Don’tyoufear！’Honoryourfatherandmother，’wasn’tputonMoses’stablesofstonefornothing，Mr。Bashwood。Wheremayhebe，andwhatishedoingnow，sir？”
ThequestionwasineffectalmostthesameasthequestionwhichMidwinterhadputwhenthecircumstanceshadbeendescribedtohim。AsMr。Bashwoodhadanswereditontheformeroccasion，soinnearlythesamewordsheanswereditnow。
“MysonisinLondon，ma’am，forallIknowtothecontrary。Hewasemployed，whenIlastheardofhim，innoverycreditableway，atthePrivateInquiryOffice——“
Atthosewordshesuddenlycheckedhimself。Hisfaceflushed，hiseyesbrightened;hepushedawaythecupwhichhadjustbeenfilledforhim，androsefromhisseat。Thelandladystartedbackastep。Therewassomethinginherlodger’sfacethatshehadneverseeninitbefore。
“IhopeI’venotoffendedyou，sir。”saidthewoman，recoveringherself-possession，andlookingalittletooreadytotakeoffenseonherside，atamoment’snotice。
“Farfromit，ma’am，farfromit！“herejoined，inastrangelyeager，hurriedway。“Ihavejustrememberedsomething——somethingveryimportant。Imustgoupstairs——it’saletter，aletter，aletter。I’llcomebacktomytea，ma’am。Ibegyourpardon，I’mmuchobligedtoyou，you’vebeenverykind——I’llsaygood-by，ifyou’llallowme，forthepresent。”Tothelandlady’samazement，hecordiallyshookhandswithher，andmadeforthedoor，leavingteaandtea-pottotakecareofthemselves。
Themomenthereachedhisownroom，helockedhimselfin。Foralittlewhilehestoodholdingbythechimney-piece，waitingtorecoverhisbreath。Themomenthecouldmoveagain，heopenedhiswriting-deskonthetable。“Thatforyou，Mr。PedgiftandSon！“
hesaid，withasnapofhisfingersashesatdown。“I’vegotasontoo！“
Therewasaknockatthedoor——aknock，soft，considerate，andconfidential。TheanxiouslandladywishedtoknowwhetherMr。
Bashwoodwasill，andbeggedtointimateforthesecondtimethatsheearnestlytrustedshehadgivenhimnooffense。
“No！no！“hecalledthroughthedoor。“I’mquitewell——I’mwriting，ma’am，I’mwriting——pleasetoexcuseme。She’sagoodwoman;she’sanexcellentwoman。”hethought，whenthelandladyhadretired。“I’llmakeheralittlepresent。Mymind’ssounsettled，Imightneverhavethoughtofitbutforher。Oh，ifmyboyisattheofficestill！Oh，ifIcanonlywritealetterthatwillmakehimpityme！“
Hetookuphispen，andsatthinkinganxiously，thinkinglong，beforehetouchedthepaper。Slowly，withmanypatientpausestothinkandthinkagain，andwithmorethanordinarycaretomakehiswritinglegible，hetracedtheselines:
“MYDEARJAMES——Youwillbesurprised，Iamafraid，toseemyhandwriting。Praydon’tsupposeIamgoingtoaskyouformoney，ortoreproachyouforhavingsoldmeoutofhouseandhomewhenyouforfeitedyoursecurity，andIhadtopay。Iamwillingandanxioustoletby-gonesbeby-gones，andtoforgetthepast。
“ItisinyourpowerifyouarestillatthePrivateInquiryOfficetodomeagreatservice。IaminsoreanxietyandtroubleonthesubjectofapersoninwhomIaminterested。Thepersonisalady。Pleasedon’tmakegameofmeforconfessingthis，ifyoucanhelpit。IfyouknewwhatIamnowsuffering，I
thinkyouwouldbemoreinclinedtopitythantomakegameofme。
“Iwouldenterintoparticulars，onlyIknowyourquicktemper，andIfearexhaustingyourpatience。PerhapsitmaybeenoughtosaythatIhavereasontobelievethelady’spastlifehasnotbeenaverycreditableone，andthatIaminterested——moreinterestedthanwordscantell——infindingoutwhatherlifehasreallybeen，andinmakingthediscoverywithinafortnightfromthepresenttime。
“ThoughIknowverylittleaboutthewaysofbusinessinanofficelikeyours，Icanunderstandthat，withoutfirsthavingthelady’spresentaddress，nothingcanbedonetohelpme。
Unfortunately，Iamnotyetacquaintedwithherpresentaddress。
Ionlyknowthatshewenttotownto-day，accompaniedbyagentleman，inwhoseemploymentInowam，andwhoasIbelieve
willbelikelytowritetomeformoneybeforemanydaysmoreareoverhishead。
“Isthiscircumstanceofanaturetohelpus？Iventuretosay’us，’becauseIcountalready，mydearboy，onyourkindassistanceandadvice。Don’tletmoneystandbetweenus;Ihavesavedalittlesomething，anditisallfreelyatyourdisposal。
Pray，praywritetomebyreturnofpost！IfyouwillonlytryyourbesttoendthedreadfulsuspenseunderwhichIamnowsuffering，youwillatoneforallthegriefanddisappointmentyoucausedmeintimesthatarepast，andyouwillconferanobligationthathewillneverforgeton“Youraffectionatefather，“FELIXBASHWOOD。”
Afterwaitingalittle，todryhiseyes，Mr。Bashwoodaddedthedateandaddress，anddirectedthelettertohisson，at“ThePrivateInquiryOffice，ShadysidePlace，London。”Thatdone，hewentoutatonce，andpostedhisletterwithhisownhands。ItwasthenMonday;and，iftheanswerwassentbyreturnofpost，theanswerwouldbereceivedonWednesdaymorning。
Theintervalday，theTuesday，waspassedbyMr。Bashwoodinthesteward’sofficeatthegreathouse。Hehadadoublemotiveforabsorbinghimselfasdeeplyasmightbeinthevariousoccupationsconnectedwiththemanagementoftheestate。Inthefirstplace，employmenthelpedhimtocontrolthedevouringimpatiencewithwhichhelookedforthecomingofthenextday。
Inthesecondplace，themoreforwardhewaswiththebusinessoftheoffice，themorefreehewouldbetojoinhissoninLondon，withoutattractingsuspiciontohimselfbyopenlyneglectingtheinterestsplacedunderhischarge。
TowardtheTuesdayafternoon，vaguerumorsofsomethingwrongatthecottagefoundtheirwaythroughMajorMilroy’sservantstotheservantsatthegreathouse，andattemptedineffectuallythroughthislatterchanneltoengagetheattentionofMr。
Bashwood，impenetrablyfixedonotherthings。ThemajorandMissNeeliehadbeenshutuptogetherinmysteriousconference;andMissNeelie’sappearanceafterthecloseoftheinterviewplainlyshowedthatshehadbeencrying。ThishadhappenedontheMondayafternoon;andonthenextdaythatpresentTuesdaythemajorhadstartledthehouseholdbyannouncingbrieflythathisdaughterwantedachangetotheairoftheseaside，andthatheproposedtakingherhimself，bythenexttrain，toLowestoft。Thetwohadgoneawaytogether，bothveryseriousandsilent，butboth，apparently，verygoodfriends，forallthat。OpinionsatthegreathouseattributedthisdomesticrevolutiontothereportscurrentonthesubjectofAllanandMissGwilt。Opinionsatthecottagerejectedthatsolutionofthedifficulty，onpracticalgrounds。MissNeeliehadremainedinaccessiblyshutupinherownroom，fromtheMondayafternoontotheTuesdaymorningwhenherfathertookheraway。Themajor，duringthesameinterval，hadnotbeenoutsidethedoor，andhadspokentonobodyAndMrs。Milroy，atthefirstattemptofhernewattendanttoinformheroftheprevailingscandalinthetown，hadsealedtheservant’slipsbyflyingintooneofherterriblepassionstheinstantMissGwilt’snamewasmentioned。Somethingmusthavehappened，ofcourse，totakeMajorMilroyandhisdaughtersosuddenlyfromhome;butthatsomethingwascertainlynotMr。
Armadale’sscandalouselopement，inbroaddaylight，withMissGwilt。
Theafternoonpassed，andtheeveningpassed，andnoothereventhappenedbutthepurelyprivateandpersonaleventwhichhadtakenplaceatthecottage。Nothingoccurredfornothinginthenatureofthings_could_occurtodissipatethedelusiononwhichMissGwilthadcounted——thedelusionwhichallThorpeAmbrosenowsharedwithMr。Bashwood，thatshehadgoneprivatelytoLondonwithAllaninthecharacterofAllan’sfuturewife。
OntheWednesdaymorning，thepostman，enteringthestreetinwhichMr。Bashwoodlived，wasencounteredbyMr。Bashwoodhimself，soeagertoknowiftherewasaletterforhimthathehadcomeoutwithouthishat。There_was_aletterforhim——theletterthathelongedforfromhisvagabondson。
ThesewerethetermsinwhichBashwoodtheyoungeransweredhisfather’ssupplicationforhelp——afterhavingpreviouslyruinedhisfather’sprospectsforlife:
“ShadysidePlace。Tuesday，July29th。
“MYDEARDAD——Wehavesomelittlepracticeindealingwithmysteriesatthisoffice;butthemysteryofyourletterbeatsmealtogether。Areyouspeculatingontheinterestinghiddenfrailtiesofsomecharmingwoman？Or，after_your_experienceofmatrimony，areyouactuallygoingtogivemeastepmotheratthistimeofday？Whicheveritis，uponmylifeyourletterinterestsme。
