionallywithindignantalarmwhentheoldgentlemanshowssignsofintendinghisIrishnonsensetobetakenseriously。
STRAKER。I’llgotelltheyounglady。Shesaidyou’dprefertostayhere[heturnstogoupthroughthegardentothevilla]。
MALONE。[whohasbeenlookingroundhimwithlivelycuriosity]
Theyounglady？That’sMissViolet，eh？
STRAKER。[stoppingonthestepswithsuddensuspicion]Well，youknow，don’tyou？
MALONE。DoI？
STRAKER。[histemperrising]Well，doyouordon’tyou？
MALONE。Whatbusinessisthatofyours？
Straker，nowhighlyindignant，comesbackfromthestepsandconfrontsthevisitor。
STRAKER。I’lltellyouwhatbusinessitisofmine。MissRobinson——
MALONE。[interrupting]Oh，hernameisRobinson，isit？Thankyou。
STRAKER。Why，youdon’tknowevenhername？
MALONE。YesIdo，nowthatyou’vetoldme。
STRAKER。[afteramomentofstupefactionattheoldman’sreadinessinrepartee]Lookhere：whatdoyoumeanbygittinintomycarandlettinmebringyouhereifyou’renotthepersonI
tookthatnoteto？
MALONE。Whoelsedidyoutakeitto，pray？
STRAKER。ItookittoMrEctorMalone，atMissRobinson’srequest，see？MissRobinsonisnotmyprincipal：Itookittoobligeher。IknowMrMalone；andheain’tyou，notbyalongchalk。AtthehoteltheytoldmethatyournameisEctorMalone。
MALONE。HectorMalone。
STRAKER。[withcalmsuperiority]Hectorinyourowncountry：
that’swhatcomesolivininprovincialplaceslikeIrelandandAmerica。Overhereyou’reEctor：ifyouavn’tnoticeditbeforeyousoonwill。
ThegrowingstrainoftheconversationishererelievedbyViolet，whohassalliedfromthevillaandthroughthegardentothesteps，whichshenowdescends，comingveryopportunelybetweenMaloneandStraker。
VIOLET。[toStraker]Didyoutakemymessage？
STRAKER。Yes，miss。Itookittothehotelandsentitup，expectingtoseeyoungMrMalone。Thenoutwalksthisgent，andsaysit’sallrightandhe’llcomewithme。SoasthehotelpeoplesaidhewasMrEctorMalone，Ifetchedhim。Andnowhegoesbackonwhathesaid。Butifheisn’tthegentlemanyoumeant，saytheword：it’seasyenoughtofetchhimbackagain。
MALONE。IshouldesteemitagreatfavorifImighthaveashortconversationwithyou，madam。IamHector’sfather，asthisbrightBritisherwouldhaveguessedinthecourseofanotherhourorso。
STRAKER。[coollydefiant]No，notinanotheryearorso。Whenwe’veadyouaslongtopolishupaswe’veadim，perhapsyou’llbegintolookalittlebituptoismark。Atpresentyoufallalongwayshort。You’vegottoomanyaitches，foronething。[ToViolet，amiably]Allright，Miss：youwanttotalktohim：I
shan’tintrude。[HenodsaffablytoMaloneandgoesoutthroughthelittlegateinthepaling]。
VIOLET。[verycivilly]Iamsosorry，MrMalone，ifthatmanhasbeenrudetoyou。Butwhatcanwedo？Heisourchauffeur。
MALONE。Yourwhat？
VIOLET。Thedriverofourautomobile。Hecandriveamotorcaratseventymilesanhour，andmenditwhenitbreaksdown。Wearedependentonourmotorcars；andourmotorcarsaredependentonhim；soofcoursewearedependentonhim。
MALONE。I’venoticed，madam，thateverythousanddollarsanEnglishmangetsseemstoaddonetothenumberofpeoplehe’sdependenton。However，youneedn’tapologizeforyourman：Imadehimtalkonpurpose。BydoingsoIlearntthatyou’restayinghereinGrannidawithapartyofEnglish，includingmysonHector。
VIOLET。[conversationally]Yes。WeintendedtogotoNice；butwehadtofollowarathereccentricmemberofourpartywhostartedfirstandcamehere。Won’tyousitdown？[Sheclearsthenearestchairofthetwobooksonit]。
MALONE。[impressedbythisattention]Thankyou。[Hesitsdown，examininghercuriouslyasshegoestotheirontabletoputdownthebooks。Whensheturnstohimagain，hesays]MissRobinson，I
believe？
VIOLET。[sittingdown]Yes。
MALONE。[Takingaletterfromhispocket]YournotetoHectorrunsasfollows[Violetisunabletorepressastart。Hepausesquietlytotakeoutandputonhisspectacles，whichhavegoldrims]：\"Dearest：theyhaveallgonetotheAlhambrafortheafternoon。Ihaveshammedheadacheandhavethegardenalltomyself。JumpintoJack’smotor：Strakerwillrattleyouhereinajiffy。Quick，quick，quick。YourlovingViolet。\"[Helooksather；butbythistimeshehasrecoveredherself，andmeetshisspectacleswithperfectcomposure。Hecontinuesslowly]NowI
don’tknowonwhattermsyoungpeopleassociateinEnglishsociety；butinAmericathatnotewouldbeconsideredtoimplyaveryconsiderabledegreeofaffectionateintimacybetweentheparties。
VIOLET。Yes：Iknowyoursonverywell，MrMalone。Haveyouanyobjection？
MALONE。[somewhattakenaback]No，noobjectionexactly。Provideditisunderstoodthatmysonisaltogetherdependentonme，andthatIhavetobeconsultedinanyimportantstephemayproposetotake。
VIOLET。Iamsureyouwouldnotbeunreasonablewithhim，MrMalone。
MALONE。Ihopenot，MissRobinson；butatyourageyoumightthinkmanythingsunreasonablethatdon’tseemsotome。
VIOLET。[withalittleshrug]Ohwell，Isupposethere’snouseourplayingatcrosspurposes，MrMalone。Hectorwantstomarryme。
MALONE。Iinferredfromyournotethathemight。Well，MissRobinson，heishisownmaster；butifhemarriesyouheshallnothavearapfromme。[Hetakesoffhisspectaclesandpocketsthemwiththenote]。
VIOLET。[withsomeseverity]Thatisnotverycomplimentarytome，MrMalone。
MALONE。Isaynothingagainstyou，MissRobinson：Idaresayyouareanamiableandexcellentyounglady。ButIhaveotherviewsforHector。
VIOLET。Hectormaynothaveotherviewsforhimself，MrMalone。
MALONE。Possiblynot。Thenhedoeswithoutme：that’sall。I
daresayyouarepreparedforthat。Whenayoungladywritestoayoungmantocometoherquick，quick，quick，moneyseemsnothingandloveseemseverything。
VIOLET。[sharply]Ibegyourpardon，MrMalone：Idonotthinkanythingsofoolish。Hectormusthavemoney。
MALONE。[staggered]Oh，verywell，verywell。Nodoubthecanworkforit。
VIOLET。Whatistheuseofhavingmoneyifyouhavetoworkforit？[Sherisesimpatiently]。It’sallnonsense，MrMalone：youmustenableyoursontokeepuphisposition。Itishisright。
MALONE。[grimly]Ishouldnotadviseyoutomarryhimonthestrengthofthatright，MissRobinson。
Violet，whohasalmostlosthertemper，controlsherselfwithaneffort；unclenchesherfingers；andresumesherseatwithstudiedtranquillityandreasonableness。
VIOLET。Whatobjectionhaveyoutome，pray？MysocialpositionisasgoodasHector’s，tosaytheleast。Headmitsit。
