However，Iamdigressing，asamanwithagrievancealwaysdoes。
Andafterall，themainthingindeterminingtheartisticqualityofabookisnottheopinionsitpropagates，butthefactthatthewriterhasopinions。TheoldladyfromColchesterwasrighttosunhersimplesoulintheenergeticradianceofBradlaugh’sgenuinebeliefsanddisbeliefsratherthaninthechillofsuchmerepaintingoflightandheataselocutionandconventioncanachieve。Mycontemptforbelleslettres，andforamateurswhobecometheheroesofthefanciersofliteraryvirtuosity，isnotfoundedonanyillusionofmindastothepermanenceofthoseformsofthought（callthemopinions）bywhichIstrivetocommunicatemybenttomyfellows。Toyoungermentheyarealreadyoutmoded；forthoughtheyhavenomorelosttheirlogicthananeighteenthcenturypastelhaslostitsdrawingoritscolor，yet，likethepastel，theygrowindefinablyshabby，andwillgrowshabbieruntiltheyceasetocountatall，whenmybookswilleitherperish，or，iftheworldisstillpoorenoughtowantthem，willhavetostand，withBunyan’s，byquiteamorphousqualitiesoftemperandenergy。WiththisconvictionI
cannotbeabellettrist。NodoubtImustrecognize，aseventheAncientMarinerdid，thatImusttellmystoryentertaininglyifIamtoholdtheweddingguestspellboundinspiteofthesirensoundsoftheloudbassoon。But\"forart’ssake\"aloneIwouldnotfacethetoilofwritingasinglesentence。Iknowthattherearemenwho，havingnothingtosayandnothingtowrite，areneverthelesssoinlovewithoratoryandwithliteraturethattheykeepdesperatelyrepeatingasmuchastheycanunderstandofwhatothershavesaidorwrittenaforetime。Iknowthattheleisurelytrickswhichtheirwantofconvictionleavesthemfreetoplaywiththedilutedandmisapprehendedmessagesupplythemwithapleasantparlorgamewhichtheycallstyle。Icanpitytheirdotageandevensympathizewiththeirfancy。Butatrueoriginalstyleisneverachievedforitsownsake：amanmaypayfromashillingtoaguinea，accordingtohismeans，tosee，hear，orreadanotherman’sactofgenius；buthewillnotpaywithhiswholelifeandsoultobecomeamerevirtuosoinliterature，exhibitinganaccomplishmentwhichwillnotevenmakemoneyforhim，likefiddleplaying。EffectivenessofassertionistheAlphaandOmegaofstyle。Hewhohasnothingtoasserthasnostyleandcanhavenone：hewhohassomethingtoassertwillgoasfarinpowerofstyleasitsmomentousnessandhisconvictionwillcarryhim。Disprovehisassertionafteritismade，yetitsstyleremains。DarwinhasnomoredestroyedthestyleofJobnorofHandelthanMartinLutherdestroyedthestyleofGiotto。Alltheassertionsgetdisprovedsoonerorlater；andsowefindtheworldfullofamagnificentdebrisofartisticfossils，withthematter—of—factcredibilitygonecleanoutofthem，buttheformstillsplendid。Andthatiswhytheoldmastersplaythedeucewithourmeresusceptibles。YourRoyalAcademicianthinkshecangetthestyleofGiottowithoutGiotto’sbeliefs，andcorrecthisperspectiveintothebargain。YourmanoflettersthinkshecangetBunyan’sorShakespear’sstylewithoutBunyan’sconvictionorShakespear’sapprehension，especiallyifhetakescarenottosplithisinfinitives。AndsowithyourDoctorsofMusic，who，withtheircollectionsofdiscordsdulypreparedandresolvedorretardedoranticipatedinthemannerofthegreatcomposers，thinktheycanlearntheartofPalestrinafromCherubim’streatise。Allthisacademicartisfarworsethanthetradeinshamantiquefurniture；forthemanwhosellsmeanoakenchestwhichheswearswasmadeintheXIIIcentury，thoughasamatteroffacthemadeithimselfonlyyesterday，atleastdoesnotpretendthatthereareanymodernideasinit，whereasyouracademiccopieroffossilsoffersthemtoyouasthelatestoutpouringofthehumanspirit，and，worstofall，kidnapsyoungpeopleaspupilsandpersuadesthemthathislimitationsarerules，hisobservancesdexterities，histimiditiesgoodtaste，andhisemptinessespurities。Andwhenhedeclaresthatartshouldnotbedidactic，allthepeoplewhohavenothingtoteachandallthepeoplewhodon’twanttolearnagreewithhimemphatically。
Ipridemyselfonnotbeingoneofthesesusceptible：IfyoustudytheelectriclightwithwhichIsupplyyouinthatBumbledonianpubliccapacityofmineoverwhichyoumakemerryfromtimetotime，youwillfindthatyourhousecontainsagreatquantityofhighlysusceptiblecopperwirewhichgorgesitselfwithelectricityandgivesyounolightwhatever。Buthereandthereoccursascrapofintenselyinsusceptible，intenselyresistantmaterial；andthatstubbornscrapgrappleswiththecurrentandwillnotletitthroughuntilithasmadeitselfusefultoyouasthosetwovitalqualitiesofliterature，lightandheat。NowifIamtobenomerecopperwireamateurbutaluminousauthor，Imustalsobeamostintenselyrefractoryperson，liabletogooutandtogowrongatinconvenientmoments，andwithincendiarypossibilities。Thesearethefaultsofmyqualities；andIassureyouthatIsometimesdislikemyselfsomuchthatwhensomeirritablereviewerchancesatthatmomenttopitchintomewithzest，Ifeelunspeakablyrelievedandobliged。ButIneverdreamofreforming，knowingthatImusttakemyselfasIamandgetwhatworkIcanoutofmyself。Allthisyouwillunderstand；forthereiscommunityofmaterialbetweenus：wearebothcriticsoflifeaswellasofart；andyouhaveperhapssaidtoyourselfwhenIhavepassedyourwindows，\"There，butforthegraceofGod，goI。\"Anawfulandchasteningreflection，whichshallbetheclosingcadenceofthisimmoderatelylongletterfromyoursfaithfully，G。BERNARDSHAW。
WOKING，1903
ACTI
RoebuckRamsdenisinhisstudy，openingthemorningletters。Thestudy，handsomelyandsolidlyfurnished，proclaimsthemanofmeans。Notaspeckofdustisvisible：itisclearthatthereareatleasttwohousemaidsandaparlormaiddownstairs，andahousekeeperupstairswhodoesnotletthemspareelbow—grease。
EventhetopofRoebuck’sheadispolished：onasunshinydayhecouldheliographhisorderstodistantcampsbymerelynodding。
Innootherrespect，however，doeshesuggestthemilitaryman。
