ItwouldhavebeencheaperforPeythroppetohaveassaultedaCommissionerwithadog-whip，ortohaveburnedtherecordsofaDeputyCommissioner’sOffice，thantohavecontractedanalliancewiththeCastriesItwouldhaveweightedhisafter-careerless——
evenunderaGovernmentwhichneverforgetsandNEVER
forgives。
EverybodysawthisbutPeythroppeHewasgoingtomarryMissCastries，hewas——beingofageanddrawingagoodincome——andwoebetidethehousethatwouldnotafterwardsreceiveMrsVirginieSaulezPeythroppewiththedeferenceduetoherhusband’srank。
ThatwasPeythroppe’sultimatum，andanyremonstrancedrovehimfrantic。
ThesesuddenmadnessesmostafflictthesanestmenTherewasacaseonce——butIwilltellyouofthatlateronYoucannotaccountforthemania，exceptunderatheorydirectlycontradictingtheoneaboutthePlacewhereinmarriagesaremadePeythroppewasburninglyanxioustoputamillstoneroundhisneckattheoutsetofhiscareerandargumenthadnottheleasteffectonhimHewasgoingtomarryMissCastries，andthebusinesswashisownbusiness。
HewouldthankyoutokeepyouradvicetoyourselfWithamaninthiscondition，merewordsonlyfixhiminhispurposeOfcoursehecannotseethatmarriageoutheredoesnotconcerntheindividualbuttheGovernmentheserves。
DoyourememberMrsHauksbee——themostwonderfulwomaninIndia？
ShesavedPlufflesfromMrsReiver，wonTarrionhisappointmentintheForeignOffice，andwasdefeatedinopenfieldbyMrsCusack-
BremmilSheheardofthelamentableconditionofPeythroppe，andherbrainstruckouttheplanthatsavedhimShehadthewisdomoftheSerpent，thelogicalcoherenceoftheMan，thefearlessnessoftheChild，andthetripleintuitionoftheWomanNever——no，never——
aslongasatongabucketsdowntheSolondip，orthecouplesgoa-
ridingatthebackofSummerHill，willtherebesuchageniusasMrsHauksbeeSheattendedtheconsultationofThreeMenonPeythroppe’scase；andshestoodupwiththelashofherriding-whipbetweenherlipsandspake……
Threeweekslater，PeythroppedinedwiththeThreeMen，andtheGazetteofIndiacameinPeythroppefoundtohissurprisethathehadbeengazettedamonth’sleaveDon’taskmehowthiswasmanagedIbelievefirmlythatifMrsHauksbeegavetheorder，thewholeGreatIndianAdministrationwouldstandonitshead。
TheThreeMenhadalsoamonth’sleaveeachPeythroppeputtheGazettedownandsaidbadwordsThentherecamefromthecompoundthesoft“pad-pad“ofcamels——“thieves’camels。”thebikaneerbreedthatdon’tbubbleandhowlwhentheysitdownandgetup。
AfterthatIdon’tknowwhathappenedThismuchiscertain。
Peythroppedisappeared——vanishedlikesmoke——andthelongfoot-restchairinthehouseoftheThreeMenwasbrokentosplintersAlsoabedsteaddepartedfromoneofthebedrooms。
MrsHauksbeesaidthatMrPeythroppewasshootinginRajputanawiththeThreeMen；sowewerecompelledtobelieveher。
Attheendofthemonth，Peythroppewasgazettedtwentydays’
extensionofleave；buttherewaswrathandlamentationinthehouseofCastriesThemarriage-dayhadbeenfixed，butthebridegroomnevercame；andtheD’Silvas，Pereiras，andDuckettsliftedtheirvoicesandmockedHonoraryLieutenantCastriesasonewhohadbeenbaselyimposeduponMrsHauksbeewenttothewedding，andwasmuchastonishedwhenPeythroppedidnotappearAftersevenweeks，PeythroppeandtheThreeMenreturnedfromRajputana。
Peythroppewasinhard，toughcondition，ratherwhite，andmoreself-containedthanever。
OneoftheThreeMenhadacutonhisnose，causebythekickofagunTwelve-boreskickrathercuriously。
ThencameHonoraryLieutenantCastries，seekingforthebloodofhisperfidiousson-in-lawtobeHesaidthings——vulgarand“impossible“thingswhichshowedtherawrough“ranker“belowthe“Honorary。”andIfancyPeythroppe’seyeswereopenedAnyhow，heheldhispeacetilltheend；whenhespokebrieflyHonoraryLieutenantCastriesaskedfora“peg“beforehewentawaytodieorbringasuitforbreachofpromise。