“Iamnotjoking，mind——thoughthetemptationisnotaneasyonetoresist。Onthecontrary，Ihavegivenyouaquarterofanhourofmyvaluabletimealready。Theplaceyoudatefromsoundedsomehowfamiliartome。Ireferredbacktothememorandumbook，andfoundthatIwassentdowntoThorpeAmbrosetomakeprivateinquiriesnotverylongsince。Myemployerwasalivelyoldlady，whowastooslytogiveusherrightnameandaddress。Asamatterofcourse，wesettoworkatonce，andfoundoutwhoshewas。HernameisMrs。Oldershaw;and，ifyouthinkof_her_formystepmother，IstronglyrecommendyoutothinkagainbeforeyoumakeherMrs。Bashwood。
“IfitisnotMrs。Oldershaw，thenallIcando，sofar，istotellyouhowyoumayfindouttheunknownlady’saddress。CometotownyourselfassoonasyougettheletteryouexpectfromthegentlemanwhohasgoneawaywithherIhopeheisnotahandsomeyoungman，foryoursakeandcallhere。Iwillsendsomebodytohelpyouinwatchinghishotelorlodgings;andifhecommunicateswiththelady，ortheladywithhim，youmayconsiderheraddressdiscoveredfromthatmoment。Onceletmeidentifyher，andknowwheresheis，andyoushallseeallhercharminglittlesecretsasplainlyasyouseethepaperonwhichyouraffectionatesonisnowwritingtoyou。
“Awordmoreabouttheterms。Iamaswillingasyouaretobefriendsagain;but，thoughIownyouwereoutofpocketbymeonce，Ican’taffordtobeoutofpocketbyyou。Itmustbeunderstoodthatyouareanswerableforalltheexpensesoftheinquiry。Wemayhavetoemploysomeofthewomenattachedtothisoffice，ifyourladyistoowideawakeortoonice-lookingtobedealtwithbyaman。Therewillbecabhire，andpostage-stamps——admissionstopublicamusements，ifsheisinclinedthatway——shillingsforpew-openers，ifsheisserious，andtakesourpeopleintochurchestohearpopularpreachers，andsoon。Myownprofessionalservicesyoushallhavegratis;butI
can’tlosebyyouaswell。Onlyrememberthat，andyoushallhaveyourway。By-gonesshallbeby-gones，andwewillforgetthepast。
“Youraffectionateson，“JAMESBASHWOOD。”
Intheecstasyofseeinghelpplacedatlastwithinhisreach，thefatherputhisson’satrociouslettertohislips。“Mygoodboy！“hemurmured，tenderly——“mydear，goodboy！“
Heputtheletterdown，andfellintoanewtrainofthought。Thenextquestiontofacewastheseriousquestionoftime。Mr。
PedgifthadtoldhimMissGwiltmightbemarriedinafortnight。
Onedayofthefourteenhadpassedalready，andanotherwaspassing。Hebeathishandimpatientlyonthetableathisside，wonderinghowsoonthewantofmoneywouldforceAllantowritetohimfromLondon。“To-morrow？”heaskedhimself。“Ornextday？”
Themorrowpassed，andnothinghappened。Thenextdaycame，andtheletterarrived！Itwasonbusiness，ashehadanticipated;itaskedformoney，ashehadanticipated;andthere，attheendofit，inapostscript，wastheaddressadded，concludingwiththewords，“Youmaycountonmystayingheretillfurthernotice。”
Hegaveonedeepgaspofrelief，andinstantlybusiedhimself——thoughtherewerenearlytwohourstosparebeforethetrainstartedforLondon——inpackinghisbag。Thelastthingheputinwashisbluesatincravat。“Shelikesbrightcolors。”hesaid，“andshemayseemeinityet！“
CHAPTERXIV。
MISSGWILT’SDIARY。
“AllSaints’Terrace，NewRoad，London，July28th，Mondaynight——Icanhardlyholdmyheadup，Iamsotired。Butinmysituation，Idarenottrustanythingtomemory。BeforeIgotobed，Imustwritemycustomaryrecordoftheeventsoftheday。
“Sofar，theturnofluckinmyfavoritwaslongenoughbeforeittooktheturn！seemslikelytocontinue。IsucceededinforcingArmadale——thebruterequirednothingshortofforcing！——toleaveThorpeAmbroseforLondon，aloneinthesamecarriagewithme，beforeallthepeopleinthestation。Therewasafullattendanceofdealersinsmallscandal，allstaringhardatus，andallevidentlydrawingtheirownconclusions。EitherI
knewnothingofThorpeAmbrose——orthetowngossipisbusyenoughbythistimewithMr。ArmadaleandMissGwilt。
“Ihadsomedifficultywithhimforthefirsthalf-hourafterweleftthestation。Theguarddelightfulman！Ifeltsogratefultohim！hadshutusuptogether，inexpectationofhalfacrownattheendofthejourney。Armadalewassuspiciousofme，andheshoweditplainly。LittlebylittleItamedmywildbeast——partlybytakingcaretodisplaynocuriosityabouthisjourneytotown，andpartlybyinterestinghimonthesubjectofhisfriendMidwinter;dwellingespeciallyontheopportunitythatnowoffereditselfforareconciliationbetweenthem。IkeptharpingonthisstringtillIsethistonguegoing，andmadehimamusemeasagentlemanisboundtodowhenhehasthehonorofescortingaladyonalongrailwayjourney。
“Whatlittlemindhehaswasfull，ofcourse，ofhisownaffairsandMissMilroy’s。Nowordscanexpresstheclumsinessheshowedintryingtotalkabouthimself，withouttakingmeintohisconfidenceormentioningMissMilroy’sname。
“HewasgoingtoLondon，hegravelyinformedme，onamatterofindescribableinteresttohim。Itwasasecretforthepresent，buthehopedtotellitmesoon;ithadmadeagreatdifferencealreadyinthewayinwhichhelookedattheslandersspokenofhiminThorpeAmbrose;hewastoohappytocarewhatthescandal-mongerssaidofhimnow，andheshouldsoonstoptheirmouthsbyappearinginanewcharacterthatwouldsurprisethemall。Soheblunderedon，withthefirmpersuasionthathewaskeepingmequiteinthedark。Itwashardnottolaugh，whenI
thoughtofmyanonymousletteronitswaytothemajor;butI
managedtocontrolmyself——though，Imustown，withsomedifficulty。Asthetimeworeon，Ibegantofeelaterribleexcitement;thepositionwas，Ithink，alittletoomuchforme。
ThereIwas，alonewithhim，talkinginthemostinnocent，easy，familiarmanner，andhavingitinmymindallthetimetobrushhislifeoutofmyway，whenthemomentcomes，asImightbrushastainoffmygown。Itmademybloodleap，andmychecksflush。I
caughtmyselflaughingonceortwicemuchlouderthanIought;
andlongbeforewegottoLondonIthoughtitdesirabletoputmyfaceinhidingbypullingdownmyveil。
“Therewasnodifficulty，onreachingtheterminus，ingettinghimtocomeinthecabwithmetothehotelwhereMidwinterisstaying。Hewasalleagernesstobereconciledwithhisdearfriend——principally，Ihavenodoubt，becausehewantsthedearfriendtolendahelpinghandtotheelopement。Therealdifficultylay，ofcourse，withMidwinter。MysuddenjourneytoLondonhadallowedmenoopportunityofwritingtocombathissuperstitiousconvictionthatheandhisformerfriendarebetterapart。IthoughtitwisetoleaveArmadaleinthecabatthedoor，andtogointothehotelbymyselftopavethewayforhim。
“Fortunately，Midwinterhadnotgoneout。Hisdelightatseeingmesomedayssoonerthanhehadhopedhadsomethinginfectiousinit，Isuppose。Pooh！Imayownthetruthtomyowndiary！Therewasamomentwhen_I_forgoteverythingintheworldbutourtwoselvesascompletelyashedid。IfeltasifIwasbackinmyteens——untilIrememberedtheloutinthecabatthedoor。AndthenIwasfive-and-thirtyagaininaninstant。
“Hisfacealteredwhenheheardwhowasbelow，andwhatitwasI
wantedofhim;helookednotangry，butdistressed。Heyielded，however，beforelong，nottomyreasons，forIgavehimnone，buttomyentreaties。Hisoldfondnessforhisfriendmightpossiblyhavehadsomeshareinpersuadinghimagainsthiswill;butmyownopinionisthatheactedentirelyundertheinfluenceofhisfondnessforMe。
“Iwaitedinthesitting-roomwhilehewentdowntothedoor;soIknewnothingofwhatpassedbetweenthemwhentheyfirstsaweachotheragain。Butoh，thedifferencebetweenthetwomenwhentheintervalhadpassed，andtheycameupstairstogetherandjoinedme。
“Theywerebothagitated，butinsuchdifferentways！ThehatefulArmadale，soloudandredandclumsy;thedear，lovableMidwinter，sopaleandquiet，withsuchagentlenessinhisvoicewhenhespoke，andsuchtendernessinhiseyeseverytimetheyturnedmyway。ArmadaleoverlookedmeascompletelyasifIhadnotbeenintheroom。_He_referredtomeoverandoveragainintheconversation;_he_constantlylookedatmetoseewhatI