Itisinactivecivillifethatmengethisbroadairofimportance，hisdignifiedexpectationofdeference，hisdeterminatemouthdisarmedandrefinedsincethehourofhissuccessbythewithdrawalofoppositionandtheconcessionofcomfortandprecedenceandpower。Heismorethanahighlyrespectableman：heismarkedoutasapresidentofhighlyrespectablemen，achairmanamongdirectors，analdermanamongcouncillors，amayoramongaldermen。Fourtuftsofiron—greyhair，whichwillsoonbeaswhiteasisinglass，andareinotherrespectsnotatallunlikeit，growintwosymmetricalpairsabovehisearsandattheanglesofhisspreadingjaws。Hewearsablackfrockcoat，awhitewaistcoat（itisbrightspringweather），andtrousers，neitherblacknorperceptiblyblue，ofoneofthoseindefinitelymixedhueswhichthemodernclothierhasproducedtoharmonizewiththereligionsofrespectablemen。
Hehasnotbeenoutofdoorsyetto—day；sohestillwearshisslippers，hisbootsbeingreadyforhimonthehearthrug。
Surmisingthathehasnovalet，andseeingthathehasnosecretarywithashorthandnotebookandatypewriter，onemeditatesonhowlittleourgreatburgessdomesticityhasbeendisturbedbynewfashionsandmethods，orbytheenterpriseoftherailwayandhotelcompanieswhichsellyouaSaturdaytoMondayoflifeatFolkestoneasarealgentlemanfortwoguineas，firstclassfaresbothwaysincluded。
HowoldisRoebuck？Thequestionisimportantonthethresholdofadramaofideas；forundersuchcircumstanceseverythingdependsonwhetherhisadolescencebelongedtothesixtiesortotheeighties。Hewasborn，asamatteroffact，in1839，andwasaUnitarianandFreeTraderfromhisboyhood，andanEvolutionistfromthepublicationoftheOriginofSpecies。Consequentlyhehasalwaysclassedhimselfasanadvancedthinkerandfearlesslyoutspokenreformer。
Sittingathiswritingtable，hehasonhisrightthewindowsgivingonPortlandPlace。Throughthese，asthroughaproscenium，thecuriousspectatormaycontemplatehisprofileaswellastheblindswillpermit。Onhisleftistheinnerwall，withastatelybookcase，andthedoornotquiteinthemiddle，butsomewhatfurtherfromhim。Againstthewalloppositehimaretwobustsonpillars：one，tohisleft，ofJohnBright；theother，tohisright，ofMrHerbertSpencer。BetweenthemhanganengravedportraitofRichardCobden；enlargedphotographsofMartineau，Huxley，andGeorgeEliot；autotypesofallegoriesbyMrG。F。
Watts（forRoebuckbelievedinthefineartswithalltheearnestnessofamanwhodoesnotunderstandthem），andanimpressionofDupont’sengravingofDelaroche’sBeauxArteshemicycle，representingthegreatmenofallages。Onthewallbehindhim，abovethemantelshelf，isafamilyportraitofimpenetrableobscurity。
Achairstandsnearthewritingtablefortheconvenienceofbusinessvisitors。Twootherchairsareagainstthewallbetweenthebusts。
Aparlormaidenterswithavisitor’scard。Roebucktakesit，andnods，pleased。Evidentlyawelcomecaller。
RAMSDEN。Showhimup。
Theparlormaidgoesoutandreturnswiththevisitor。
THEMAID。MrRobinson。
MrRobinsonisreallyanuncommonlynicelookingyoungfellow。Hemust，onethinks，bethejeunepremier；foritisnotinreasontosupposethatasecondsuchattractivemalefigureshouldappearinonestory。Theslimshapelyframe，theelegantsuitofnewmourning，thesmallheadandregularfeatures，theprettylittlemoustache，thefrankcleareyes，thewholesomebloomandtheyouthfulcomplexion，thewellbrushedglossyhair，notcurly，butoffinetextureandgooddarkcolor，thearchofgoodnatureintheeyebrows，theerectforeheadandneatlypointedchin，allannouncethemanwhowillloveandsufferlateron。
Andthathewillnotdosowithoutsympathyisguaranteedbyanengagingsincerityandeagermodestserviceablenesswhichstamphimasamanofamiablenature。Themomentheappears，Ramsden’sfaceexpandsintofatherlylikingandwelcome，anexpressionwhichdropsintooneofdecorousgriefastheyoungmanapproacheshimwithsorrowinhisfaceaswellasinhisblackclothes。Ramsdenseemstoknowthenatureofthebereavement。Asthevisitoradvancessilentlytothewritingtable，theoldmanrisesandshakeshishandacrossitwithoutaword：along，affectionateshakewhichtellsthestoryofarecentsorrowcommontoboth。
RAMSDEN。[concludingthehandshakeandcheeringup]Well，well，Octavius，it’sthecommonlot。Wemustallfaceitsomeday。Sitdown。
Octaviustakesthevisitor’schair。Ramsdenreplaceshimselfinhisown。
OCTAVIUS。Yes：wemustfaceit，MrRamsden。ButIowedhimagreatdeal。Hedideverythingformethatmyfathercouldhavedoneifhehadlived。
RAMSDEN。Hehadnosonofhisown，yousee。
OCTAVIUS。Buthehaddaughters；andyethewasasgoodtomysisterastome。Andhisdeathwassosudden！Ialwaysintendedtothankhim——tolethimknowthatIhadnottakenallhiscareofmeasamatterofcourse，asanyboytakeshisfather’scare。
ButIwaitedforanopportunityandnowheisdead——droppedwithoutamoment’swarning。HewillneverknowwhatIfelt。[Hetakesouthishandkerchiefandcriesunaffectedly]。
RAMSDEN。Howdoweknowthat，Octavius？Hemayknowit：wecannottell。Come！Don’tgrieve。[Octaviusmastershimselfandputsuphishandkerchief]。That’sright。Nowletmetellyousomethingtoconsoleyou。ThelasttimeIsawhim——itwasinthisveryroom——hesaidtome：\"Tavyisagenerousladandthesoulofhonor；andwhenIseehowlittleconsiderationothermengetfromtheirsons，Irealizehowmuchbetterthanasonhe’sbeentome。\"There！Doesn’tthatdoyougood？
OCTAVIUS。MrRamsden：heusedtosaytomethathehadmetonlyonemanintheworldwhowasthesoulofhonor，andthatwasRoebuckRamsden。
RAMSDEN。Oh，thatwashispartiality：wewereveryoldfriends，youknow。Buttherewassomethingelseheusedtosayaboutyou。
IwonderwhetherIoughttotellyouornot！
OCTAVIUS。Youknowbest。
RAMSDEN。Itwassomethingabouthisdaughter。
OCTAVIUS。[eagerly]AboutAnn！Oh，dotellmethat，MrRamsden。
RAMSDEN。Well，hesaidhewasglad，afterall，youwerenothisson，becausehethoughtthatsomedayAnnieandyou——[Octaviusblushesvividly]。Well，perhapsIshouldn’thavetoldyou。Buthewasinearnest。
OCTAVIUS。Oh，ifonlyIthoughtIhadachance！Youknow，MrRamsden，Idon’tcareaboutmoneyoraboutwhatpeoplecallposition；andIcan’tbringmyselftotakeaninterestinthebusinessofstrugglingforthem。Well，Annhasamostexquisitenature；butsheissoaccustomedtobeinthethickofthatsortofthingthatshethinksaman’scharacterincompleteifheisnotambitious。Sheknowsthatifshemarriedmeshewouldhavetoreasonherselfoutofbeingashamedofmefornotbeingabigsuccessofsomekind。
