第3章
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  Thedoorwasasbeforeopenedatinycrack,andagaintwosharpandsuspiciouseyesstaredathimoutofthedarkness。ThenRaskolnikovlosthisheadandnearlymadeagreatmistake。

  Fearingtheoldwomanwouldbefrightenedbytheirbeingalone,andnothopingthatthesightofhimwoulddisarmhersuspicions,hetookholdofthedooranddrewittowardshimtopreventtheoldwomanfromattemptingtoshutitagain。Seeingthisshedidnotpullthedoorback,butshedidnotletgothehandlesothathealmostdraggedheroutwithitontothestairs。Seeingthatshewasstandinginthedoorwaynotallowinghimtopass,headvancedstraightuponher。Shesteppedbackinalarm,triedtosaysomething,butseemedunabletospeakandstaredwithopeneyesathim。

  “Goodevening,AlyonaIvanovna,”hebegan,tryingtospeakeasily,buthisvoicewouldnotobeyhim,itbrokeandshook。“Ihavecome…Ihavebroughtsomething…butwe’dbettercomein…tothelight。…”

  Andleavingher,hepassedstraightintotheroomuninvited。Theoldwomanranafterhim;hertonguewasunloosed。

  “Goodheavens!Whatitis?Whoisit?Whatdoyouwant?”

  “Why,AlyonaIvanovna,youknowme…Raskolnikov…here,IbroughtyouthepledgeIpromisedtheotherday…”Andheheldoutthepledge。

  Theoldwomanglancedforamomentatthepledge,butatoncestaredintheeyesofheruninvitedvisitor。Shelookedintently,maliciouslyandmistrustfully。Aminutepassed;heevenfanciedsomethinglikeasneerinhereyes,asthoughshehadalreadyguessedeverything。Hefeltthathewaslosinghishead,thathewasalmostfrightened,sofrightenedthatifsheweretolooklikethatandnotsayawordforanotherhalfminute,hethoughthewouldhaverunawayfromher。

  “Whydoyoulookatmeasthoughyoudidnotknowme?”hesaidsuddenly,alsowithmalice。“Takeitifyoulike,ifnotI’llgoelsewhere,Iaminahurry。”

  Hehadnoteventhoughtofsayingthis,butitwassuddenlysaidofitself。Theoldwomanrecoveredherself,andhervisitor’sresolutetoneevidentlyrestoredherconfidence。

  “Butwhy,mygoodsir,allofaminute。…Whatisit?”sheasked,lookingatthepledge。

  “Thesilvercigarettecase;Ispokeofitlasttime,youknow。”

  Sheheldoutherhand。

  “Buthowpaleyouare,tobesure…andyourhandsaretremblingtoo?Haveyoubeenbathing,orwhat?”

  “Fever,”heansweredabruptly。“Youcan’thelpgettingpale…ifyou’venothingtoeat,”headded,withdifficultyarticulatingthewords。

  Hisstrengthwasfailinghimagain。Buthisanswersoundedlikethetruth;theoldwomantookthepledge。

  “Whatisit?”sheaskedoncemore,scanningRaskolnikovintently,andweighingthepledgeinherhand。

  “Athing…cigarettecase。…Silver。…Lookatit。”

  “Itdoesnotseemsomehowlikesilver。…Howhehaswrappeditup!”

  Tryingtountiethestringandturningtothewindow,tothelightallherwindowswereshut,inspiteofthestiflingheat,shelefthimaltogetherforsomesecondsandstoodwithherbacktohim。Heunbuttonedhiscoatandfreedtheaxefromthenoose,butdidnotyettakeitoutaltogether,simplyholdingitinhisrighthandunderthecoat。Hishandswerefearfullyweak,hefeltthemeverymomentgrowingmorenumbandmorewooden。Hewasafraidhewouldlettheaxeslipandfall。…Asuddengiddinesscameoverhim。

  “Butwhathashetiedituplikethisfor?”theoldwomancriedwithvexationandmovedtowardshim。

  Hehadnotaminutemoretolose。Hepulledtheaxequiteout,swungitwithbotharms,scarcelyconsciousofhimself,andalmostwithouteffort,almostmechanically,broughtthebluntsidedownonherhead。Heseemednottousehisownstrengthinthis。Butassoonashehadoncebroughttheaxedown,hisstrengthreturnedtohim。

  Theoldwomanwasasalwaysbareheaded。Herthin,lighthair,streakedwithgrey,thicklysmearedwithgrease,wasplaitedinarat’stailandfastenedbyabrokenhorncombwhichstoodoutonthenapeofherneck。Asshewassoshort,theblowfellontheverytopofherskull。Shecriedout,butveryfaintly,andsuddenlysankallofaheaponthefloor,raisingherhandstoherhead。Inonehandshestillheld“thepledge。”Thenhedealtheranotherandanotherblowwiththebluntsideandonthesamespot。Thebloodgushedasfromanoverturnedglass,thebodyfellback。Hesteppedback,letitfall,andatoncebentoverherface;shewasdead。Hereyesseemedtobestartingoutoftheirsockets,thebrowandthewholefaceweredrawnandcontortedconvulsively。

  Helaidtheaxeonthegroundnearthedeadbodyandfeltatonceinherpockettryingtoavoidthestreamingbody—thesameright-handpocketfromwhichshehadtakenthekeyonhislastvisit。Hewasinfullpossessionofhisfaculties,freefromconfusionorgiddiness,buthishandswerestilltrembling。Herememberedafterwardsthathehadbeenparticularlycollectedandcareful,tryingallthetimenottogetsmearedwithblood。…Hepulledoutthekeysatonce,theywereall,asbefore,inonebunchonasteelring。Heranatonceintothebedroomwiththem。Itwasaverysmallroomwithawholeshrineofholyimages。Againsttheotherwallstoodabigbed,verycleanandcoveredwithasilkpatchworkwaddedquilt。Againstathirdwallwasachestofdrawers。Strangetosay,sosoonashebegantofitthekeysintothechest,sosoonasheheardtheirjingling,aconvulsiveshudderpassedoverhim。Hesuddenlyfelttemptedagaintogiveitallupandgoaway。Butthatwasonlyforaninstant;itwastoolatetogoback。Hepositivelysmiledathimself,whensuddenlyanotherterrifyingideaoccurredtohismind。Hesuddenlyfanciedthattheoldwomanmightbestillaliveandmightrecoverhersenses。Leavingthekeysinthechest,heranbacktothebody,snatcheduptheaxeandlifteditoncemoreovertheoldwoman,butdidnotbringitdown。Therewasnodoubtthatshewasdead。Bendingdownandexaminingheragainmoreclosely,hesawclearlythattheskullwasbrokenandevenbatteredinononeside。Hewasabouttofeelitwithhisfinger,butdrewbackhishandandindeeditwasevidentwithoutthat。Meanwhiletherewasaperfectpoolofblood。Allatoncehenoticedastringonherneck;hetuggedatit,butthestringwasstronganddidnotsnapandbesides,itwassoakedwithblood。Hetriedtopullitoutfromthefrontofthedress,butsomethinghelditandpreventeditscoming。Inhisimpatienceheraisedtheaxeagaintocutthestringfromaboveonthebody,butdidnotdare,andwithdifficulty,smearinghishandandtheaxeintheblood,aftertwominutes’hurriedeffort,hecutthestringandtookitoffwithouttouchingthebodywiththeaxe;hewasnotmistaken—itwasapurse。Onthestringweretwocrosses,oneofCypruswoodandoneofcopper,andanimageinsilverfiligree,andwiththemasmallgreasychamoisleatherpursewithasteelrimandring。Thepursewasstuffedveryfull;Raskolnikovthrustitinhispocketwithoutlookingatit,flungthecrossesontheoldwoman’sbodyandrushedbackintothebedroom,thistimetakingtheaxewithhim。

  Hewasinterriblehaste,hesnatchedthekeys,andbegantryingthemagain。Buthewasunsuccessful。Theywouldnotfitinthelocks。Itwasnotsomuchthathishandswereshaking,butthathekeptmakingmistakes;thoughhesawforinstancethatakeywasnottherightoneandwouldnotfit,stillhetriedtoputitin。Suddenlyherememberedandrealisedthatthebigkeywiththedeepnotches,whichwashangingtherewiththesmallkeyscouldnotpossiblybelongtothechestofdrawersonhislastvisitthishadstruckhim,buttosomestrongbox,andthateverythingperhapswashiddeninthatbox。Heleftthechestofdrawers,andatoncefeltunderthebedstead,knowingthatoldwomenusuallykeepboxesundertheirbeds。Andsoitwas;therewasagood-sizedboxunderthebed,atleastayardinlength,withanarchedlidcoveredwithredleatherandstuddedwithsteelnails。Thenotchedkeyfittedatonceandunlockedit。Atthetop,underawhitesheet,wasacoatofredbrocadelinedwithhareskin;underitwasasilkdress,thenashawlanditseemedasthoughtherewasnothingbelowbutclothes。Thefirstthinghedidwastowipehisblood-stainedhandsontheredbrocade。“It’sred,andonredbloodwillbelessnoticeable,”thethoughtpassedthroughhismind;thenhesuddenlycametohimself。“GoodGod,amIgoingoutofmysenses?”hethoughtwithterror。