MALONE。[shrewdly]Youtellhimsofromtimetotime，eh？
Hector’ssocialpositioninEngland，MissRobinson，isjustwhatIchoosetobuyforhim。Ihavemadehimafairoffer。Lethimpickoutthemosthistorichouse，castleorabbeythatEnglandcontains。Thedaythathetellsmehewantsitforawifeworthyofitstraditions，Ibuyitforhim，andgivehimthemeansofkeepingitup。
VIOLET。Whatdoyoumeanbyawifeworthyofitstraditions？
Cannotanywellbredwomankeepsuchahouseforhim？
MALONE。No：shemustbeborntoit。
VIOLET。Hectorwasnotborntoit，washe？
MALONE。HisgranmotherwasabarefootedIrishgirlthatnursedmebyaturffire。Lethimmarryanothersuch，andIwillnotstinthermarriageportion。Lethimraisehimselfsociallywithmymoneyorraisesomebodyelsesolongasthereisasocialprofitsomewhere，I’llregardmyexpenditureasjustified。Buttheremustbeaprofitforsomeone。Amarriagewithyouwouldleavethingsjustwheretheyare。
VIOLET。Manyofmyrelationswouldobjectverymuchtomymarryingthegrandsonofacommonwoman，MrMalone。Thatmaybeprejudice；butsoisyourdesiretohavehimmarryatitleprejudice。
MALONE。[rising，andapproachingherwithascrutinyinwhichthereisagooddealofreluctantrespect]Youseemaprettystraightforwarddownrightsortofayoungwoman。
VIOLET。IdonotseewhyIshouldbemademiserablypoorbecauseIcannotmakeprofitsforyou。WhydoyouwanttomakeHectorunhappy？
MALONE。Hewillgetoveritallrightenough。Menthrivebetterondisappointmentsinlovethanondisappointmentsinmoney。I
daresayyouthinkthatsordid；butIknowwhatI’mtalkingabout。
MyfatherdiedofstarvationinIrelandintheblack47，Maybeyou’veheardofit。
VIOLET。TheFamine？
MALONE。[withsmoulderingpassion]No，thestarvation。Whenacountryisfulloffood，andexportingit，therecanbenofamine。Myfatherwasstarveddead；andIwasstarvedouttoAmericainmymother’sarms。EnglishruledrovemeandmineoutofIreland。Well，youcankeepIreland。IandmylikearecomingbacktobuyEngland；andwe’llbuythebestofit。IwantnomiddleclasspropertiesandnomiddleclasswomenforHector。
That’sstraightforwardisn’tit，likeyourself？
VIOLET。[icilypityinghissentimentality]Really，MrMalone，I
amastonishedtohearamanofyourageandgoodsensetalkinginthatromanticway。DoyousupposeEnglishnoblemenwillselltheirplacestoyoufortheasking？
MALONE。IhavetherefusaloftwooftheoldestfamilymansionsinEngland。Onehistoricownercan’taffordtokeepalltheroomsdusted：theothercan’taffordthedeathduties。Whatdoyousaynow？
VIOLET。Ofcourseitisveryscandalous；butsurelyyouknowthattheGovernmentwillsoonerorlaterputastoptoalltheseSocialisticattacksonproperty。
MALONE。[grinning]D’y’thinkthey’llbeabletogetthatdonebeforeIbuythehouse——orrathertheabbey？They’rebothabbeys。
VIOLET。[puttingthatasideratherimpatiently]Oh，well，letustalksense，MrMalone。Youmustfeelthatwehaven’tbeentalkingsensesofar。
MALONE。Ican’tsayIdo。ImeanallIsay。
VIOLET。Thenyoudon’tknowHectorasIdo。Heisromanticandfaddy——hegetsitfromyou，Ifancy——andhewantsacertainsortofwifetotakecareofhim。Notafaddysortofperson，youknow。
MALONE。Somebodylikeyou，perhaps？
VIOLET。[quietly]Well，yes。Butyoucannotverywellaskmetoundertakethiswithabsolutelynomeansofkeepinguphisposition。
MALONE。[alarmed]Stopabit，stopabit。Wherearewegettingto？I’mnotawarethatI’maskingyoutoundertakeanything。
VIOLET。Ofcourse，MrMalone，youcanmakeitverydifficultformetospeaktoyouifyouchoosetomisunderstandme。
MALONE。[halfbewildered]Idon’twishtotakeanyunfairadvantage；butweseemtohavegotoffthestraighttracksomehow。
Straker，withtheairofamanwhohasbeenmakinghaste，opensthelittlegate，andadmitsHector，who，snortingwithindignation，comesuponthelawn，andismakingforhisfatherwhenViolet，greatlydismayed，springsupandinterceptshim。
Strakerdoernotwait；atleasthedoesnotremainvisiblywithinearshot。
VIOLET。Oh，howunlucky！Nowplease，Hector，saynothing。GoawayuntilIhavefinishedspeakingtoyourfather。
HECTOR。[inexorably]No，Violet：Imeantohavethisthingout，rightaway。[Heputsheraside；passesherby；andfaceshisfather，whosecheeksdarkenashisIrishbloodbeginstosimmer]。
Dad：you’venotplayedthishandstraight。
MALONE。Hwatd’y’mean？
HECTOR。You’veopenedaletteraddressedtome。You’veimpersonatedmeandstolenamarchonthislady。That’sdishonorable。
MALONE。[threateningly]Nowyoutakecarewhatyou’resaying，Hector。Takecare，Itellyou。
HECTOR。Ihavetakencare。Iamtakingcare。I’mtakingcareofmyhonorandmypositioninEnglishsociety。
MALONE。[hotly]Yourpositionhasbeengotbymymoney：doyouknowthat？
HECTOR。Well，you’vejustspoileditallbyopeningthatletter。
AletterfromanEnglishlady，notaddressedtoyou——aconfidentialletter！adelicateletter！aprivateletteropenedbymyfather！That’sasortofthingamancan’tstruggleagainstinEngland。Thesoonerwegobacktogetherthebetter。[Heappealsmutelytotheheavenstowitnesstheshameandanguishoftwooutcasts]。
VIOLET。[snubbinghimwithaninstinctivedislikeforscenemaking]Don’tbeunreasonable，Hector。ItwasquitenaturalofMrMalonetoopenmyletter：hisnamewasontheenvelope。
MALONE。There！You’venocommonsense，Hector。Ithankyou，MissRobinson。
HECTOR。Ithankyou，too。It’sverykindofyou。Myfatherknowsnobetter。
MALONE。[furiouslyclenchinghisfists]Hector——
HECTOR。[withundauntedmoralforce]Oh，it’snousehectoringme。Aprivateletter’saprivateletter，dad：youcan’tgetoverthat。
MALONE[raisinghisvoice]Iwon’tbetalkedbacktobyyou，d’y’hear？
VIOLET。Ssh！please，please。Heretheyallcome。
Fatherandson，checked，glaremutelyatoneanotherasTannercomesinthroughthelittlegatewithRamsden，followedbyOctaviusandAnn。
VIOLET。Backalready！
TANNER。TheAlhambraisnotopenthisafternoon。
VIOLET。Whatasell！
Tannerpasseson，andpresentlyfindshimselfbetweenHectorandastrangeelder，bothapparentlyonthevergeofpersonalcombat。
Helooksfromonetotheotherforanexplanation。Theysulkilyavoidhiseye，andnursetheirwrathinsilence。
RAMSDEN。Isitwiseforyoutobeoutinthesunshinewithsuchaheadache，Violet？
TANNER。Haveyourecoveredtoo，Malone？
VIOLET。Oh，Iforgot。Wehavenotallmetbefore。MrMalone：
won’tyouintroduceyourfather？
HECTOR。[withRomanfirmness]No，Iwillnot。Heisnofatherofmine。
