“Toresume，forthereismoretotellyou。
“Mr。Armadaletohiscredit——Idon’tdenyit，thoughIdon’tlikehimstillsaidNo。HeappearedtobegettingirritatedunderMr。Pedgift’spersistence，andhespokeinasomewhathastyway。’Youpersuadedmeonthelastoccasionwhenwetalkedaboutthis，’hesaid，’todosomethingthatIhavebeensinceheartilyashamedof。Youwon’tsucceedinpersuadingme，Mr。Pedgift，asecondtime。’Thosewerehiswords。Mr。Pedgifttookhimupshort;Mr。Pedgiftseemedtobenettledonhisside。
“’Ifthatisthelightinwhichyouseemyadvice，sir，’hesaid，’thelessyouhaveofitforthefuture，thebetter。YourcharacterandpositionarepubliclyinvolvedinthismatterbetweenyourselfandMissGwilt;andyoupersist，atamostcriticalmoment，intakingacourseofyourown，whichIbelievewillendbadly。AfterwhatIhavealreadysaidanddoneinthisveryseriouscase，Ican’tconsenttogoonwithitwithbothmyhandstied，andIcan’tdropitwithcredittomyselfwhileI
remainpubliclyknownasyoursolicitor。Youleavemenoalternative，sir，buttoresignthehonorofactingasyourlegaladviser。’’Iamsorrytohearit，’saysMr。Armadale，’butIhavesufferedenoughalreadythroughinterferingwithMissGwilt。I
can’tandwon’tstiranyfurtherinthematter。’’_You_maynotstiranyfurtherinit，sir，’saysMr。Pedgift，’and_I_shallnotstiranyfurtherinit，forithasceasedtobeaquestionofprofessionalinteresttome。Butmarkmywords，Mr。Armadale，youarenotattheendofthisbusinessyet。Someotherperson’scuriositymaygoonfromthepointwhereyouandIhavestopped;andsomeotherperson’shandmayletthebroaddaylightinyetonMissGwilt。’
“Ireporttheirlanguage，dearmadam，almostwordforword，I
believe，asIheardit。Itproducedanindescribableimpressiononme;itfilledme，Ihardlyknowwhy，withquiteapanicofalarm。Idon’tatallunderstandit，andIunderstandstilllesswhathappenedimmediatelyafterward。
“Mr。Pedgift’svoice，whenhesaidthoselastwords，soundeddreadfullyclosetome。Hemusthavebeenspeakingattheopenwindow，andhemust，Ifear，haveseenmeunderit。Ihadtime，beforeheleftthehouse，togetoutquietlyfromamongthelaurels，butnottogetbacktotheoffice。AccordinglyIwalkedawayalongthedrivetowardthelodge，asifIwasgoingonsomeerrandconnectedwiththesteward’sbusiness。
“Beforelong，Mr。Pedgiftovertookmeinhisgig，andstopped。
’So_you_feelsomecuriosityaboutMissGwilt，doyou？’hesaid。
’Gratifyyourcuriositybyallmeans;_I_don’tobjecttoit。’I
feltnaturallynervous，butImanagedtoaskhimwhathemeant。
Hedidn’tanswer;heonlylookeddownatmefromthegiginaveryoddmanner，andlaughed。’Ihaveknownstrangerthingshappeneventhan_that！_’hesaidtohimselfsuddenly，anddroveoff。
“Ihaveventuredtotroubleyouwiththislastincident，thoughitmayseemofnoimportanceinyoureyes，inthehopethatyoursuperiorabilitymaybeabletoexplainit。Myownpoorfaculties，Iconfess，arequiteunabletopenetrateMr。Pedgift’smeaning。AllIknowisthathehasnorighttoaccusemeofanysuchimpertinentfeelingascuriosityinrelationtoaladywhomIardentlyesteemandadmire。Idarenotputitinwarmerwords。
“IhaveonlytoaddthatIaminapositiontobeofcontinuedservicetoyouhereifyouwishit。Mr。Armadalehasjustbeenintotheoffice，andhastoldmebrieflythat，inMr。Midwinter’scontinuedabsence，Iamstilltoactassteward’sdeputytillfurthernotice。
“Believeme，dearmadam，anxiouslyanddevotedlyyours，FELIX
BASHWOOD。”
4。_FromAllanArmadaletotheReverendDecimusBrock。_
ThorpeAmbrose，Tuesday。
“MYDEARMR。BROCK——Iaminsadtrouble。Midwinterhasquarreledwithmeandleftme;andmylawyerhasquarreledwithmeandleftme;andexceptdearlittleMissMilroy，whohasforgivenmealltheneighborshaveturnedtheirbacksonme。Thereisagooddealabout’me’inthis，butIcan’thelpit。Iamverymiserablealoneinmyownhouse。Dopraycomeandseeme！YouaretheonlyoldfriendIhaveleft，andIdolongsototellyouaboutit。
“N。B——Onmywordofhonorasagentleman，Iamnottoblame。
Yoursaffectionately，“ALLANARMADALE。
“P。S——Iwouldcometoyouforthisplaceisgrownquitehatefultome，butIhaveareasonfornotgoingtoofarawayfromMissMilroyjustatpresent。”
5。_FromRobertStapletontoAllanArmadale，Esq。_
“BascombeRectory，ThursdayMorning。
“RESPECTEDSIR——Iseealetterinyourwriting，onthetablealongwiththeothers，whichIamsorrytosaymymasterisnotwellenoughtoopen。Heisdownwithasortoflowfever。Thedoctorsaysithasbeenbroughtonwithworryandanxietywhichmasterwasnotstrongenoughtobear。Thisseemslikely;forI
waswithhimwhenhewenttoLondonlastmonth，andwhatwithhisownbusiness，andthebusinessoflookingafterthatpersonwhoafterwardgaveustheslip，hewasworriedandanxiousallthetime;andforthematterofthat，sowasI。
“Mymasterwastalkingofyouadayortwosince。Heseemedunwillingthatyoushouldknowofhisillness，unlesshegotworse。ButIthinkyououghttoknowofit。Atthesametimeheisnotworse;perhapsatriflebetter。Thedoctorsayshemustbekeptveryquiet，andnotagitatedonanyaccount。Sobepleasedtotakenonoticeofthis——Imeaninthewayofcomingtotherectory。Ihavethedoctor’sorderstosayitisnotneedful，anditwouldonlyupsetmymasterinthestateheisinnow。
“Iwillwriteagainifyouwishit。Pleaseacceptofmyduty，andbelievemetoremain，sir，yourhumbleservant，“ROBERTSTAPLETON。
“P。S——Theyachthasbeenriggedandrepainted，waitingyourorders。Shelooksbeautiful。”
6。_FromMrs。OldershawtoMissGwilt。_
“DianaStreet，July24th。
“MISSGWILT——Theposthourhaspassedforthreemorningsfollowing，andhasbroughtmenoanswertomyletter。Areyoupurposelybentoninsultingme？orhaveyouleftThorpeAmbrose？
Ineithercase，Iwon’tputupwithyourconductanylonger。Thelawshallbringyoutobook，ifIcan’t。
“YourfirstnoteofhandforthirtypoundsfallsdueonTuesdaynext，the29th。Ifyouhadbehavedwithcommonconsiderationtowardme，Iwouldhaveletyourenewitwithpleasure。Asthingsare，Ishallhavethenotepresented;and，ifitisnotpaid，I
shallinstructmymanofbusinesstotaketheusualcourse。
“Yours，MARIAOLDERSHAW。”
7。_FromMissGwilttoMrs。Oldershaw。_
“5ParadisePlace，ThorpeAmbrose，July25th。
MRS。OLDERSHAW——Thetimeofyourmanofbusinessbeing，nodoubt，ofsomevalue，Iwritealinetoassisthimwhenhetakestheusualcourse。Hewillfindmewaitingtobearrestedinthefirst-floorapartments，attheaboveaddress。Inmypresentsituation，andwithmypresentthoughts，thebestserviceyoucanpossiblyrendermeistolockmeup。
“L。G。”
8。_FromMrs。OldershawtoMissGwilt。_
“DianaStreet，July26th。
“MYDARLINGLYDIA——ThelongerIliveinthiswickedworldthemoreplainlyIseethatwomen’sowntempersaretheworstenemieswomenhavetocontendwith。Whatatrulyregretfulstyleofcorrespondencewehavefalleninto！Whatasadwantofself-restraint，mydear，onyoursideandonmine！