  Butnosoonerdidhetouchtheclothesthanagoldwatchslippedfromunderthefurcoat。Hemadehastetoturnthemallover。Thereturnedouttobevariousarticlesmadeofgoldamongtheclothes—probablyallpledges,unredeemedorwaitingtoberedeemed—bracelets,chains,ear-rings,pinsandsuchthings。Somewereincases,otherssimplywrappedinnewspaper,carefullyandexactlyfolded,andtiedroundwithtape。Withoutanydelay,hebeganfillingupthepocketsofhistrousersandovercoatwithoutexaminingorundoingtheparcelsandcases;buthehadnottimetotakemany。…

  Hesuddenlyheardstepsintheroomwheretheoldwomanlay。Hestoppedshortandwasstillasdeath。Butallwasquiet,soitmusthavebeenhisfancy。Allatoncehehearddistinctlyafaintcry,asthoughsomeonehadutteredalowbrokenmoan。Thenagaindeadsilenceforaminuteortwo。Hesatsquattingonhisheelsbytheboxandwaitedholdinghisbreath。Suddenlyhejumpedup,seizedtheaxeandranoutofthebedroom。

  InthemiddleoftheroomstoodLizavetawithabigbundleinherarms。Shewasgazinginstupefactionathermurderedsister,whiteasasheetandseemingnottohavethestrengthtocryout。Seeinghimrunoutofthebedroom,shebeganfaintlyquiveringallover,likealeaf,ashudderrandownherface;sheliftedherhand,openedhermouth,butstilldidnotscream。Shebeganslowlybackingawayfromhimintothecorner,staringintently,persistentlyathim,butstillutterednosound,asthoughshecouldnotgetbreathtoscream。Herushedatherwiththeaxe;hermouthtwitchedpiteously,asoneseesbabies’mouths,whentheybegintobefrightened,stareintentlyatwhatfrightensthemandareonthepointofscreaming。AndthishaplessLizavetawassosimpleandhadbeensothoroughlycrushedandscaredthatshedidnotevenraiseahandtoguardherface,thoughthatwasthemostnecessaryandnaturalactionatthemoment,fortheaxewasraisedoverherface。Sheonlyputupheremptylefthand,butnottoherface,slowlyholdingitoutbeforeherasthoughmotioninghimaway。Theaxefellwiththesharpedgejustontheskullandsplitatoneblowallthetopofthehead。Shefellheavilyatonce。Raskolnikovcompletelylosthishead,snatchingupherbundle,droppeditagainandranintotheentry。

  Feargainedmoreandmoremasteryoverhim,especiallyafterthissecond,quiteunexpectedmurder。Helongedtorunawayfromtheplaceasfastaspossible。Andifatthatmomenthehadbeencapableofseeingandreasoningmorecorrectly,ifhehadbeenabletorealiseallthedifficultiesofhisposition,thehopelessness,thehideousnessandtheabsurdityofit,ifhecouldhaveunderstoodhowmanyobstaclesand,perhaps,crimeshehadstilltoovercomeortocommit,togetoutofthatplaceandtomakehiswayhome,itisverypossiblethathewouldhaveflungupeverything,andwouldhavegonetogivehimselfup,andnotfromfear,butfromsimplehorrorandloathingofwhathehaddone。Thefeelingofloathingespeciallysurgedupwithinhimandgrewstrongereveryminute。Hewouldnotnowhavegonetotheboxorevenintotheroomforanythingintheworld。

  Butasortofblankness,evendreaminess,hadbegunbydegreestotakepossessionofhim;atmomentsheforgothimself,orrather,forgotwhatwasofimportance,andcaughtattrifles。Glancing,however,intothekitchenandseeingabuckethalffullofwateronabench,hebethoughthimofwashinghishandsandtheaxe。Hishandswerestickywithblood。Hedroppedtheaxewiththebladeinthewater,snatchedapieceofsoapthatlayinabrokensauceronthewindow,andbeganwashinghishandsinthebucket。Whentheywereclean,hetookouttheaxe,washedthebladeandspentalongtime,aboutthreeminutes,washingthewoodwheretherewerespotsofbloodrubbingthemwithsoap。Thenhewipeditallwithsomelinenthatwashangingtodryonalineinthekitchenandthenhewasalongwhileattentivelyexaminingtheaxeatthewindow。Therewasnotraceleftonit,onlythewoodwasstilldamp。Hecarefullyhungtheaxeinthenooseunderhiscoat。Thenasfaraswaspossible,inthedimlightinthekitchen,helookedoverhisovercoat,histrousersandhisboots。Atthefirstglancethereseemedtobenothingbutstainsontheboots。Hewettedtheragandrubbedtheboots。Butheknewhewasnotlookingthoroughly,thattheremightbesomethingquitenoticeablethathewasoverlooking。Hestoodinthemiddleoftheroom,lostinthought。Darkagonisingideasroseinhismind—theideathathewasmadandthatatthatmomenthewasincapableofreasoning,ofprotectinghimself,thatheoughtperhapstobedoingsomethingutterlydifferentfromwhathewasnowdoing。“GoodGod!”hemuttered“Imustfly,fly,”andherushedintotheentry。Buthereashockofterrorawaitedhimsuchashehadneverknownbefore。

  Hestoodandgazedandcouldnotbelievehiseyes:thedoor,theouterdoorfromthestairs,atwhichhehadnotlongbeforewaitedandrung,wasstandingunfastenedandatleastsixinchesopen。Nolock,nobolt,allthetime,allthattime!Theoldwomanhadnotshutitafterhimperhapsasaprecaution。But,goodGod!Why,hehadseenLizavetaafterwards!Andhowcouldhe,howcouldhehavefailedtoreflectthatshemusthavecomeinsomehow!Shecouldnothavecomethroughthewall!

  Hedashedtothedoorandfastenedthelatch。

  “Butno,thewrongthingagain!Imustgetaway,getaway。…”

  Heunfastenedthelatch,openedthedoorandbeganlisteningonthestaircase。

  Helistenedalongtime。Somewherefaraway,itmightbeinthegateway,twovoiceswereloudlyandshrillyshouting,quarrellingandscolding。“Whataretheyabout?”Hewaitedpatiently。Atlastallwasstill,asthoughsuddenlycutoff;theyhadseparated。Hewasmeaningtogoout,butsuddenly,onthefloorbelow,adoorwasnoisilyopenedandsomeonebegangoingdownstairshummingatune。“Howisittheyallmakesuchanoise?”flashedthroughhismind。Oncemoreheclosedthedoorandwaited。Atlastallwasstill,notasoulstirring。Hewasjusttakingasteptowardsthestairswhenheheardfreshfootsteps。

  Thestepssoundedveryfaroff,attheverybottomofthestairs,butherememberedquiteclearlyanddistinctlythatfromthefirstsoundhebeganforsomereasontosuspectthatthiswassomeonecomingthere,tothefourthfloor,totheoldwoman。Why?Werethesoundssomehowpeculiar,significant?Thestepswereheavy,evenandunhurried。Nowhehadpassedthefirstfloor,nowhewasmountinghigher,itwasgrowingmoreandmoredistinct!Hecouldhearhisheavybreathing。Andnowthethirdstoreyhadbeenreached。Cominghere!Anditseemedtohimallatoncethathewasturnedtostone,thatitwaslikeadreaminwhichoneisbeingpursued,nearlycaughtandwillbekilled,andisrootedtothespotandcannotevenmoveone’sarms。

  Atlastwhentheunknownwasmountingtothefourthfloor,hesuddenlystarted,andsucceededinslippingneatlyandquicklybackintotheflatandclosingthedoorbehindhim。Thenhetookthehookandsoftly,noiselessly,fixeditinthecatch。Instincthelpedhim。Whenhehaddonethis,hecrouchedholdinghisbreath,bythedoor。Theunknownvisitorwasbynowalsoatthedoor。Theywerenowstandingoppositeoneanother,ashehadjustbeforebeenstandingwiththeoldwoman,whenthedoordividedthemandhewaslistening。

  Thevisitorpantedseveraltimes。“Hemustbeabig,fatman,”thoughtRaskolnikov,squeezingtheaxeinhishand。Itseemedlikeadreamindeed。Thevisitortookholdofthebellandrangitloudly。

  Assoonasthetinbelltinkled,Raskolnikovseemedtobeawareofsomethingmovingintheroom。Forsomesecondshelistenedquiteseriously。Theunknownrangagain,waitedandsuddenlytuggedviolentlyandimpatientlyatthehandleofthedoor。Raskolnikovgazedinhorroratthehookshakinginitsfastening,andinblankterrorexpectedeveryminutethatthefasteningwouldbepulledout。Itcertainlydidseempossible,soviolentlywasheshakingit。Hewastemptedtoholdthefastening,buthemightbeawareofit。Agiddinesscameoverhimagain。“Ishallfalldown!”flashedthroughhismind,buttheunknownbegantospeakandherecoveredhimselfatonce。

  “What’sup?Aretheyasleepormurdered?D-damnthem!”hebawledinathickvoice,“Hey,AlyonaIvanovna,oldwitch!LizavetaIvanovna,hey,mybeauty!openthedoor!Oh,damnthem!Aretheyasleeporwhat?”