thought，whileIsatinmycornersilentlywatchingthem;_he_
wantedtogowithmeandseemesafetomylodgings，andsparemealltroublewiththecabmanandtheluggage。WhenIthankedhimanddeclined，Armadalelookedunaffectedlyrelievedattheprospectofseeingmybackturned，andofhavinghisfriendalltohimself。Ilefthim，withhisawkwardelbowshalfoverthetable，scrawlingaletternodoubttoMissMilroy，andshoutingtothewaiterthathewantedabedatthehotel。Ihadcalculatedonhisstaying，asamatterofcourse，wherehefoundhisfriendstaying。Itwaspleasanttofindmyanticipationsrealized，andtoknowthatIhaveasgoodasgothimnowundermyowneye。
“AfterpromisingtoletMidwinterknowwherehecouldseemeto-morrow，Iwentawayinthecabtohuntforlodgingsbymyself。
“WithsomedifficultyIhavesucceededingettinganendurablesitting-roomandbedroominthishouse，wherethepeopleareperfectstrangerstome。Havingpaidaweek’srentinadvanceforInaturallypreferreddispensingwithareference，Ifindmyselfwithexactlythreeshillingsandninepenceleftinmypurse。ItisimpossibletoaskMidwinterformoney，afterhehasalreadypaidMrs。Oldershaw’snoteofhand。Imustborrowsomethingto-morrowonmywatchandchainatthepawnbroker’s。
Enoughtokeepmegoingforafortnightisall，andmorethanall，thatIwant。Inthattime，orinlessthanthattime，Midwinterwillhavemarriedme。
“July29th——Twoo’clock——EarlyinthemorningIsentalinetoMidwinter，tellinghimthathewouldfindmehereatthreethisafternoon。Thatdone，Idevotedthemorningtotwoerrandsofmyown。Oneishardlyworthmentioning——itwasonlytoraisemoneyonmywatchandchain。IgotmorethanIexpected;andmoreevensupposingIbuymyselfoneortwolittlethingsinthewayofcheapsummerdressthanIamatalllikelytospendbeforethewedding-day。
“Theothererrandwasofafarmoreseriouskind。Itledmeintoanattorney’soffice。
“IwaswellawarelastnightthoughIwastoowearytoputitdowninmydiary，thatIcouldnotpossiblyseeMidwinterthismorning——inthepositionhenowoccupiestowardme——withoutatleast_appearing_totakehimintomyconfidenceonthesubjectofmyselfandmycircumstances。ExceptingonenecessaryconsiderationwhichImustbecarefulnottooverlook。thereisnottheleastdifficultyinmydrawingonmyinvention，andtellinghimanystoryIplease——forthusfarIhavetoldnostorytoanybody。MidwinterwentawaytoLondonbeforeitwaspossibletoapproachthesubject。AstotheMilroyshavingprovidedthemwiththecustomaryreference，Icouldfortunatelykeepthematarms-lengthonallquestionsrelatingpurelytomyself。Andlastly，whenIaffectedmyreconciliationwithArmadaleonthedriveinfrontofthehouse，hewasfoolenoughtobetoogeneroustoletmedefendmycharacter。WhenIhadexpressedmyregretforhavinglostmytemperandthreatenedMissMilroy，andwhenIhadacceptedhisassurancethatmypupilhadneverdoneormeanttodomeanyinjury，hewastoomagnanimoustohearawordonthesubjectofmyprivateaffairs。ThusIamquiteunfetteredbyanyformerassertionsofmyown;andImaytellanystoryI
please——withtheonedrawbackhintedatalreadyintheshapeofarestraint。WhateverImayinventinthewayofpurefiction，I
mustpreservethecharacterinwhichIhaveappearedatThorpeAmbrose;for，withthenotorietythatisattachedto_myothername，_IhavenootherchoicebuttomarryMidwinterinmymaidennameas’MissGwilt。’
“Thiswastheconsiderationthattookmeintothelawyer’soffice。IfeltthatImustinformmyself，beforeIsawMidwinterlaterintheday，ofanyawkwardconsequencesthatmayfollowthemarriageofawidowifsheconcealsherwidow’sname。
“KnowingofnootherprofessionalpersonwhomIcouldtrust，I
wentboldlytothelawyerwhohadmyinterestsinhischarge，atthatterriblepasttimeinmylife，whichIhavemorereasonthanevertoshrinkfromthinkingofnow。Hewasastonished，and，asI
couldplainlydetect，bynomeanspleasedtoseeme。IhadhardlyopenedmylipsbeforehesaidhehopedIwasnotconsultinghim_again_withastrongemphasisonthewordonmyownaccount。I
tookthehint，andputthequestionIhadcometoask，intheinterestsofthataccommodatingpersonageonsuchoccasions——anabsentfriend。Thelawyerevidentlysawthroughitatonce;buthewassharpenoughtoturnmy’friend’togoodaccountonhisside。Hesaidhewouldanswerthequestionasamatterofcourtesytowardaladyrepresentedbymyself;buthemustmakeitaconditionthatthisconsultationofhimbydeputyshouldgonofurther。
“Iacceptedhisterms;forIreallyrespectedtheclevermannerinwhichhecontrivedtokeepmeatarms-lengthwithoutviolatingthelawsofgood-breeding。IntwominutesIheardwhathehadtosay，mastereditinmyownmind，andwentout。
“Shortasitwas，theconsultationtoldmeeverythingIwantedtoknow。IrisknothingbymarryingMidwinterinmymaideninsteadofmywidow’sname。Themarriageisagoodmarriageinthisway:
thatitcanonlybesetasideifmyhusbandfindsouttheimposture，andtakesproceedingstoinvalidateourmarriageinmylifetime。Thatisthelawyer’sanswerinthelawyer’sownwords。
Itrelievesmeatonce——inthisdirection，atanyrate——ofallapprehensionaboutthefuture。Theonlyimposturemyhusbandwilleverdiscover——andthenonlyifhehappenstobeonthespot——istheimposturethatputsmeintheplace，andgivesmetheincome，ofArmadale’swidow;andbythattimeIshallhaveinvalidatedmyownmarriageforever。
“Half-pasttwo！Midwinterwillbehereinhalfanhour。ImustgoandaskmyglasshowIlook。Imustrousemyinvention，andmakeupmylittledomesticromance。AmIfeelingnervousaboutit？
Somethingfluttersintheplacewheremyheartusedtobe。Atfive-and-thirty，too！andaftersuchalifeasmine！
Sixo’clock——Hehasjustgone。Thedayforourmarriageisadaydeterminedonalready。
“Ihavetriedtorestandrecovermyself。Ican’trest。Ihavecomebacktotheseleaves。ThereismuchtobewritteninthemsinceMidwinterhasbeenhere，thatconcernsmenearly。
“LetmebeginwithwhatIhatemosttoremember，andsobethesoonerdonewithit——letmebeginwiththepaltrystringoffalsehoodswhichItoldhimaboutmyfamilytroubles。
“What_can_bethesecretofthisman’sholdonme？HowisitthathealtersmesothatIhardlyknowmyselfagain？IwaslikemyselfintherailwaycarriageyesterdaywithArmadale。Itwassurelyfrightfultobetalkingtothelivingman，throughthewholeofthatlongjourney，withtheknowledgeinmeallthewhilethatImeanttobehiswidow——andyetIwasonlyexcitedandfevered。HourafterhourInevershrunkoncefromspeakingtoArmadale;butthefirsttrumperyfalsehoodItoldMidwinterturnedmecoldwhenIsawthathebelievedit！Ifeltadreadfulhystericalchokinginthethroatwhenheentreatedmenottorevealmytroubles。Andonce——IamhorrifiedwhenIthinkofit——once，whenhesaid，’IfI_could_loveyoumoredearly，I
shouldloveyoumoredearlynow，’Iwaswithinahair-breadthofturningtraitortomyself。Iwasontheverypointofcryingouttohim，’Lies！alllies！I’mafiendinhumanshape！Marrythewretchedestcreaturethatprowlsthestreets，andyouwillmarryabetterwomanthanme！’Yes！theseeinghiseyesmoisten，thehearinghisvoicetremble，whileIwasdeceivinghim，shookmeinthatway。Ihaveseenhandsomermenbyhundreds，cleverermenbydozens。Whatcanthismanhaverousedinme？IsitLove？I
thoughtI_had_loved，nevertoloveagain。Doesawomannotlovewhentheman’shardnesstoherdriveshertodrownherself？Amandrove_me_tothatlastdespairindaysgoneby。DidallmymiseryatthattimecomefromsomethingwhichwasnotLove？HaveIlivedtobefive-and-thirty，andamIonlyfeelingnowwhatLovereallyis？——now，whenitistoolate？Ridiculous！Besides，whatistheuseofasking？WhatdoIknowaboutit？Whatdoesanywomaneverknow？Themorewethinkofit，themorewedeceiveourselves。IwishIhadbeenbornananimal。Mybeautymighthavebeenofsomeusetomethen——itmighthavegotmeagoodmaster。
“Hereisawholepageofmydiaryfilled;andnothingwrittenyetthatisoftheslightestusetome！Mymiserablemade-upstorymustbetoldoveragainhere，whiletheincidentsarefreshinmymemory——orhowamItorefertoitconsistentlyonafter-occasionswhenImaybeobligedtospeakofitagain？