“Letme，astheoldestinyears，bethefirsttomaketheneedfulexcuses，thefirsttoblushformyownwantofself-control。Yourcruelneglect，Lydia，stungmeintowritingasIdid。Iamsosensitivetoilltreatment，whenitisinflictedonmebyapersonwhomIloveandadmire;and，thoughturnedsixty，Iamstillunfortunatelyformyselfsoyoungatheart。Acceptmyapologiesforhavingmadeuseofmypen，whenIoughttohavebeencontenttotakerefugeinmypocket-handkerchief。ForgiveyourattachedMariaforbeingstillyoungatheart！
“Butoh，mydear——thoughIownIthreatenedyou——howhardofyoutotakemeatmyword！Howcruelofyou，ifyourdebthadbeententimeswhatitis，tosupposemecapablewhateverImightsayoftheodiousinhumanityofarrestingmybosomfriend！
Heavens！haveIdeservedtobetakenatmywordinthisunmercifullyexactway，aftertheyearsoftenderintimacythathaveunitedus？ButIdon’tcomplain;Ionlymournoverthefrailtyofourcommonhumannature。Letusexpectaslittleofeachotheraspossible，mydear;wearebothwomen，andwecan’thelpit。Ideclare，whenIreflectontheoriginofourunfortunatesex——whenIrememberthatwewerealloriginallymadeofnobettermaterialthantheribofamanandthatribofsolittleimportancetoitspossessorthatheneverappearstohavemisseditafterward，Iamquiteastonishedatourvirtues，andnotintheleastsurprisedatourfaults。
“Iamwanderingalittle;Iamlosingmyselfinseriousthought，likethatsweetcharacterinShakespearewhowas’fancyfree。’
Onelastword，dearest，tosaythatmylongingforananswertothisproceedsentirelyfrommywishtohearfromyouagaininyouroldfriendlytone，andisquiteunconnectedwithanycuriositytoknowwhatyouaredoingatThorpeAmbrose——exceptsuchcuriosityasyouyourselfmightapprove。NeedIaddthatI
begyouasafavorto_me_torenew，onthecustomaryterms？I
refertothelittlebilldueonTuesdaynext，andIventuretosuggestthatdaysixweeks。
“Yours，withatrulymotherlyfeeling，“MARIAOLDERSHAW。”
9。_FromMissGwilttoMrs。Oldershaw。_
“ParadisePlace，July27th。
“IHAVEjustgotyourlastletter。Thebrazenimpudenceofithasrousedme。Iamtobetreatedlikeachild，amI？——tobethreatenedfirst，andthen，ifthreateningfails，tobecoaxedafterward？You_shall_coaxme;youshallknow，mymotherlyfriend，thesortofchildyouhavetodealwith。
“Ihadareason，Mrs。Oldershaw，forthesilencewhichhassoseriouslyoffendedyou。Iwasafraid——actuallyafraid——toletyouintothesecretofmythoughts。Nosuchfeartroublesmenow。
Myonlyanxietythismorningistomakeyoumybestacknowledgmentsforthemannerinwhichyouhavewrittentome。
Aftercarefullyconsideringit，IthinktheworstturnIcanpossiblydoyouistotellyouwhatyouareburningtoknow。SohereIamatmydesk，bentontellingit。Ifyoudon’tbitterlyrepent，whenyouareattheendofthisletter，nothavingheldtoyourfirstresolution，andlockedmeupoutofharm’swaywhileyouhadthechance，mynameisnotLydiaGwilt。
“Wheredidmylastletterend？Idon’tremember，anddon’tcare。
Makeitoutasyoucan——Iamnotgoingbackanyfurtherthanthisdayweek。Thatistosay，Sundaylast。
“Therewasathunder-storminthemorning。Itbegantoclearofftowardnoon。Ididn’tgoout:IwaitedtoseeMidwinterortohearfromhim。Areyousurprisedatmynotwriting’Mr。’beforehisname？Wehavegotsofamiliar，mydear，that’Mr。’wouldbequiteoutofplace。Hehadleftmetheeveningbefore，underveryinterestingcircumstances。IhadtoldhimthathisfriendArmadalewaspersecutingmebymeansofahiredspy。Hehaddeclinedtobelieveit，andhadgonestraighttoThorpeAmbrosetoclearthethingup。Ilethimkissmyhandbeforehewent。HepromisedtocomebackthenextdaytheSunday。IfeltIhadsecuredmyinfluenceoverhim;andIbelievedhewouldkeephisword。
“Well，thethunderpassedawayasItoldyou。Theweatherclearedup;thepeoplewalkedoutintheirbestclothes;thedinnerscameinfromthebakers;Isatdreamingatmywretchedlittlehiredpiano，nicelydressedandlookingmybest——andstillnoMidwinterappeared。Itwaslateintheafternoon，andIwasbeginningtofeeloffended，whenaletterwasbroughttome。Ithadbeenleftbyastrangemessengerwhowentawayagainimmediately。Ilookedattheletter。Midwinteratlast——inwriting，insteadofinperson。Ibegantofeelmoreoffendedthanever;for，asItoldyou，IthoughtIhadusedmyinfluenceoverhimtobetterpurpose。
“Theletter，whenIreadit，setmymindoffinanewdirection。
Itsurprised，itpuzzled，itinterestedme。Ithought，andthought，andthoughtofhim，alltherestoftheday。
“HebeganbyaskingmypardonforhavingdoubtedwhatItoldhim。
Mr。Armadale’sownlipshadconfirmedme。TheyhadquarreledasIhadanticipatedtheywould;andhe，andthemanwhohadoncebeenhisdearestfriendonearth，hadpartedforever。Sofar，I
wasnotsurprised。Iwasamusedbyhistellingmeinhisextravagantwaythatheandhisfriendwerepartedforever;andI
ratherwonderedwhathewouldthinkwhenIcarriedoutmyplan，andfoundmywayintothegreathouseonpretenseofreconcilingthem。
“Butthesecondpartofthelettersetmethinking。Hereitis，inhisownwords。
“’ItisonlybystrugglingagainstmyselfandnolanguagecansayhowhardthestrugglehasbeenthatIhavedecidedonwriting，insteadofspeakingtoyou。Amercilessnecessityclaimsmyfuturelife。ImustleaveThorpeAmbrose，ImustleaveEngland，withouthesitating，withoutstoppingtolookback。Therearereasons——terriblereasons，whichIhavemadlytrifledwith——formyneverlettingMr。Armadaleseteyesonme，orhearofmeagain，afterwhathashappenedbetweenus。Imustgo，nevermoretoliveunderthesameroof，nevermoretobreathethesameairwiththatman。Imusthidemyselffromhimunderanassumedname;Imustputthemountainsandtheseasbetweenus。Ihavebeenwarnedasnohumancreaturewaseverwarnedbefore。I
believe——Idarenottellyouwhy——Ibelievethat，ifthefascinationyouhaveformedrawsmebacktoyou，fatalconsequenceswillcomeofittothemanwhoselifehasbeensostrangelymingledwithyourlifeandmine——themanwhowasonce_your_admirerand_my_friend。Andyet，feelingthis，seeingitinmymindasplainlyasIseetheskyabovemyhead，thereisaweaknessinmethatstillshrinksfromtheoneimperativesacrificeofneverseeingyouagain。Iamfightingwithitasamanfightswiththestrengthofhisdespair。Ihavebeennearenough，notanhoursince，toseethehousewhereyoulive，andhaveforcedmyselfawayagainoutofsightofit。CanIforcemyselfawayfurtherstill，nowthatmyletteriswritten——now，whentheuselessconfessionescapesme，andIowntolovingyouwiththefirstloveIhaveeverknown，withthelastloveIshalleverfeel？Letthecomingtimeanswerthequestion;Idarenotwriteofitorthinkofitmore。’
“Thosewerethelastwords。Inthatstrangewaytheletterended。