  Andagain,enraged,hetuggedwithallhismightadozentimesatthebell。Hemustcertainlybeamanofauthorityandanintimateacquaintance。

  Atthismomentlighthurriedstepswereheardnotfaroff,onthestairs。someoneelsewasapproaching。Raskolnikovhadnotheardthematfirst。

  “Youdon’tsaythere’snooneathome,”thenew-comercriedinacheerful,ringingvoice,addressingthefirstvisitor,whostillwentonpullingthebell。“Goodevening,Koch。”

  “Fromhisvoicehemustbequiteyoung,”thoughtRaskolnikov。

  “Whothedevilcantell?I’vealmostbrokenthelock,”answeredKoch。“Buthowdoyoucometoknowme?

  “Why!ThedaybeforeyesterdayIbeatyouthreetimesrunningatbilliardsatGambrinus’。”

  “Oh!”

  “Sotheyarenotathome?That’squeer。It’sawfullystupidthough。Wherecouldtheoldwomanhavegone?I’vecomeonbusiness。”

  “Yes;andIhavebusinesswithher,too。”

  “Well,whatcanwedo?Goback,Isuppose,Aie—aie!AndIwashopingtogetsomemoney!”criedtheyoungman。

  “Wemustgiveitup,ofcourse,butwhatdidshefixthistimefor?Theoldwitchfixedthetimeformetocomeherself。It’soutofmyway。Andwherethedevilshecanhavegotto,Ican’tmakeout。Shesitsherefromyear’sendtoyear’send,theoldhag;herlegsarebadandyethereallofasuddensheisoutforawalk!”

  “Hadn’twebetterasktheporter?”

  “What?”

  “Whereshe’sgoneandwhenshe’llbeback。”

  “Hm。…Damnitall!…Wemightask。…Butyouknowsheneverdoesgoanywhere。”

  Andheoncemoretuggedatthedoor-handle。

  “Damnitall。There’snothingtobedone,wemustgo!”

  “Stay!”criedtheyoungmansuddenly。“Doyouseehowthedoorshakesifyoupullit?”

  “Well?”

  “Thatshowsit’snotlocked,butfastenedwiththehook!Doyouhearhowthehookclanks?”

  “Well?”

  “Why,don’tyousee?Thatprovesthatoneofthemisathome。Iftheywereallout,theywouldhavelockedthedoorfromtheoutsidewiththekeyandnotwiththehookfrominside。There,doyouhearhowthehookisclanking?Tofastenthehookontheinsidetheymustbeathome,don’tyousee。Sotheretheyaresittinginsideanddon’topenthedoor!”

  “Well!Andsotheymustbe!”criedKoch,astonished。“Whataretheyaboutinthere?”Andhebeganfuriouslyshakingthedoor。

  “Stay!”criedtheyoungmanagain。“Don’tpullatit!Theremustbesomethingwrong。…Here,you’vebeenringingandpullingatthedoorandstilltheydon’topen!Soeitherthey’vebothfaintedor…”

  “What?”

  “Itellyouwhat。Let’sgofetchtheporter,lethimwakethemup。”

  “Allright。”

  Bothweregoingdown。

  “Stay。YoustopherewhileIrundownfortheporter。”

  “Whatfor?”

  “Well,you’dbetter。”

  “Allright。”

  “I’mstudyingthelawyousee!It’sevident,e-vi-dentthere’ssomethingwronghere!”theyoungmancriedhotly,andherandownstairs。

  Kochremained。Oncemorehesoftlytouchedthebellwhichgaveonetinkle,thengently,asthoughreflectingandlookingabouthim,begantouchingthedoor-handlepullingitandlettingitgotomakesureoncemorethatitwasonlyfastenedbythehook。Thenpuffingandpantinghebentdownandbeganlookingatthekeyhole:butthekeywasinthelockontheinsideandsonothingcouldbeseen。

  Raskolnikovstoodkeepingtightholdoftheaxe。Hewasinasortofdelirium。Hewasevenmakingreadytofightwhentheyshouldcomein。Whiletheywereknockingandtalkingtogether,theideaseveraltimesoccurredtohimtoenditallatonceandshouttothemthroughthedoor。Nowandthenhewastemptedtoswearatthem,tojeeratthem,whiletheycouldnotopenthedoor!“Onlymakehaste!”wasthethoughtthatflashedthroughhismind。

  “Butwhatthedevilisheabout?…”Timewaspassing,oneminute,andanother—noonecame。Kochbegantoberestless。

  “Whatthedevil?”hecriedsuddenlyandinimpatiencedesertinghissentryduty,he,too,wentdown,hurryingandthumpingwithhisheavybootsonthestairs。Thestepsdiedaway。

  “Goodheavens!WhatamItodo?”

  Raskolnikovunfastenedthehook,openedthedoor—therewasnosound。Abruptly,withoutanythoughtatall,hewentout,closingthedoorasthoroughlyashecould,andwentdownstairs。

  Hehadgonedownthreeflightswhenhesuddenlyheardaloudvoicebelow—wherecouldhego!Therewasnowheretohide。Hewasjustgoingbacktotheflat。

  “Heythere!Catchthebrute!”

  Somebodydashedoutofaflatbelow,shouting,andratherfellthanrandownthestairs,bawlingatthetopofhisvoice。

  “Mitka!Mitka!Mitka!Mitka!Mitka!Blasthim!”

  Theshoutendedinashriek;thelastsoundscamefromtheyard;allwasstill。Butatthesameinstantseveralmentalkingloudandfastbegannoisilymountingthestairs。Therewerethreeorfourofthem。Hedistinguishedtheringingvoiceoftheyoungman。“They!”

  Filledwithdespairhewentstraighttomeetthem,feeling“comewhatmust!”Iftheystoppedhim—allwaslost;iftheylethimpass—allwaslosttoo;theywouldrememberhim。Theywereapproaching;theywereonlyaflightfromhim—andsuddenlydeliverance!Afewstepsfromhimontheright,therewasanemptyflatwiththedoorwideopen,theflatonthesecondfloorwherethepaintershadbeenatwork,andwhich,asthoughforhisbenefit,theyhadjustleft。Itwasthey,nodoubt,whohadjustrundown,shouting。Thefloorhadonlyjustbeenpainted,inthemiddleoftheroomstoodapailandabrokenpotwithpaintandbrushes。Inoneinstanthehadwhiskedinattheopendoorandhiddenbehindthewallandonlyinthenickoftime;theyhadalreadyreachedthelanding。Thentheyturnedandwentonuptothefourthfloor,talkingloudly。Hewaited,wentoutontiptoeandrandownthestairs。

  Noonewasonthestairs,norinthegateway。Hepassedquicklythroughthegatewayandturnedtotheleftinthestreet。

  Heknew,heknewperfectlywellthatatthatmomenttheywereattheflat,thattheyweregreatlyastonishedatfindingitunlocked,asthedoorhadjustbeenfastened,thatbynowtheywerelookingatthebodies,thatbeforeanotherminutehadpassedtheywouldguessandcompletelyrealisethatthemurdererhadjustbeenthere,andhadsucceededinhidingsomewhere,slippingbythemandescaping。Theywouldguessmostlikelythathehadbeenintheemptyflat,whiletheyweregoingupstairs。Andmeanwhilehedarednotquickenhispacemuch,thoughthenextturningwasstillnearlyahundredyardsaway。“Shouldheslipthroughsomegatewayandwaitsomewhereinanunknownstreet?No,hopeless!Shouldheflingawaytheaxe?Shouldhetakeacab?Hopeless,hopeless!”