MissCastrieswasaverygoodgirlShesaidthatshewouldhavenobreachofpromisesuitsShesaidthat，ifshewasnotalady，shewasrefinedenoughtoknowthatladieskepttheirbrokenheartstothemselves；and，assheruledherparents，nothinghappenedLateron，shemarriedamostrespectableandgentlemanlypersonHetravelledforanenterprisingfirminCalcutta，andwasallthatagoodhusbandshouldbe。
SoPeythroppecametohisrightmindagain，anddidmuchgoodwork，andwashonoredbyallwhoknewhimOneofthesedayshewillmarry；buthewillmarryasweetpink-and-whitemaiden，ontheGovernmentHouseList，withalittlemoneyandsomeinfluentialconnections，aseverywisemanshouldAndhewillnever，allhislife，tellherwhathappenedduringthesevenweeksofhisshooting-
tourinRajputana。
Butjustthinkhowmuchtroubleandexpense——forcamelhireisnotcheap，andthoseBikaneerbruteshadtobefedlikehumans——mighthavebeensavedbyaproperlyconductedMatrimonialDepartment，underthecontroloftheDirectorGeneralofEducation，butcorrespondingdirectwiththeViceroy。
THEARRESTOFLIEUTENANTGOLIGHTLY。
“’I’veforgottenthecountersign，’sez’e。
’Oh！You’aye，’aveyou？’sezI。
’ButI’mtheColonel，’sez’e。
’Oh！Youare，areyou？’sezI’ColonelnornoColonel，youwaits’eretillI’mrelieved，an’theSarjintreportsonyouruglyoldmugCoop！’sezI……
An’s’helpmesoul，’twastheColonelafterall！ButIwasarecruitythen。”
TheUneditedAutobiographyofPrivateOrtheris。
IFtherewasonethingonwhichGolightlypridedhimselfmorethananother，itwaslookinglike“anOfficerandagentleman。”HesaiditwasforthehonoroftheServicethatheattiredhimselfsoelaborately；butthosewhoknewhimbestsaidthatitwasjustpersonalvanityTherewasnoharmaboutGolightly——notanounce。
Herecognizedahorsewhenhesawone，andcoulddomorethanfillacantleHeplayedaveryfairgameatbilliards，andwasasoundmanatthewhist-tableEveryonelikedhim；andnobodyeverdreamedofseeinghimhandcuffedonastationplatformasadeserterButthissadthinghappened。
HewasgoingdownfromDalhousie，attheendofhisleave——ridingdownHehadcuthisleaveasfineashedared，andwantedtocomedowninahurry。
ItwasfairlywarmatDalhousie，andknowingwhattoexpectbelow，hedescendedinanewkhakisuit——tightfitting——ofadelicateolive-green；apeacock-bluetie，whitecollar，andasnowywhitesolahhelmetHepridedhimselfonlookingneatevenwhenhewasridingpostHedidlookneat，andhewassodeeplyconcernedabouthisappearancebeforehestartedthathequiteforgottotakeanythingbutsomesmallchangewithhimHeleftallhisnotesatthehotelHisservantshadgonedowntheroadbeforehim，tobereadyinwaitingatPathankotewithachangeofgearThatwaswhathecalledtravellingin“lightmarching-order。”Hewasproudofhisfacultyoforganization——whatwecallbundobust。
Twenty-twomilesoutofDalhousieitbegantorain——notamerehill-
shower，butagood，tepidmonsoonishdownpourGolightlybustledon，wishingthathehadbroughtanumbrellaThedustontheroadsturnedintomud，andtheponymiredagooddealSodidGolightly’skhakigaitersButhekeptonsteadilyandtriedtothinkhowpleasantthecoolthwas。
Hisnextponywasratherabruteatstarting，andGolightly’shandsbeingslipperywiththerain，contrivedtogetridofGolightlyatacornerHechasedtheanimal，caughtit，andwentaheadbriskly。
Thespillhadnotimprovedhisclothesorhistemper，andhehadlostonespurHekepttheotheroneemployedBythetimethatstagewasended，theponyhadhadasmuchexerciseashewanted，and，inspiteoftherain，GolightlywassweatingfreelyAttheendofanothermiserablehalf-hour，GolightlyfoundtheworlddisappearbeforehiseyesinclammypulpTherainhadturnedthepithofhishugeandsnowysolah-topeeintoanevil-smellingdough，andithadclosedonhisheadlikeahalf-openedmushroomAlsothegreenliningwasbeginningtorun。
GolightlydidnotsayanythingworthrecordinghereHetoreoffandsqueezedupasmuchofthebrimaswasinhiseyesandploughedonThebackofthehelmetwasflappingonhisneckandthesidesstucktohisears，buttheleatherbandandgreenliningkeptthingsroughlytogether，sothatthehatdidnotactuallymeltawaywhereitflapped。
