“Iamonlyayoungman，“hewenton，movinguneasilyinhischair，“andIambeginninganewlife——“
“Anythingwrongwiththechair？“askedSirPatrick。“Beginyournewlifecomfortably，andgetanother。“
“There’snothingwrongwiththechair，Sir。Wouldyou——“
“WouldIkeepthechair，inthatcase？Certainly。“
“Imean，wouldyouadviseme——“
“Mygoodfellow，I’mwaitingtoadviseyou。I’msurethere’ssomethingwrongwiththatchair。Whybeobstinateaboutit？Whynotgetanother？“
“Pleasedon’tnoticethechair，SirPatrick——youputmeout。I
want——inshort——perhapsit’sacuriousquestion——“
“Ican’tsaytillIhaveheardit，“remarkedSirPatrick。
“However，wewilladmitit，forform’ssake，ifyoulike。Sayit’sacuriousquestion。Orletusexpressitmorestrongly，ifthatwillhelpyou。Sayit’sthemostextraordinaryquestionthateverwasput，sincethebeginningoftheworld，fromonehumanbeingtoanother。“
“It’sthis!“Arnoldburstout，desperately。“Iwanttobemarried!“
“Thatisn’taquestion，“objectedSirPatrick。“It’sanassertion。Yousay，Iwanttobemarried。AndIsay，Justso!Andthere’sanendofit。“
Arnold’sheadbegantowhirl。“Wouldyouadvisemetogetmarried，Sir？“hesaid，piteously。“That’swhatImeant。“
“Oh!That’stheobjectofthepresentinterview，isit？WouldI
adviseyoutomarry，eh？“
Havingcaughtthemousebythistime，thecatliftedhispawandletthelucklesslittlecreaturebreatheagain。SirPatrick’smannersuddenlyfreeditselffromanyslightsignsofimpatiencewhichitmighthavehithertoshown，andbecameaspleasantlyeasyandconfidentialasamannercouldbe。Hetouchedtheknobofhiscane，andhelpedhimself，withinfinitezestandenjoyment，toapinchofsnuff。
“WouldIadviseyoutomarry？“repeatedSirPatrick。“Twocoursesareopentous，Mr。Arnold，intreatingthatquestion。Wemayputitbriefly，orwemayputitatgreatlength。Iamforputtingitbriefly。Whatdoyousay？“
“Whatyousay，SirPatrick。“
“Verygood。MayIbeginbymakinganinquiryrelatingtoyourpastlife？“
“Certainly!“
“Verygoodagain。Whenyouwereinthemerchantservice，didyoueverhaveanyexperienceinbuyingprovisionsashore？“
Arnoldstared。Ifanyrelationexistedbetweenthatquestionandthesubjectinhanditwasanimpenetrablerelationto_him_。Heanswered，inunconcealedbewilderment，“Plentyofexperience，Sir。“
“I’mcomingtothepoint，“pursuedSirPatrick。“Don’tbeastonished。I’mcomingtothepoint。Whatdidyouthinkofyourmoistsugarwhenyouboughtitatthegrocer’s？“
“Think？“repeatedArnold。“Why，Ithoughtitwasmoistsugar，tobesure!“
“Marry，byallmeans!“criedSirPatrick。“Youareoneofthefewmenwhocantrythatexperimentwithafairchanceofsuccess。“
ThesuddennessoftheanswerfairlytookawayArnold’sbreath。
Therewassomethingperfectlyelectricinthebrevityofhisvenerablefriend。Hestaredharderthanever。
“Don’tyouunderstandme？“askedSirPatrick。
“Idon’tunderstandwhatthemoistsugarhasgottodowithit，Sir。“
“Youdon’tseethat？“
“Notabit!“
“ThenI’llshowyou，“saidSirPatrick，crossinghislegs，andsettingincomfortablyforagoodtalk“Yougotothetea-shop，andgetyourmoistsugar。Youtakeitontheunderstandingthatitismoistsugar。Butitisn’tanythingofthesort。It’sacompoundofadulterationsmadeuptolooklikesugar。Youshutyoureyestothatawkwardfact，andswallowyouradulteratedmessinvariousarticlesoffood；andyouandyoursugargetontogetherinthatwayaswellasyoucan。Doyoufollowme，sofar？“
Yes。Arnoldquiteinthedarkfollowed，sofar。
“Verygood，“pursuedSirPatrick。“Yougotothemarriage-shop，andgetawife。Youtakeherontheunderstanding——letussay——thatshehaslovelyyellowhair，thatshehasanexquisitecomplexion，thatherfigureistheperfectionofplumpness，andthatsheisjusttallenoughtocarrytheplumpnessoff。Youbringherhome，andyoudiscoverthatit’stheoldstoryofthesugaroveragain。Yourwifeisanadulteratedarticle。Herlovelyyellowhairis——dye。Herexquisiteskinis——pearlpowder。Herplumpnessis——padding。Andthreeinchesofherheightare——intheboot-maker’sheels。Shutyoureyes，andswallowyouradulteratedwifeasyouswallowyouradulteratedsugar——and，Itellyouagain，youareoneofthefewmenwhocantrythemarriageexperimentwithafairchanceofsuccess。“