MALONE。[veryangry]YoudisownyourdadbeforeyourEnglishfriends，doyou？
VIOLET。Ohpleasedon’tmakeascene。
AnnandOctavius，lingeringnearthegate，exchangeanastonishedglance，anddiscreetlywithdrawupthestepstothegarden，wheretheycanenjoythedisturbancewithoutintruding。OntheirwaytothestepsAnnsendsalittlegrimaceofmutesympathytoViolet，whoisstandingwithherbacktothelittletable，lookingoninhelplessannoyanceasherhusbandsoarstohigherandhighermoraleminenceswithouttheleastregardtotheoldman’smillions。
HECTOR。I’mverysorry，MissRobinson；butI’mcontendingforaprinciple。Iamason，and，Ihope，adutifulone；butbeforeeverythingI’maMan！！！Andwhendadtreatsmyprivatelettersashisown，andtakesitonhimselftosaythatIshan’tmarryyouifIamhappyandfortunateenoughtogainyourconsent，thenI
justsnapmyfingersandgomyownway。
TANNER。MarryViolet！
RAMSDEN。Areyouinyoursenses？
TANNER。Doyouforgetwhatwetoldyou？
HECTOR。[recklessly]Idon’tcarewhatyoutoldme。
RAMSDEN。[scandalized]Tuttut，sir！Monstrous！[heflingsawaytowardsthegate，hiselbowsquiveringwithindignation]
TANNER。Anothermadman！Thesemeninloveshouldbelockedup。
[HegivesHectorupashopeless，andturnsawaytowardsthegarden，butMalone，takingoffenceinanewdirection，followshimandcompelshim，bytheaggressivenesofhistone，tostop]。
MALONE。Idon’tunderstandthis。IsHectornotgoodenoughforthislady，pray？
TANNER。Mydearsir，theladyismarriedalready。Hectorknowsit；andyethepersistsinhisinfatuation。Takehimhomeandlockhimup。
MALONE。[bitterly]Sothisisthehigh—bornsocialtoneI’vespoiltbymyignorant，uncultivatedbehavior！Makinlovetoamarriedwoman！[HecomesangrilybetweenHectorandViolet，andalmostbawlsintoHector’sleftear]You’vepickedupthathabitoftheBritisharistocracy，haveyou？
HECTOR。That’sallright。Don’tyoutroubleyourselfaboutthat。
I’llanswerforthemoralityofwhatI’mdoing。
TANNER。[comingforwardtoHector’srighthandwithflashingeyes]Wellsaid，Malone！Youalsoseethatmeremarriagelawsarenotmorality！Iagreewithyou；butunfortunatelyVioletdoesnot。
MALONE。Itakeleavetodoubtthat，sir。[TurningonViolet]Letmetellyou，MrsRobinson，orwhateveryourrightnameis，youhadnorighttosendthatlettertomysonwhenyouwerethewifeofanotherman。
HECTOR。[outraged]Thisisthelaststraw。Dad：youhaveinsultedmywife。
MALONE。YOURwife！
TANNER。YOUthemissinghusband！Anothermoralimpostor！[Hesmiteshisbrow，andcollapsesintoMalone’schair]。
MALONE。You’vemarriedwithoutmyconsent！
RAMSDEN。Youhavedeliberatelyhumbuggedus，sir！
HECTOR。Here：Ihavehadjustaboutenoughofbeingbadgered。
VioletandIaremarried：that’sthelongandtheshortofit。
Nowwhathaveyougottosay——anyofyou？
MALONE。IknowwhatI’vegottosay。She’smarriedabeggar。
HECTOR。No；she’smarriedaWorker[hisAmericanpronunciationimpartsanoverwhelmingintensitytothissimpleandunpopularword]。Istarttoearnmyownlivingthisveryafternoon。
MALONE。[sneeringangrily]Yes：you’reverypluckynow，becauseyougotyourremittancefrommeyesterdayorthismorning，I
reckon。Waittilit’sspent。Youwon’tbesofullofcheekthen。
HECTOR。[producingaletterfromhispocketbook]Hereitis[thrustingitonhisfather]。Nowyoujusttakeyourremittanceandyourselfoutofmylife。I’mdonewithremittances；andI’mdonewithyou。Idon’tselltheprivilegeofinsultingmywifeforathousanddollars。
MALONE。[deeplywoundedandfullofconcern]Hector：youdon’tknowwhatpovertyis。
HECTOR。[fervidly]Well，Iwanttoknowwhatitis。Iwant’beaMan。Violet：youcomealongwithme，toyourownhome：I’llseeyouthrough。
OCTAVIUS。[jumpingdownfromthegardentothelawnandrunningtoHector’slefthand]Ihopeyou’llshakehandswithmebeforeyougo，Hector。IadmireandrespectyoumorethanIcansay。[Heisaffectedalmosttotearsastheyshakehands]。
VIOLET。[alsoalmostintears，butofvexation]Ohdon’tbeanidiot，Tavy。Hector’saboutasfittobecomeaworkmanasyouare。
TANNER。[risingfromhischairontheotherrideofHector]Neverfear：there’snoquestionofhisbecominganavvy，MrsMalone。
[ToHector]There’sreallynodifficultyaboutcapitaltostartwith。Treatmeasafriend：drawonme。
OCTAVIUS。[impulsively]Oronme。
MALONE。[withfiercejealousy]Whowantsyourdirtymoney？Whoshouldhedrawonbuthisownfather？[TannerandOctaviusrecoil，Octaviusratherhurt，Tannerconsoledbythesolutionofthemoneydifficulty。Violetlooksuphopefully]。Hector：don’tberash，myboy。I’msorryforwhatIsaid：InevermeanttoinsultViolet：Itakeitallback。She’sjustthewifeyouwant：
there！
HECTOR。[Pattinghimontheshoulder]Well，that’sallright，dad。Saynomore：we’refriendsagain。Only，Itakenomoneyfromanybody。
MALONE。[pleadingabjectly]Don’tbehardonme，Hector。I’dratheryouquarrelledandtookthemoneythanmadefriendsandstarved。Youdon’tknowwhattheworldis：Ido。
HECTOR。No，no，NO。That’sfixed：that’snotgoingtochange。[Hepasseshisfatherinexorablyby，andgoestoViolet]。Come，MrsMalone：you’vegottomovetothehotelwithme，andtakeyourproperplacebeforetheworld。
VIOLET。ButImustgoin，dear，andtellDavistopack。Won’tyougoonandmakethemgiveyouaroomoverlookingthegardenforme？I’lljoinyouinhalfanhour。
HECTOR。Verywell。You’lldinewithus，Dad，won’tyou？
MALONE。[eagertoconciliatehim]Yes，yes。
HECTOR。Seeyoualllater。[HewaveshishandtoAnn，whohasnowbeenjoinedbyTanner，Octavius，andRamsdeninthegarden，andgoesoutthroughthelittlegate，leavinghisfatherandViolettogetheronthelawn]。
MALONE。You’lltrytobringhimtohissenses，Violet：Iknowyouwill。
VIOLET。Ihadnoideahecouldbesoheadstrong。Ifhegoesonlikethat，whatcanIdo？
MALONE。Don’tbediscurridged：domesticpressuremaybeslow；butit’ssure。You’llwearhimdown。Promisemeyouwill。
VIOLET。Iwilldomybest。OfcourseIthinkit’sthegreatestnonsensedeliberatelymakinguspoorlikethat。
MALONE。Ofcourseitis。
VIOLET。[afteramoment’sreflection]Youhadbettergivemetheremittance。Hewillwantitforhishotelbill。I’llseewhetherIcaninducehimtoacceptit。Notnow，ofcourse，butpresently。
MALONE。[eagerly]Yes，yes，yes：that’sjustthething[hehandsherthethousanddollarbill，andaddscunningly]Y’understandthatthisisonlyabachelorallowance。
VIOLET。[Coolly]Oh，quite。[Shetakesit]。Thankyou。Bytheway，MrMalone，thosetwohousesyoumentioned——theabbeys。