“Ifeltaperfectfeverofcuriositytoknowwhathemeant。Hislovingme，ofcourse，waseasyenoughtounderstand。Butwhatdidhemeanbysayinghehadbeenwarned？Whywashenevertoliveunderthesameroof，nevertobreathethesameairagain，withyoungArmadale？Whatsortofquarrelcoulditbewhichobligedonemantohidehimselffromanotherunderanassumedname，andtoputthemountainsandtheseasbetweenthem？Aboveall，ifhecameback，andletmefascinatehim，whyshoulditbefataltothehatefulloutwhopossessesthenoblefortuneandlivesinthegreathouse？
“IneverlongedinmylifeasIlongedtoseehimagainandputthesequestionstohim。Igotquitesuperstitiousaboutitasthedaydrewon。Theygavemeasweet-breadandacherrypuddingfordinner。Iactuallytriedifhewouldcomebackbythestonesintheplate！Hewill，hewon’t，hewill，hewon’t——andsoon。Itendedin’Hewon’t。’Irangthebell，andhadthethingstakenaway。IcontradictedDestinyquitefiercely。Isaid，’Hewill！’
andIwaitedathomeforhim。
“Youdon’tknowwhatapleasureitistometogiveyoualltheselittleparticulars。Countup——mybosomfriend，mysecondmother——countupthemoneyyouhaveadvancedonthechanceofmybecomingMrs。Armadale，andthenthinkofmyfeelingthisbreathlessinterestinanotherman。Oh，Mrs。Oldershaw，howintenselyIenjoytheluxuryofirritatingyou！
“Thedaygotontowardevening。Irangagain，andsentdowntoborrowarailwaytime-table。WhattrainsweretheretotakehimawayonSunday？ThenationalrespectfortheSabbathstoodmyfriend。Therewasonlyonetrain，whichhadstartedhoursbeforehewrotetome。Iwentandconsultedmyglass。Itpaidmethecomplimentofcontradictingthedivinationbycherry-stones。Myglasssaid:’Getbehindthewindow-curtain;hewon’tpassthelonglonelyeveningwithoutcomingbackagaintolookatthehouse。’Igotbehindthewindow-curtain，andwaitedwithhisletterinmyhand。
“ThedismalSundaylightfaded，andthedismalSundayquietnessinthestreetgrewquieterstill。Theduskcame，andIheardastepcomingwithitinthesilence。Myheartgavealittlejump——onlythinkofmyhavinganyheartleft！Isaidtomyself:
’Midwinter！’AndMidwinteritwas。
“Whenhecameinsighthewaswalkingslowly，stoppingandhesitatingateverytwoorthreesteps。Myuglylittledrawing-roomwindowseemedtobebeckoninghimoninspiteofhimself。AfterwaitingtillIsawhimcometoastandstill，alittleasidefromthehouse，butstillwithinviewofmyirresistiblewindow，Iputonmythingsandslippedoutbythebackwayintothegarden。Thelandlordandhisfamilywereatsupper，andnobodysawme。Iopenedthedoorinthewall，andgotroundbythelaneintothestreet。AtthatawkwardmomentI
suddenlyremembered，whatIhadforgottenbefore，thespysettowatchme，whowas，nodoubt，waitingsomewhereinsightofthehouse。
“Itwasnecessarytogettimetothink，anditwasinmystateofmindimpossibletoletMidwintergowithoutspeakingtohim。
Ingreatdifficultiesyougenerallydecideatonce，ifyoudecideatall。Idecidedtomakeanappointmentwithhimforthenextevening，andtoconsiderintheintervalhowtomanagetheinterviewsothatitmightescapeobservation。This，asIfeltatthetime，wasleavingmyowncuriosityfreetotormentmeforfour-and-twentymortalhours;butwhatotherchoicehadI？ItwasasgoodasgivingupbeingmistressofThorpeAmbrosealtogether，tocometoaprivateunderstandingwithMidwinterinthesightandpossiblyinthehearingofArmadale’sspy。
“Findinganoldletterofyoursinmypocket，Idrewbackintothelane，andwroteontheblankleaf，withthelittlepencilthathangsatmywatch-chain:’Imustandwillspeaktoyou。Itisimpossibletonight，butbeinthestreettomorrowatthistime，andleavemeafterwardforever，ifyoulike。Whenyouhavereadthis，overtakeme，andsayasyoupass，withoutstoppingorlookinground，“Yes，Ipromise。”’
“Ifoldedupthepaper，andcameonhimsuddenlyfrombehind。Ashestartedandturnedround，Iputthenoteintohishand，pressedhishand，andpassedon。BeforeIhadtakentenstepsI
heardhimbehindme。Ican’tsayhedidn’tlookround——Isawhisbigblackeyes，brightandglitteringinthedusk，devourmefromheadtofootinamoment;butotherwisehedidwhatItoldhim。
’Icandenyyounothing，’hewhispered;’Ipromise。’Hewentonandleftme。Icouldn’thelpthinkingatthetimehowthatbruteandboobyArmadalewouldhavespoiledeverythinginthesamesituation。
“Itriedhardallnighttothinkofawayofmakingourinterviewofthenexteveningsafefromdiscovery，andtriedinvain。Evenasearlyasthis，IbegantofeelasifMidwinter’sletterhad，insomeunaccountablemanner，stupefiedme。
“Mondaymorningmademattersworse。Newscamefrommyfaithfulally，Mr。Bashwood，thatMissMilroyandArmadalehadmetandbecomefriendsagain。YoumayfancythestateIwasin！AnhourortwolatertherecamemorenewsfromMr。Bashwood——goodnewsthistime。ThemischievousidiotatThorpeAmbrosehadshownsenseenoughatlasttobeashamedofhimself。Hehaddecidedonwithdrawingthespythatveryday，andheandhislawyerhadquarreledinconsequence。
“SoherewastheobstaclewhichIwastoostupidtoremoveformyselfobliginglyremovedforme！NomoreneedtofretaboutthecominginterviewwithMidwinter;andplentyoftimetoconsidermynextproceedings，nowthatMissMilroyandherpreciousswainhadcometogetheragain。Wouldyoubelieveit，theletter，orthemanhimselfIdon’tknowwhich，hadtakensuchaholdonmethat，thoughItriedandtried，Icouldthinkofnothingelse;
andthiswhenIhadeveryreasontofearthatMissMilroywasinafairwayofchanginghernametoArmadale，andwhenIknewthatmyheavydebtofobligationtoherwasnotpaidyet？Wasthereeversuchperversity？Ican’taccountforit;canyou？
“Theduskoftheeveningcameatlast。Ilookedoutofthewindow——andtherehewas！
“Ijoinedhimatonce;thepeopleofthehouse，asbefore，beingtoomuchabsorbedintheireatinganddrinkingtonoticeanythingelse。’Wemustn’tbeseentogetherhere，’Iwhispered。’Imustgoonfirst，andyoumustfollowme。’
“Hesaidnothinginthewayofreply。WhatwasgoingoninhismindIcan’tpretendtoguess;but，aftercomingtohisappointment，heactuallyhungbackasifhewashalfinclinedtogoawayagain。
“’Youlookasifyouwereafraidofme，’Isaid。
“’I_am_afraidofyou，’heanswered——’ofyou，andofmyself。’
“Itwasnotencouraging;itwasnotcomplimentary。ButIwasinsuchafrenzyofcuriositybythistimethat，ifhehadbeenruderstill，Ishouldhavetakennonoticeofit。Iledthewayafewstepstowardthenewbuildings，andstoppedandlookedroundafterhim。
“’MustIaskitofyouasafavor，’Isaid，’afteryourgivingmeyourpromise，andaftersuchaletterasyouhavewrittentome？’
“Somethingsuddenlychangedhim;hewasatmysideinaninstant。
’Ibegyourpardon，MissGwilt;leadthewaywhereyouplease。’
Hedroppedbackalittleafterthatanswer，andIheardhimsaytohimself，’What_is_tobe_will_be。WhathaveItodowithit，andwhathasshe？’