“TherewasnothingnewinwhatItoldhim;itwasthecommonplacerubbishofthecirculatinglibraries。Adeadfather;alostfortune;vagabondbrothers，whomIdreadeverseeingagain;abedriddenmotherdependentonmyexertions——No！Ican’twriteitdown！Ihatemyself，Idespisemyself，whenIrememberthat_he_
believeditbecauseIsaidit——that_he_wasdistressedbyitbecauseitwasmystory！Iwillfacethechancesofcontradictingmyself——Iwillriskdiscoveryandruin——anythingratherthandwellonthatcontemptibledeceptionofhimamomentlonger。
“Myliescametoanendatlast。Andthenhetalkedtomeofhimselfandofhisprospects。Oh，whatareliefitwastoturntothatatthetime！Whatareliefitistocometoitnow！
“HehasacceptedtheofferaboutwhichhewrotetomeatThorpeAmbrose;andheisnowengagedasoccasionalforeigncorrespondenttothenewnewspaper。HisfirstdestinationisNaples。Iwishithadbeensomeotherplace，forIhavecertainpastassociationswithNapleswhichIamnotatallanxioustorenew。IthasbeenarrangedthatheistoleaveEnglandnotlaterthantheeleventhofnextmonth。Bythattime，therefore，I，whoamtogowithhim，mustgowithhimashiswife。
“Thereisnottheslightestdifficultyaboutthemarriage。AllthispartofitissoeasythatIbegintodreadanaccident。
“Theproposaltokeepthethingstrictlyprivate——whichitmighthaveembarrassedmetomake——comesfromMidwinter。Marryingmeinhisownname——thenamethathehaskeptconcealedfromeverylivingcreaturebutmyselfandMr。Brock——itishisinterestthatnotasoulwhoknowshimshouldbepresentattheceremony;hisfriendArmadaleleastofall。HehasbeenaweekinLondonalready。Whenanotherweekhaspassed，heproposestogettheLicense，andtobemarriedinthechurchbelongingtotheparishinwhichthehotelissituated。Thesearetheonlynecessaryformalities。Ihadbuttosay’Yes’hetoldme，andtofeelnofurtheranxietyaboutthefuture。Isaid’Yes’withsuchadevouringanxietyaboutthefuturethatIwasafraidhewouldseeit。Whatminutesthenextfewminuteswere，whenhewhispereddeliciouswordstome，whileIhidmyfaceonhisbreast！
“Irecoveredmyselffirst，andledhimbacktothesubjectofArmadale，havingmyownreasonsforwantingtoknowwhattheysaidtoeachotherafterIhadleftthemyesterday。
“ThemannerinwhichMidwinterrepliedshowedmethathewasspeakingundertherestraintofrespectingaconfidenceplacedinhimbyhisfriend。Longbeforehehaddone，Idetectedwhattheconfidencewas。ArmadalehadbeenconsultinghimexactlyasI
anticipatedonthesubjectoftheelopement。Althoughheappearstohaveremonstratedagainsttakingthegirlsecretlyawayfromherhome，Midwinterseemstohavefeltsomedelicacyaboutspeakingstrongly，rememberingwidelydifferentasthecircumstancesarethathewascontemplatingaprivatemarriagehimself。Igathered，atanyrate，thathehadproducedverylittleeffectbywhathehadsaid;andthatArmadalehadalreadycarriedouthisabsurdintentionofconsultingthehead-clerkintheofficeofhisLondonlawyers。
“Havinggotasfarasthis，MidwinterputthequestionwhichI
feltmustcomesoonerorlater。HeaskedifIobjectedtoourengagementbeingmentioned，inthestrictestsecrecy，tohisfriend。
“’Iwillanswer，’hesaid，’forAllan’srespectinganyconfidencethatIplaceinhim。AndIwillundertake，whenthetimecomes，sotousemyinfluenceoverhimastopreventhisbeingpresentatthemarriage，anddiscoveringwhathemustneverknowthatmynameisthesameashisown。Itwouldhelpme，’hewenton，’tospeakmorestronglyabouttheobjectthathasbroughthimtoLondon，ifIcanrequitethefranknesswithwhichhehasspokenofhisprivateaffairstomebythesamefranknessonmyside。’
“Ihadnochoicebuttogivethenecessarypermission，andIgaveit。ItisoftheutmostimportancetometoknowwhatcourseMajorMilroytakeswithhisdaughterandArmadaleafterreceivingmyanonymousletter;and，unlessIinviteArmadale’sconfidenceinsomeway，Iamnearlycertaintobekeptinthedark。LethimoncebetrustedwiththeknowledgethatIamtobeMidwinter’swife，andwhathetellshisfriendabouthisloveaffairhewilltellme。
“WhenithadbeenunderstoodbetweenusthatArmadalewastobetakenintoourconfidence，webegantotalkaboutourselvesagain。Howthetimeflew！Whatasweetenchantmentitwastoforgeteverythinginhisarms！Howhelovesme！——ah，poorfellow，howhelovesme！
“Ihavepromisedtomeethimto-morrowmorningintheRegent’sPark。Thelessheisseenherethebetter。Thepeopleinthishousearestrangerstome，certainly;butitmaybewisetoconsultappearances，asifIwasstillatThorpeAmbrose，andnottoproducetheimpression，evenontheirminds，thatMidwinterisengagedtome。Ifanyafter-inquiriesaremade，whenIhaverunmygrandrisk，thetestimonyofmyLondonlandladymightbetestimonyworthhaving。
“ThatwretchedoldBashwood！WritingofThorpeAmbroseremindsmeofhim。WhatwillhesaywhenthetowngossiptellshimthatArmadalehastakenmetoLondon，inacarriagereservedforourselves？ItreallyistooabsurdinamanofBashwood’sageandappearancetopresumetobeinlove！……
“July30th——Newsatlast！ArmadalehasheardfromMissMilroy。
Myanonymousletterhasproduceditseffect。ThegirlisremovedfromThorpeAmbrosealready;andthewholeprojectoftheelopementisblowntothewindsatonceandforever。ThiswasthesubstanceofwhatMidwinterhadtotellmewhenImethiminthePark。Iaffectedtobeexcessivelyastonished，andtofeelthenecessaryfemininelongingtoknowalltheparticulars。’NotthatIexpecttohavemycuriositysatisfied，’Iadded，’forMr。
ArmadaleandIarelittlebetterthanmereacquaintances，afterall。’
“’YouarefarmorethanamereacquaintanceinAllan’seyes，’
saidMidwinter。’Havingyourpermissiontotrusthim，Ihavealreadytoldhimhownearanddearyouaretome。’
“Hearingthis，Ithoughtitdesirable，beforeIputanyquestionsaboutMissMilroy，toattendtomyowninterestsfirst，andtofindoutwhateffecttheannouncementofmycomingmarriagehadproducedonArmadale。Itwaspossiblethathemightbestillsuspiciousofme，andthattheinquirieshemadeinLondon，atMrs。Milroy’sinstigation，mightbestillhangingonhismind。
“’DidMr。Armadaleseemsurprised，’Iasked，’whenyoutoldhimofourengagement，andwhenyousaiditwastobekeptasecretfromeverybody？’
“’Heseemedgreatlysurprised，’saidMidwinter，’tohearthatweweregoingtobemarried。AllhesaidwhenItoldhimitmustbekeptasecretwasthathesupposedtherewerereasonsonyoursideformakingthemarriageaprivateone。’
“’Whatdidyousay，’Iinquired，’whenhemadethatremark？’
“’Isaidthereasonswereonmyside，’answeredMidwinter。’AndIthoughtitrighttoadd——consideringthatAllanhadallowedhimselftobemisledbytheignorantdistrustofyouatThorpeAmbrose——thatyouhadconfidedtomethewholeofyoursadfamilystory，andthatyouhadamplyjustifiedyourunwillingness;underanyordinarycircumstances，tospeakofyourprivateaffairs。’
“Ibreathedfreelyagain。Hehadsaidjustwhatwaswanted，justintherightway。
“’Thankyou，’Isaid，’forputtingmerightinyourfriend’sestimation。Doeshewishtoseeme？’Iadded，bywayofgettingbacktotheothersubjectofMissMilroyandtheelopement。
“’Heislongingtoseeyou，’returnedMidwinter。’Heisingreatdistress，poorfellow——distresswhichIhavedonemybesttosoothe，butwhich，Ibelieve，wouldyieldfarmorereadilytoawoman’ssympathythantomine。’
“’Whereishenow？’Iasked。
“Hewasatthehotel;andtothehotelIinstantlyproposedthatweshouldgo。Itisabusy，crowdedplace;andwithmyveildownIhavelessfearofcompromisingmyselftherethanatmyquietlodgings。Besides，itisvitallyimportanttometoknowwhatArmadaledoesnext，underthistotalchangeofcircumstances——forImustsocontrolhisproceedingsastogethimawayfromEnglandifIcan。Wetookacab:suchwasmyeagernesstosympathizewiththeheart-brokenlover，thatwetookacab！