MALONE。Yes？
VIOLET。Don’ttakeoneofthemuntilI’veseenit。Oneneverknowswhatmaybewrongwiththeseplaces。
MALONE。Iwon’t。I’lldonothingwithoutconsultingyou，neverfear。
VIOLET。[politely，butwithoutarayofgratitude]Thanks：thatwillbemuchthebestway。[Shegoescalmlybacktothevilla，escortedobsequiouslybyMalonetotheupperendofthegarden]。
TANNER。[drawingRamsden’sattentiontoMalone’scringingattitudeashetakesleaveofViolet]Andthatpoordevilisabillionaire！oneofthemasterspiritsoftheage！Ledonastringlikeapugdogbythefirstgirlwhotakesthetroubletodespisehim。Iwonderwillitevercometothatwithme。[Hecomesdowntothelawn。]
RAMSDEN。[followinghim]Thesoonerthebetterforyou。
MALONE。[clappinghishandsashereturnsthroughthegarden]
That’llbeagrandwomanforHector。Iwouldn’texchangeherfortenduchesses。[HedescendstothelawnandcomesbetweenTannerandRamsden]。
RAMSDEN。[veryciviltothebillionaire]It’sanunexpectedpleasuretofindyouinthiscorneroftheworld，MrMalone。HaveyoucometobuyuptheAlhambra？
MALONE。Well，Idon’tsayImightn’t。IthinkIcoulddobetterwithitthantheSpanishgovernment。Butthat’snotwhatIcameabout。Totellyouthetruth，aboutamonthagoIoverheardadealbetweentwomenoverabundleofshares。Theydifferedabouttheprice：theywereyoungandgreedy，anddidn’tknowthatiftheshareswereworthwhatwasbidforthemtheymustbeworthwhatwasasked，themarginbeingtoosmalltobeofanyaccount，yousee。Toamusemeself，Icutinandboughttheshares。Well，tothisdayIhaven’tfoundoutwhatthebusinessis。Theofficeisinthistown；andthenameisMendoza，Limited。NowwhetherMendoza’samine，orasteamboatline，orabank，orapatentarticle——
TANNER。He’saman。Iknowhim：hisprinciplesarethoroughlycommercial。Letustakeyouroundthetowninourmotor，MrMalone，andcallonhimontheway。
MALONE。Ifyou’llbesokind，yes。AndmayIaskwho——
TANNER。MrRoebuckRamsden，averyoldfriendofyourdaughter—in—law。
MALONE。Happytomeetyou，MrRamsden。
RAMSDEN。Thankyou。MrTannerisalsooneofourcircle。
MALONE。Gladtoknowyoualso，MrTanner。
TANNER。Thanks。[MaloneandRamsdengooutveryamicablythroughthelittlegate。TannercallstoOctavius，whoiswanderinginthegardenwithAnn]Tavy！[Tavycomestothesteps，Tannerwhispersloudlytohim]Violethasmarriedafinancierofbrigands。[TannerhurriesawaytoovertakeMaloneandRamsden。
AnnstrollstothestepswithanidleimpulsetotormentOctavius]。
ANN。Won’tyougowiththem，Tavy？
OCTAVIUS。[tearssuddenlyflushinghiseyes]Youcutmetotheheart，Ann，bywantingmetogo[hecomesdownonthelawntohidehisfacefromher。Shefollowshimcaressingly]。
ANN。PoorRickyTickyTavy！Poorheart！
OCTAVIUS。Itbelongstoyou，Ann。Forgiveme：Imustspeakofit。
Iloveyou。YouknowIloveyou。
ANN。What’sthegood，Tavy？YouknowthatmymotherisdeterminedthatIshallmarryJack。
OCTAVIUS。[amazed]Jack！
ANN。Itseemsabsurd，doesn’tit？
OCTAVIUS。[withgrowingresentment]DoyoumeantosaythatJackhasbeenplayingwithmeallthistime？Thathehasbeenurgingmenottomarryyoubecauseheintendstomarryyouhimself？
ANN。[alarmed]Nono：youmustn’tleadhimtobelievethatIsaidthat：Idon’tforamomentthinkthatJackknowshisownmind。
Butit’sclearfrommyfather’swillthathewishedmetomarryJack。Andmymotherissetonit。
OCTAVIUS。Butyouarenotboundtosacrificeyourselfalwaystothewishesofyourparents。
ANN。Myfatherlovedme。Mymotherlovesme。Surelytheirwishesareabetterguidethanmyownselfishness。
OCTAVIUS。Oh，Iknowhowunselfishyouare，Ann。Butbelieveme——
thoughIknowIamspeakinginmyowninterest——thereisanothersidetothisquestion。IsitfairtoJacktomarryhimifyoudonotlovehim？Isitfairtodestroymyhappinessaswellasyourownifyoucanbringyourselftoloveme？
ANN。[lookingathimwithafaintimpulseofpity]Tavy，mydear，youareanicecreature——agoodboy。
OCTAVIUS。[humiliated]Isthatall？
ANN。[mischievouslyinspiteofherpity]That’sagreatdeal，I
assureyou。YouwouldalwaysworshipthegroundItrodon，wouldn’tyou？
OCTAVIUS。Ido。Itsoundsridiculous；butit’snoexaggeration。I
do；andIalwaysshall。
ANN。Alwaysisalongword，Tavy。Yousee，Ishallhavetoliveupalwaystoyourideaofmydivinity；andIdon’tthinkIcoulddothatifweweremarried。ButifImarryJack，you’llneverbedisillusioned——atleastnotuntilIgrowtooold。
OCTAVIUS。Itooshallgrowold，Ann。AndwhenIameighty，onewhitehairofthewomanIlovewillmakemetremblemorethanthethickestgoldtressfromthemostbeautifulyounghead。
ANN。[quitetouched]Oh，that’spoetry，Tavy，realpoetry。Itgivesmethatstrangesuddensenseofanechofromaformerexistencewhichalwaysseemstomesuchastrikingproofthatwehaveimmortalsouls。
OCTAVIUS。Doyoubelievethatistrue？
ANN。Tavy，ifitistobecometrueyoumustlosemeaswellasloveme。
OCTAVIUS。Oh！[hehastilysitsdownatthelittletableandcovershisfacewithhishands]。
ANN。[withconviction]Tavy：Iwouldn’tforworldsdestroyyourillusions。Icanneithertakeyounorletyougo。Icanseeexactlywhatwillsuityou。Youmustbeasentimentaloldbachelorformysake。
OCTAVIUS。[desperately]Ann：I’llkillmyself。
ANN。Ohnoyouwon’t：thatwouldn’tbekind。Youwon’thaveabadtime。Youwillbeverynicetowomen；andyouwillgoagooddealtotheopera。AbrokenheartisaverypleasantcomplaintforamaninLondonifhehasacomfortableincome。
OCTAVIUS。[considerablycooled，butbelievingthatheisonlyrecoveringhisself—control]Iknowyoumeantobekind，Ann。
Jackhaspersuadedyouthatcynicismisagoodtonicforme。[Heriseswithquietdignity]。
ANN。[studyinghimslyly]Yousee，I’mdisillusionizingyoualready。That’swhatIdread。
OCTAVIUS。YoudonotdreaddisillusionizingJack。
ANN。[herfacelightingupwithmischievousecstasy——whispering]I
can’t：hehasnoillusionsaboutme。IshallsurpriseJacktheotherway。Gettingoveranunfavorableimpressioniseversomucheasierthanlivinguptoanideal。Oh，IshallenraptureJacksometimes！
OCTAVIUS。[resumingthecalmphaseofdespair，andbeginningtoenjoyhisbrokenheartanddelicateattitudewithoutknowingit]
Idon’tdoubtthat。Youwillenrapturehimalways。Andhe——thefool！——thinksyouwouldmakehimwretched。
ANN。Yes：that’sthedifficulty，sofar。
OCTAVIUS。[heroically]ShallItellhimthatyoulove？
ANN。[quickly]Ohno：he’drunawayagain。