“Itcouldhardlyhavebeenthewords，forIdidn’tunderstandthem——itmusthavebeenthetonehespokein，Isuppose，thatmademefeelamomentarytremor。Iwashalfinclined，withouttheghostofareasonforit，towishhimgood-night，andgoinagain。Notmuchlikeme，youwillsay。Notmuch，indeed！Itdidn’tlastamoment。YourdarlingLydiasooncametohersensesagain。
“Iledthewaytowardtheunfinishedcottages，andthecountrybeyond。Itwouldhavebeenmuchmoretomytastetohavehadhimintothehouse，andhavetalkedtohiminthelightofthecandles。ButIhadriskeditoncealready;andinthisscandal-mongeringplace，andinmycriticalposition，Iwasafraidtoriskitagain。Thegardenwasnottobethoughtofeither，forthelandlordsmokeshispipethereafterhissupper。
Therewasnoalternativebuttotakehimawayfromthetown。
“Fromtimetotime，IlookedbackasIwenton。Therehewas，alwaysatthesamedistance，dimandghost-likeinthedusk，silentlyfollowingme。
“Imustleaveoffforalittlewhile。Thechurchbellshavebrokenout，andthejanglingofthemdrivesmemad。Inthesedays，whenwehaveallgotwatchesandclocks，whyarebellswantedtoreminduswhentheservicebegins？Wedon’trequiretoberungintothetheater。Howexcessivelydiscreditabletotheclergytobeobligedtoringusintothechurch！——
“Theyhaverungthecongregationinatlast;and1cantakeupmypen，andgoonagain。
“Iwasalittleindoubtwheretoleadhimto。Thehigh-roadwasononesideofme;but，emptyasitlooked，somebodymightbepassingwhenweleastexpectedIt。Theotherwaywasthroughthecoppice。Iledhimthroughthecoppice。
“Attheoutskirtsofthetrees，ontheotherside，therewasadipinthegroundwithsomefelledtimberlyingonit，andalittlepoolbeyond，stillandwhiteandshininginthetwilight。
Thelonggrazing-groundsroseoveritsfurthershore，withthemistthickeningonthem，andadimblacklinefarawayofcattleinslowprocessiongoinghome。Therewasn’talivingcreaturenear;therewasn’tasoundtobeheard。Isatdownononeofthefelledtreesandlookedbackforhim。’Come，’Isaid，softly——’comeandsitbymehere。’
“WhyamIsoparticularaboutallthis？Ihardlyknow。Theplacemadeanunaccountablyvividimpressiononme，andIcan’thelpwritingaboutit。IfIendbadly——supposewesayonthescaffold？——IbelievethelastthingIshallsee，beforethehangmanpullsthedrop，willbethelittleshiningpool，andthelong，mistygrazing-grounds，andthecattlewindingdimlyhomeinthethickeningnight。Don’tbealarmed，youworthycreature！Myfanciesplaymestrangetrickssometimes;andthereisalittleoflastnight’slaudanum，Idaresay，inthispartofmyletter。
“Hecame——inthestrangestsilentway，likeamanwalkinginhissleep——hecameandsatdownbyme。Eitherthenightwasveryclose，orIwasbythistimeliterallyinafever:Icouldn’tbearmybonneton;Icouldn’tbearmygloves。Thewanttolookathim，andseewhathissingularsilencemeant，andtheimpossibilityofdoingitinthedarkeninglight，irritatedmynerves，tillIthoughtIshouldhavescreamed。Itookhishand，totryifthatwouldhelpme。Itwasburninghot;anditclosedinstantlyonmine——youknowhow。Silence，after_that，_wasnottobethoughtof。Theonesafewaywastobegintalkingtohimatonce。
“’Don’tdespiseme，’Isaid。’Iamobligedtobringyoutothislonelyplace;Ishouldlosemycharacterifwewereseentogether。’
“Iwaitedalittle。Hishandwarnedmeoncemorenottoletthesilencecontinue。Ideterminedto_make_himspeaktomethistime。
“’Youhaveinterestedme，andfrightenedme，’Iwenton。’Youhavewrittenmeaverystrangeletter。Imustknowwhatitmeans。’
“’Itistoolatetoask。_You_havetakentheway，and_I_havetakentheway，fromwhichthereisnoturningback。’Hemadethatstrangeanswerinatonethatwasquitenewtome——atonethatmademeevenmoreuneasythanhissilencehadmademethemomentbefore。’Toolate，’herepeated——’toolate！Thereisonlyonequestiontoaskmenow。’
“’Whatisit？’
“AsIsaidthewords，asuddentremblingpassedfromhishandtomine，andtoldmeinstantlythatIhadbetterhaveheldmytongue。BeforeIcouldmove，beforeIcouldthink，hehadmeinhisarms。’AskmeifIloveyou，’hewhispered。Atthesamemomenthisheadsankonmybosom;andsomeunutterabletorturethatwasinhimburstitswayout，asitdoeswith_us，_inapassionofsobsandtears。
“Myfirstimpulsewastheimpulseofafool。Iwasonthepointofmakingourusualprotestanddefendingmyselfinourusualway。Luckilyorunluckily，Idon’tknowwhich，Ihavelostthefineedgeofthesensitivenessofyouth;andIcheckedthefirstmovementofmyhands，andthefirstwordonmylips。Oh，dear，howoldIfelt，whilehewassobbinghisheartoutonmybreast！
HowIthoughtofthetimewhenhemighthavepossessedhimselfofmylove！Allhehadpossessedhimselfofnowwas——mywaist。
“IwonderwhetherIpitiedhim？Itdoesn’tmatterifIdid。Atanyrate，myhandlifteditselfsomehow，andmyfingerstwinedthemselvessoftlyinhishair。Horriblerecollectionscamebacktomeofothertimes，andmademeshudderasItouchedhim。AndyetIdidit。Whatfoolswomenare！
“’Iwon’treproachyou，’Isaid，gently。’Iwon’tsaythisisacrueladvantagetotakeofme，insuchapositionasmine。Youaredreadfullyagitated;Iwillletyouwaitalittleandcomposeyourself。’
“Havinggotasfarasthat，IstoppedtoconsiderhowIshouldputthequestionstohimthatIwasburningtoask。ButIwastooconfused，Isuppose，orperhapstooimpatienttoconsider。Iletoutwhatwasuppermostinmymind，inthewordsthatcamefirst。
“’Idon’tbelieveyouloveme，’Isaid。’Youwritestrangethingstome;youfrightenmewithmysteries。WhatdidyoumeanbysayinginyourletterthatitwouldbefataltoMr。Armadaleifyoucamebacktome？WhatdangercantherebetoMr。
Armadale——？’
“BeforeIcouldfinishthequestion，hesuddenlyliftedhisheadandunclaspedhisarms。Ihadapparentlytouchedsomepainfulsubjectwhichrecalledhimtohimself。Insteadofmyshrinkingfrom_him，_itwashewhoshrankfrom_me。_Ifeltoffendedwithhim;why，Idon’tknow——butoffendedIwas;andIthankedhimwithmybitterestemphasisforrememberingwhatwasduetome，_atlast！_
“’DoyoubelieveinDreams？’heburstout，inthemoststrangelyabruptmanner，withouttakingtheslightestnoticeofwhatIhadsaidtohim。’Tellme，’hewenton，withoutallowingmetimetoanswer，’wereyou，orwasanyrelationofyours，everconnectedwithAllanArmadale’sfatherormother？Wereyou，orwasanybodybelongingtoyou，everintheislandofMadeira？’
“Conceivemyastonishment，ifyoucan。Iturnedcold。InaninstantIturnedcoldallover。HewasplainlyinthesecretofwhathadhappenedwhenIwasinMrs。Armadale’sserviceinMadeira——inallprobabilitybeforehewasborn！Thatwasstartlingenoughofitself。Andhehadevidentlysomereasonofhisownfortryingtoconnect_me_withthoseevents——whichwasmorestartlingstill。
“’No，’Isaid，assoonasIcouldtrustmyselftospeak。’Iknownothingofhisfatherormother。’
“’AndnothingoftheislandofMadeira？’
“’NothingoftheislandofMadeira。’
“Heturnedhisheadaway，andbegantalkingtohimself。