Presently，thepulpandthegreenstuffmadeasortofslimymildewwhichranoverGolightlyinseveraldirections——downhisbackandbosomforchoiceThekhakicolorrantoo——itwasreallyshockinglybaddye——andsectionsofGolightlywerebrown，andpatcheswereviolet，andcontourswereochre，andstreakswereruddyred，andblotcheswerenearlywhite，accordingtothenatureandpeculiaritiesofthedyeWhenhetookouthishandkerchieftowipehisfaceandthegreenofthehat-liningandthepurplestuffthathadsoakedthroughontohisneckfromthetiebecamethoroughlymixed，theeffectwasamazing。
NearDhartherainstoppedandtheeveningsuncameoutanddriedhimupslightlyItfixedthecolors，tooThreemilesfromPathankotethelastponyfelldeadlame，andGolightlywasforcedtowalkHepushedonintoPathankotetofindhisservantsHedidnotknowthenthathiskhitmatgarhadstoppedbytheroadsidetogetdrunk，andwouldcomeonthenextdaysayingthathehadsprainedhisankleWhenhegotintoPathankote，hecouldn’tfindhisservants，hisbootswerestiffandropywithmud，andtherewerelargequantitiesofdirtabouthisbodyThebluetiehadrunasmuchasthekhakiSohetookitoffwiththecollarandthrewitawayThenhesaidsomethingaboutservantsgenerallyandtriedtogetapegHepaideightannasforthedrink，andthisrevealedtohimthathehadonlysixannasmoreinhispocket——orintheworldashestoodatthathour。
HewenttotheStation-Mastertonegotiateforafirst-classtickettoKhasa，wherehewasstationedThebooking-clerksaidsomethingtotheStation-Master，theStation-MastersaidsomethingtotheTelegraphClerk，andthethreelookedathimwithcuriosityTheyaskedhimtowaitforhalf-an-hour，whiletheytelegraphedtoUmritsarforauthoritySohewaited，andfourconstablescameandgroupedthemselvespicturesquelyroundhimJustashewaspreparingtoaskthemtogoaway，theStation-MastersaidthathewouldgivetheSahibatickettoUmritsar，iftheSahibwouldkindlycomeinsidethebooking-officeGolightlysteppedinside，andthenextthingheknewwasthataconstablewasattachedtoeachofhislegsandarms，whiletheStation-Masterwastryingtocramamailbagoverhishead。
Therewasaveryfairscuffleallroundthebooking-office，andGolightlyreceivedanastycutoverhiseyethroughfallingagainstatableButtheconstablesweretoomuchforhim，andtheyandtheStation-MasterhandcuffedhimsecurelyAssoonasthemail-bagwasslipped，hebeganexpressinghisopinions，andthehead-constablesaid：——“Withoutdoubtthisisthesoldier-Englishmanwerequired。
Listentotheabuse！”ThenGolightlyaskedtheStation-MasterwhatthethisandthethattheproceedingsmeantTheStation-Mastertoldhimhewas“PrivateJohnBinkleofthe——Regiment，5ft9
in。，fairhair，grayeyes，andadissipatedappearance，nomarksonthebody。”whohaddesertedafortnightagoGolightlybeganexplainingatgreatlength；andthemoreheexplainedthelesstheStation-MasterbelievedhimHesaidthatnoLieutenantcouldlooksucharuffianasdidGolightly，andthathisinstructionsweretosendhiscaptureunderproperescorttoUmritsarGolightlywasfeelingverydampanduncomfortable，andthelanguageheusedwasnotfitforpublication，eveninanexpurgatedformThefourconstablessawhimsafetoUmritsarinan“intermediate“
compartment，andhespentthefour-hourjourneyinabusingthemasfluentlyashisknowledgeofthevernacularsallowed。
AtUmritsarhewasbundledoutontheplatformintothearmsofaCorporalandtwomenofthe——RegimentGolightlydrewhimselfupandtriedtocarryoffmattersjauntilyHedidnotfeeltoojauntyinhandcuffs，withfourconstablesbehindhim，andthebloodfromthecutonhisforeheadstiffeningonhisleftcheekTheCorporalwasnotjoculareitherGolightlygotasfaras——“Thisisaveryabsurdmistake，mymen。”whentheCorporaltoldhimto“stowhislip“andcomealongGolightlydidnotwanttocomealong。
HedesiredtostopandexplainHeexplainedverywellindeed，untiltheCorporalcutinwith：——“YOUaorficer！It’sthelikeo’YOUasbringsdisgraceonthelikesofUSBloom-in’fineorficeryouare！