“AnythingsoridiculousasArmadale’sbehaviorunderthedoubleshockofdiscoveringthathisyoungladyhasbeentakenawayfromhim，andthatIamtobemarriedtoMidwinter，Ineverbeforewitnessedinallmyexperience。Tosaythathewaslikeachildisalibelonallchildrenwhoarenotbornidiots。Hecongratulatedmeonmycomingmarriage，andexecratedtheunknownwretchwhohadwrittentheanonymousletter，littlethinkingthathewasspeakingofoneandthesamepersoninoneandthesamebreath。NowhesubmissivelyacknowledgedthatMajorMilroyhadhisrightsasafather，andnowhereviledthemajorashavingnofeelingforanythingbuthismechanicsandhisclock。Atonemomenthestartedup，withthetearsinhiseyes，anddeclaredthathis’darlingNeelie’wasanangelonearth。Atanotherhesatdownsulkily，andthoughtthatagirlofherspiritmighthaverunawayonthespotandjoinedhiminLondon。Afteragoodhalf-hourofthisabsurdexhibition，Isucceededinquietinghim;
andthenafewwordsoftenderinquiryproducedwhatIhadexpresslycometothehoteltosee——MissMilroy’sletter。
“Itwasoutrageouslylong，andrambling，andconfused;inshort，theletterofafool。Ihadtowadethroughplentyofvulgarsentimentandlamentation，andtolosetimeandpatienceovermaudlinoutburstsofaffection，andnauseouskissesinclosedincirclesofink。However，IcontrivedtoextracttheinformationI
wantedatlast;andhereitis:
“Themajor，onreceiptofmyanonymouswarning，appearstohavesentatonceforhisdaughter，andtohaveshownhertheletter。
’YouknowwhatahardlifeIleadwithyourmother;don’tmakeitharderstill，Neelie，bydeceivingme。’Thatwasallthepooroldgentlemansaid。Ialwaysdidlikethemajor;and，thoughhewasafraidtoshowit，Iknowhealwayslikedme。Hisappealtohisdaughterif_her_accountofitistobebelievedcuthertotheheart。Sheburstoutcryingletheraloneforcryingattherightmoment！andconfessedeverything。
“Aftergivinghertimetorecoverherselfifhehadgivenheragoodboxontheearsitwouldhavebeenmoretothepurpose！，themajorseemstohaveputcertainquestions，andtohavebecomeconvincedasIwasconvincedmyselfthathisdaughter’sheart，orfancy，orwhatevershecallsit，wasreallyandtrulysetonArmadale。Thediscoveryevidentlydistressedaswellassurprisedhim。Heappearstohavehesitated，andtohavemaintainedhisownunfavorableopinionofMissNeelie’sloverforsomelittletime。
Buthisdaughter’stearsandentreatiessoliketheweaknessofthedearoldgentleman！shookhimatlast。Thoughhefirmlyrefusedtoallowofanymarriageengagementatpresent，heconsentedtooverlooktheclandestinemeetingsinthepark，andtoputArmadale’sfitnesstobecomehisson-in-lawtothetest，oncertainconditions。
“Theseconditionsare，thatforthenextsixmonthstocomeallcommunicationistobebrokenoff，bothpersonallyandbywriting，betweenArmadaleandMissMilroy。Thatspaceoftimeistobeoccupiedbytheyounggentlemanashehimselfthinksbest，andbytheyoungladyincompletinghereducationatschool。If，whenthesixmonthshavepassed，theyarebothstillofthesamemind，andifArmadale’sconductintheintervalhasbeensuchastoimprovethemajor’sopinionofhim，hewillbeallowedtopresenthimselfinthecharacterofMissMilroy’ssuitor，and，insixmonthsmore，ifallgoeswell，themarriagemaytakeplace。
“IdeclareIcouldkissthedearoldmajor，ifIwasonlywithinreachofhim！IfIhadbeenathiselbow，andhaddictatedtheconditionsmyself，Icouldhaveaskedfornothingbetterthanthis。SixmonthsoftotalseparationbetweenArmadaleandMissMilroy！Inhalfthattime——withallcommunicationcutoffbetweenthetwo——itmustgohardwithme，indeed，ifIdon’tfindmyselfdressedinthenecessarymourning，andpubliclyrecognizedasArmadale’swidow。
“ButIamforgettingthegirl’sletter。Shegivesherfather’sreasonsformakinghisconditions，inherfather’sownwords。Themajorseemstohavespokensosensiblyandsofeelinglythathelefthisdaughternodecentalternative——andheleavesArmadalenodecentalternative——buttosubmit。AswellasIcanremember，heseemstohaveexpressedhimselftoMissNeelieinthese，ornearlyintheseterms:
“’Don’tthinkIambehavingcruellytoyou，mydear:IammerelyaskingyoutoputMr。Armadaletotheproof。Itisnotonlyright，itisabsolutelynecessary，thatyoushouldholdnocommunicationwithhimforsometimetocome;andIwillshowyouwhy。Inthefirstplace，ifyougotoschool，thenecessaryrulesinsuchplaces——necessaryforthesakeoftheothergirls——wouldnotpermityoutoseeMr。Armadaleortoreceivelettersfromhim;and，ifyouaretobecomemistressofThorpeAmbrose，toschoolyoumustgo，foryouwouldbeashamed，andIshouldbeashamed，ifyouoccupiedthepositionofaladyofstationwithouthavingtheaccomplishmentswhichallladiesofstationareexpectedtopossess。Inthesecondplace，IwanttoseewhetherMr。Armadalewillcontinuetothinkofyouashethinksnow，withoutbeingencouragedinhisattachmentbyseeingyou，orremindedofitbyhearingfromyou。IfIamwronginthinkinghimflightyandunreliable，andifyouropinionofhimistherightone，thisisnotputtingtheyoungmantoanunfairtest——truelovesurvivesmuchlongerseparationsthanaseparationofsixmonths。Andwhenthattimeisover，andwellover;andwhenI
havehadhimundermyowneyeforanothersixmonths，andhavelearnedtothinkashighlyofhimasyoudo——eventhen，mydear，afterallthatterribledelay，youwillstillbeamarriedwomanbeforeyouareeighteen。Thinkofthis，Neelie，andshowthatyoulovemeandtrustme，byacceptingmyproposal。IwillholdnocommunicationwithMr。Armadalemyself。Iwillleaveittoyoutowriteandtellhimwhathasbeendecidedon。Hemaywritebackoneletter，andoneonly，toacquaintyouwithhisdecision。
Afterthat，forthesakeofyourreputation，nothingmoreistobesaid，andnothingmoreistobedone，andthematteristobekeptstrictlyprivateuntilthesixmonths’intervalisatanend。’
“Tothiseffectthemajorspoke。Hisbehaviortothatlittleslutofagirlhasproducedastrongerimpressiononmethananythingelseintheletter。Ithassetmethinkingme，ofallthepeopleintheworld！ofwhattheycall’amoraldifficulty。’Weareperpetuallytoldthattherecanbenopossibleconnectionbetweenvirtueandvice。Cantherenot？HereisMajorMilroydoingexactlywhatanexcellentfather，atoncekindandprudent，affectionateandfirm，woulddounderthecircumstances;andbythatverycourseofconducthehasnowsmoothedthewayfor_me，_
ascompletelyasifhehadbeenthechosenaccompliceofthatabominablecreature，MissGwilt。Onlythinkofmyreasoninginthisway！ButIaminsuchgoodspirits，Icandoanythingto-day。IhavenotlookedsobrightandsoyoungasIlooknowformonthspast！
“Toreturntotheletter，forthelasttime——itissoexcessivelydullandstupidthatIreallycan’thelpwanderingawayfromitintoreflectionsofmyown，asamererelief。
“Aftersolemnlyannouncingthatshemeanttosacrificeherselftoherbelovedfather’swishesthebrazenassuranceofhersettingupforamartyrafterwhathashappenedexceedsanythingIeverheardorreadof！，MissNeelienextmentionedthatthemajorproposedtakinghertotheseasideforchangeofair，duringthefewdaysthatwerestilltoelapsebeforeshewenttoschool。
Armadalewastosendhisanswerbyreturnofpost，andtoaddressher，undercovertoherfather，atLowestoft。Withthis，andwithalastoutburstoftenderprotestation，crammedcrookedlyintoacornerofthepage，theletterended。N。B——Themajor’sobjectintakinghertotheseasideisplainenough。HestillprivatelydistrustsArmadale，andheiswiselydeterminedtopreventanymoreclandestinemeetingsintheparkbeforethegirlissafelydisposedofatschool。
“WhenIhaddonewiththeletter——IhadrequestedpermissiontoreadpartsofitwhichIparticularlyadmired，forthesecondandthirdtime！——weallconsultedtogetherinafriendlywayaboutwhatArmadalewastodo。
“Hewasfoolenough，attheoutset，toprotestagainstsubmittingtoMajorMilroy’sconditions。Hedeclared，withhisodiousredfacelookingthepictureofbrutehealth，thatheshouldneversurviveasixmonths’separationfromhisbelovedNeelie。
Midwinterasmayeasilybeimaginedseemedalittleashamedofhim，andjoinedmeinbringinghimtohissenses。Weshowedhim，whatwouldhavebeenplainenoughtoanybodybutabooby，thattherewasnohonorableorevendecentalternativeleftbuttofollowtheexampleofsubmissionsetbytheyounglady。’Wait，andyouwillhaveherforyourwife，’waswhatIsaid。’Wait，andyouwillforcethemajortoalterhisunjustopinionofyou，’waswhatMidwinteradded。Withtwocleverpeoplehammeringcommonsenseintohisheadatthatrate，itisneedlesstosaythathisheadgaveway，andhesubmitted。