RAMSDEN。[Gettingupandplantinghimselfwithhisbacktothefireplace]Nonsense，myboy，nonsense！You’retoomodest。Whatdoessheknowabouttherealvalueofmenatherage？[Moreseriously]Besides，she’sawonderfullydutifulgirl。Herfather’swishwouldbesacredtoher。Doyouknowthatsinceshegrewuptoyearsofdiscretion，Idon’tbelieveshehaseveroncegivenherownwishasareasonfordoinganythingornotdoingit。It’salways\"Fatherwishesmeto，\"or\"Motherwouldn’tlikeit。\"It’sreallyalmostafaultinher。Ihaveoftentoldhershemustlearntothinkforherself。
OCTAVIUS。[shakinghishead]Icouldn’taskhertomarrymebecauseherfatherwishedit，MrRamsden。
RAMSDEN。Well，perhapsnot。No：ofcoursenot。Iseethat。No：
youcertainlycouldn’t。Butwhenyouwinheronyourownmerits，itwillbeagreathappinesstohertofulfilherfather’sdesireaswellasherown。Eh？Come！you’llaskher，won’tyou？
OCTAVIUS。[withsadgaiety]AtalleventsIpromiseyouIshallneveraskanyoneelse。
RAMSDEN。Oh，youshan’tneedto。She’llacceptyou，myboy——
although[herebesuddenlybecomesveryseriousindeed]youhaveonegreatdrawback。
OCTAVIUS。[anxiously]Whatdrawbackisthat，MrRamsden？Ishouldrathersaywhichofmymanydrawbacks？
RAMSDEN。I’lltellyou，Octavius。[Hetakesfromthetableabookboundinredcloth]。Ihaveinmyhandacopyofthemostinfamous，themostscandalous，themostmischievous，themostblackguardlybookthateverescapedburningatthehandsofthecommonhangman。Ihavenotreadit：Iwouldnotsoilmymindwithsuchfilth；butIhavereadwhatthepaperssayofit。Thetitleisquiteenoughforme。[Hereadsit]。TheRevolutionist’sHandbookandPocketCompanionbyJohnTanner，M。I。R。C。，MemberoftheIdleRichClass。
OCTAVIUS。[smiling]ButJack——
RAMSDEN。[testily]Forgoodness’sake，don’tcallhimJackundermyroof[hethrowsthebookviolentlydownonthetable，Then，somewhatrelieved，hecomespastthetabletoOctavius，andaddresseshimatclosequarterswithimpressivegravity]。Now，Octavius，Iknowthatmydeadfriendwasrightwhenhesaidyouwereagenerouslad。Iknowthatthismanwasyourschoolfellow，andthatyoufeelboundtostandbyhimbecausetherewasaboyishfriendshipbetweenyou。ButIaskyoutoconsiderthealteredcircumstances。Youweretreatedasasoninmyfriend’shouse。Youlivedthere；andyourfriendscouldnotbeturnedfromthedoor。ThisTannerwasinandoutthereonyouraccountalmostfromhischildhood。HeaddressesAnniebyherChristiannameasfreelyasyoudo。Well，whileherfatherwasalive，thatwasherfather’sbusiness，notmine。ThismanTannerwasonlyaboytohim：hisopinionsweresomethingtobelaughedat，likeaman’shatonachild’shead。ButnowTannerisagrownmanandAnnieagrownwoman。Andherfatherisgone。Wedon’tasyetknowtheexacttermsofhiswill；butheoftentalkeditoverwithme；
andIhavenomoredoubtthanIhavethatyou’resittingtherethatthewillappointsmeAnnie’strusteeandguardian。
[Forcibly]NowItellyou，onceforall，Ican’tandIwon’thaveAnnieplacedinsuchapositionthatshemust，outofregardforyou，suffertheintimacyofthisfellowTanner。It’snotfair：
it’snotright：it’snotkind。Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit？
OCTAVIUS。ButAnnherselfhastoldJackthatwhateverhisopinionsare，hewillalwaysbewelcomebecauseheknewherdearfather。
RAMSDEN。[outofpatience]Thatgirl’smadaboutherdutytoherparents。[HestartsofflikeagoadedoxinthedirectionofJohnBright，inwhoseexpressionthereisnosympathyforhim。Ashespeaks，hefumesdowntoHerbertSpencer，whoreceiveshimstillmorecoldly]Excuseme，Octavius；buttherearelimitstosocialtoleration。YouknowthatIamnotabigotedorprejudicedman。
YouknowthatIamplainRoebuckRamsdenwhenothermenwhohavedonelesshavegothandlestotheirnames，becauseIhavestoodforequalityandlibertyofconsciencewhiletheyweretrucklingtotheChurchandtothearistocracy。WhitefieldandIlostchanceafterchancethroughouradvancedopinions。ButIdrawthelineatAnarchismandFreeLoveandthatsortofthing。IfIamtobeAnnie’sguardian，shewillhavetolearnthatshehasadutytome。Iwon’thaveit：Iwillnothaveit。ShemustforbidJohnTannerthehouse；andsomustyou。
Theparlormaidreturns。
OCTAVIUS。But——
RAMSDEN。[callinghisattentiontotheservant]Ssh！Well？
THEMAID。MrTannerwishestoseeyou，sir。
RAMSDEN。MrTanner！
OCTAVIUS。Jack！
RAMSDEN。HowdareMrTannercallonme！SayIcannotseehim。
OCTAVIUS。[hurt]Iamsorryyouareturningmyfriendfromyourdoorlikethat。
THEMAID。[calmly]He’snotatthedoor，sir。He’supstairsinthedrawingroomwithMissRamsden。HecamewithMrsWhitefieldandMissAnnandMissRobinson，sir。
Ramsden’sfeelingsarebeyondwords。
OCTAVIUS。[grinning]That’sverylikeJack，MrRamsden。Youmustseehim，evenifit’sonlytoturnhimout。
RAMSDEN。[hammeringouthiswordswithsuppressedfury]GoupstairsandaskMrTannertobegoodenoughtostepdownhere。
[Theparlormaidgoesout；andRamsdenreturnstothefireplace，astoafortifiedposition]。Imustsaythatofalltheconfoundedpiecesofimpertinence——well，iftheseareAnarchistmannersIhopeyoulikethem。AndAnniewithhim！Annie！A——[hechokes]。
OCTAVIUS。Yes：that’swhatsurprisesme。He’ssodesperatelyafraidofAnn。Theremustbesomethingthematter。
MrJohnTannersuddenlyopensthedoorandenters。Heistooyoungtobedescribedsimplyasabigmanwithabeard。Butitisalreadyplainthatmiddlelifewillfindhiminthatcategory。Hehasstillsomeoftheslimnessofyouth；butyouthfulnessisnottheeffectheaimsat：hisfrockcoatwouldbefitaprimeminister；andacertainhighchestedcarriageoftheshoulders，aloftyposeofthehead，andtheOlympianmajestywithwhichamane，orratherahugewisp，ofhazelcoloredhairisthrownbackfromanimposingbrow，suggestJupiterratherthanApollo。Heisprodigiouslyfluentofspeech，restless，excitable（markthesnortingnostrilandtherestlessblueeye，justthethirty—secondthofaninchtoowideopen），possiblyalittlemad。
Heiscarefullydressed，notfromthevanitythatcannotresistfinery，butfromasenseoftheimportanceofeverythinghedoeswhichleadshimtomakeasmuchofpayingacallasothermendoofgettingmarriedorlayingafoundationstone。Asensitive，susceptible，exaggerative，earnestman：amegalomaniac，whowouldbelostwithoutasenseofhumor。