Withthatheuncrossedhislegsagain，andlookedhardatArnold。
Arnoldreadthelesson，atlast，intherightway。HegaveupthehopelessattempttocircumventSirPatrick，and——comewhatmightofit——dashedatadirectallusiontoSirPatrick’sniece。
“Thatmaybeallverytrue，Sir，ofsomeyoungladies，“hesaid。
“ThereisoneIknowof，whoisnearlyrelatedtoyou，andwhodoesn’tdeservewhatyouhavesaidoftherestofthem。“
Thiswascomingtothepoint。SirPatrickshowedhisapprovalofArnold’sfranknessbycomingtothepointhimself，asreadilyashisownwhimsicalhumorwouldlethim。
“Isthisfemalephenomenonmyniece？“heinquired。
“Yes，SirPatrick。“
“MayIaskhowyouknowthatmynieceisnotanadulteratedarticle，liketherestofthem？“
Arnold’sindignationloosenedthelastrestraintsthattiedArnold’stongue。Heexplodedinthethreewordswhichmeanthreevolumesineverycirculatinglibraryinthekingdom。
“Iloveher。“
SirPatricksatbackinhischair，andstretchedouthislegsluxuriously。
“That’sthemostconvincinganswerIeverheardinmylife，“hesaid。
“I’minearnest!“criedArnold，recklessbythistimeofeveryconsiderationbutone。“Putmetothetest，Sir!putmetothetest!“
“Oh，verywell。Thetestiseasilyput。“HelookedatArnold，withtheirrepressiblehumortwinklingmerrilyinhiseyes，andtwitchingsharplyatthecornersofhislips。“Myniecehasabeautifulcomplexion。Doyoubelieveinhercomplexion？“
“There’sabeautifulskyaboveourheads，“returnedArnold。“I
believeinthesky。“
“Doyou？“retortedSirPatrick。“Youwereevidentlynevercaughtinashower。Myniecehasanimmensequantityofhair。Areyouconvincedthatitallgrowsonherhead？“
“Idefyanyotherwoman’sheadtoproducethelikeofit!“
“MydearArnold，yougreatlyunderratetheexistingresourcesofthetradeinhair!Lookintotheshop-windows。WhenyounextgotoLondonpraylookintotheshow-windows。Inthemeantime，whatdoyouthinkofmyniece’sfigure？“
“Oh，come!therecan’tbeanydoubtabout_that!_Anyman，witheyesinhishead，canseeit’stheloveliestfigureintheworld。“
SirPatricklaughedsoftly，andcrossedhislegsagain。
“Mygoodfellow，ofcourseitis!Theloveliestfigureintheworldisthecommonestthingintheworld。Ataroughguess，therearefortyladiesatthislawn-party。Everyoneofthempossessesabeautifulfigure。Itvariesinprice；andwhenit’sparticularlyseductiveyoumayswearitcomesfromParis。Why，howyoustare!WhenIaskedyouwhatyouthoughtofmyniece’sfigure，Imeant——howmuchofitcomesfromNature，andhowmuchofitcomesfromtheShop？Idon’tknow，mind!Doyou？“
“I’lltakemyoathtoeveryinchofit!“
“Shop？“
“Nature!“
SirPatrickrosetohisfeet；hissatiricalhumorwassilencedatlast。
“IfeverIhaveason，“hethoughttohimself，“thatsonshallgotosea!“HetookArnold’sarm，asapreliminarytoputtinganendtoArnold’ssuspense。“IfI_can_beseriousaboutanything，“
heresumed，“it’stimetobeseriouswithyou。Iamconvincedofthesincerityofyourattachment。AllIknowofyouisinyourfavor，andyourbirthandpositionarebeyonddispute。IfyouhaveBlanche’sconsent，youhavemine。“Arnoldattemptedtoexpresshisgratitude。SirPatrick，decliningtohearhim，wenton。“Andrememberthis，inthefuture。WhenyounextwantanythingthatIcangiveyou，askforitplainly。Don’tattempttomystify_me_onthenextoccasion，andIwillpromise，onmyside，nottomystify_you。_There，that’sunderstood。Nowaboutthisjourneyofyourstoseeyourestate。Propertyhasitsduties，MasterArnold，aswellasitsrights。Thetimeisfastcomingwhenitsrightswillbedisputed，ifitsdutiesarenotperformed。Ihavegotanewinterestinyou，andImeantoseethatyoudoyourduty。It’ssettledyouaretoleaveWindygatesto-day。Isitarrangedhowyouaretogo？“