  Atlasthereachedtheturning。Heturneddownitmoredeadthanalive。Herehewashalfwaytosafety,andheunderstoodit;itwaslessriskybecausetherewasagreatcrowdofpeople,andhewaslostinitlikeagrainofsand。Butallhehadsufferedhadsoweakenedhimthathecouldscarcelymove。Perspirationrandownhimindrops,hisneckwasallwet。“Myword,hehasbeengoingit!”someoneshoutedathimwhenhecameoutonthecanalbank。

  Hewasonlydimlyconsciousofhimselfnow,andthefartherhewenttheworseitwas。Herememberedhowever,thatoncomingoutontothecanalbank,hewasalarmedatfindingfewpeoplethereandsobeingmoreconspicuous,andhehadthoughtofturningback。Thoughhewasalmostfallingfromfatigue,hewentalongwayroundsoastogethomefromquiteadifferentdirection。

  Hewasnotfullyconsciouswhenhepassedthroughthegatewayofhishouse!hewasalreadyonthestaircasebeforeherecollectedtheaxe。Andyethehadaverygraveproblembeforehim,toputitbackandtoescapeobservationasfaraspossibleindoingso。Hewasofcourseincapableofreflectingthatitmightperhapsbefarbetternottorestoretheaxeatall,buttodropitlateroninsomebody’syard。Butitallhappenedfortunately,thedooroftheporter’sroomwasclosedbutnotlocked,sothatitseemedmostlikelythattheporterwasathome。Buthehadsocompletelylostallpowerofreflectionthathewalkedstraighttothedoorandopenedit。Iftheporterhadaskedhim,“Whatdoyouwant?”hewouldperhapshavesimplyhandedhimtheaxe。Butagaintheporterwasnotathome,andhesucceededinputtingtheaxebackunderthebench,andevencoveringitwiththechunkofwoodasbefore。Hemetnoone,notasoul,afterwardsonthewaytohisroom;thelandlady’sdoorwasshut。Whenhewasinhisroom,heflunghimselfonthesofajustashewas—hedidnotsleep,butsankintoblankforgetfulness。Ifanyonehadcomeintohisroomthen,hewouldhavejumpedupatonceandscreamed。Scrapsandshredsofthoughtsweresimplyswarminginhisbrain,buthecouldnotcatchatone,hecouldnotrestonone,inspiteofallhisefforts。…

  Sohelayaverylongwhile。Nowandthenheseemedtowakeup,andatsuchmomentshenoticedthatitwasfarintothenight,butitdidnotoccurtohimtogetup。Atlasthenoticedthatitwasbeginningtogetlight。Hewaslyingonhisback,stilldazedfromhisrecentoblivion。Fearful,despairingcriesroseshrillyfromthestreet,soundswhichheheardeverynight,indeed,underhiswindowaftertwoo’clock。Theywokehimupnow。

  “Ah!thedrunkenmenarecomingoutofthetaverns,”hethought,“it’spasttwoo’clock,”andatonceheleapedup,asthoughsomeonehadpulledhimfromthesofa。

  “What!Pasttwoo’clock!”

  Hesatdownonthesofa—andinstantlyrecollectedeverything!Allatonce,inoneflash,herecollectedeverything。

  Forthefirstmomenthethoughthewasgoingmad。Adreadfulchillcameoverhim;butthechillwasfromthefeverthathadbegunlongbeforeinhissleep。Nowhewassuddenlytakenwithviolentshivering,sothathisteethchatteredandallhislimbswereshaking。Heopenedthedoorandbeganlistening—everythinginthehousewasasleep。Withamazementhegazedathimselfandeverythingintheroomaroundhim,wonderinghowhecouldhavecomeinthenightbeforewithoutfasteningthedoor,andhaveflunghimselfonthesofawithoutundressing,withouteventakinghishatoff。Ithadfallenoffandwaslyingonthefloornearhispillow。

  “Ifanyonehadcomein,whatwouldhehavethought?ThatI’mdrunkbut…”

  Herushedtothewindow。Therewaslightenough,andhebeganhurriedlylookinghimselfalloverfromheadtofoot,allhisclothes;weretherenotraces?Buttherewasnodoingitlikethat;shiveringwithcold,hebegantakingoffeverythingandlookingoveragain。Heturnedeverythingovertothelastthreadsandrags,andmistrustinghimself,wentthroughhissearchthreetimes。

  Butthereseemedtobenothing,notrace,exceptinoneplace,wheresomethickdropsofcongealedbloodwereclingingtothefrayededgeofhistrousers。Hepickedupabigclaspknifeandcutoffthefrayedthreads。Thereseemedtobenothingmore。

  Suddenlyherememberedthatthepurseandthethingshehadtakenoutoftheoldwoman’sboxwerestillinhispockets!Hehadnotthoughttillthenoftakingthemoutandhidingthem!Hehadnoteventhoughtofthemwhilehewasexamininghisclothes!Whatnext?Instantlyherushedtotakethemoutandflingthemonthetable。Whenhehadpulledouteverything,andturnedthepocketinsideouttobesuretherewasnothingleft,hecarriedthewholeheaptothecorner。Thepaperhadcomeoffthebottomofthewallandhungthereintatters。Hebeganstuffingallthethingsintotheholeunderthepaper:“They’rein!Alloutofsight,andthepursetoo!”hethoughtgleefully,gettingupandgazingblanklyattheholewhichbulgedoutmorethanever。Suddenlyheshudderedalloverwithhorror;“MyGod!”hewhisperedindespair:“what’sthematterwithme?Isthathidden?Isthatthewaytohidethings?”

  Hehadnotreckonedonhavingtrinketstohide。Hehadonlythoughtofmoney,andsohadnotpreparedahiding-place。

  “Butnow,now,whatamIgladof?”hethought,“Isthathidingthings?Myreason’sdesertingme—simply!”

  Hesatdownonthesofainexhaustionandwasatonceshakenbyanotherunbearablefitofshivering。Mechanicallyhedrewfromachairbesidehimhisoldstudent’swintercoat,whichwasstillwarmthoughalmostinrags,coveredhimselfupwithitandoncemoresankintodrowsinessanddelirium。Helostconsciousness。

  Notmorethanfiveminuteshadpassedwhenhejumpedupasecondtime,andatoncepouncedinafrenzyonhisclothesagain。

  “HowcouldIgotosleepagainwithnothingdone?Yes,yes;Ihavenottakentheloopoffthearmhole!Iforgotit,forgotathinglikethat!Suchapieceofevidence!”

  Hepulledoffthenoose,hurriedlycutittopiecesandthrewthebitsamonghislinenunderthepillow。

  “Piecesoftornlinencouldn’trousesuspicion,whateverhappened;Ithinknot,Ithinknot,anyway!”herepeated,standinginthemiddleoftheroom,andwithpainfulconcentrationhefelltogazingabouthimagain,atthefloorandeverywhere,tryingtomakesurehehadnotforgottenanything。Theconvictionthatallhisfaculties,evenmemory,andthesimplestpowerofreflectionwerefailinghim,begantobeaninsufferabletorture。

  “Surelyitisn’tbeginningalready!Surelyitisn’tmypunishmentcominguponme?Itis!”

  Thefrayedragshehadcutoffhistrouserswereactuallylyingonthefloorinthemiddleoftheroom,whereanyonecominginwouldseethem!

  “Whatisthematterwithme!”hecriedagain,likeonedistraught。

  Thenastrangeideaenteredhishead;that,perhaps,allhisclotheswerecoveredwithblood,that,perhaps,therewereagreatmanystains,butthathedidnotseethem,didnotnoticethembecausehisperceptionswerefailing,weregoingtopieces…hisreasonwasclouded。…Suddenlyherememberedthattherehadbeenbloodonthepursetoo。“Ah!Thentheremustbebloodonthepockettoo,forIputthewetpurseinmypocket!”

  Inaflashhehadturnedthepocketinsideoutand,yes!—thereweretraces,stainsontheliningofthepocket!

  “Somyreasonhasnotquitedesertedme,soIstillhavesomesenseandmemory,sinceIguesseditofmyself,”hethoughttriumphantly,withadeepsighofrelief;“it’ssimplytheweaknessoffever,amoment’sdelirium,”andhetorethewholeliningoutoftheleftpocketofhistrousers。Atthatinstantthesunlightfellonhisleftboot;onthesockwhichpokedoutfromtheboot,hefanciedthereweretraces!Heflungoffhisboots;“tracesindeed!Thetipofthesockwassoakedwithblood;”hemusthaveunwarilysteppedintothatpool。…“ButwhatamItodowiththisnow?WhereamItoputthesockandragsandpocket?”