Justatpresentthesenseofhumorisinabeyance。Tosaythatheisexcitedisnothing：allhismoodsarephasesofexcitement。Heisnowinthepanic—strickenphase；andhewalksstraightuptoRamsdenasifwiththefixedintentionofshootinghimonhisownhearthrug。Butwhathepullsfromhisbreastpocketisnotapistol，butafoolscapdocumentwhichhethrustsundertheindignantnoseofRamsdenasheexclaims——
TANNER。Ramsden：doyouknowwhatthatis？
RAMSDEN。[loftily]No，Sir。
TANNER。It’sacopyofWhitefield’swill。Anngotitthismorning。
RAMSDEN。WhenyousayAnn，youmean，Ipresume，MissWhitefield。
TANNER。ImeanourAnn，yourAnn，Tavy’sAnn，andnow，Heavenhelpme，myAnn！
OCTAVIUS。[rising，verypale]Whatdoyoumean？
TANNER。Mean！[Heholdsupthewill]。DoyouknowwhoisappointedAnn’sguardianbythiswill？
RAMSDEN。[coolly]IbelieveIam。
TANNER。You！YouandI，man。I！I！！I！！！Bothofus！[Heflingsthewilldownonthewritingtable]。
RAMSDEN。You！Impossible。
TANNER。It’sonlytoohideouslytrue。[HethrowshimselfintoOctavius’schair]。Ramsden：getmeoutofitsomehow。Youdon’tknowAnnaswellasIdo。She’llcommiteverycrimearespectablewomancan；andshe’lljustifyeveryoneofthembysayingthatitwasthewishofherguardians。She’llputeverythingonus；andweshallhavenomorecontroloverherthanacoupleofmiceoveracat。
OCTAVIUS。Jack：Iwishyouwouldn’ttalklikethataboutAnn。
TANNER。Thischap’sinlovewithher：that’sanothercomplication。Well，she’lleitherjilthimandsayIdidn’tapproveofhim，ormarryhimandsayyouorderedherto。Itellyou，thisisthemoststaggeringblowthathaseverfallenonamanofmyageandtemperament。
RAMSDEN。Letmeseethatwill，sir。[Hegoestothewritingtableandpicksitup]。IcannotbelievethatmyoldfriendWhitefieldwouldhaveshownsuchawantofconfidenceinmeastoassociatemewith——[Hiscountenancefallsashereads]。
TANNER。It’sallmyowndoing：that’sthehorribleironyofit。
HetoldmeonedaythatyouweretobeAnn’sguardian；andlikeafoolIbeganarguingwithhimaboutthefollyofleavingayoungwomanunderthecontrolofanoldmanwithobsoleteideas。
RAMSDEN。[stupended]Myideasobsolete！！！！！
TANNER。Totally。IhadjustfinishedanessaycalledDownwithGovernmentbytheGreyhaired；andIwasfullofargumentsandillustrations。Isaidtheproperthingwastocombinetheexperienceofanoldhandwiththevitalityofayoungone。Hangmeifhedidn’ttakemeatmywordandalterhiswill——it’sdatedonlyafortnightafterthatconversation——appointingmeasjointguardianwithyou！
RAMSDEN。[paleanddetermined]Ishallrefusetoact。
TANNER。What’sthegoodofthat？I’vebeenrefusingallthewayfromRichmond；butAnnkeepsonsayingthatofcourseshe’sonlyanorphan；andthatshecan’texpectthepeoplewhoweregladtocometothehouseinherfather’stimetotroublemuchabouthernow。That’sthelatestgame。Anorphan！It’slikehearinganironcladtalkaboutbeingatthemercyofthewindsandwaves。
OCTAVIUS。Thisisnotfair，Jack。Sheisanorphan。Andyououghttostandbyher。
TANNER。Standbyher！Whatdangerisshein？Shehasthelawonherside；shehaspopularsentimentonherside；shehasplentyofmoneyandnoconscience。Allshewantswithmeistoloadupallhermoralresponsibilitiesonme，anddoasshelikesattheexpenseofmycharacter。Ican’tcontrolher；andshecancompromisemeasmuchasshelikes。Imightaswellbeherhusband。
RAMSDEN。Youcanrefusetoaccepttheguardianship。Ishallcertainlyrefusetoholditjointlywithyou。
TANNER。Yes；andwhatwillshesaytothat？whatdoesshesaytoit？Justthatherfather’swishesaresacredtoher，andthatsheshallalwayslookuptomeasherguardianwhetherIcaretofacetheresponsibilityornot。Refuse！Youmightaswellrefusetoaccepttheembracesofaboaconstrictorwhenonceitgetsroundyourneck。
OCTAVIUS。Thissortoftalkisnotkindtome，Jack。
TANNER。[risingandgoingtoOctaviustoconsolehim，butstilllamenting]Ifhewantedayoungguardian，whydidn’theappointTavy？
RAMSDEN。Ah！whyindeed？
OCTAVIUS。Iwilltellyou。Hesoundedmeaboutit；butIrefusedthetrustbecauseIlovedher。Ihadnorighttoletmyselfbeforcedonherasaguardianbyherfather。Hespoketoheraboutit；andshesaidIwasright。YouknowIloveher，MrRamsden；
andJackknowsittoo。IfJacklovedawoman，Iwouldnotcomparehertoaboaconstrictorinhispresence，howevermuchImightdislikeher[hesitsdownbetweenthebustsandturnshisfacetothewall]。
RAMSDEN。IdonotbelievethatWhitefieldwasinhisrightsenseswhenhemadethatwill。Youhaveadmittedthathemadeitunderyourinfluence。
TANNER。Yououghttobeprettywellobligedtomeformyinfluence。Heleavesyoutwothousandfivehundredforyourtrouble。HeleavesTavyadowryforhissisterandfivethousandforhimself。
OCTAVIUS。[histearsflowingafresh]Oh，Ican’ttakeit。Hewastoogoodtous。
TANNER。Youwon’tgetit，myboy，ifRamsdenupsetsthewill。
RAMSDEN。Ha！Isee。Youhavegotmeinacleftstick。
TANNER。HeleavesmenothingbutthechargeofAnn’smorals，onthegroundthatIhavealreadymoremoneythanisgoodforme。
Thatshowsthathehadhiswitsabouthim，doesn’tit？
RAMSDEN。[grimly]Iadmitthat。
OCTAVIUS。[risingandcomingfromhisrefugebythewall]MrRamsden：IthinkyouareprejudicedagainstJack。Heisamanofhonor，andincapableofabusing——
TANNER。Don’t，Tavy：you’llmakemeill。Iamnotamanofhonor：
Iamamanstruckdownbyadeadhand。Tavy：youmustmarryherafterallandtakeheroffmyhands。AndIhadsetmyheartonsavingyoufromher！
OCTAVIUS。Oh，Jack，youtalkofsavingmefrommyhighesthappiness。
TANNER。Yes，alifetimeofhappiness。Ifitwereonlythefirsthalfhour’shappiness，Tavy，Iwouldbuyitforyouwithmylastpenny。Butalifetimeofhappiness！Nomanalivecouldbearit：
itwouldbehellonearth。
RAMSDEN。[violently]Stuff，sir。Talksense；orelsegoandwastesomeoneelse’stime：Ihavesomethingbettertodothanlistentoyourfooleries[hepositivelykickshiswaytohistableandresumeshisseat]。
TANNER。Youhearhim，Tavy！Notanideainhisheadlaterthaneighteen—sixty。Wecan’tleaveAnnwithnootherguardiantoturnto。
RAMSDEN。Iamproudofyourcontemptformycharacterandopinions，sir。Yourownaresetforthinthatbook，Ibelieve。
TANNER。[eagerlygoingtothetable]What！You’vegotmybook！
Whatdoyouthinkofit？
RAMSDEN。DoyousupposeIwouldreadsuchabook，sir？
TANNER。Thenwhydidyoubuyit？