“’Strange！’hesaid。’AscertainlyasIwasintheShadow’splaceatthewindow，_she_wasintheShadow’splaceatthepool！’
“Underothercircumstances，hisextraordinarybehaviormighthavealarmedme。ButafterhisquestionaboutMadeira，therewassomegreaterfearinmewhichkeptallcommonalarmatadistance。I
don’tthinkIeverdeterminedonanythinginmylifeasI
determinedonfindingouthowhehadgothisinformation，andwhohereallywas。ItwasquiteplaintomethatIhadrousedsomehiddenfeelinginhimbymyquestionaboutArmadale，whichwasasstronginitswayashisfeelingfor_me。_Whathadbecomeofmyinfluenceoverhim？
“Icouldn’timaginewhathadbecomeofit;butIcouldanddidsettoworktomakehimfeelitagain。
“’Don’ttreatmecruelly，’Isaid;’Ididn’ttreat_you_cruellyjustnow。Oh，Mr。Midwinter，it’ssolonely，it’ssodark——don’tfrightenme！’
“’Frightenyou！’Hewasclosetomeagaininamoment。’Frightenyou！’HerepeatedthewordwithasmuchastonishmentasifIhadwokehimfromadream，andchargedhimwithsomethingthathehadsaidinhissleep。
“Itwasonthetipofmytongue，findinghowIhadsurprisedhim，totakehimwhilehewasoffhisguard，andtoaskwhymyquestionaboutArmadalehadproducedsuchachangeinhisbehaviortome。Butafterwhathadhappenedalready，Iwasafraidtoriskreturningtothesubjecttoosoon。Somethingorother——whattheycallaninstinct，Idaresay——warnedmetoletArmadalealoneforthepresent，andtotalktohimfirstabouthimself。AsItoldyouinoneofmyearlyletters，Ihadnoticedsignsandtokensinhismannerandappearancewhichconvincedme，youngashewas，thathehaddonesomethingorsufferedsomethingoutofthecommoninhispastlife。IhadaskedmyselfmoreandmoresuspiciouslyeverytimeIsawhimwhetherhewaswhatheappearedtobe;andfirstandforemostamongmyotherdoubtswasadoubtwhetherhewaspassingamongusbyhisrealname。Havingsecretstokeepaboutmyownpastlife，andhavinggonemyselfinotherdaysbymorethanoneassumedname，IsupposeIamallthereadiertosuspectotherpeoplewhenIfindsomethingmysteriousaboutthem。Anyway，havingthesuspicioninmymind，I
determinedtostartlehim，ashehadstartledme，byanunexpectedquestiononmyside——aquestionabouthisname。
“WhileIwasthinking，hewasthinking;and，asitsoonappeared，ofwhatIhadjustsaidtohim。’Iamsogrievedtohavefrightenedyou，’hewhispered，withthatgentlenessandhumilitywhichweallsoheartilydespiseinamanwhenhespeakstootherwomen，andwhichweallsodearlylikewhenhespeakstoourselves。’IhardlyknowwhatIhavebeensaying，’hewenton;
’mymindismiserablydisturbed。Prayforgiveme，ifyoucan;I
amnotmyselfto-night。’
“’Iamnotangry，’Isaid;’Ihavenothingtoforgive。Wearebothimprudent;wearebothunhappy。’Ilaidmyheadonhisshoulder。’Doyoureallyloveme？’Iaskedhim，softly，inawhisper。
“Hisarmstoleroundmeagain;andIfeltthequickbeatofhisheartgetquickerandquicker。’Ifyouonlyknew！’hewhisperedback;’ifyouonlyknew——’Hecouldsaynomore。Ifelthisfacebendingtowardmine，anddroppedmyheadlower，andstoppedhimintheveryactofkissingme。
“’No，’Isaid;’Iamonlyawomanwhohastakenyourfancy。YouaretreatingmeasifIwasyourpromisedwife。’
“’_Be_mypromisedwife！’hewhispered，eagerly，andtriedtoraisemyhead。Ikeptitdown。Thehorroroftheseoldremembrancesthatyouknowofcamebackandmademetremblealittlewhenheaskedmetobehiswife。Idon’tthinkIwasactuallyfaint;butsomethinglikefaintnessmademeclosemyeyes。ThemomentIshutthem，thedarknessseemedtoopenasiflightninghadsplitit;andtheghostsof_thoseothermen_roseinthehorridgap，andlookedatme。
“’Speaktome！’hewhispered，tenderly。’Mydarling，myangel，speaktome！’
“Hisvoicehelpedmetorecovermyself。Ihadjustsenseenoughlefttorememberthatthetimewaspassing，andthatIhadnotputmyquestiontohimyetabouthisname。
“’SupposeIfeltforyouasyoufeelforme？’Isaid。’SupposeI
lovedyoudearlyenoughtotrustyouwiththehappinessofallmylifetocome？’
“Ipausedamomenttogetmybreath。Itwasunbearablystillandclose;theairseemedtohavediedwhenthenightcame。
“’Wouldyoubemarryingmehonorably，’Iwenton，’ifyoumarriedmeinyourpresentname？’
“Hisarmdroppedfrommywaist，andIfelthimgiveonegreatstart。Afterthathesatbyme，still，andcold，andsilent，asifmyquestionhadstruckhimdumb。Iputmyarmroundhisneck，andliftedmyheadagainonhisshoulder。WhateverthespellwasIhadlaidonhim，mycomingcloserinthatwayseemedtobreakit。
“’Whotoldyou？’Hestopped。’No，’hewenton，’nobodycanhavetoldyou。Whatmadeyoususpect——？’Hestoppedagain。
“’Nobodytoldme，’Isaid;’andIdon’tknowwhatmademesuspect。Womenhavestrangefanciessometimes。IsMidwinterreallyyourname？’
“’Ican’tdeceiveyou，’heanswered，afteranotherintervalofsilence;’Midwinteris_not_reallymyname。’
“Inestledalittleclosertohim。
“’What_is_yourname？’Iasked。
“Hehesitated。
“Iliftedmyfacetillmycheekjusttouchedhis。Ipersisted，withmylipscloseathisear:
“’What，noconfidenceinmeevenyet！Noconfidenceinthewomanwhohasalmostconfessedshelovesyou——whohasalmostconsentedtobeyourwife！’
“Heturnedhisfacetomine。Forthesecondtimehetriedtokissme，andforthesecondtimeIstoppedhim。
“’IfItellyoumyname，’hesaid，’Imusttellyoumore。’
“Iletmycheektouchhisagain。
“’Whynot？’Isaid。’HowcanIloveaman——muchlessmarryhim——ifhekeepshimselfastrangertome？’
“Therewasnoansweringthat，asIthought。Buthedidanswerit。
“’Itisadreadfulstory，’hesaid。’Itmaydarkenallyourlife，ifyouknowit，asithasdarkenedmine。’
“Iputmyotherarmroundhim，andpersisted。’Tellitme;I’mnotafraid;tellitme。’
“Hebegantoyieldtomyotherarm。
“’Willyoukeepitasacredsecret？’hesaid。’Nevertobebreathed——nevertobeknownbuttoyouandme？’
“Ipromisedhimitshouldbeasecret。Iwaitedinaperfectfrenzyofexpectation。Twicehetriedtobegin，andtwicehiscouragefailedhim。
“’Ican’t！’hebrokeoutinawild，helplessway。Ican’ttellit！’
“Mycuriosity，ormorelikelymytemper，gotbeyondallcontrol。
HehadirritatedmetillIwasrecklesswhatIsaidorwhatI
did。Isuddenlyclaspedhimclose，andpressedmylipstohis。’I
loveyou！’Iwhisperedinakiss。’_Now_willyoutellme？’
“Forthemomenthewasspeechless。Idon’tknowwhetherIdiditpurposelytodrivehimwild。Idon’tknowwhetherIdiditinvoluntarilyinaburstofrage。NothingiscertainbutthatI
interpretedhissilencethewrongway。IpushedhimbackfrommeinafurytheinstantafterIhadkissedhim。’Ihateyou！’I
said。’Youhavemaddenedmeintoforgettingmyself。Leaveme。I
don’tcareforthedarkness。Leavemeinstantly，andneverseemeagain！’
“Hecaughtmebythehandandstoppedme。Hespokeinanewvoice;hesuddenly_commanded，_asonlymencan。
“’Sitdown，’hesaid。’Youhavegivenmebackmycourage——youshallknowwhoIam。’
“Inthesilenceandthedarknessallroundus，Iobeyedhim，andsatdown。