OCTAVIUS。[shocked]Ann：wouldyoumarryanunwillingman？
ANN。Whataqueercreatureyouare，Tavy！There’snosuchthingasawillingmanwhenyoureallygoforhim。[Shelaughsnaughtily]。I’mshockingyou，Isuppose。Butyouknowyouarereallygettingasortofsatisfactionalreadyinbeingoutofdangeryourself。
OCTAVIUS[startled]Satisfaction！[Reproachfully]Yousaythattome！
ANN。Well，ifitwerereallyagony，wouldyouaskformoreofit？
OCTAVIUS。HaveIaskedformoreofit？
ANN。YouhaveofferedtotellJackthatIlovehim。That’sself—sacrifice，Isuppose；buttheremustbesomesatisfactioninit。Perhapsit’sbecauseyou’reapoet。Youarelikethebirdthatpressesitsbreastagainstthesharpthorntomakeitselfsing。
OCTAVIUS。It’squitesimple。Iloveyou；andIwantyoutobehappy。Youdon’tloveme；soIcan’tmakeyouhappymyself；butI
canhelpanothermantodoit。
ANN。Yes：itseemsquitesimple。ButIdoubtifweeverknowwhywedothings。Theonlyreallysimplethingistogostraightforwhatyouwantandgrabit。IsupposeIdon’tloveyou，Tavy；butsometimesIfeelasifIshouldliketomakeamanofyousomehow。Youareveryfoolishaboutwomen。
OCTAVIUS。[almostcoldly]IamcontenttobewhatIaminthatrespect。
ANN。Thenyoumustkeepawayfromthem，andonlydreamaboutthem。Iwouldn’tmarryyouforworlds，Tavy。
OCTAVIUS。Ihavenohope，Ann：Iacceptmyillluck。ButIdon’tthinkyouquiteknowhowmuchithurts。
ANN。Youaresosofthearted！It’squeerthatyoushouldbesodifferentfromViolet。Violet’sashardasnails。
OCTAVIUS。Ohno。IamsureVioletisthoroughlywomanlyatheart。
ANN。[withsomeimpatience]Whydoyousaythat？Isitunwomanlytobethoughtfulandbusinesslikeandsensible？DoyouwantViolettobeanidiot——orsomethingworse，likeme？
OCTAVIUS。Somethingworse——likeyou！Whatdoyoumean，Ann？
ANN。Ohwell，Idon’tmeanthat，ofcourse。ButIhaveagreatrespectforViolet。Shegetsherownwayalways。
OCTAVIUS。[sighing]Sodoyou。
ANN。Yes；butsomehowshegetsitwithoutcoaxing——withouthavingtomakepeoplesentimentalabouther。
OCTAVIUS。[withbrotherlycallousness]NobodycouldgetverysentimentalaboutViolet，Ithink，prettyassheis。
ANN。Ohyestheycould，ifshemadethem。
OCTAVIUS。Butsurelynoreallynicewomanwoulddeliberatelypractiseonmen’sinstinctsinthatway。
ANN。[throwingupherhands]OhTavy，Tavy，RickyTickyTavy，heavenhelpthewomanwhomarriesyou！
OCTAVIUS。[hispassionrevivingatthename]Ohwhy，why，whydoyousaythat？Don’ttormentme。Idon’tunderstand。
ANN。Supposesheweretotellfibs，andlaysnaresformen？
OCTAVIUS。DoyouthinkIcouldmarrysuchawoman——I，whohaveknownandlovedyou？
ANN。Hm！Well，atallevents，shewouldn’tletyouifshewerewise。Sothat’ssettled。AndnowIcan’ttalkanymore。Sayyouforgiveme，andthatthesubjectisclosed。
OCTAVIUS。Ihavenothingtoforgive；andthesubjectisclosed。
Andifthewoundisopen，atleastyoushallneverseeitbleed。
ANN。Poetictothelast，Tavy。Goodbye，dear。[Shepatshischeck；hasanimpulsetokisshimandthenanotherimpulseofdistastewhichpreventsher；finallyrunsawaythroughthegardenandintothevilla]。
Octaviusagaintakesrefugeatthetable，bowinghisheadonhisarmsandsobbingsoftly。MrsWhitefield，whohasbeenpotteringroundtheGranadashops，andhasanetfulloflittleparcelsinherhand，comesinthroughthegateandseeshim。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[runningtohimandliftinghishead]What’sthematter，Tavy？Areyouill？
OCTAVIUS。No，nothing，nothing。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[stillholdinghishead，anxiously]Butyou’recrying。IsitaboutViolet’smarriage？
OCTAVIUS。No，no。WhotoldyouaboutViolet？
MRSWHITEFIELD。[restoringtheheadtoitsowner]ImetRoebuckandthatawfuloldIrishman。Areyousureyou’renotill？What’sthematter？
OCTAVIUS。[affectionately]It’snothing——onlyaman’sbrokenheart。Doesn’tthatsoundridiculous？
MRSWHITEFIELD。Butwhatisitallabout？HasAnnbeendoinganythingtoyou？
OCTAVIUS。It’snotAnn’sfault。Anddon’tthinkforamomentthatIblameyou。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[startled]Forwhat？
OCTAVIUS。[pressingherhandconsolingly]Fornothing。IsaidI
didn’tblameyou。
MRSWHITEFIELD。ButIhaven’tdoneanything。What’sthematter？
OCTAVIUS。[smilingsadly]Can’tyouguess？IdaresayyouarerighttopreferJacktomeasahusbandforAnn；butIloveAnn；
andithurtsrather。[Herisesandmovesawayfromhertowardsthemiddleofthelawn]。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[followinghimhastily]DoesAnnsaythatIwanthertomarryJack？
OCTAVIUS。Yes：shehastoldme。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[thoughtfully]ThenI’mverysorryforyou，Tavy。
It’sonlyherwayofsayingSHEwantstomarryJack。LittleshecareswhatIsayorwhatIwant！
OCTAVIUS。Butshewouldnotsayitunlessshebelievedit。Surelyyoudon’tsuspectAnnof——ofDECEIT！！
MRSWHITEFIELD。Well，nevermind，Tavy。Idon’tknowwhichisbestforayoungman：toknowtoolittle，likeyou，ortoomuch，likeJack。
Tannerreturns。
TANNER。Well，I’vedisposedofoldMalone。I’veintroducedhimtoMendoza，Limited；andleftthetwobrigandstogethertotalkitout。Hullo，Tavy！anythingwrong？
OCTAVIUS。Imustgowashmyface，Isee。[ToMrsWhitefield]Tellhimwhatyouwish。[ToTanner]Youmaytakeitfromme，Jack，thatAnnapprovesofit。
TANNER。[puzzledbyhismanner]Approvesofwhat？
OCTAVIUS。OfwhatMrsWhitefieldwishes。[Hegoeshiswaywithsaddignitytothevilla]。
TANNER。[toMrsWhitefield]Thisisverymysterious。Whatisityouwish？Itshallbedone，whateveritis。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[withsnivellinggratitude]Thankyou，Jack。[Shesitsdown。Tannerbringstheotherchairfromthetableandsitsclosetoherwithhiselbowsonhisknees，givingherhiswholeattention]。Idon’tknowwhyitisthatotherpeople’schildrenaresonicetome，andthatmyownhavesolittleconsiderationforme。It’snowonderIdon’tseemabletocareforAnnandRhodaasIdoforyouandTavyandViolet。It’saveryqueerworld。Itusedtobesostraightforwardandsimple；andnownobodyseemstothinkandfeelastheyought。NothinghasbeenrightsincethatspeechthatProfessorTyndallmadeatBelfast。
TANNER。Yes：lifeismorecomplicatedthanweusedtothink。ButwhatamItodoforyou？
MRSWHITEFIELD。That’sjustwhatIwanttotellyou。Ofcourseyou’llmarryAnnwhetherIlikeitmyselfornot——