RAMSDEN。Ididnotbuyit，sir。Ithasbeensentmebysomefoolishladywhoseemstoadmireyourviews。IwasabouttodisposeofitwhenOctaviusinterruptedme。Ishalldosonow，withyourpermission。[HethrowsthebookintothewastepaperbasketwithsuchvehemencethatTannerrecoilsundertheimpressionthatitisbeingthrownathishead]。
TANNER。YouhavenomoremannersthanIhavemyself。However，thatsavesceremonybetweenus。[Hesitsdownagain]。Whatdoyouintendtodoaboutthiswill？
OCTAVIUS。MayImakeasuggestion？
RAMSDEN。Certainly，Octavius。
OCTAVIUS。Aren’tweforgettingthatAnnherselfmayhavesomewishesinthismatter？
RAMSDEN。IquiteintendthatAnnie’swishesshallbeconsultedineveryreasonableway。Butsheisonlyawoman，andayoungandinexperiencedwomanatthat。
TANNER。Ramsden：Ibegintopityyou。
RAMSDEN。[hotly]Idon’twanttoknowhowyoufeeltowardsme，MrTanner。
TANNER。Annwilldojustexactlywhatshelikes。Andwhat’smore，she’llforceustoadvisehertodoit；andshe’llputtheblameonusifitturnsoutbadly。So，asTavyislongingtoseeher——
OCTAVIUS。[shyly]Iamnot，Jack。
TANNER。Youlie，Tavy：youare。Solet’shaveherdownfromthedrawing—roomandaskherwhatsheintendsustodo。Offwithyou，Tavy，andfetchher。[Tavyturnstogo]。Anddon’tbelongforthestrainedrelationsbetweenmyselfandRamsdenwillmaketheintervalratherpainful[Ramsdencompresseshislips，butsaysnothing——]。
OCTAVIUS。Nevermindhim，MrRamsden。He’snotserious。[Hegoesout]。
RAMSDEN[verydeliberately]MrTanner：youarethemostimpudentpersonIhaveevermet。
TANNER。[seriously]Iknowit，Ramsden。YetevenIcannotwhollyconquershame。Weliveinanatmosphereofshame。Weareashamedofeverythingthatisrealaboutus；ashamedofourselves，ofourrelatives，ofourincomes，ofouraccents，ofouropinions，ofourexperience，justasweareashamedofournakedskins。GoodLord，mydearRamsden，weareashamedtowalk，ashamedtorideinanomnibus，ashamedtohireahansominsteadofkeepingacarriage，ashamedofkeepingonehorseinsteadoftwoandagroom—gardenerinsteadofacoachmanandfootman。Themorethingsamanisashamedof，themorerespectableheis。Why，you’reashamedtobuymybook，ashamedtoreadit：theonlythingyou’renotashamedofistojudgemeforitwithouthavingreadit；andeventhatonlymeansthatyou’reashamedtohaveheterodoxopinions。LookattheeffectIproducebecausemyfairygodmotherwithheldfrommethisgiftofshame。Ihaveeverypossiblevirtuethatamancanhaveexcept——
RAMSDEN。Iamgladyouthinksowellofyourself。
TANNER。AllyoumeanbythatisthatyouthinkIoughttobeashamedoftalkingaboutmyvirtues。Youdon’tmeanthatI
haven’tgotthem：youknowperfectlywellthatIamassoberandhonestacitizenasyourself，astruthfulpersonally，andmuchmoretruthfulpoliticallyandmorally。
RAMSDEN。[touchedonhismostsensitivepoint]Idenythat。I
willnotallowyouoranymantotreatmeasifIwereamerememberoftheBritishpublic。Idetestitsprejudices；Iscornitsnarrowness；Idemandtherighttothinkformyself。Youposeasanadvancedman。LetmetellyouthatIwasanadvancedmanbeforeyouwereborn。
TANNER。Iknewitwasalongtimeago。
RAMSDEN。IamasadvancedaseverIwas。IdefyyoutoprovethatIhaveeverhauleddowntheflag。IammoreadvancedthaneverI
was。Igrowmoreadvancedeveryday。
TANNER。Moreadvancedinyears，Polonius。
RAMSDEN。Polonius！SoyouareHamlet，Isuppose。
TANNER。No：Iamonlythemostimpudentpersonyou’veevermet。
That’syournotionofathoroughlybadcharacter。Whenyouwanttogivemeapieceofyourmind，youaskyourself，asajustanduprightman，whatistheworstyoucanfairlysayofme。Thief，liar，forger，adulterer，perjurer，glutton，drunkard？Notoneofthesenamesfitme。Youhavetofallbackonmydeficiencyinshame。Well，Iadmitit。Ievencongratulatemyself；forifI
wereashamedofmyrealself，Ishouldcutasstupidafigureasanyoftherestofyou。Cultivatealittleimpudence，Ramsden；
andyouwillbecomequitearemarkableman。
RAMSDEN。Ihaveno——
TANNER。Youhavenodesireforthatsortofnotoriety。Blessyou，IknewthatanswerwouldcomeaswellasIknowthataboxofmatcheswillcomeoutofanautomaticmachinewhenIputapennyintheslot：youwouldbeashamedtosayanythingelse。
ThecrushingretortforwhichRamsdenhasbeenvisiblycollectinghisforcesislostforever；foratthispointOctaviusreturnswithMissAnnWhitefieldandhermother；andRamsdenspringsupandhurriestothedoortoreceivethem。WhetherAnnisgood—lookingornotdependsuponyourtaste；alsoandperhapschieflyonyourageandsex。ToOctaviussheisanenchantinglybeautifulwoman，inwhosepresencetheworldbecomestransfigured，andthepunylimitsofindividualconsciousnessaresuddenlymadeinfinitebyamysticmemoryofthewholelifeoftheracetoitsbeginningsintheeast，orevenbacktotheparadisefromwhichitfell。Sheistohimtherealityofromance，theleanergoodsenseofnonsense，theunveilingofhiseyes，thefreeingofhissoul，theabolitionoftime，placeandcircumstance，theetherealizationofhisbloodintorapturousriversoftheverywateroflifeitself，therevelationofallthemysteriesandthesanctificationofallthedogmas。Tohermothersheis，toputitasmoderatelyaspossible，nothingwhateverofthekind。NotthatOctavius’sadmirationisinanywayridiculousordiscreditable。Annisawellformedcreature，asfarasthatgoes；andsheisperfectlyladylike，graceful，andcomely，withensnaringeyesandhair。Besides，insteadofmakingherselfaneyesore，likehermother，shehasdevisedamourningcostumeofblackandvioletsilkwhichdoeshonortoherlatefatherandrevealsthefamilytraditionofbraveunconventionalitybywhichRamsdensetssuchstore。
ButallthisisbesidethepointasanexplanationofAnn’scharm。Turnuphernose，giveacasttohereye，replaceherblackandvioletconfectionbytheapronandfeathersofaflowergirl，strikealltheaitchesoutofherspeech，andAnnwouldstillmakemendream。Vitalityisascommonashumanity；but，likehumanity，itsometimesrisestogenius；andAnnisoneofthevitalgeniuses。Notatall，ifyouplease，anoversexedperson：thatisavitaldefect，notatrueexcess。Sheisaperfectlyrespectable，perfectlyself—controlledwoman，andlooksit；thoughherposeisfashionablyfrankandimpulsive。Sheinspiresconfidenceasapersonwhowilldonothingshedoesnotmeantodo；alsosomefear，perhaps，asawomanwhowillprobablydoeverythingshemeanstodowithouttakingmoreaccountofotherpeoplethanmaybenecessaryandwhatshecallsright。Inshort，whattheweakerofherownsexsometimescallacat。