“Havingdecidedhimtoacceptthemajor’sconditionsIwascarefultowarnhim，beforehewrotetoMissMilroy，thatmyengagementtoMidwinterwastobekeptasstrictlysecretfromherasfromeverybodyelse，thenextquestionwehadtosettlerelatedtohisfutureproceedings。Iwasreadywiththenecessaryargumentstostophim，ifhehadproposedreturningtoThorpeAmbrose。Butheproposednothingofthesort。Onthecontrary，hedeclared，ofhisownaccord，thatnothingwouldinducehimtogoback。Theplaceandthepeoplewereassociatedwitheverythingthatwashatefultohim。TherewouldbenoMissMilroynowtomeethiminthepark，andnoMidwintertokeephimcompanyinthesolitaryhouse。’I’dratherbreakstonesontheroad，’wasthesensibleandcheerfulwayinwhichheputit，’thangobacktoThorpeAmbrose。’
“ThefirstsuggestionafterthiscamefromMidwinter。TheslyoldclergymanwhogaveMrs。Oldershawandmesomuchtroublehas，itseems，beenill，buthasbeenlatterlyreportedbetter。’WhynotgotoSomersetshire，’saidMidwinter，’andseeyourgoodfriend，andmygoodfriend，Mr。Brock？’
“Armadalecaughtattheproposalreadilyenough。Helonged，inthefirstplace，tosee’dearoldBrock，’andhelonged，inthesecondplace，toseehisyacht。AfterstayingafewdaysmoreinLondonwithMidwinter，hewouldgladlygotoSomersetshire。Butwhatafterthat？
“Seeingmyopportunity，_I_cametotherescuethistime。’Youhavegotayacht，Mr。Armadale，’Isaid;’andyouknowthatMidwinterisgoingtoItaly。WhenyouaretiredofSomersetshire，whynotmakeavoyagetotheMediterranean，andmeetyourfriend，andyourfriend’swife，atNaples？’
“Imadetheallusionto’hisfriend’swife’withthemostbecomingmodestyandconfusion。Armadalewasenchanted。Ihadhitonthebestofallwaysofoccupyingthewearytime。Hestartedup，andwrungmyhandinquiteanecstasyofgratitude。HowIdohatepeoplewhocanonlyexpresstheirfeelingsbyhurtingotherpeople’shands！
“MidwinterwasaspleasedwithmyproposalasArmadale;buthesawdifficultiesinthewayofcarryingitout。HeconsideredtheyachttoosmallforacruisetotheMediterranean，andhethoughtitdesirabletohirealargervessel。Hisfriendthoughtotherwise。Ileftthemarguingthequestion。Itwasquiteenoughformetohavemadesure，inthefirstplace，thatArmadalewillnotreturntoThorpeAmbrose;andtohavedecidedhim，inthesecondplace，ongoingabroad。Hemaygohowhelikes。Ishouldpreferthesmallyachtmyself;forthereseemstobeachancethatthesmallyachtmightdometheinestimableserviceofdrowninghim……
“Fiveo’clock——TheexcitementoffeelingthatIhadgotArmadale’sfuturemovementscompletelyundermyowncontrolmademesorestless，whenIreturnedtomylodgings，thatIwasobligedtogooutagain，anddosomething。AnewinteresttooccupymebeingwhatIwanted，IwenttoPimlicotohaveitoutwithMotherOldershaw。
“Iwalked;andmadeupmymind，ontheway，thatIwouldbeginbyquarrelingwithher。
“Oneofmynotesofhandbeingpaidalready，andMidwinterbeingwillingtopaytheothertwowhentheyfalldue，mypresentpositionwiththeoldwretchisasindependentaoneasIcoulddesire。Ialwaysgetthebetterofherwhenitcomestoadownrightbattlebetweenus，andfindherwonderfullycivilandobligingthemomentIhavemadeherfeelthatmineisthestrongestwillofthetwo。Inmypresentsituation，shemightbeofusetomeinvariousways，ifIcouldsecureherassistance，withouttrustingherwithsecretswhichIamnowmorethaneverdeterminedtokeeptomyself。ThatwasmyideaasIwalkedtoPimlico。UpsettingMotherOldershaw’snerves，inthefirstplace，andthentwistingherroundmylittlefinger，inthesecond，promisedme，asIthought，aninterestingoccupationfortherestoftheafternoon。
“WhenIgottoPimlico，asurprisewasinstoreforwe。Thehousewasshutup——notonlyonMrs。Oldershaw’sside，butonDoctorDownward’saswell。Apadlockwasontheshopdoor;andamanwashangingaboutonthewatch，whomighthavebeenanordinaryidlercertainly，butwholooked，tomymind，likeapolicemanindisguise。
“Knowingtherisksthedoctorrunsinhisparticularformofpractice，Isuspectedatoncethatsomethingserioushadhappened，andthatevencunningMrs。Oldershawwascompromisedthistime。Withoutstopping，ormakinganyinquiry，therefore，I
calledthefirstcabthatpassedme，anddrovetothepost-officetowhichIhaddesiredmyletterstobeforwardedifanycameformeafterIleftmyThorpeAmbroselodging。
“Oninquiryaletterwasproducedfor’MissGwilt。’ItwasinMotherOldershaw’shandwriting，andittoldmeasIhadsupposedthatthedoctorhadgotintoaseriousdifficulty——thatshewasherselfmostunfortunatelymixedupinthematter，andthattheywerebothinhidingforthepresent。TheletterendedwithsomesufficientlyvenomoussentencesaboutmyconductatThorpeAmbrose，andwithawarningthatIhavenotheardthelastofMrs。Oldershawyet。Itrelievedmetofindherwritinginthisway——forshewouldhavebeencivilandcringingifshehadhadanysuspicionofwhatIhavereallygotinview。Iburnedtheletterassoonasthecandlescameup。Andthere，forthepresent，isanendoftheconnectionbetweenMotherJezebelandme。Imustdoallmyowndirtyworknow;andIshallbeallthesafer，perhaps，fortrustingnobody’shandstodoitbutmyown。
“July31st——Moreusefulinformationforme。ImetMidwinteragainintheParkonthepretextthatmyreputationmightsufferifhecalledtoooftenatmylodgings，andheardthelastnewsofArmadalesinceIleftthehotelyesterday。
“AfterhehadwrittentoMissMilroy，Midwintertooktheopportunityofspeakingtohimaboutthenecessarybusinessarrangementsduringhisabsencefromthegreathouse。Itwasdecidedthattheservantsshouldbeputonboardwages，andthatMr。Bashwoodshouldbeleftincharge。Somehow，Idon’tlikethisre-appearanceofMr。Bashwoodinconnectionwithmypresentinterests，butthereisnohelpforit。Thenextquestion——thequestionofmoney——wassettledatoncebyMr。Armadalehimself。
Allhisavailableready-moneyalargesumistobelodgedbyMr。BashwoodinCoutts’sBank，andtobetheredepositedinArmadale’sname。This，hesaid，wouldsavehimtheworryofanyfurtherletter-writingtohissteward，andwouldenablehimtogetwhathewanted，whenhewentabroad，atamoment’snotice。
Theplanthusproposed，beingcertainlythesimplestandthesafest，wasadoptedwithMidwinter’sfullconcurrence;andherethebusinessdiscussionwouldhaveended，iftheeverlastingMr。
Bashwoodhadnotturnedupagainintheconversation，andprolongeditinanentirelynewdirection。
“Onreflection，itseemstohavestruckMidwinterthatthewholeresponsibilityatThorpeAmbroseoughtnottorestonMr。
Bashwood’sshoulders。Withoutintheleastdistrustinghim，Midwinterfelt，nevertheless，thatheoughttohavesomebodysetoverhim，toapplytoincaseofemergency。Armadalemadenoobjectiontothis;heonlyasked，inhishelplessway，whothepersonwastobe？
“Theanswerwasnotaneasyonetoarriveat。
“EitherofthetwosolicitorsatThorpeAmbrosemighthavebeenemployed，butArmadalewasonbadtermswithbothofthem。Anyreconciliationwithsuchabitterenemyastheelderlawyer，Mr。
Darch，wasoutofthequestion;andreinstatingMr。PedgiftinhisformerpositionimpliedatacitsanctiononArmadale’spartofthelawyer’sabominableconducttoward_me，_whichwasscarcelyconsistentwiththerespectandregardthathefeltforaladywhowassoontobehisfriend’swife。Aftersomefurtherdiscussion，Midwinterhitonanewsuggestionwhichappearedtomeetthedifficulty。HeproposedthatArmadaleshouldwritetoarespectablesolicitoratNorwich，statinghispositioningeneralterms，andrequestingthatgentlemantoactasMr。Bashwood’sadviserandsuperintendentwhenoccasionrequired。NorwichbeingwithinaneasyrailwayrideofThorpeAmbrose，Armadalesawnoobjectiontotheproposal，andpromisedtowritetotheNorwichlawyer。Fearingthathemightmakesomemistakeifhewrotewithoutassistance，Midwinterhaddrawnhimoutadraftofthenecessaryletter，andArmadalewasnowengagedincopyingthedraft，andalsoinwritingtoMr。BashwoodtolodgethemoneyimmediatelyinCoutts’sBank。
“ThesedetailsaresodryanduninterestinginthemselvesthatI