TANNER。[starting]ItseemstomethatIshallpresentlybemarriedtoAnnwhetherIlikeitmyselfornot。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[peacefully]Oh，verylikelyyouwill：youknowwhatsheiswhenshehassethermindonanything。Butdon’tputitonme：that’sallIask。Tavyhasjustletoutthatshe’sbeensayingthatIammakinghermarryyou；andthepoorboyisbreakinghisheartaboutit；forheisinlovewithherhimself，thoughwhatheseesinhersowonderful，goodnessknows：Idon’t。
It’snousetellingTavythatAnnputsthingsintopeople’sheadsbytellingthemthatIwantthemwhenthethoughtofthemnevercrossedmymind。ItonlysetsTavyagainstme。Butyouknowbetterthanthat。Soifyoumarryher，don’tputtheblameonme。
TANNER。[emphatically]Ihaven’ttheslightestintentionofmarryingher。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[slyly]She’dsuityoubetterthanTavy。She’dmeethermatchinyou，Jack。I’dliketoseehermeethermatch。
TANNER。Nomanisamatchforawoman，exceptwithapokerandapairofhobnailedboots。Notalwayseventhen。Anyhow，Ican’ttakethepokertoher。Ishouldbeamereslave。
MRSWHITEFIELD。No：she’safraidofyou。Atallevents，youwouldtellherthetruthaboutherself。Shewouldn’tbeabletoslipoutofitasshedoeswithme。
TANNER。EverybodywouldcallmeabruteifItoldAnnthetruthaboutherselfintermsofherownmoralcode。Tobeginwith，Annsaysthingsthatarenotstrictlytrue。
MRSWHITEFIELD。I’mgladsomebodyseessheisnotanangel。
TANNER。Inshort——toputitasahusbandwouldputitwhenexasperatedtothepointofspeakingout——sheisaliar。AndsinceshehasplungedTavyheadoverearsinlovewithherwithoutanyintentionofmarryinghim，sheisacoquette，accordingtothestandarddefinitionofacoquetteasawomanwhorousespassionsshehasnointentionofgratifying。Andasshehasnowreducedyoutothepointofbeingwillingtosacrificemeatthealtarforthemeresatisfactionofgettingmetocallheraliartoherface，Imayconcludethatsheisabullyaswell。
Shecan’tbullymenasshebullieswomen；soshehabituallyandunscrupulouslyusesherpersonalfascinationtomakemengiveherwhatevershewants。ThatmakesheralmostsomethingforwhichI
knownopolitename。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[inmildexpostulation]Well，youcan’texpectperfection，Jack。
TANNER。Idon’t。ButwhatannoysmeisthatAnndoes。Iknowperfectlywellthatallthisaboutherbeingaliarandabullyandacoquetteandsoforthisatrumped—upmoralindictmentwhichmightbebroughtagainstanybody。Wealllie；weallbullyasmuchaswedare；weallbidforadmirationwithouttheleastintentionofearningit；weallgetasmuchrentaswecanoutofourpowersoffascination。IfAnnwouldadmitthisIshouldn’tquarrelwithher。Butshewon’t。Ifshehaschildrenshe’lltakeadvantageoftheirtellingliestoamuseherselfbywhackingthem。Ifanotherwomanmakeseyesatme，she’llrefusetoknowacoquette。Shewilldojustwhatshelikesherselfwhilstinsistingoneverybodyelsedoingwhattheconventionalcodeprescribes。Inshort，Icanstandeverythingexceptherconfoundedhypocrisy。That’swhatbeatsme。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[carriedawaybythereliefofhearingherownopinionsoeloquentlyexpressed]Oh，sheisahypocrite。Sheis：
sheis。Isn’tshe？
TANNER。Thenwhydoyouwanttomarrymetoher？
MRSWHITEFIELD。[querulously]Therenow！putitonme，ofcourse。
IneverthoughtofituntilTavytoldmeshesaidIdid。But，youknow，I’mveryfondofTavy：he’sasortofsontome；andI
don’twanthimtobetrampledonandmadewretched。
TANNER。WhereasIdon’tmatter，Isuppose。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Oh，youaredifferent，somehow：youareabletotakecareofyourself。You’dserveherout。Andanyhow，shemustmarrysomebody。
TANNER。Aha！therespeaksthelifeinstinct。Youdetesther；butyoufeelthatyoumustgethermarried。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[rising，shocked]DoyoumeanthatIdetestmyowndaughter！Surelyyoudon’tbelievemetobesowickedandunnaturalasthat，merelybecauseIseeherfaults。
TANNER。[cynically]Youloveher，then？
MRSWHITEFIELD。Why，ofcourseIdo。Whatqueerthingsyousay，Jack！Wecan’thelplovingourownbloodrelations。
TANNER。Well，perhapsitsavesunpleasantnesstosayso。Butformypart，Isuspectthatthetablesofconsanguinityhaveanaturalbasisinanaturalrepugnance[herises]。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Youshouldn’tsaythingslikethat，Jack。Ihopeyouwon’ttellAnnthatIhavebeenspeakingtoyou。IonlywantedtosetmyselfrightwithyouandTavy。Icouldn’tsitmumchanceandhaveeverythingputonme。
TANNER。[politely]Quiteso。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[dissatisfied]AndnowI’veonlymademattersworse。Tavy’sangrywithmebecauseIdon’tworshipAnn。Andwhenit’sbeenputintomyheadthatAnnoughttomarryyou，whatcanIsayexceptthatitwouldserveherright？
TANNER。Thankyou。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Nowdon’tbesillyandtwistwhatIsayintosomethingIdon’tmean。Ioughttohavefairplay——
Anncomesfromthevilla，followedpresentlybyViolet，whoisdressedfordriving。
ANN。[comingtohermother’srighthandwiththreateningsuavity]
Well，mammadarling，youseemtobehavingadelightfulchatwithJack。Wecanhearyouallovertheplace。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[appalled]Haveyouoverheard——
TANNER。Neverfear：Annisonly——well，wewerediscussingthathabitofhersjustnow。Shehasn’theardaword。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[stoutly]Idon’tcarewhethershehasornot：I
havearighttosaywhatIplease。
VIOLET。[arrivingonthelawnandcomingbetweenMrsWhitefieldandTanner]I’vecometosaygoodbye。I’moffformyhoneymoon。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[crying]Ohdon’tsaythat，Violet。Andnowedding，nobreakfast，noclothes，noranything。
VIOLET。[pettingher]Itwon’tbeforlong。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Don’tlethimtakeyoutoAmerica。Promisemethatyouwon’t。
VIOLET。[verydecidedly]Ishouldthinknot，indeed。Don’tcry，dear：I’monlygoingtothehotel。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Butgoinginthatdress，withyourluggage，makesonerealize——[shechokes，andthenbreaksoutagain]HowIwishyouweremydaughter，Violet！