NothingcanbemoredecorousthanherentryandherreceptionbyRamsden，whomshekisses。ThelateMrWhitefieldwouldbegratifiedalmosttoimpatiencebythelongfacesofthemen（exceptTanner，whoisfidgety），thesilenthandgrasps，thesympatheticplacingofchairs，thesniffingofthewidow，andtheliquideyeofthedaughter，whoseheart，apparently，willnotlethercontrolhertonguetospeech。RamsdenandOctaviustakethetwochairsfromthewall，andplacethemforthetwoladies；butAnncomestoTannerandtakeshischair，whichheofferswithabrusquegesture，subsequentlyrelievinghisirritationbysittingdownonthecornerofthewritingtablewithstudiedindecorum。
OctaviusgivesMrsWhitefieldachairnextAnn，andhimselftakesthevacantonewhichRamsdenhasplacedunderthenoseoftheeffigyofMrHerbertSpencer。
MrsWhitefield，bytheway，isalittlewoman，whosefadedflaxenhairlookslikestrawonanegg。Shehasanexpressionofmuddledshrewdness，asqueakofprotestinhervoice，andanoddairofcontinuallyelbowingawaysomelargerpersonwhoiscrushingherintoacorner。Oneguessesherasoneofthosewomenwhoareconsciousofbeingtreatedassillyandnegligible，andwho，withouthavingstrengthenoughtoassertthemselveseffectually，atanyrateneversubmittotheirfate。ThereisatouchofchivalryinOctavius’sscrupulousattentiontoher，evenwhilsthiswholesoulisabsorbedbyAnn。
Ramsdengoessolemnlybacktohismagisterialseatatthewritingtable，ignoringTanner，andopenstheproceedings。
RAMSDEN。Iamsorry，Annie，toforcebusinessonyouatasadtimelikethepresent。Butyourpoordearfather’swillhasraisedaveryseriousquestion。Youhavereadit，Ibelieve？
[Annassentswithanodandacatchofherbreath，toomuchaffectedtospeak]。
ImustsayIamsurprisedtofindMrTannernamedasjointguardianandtrusteewithmyselfofyouandRhoda。[Apause。Theyalllookportentous；buttheyhavenothingtosay。Ramsden，alittleruffledbythelackofanyresponse，continues]Idon’tknowthatIcanconsenttoactundersuchconditions。MrTannerhas，Iunderstand，someobjectionalso；butIdonotprofesstounderstanditsnature：hewillnodoubtspeakforhimself。Butweareagreedthatwecandecidenothinguntilweknowyourviews。I
amafraidIshallhavetoaskyoutochoosebetweenmysoleguardianshipandthatofMrTanner；forIfearitisimpossibleforustoundertakeajointarrangement。
ANN。[inalowmusicalvoice]Mamma——
MRSWHITEFIELD。[hastily]Now，Ann，Idobegyounottoputitonme。Ihavenoopiniononthesubject；andifIhad，itwouldprobablynotbeattendedto。Iamquitewithwhateveryouthreethinkbest。
TannerturnshisheadandlooksfixedlyatRamsden，whoangrilyrefusestoreceivethismutecommunication。
ANN。[resuminginthesamegentlevoice，ignoringhermother’sbadtaste]MammaknowsthatsheisnotstrongenoughtobearthewholeresponsibilityformeandRhodawithoutsomehelpandadvice。Rhodamusthaveaguardian；andthoughIamolder，Idonotthinkanyyoungunmarriedwomanshouldbeleftquitetoherownguidance。Ihopeyouagreewithme，Granny？
TANNER。[starting]Granny！DoyouintendtocallyourguardiansGranny？
ANN。Don’tbefoolish，Jack。MrRamsdenhasalwaysbeenGrandpapaRoebucktome：IamGranny’sAnnie；andheisAnnie’sGranny。I
christenedhimsowhenIfirstlearnedtospeak。
RAMSDEN。[sarcastically]Ihopeyouaresatisfied，MrTanner。Goon，Annie：Iquiteagreewithyou。
ANN。Well，ifIamtohaveaguardian，CANIsetasideanybodywhommydearfatherappointedforme？
RAMSDEN。[bitinghislip]Youapproveofyourfather’schoice，then？
ANN。Itisnotformetoapproveordisapprove。Iacceptit。Myfatherlovedmeandknewbestwhatwasgoodforme。
RAMSDEN。OfcourseIunderstandyourfeeling，Annie。ItiswhatI
shouldhaveexpectedofyou；anditdoesyoucredit。Butitdoesnotsettlethequestionsocompletelyasyouthink。Letmeputacasetoyou。SupposeyouweretodiscoverthatIhadbeenguiltyofsomedisgracefulaction——thatIwasnotthemanyourpoordearfathertookmefor。WouldyoustillconsideritrightthatI
shouldbeRhoda’sguardian？
ANN。Ican’timagineyoudoinganythingdisgraceful，Granny。
TANNER。[toRamsden]Youhaven’tdoneanythingofthesort，haveyou？
RAMSDEN。[indignantly]Nosir。
MRS。WHITEFIELD。[placidly]Well，then，whysupposeit？
ANN。Yousee，Granny，Mammawouldnotlikemetosupposeit。
RAMSDEN。[muchperplexed]Youarebothsofullofnaturalandaffectionatefeelinginthesefamilymattersthatitisveryhardtoputthesituationfairlybeforeyou。
TANNER。Besides，myfriend，youarenotputtingthesituationfairlybeforethem。
RAMSDEN。[sulkily]Putityourself，then。
TANNER。Iwill。Ann：RamsdenthinksIamnotfitbeyourguardian；andIquiteagreewithhim。Heconsidersthatifyourfatherhadreadmybook，hewouldn’thaveappointedme。Thatbookisthedisgracefulactionhehasbeentalkingabout。Hethinksit’syourdutyforRhoda’ssaketoaskhimtoactaloneandtomakemewithdraw。SaythewordandIwill。
ANN。ButIhaven’treadyourbook，Jack。
TANNER。[divingatthewaste—paperbasketandfishingthebookoutforher]Thenreaditatonceanddecide。
RAMSDEN。IfIamtobeyourguardian，Ipositivelyforbidyoutoreadthatbook，Annie。[Hesmitesthetablewithhisfistandrises]。
ANN。Ofcourse，ifyoudon’twishit。[Sheputsthebookonthetable]。
TANNER。Ifoneguardianistoforbidyoutoreadtheotherguardian’sbook，howarewetosettleit？SupposeIorderyoutoreadit！Whataboutyourdutytome？
ANN。[gently]Iamsureyouwouldneverpurposelyforcemeintoapainfuldilemma，Jack。
RAMSDEN。[irritably]Yes，yes，Annie：thisisallverywell，and，asIsaid，quitenaturalandbecoming。Butyoumustmakeachoiceonewayortheother。Weareasmuchinadilemmaasyou。
ANN。IfeelthatIamtooyoung，tooinexperienced，todecide。Myfather’swishesaresacredtome。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Ifyoutwomenwon’tcarrythemoutImustsayitisratherhardthatyoushouldputtheresponsibilityonAnn。Itseemstomethatpeoplearealwaysputtingthingsonotherpeopleinthisworld。
RAMSDEN。Iamsorryyoutakeitthatway。
ANN。[touchingly]Doyourefusetoacceptmeasyourward，Granny？
RAMSDEN。No：Ineversaidthat。IgreatlyobjecttoactwithMrTanner：that’sall。
MRS。WHITEFIELD。Why？What’sthematterwithpoorJack？