“Inthesilenceandthedarknessallroundus，hetookmeinhisarmsagain，andtoldmewhohewas——
“ShallItrustyouwithhisstory？ShallItellyouhisrealname？ShallIshowyou，asIthreatened，thethoughtsthathavegrownoutofmyinterviewwithhimandoutofallthathashappenedtomesincethattime？
“OrshallIkeephissecretasIpromised？andkeepmyownsecrettoo，bybringingthisweary，longlettertoanendattheverymomentwhenyouareburningtohearmore！
“Thoseareseriousquestions，Mrs。Oldershaw——moreseriousthanyousuppose。Ihavehadtimetocalmdown，andIbegintosee，whatIfailedtoseewhenIfirsttookupmypentowritetoyou，thewisdomoflookingatconsequences。HaveIfrightenedmyselfintryingtofrighten_you？_Itispossible——strangeasitmayseem，itisreallypossible。
“Ihavebeenatthewindowforthelastminuteortwo，thinking。
Thereisplentyoftimeforthinkingbeforethepostleaves。Thepeopleareonlynowcomingoutofchurch。
“Ihavesettledtoputmyletterononeside，andtotakealookatmydiary。InplainerwordsImustseewhatIriskifIdecideontrustingyou;andmydiarywillshowmewhatmyheadistoowearytocalculatewithouthelp。Ihavewrittenthestoryofmydaysandsometimesthestoryofmynightsmuchmoreregularlythanusualforthelastweek，havingreasonsofmyownforbeingparticularlycarefulinthisrespectunderpresentcircumstances。
IfIendindoingwhatitisnowinmymindtodo，itwouldbemadnesstotrusttomymemory。ThesmallestforgetfulnessoftheslightesteventthathashappenedfromthenightofmyinterviewwithMidwintertothepresenttimemightbeutterruintome。
“’Utterruintoher！’youwillsay。’Whatkindofruindoesshemean？’
“Waitalittle，tillIhaveaskedmydiarywhetherIcansafelytellyou。”
CHAPTERX。
MISSGWILT’SDIARY。
“July21st，Mondaynight，eleveno’clock——Midwinterhasjustleftme。Wepartedbymydesireatthepathoutofthecoppice;
hegoinghiswaytothehotel，andIgoingminetomylodgings。
“Ihavemanagedtoavoidmakinganotherappointmentwithhimbyarrangingtowritetohimto-morrowmorning。Thisgivesmethenight’sintervaltocomposemyself，andtocoaxmymindbackifIcantomyownaffairs。Willthenightpass，andthemorningfindmestillthinkingoftheLetterthatcametohimfromhisfather’sdeathbed？ofthenighthewatchedthroughontheWreckedShip;and，morethanall，ofthefirstbreathlessmomentwhenhetoldmehisrealName？
“Wouldithelpmetoshakeofftheseimpressions，Iwonder，ifI
madetheeffortofwritingthemdown？Therewouldbenodanger，inthatcase，ofmyforgettinganythingimportant。Andperhaps，afterall，itmaybethefearofforgettingsomethingwhichI
oughttorememberthatkeepsthisstoryofMidwinter’sweighingasitdoesonmymind。Atanyrate，theexperimentisworthtrying。InmypresentsituationI_must_befreetothinkofotherthings，orIshallneverfindmywaythroughallthedifficultiesatThorpeAmbrosethatarestilltocome。
“Letmethink。What_haunts_me，tobeginwith？
“TheNameshauntme。Ikeepsayingandsayingtomyself:Bothalike！——Christiannameandsurnamebothalike！Alight-hairedAllanArmadale，whomIhavelongsinceknownof，andwhoisthesonofmyoldmistress。Adark-hairedAllanArmadale，whomIonlyknowofnow，andwhoisonlyknowntoothersunderthenameofOziasMidwinter。Strangerstill;itisnotrelationship，itisnotchance，thathasmadethemnamesakes。ThefatherofthelightArmadalewasthemanwhowas_born_tothefamilyname，andwholostthefamilyinheritance。ThefatherofthedarkArmadalewasthemanwho_took_thename，onconditionofgettingtheinheritance——andwhogotit。
“Sotherearetwoofthem——Ican’thelpthinkingofit——bothunmarried。Thelight-hairedArmadale，whoofferstothewomanwhocansecurehim，eightthousandayearwhilehelives;wholeaveshertwelvehundredayearwhenhedies;whomustandshallmarrymeforthosetwogoldenreasons;andwhomIhateandloatheasI
neverhatedandloathedamanyet。Andthedark-hairedArmadale，whohasapoorlittleincome，whichmightperhapspayhiswife’smilliner，ifhiswifewascareful;whohasjustleftme，persuadedthatImeantomarryhim;andwhom——well，whomI
_might_havelovedonce，beforeIwasthewomanIamnow。
“AndAllantheFairdoesn’tknowhehasanamesake。AndAllantheDarkhaskeptthesecretfromeverybodybuttheSomersetshireclergymanwhosediscretionhecandependonandmyself。
“AndtherearetwoAllanArmadales——twoAllanArmadales——twoAllanArmadales。There！threeisaluckynumber。Hauntmeagain，afterthat，ifyoucan！
“Whatnext？Themurderinthetimbership？No;themurderisagoodreasonwhythedarkArmadale，whosefathercommittedit，shouldkeephissecretfromthefairArmadale，whosefatherwaskilled;butitdoesn’tconcern_me。_IremembertherewasasuspicioninMadeiraatthetimeofsomethingwrong。_Was_itwrong？Wasthemanwhohadbeentrickedoutofhiswifetoblameforshuttingthecabindoor，andleavingthemanwhohadtrickedhimtodrowninthewreck？Yes;thewomanwasn’tworthit。
“WhatamIsureofthatreallyconcernsmyself？
“Iamsureofoneveryimportantthing。IamsurethatMidwinter——Imustcallhimbyhisuglyfalsename，orImayconfusethetwoArmadalesbeforeIhavedone——IamsurethatMidwinterisperfectlyignorantthatIandthelittleimpoftwelveyearsoldwhowaitedonMrs。ArmadaleinMadeira，andcopiedthelettersthatweresupposedtoarrivefromtheWestIndies，areoneandthesame。Therearenotmanygirlsoftwelvewhocouldhaveimitatedaman’shandwriting，andheldtheirtonguesaboutitafterward，asIdid;butthatdoesn’tmatternow。WhatdoesmatteristhatMidwinter’sbeliefintheDreamisMidwinter’sonlyreasonfortryingtoconnectmewithAllanArmadale，byassociatingmewithAllanArmadale’sfatherandmother。Iaskedhimifheactuallythoughtmeoldenoughtohaveknowneitherofthem。AndhesaidNo，poorfellow，inthemostinnocent，bewilderedway。WouldhesayNoifhesawmenow？ShallIturntotheglassandseeifIlookmyfive-and-thirtyyears？
orshallIgoonwriting？Iwillgoonwriting。
“ThereisonethingmorethathauntsmealmostasobstinatelyastheNames。
“IwonderwhetherIamrightinrelyingonMidwinter’
superstitionasIdotohelpmeinkeepinghimatarms-length。
AfterhavinglettheexcitementofthemomenthurrymeintosayingmorethanIneedhavesaid，heiscertaintopressme;heiscertaintocomeback，withaman’shatefulselfishnessandimpatienceinsuchthings，tothequestionofmarryingme。WilltheDreamhelpmetocheckhim？Afteralternatelybelievinganddisbelievinginit，hehasgot，byhisownconfession，tobelievinginitagain。CanIsayIbelieveinit，too？Ihavebetterreasonsfordoingsothanheknowsof。IamnotonlythepersonwhohelpedMrs。Armadale’smarriagebyhelpinghertoimposeonherownfather:Iamthewomanwhotriedtodrownherself;thewomanwhostartedtheseriesofaccidentswhichputyoungArmadaleinpossessionofhisfortune;thewomanwhohascomeThorpeAmbrosetomarryhimforhisfortune，nowhehasgotit;andmoreextraordinarystill，thewomanwhostoodintheShadow’splaceatthepool！Thesemaybecoincidences，buttheyarestrangecoincidences。IdeclareIbegintofancythat_I_