  Hegatheredthemallupinhishandsandstoodinthemiddleoftheroom。

  “Inthestove?Buttheywouldransackthestovefirstofall。Burnthem?ButwhatcanIburnthemwith?Therearenomatcheseven。No,bettergooutandthrowitallawaysomewhere。Yes,betterthrowitaway,”herepeated,sittingdownonthesofaagain,“andatonce,thisminute,withoutlingering…”

  Buthisheadsankonthepillowinstead。Againtheunbearableicyshiveringcameoverhim;againhedrewhiscoatoverhim。

  Andforalongwhile,forsomehours,hewashauntedbytheimpulseto“gooffsomewhereatonce,thismoment,andflingitallaway,sothatitmaybeoutofsightanddonewith,atonce,atonce!”Severaltimeshetriedtorisefromthesofa,butcouldnot。

  Hewasthoroughlywakedupatlastbyaviolentknockingathisdoor。

  “Open,do,areyoudeadoralive?Hekeepssleepinghere!”shoutedNastasya,bangingwithherfistonthedoor。“Forwholedaystogetherhe’ssnoringherelikeadog!Adogheistoo。OpenItellyou。It’spastten。”

  “Maybehe’snotathome,”saidaman’svoice。

  “Ha!that’stheporter’svoice。…Whatdoeshewant?”

  Hejumpedupandsatonthesofa。Thebeatingofhisheartwasapositivepain。

  “Thenwhocanhavelatchedthedoor?”retortedNastasya。“He’stakentoboltinghimselfin!Asifhewereworthstealing!Open,youstupid,wakeup!”

  “Whatdotheywant?Whytheporter?All’sdiscovered。Resistoropen?Comewhatmay!…”

  Hehalfrose,stoopedforwardandunlatchedthedoor。

  Hisroomwassosmallthathecouldundothelatchwithoutleavingthebed。Yes;theporterandNastasyawerestandingthere。

  Nastasyastaredathiminastrangeway。Heglancedwithadefiantanddesperateairattheporter,whowithoutawordheldoutagreyfoldedpapersealedwithbottle-wax。

  “Anoticefromtheoffice,”heannounced,ashegavehimthepaper。

  “Fromwhatoffice?”

  “Asummonstothepoliceoffice,ofcourse。Youknowwhichoffice。”

  “Tothepolice?…Whatfor?…”

  “HowcanItell?You’resentfor,soyougo。”

  Themanlookedathimattentively,lookedroundtheroomandturnedtogoaway。

  “He’sdownrightill!”observedNastasya,nottakinghereyesoffhim。Theporterturnedhisheadforamoment。“He’sbeeninafeversinceyesterday,”sheadded。

  Raskolnikovmadenoresponseandheldthepaperinhishands,withoutopeningit。“Don’tyougetupthen,”Nastasyawentoncompassionately,seeingthathewaslettinghisfeetdownfromthesofa。“You’reill,andsodon’tgo;there’snosuchhurry。Whathaveyougotthere?”

  Helooked;inhisrighthandheheldtheshredshehadcutfromhistrousers,thesock,andtheragsofthepocket。Sohehadbeenasleepwiththeminhishand。Afterwardsreflectinguponit,herememberedthathalfwakingupinhisfever,hehadgraspedallthistightlyinhishandandsofallenasleepagain。

  “Lookattheragshe’scollectedandsleepswiththem,asthoughhehasgotholdofatreasure…”

  AndNastasyawentoffintoherhystericalgiggle。

  Instantlyhethrustthemallunderhisgreatcoatandfixedhiseyesintentlyuponher。Farashewasfrombeingcapableofrationalreflectionatthatmoment,hefeltthatnoonewouldbehavelikethatwithapersonwhowasgoingtobearrested。“But…thepolice?”

  “You’dbetterhavesometea!Yes?I’llbringit,there’ssomeleft。”

  “No…I’mgoing;I’llgoatonce,”hemuttered,gettingontohisfeet。

  “Why,you’llnevergetdownstairs!”

  “Yes,I’llgo。”

  “Asyouplease。”

  Shefollowedtheporterout。

  Atonceherushedtothelighttoexaminethesockandtherags。

  “Therearestains,butnotverynoticeable;allcoveredwithdirt,andrubbedandalreadydiscoloured。Noonewhohadnosuspicioncoulddistinguishanything。Nastasyafromadistancecouldnothavenoticed,thankGod!”Thenwithatremorhebrokethesealofthenoticeandbeganreading;hewasalongwhilereading,beforeheunderstood。Itwasanordinarysummonsfromthedistrictpolice-stationtoappearthatdayathalf-pastnineattheofficeofthedistrictsuperintendent。

  “Butwhenhassuchathinghappened?Ineverhaveanythingtodowiththepolice!Andwhyjustto-day?”hethoughtinagonisingbewilderment。“GoodGod,onlygetitoversoon!”

  Hewasflinginghimselfonhiskneestopray,butbrokeintolaughter—notattheideaofprayer,butathimself。

  Hebegan,hurriedlydressing。“IfI’mlost,Iamlost,Idon’tcare!ShallIputthesockon?”hesuddenlywondered,“itwillgetdustierstillandthetraceswillbegone。”

  Butnosoonerhadheputitonthanhepulleditoffagaininloathingandhorror。Hepulleditoff,butreflectingthathehadnoothersocks,hepickeditupandputitonagain—andagainhelaughed。

  “That’sallconventional,that’sallrelative,merelyawayoflookingatit,”hethoughtinaflash,butonlyonthetopsurfaceofhismind,whilehewasshudderingallover,“there,I’vegotiton!Ihavefinishedbygettingiton!”

  Buthislaughterwasquicklyfollowedbydespair。

  “No,it’stoomuchforme…”hethought。Hislegsshook。“Fromfear,”hemuttered。Hisheadswamandachedwithfever。“It’satrick!Theywanttodecoymethereandconfoundmeovereverything,”hemused,ashewentoutontothestairs—“theworstofitisI’malmostlight-headed…Imayblurtoutsomethingstupid…”

  Onthestairsherememberedthathewasleavingallthethingsjustastheywereintheholeinthewall,“andverylikely,it’sonpurposetosearchwhenI’mout,”hethought,andstoppedshort。Buthewaspossessedbysuchdespair,suchcynicismofmisery,ifonemaysocallit,thatwithawaveofhishandhewenton。“Onlytogetitover!”

  Inthestreettheheatwasinsufferableagain;notadropofrainhadfallenallthosedays。Againdust,bricksandmortar,againthestenchfromtheshopsandpot-houses,againthedrunkenmen,theFinnishpedlarsandhalf-broken-downcabs。Thesunshonestraightinhiseyes,sothatithurthimtolookoutofthem,andhefelthisheadgoinground—asamaninafeverisapttofeelwhenhecomesoutintothestreetonabrightsunnyday。

  Whenhereachedtheturningintothestreet,inanagonyoftrepidationhelookeddownit…atthehouse…andatonceavertedhiseyes。

  “Iftheyquestionme,perhapsI’llsimplytell,”hethought,ashedrewnearthepolice-station。

  Thepolice-stationwasaboutaquarterofamileoff。Ithadlatelybeenmovedtonewroomsonthefourthfloorofanewhouse。Hehadbeenonceforamomentintheoldofficebutlongago。Turninginatthegateway,hesawontherightaflightofstairswhichapeasantwasmountingwithabookinhishand。“Ahouse-porter,nodoubt;sothen,theofficeishere,”andhebeganascendingthestairsonthechance。Hedidnotwanttoaskquestionsofanyone。

  “I’llgoin,fallonmyknees,andconfesseverything…”hethought,ashereachedthefourthfloor。

  Thestaircasewassteep,narrowandallsloppywithdirtywater。Thekitchensoftheflatsopenedontothestairsandstoodopenalmostthewholeday。Sotherewasafearfulsmellandheat。Thestaircasewascrowdedwithportersgoingupanddownwiththeirbooksundertheirarms,policemen,andpersonsofallsortsandbothsexes。Thedooroftheoffice,too,stoodwideopen。Peasantsstoodwaitingwithin。There,too,theheatwasstiflingandtherewasasickeningsmelloffreshpaintandstaleoilfromthenewlydecoratedrooms。

  Afterwaitingalittle,hedecidedtomoveforwardintothenextroom。Alltheroomsweresmallandlow-pitched。Afearfulimpatiencedrewhimonandon。Noonepaidattentiontohim。Inthesecondroomsomeclerkssatwriting,dressedhardlybetterthanhewas,andratheraqueer-lookingset。Hewentuptooneofthem。

  “Whatisit?”