VIOLET。[soothingher]There，there：soIam。Annwillbejealous。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Anndoesn’tcareabitforme。
ANN。Fie，mother！Come，now：youmustn’tcryanymore：youknowVioletdoesn’tlikeit[MrsWhitefzelddrieshereyes，andsubsides]。
VIOLET。Goodbye，Jack。
TANNER。Goodbye，Violet。
VIOLET。Thesooneryougetmarriedtoo，thebetter。Youwillbemuchlessmisunderstood。
TANNER。[restively]Iquiteexpecttogetmarriedinthecourseoftheafternoon。Youallseemtohavesetyourmindsonit。
VIOLET。Youmightdoworse。[ToMrsWhitefield：puttingherarmroundher]Letmetakeyoutothehotelwithme：thedrivewilldoyougood。Comeinandgetawrap。[Shetakeshertowardsthevilla]。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[astheygoupthroughthegarden]Idon’tknowwhatIshalldowhenyouaregone，withnoonebutAnninthehouse；andshealwaysoccupiedwiththemen！It’snottobeexpectedthatyourhusbandwillcaretobebotheredwithanoldwomanlikeme。Oh，youneedn’ttellme：politenessisallverywell；butIknowwhatpeoplethink——[ShetalksherselfandVioletoutofsightandhearing]。
Ann，musingonViolet’sopportuneadvice，approachesTanner；
examineshimhumorouslyforamomentfromtoetotop；andfinallydeliversheropinion。
ANN。Violetisquiteright。Yououghttogetmarried。
TANNER。[explosively]Ann：Iwillnotmarryyou。Doyouhear？I
won’t，won’t，won’t，won’t，WON’Tmarryyou。
ANN。[placidly]Well，nobodyaxdyou，sirshesaid，sirshesaid，sirshesaid。Sothat’ssettled。
TANNER。Yes，nobodyhasaskedme；buteverybodytreatsthethingassettled。It’sintheair。Whenwemeet，theothersgoawayonabsurdpretextstoleaveusalonetogether。Ramsdennolongerscowlsatme：hiseyebeams，asifhewerealreadygivingyouawaytomeinchurch。Tavyrefersmetoyourmotherandgivesmehisblessing。Strakeropenlytreatsyouashisfutureemployer：
itwashewhofirsttoldmeofit。
ANN。Wasthatwhyyouranaway？
TANNER。Yes，onlytobestoppedbyalovesickbrigandandrundownlikeatruantschoolboy。
ANN。Well，ifyoudon’twanttobemarried，youneedn’tbe[sheturnsawayfromhimandsitsdown，muchatherease]。
TANNER。[followingher]Doesanymanwanttobehanged？Yetmenletthemselvesbehangedwithoutastruggleforlife，thoughtheycouldatleastgivethechaplainablackeye。Wedotheworld’swill，notourown。IhaveafrightfulfeelingthatIshallletmyselfbemarriedbecauseitistheworld’swillthatyoushouldhaveahusband。
ANN。IdaresayIshall，someday。
TANNER。Butwhyme——meofallmen？Marriageistomeapostasy，profanationofthesanctuaryofmysoul，violationofmymanhood，saleofmybirthright，shamefulsurrender，ignominiouscapitulation，acceptanceofdefeat。Ishalldecaylikeathingthathasserveditspurposeandisdonewith；Ishallchangefromamanwithafuturetoamanwithapast；Ishallseeinthegreasyeyesofalltheotherhusbandstheirreliefatthearrivalofanewprisonertosharetheirignominy。Theyoungmenwillscornmeasonewhohassoldout：totheyoungwomenI，whohavealwaysbeenanenigmaandapossibility，shallbemerelysomebodyelse’sproperty——anddamagedgoodsatthat：asecondhandmanatbest。
ANN。Well，yourwifecanputonacapandmakeherselfuglytokeepyouincountenance，likemygrandmother。
TANNER。Sothatshemaymakehertriumphmoreinsolentbypubliclythrowingawaythebaitthemomentthetrapsnapsonthevictim！
ANN。Afterall，though，whatdifferencewoulditmake？Beautyisallverywellatfirstsight；butwhoeverlooksatitwhenithasbeeninthehousethreedays？Ithoughtourpicturesverylovelywhenpapaboughtthem；butIhaven’tlookedatthemforyears。Youneverbotheraboutmylooks：youaretoowellusedtome。Imightbetheumbrellastand。
TANNER。Youlie，youvampire：youlie。
ANN。Flatterer。Whyareyoutryingtofascinateme，Jack，ifyoudon’twanttomarryme？
TANNER。TheLifeForce。IaminthegripoftheLifeForce。
ANN。Idon’tunderstandintheleast：itsoundsliketheLifeGuards。
TANNER。Whydon’tyoumarryTavy？Heiswilling。Canyounotbesatisfiedunlessyourpreystruggles？
ANN。[turningtohimasiftolethimintoasecret]Tavywillnevermarry。Haven’tyounoticedthatthatsortofmannevermarries？
TANNER。What！amanwhoidolizeswomenwhoseesnothinginnaturebutromanticsceneryforloveduets！Tavy，thechivalrous，thefaithful，thetenderheartedandtrue！Tavynevermarry！Why，hewasborntobesweptupbythefirstpairofblueeyeshemeetsinthestreet。
ANN。Yes，Iknow。Allthesame，Jack，menlikethatalwaysliveincomfortablebachelorlodgingswithbrokenhearts，andareadoredbytheirlandladies，andnevergetmarried。Menlikeyoualwaysgetmarried。
TANNER。[Smitinghisbrow]Howfrightfully，horriblytrue！Ithasbeenstaringmeinthefaceallmylife；andIneversawitbefore。
ANN。Oh，it’sthesamewithwomen。Thepoetictemperament’saverynicetemperament，veryamiable，veryharmlessandpoetic，I
daresay；butit’sanoldmaid’stemperament。
TANNER。Barren。TheLifeForcepassesitby。
ANN。Ifthat’swhatyoumeanbytheLifeForce，yes。
TANNER。Youdon’tcareforTavy？
ANN。[lookingroundcarefullytomakesurethatTavyisnotwithinearshot]No。
TANNER。Andyoudocareforme？
ANN。[risingquietlyandshakingherfingerathim]NowJack！
Behaveyourself。
TANNER。Infamous，abandonedwoman！Devil！
ANN。Boa—constrictor！Elephant！
TANNER。Hypocrite！
ANN。[Softly]Imustbe，formyfuturehusband’ssake。
TANNER。Formine！[Correctinghimselfsavagely]Imeanforhis。
ANN。[ignoringthecorrection]Yes，foryours。Youhadbettermarrywhatyoucallahypocrite，Jack。Womenwhoarenothypocritesgoaboutinrationaldressandareinsultedandgetintoallsortsofhotwater。Andthentheirhusbandsgetdraggedintoo，andliveincontinualdreadoffreshcomplications。
Wouldn’tyoupreferawifeyoucoulddependon？
TANNER。No，athousandtimesno：hotwateristherevolutionist’selement。Youcleanmenasyoucleanmilkpails，byscaldingthem。
ANN。Coldwaterhasitsusestoo。It’shealthy。
TANNER。[despairingly]Oh，youarewitty：atthesuprememomenttheLifeForceendowsyouwitheveryquality。Well，Itoocanbeahypocrite。Yourfather’swillappointedmeyourguardian，notyoursuitor。Ishallbefaithfultomytrust。
ANN。[inlowsirentones]HeaskedmewhowouldIhaveasmyguardianbeforehemadethatwill。Ichoseyou！
TANNER。Thewillisyoursthen！Thetrapwaslaidfromthebeginning。
ANN。[concentratingallhermagic]Fromthebeginningfromourchildhood——forbothofus——bytheLifeForce。