believeintheDreamtoo！
“SupposeIsaytohim，’Ithinkasyouthink。Isaywhatyousaidinyourlettertome，Letuspartbeforetheharmisdone。LeavemebeforetheThirdVisionoftheDreamcomestrue。Leaveme，andputthemountainsandtheseasbetweenyouandthemanwhobearsyourname！’
“Suppose，ontheotherside，thathisloveformemakeshimrecklessofeverythingelse？Supposehesaysthosedesperatewordsagain，whichIunderstandnow:What_is_tobe，_will_be。
WhathaveItodowithit，andwhathasshe？’Suppose——suppose——
“Iwon’twriteanymore。Ihatewriting。Itdoesn’trelieveme——itmakesmeworse。I’mfurtherfrombeingabletothinkofallthatI_must_thinkofthanIwaswhenIsatdown。Itispastmidnight。To-morrowhascomealready;andhereIamashelplessasthestupidestwomanliving！Bedistheonlyfitplaceforme。
“Bed？Ifitwastenyearssince，insteadofto-day;andifIhadmarriedMidwinterforlove，Imightbegoingtobednowwithnothingheavieronmymindthanavisitontiptoetothenursery，andalastlookatnighttoseeifmychildrenweresleepingquietlyintheircribs。IwonderwhetherIshouldhavelovedmychildrenifIhadeverhadany？Perhaps，yes——perhaps，no。Itdoesn’tmatter。
“Tuesdaymorning，teno’clock——Whowasthemanwhoinventedlaudanum？Ithankhimfromthebottomofmyheartwhoeverhewas。
Ifallthemiserablewretchesinpainofbodyandmind，whosecomforterhehasbeen，couldmeettogethertosinghispraises，whatachorusitwouldbe！Ihavehadsixdelicioushoursofoblivion;Ihavewokeupwithmymindcomposed;IhavewrittenaperfectlittlelettertoMidwinter;Ihavedrunkmynicecupoftea，witharealrelishofit;Ihavedawdledovermymorningtoiletwithanexquisitesenseofrelief——andallthroughthemodestlittlebottleofDrops，whichIseeonmybedroomchimney-pieceatthismoment。’Drops，’youareadarling！IfI
lovenothingelse，Ilove_you。_
“MylettertoMidwinterhasbeensentthroughthepost;andI
havetoldhimtoreplytomeinthesamemanner。
“Ifeelnoanxietyabouthisanswer——hecanonlyanswerinoneway。Ihaveaskedforalittletimetoconsider，becausemyfamilycircumstancesrequiresomeconsideration，inhisinterestsaswellasinmine。IhaveengagedtotellhimwhatthosecircumstancesarewhatshallIsay，Iwonder？whenwenextmeet;andIhaverequestedhiminthemeantimetokeepallthathaspassedbetweenusasecretforthepresent。AstowhatheistodohimselfintheintervalwhileIamsupposedtobeconsidering，Ihaveleftittohisowndiscretion——merelyremindinghimthathisattemptingtoseemeagainwhileourpositionstowardeachothercannotbeopenlyavowedmightinjuremyreputation。Ihaveofferedtowritetohimifhewishesit;
andIhaveendedbypromisingtomaketheintervalofournecessaryseparationasshortasIcan。
“Thissortofplain，unaffectedletter——whichImighthavewrittentohimlastnight，ifhisstoryhadnotbeenrunninginmyheadasitdid——hasonedefect，Iknow。Itcertainlykeepshimoutoftheway，whileIamcastingmynet，andcatchingmygoldfishatthegreathouseforthesecondtime;butitalsoleavesanawkwarddayofreckoningtocomewithMidwinterifIsucceed。
HowamItomanagehim？WhatamItodo？Ioughttofacethosetwoquestionsasboldlyasusual;butsomehowmycourageseemstofailme，andIdon’tquitefancymeeting_that_difficulty，tillthetimecomeswhenit_must_bemet。ShallIconfesstomydiarythatIamsorryforMidwinter，andthatIshrinkalittlefromthinkingofthedaywhenhehearsthatIamgoingtobemistressatthegreathouse？
“ButIamnotmistressyet;andIcan’ttakeastepinthedirectionofthegreathousetillIhavegottheanswertomyletter，andtillIknowthatMidwinterisoutoftheway。
Patience！patience！Imustgoandforgetmyselfatmypiano。
Thereisthe’MoonlightSonata’open，andtemptingme，onthemusic-stand。HaveInerveenoughtoplayit，Iwonder？Orwillitsetmeshudderingwiththemysteryandterrorofit，asitdidtheotherday？
“Fiveo’clock——Ihavegothisanswer。TheslightestrequestI
canmakeisacommandtohim。Hehasgone;andhesendsmehisaddressinLondon。’Therearetwoconsiderations’hesays
’whichhelptoreconcilemetoleavingyou。Thefirstisthat_you_wishit，andthatitisonlytobeforalittlewhile。ThesecondisthatIthinkIcanmakesomearrangementsinLondonforaddingtomyincomebymyownlabor。Ihavenevercaredformoneyformyself;butyoudon’tknowhowIambeginningalreadytoprizetheluxuriesandrefinementsthatmoneycanprovide，formywife’ssake。’Poorfellow！IalmostwishIhadnotwrittentohimasIdid;IalmostwishIhadnotsenthimawayfromme。
“FancyifMotherOldershawsawthispageinmydiary！Ihavehadaletterfromherthismorning——alettertoremindmeofmyobligations，andtotellmeshesuspectsthingsareallgoingwrong。Lethersuspect！Ishan’ttroublemyselftoanswer;I
can’tbeworriedwiththatoldwretchinthestateIaminnow。
“Itisalovelyafternoon——Iwantawalk——Imustn’tthinkofMidwinter。SupposeIputonmybonnet，andtrymyexperimentatonceatthegreathouse？Everythingisinmyfavor。Thereisnospytofollowme，andnolawyertokeepmeout，thistime。AmI
handsomeenough，today？Well，yes;handsomeenoughtobeamatchforalittledowdy，awkward，freckledcreature，whooughttobeperchedonaformatschool，andstrappedtoabackboardtostraightenhercrookedshoulders。
“’Thenurserylispsoutinalltheyutter;
Besides，theyalwayssmellofbread-and-butter。’
“HowadmirablyByronhasdescribedgirlsintheirteens！
“Eighto’clock——IhavejustgotbackfromArmadale’shouse。I
haveseenhim，andspokentohim;andtheendofitmaybesetdowninthreeplainwords。Ihavefailed。ThereisnomorechanceofmybeingMrs。ArmadaleofThorpeAmbrosethanthereisofmybeingQueenofEngland。
“ShallIwriteandtellOldershaw？ShallIgobacktoLondon？NottillIhavehadtimetothinkalittle。Notjustyet。
“Letmethink;Ihavefailedcompletely——failed，withallthecircumstancesinfavorofsuccess。Icaughthimaloneonthedriveinfrontofthehouse。Hewasexcessivelydisconcerted，butatthesametimequitewillingtohearme。Itriedhim，firstquietly——thenwithtears，andtherestofit。Iintroducedmyselfinthecharacterofthepoorinnocentwomanwhomhehadbeenthemeansofinjuring。Iconfused，Iinterested，Iconvincedhim。I
wentontothepurelyChristianpartofmyerrand，andspokewithsuchfeelingofhisseparationfromhisfriend，forwhichIwasinnocentlyresponsible，thatIturnedhisodiousrosyfacequitepale，andmadehimbegmeatlastnottodistresshim。But，whateverotherfeelingsIrousedinhim，Ineveroncerousedhisoldfeelingfor_me。_Isawitinhiseyeswhenhelookedatme;
Ifeltitinhisfingerswhenweshookhands。Wepartedfriends，andnothingmore。