  Heshowedthenoticehehadreceived。

  “Youareastudent?”themanasked,glancingatthenotice。

  “Yes,formerlyastudent。”

  Theclerklookedathim,butwithouttheslightestinterest。Hewasaparticularlyunkemptpersonwiththelookofafixedideainhiseye。

  “Therewouldbenogettinganythingoutofhim,becausehehasnointerestinanything,”thoughtRaskolnikov。

  “Gointheretotheheadclerk,”saidtheclerk,pointingtowardsthefurthestroom。

  Hewentintothatroom—thefourthinorder;itwasasmallroomandpackedfullofpeople,ratherbetterdressedthanintheouterrooms。Amongthemweretwoladies。One,poorlydressedinmourning,satatthetableoppositethechiefclerk,writingsomethingathisdictation。Theother,averystout,buxomwomanwithapurplish-red,blotchyface,excessivelysmartlydressedwithabroochonherbosomasbigasasaucer,wasstandingononeside,apparentlywaitingforsomething。Raskolnikovthrusthisnoticeupontheheadclerk。Thelatterglancedatit,said:“Waitaminute,”andwentonattendingtotheladyinmourning。

  Hebreathedmorefreely。“Itcan’tbethat!”

  Bydegreeshebegantoregainconfidence,hekepturginghimselftohavecourageandbecalm。

  “Somefoolishness,sometriflingcarelessness,andImaybetraymyself!Hm…it’sapitythere’snoairhere,”headded,“it’sstifling。…Itmakesone’sheaddizzierthanever…andone’smindtoo…”

  Hewasconsciousofaterribleinnerturmoil。Hewasafraidoflosinghisself-control;hetriedtocatchatsomethingandfixhismindonit,somethingquiteirrelevant,buthecouldnotsucceedinthisatall。Yettheheadclerkgreatlyinterestedhim,hekepthopingtoseethroughhimandguesssomethingfromhisface。

  Hewasaveryyoungman,abouttwoandtwenty,withadarkmobilefacethatlookedolderthanhisyears。Hewasfashionablydressedandfoppish,withhishairpartedinthemiddle,wellcombedandpomaded,andworeanumberofringsonhiswell-scrubbedfingersandagoldchainonhiswaistcoat。HesaidacoupleofwordsinFrenchtoaforeignerwhowasintheroom,andsaidthemfairlycorrectly。

  “LuiseIvanovna,youcansitdown,”hesaidcasuallytothegaily-dressed,purple-facedlady,whowasstillstandingasthoughnotventuringtositdown,thoughtherewasachairbesideher。

  “Ichdanke,”saidthelatter,andsoftly,witharustleofsilkshesankintothechair。Herlightbluedresstrimmedwithwhitelacefloatedaboutthetablelikeanair-balloonandfilledalmosthalftheroom。Shesmeltofscent。Butshewasobviouslyembarrassedatfillinghalftheroomandsmellingsostronglyofscent;andthoughhersmilewasimpudentaswellascringing,itbetrayedevidentuneasiness。

  Theladyinmourninghaddoneatlast,andgotup。Allatonce,withsomenoise,anofficerwalkedinveryjauntily,withapeculiarswingofhisshouldersateachstep。Hetossedhiscockadedcaponthetableandsatdowninaneasy-chair。Thesmallladypositivelyskippedfromherseatonseeinghim,andfelltocurtsyinginasortofecstasy;buttheofficertooknotthesmallestnoticeofher,andshedidnotventuretositdownagaininhispresence。Hewastheassistantsuperintendent。Hehadareddishmoustachethatstoodouthorizontallyoneachsideofhisface,andextremelysmallfeatures,expressiveofnothingmuchexceptacertaininsolence。HelookedaskanceandratherindignantlyatRaskolnikov;hewassoverybadlydressed,andinspiteofhishumiliatingposition,hisbearingwasbynomeansinkeepingwithhisclothes。Raskolnikovhadunwarilyfixedaverylonganddirectlookonhim,sothathefeltpositivelyaffronted。

  “Whatdoyouwant?”heshouted,apparentlyastonishedthatsucharaggedfellowwasnotannihilatedbythemajestyofhisglance。

  “Iwassummoned…byanotice…”Raskolnikovfaltered。

  “Fortherecoveryofmoneydue,fromthestudent,”theheadclerkinterferedhurriedly,tearinghimselffromhispapers。“Here!”andheflungRaskolnikovadocumentandpointedouttheplace。“Readthat!”

  “Money?Whatmoney?”thoughtRaskolnikov,“but…then…it’scertainlynotthat。”

  Andhetrembledwithjoy。Hefeltsuddenintenseindescribablerelief。Aloadwasliftedfromhisback。

  “Andpray,whattimewereyoudirectedtoappear,sir?”shoutedtheassistantsuperintendent,seemingforsomeunknownreasonmoreandmoreaggrieved。“Youaretoldtocomeatnine,andnowit’stwelve!”

  “Thenoticewasonlybroughtmeaquarterofanhourago,”Raskolnikovansweredloudlyoverhisshoulder。Tohisownsurprisehe,too,grewsuddenlyangryandfoundacertainpleasureinit。“Andit’senoughthatIhavecomehereillwithfever。”

  “Kindlyrefrainfromshouting!”

  “I’mnotshouting,I’mspeakingveryquietly,it’syouwhoareshoutingatme。I’mastudent,andallownoonetoshoutatme。”

  Theassistantsuperintendentwassofuriousthatforthefirstminutehecouldonlysplutterinarticulately。Heleapedupfromhisseat。

  “Besilent!Youareinagovernmentoffice。Don’tbeimpudent,sir!”

  “You’reinagovernmentoffice,too,”criedRaskolnikov,“andyou’resmokingacigaretteaswellasshouting,soyouareshowingdisrespecttoallofus。”

  Hefeltanindescribablesatisfactionathavingsaidthis。

  Theheadclerklookedathimwithasmile。Theangryassistantsuperintendentwasobviouslydisconcerted。

  “That’snotyourbusiness!”heshoutedatlastwithunnaturalloudness。“Kindlymakethedeclarationdemandedofyou。Showhim。AlexandrGrigorievitch。Thereisacomplaintagainstyou!Youdon’tpayyourdebts!You’reafinebird!”

  ButRaskolnikovwasnotlisteningnow;hehadeagerlyclutchedatthepaper,inhastetofindanexplanation。Hereaditonce,andasecondtime,andstilldidnotunderstand。

  “Whatisthis?”heaskedtheheadclerk。

  “ItisfortherecoveryofmoneyonanIOU,awrit。Youmusteitherpayit,withallexpenses,costsandsoon,orgiveawrittendeclarationwhenyoucanpayit,andatthesametimeanundertakingnottoleavethecapitalwithoutpayment,andnortosellorconcealyourproperty。Thecreditorisatlibertytosellyourproperty,andproceedagainstyouaccordingtothelaw。”

  “ButI…amnotindebttoanyone!”

  “That’snotourbusiness。Here,anIOUforahundredandfifteenroubles,legallyattested,anddueforpayment,hasbeenbroughtusforrecovery,givenbyyoutothewidowoftheassessorZarnitsyn,ninemonthsago,andpaidoverbythewidowZarnitsyntooneMr。Tchebarov。Wethereforesummonyou,hereupon。”

  “Butsheismylandlady!”

  “Andwhatifsheisyourlandlady?”

  Theheadclerklookedathimwithacondescendingsmileofcompassion,andatthesametimewithacertaintriumph,asatanoviceunderfireforthefirsttime—asthoughhewouldsay:“Well,howdoyoufeelnow?”ButwhatdidhecarenowforanIOU,forawritofrecovery!Wasthatworthworryingaboutnow,wasitworthattentioneven!Hestood,heread,helistened,heanswered,heevenaskedquestionshimself,butallmechanically。Thetriumphantsenseofsecurity,ofdeliverancefromoverwhelmingdanger,thatwaswhatfilledhiswholesoulthatmomentwithoutthoughtforthefuture,withoutanalysis,withoutsuppositionsorsurmises,withoutdoubtsandwithoutquestioning。Itwasaninstantoffull,direct,purelyinstinctivejoy。Butatthatverymomentsomethinglikeathunderstormtookplaceintheoffice。Theassistantsuperintendent,stillshakenbyRaskolnikov’sdisrespect,stillfumingandobviouslyanxioustokeepuphiswoundeddignity,pouncedontheunfortunatesmartlady,whohadbeengazingathimeversincehecameinwithanexceedinglysillysmile。

  “Youshamefulhussy!”heshoutedsuddenlyatthetopofhisvoice。Theladyinmourninghadlefttheoffice。“Whatwasgoingonatyourhouselastnight?Eh!Adisgraceagain,you’reascandaltothewholestreet。Fightinganddrinkingagain。Doyouwantthehouseofcorrection?Why,IhavewarnedyoutentimesoverthatIwouldnotletyouofftheeleventh!Andhereyouareagain,again,you…you…!”