TANNER。Myviewsaretooadvancedforhim。
RAMSDEN。[indignantly]Theyarenot。Idenyit。
ANN。Ofcoursenot。Whatnonsense！NobodyismoreadvancedthanGranny。IamsureitisJackhimselfwhohasmadeallthedifficulty。Come，Jack！Bekindtomeinmysorrow。Youdon’trefusetoacceptmeasyourward，doyou？
TANNER。[gloomily]No。Iletmyselfinforit；soIsupposeI
mustfaceit。[Heturnsawaytothebookcase，andstandsthere，moodilystudyingthetitlesofthevolumes]。
ANN。[risingandexpandingwithsubduedbutgushingdelight]Thenweareallagreed；andmydearfather’swillistobecarriedout。Youdon’tknowwhatajoythatistomeandtomymother！
[ShegoestoRamsdenandpressesbothhishands，saying]AndI
shallhavemydearGrannytohelpandadviseme。[ShecastsaglanceatTanneroverhershoulder]。AndJacktheGiantKiller。
[ShegoespasthermothertoOctavius]。AndJack’sinseparablefriendRicky—ticky—tavy[heblushesandlooksinexpressiblyfoolish]。
MRSWHITEFIELD。[risingandshakingherwidow’sweedsstraight]
NowthatyouareAnn’sguardian，MrRamsden，Iwishyouwouldspeaktoheraboutherhabitofgivingpeoplenicknames。Theycan’tbeexpectedtolikeit。[Shemovestowardsthedoor]。
ANN。Howcanyousaysuchathing，Mamma！[Glowingwithaffectionateremorse]Oh，Iwondercanyouberight！HaveIbeeninconsiderate？[SheturnstoOctavius，whoissittingastridehischairwithhiselbowsonthebackofit。Puttingherhandonhisforeheadtheturnshisfaceupsuddenly]。Doyouwanttobetreatedlikeagrownupman？MustIcallyouMrRobinsoninfuture？
OCTAVIUS。[earnestly]OhpleasecallmeRicky—ticky——tavy，\"MrRobinson\"wouldhurtmecruelly。Shelaughsandpatshischeekwithherfinger；thencomesbacktoRamsden]。YouknowI’mbeginningtothinkthatGrannyisratherapieceofimpertinence。
ButIneverdreamtofitshurtingyou。
RAMSDEN。[breezily，ashepatsheraffectionatelyontheback]MydearAnnie，nonsense。IinsistonGranny。Iwon’tanswertoanyothernamethanAnnie’sGranny。
ANN。[gratefully]Youallspoilme，exceptJack。
TANNER。[overhisshoulder，fromthebookcase]IthinkyououghttocallmeMrTanner。
ANN。[gently]Noyoudon’t，Jack。That’slikethethingsyousayonpurposetoshockpeople：thosewhoknowyoupaynoattentiontothem。But，ifyoulike，I’llcallyouafteryourfamousancestorDonJuan。
RAMSDEN。DonJuan！
ANN。[innocently]Oh，isthereanyharminit？Ididn’tknow。
ThenIcertainlywon’tcallyouthat。MayIcallyouJackuntilIcanthinkofsomethingelse？
TANKER。Oh，forHeaven’ssakedon’ttrytoinventanythingworse。
Icapitulate。IconsenttoJack。IembraceJack。Hereendethmyfirstandlastattempttoassertmyauthority。
ANN。Yousee，Mamma，theyallreallyliketohavepetnames。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Well，Ithinkyoumightatleastdropthemuntilweareoutofmourning。
ANN。[reproachfully，strickentothesoul]Oh，howcouldyouremindme，mother？[Shehastilyleavestheroomtoconcealheremotion]。
MRSWHITEFIELD。Ofcourse。Myfaultasusual！[ShefollowsAnn]。
TANNER。[comingfromthebockcase]Ramsden：we’rebeaten——
smashed——nonentitized，likehermother。
RAMSDEN。Stuff，Sir。[HefollowsMrsWhitefieldoutoftheroom]。
TANNER。[leftalonewithOctavius，stareswhimsicallyathim]
Tavy：doyouwanttocountforsomethingintheworld？
OCTAVIUS。Iwanttocountforsomethingasapoet：Iwanttowriteagreatplay。
TANNER。WithAnnastheheroine？
OCTAVIUS。Yes：Iconfessit。
TANNER。Takecare，Tavy。TheplaywithAnnastheheroineisallright；butifyou’renotverycareful，byHeavenshe’llmarryyou。
OCTAVIUS。[sighing]Nosuchluck，Jack！
TANNER。Why，man，yourheadisinthelioness’smouth：youarehalfswallowedalready——inthreebites——BiteOne，Ricky；BiteTwo，Ticky；BiteThree，Tavy；anddownyougo。
OCTAVIUS。Sheisthesametoeverybody，Jack：youknowherways。
TANNER。Yes：shebreakseverybody’sbackwiththestrokeofherpaw；butthequestionis，whichofuswillsheeat？Myownopinionisthatshemeanstoeatyou。
OCTAVIUS。[rising，pettishly]It’shorribletotalklikethataboutherwhensheisupstairscryingforherfather。ButIdosowanthertoeatmethatIcanbearyourbrutalitiesbecausetheygivemehope。
TANNER。Tavy；that’sthedevilishsideofawoman’sfascination：
shemakesyouwillyourowndestruction。
OCTAVIUS。Butit’snotdestruction：it’sfulfilment。
TANNER。Yes，ofHERpurpose；andthatpurposeisneitherherhappinessnoryours，butNature’s。Vitalityinawomanisablindfuryofcreation。Shesacrificesherselftoit：doyouthinkshewillhesitatetosacrificeyou？
OCTAVIUS。Why，itisjustbecausesheisself—sacrificingthatshewillnotsacrificethosesheloves。
TANNER。Thatistheprofoundestofmistakes，Tavy。Itistheself—sacrificingwomenthatsacrificeothersmostrecklessly。
Becausetheyareunselfish，theyarekindinlittlethings。
Becausetheyhaveapurposewhichisnottheirownpurpose，butthatofthewholeuniverse，amanisnothingtothembutaninstrumentofthatpurpose。
OCTAVIUS。Don’tbeungenerous，Jack。Theytakethetenderestcareofus。
TANNER。Yes，asasoldiertakescareofhisrifleoramusicianofhisviolin。Butdotheyallowusanypurposeorfreedomofourown？Willtheylendustooneanother？Canthestrongestmanescapefromthemwhenonceheisappropriated？Theytremblewhenweareindanger，andweepwhenwedie；butthetearsarenotforus，butforafatherwasted，ason’sbreedingthrownaway。Theyaccuseusoftreatingthemasameremeanstoourpleasure；buthowcansofeebleandtransientafollyasaman’sselfishpleasureenslaveawomanasthewholepurposeofNatureembodiedinawomancanenslaveaman？
OCTAVIUS。Whatmatter，iftheslaverymakesushappy？
TANNER。Nomatteratallifyouhavenopurposeofyourown，andare，likemostmen，amerebreadwinner。Butyou，Tavy，areanartist：thatis，youhaveapurposeasabsorbingandasunscrupulousasawoman’spurpose。
OCTAVIUS。Notunscrupulous。