TANNER。Iwillnotmarryyou。Iwillnotmarryyou。
ANN。Oh；youwill，youwill。
TANNER。Itellyou，no，no，no。
ANN。Itellyou，yes，yes，yes。
TANNER。NO。
ANN。[coaxing——imploring——almostexhausted]Yes。Beforeitistoolateforrepentance。Yes。
TANNER。[struckbytheechofromthepast]Whendidallthishappentomebefore？Arewetwodreaming？
ANN。[suddenlylosinghercourage，withananguishthatshedoesnotconceal]No。Weareawake；andyouhavesaidno：thatisall。
TANNER。[brutally]Well？
ANN。Well，Imadeamistake：youdonotloveme。
TANNER。[seizingherinhisarms]Itisfalse：Iloveyou。TheLifeForceenchantsme：IhavethewholeworldinmyarmswhenI
claspyou。ButIamfightingformyfreedom，formyhonor，formyself，oneandindivisible。
ANN。Yourhappinesswillbeworththemall。
TANNER。Youwouldsellfreedomandhonorandselfforhappiness？
ANN。Itwillnotbeallhappinessforme。Perhapsdeath。
TANNER。[groaning]Oh，thatclutchholdsandhurts。Whathaveyougraspedinme？Isthereafather’sheartaswellasamother’s？
ANN。Takecare，Jack：ifanyonecomeswhilewearelikethis，youwillhavetomarryme。
TANNER。Ifwetwostoodnowontheedgeofaprecipice，Iwouldholdyoutightandjump。
ANN。[panting，failingmoreandmoreunderthestrain]Jack：letmego。Ihavedaredsofrightfully——itislastinglongerthanI
thought。Letmego：Ican’tbearit。
TANNER。NorI。Letitkillus。
ANN。Yes：Idon’tcare。Iamattheendofmyforces。Idon’tcare。IthinkIamgoingtofaint。
AtthismomentVioletandOctaviuscomefromthevillawithMrsWhitefield，whoiswrappedupfordriving。SimultaneouslyMaloneandRamsden，followedbyMendozaandStraker，comeinthroughthelittlegateinthepaling。TannershamefacedlyreleasesAnn，whoraisesherhandgiddilytoherforehead。
MALONE。Takecare。Something’sthematterwiththelady。
RAMSDEN。Whatdoesthismean？
VIOLET。[runningbetweenAnnandTanner]Areyouill？
ANN。[reeling，withasupremeeffort]IhavepromisedtomarryJack。[Sheswoons。Violetkneelsbyherandchafesherband。
Tannerrunsroundtoherotherhand，andtriestoliftherbead。
OctaviusgoestoViolet’sassistance，butdoesnotknowwhattodo。MrsWhitefieldhurriesbackintothevilla。Octavius，MaloneandRamsdenruntoAnnandcrowdroundher，stoopingtoassist。
StrakercoollycomestoAnn’sfeet，andMendozatoherhead，bothuprightandself—possessed]。
STRAKER。Nowthen，ladiesandgentlemen：shedon’twantacrowdroundher：shewantsair——alltheairshecangit。Ifyouplease，gents——[MaloneandRamsdenallowhimtodrivethemgentlypastAnnandupthelawntowardsthegarden，whereOctavius，whohasalreadybecomeconsciousofhisuselessness，joinsthem。Straker，followingthemup，pausesforamomenttoinstructTanner]。Don’tliftered，MrTanner：letitgoflatso’sthebloodcanrunbackintoit。
MENDOZA。Heisright，MrTanner。TrusttotheairoftheSierra。
[Hewithdrawsdelicatelytothegardensteps]。
TANNER。[rising]Iyieldtoyoursuperiorknowledgeofphysiology，Henry。[Hewithdrawstothecornerofthelawn；andOctaviusimmediatelyhurriesdowntohim]。
TAVY。[asidetoTanner，graspinghishand]Jack：beveryhappy。
TANNER。[asidetoTavy]Ineveraskedher。Itisatrapforme。
[Hegoesupthelawntowardsthegarden。Octaviusremainspetrified]。
MENDOZA。[interceptingMrsWhitefield，whocomesfromthevillawithaglassofbrandy]Whatisthis，madam[hetakesitfromher]？
MRSWHITEFIELD。Alittlebrandy。
MENDOZA。Theworstthingyoucouldgiveher。Allowme。[Heswallowsit]。TrusttotheairoftheSierra，madam。
ForamomentthemenallforgetAnnandstareatMendoza。
ANN。[inViolet’sear，clutchingherroundtheneck]Violet，didJacksayanythingwhenIfainted？
VIOLET。No。
ANN。Ah！[withasighofintensereliefsherelapses]。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Oh，she’sfaintedagain。
Theyareabouttorushbacktoher；butMendozastopsthemwithawarninggesture。
ANN。[supinejNoIhaven’t。I’mquitehappy。
TANNER。[suddenlywalkingdeterminedlytoher，andsnatchingherhandfromViolettofeelherpulse]Why，herpulseispositivelybounding。Come，getup。Whatnonsense！Upwithyou。[Hegetsherupsummarily]。
ANN。Yes：Ifeelstrongenoughnow。Butyouverynearlykilledme，Jack，forallthat。
MALONE。Aroughwooer，eh？They’rethebestsort，MissWhitefield。IcongratulateMrTanner；andIhopetomeetyouandhimasfrequentguestsattheAbbey。
ANN。Thankyou。[ShegoespastMalonetoOctavius]RickyTickyTavy：congratulateme。[Asidetohim]Iwanttomakeyoucryforthelasttime。
TAVY。[steadfastly]Nomoretears。Iamhappyinyourhappiness。
AndIbelieveinyouinspiteofeverything。
RAMSDEN。[comingbetweenMaloneandTanner]Youareahappyman，JackTanner。Ienvyyou。
MENDOZA。[advancingbetweenVioletandTanner]Sir：therearetwotragediesinlife。Oneisnottogetyourheart’sdesire。Theotheristogetit。Mineandyours，sir。
TANNER。MrMendoza：Ihavenoheart’sdesires。Ramsden：itisveryeasyforyoutocallmeahappyman：youareonlyaspectator。Iamoneoftheprincipals；andIknowbetter。Ann：
stoptemptingTavy，andcomebacktome。
ANN。[complying]Youareabsurd，Jack。[Shetakeshisprofferedarm]。
TANNER。[continuing]IsolemnlysaythatIamnotahappyman。
Annlookshappy；butsheisonlytriumphant，successful，victorious。Thatisnothappiness，butthepriceforwhichthestrongselltheirhappiness。Whatwehavebothdonethisafternoonistorenouncetranquillity，aboveallrenouncetheromanticpossibilitiesofanunknownfuture，forthecaresofahouseholdandafamily。Ibegthatnomanmayseizetheoccasiontogethalfdrunkandutterimbecilespeechesandcoarsepleasantriesatmyexpense。Weproposetofurnishourownhouseaccordingtoourowntaste；andIherebygivenoticethatthesevenoreighttravellingclocks，thefourorfivedressingcases，thesaladbowls，thecarversandfishslices，thecopyofTennysoninextramorocco，andalltheotherarticlesyouarepreparingtoheapuponus，willbeinstantlysold，andtheproceedsdevotedtocirculatingfreecopiesoftheRevolutionist’sHandbook。TheweddingwilltakeplacethreedaysafterourreturntoEngland，byspeciallicense，attheofficeofthedistrictsuperintendentregistrar，inthepresenceofmysolicitorandhisclerk，who，likehisclients，willbeinordinarywalkingdress。
VIOLET。[withintenseconviction]Youareabrute，Jack。
ANN。（lookingathimwithfondprideandcaressinghisarm]Nevermindher，dear。Goontalking。
TANNER。Talking！
Universallaughter。