  ThepaperfelloutofRaskolnikov’shands,andhelookedwildlyatthesmartladywhowassounceremoniouslytreated。Buthesoonsawwhatitmeant,andatoncebegantofindpositiveamusementinthescandal。Helistenedwithpleasure,sothathelongedtolaughandlaugh…allhisnerveswereonedge。

  “IlyaPetrovitch!”theheadclerkwasbeginninganxiously,butstoppedshort,forheknewfromexperiencethattheenragedassistantcouldnotbestoppedexceptbyforce。

  Asforthesmartlady,atfirstshepositivelytrembledbeforethestorm。But,strangetosay,themorenumerousandviolentthetermsofabusebecame,themoreamiableshelooked,andthemoreseductivethesmilesshelavishedontheterribleassistant。Shemoveduneasily,andcurtsiedincessantly,waitingimpatientlyforachanceofputtinginherword:andatlastshefoundit。

  “Therewasnosortofnoiseorfightinginmyhouse,Mr。Captain,”shepatteredallatonce,likepeasdropping,speakingRussianconfidently,thoughwithastrongGermanaccent,“andnosortofscandal,andhishonourcamedrunk,andit’sthewholetruthIamtelling,Mr。Captain,andIamnottoblame。…Mineisanhonourablehouse,Mr。Captain,andhonourablebehaviour,Mr。Captain,andIalways,alwaysdislikeanyscandalmyself。Buthecamequitetipsy,andaskedforthreebottlesagain,andthenhelifteduponeleg,andbeganplayingthepianofortewithonefoot,andthatisnotatallrightinanhonourablehouse,andheganzbrokethepiano,anditwasverybadmannersindeedandIsaidso。Andhetookupabottleandbeganhittingeveryonewithit。AndthenIcalledtheporter,andKarlcame,andhetookKarlandhithimintheeye;andhehitHenrietteintheeye,too,andgavemefiveslapsonthecheek。Anditwassoungentlemanlyinanhonourablehouse,Mr。Captain,andIscreamed。Andheopenedthewindowoverthecanal,andstoodinthewindow,squealinglikealittlepig;itwasadisgrace。Theideaofsquealinglikealittlepigatthewindowintothestreet!Fieuponhim!AndKarlpulledhimawayfromthewindowbyhiscoat,anditistrue,Mr。Captain,hetoreseinrock。Andthenheshoutedthatmanmusspayhimfifteenroublesdamages。AndIdidpayhim,Mr。Captain,fiveroublesforseinrock。Andheisanungentlemanlyvisitorandcausedallthescandal。‘Iwillshowyouup,’hesaid,‘forIcanwritetoallthepapersaboutyou。’”

  “Thenhewasanauthor?”

  “Yes,Mr。Captain,andwhatanungentlemanlyvisitorinanhonourablehouse。…”

  “Nowthen!Enough!Ihavetoldyoualready…”

  “IlyaPetrovitch!”theheadclerkrepeatedsignificantly。

  Theassistantglancedrapidlyathim;theheadclerkslightlyshookhishead。

  “…SoItellyouthis,mostrespectableLuiseIvanovna,andItellityouforthelasttime,”theassistantwenton。“Ifthereisascandalinyourhonourablehouseonceagain,Iwillputyouyourselfinthelock-up,asitiscalledinpolitesociety。Doyouhear?Soaliteraryman,anauthortookfiveroublesforhiscoat-tailinan‘honourablehouse’?Aniceset,theseauthors!”

  AndhecastacontemptuousglanceatRaskolnikov。“Therewasascandaltheotherdayinarestaurant,too。Anauthorhadeatenhisdinnerandwouldnotpay;‘I’llwriteasatireonyou,’sayshe。Andtherewasanotherofthemonasteamerlastweekusedthemostdisgracefullanguagetotherespectablefamilyofacivilcouncillor,hiswifeanddaughter。Andtherewasoneofthemturnedoutofaconfectioner’sshoptheotherday。Theyarelikethat,authors,literarymen,students,town-criers。…Pfoo!Yougetalong!Ishalllookinuponyoumyselfoneday。Thenyouhadbetterbecareful!Doyouhear?”

  Withhurrieddeference,LuiseIvanovnafelltocurtsyinginalldirections,andsocurtsiedherselftothedoor。Butatthedoor,shestumbledbackwardsagainstagood-lookingofficerwithafresh,openfaceandsplendidthickfairwhiskers。Thiswasthesuperintendentofthedistricthimself,NikodimFomitch。LuiseIvanovnamadehastetocurtsyalmosttotheground,andwithmincinglittlesteps,sheflutteredoutoftheoffice。

  “Againthunderandlightning—ahurricane!”saidNikodimFomitchtoIlyaPetrovitchinacivilandfriendlytone。“Youarearousedagain,youarefumingagain!Ihearditonthestairs!”

  “Well,whatthen!”IlyaPetrovitchdrawledwithgentlemanlynonchalance;andhewalkedwithsomepaperstoanothertable,withajauntyswingofhisshouldersateachstep。“Here,ifyouwillkindlylook:anauthor,orastudent,hasbeenoneatleast,doesnotpayhisdebts,hasgivenanIOU,won’tclearoutofhisroom,andcomplaintsareconstantlybeinglodgedagainsthim,andherehehasbeenpleasedtomakeaprotestagainstmysmokinginhispresence!Hebehaveslikeacadhimself,andjustlookathim,please。Here’sthegentleman,andveryattractiveheis!”

  “Povertyisnotavice,myfriend,butweknowyougoofflikepowder,youcan’tbearaslight,Idaresayyoutookoffenceatsomethingandwenttoofaryourself,”continuedNikodimFomitch,turningaffablytoRaskolnikov。“Butyouwerewrongthere;heisacapitalfellow,Iassureyou,butexplosive,explosive!Hegetshot,firesup,boilsover,andnostoppinghim!Andthenit’sallover!Andatthebottomhe’saheartofgold!HisnicknameintheregimentwastheExplosiveLieutenant。…”

  “Andwhataregimentitwas,too,”criedIlyaPetrovitch,muchgratifiedatthisagreeablebanter,thoughstillsulky。

  Raskolnikovhadasuddendesiretosaysomethingexceptionallypleasanttothemall。“Excuseme,Captain,”hebeganeasily,suddenlyaddressingNikodimFomitch,“willyouenterintomyposition?…Iamreadytoaskpardon,ifIhavebeenill-mannered。Iamapoorstudent,sickandshatteredshatteredwasthewordheusedbypoverty。Iamnotstudying,becauseIcannotkeepmyselfnow,butIshallgetmoney。…IhaveamotherandsisterintheprovinceofX。Theywillsendittome,andIwillpay。Mylandladyisagood-heartedwoman,butsheissoexasperatedatmyhavinglostmylessons,andnotpayingherforthelastfourmonths,thatshedoesnotevensendupmydinner…andIdon’tunderstandthisIOUatall。SheisaskingmetopayheronthisIOU。HowamItopayher?Judgeforyourselves!…”

  “Butthatisnotourbusiness,youknow,”theheadclerkwasobserving。

  “Yes,yes。Iperfectlyagreewithyou。Butallowmetoexplain…”Raskolnikovputinagain,stilladdressingNikodimFomitch,buttryinghisbesttoaddressIlyaPetrovitchalso,thoughthelatterpersistentlyappearedtoberummagingamonghispapersandtobecontemptuouslyobliviousofhim。“AllowmetoexplainthatIhavebeenlivingwithherfornearlythreeyearsandatfirst…atfirst…forwhyshouldInotconfessit,attheverybeginningIpromisedtomarryherdaughter,itwasaverbalpromise,freelygiven…shewasagirl…indeed,Ilikedher,thoughIwasnotinlovewithher…ayouthfulaffairinfact…thatis,Imeantosay,thatmylandladygavemecreditfreelyinthosedays,andIledalifeof…Iwasveryheedless…”

  “Nobodyasksyouforthesepersonaldetails,sir,we’venotimetowaste,”IlyaPetrovitchinterposedroughlyandwithanoteoftriumph;butRaskolnikovstoppedhimhotly,thoughhesuddenlyfounditexceedinglydifficulttospeak。

  “Butexcuseme,excuseme。Itisformetoexplain…howitallhappened…Inmyturn…thoughIagreewithyou…itisunnecessary。Butayearago,thegirldiedoftyphus。Iremainedlodgingthereasbefore,andwhenmylandladymovedintoherpresentquarters,shesaidtome…andinafriendlyway…thatshehadcompletetrustinme,butstill,wouldInotgiveheranIOUforonehundredandfifteenroubles,allthedebtIowedher。ShesaidifonlyIgaveherthat,shewouldtrustmeagain,asmuchasIliked,andthatshewouldnever,never—thosewereherownwords—makeuseofthatIOUtillIcouldpayofmyself…andnow,whenIhavelostmylessonsandhavenothingtoeat,shetakesactionagainstme。WhatamItosaytothat?”