hesitatedatfirstaboutputtingthemdowninmydiary。Butalittlereflectionhasconvincedmethattheyaretooimportanttobepassedover。Lookedatfrommypointofview，theymeanthis——thatArmadale’sownactisnowcuttinghimofffromallcommunicationwithThorpeAmbrose，evenbyletter。_Heisasgoodasdeadalreadytoeverybodyheleavesbehindhim。_ThecauseswhichhaveledtosucharesultasthatarecauseswhichcertainlyclaimthebestplaceIcangivetheminthesepages。
“August1st——Nothingtorecord，butthatIhavehadalong，quiet，happydaywithMidwinter。Hehiredacarriage，andwedrovetoRichmond，anddinedthere。Afterto-day’sexperience，itisimpossibletodeceivemyselfanylonger。Comewhatmayofit，Ilovehim。
“Ihavefallenintolowspiritssinceheleftme。ApersuasionhastakenpossessionofmymindthatthesmoothandprosperouscourseofmyaffairssinceIhavebeeninLondonistoosmoothandprosperoustolast。Thereissomethingoppressingmeto-night，whichismorethantheoppressionoftheheavyLondonair。
“August2d——Threeo’clock——Mypresentiments，likeotherpeople’s，havedeceivedmeoftenenough;butIamalmostafraidthatmypresentimentoflastnightwasreallyprophetic，foronceinaway。
“Iwentafterbreakfasttoamilliner’sinthisneighborhoodtoorderafewcheapsummerthings，andthencetoMidwinter’shoteltoarrangewithhimforanotherdayinthecountry。Idrovetothemilliner’sandtothehotel，andpartofthewayback。Then，feelingdisgustedwiththehorridclosesmellofthecabsomebodyhadbeensmokinginit，Isuppose，Igotouttowalktherestoftheway。BeforeIhadbeentwominutesonmyfeet，I
discoveredthatIwasbeingfollowedbyastrangeman。
“Thismaymeannothingbutthatanidlefellowhasbeenstruckbymyfigure，andmyappearancegenerally。Myfacecouldhavemadenoimpressiononhim，foritwashiddenasusualbymyveil。
Whetherhefollowedmeinacab，ofcoursefromthemilliner’s，orfromthehotel，Icannotsay。NoramIquitecertainwhetherhedidordidnottrackmetothisdoor。IonlyknowthatIlostsightofhimbeforeIgotback。Thereisnohelpforitbuttowaittilleventsenlightenme。Ifthereisanythingseriousinwhathashappened，Ishallsoondiscoverit。
“Fiveo’clock——It_is_serious。Tenminutessince，Iwasinmybedroom，whichcommunicateswiththesitting-room。Iwasjustcomingout，whenIheardastrangevoiceonthelandingoutside——awoman’svoice。Thenextinstantthesitting-roomdoorwassuddenlyopened;thewoman’svoicesaid，’Arethesetheapartmentsyouhavegottolet？’andthoughthelandlady，behindher，answered，’No！higherup，ma’am，’thewomancameonstraighttomybedroom，asifshehadnotheard。I
hadjusttimetoslamthedoorinherfacebeforeshesawme。Thenecessaryexplanationsandapologiesfollowedbetweenthelandladyandthestrangerinthesitting-room，andthenIwasleftaloneagain。
“Ihavenotimetowritemore。Itisplainthatsomebodyhasaninterestintryingtoidentifyme，andthat，butformyownquickness，thestrangewomanwouldhaveaccomplishedthisobjectbytakingmebysurprise。Sheandthemanwhofollowedmeinthestreetare，Isuspect，inleaguetogether;andthereisprobablysomebodyinthebackgroundwhoseintereststheyareserving。IsMotherOldershawattackingmeinthedark？orwhoelsecanitbe？
Nomatterwhoitis;mypresentsituationistoocriticaltobetrifledwith。Imustgetawayfromthishouseto-night，andleavenotracebehindmebywhichIcanbefollowedtoanotherplace。
“August3d——GaryStreet，TottenhamCourtRoad——IgotawaylastnightafterwritinganexcusetoMidwinter，inwhich’myinvalidmother’figuredastheall-sufficientcauseofmydisappearance;
andIhavefoundrefugehere。Ithascostmesomemoney;butmyobjectisattained！NobodycanpossiblyhavetracedmefromAllSaints’Terracetothisaddress。
“Afterpayingmylandladythenecessaryforfeitforleavingherwithoutnotice，Iarrangedwithhersonthatheshouldtakemyboxesinacabtothecloak-roomatthenearestrailwaystation，andsendmetheticketinaletter，towaitmyapplicationforitatthepost-office。Whilehewenthiswayinonecab，Iwentmineinanother，withafewthingsforthenightinmylittlehand-bag。
“Idrovestraighttothemilliner’sshop，whichIhadobserved，whenIwasthereyesterday，hadabackentranceintoamews，fortheapprenticestogoinandoutby。Iwentinatonce，leavingthecabwaitingformeatthedoor。’Amanisfollowingme，’I
said，’andIwanttogetridofhim。Hereismycabfare;waittenminutesbeforeyougiveittothedriver，andletmeoutatoncebythebackway！’InamomentIwasoutinthemews;inanother，Iwasinthenextstreet;inathird，Ihailedapassingomnibus，andwasafreewomanagain。
“Havingnowcutoffallcommunicationbetweenmeandmylastlodgings，thenextprecautionincaseMidwinterorArmadalearewatchedistocutoffallcommunication，forsomedaystocomeatleast，betweenmeandthehotel。IhavewrittentoMidwinter——makingmysupposititiousmotheroncemoretheexcuse——tosaythatIamtiedtomynursingduties，andthatwemustcommunicatebywritingonlyforthepresent。DoubtfulasI
stillamofwhomyhiddenenemyreallyis，IcandonomoretodefendmyselfthanIhavedonenow。
“August4th——Thetwofriendsatthehotelhadbothwrittentome。Midwinterexpresseshisregretatourseparation，inthetenderestterms。Armadalewritesanentreatyforhelpunderveryawkwardcircumstances。AletterfromMajorMilroyhasbeenforwardedtohimfromthegreathouse，andheinclosesitinhislettertome。
“Havinglefttheseaside，andplacedhisdaughtersafelyattheschooloriginallychosenforherintheneighborhoodofEly，themajorappearstohavereturnedtoThorpeAmbroseatthecloseoflastweek;tohaveheardthen，forthefirsttime，thereportsaboutArmadaleandme;andtohavewritteninstantlytoArmadaletotellhimso。
“Theletterissternandshort。MajorMilroydismissesthereportasunworthyofcredit，becauseitisimpossibleforhimtobelieveinsuchanactof’cold-bloodedtreachery，’asthescandalwouldimply，ifthescandalweretrue。HesimplywritestowarnArmadalethat，ifheisnotmorecarefulinhisactionsforthefuture，hemustresignallpretensionstoMissMilroy’shand。’Ineitherexpect，norwishfor，ananswertothis’theletterends，’forIdesiretoreceivenomereprotestationsinwords。Byyourconduct，andbyyourconductalone，Ishalljudgeyouastimegoeson。LetmealsoaddthatIpositivelyforbidyoutoconsiderthisletterasanexcuseforviolatingthetermsagreedonbetweenus，bywritingagaintomydaughter。Youhavenoneedtojustifyyourselfinhereyes，forIfortunatelyremovedherfromThorpeAmbrosebeforethisabominablereporthadtimetoreachher;andIshalltakegoodcare，forhersake，thatsheisnotagitatedandunsettledbyhearingitwheresheisnow。’
“Armadale’spetitiontome，underthesecircumstances，entreatsasIamtheinnocentcauseofthenewattackonhischaracter
thatIwillwritetothemajortoabsolvehimofallindiscretioninthematter，andtosaythathecouldnot，incommonpoliteness，dootherwisethanaccompanymetoLondon。
“Iforgivetheimpudenceofhisrequest，inconsiderationofthenewsthathesendsme。ItiscertainlyanothercircumstanceinmyfavorthatthescandalatThorpeAmbroseisnottobeallowedtoreachMissMilroy’sears。Withhertemperifshedidhearit
shemightdosomethingdesperateinthewayofclaimingherlover，andmightcompromisemeseriously。AsformyowncoursewithArmadale，itiseasyenough。IshallquiethimbypromisingtowritetoMajorMilroy;andIshalltaketheliberty，inmyownprivateinterests，ofnotkeepingmyword。
“Nothingintheleastsuspicioushashappenedto-day。Whoevermyenemiesare，theyhavelostme，andbetweenthisandthetimewhenIleaveEnglandtheyshallnotfindmeagain。Ihavebeentothepost-office，andhavegottheticketformyluggage，inclosedtomeinaletterfromAllSaints’Terrace，asIdirected。TheluggageitselfIshallstillleaveatthecloak-room，untilIseethewaybeforememoreclearlythanIseeitnow。
“August5th——Twolettersagainfromthehotel。Midwinterwritestoremindme，intheprettiestpossiblemanner，thathewillhavelivedlongenoughintheparishbyto-morrowtobeabletogetourmarriage-license，andthatheproposesapplyingforitintheusualwayatDoctors’Commons。Now，ifIamevertosayit，isthetimetosayNo。Ican’tsayNo。Thereistheplaintruth——andthereisanendofit！