TANNER。Quiteunscrupulous。Thetrueartistwilllethiswifestarve，hischildrengobarefoot，hismotherdrudgeforhislivingatseventy，soonerthanworkatanythingbuthisart。Towomenheishalfvivisector，halfvampire。Hegetsintointimaterelationswiththemtostudythem，tostripthemaskofconventionfromthem，tosurprisetheirinmostsecrets，knowingthattheyhavethepowertorousehisdeepestcreativeenergies，torescuehimfromhiscoldreason，tomakehimseevisionsanddreamdreams，toinspirehim，ashecallsit。Hepersuadeswomenthattheymaydothisfortheirownpurposewhilsthereallymeansthemtodoitforhis。Hestealsthemother’smilkandblackensittomakeprinter’sinktoscoffatherandglorifyidealwomenwith。Hepretendstospareherthepangsofchildbearingsothathemayhaveforhimselfthetendernessandfosteringthatbelongofrighttoherchildren。Sincemarriagebegan，thegreatartisthasbeenknownasabadhusband。Butheisworse：heisachild—robber，abloodsucker，ahypocriteandacheat。PerishtheraceandwitherathousandwomenifonlythesacrificeofthemenablehimtoactHamletbetter，topaintafinerpicture，towriteadeeperpoem，agreaterplay，aprofounderphilosophy！Formarkyou，Tavy，theartist’sworkistoshowusourselvesaswereallyare。Ourmindsarenothingbutthisknowledgeofourselves；andhewhoaddsajottosuchknowledgecreatesnewmindassurelyasanywomancreatesnewmen。Intherageofthatcreationheisasruthlessasthewoman，asdangeroustoherasshetohim，andashorriblyfascinating。
Ofallhumanstrugglesthereisnonesotreacherousandremorselessasthestrugglebetweentheartistmanandthemotherwoman。Whichshalluseuptheother？thatistheissuebetweenthem。Anditisallthedeadlierbecause，inyourromanticistcant，theyloveoneanother。
OCTAVIUS。Evenifitwereso——andIdon’tadmititforamoment——
itisoutofthedeadlieststrugglesthatwegetthenoblestcharacters。
TANNER。RememberthatthenexttimeyoumeetagrizzlybearoraBengaltiger，Tavy。
OCTAVIUS。Imeantwherethereislove，Jack。
TANNER。Oh，thetigerwillloveyou。Thereisnolovesincererthantheloveoffood。IthinkAnnlovesyouthatway：shepattedyourcheekasifitwereanicelyunderdonechop。
OCTAVIUS。Youknow，Jack，IshouldhavetorunawayfromyouifI
didnotmakeitafixedrulenottomindanythingyousay。Youcomeoutwithperfectlyrevoltingthingssometimes。
Ramsdenreturns，followedbyAnn。Theycomeinquickly，withtheirformerleisurelyairofdecorousgriefchangedtooneofgenuineconcern，and，onRamsden’spart，ofworry。Hecomesbetweenthetwomen，intendingtoaddressOctavius，butpullshimselfupabruptlyasheseesTanner。
RAMSDEN。Ihardlyexpectedtofindyoustillhere，MrTanner。
TANNER。AmIintheway？Goodmorning，fellowguardian[hegoestowardsthedoor]。
ANN。Stop，Jack。Granny：hemustknow，soonerorlater。
RAMSDEN。Octavius：Ihaveaveryseriouspieceofnewsforyou。
Itisofthemostprivateanddelicatenature——ofthemostpainfulnaturetoo，Iamsorrytosay。DoyouwishMrTannertobepresentwhilstIexplain？
OCTAVIUS。[turningpale]IhavenosecretsfromJack。
RAMSDEN。Beforeyoudecidethatfinally，letmesaythatthenewsconcernsyoursister，andthatitisterriblenews。
OCTAVIUS。Violet！Whathashappened？Isshe——dead？
RAMSDEN。Iamnotsurethatitisnotevenworsethanthat。
OCTAVIUS。Isshebadlyhurt？Hastherebeenanaccident？
RAMSDEN。No：nothingofthatsort。
TANNER。Ann：willyouhavethecommonhumanitytotelluswhatthematteris？
ANN。[halfwhispering]Ican’t。Violethasdonesomethingdreadful。Weshallhavetogetherawaysomewhere。[SheflutterstothewritingtableandsitsinRamsden’schair，leavingthethreementofightitoutbetweenthem]。
OCTAVIUS。[enlightened]Isthatwhatyoumeant，MrRamsden？
RAMSDEN。Yes。[Octaviussinksuponachair，crushed]。IamafraidthereisnodoubtthatVioletdidnotreallygotoEastbournethreeweeksagowhenwethoughtshewaswiththeParryWhitefields。Andshecalledonastrangedoctoryesterdaywithaweddingringonherfinger。Mrs。ParryWhitefieldmethertherebychance；andsothewholethingcameout。
OCTAVIUS。[risingwithhisfistsclenched]Whoisthescoundrel？
ANN。Shewon’ttellus。
OCTAVIUS。[collapsinguponhischairagain]Whatafrightfulthing！
TANNER。[withangrysarcasm]Dreadful。Appalling。Worsethandeath，asRamsdensays。[HecomestoOctavius]。Whatwouldyounotgive，Tavy，toturnitintoarailwayaccident，withallherbonesbrokenorsomethingequallyrespectableanddeservingofsympathy？
OCTAVIUS。Don’tbebrutal，Jack。
TANNER。Brutal！GoodHeavens，man，whatareyoucryingfor？Hereisawomanwhomweallsupposedtobemakingbadwatercolorsketches，practisingGriegandBrahms，gaddingabouttoconcertsandparties，wastingherlifeandhermoney。Wesuddenlylearnthatshehasturnedfromthesesillinessestothefulfilmentofherhighestpurposeandgreatestfunction——toincrease，multiplyandreplenishtheearth。Andinsteadofadmiringhercourageandrejoicinginherinstinct；insteadofcrowningthecompletedwomanhoodandraisingthetriumphalstrainof\"Untousachildisborn：untousasonisgiven，\"hereyouare——youwhohavebeenasmerryasBrigsinyourmourningforthedead——allpullinglongfacesandlookingasashamedanddisgracedasifthegirlhadcommittedthevilestofcrimes。
RAMSDEN。[roaringwithrage]Iwillnothavetheseabominationsutteredinmyhouse[hesmitesthewritingtablewithhisfist]。
TANNER。Lookhere：ifyouinsultmeagainI’lltakeyouatyourwordandleaveyourhouse。Ann：whereisVioletnow？
ANN。Why？Areyougoingtoher？
TANNER。OfcourseIamgoingtoher。Shewantshelp；shewantsmoney；shewantsrespectandcongratulation。Shewantseverychanceforherchild。Shedoesnotseemlikelytogetitfromyou：sheshallfromme。Whereisshe？
ANN。Don’tbesoheadstrong，Jack。She’supstairs。
TANNER。What！UnderRamsden’ssacredroof！Goanddoyourmiserableduty，Ramsden。Huntheroutintothestreet。Cleanseyourthresholdfromhercontamination。VindicatethepurityofyourEnglishhome。I’llgoforacab，ANN。[alarmed]Oh，Granny，youmustn’tdothat。
OCTAVIUS。[broken—heartedly，rising]I’lltakeheraway，MrRamsden。Shehadnorighttocometoyourhouse。
RAMSDEN。[indignantly]ButIamonlytooanxioustohelpher。
[turningonTanner]Howdareyou，sir，imputesuchmonstrousintentionstome？Iprotestagainstit。Iamreadytoputdownmylastpennytosaveherfrombeingdriventoruntoyouforprotection。
TANNER。[subsiding]It’sallright，then。He’snotgoingtoactuptohisprinciples。It’sagreedthatweallstandbyViolet。
OCTAVIUS。Butwhoistheman？Hecanmakereparationbymarryingher；andheshall，orheshallanswerforittome。
RAMSDEN。Heshall，Octavius。Thereyouspeaklikeaman。
TANNER。Thenyoudon’tthinkhimascoundrel，afterall？
OCTAVIUS。Notascoundrel！Heisaheartlessscoundrel。
RAMSDEN。Adamnedscoundrel。Ibegyourpardon，Annie；butIcansaynoless。