  “Alltheseaffectingdetailsarenobusinessofours。”IlyaPetrovitchinterruptedrudely。“Youmustgiveawrittenundertakingbutasforyourloveaffairsandallthesetragicevents,wehavenothingtodowiththat。”

  “Comenow…youareharsh,”mutteredNikodimFomitch,sittingdownatthetableandalsobeginningtowrite。Helookedalittleashamed。

  “Write!”saidtheheadclerktoRaskolnikov。

  “Writewhat?”thelatterasked,gruffly。

  “Iwilldictatetoyou。”

  Raskolnikovfanciedthattheheadclerktreatedhimmorecasuallyandcontemptuouslyafterhisspeech,butstrangetosayhesuddenlyfeltcompletelyindifferenttoanyone’sopinion,andthisrevulsiontookplaceinaflash,inoneinstant。Ifhehadcaredtothinkalittle,hewouldhavebeenamazedindeedthathecouldhavetalkedtothemlikethataminutebefore,forcinghisfeelingsuponthem。Andwherehadthosefeelingscomefrom?Nowifthewholeroomhadbeenfilled,notwithpoliceofficers,butwiththosenearestanddearesttohim,hewouldnothavefoundonehumanwordforthem,soemptywashisheart。Agloomysensationofagonising,everlastingsolitudeandremoteness,tookconsciousforminhissoul。ItwasnotthemeannessofhissentimentaleffusionsbeforeIlyaPetrovitch,northemeannessofthelatter’striumphoverhimthathadcausedthissuddenrevulsioninhisheart。Oh,whathadhetodonowwithhisownbaseness,withallthesepettyvanities,officers,Germanwomen,debts,police-offices?Ifhehadbeensentencedtobeburntatthatmoment,hewouldnothavestirred,wouldhardlyhaveheardthesentencetotheend。Somethingwashappeningtohimentirelynew,suddenandunknown。Itwasnotthatheunderstood,buthefeltclearlywithalltheintensityofsensationthathecouldnevermoreappealtothesepeopleinthepolice-officewithsentimentaleffusionslikehisrecentoutburst,orwithanythingwhatever;andthatiftheyhadbeenhisownbrothersandsistersandnotpolice-officers,itwouldhavebeenutterlyoutofthequestiontoappealtotheminanycircumstanceoflife。Hehadneverexperiencedsuchastrangeandawfulsensation。Andwhatwasmostagonising—itwasmoreasensationthanaconceptionoridea,adirectsensation,themostagonisingofallthesensationshehadknowninhislife。

  Theheadclerkbegandictatingtohimtheusualformofdeclaration,thathecouldnotpay,thatheundertooktodosoatafuturedate,thathewouldnotleavethetown,norsellhisproperty,andsoon。

  “Butyoucan’twrite,youcanhardlyholdthepen,”observedtheheadclerk,lookingwithcuriosityatRaskolnikov。“Areyouill?”

  “Yes,Iamgiddy。Goon!”

  “That’sall。Signit。”

  Theheadclerktookthepaper,andturnedtoattendtoothers。

  Raskolnikovgavebackthepen;butinsteadofgettingupandgoingaway,heputhiselbowsonthetableandpressedhisheadinhishands。Hefeltasifanailwerebeingdrivenintohisskull。Astrangeideasuddenlyoccurredtohim,togetupatonce,togouptoNikodimFomitch,andtellhimeverythingthathadhappenedyesterday,andthentogowithhimtohislodgingsandtoshowhimthethingsintheholeinthecorner。Theimpulsewassostrongthathegotupfromhisseattocarryitout。“Hadn’tIbetterthinkaminute?”flashedthroughhismind。“No,bettercastofftheburdenwithoutthinking。”Butallatoncehestoodstill,rootedtothespot。NikodimFomitchwastalkingeagerlywithIlyaPetrovitch,andthewordsreachedhim:

  “It’simpossible,they’llbothbereleased。Tobeginwith,thewholestorycontradictsitself。Whyshouldtheyhavecalledtheporter,ifithadbeentheirdoing?Toinformagainstthemselves?Orasablind?No,thatwouldbetoocunning!Besides,Pestryakov,thestudent,wasseenatthegatebyboththeportersandawomanashewentin。Hewaswalkingwiththreefriends,wholefthimonlyatthegate,andheaskedtheporterstodirecthim,inthepresenceofthefriends。Now,wouldhehaveaskedhiswayifhehadbeengoingwithsuchanobject?AsforKoch,hespenthalfanhouratthesilversmith’sbelow,beforehewentuptotheoldwomanandhelefthimatexactlyaquartertoeight。Nowjustconsider…”

  “Butexcuseme,howdoyouexplainthiscontradiction?Theystatethemselvesthattheyknockedandthedoorwaslocked;yetthreeminuteslaterwhentheywentupwiththeporter,itturnedoutthedoorwasunfastened。”

  “That’sjustit;themurderermusthavebeenthereandboltedhimselfin;andthey’dhavecaughthimforacertaintyifKochhadnotbeenanassandgonetolookfortheportertoo。Hemusthaveseizedtheintervaltogetdownstairsandslipbythemsomehow。Kochkeepscrossinghimselfandsaying:‘IfIhadbeenthere,hewouldhavejumpedoutandkilledmewithhisaxe。’Heisgoingtohaveathanksgivingservice—ha,ha!”

  “Andnoonesawthemurderer?”

  “Theymightwellnotseehim;thehouseisaregularNoah’sArk,”saidtheheadclerk,whowaslistening。

  “It’sclear,quiteclear,”NikodimFomitchrepeatedwarmly。

  “No,itisanythingbutclear,”IlyaPetrovitchmaintained。

  Raskolnikovpickeduphishatandwalkedtowardsthedoor,buthedidnotreachit。…

  Whenherecoveredconsciousness,hefoundhimselfsittinginachair,supportedbysomeoneontherightside,whilesomeoneelsewasstandingontheleft,holdingayellowishglassfilledwithyellowwater,andNikodimFomitchstandingbeforehim,lookingintentlyathim。Hegotupfromthechair。

  “What’sthis?Areyouill?”NikodimFomitchasked,rathersharply。

  “Hecouldhardlyholdhispenwhenhewassigning,”saidtheheadclerk,settlingbackinhisplace,andtakinguphisworkagain。

  “Haveyoubeenilllong?”criedIlyaPetrovitchfromhisplace,wherehe,too,waslookingthroughpapers。Hehad,ofcourse,cometolookatthesickmanwhenhefainted,butretiredatoncewhenherecovered。

  “Sinceyesterday,”mutteredRaskolnikovinreply。

  “Didyougooutyesterday?”

  “Yes。”

  “Thoughyouwereill?”

  “Yes。”

  “Atwhattime?”

  “Aboutseven。”

  “Andwheredidyougo,myIask?”

  “Alongthestreet。”

  “Shortandclear。”

  Raskolnikov,whiteasahandkerchief,hadansweredsharply,jerkily,withoutdroppinghisblackfeverisheyesbeforeIlyaPetrovitch’sstare。

  “Hecanscarcelystandupright。Andyou…”NikodimFomitchwasbeginning。

  “Nomatter,”IlyaPetrovitchpronouncedratherpeculiarly。

  NikodimFomitchwouldhavemadesomefurtherprotest,butglancingattheheadclerkwhowaslookingveryhardathim,hedidnotspeak。Therewasasuddensilence。Itwasstrange。

  “Verywell,then,”concludedIlyaPetrovitch,“wewillnotdetainyou。”

  Raskolnikovwentout。Hecaughtthesoundofeagerconversationonhisdeparture,andabovetherestrosethequestioningvoiceofNikodimFomitch。Inthestreet,hisfaintnesspassedoffcompletely。

  “Asearch—therewillbeasearchatonce,”herepeatedtohimself,hurryinghome。“Thebrutes!theysuspect。”

  Hisformerterrormasteredhimcompletelyagain。

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