“Armadale’sletterisaletteroffarewell。Hethanksmeformykindnessinconsentingtowritetothemajor，andbidsmegood-by，tillwemeetagainatNaples。Hehaslearnedfromhisfriendthatthereareprivatereasonswhichwillobligehimtoforbidhimselfthepleasureofbeingpresentatourmarriage。
Underthesecircumstances，thereisnothingtokeephiminLondon。Hehasmadeallhisbusinessarrangements;hegoestoSomersetshirebyto-night’strain;and，afterstayingsometimewithMr。Brock，hewillsailfortheMediterraneanfromtheBristolChannelinspiteofMidwinter’sobjectionsinhisownyacht。
“Theletterinclosesajeweler’sbox，witharinginit——Armadale’spresenttomeonmymarriage。Itisaruby——butratherasmallone，andsetintheworstpossibletaste。HewouldhavegivenMissMilroyaringworthtentimesthemoney，ifithadbeen_her_marriagepresent。Thereisnomorehatefulcreature，inmyopinion，thanamiserlyyoungman。Iwonderwhetherhistrumperylittleyachtwilldrownhim？
“Iamsoexcitedandfluttered，IhardlyknowwhatIamwriting。
NotthatIshrinkfromwhatiscoming——IonlyfeelasifIwasbeinghurriedonfasterthanIquiteliketogo。Atthisrate，ifnothinghappens，Midwinterwillhavemarriedmebytheendoftheweek。Andthen——！
“August6th——Ifanythingcouldstartlemenow，Ishouldfeelstartledbythenewsthathasreachedmeto-day。
“Onhisreturntothehotelthismorning，aftergettingthemarriage-license，Midwinterfoundatelegramwaitingforhim。ItcontainedanurgentmessagefromArmadale，announcingthatMr。
Brockhadhadarelapse，andthatallhopeofhisrecoverywaspronouncedbythedoctorstobeatanend。Bythedyingman’sowndesire，Midwinterwassummonedtotakeleaveofhim，andwasentreatedbyArmadalenottoloseamomentinstartingfortherectorybythefirsttrain。
“Thehurriedletterwhichtellsmethistellsmealsothat，bythetimeIreceiveit，MidwinterwillbeonhiswaytotheWest。
Hepromisestowriteatgreaterlength，afterhehasseenMr。
Brock，byto-night’spost。
“Thisnewshasaninterestforme，whichMidwinterlittlesuspects。Thereisbutonehumancreature，besidesmyself，whoknowsthesecretofhisbirthandhisname;andthatoneistheoldmanwhonowlieswaitingforhimatthepointofdeath。Whatwilltheysaytoeachotheratthelastmoment？WillsomechancewordtakethembacktothetimewhenIwasinMrs。Armadale’sserviceatMadeira？WilltheyspeakofMe？
“August7th——Thepromisedletterhasjustreachedme。Nopartingwordshavebeenexchangedbetweenthem:itwasalloverbeforeMidwinterreachedSomersetshire。ArmadalemethimattherectorygatewiththenewsthatMr。Brockwasdead。
“Itrytostruggleagainstit，but，comingafterthestrangecomplicationofcircumstancesthathasbeenclosingroundmeforweekspast，thereissomethinginthislatesteventofallthatshakesmynerves。ButonelastchanceofdetectionstoodinmywaywhenIopenedmydiaryyesterday。WhenIopenitto-day，thatchanceisremovedbyMr。Brock’sdeath。Itmeanssomething;I
wishIknewwhat。
“ThefuneralistobeonSaturdaymorning。MidwinterwillattenditaswellasArmadale。ButheproposesreturningtoLondonfirst;andhewriteswordthathewillcallto-night，inthehopeofseeingme，onhiswayfromthestationtothehotel。Eveniftherewasanyriskinit，Ishouldseehim，asthingsarenow。
Butthereisnoriskifhecomesherefromthestationinsteadofcomingfromthehotel。
“Fiveo’clock——Iwasnotmistakeninbelievingthatmynerveswereallunstrung。Triflesthatwouldnothavecostmeasecondthoughtatothertimesweighheavilyonmymindnow。
“Twohourssince，indespairofknowinghowtogetthroughtheday，Ibethoughtmyselfofthemillinerwhoismakingmysummerdress。Ihadintendedtogoandtryitonyesterday;butitslippedoutofmymemoryintheexcitementofhearingaboutMr。
Brock。SoIwentthisafternoon，eagertodoanythingthatmighthelpmetogetridofmyself。Ihavereturned，feelingmoreuneasyandmoredepressedthanIfeltwhenIwentout;forIhavecomebackfearingthatImayyethavereasontorepentnothavingleftmyunfinisheddressonthemilliner’shands。
“Nothinghappenedtome，thistime，inthestreet。Itwasonlyinthetrying-onroomthatmysuspicionswereroused;andthereitcertainlydidcrossmymindthattheattempttodiscoverme，whichIdefeatedatAllSaints’Terrace，wasnotgivenupyet，andthatsomeoftheshop-womenhadbeentamperedwith，ifnotthemistressherself。
“CanIgivemyselfanythingintheshapeofareasonforthisimpression？Letmethinkalittle。
“Icertainlynoticedtwothingswhichwereoutoftheordinaryroutine，underthecircumstances。Inthefirstplace，thereweretwiceasmanywomenaswereneededinthetrying-onroom。Thislookedsuspicious;andyetImighthaveaccountedforitinmorewaysthanone。Isitnottheslacktimenow？anddon’tIknowbyexperiencethatIamthesortofwomanaboutwhomotherwomenarealwaysspitefullycurious？Ithoughtagain，inthesecondplace，thatoneoftheassistantspersistedratheroddlyinkeepingmeturnedinaparticulardirection，withmyfacetowardtheglazedandcurtaineddoorthatledintothework-room。But，afterall，shegaveareasonwhenIaskedforit。Shesaidthelightfellbetteronmethatway;and，whenIlookedround，therewasthewindowtoproveherright。Still，thesetriflesproducedsuchaneffectonme，atthetime，thatIpurposelyfoundfaultwiththedress，soastohaveanexcusefortryingitonagain，beforeI
toldthemwhereIlived，andhaditsenthome。Purefancy，Idaresay。Purefancy，perhaps，atthepresentmoment。Idon’tcare;I
shallactoninstinctastheysay，andgiveupthedress。Inplainerwordsstill，Iwon’tgoback。
“Midnight——Midwintercametoseemeashepromised。Anhourhaspassedsincewesaidgood-night;andhereIstillsit，withmypeninmyhand，thinkingofhim。Nowordsofminecandescribewhathaspassedbetweenus。TheendofitisallIcanwriteinthesepages;andtheendofitisthathehasshakenmyresolution。ForthefirsttimesinceIsawtheeasywaytoArmadale’slifeatThorpeAmbrose，IfeelasifthemanwhomI
havedoomedinmyownthoughtshadachanceofescapingme。
“IsitmyloveforMidwinterthathasalteredme？Orisit_his_
lovefor_me_thathastakenpossessionnotonlyofallIwishtogivehim，butofallIwishtokeepfromhimaswell？IfeelasifIhadlostmyself——lostmyself，Imean，in_him_——allthroughtheevening。HewasingreatagitationaboutwhathadhappenedinSomersetshire;andhemademefeelasdisheartenedandaswretchedaboutitashedid。Thoughheneverconfesseditinwords，IknowthatMr。Brock’sdeathhasstartledhimasanillomenforourmarriage——Iknowit，becauseIfeelMr。Brock’sdeathasanillomentoo。Thesuperstition——_his_
superstition——tooksostrongaholdonme，thatwhenwegrewcalmerandhespokeoftimefuture——whenhetoldmethathemusteitherbreakhisengagementwithhisnewemployersorgoabroad，asheispledgedtogo，onMondaynext——IactuallyshrankatthethoughtofourmarriagefollowingcloseonMr。Brock’sfuneral;I
actuallysaidtohim，intheimpulseofthemoment，’Go，andbeginyournewlifealone！go，andleavemeheretowaitforhappiertimes。’
“Hetookmeinhisarms。Hesighed，andkissedmewithanangelictenderness。Hesaid——oh，sosoftlyandsosadly！——Ihavenolifenow，apartfrom_you。_’Asthosewordspassedhislips，thethoughtseemedtoriseinmymindlikeanecho，’Whynotliveoutallthedaysthatarelefttome，happyandharmlessinalovelikethis！’Ican’texplainit——Ican’trealizeit。Thatwasthethoughtinmeatthetime;andthatisthethoughtinmestill。I
seemyownhandwhileIwritethewords——andIaskmyselfwhetheritisreallythehandofLydiaGwilt！
“Armadale——
“No！Iwillneverwrite，IwillneverthinkofArmadaleagain。
“Yes！Letmewriteoncemore——letmethinkoncemoreofhim，becauseitquietsmetoknowthatheisgoingaway，andthattheseawillhavepartedusbeforeIammarried。Hisoldhomeishometohimnolonger，nowthatthelossofhismotherhasbeenfollowedbythelossofhisbestandearliestfriend。Whenthefuneralisover，hehasdecidedtosailthesamedayfortheforeignseas。Wemay，orwemaynot，meetatNaples。ShallIbeanalteredwomanifwedo？Iwonder;Iwonder！
“August8th——AlinefromMidwinter。HehasgonebacktoSomersetshiretobeinreadinessforthefuneralto-morrow;andhewillreturnhereafterbiddingArmadalegood-byto-morrowevening。