“Itisforthis，isit，MissMilroy，thatIresistedtemptation，morningaftermorning，whenIknewyouwereoutaloneinthepark？Ihavejustleftyoutimetoslipin，andtakemyplaceinArmadale’sgoodgraces，haveI？Ineverresistedtemptationyetwithoutsufferingforitinsomesuchwayasthis！IfIhadonlyfollowedmyfirstthoughts，onthedaywhenItookleaveofyou，myyounglady——well，well，nevermindthatnow。Ihavegotthefuturebeforeme;youarenotMrs。Armadaleyet！AndIcantellyouoneotherthing——whoeverelsehemarries，hewillnevermarry_you。_IfIamevenwithyouinnootherway，trustme，whatevercomesofit，tobeevenwithyouthere！
“Iamnot，tomyownsurprise，inoneofmyfuriouspassions。ThelasttimeIwasinthisperfectlycoolstate，underseriousprovocation，somethingcameofit，whichIdaren’twritedown，eveninmyownprivatediary。Ishouldn’tbesurprisedifsomethingcomesofitnow。
“Onmywayback，IcalledatMr。Bashwood’slodgingsinthetown。
Hewasnotathome，andIleftamessagetellinghimtocomeheretonightandspeaktome。ImeantorelievehimatonceofthedutyoflookingafterArmadaleandMissMilroy。ImaynotseemywayyettoruiningherprospectsatThorpeAmbroseascompletelyasshehasruinedmine。Butwhenthetimecomes，andIdoseeit，Idon’tknowtowhatlengthsmysenseofinjurymaytakeme;andtheremaybeinconvenience，andpossiblydanger，inhavingsuchachicken-heartedcreatureasMr。Bashwoodinmyconfidence。
“IsuspectIammoreupsetbyallthisthanIsupposed。
Midwinter’sstoryisbeginningtohauntmeagain，withoutrhymeorreason。
“Asoft，quick，tremblingknockatthestreetdoor！Iknowwhoitis。NohandbutoldBashwood’scouldknockinthatway。
“Nineo’clock——Ihavejustgotridofhim。Hehassurprisedmebycomingoutinanewcharacter。
“ItseemsthoughIdidn’tdetecthimthathewasatthegreathousewhileIwasincompanywithArmadale。Hesawustalkingonthedrive，andheafterwardheardwhattheservantssaid，whosawustoo。Thewiseopinionbelowstairsisthatwehave’madeitup，’andthatthemasterislikelytomarrymeafterall。’He’ssweetonherredhair，’wastheelegantexpressiontheyusedinthekitchen。’Littlemissiecan’tmatchherthere;andlittlemissiewillgettheworstofit。’HowIhatethecoarsewaysofthelowerorders！
“WhileoldBashwoodwastellingmethis，Ithoughthelookedevenmoreconfusedandnervousthanusual。ButIfailedtoseewhatwasreallythematteruntilafterIhadtoldhimthathewastoleaveallfurtherobservationofMr。ArmadaleandMissMilroytome。Everydropofthelittlebloodthereisinthefeebleoldcreature’sbodyseemedtoflyupintohisface。Hemadequiteanoverpoweringeffort;hereallylookedasifhewoulddropdowndeadoffrightathisownboldness;butbeforcedoutthequestionforallthat，stammering，andstuttering，andkneadingdesperatelywithbothhandsatthebrimofhishideousgreathat。
’Ibegyourpardon，MissGwi-Gwi-Gwilt！Youarenotreallygo-go-goingtomarryMr。Armadale，areyou？Jealous——ifeverI
sawitinaman’sfaceyet，Isawitinhis——actuallyjealousofArmadaleathisage！IfIhadbeeninthehumorforit，Ishouldhaveburstoutlaughinginhisface。Asitwas，Iwasangry，andlostallpatiencewithhim。Itoldhimhewasanoldfool，andorderedhimtogoonquietlywithhisusualbusinessuntilIsenthimwordthathewaswantedagain。Hesubmittedasusual;buttherewasanindescribablesomethinginhiswateryoldeyes，whenhetookleaveofme，whichIhavenevernoticedinthembefore。
Lovehasthecreditofworkingallsortsofstrangetransformations。CanitbereallypossiblethatLovehasmadeMr。
Bashwoodmanenoughtobeangrywithme？
“Wednesday——MyexperienceofMissMilroy’shabitssuggestedasuspiciontomelastnightwhichIthoughtitdesirabletoclearupthismorning。
“Itwasalwaysherway，whenIwasatthecottage，totakeawalkearlyinthemorningbeforebreakfast。ConsideringthatIusedoftentochoosethatverytimefor_my_privatemeetingswithArmadale，itstruckmeaslikelythatmyformerpupilmightbetakingaleafoutofmybook，andthatImightmakesomedesirablediscoveriesifIturnedmystepsinthedirectionofthemajor’sgardenattherighthour。IdeprivedmyselfofmyDrops，tomakesureofwaking;passedamiserablenightinconsequence;andwasreadyenoughtogetupatsixo’clock，andwalkthedistancefrommylodgingstothecottageinthefreshmorningair。
“IhadnotbeenfiveminutesontheparksideofthegardeninclosurebeforeIsathercomeout。
“Sheseemedtohavehadabadnighttoo;hereyeswereheavyandred，andherlipsandcheekslookedswollenasifshehadbeencrying。Therewassomethingonhermind，evidently;something，asitsoonappeared，totakeheroutofthegardenintothepark。
Shewalkedifonecancallitwalking;withsuchlegsashers！
straighttothesummerhouse，andopenedthedoor，andcrossedthebridge，andwentonquickerandquickertowardthelowgroundinthepark，wherethetreesarethickest。Ifollowedherovertheopenspacewithperfectimpunityinthepreoccupiedstateshewasin;and，whenshebegantoslackenherpaceamongthetrees，Iwasamongthetreestoo，andwasnotafraidofherseeingme。
“Beforelong，therewasacracklingandtramplingofheavyfeetcominguptowardusthroughtheunder-woodinadeepdipoftheground。Iknewthatstepaswellassheknewit。’HereIam，’shesaid，inafaintlittlevoice。Ikeptbehindthetreesafewyardsoff，insomedoubtonwhichsideArmadalewouldcomeoutoftheunder-woodtojoinher。Hecameoutupthesideofthedell，oppositetothetreebehindwhichIwasstanding。Theysatdowntogetheronthebank。Isatdownbehindthetree，andlookedatthemthroughtheunder-wood，andheardwithouttheslightestdifficultyeverywordthattheysaid。
“Thetalkbeganbyhisnoticingthatshelookedoutofspirits，andaskingifanythinghadgonewrongatthecottage。Theartfullittleminxlostnotimeinmakingthenecessaryimpressiononhim;shebegantocry。Hetookherhand，ofcourse，andtried，inhisbrutishlystraightforwardway，tocomforther。No;shewasnottobecomforted。Amiserableprospectwasbeforeher;shehadnotsleptthewholenightforthinkingofit。Herfatherhadcalledherintohisroomthepreviousevening，hadspokenaboutthestateofhereducation，andhadtoldherinsomanywordsthatshewastogotoschool。Theplacehadbeenfound，andthetermshadbeensettled;andassoonasherclothescouldhegotready，misswastogo。
“’WhilethathatefulMissGwiltwasinthehouse，’saysthismodelyoungperson，’Iwouldhavegonetoschoolwillingly——I
wantedtogo。Butit’salldifferentnow;Idon’tthinkofitinthesameway;Ifeeltoooldforschool。I’mquiteheart-broken，Mr。Armadale。’Thereshestoppedasifshehadmeanttosaymore，andgavehimalookwhichfinishedthesentenceplainly:’I’mquiteheart-broken，Mr。Armadale，nowwearefriendlyagain，atgoingawayfromyou！’Fordownrightbrazenimpudence，whichagrownwomanwouldbeashamedof，givemetheyounggirlswhose’modesty’issopertinaciouslyinsistedonbythenauseousdomesticsentimentalistsofthepresentday！