MrKibblehadstaggeredup，withhislowerjawdropped，catchingPottersonbytheshoulder，andpointingtothehalf-door。Henowcriedout:\'Potterson！Look！Lookthere！\'Pottersonstartedup，startedback，andexclaimed:\'Heavendefendus，what\'sthat！\'
Bella\'shusbandsteppedbacktoBella，tookherinhisarmsforshewasterrifiedbytheunintelligibleterrorofthetwomen，andshutthedoorofthelittleroom。Ahurryofvoicessucceeded，inwhichMrInspector\'svoicewasbusiest；itgraduallyslackenedandsank；
andMrInspectorreappeared。\'Sharp\'stheword，sir！\'hesaid，lookinginwithaknowingwink。\'We\'llgetyourladyoutatonce。\'
Immediately，Bellaandherhusbandwereunderthestars，makingtheirwayback，alone，tothevehicletheyhadkeptinwaiting。
Allthiswasmostextraordinary，andBellacouldmakenothingofitbutthatJohnwasintheright。Howintheright，andhowsuspectedofbeinginthewrong，shecouldnotdivine。SomevagueideathathehadneverreallyassumedthenameofHandford，andthattherewasaremarkablelikenessbetweenhimandthatmysteriousperson，washernearestapproachtoanydefiniteexplanation。ButJohnwastriumphant；thatmuchwasmadeapparent；andshecouldwaitfortherest。
WhenJohncamehometodinnernextday，hesaid，sittingdownonthesofabyBellaandbaby-Bella:\'Mydear，Ihaveapieceofnewstotellyou。IhavelefttheChinaHouse。\'
Asheseemedtolikehavingleftit，Bellatookitforgrantedthattherewasnomisfortuneinthecase。
\'Inaword，mylove，\'saidJohn，\'theChinaHouseisbrokenupandabolished。Thereisnosuchthinganymore。\'
\'Then，areyoualreadyinanotherHouse，John?\'
\'Yes，mydarling。Iaminanotherwayofbusiness。AndIamratherbetteroff。\'
Theinexhaustiblebabywasinstantlymadetocongratulatehim，andtosay，withappropriateactiononthepartofaverylimparmandaspeckledfist:\'Threecheers，ladiesandgemplemorums。
Hoo——ray！\'
\'Iamafraid，mylife，\'saidJohn，\'thatyouhavebecomeverymuchattachedtothiscottage?\'
\'AfraidIhave，John?OfcourseIhave。\'
\'ThereasonwhyIsaidafraid，\'returnedJohn，\'is，becausewemustmove。\'
\'OJohn！\'
\'Yes，mydear，wemustmove。Wemusthaveourhead-quartersinLondonnow。Inshort，there\'sadwelling-houserent-free，attachedtomynewposition，andwemustoccupyit。\'
\'That\'sagain，John。\'
\'Yes，mydear，itisundoubtedlyagain。\'
Hegaveheraveryblithelook，andaveryslylook。Whichoccasionedtheinexhaustiblebabytosquareathimwiththespeckledfists，anddemandinathreateningmannerwhathemeant?
\'Mylove，yousaiditwasagain，andIsaiditwasagain。Averyinnocentremark，surely。\'
\'Iwon\'t，\'saidtheinexhaustiblebaby，\'——allow——you——to——make——
game——of——my——venerable——Ma。\'Ateachdivisionadministeringasoftfacerwithoneofthespeckledfists。
Johnhavingstoopeddowntoreceivethesepunishingvisitations，Bellaaskedhim，woulditbenecessarytomovesoon?Whyyes，indeedsaidJohn，hedidproposethattheyshouldmoveverysoon。Takingthefurniturewiththem，ofcourse?saidBella。
Why，nosaidJohn，thefactwas，thatthehousewas——inasortofakindofaway——furnishedalready。
Theinexhaustiblebaby，hearingthis，resumedtheoffensive，andsaid:\'Butthere\'snonurseryforme，sir。Whatdoyoumean，marble-heartedparent?\'Towhichthemarble-heartedparentrejoinedthattherewasa——sortofakindofa——nursery，anditmightbe\'madetodo\'。\'Madetodo?\'returnedtheInexhaustible，administeringmorepunishment，\'whatdoyoutakemefor?\'AndwasthenturnedoveronitsbackinBella\'slap，andsmotheredwithkisses。
\'Butreally，Johndear，\'saidBella，flushedinquitealovelymannerbytheseexercises，\'willthenewhouse，justasitstands，doforbaby?That\'sthequestion。\'
\'Ifeltthattobethequestion，\'hereturned，\'andthereforeIarrangedthatyoushouldcomewithmeandlookatit，to-morrowmorning。\'
Appointmentmade，accordingly，forBellatogoupwithhimto-
morrowmorning；Johnkissed；andBelladelighted。
WhentheyreachedLondoninpursuanceoftheirlittleplan，theytookcoachanddrovewestward。Notonlydrovewestward，butdroveintothatparticularwestwarddivision，whichBellahadseenlastwhensheturnedherfacefromMrBoffin\'sdoor。Notonlydroveintothatparticulardivision，butdroveatlastintothatverystreet。Notonlydroveintothatverystreet，butstoppedatlastatthatveryhouse。
\'Johndear！\'criedBella，lookingoutofwindowinaflutter。\'Doyouseewhereweare?\'
\'Yes，mylove。Thecoachman\'squiteright。\'
Thehouse-doorwasopenedwithoutanyknockingorringing，andJohnpromptlyhelpedherout。Theservantwhostoodholdingthedoor，askednoquestionofJohn，neitherdidhegobeforethemorfollowthemastheywentstraightup-stairs。Itwasonlyherhusband\'sencirclingarm，urgingheron，thatpreventedBellafromstoppingatthefootofthestaircase。Astheyascended，itwasseentobetastefullyornamentedwithmostbeautifulflowers。
\'OJohn！\'saidBella，faintly。\'Whatdoesthismean?\'
\'Nothing，mydarling，nothing。Letusgoon。\'
Goingonalittlehigher，theycametoacharmingaviary，inwhichanumberoftropicalbirds，moregorgeousincolourthantheflowers，wereflyingabout；andamongthosebirdsweregoldandsilverfish，andmosses，andwater-lilies，andafountain，andallmannerofwonders。
\'OmydearJohn！\'saidBella。\'Whatdoesthismean?\'
\'Nothing，mydarling，nothing。Letusgoon。\'
Theywenton，untiltheycametoadoor。AsJohnputouthishandtoopenit，Bellacaughthishand。
\'Idon\'tknowwhatitmeans，butit\'stoomuchforme。Holdme，John，love。\'
Johncaughtherupinhisarm，andlightlydashedintotheroomwithher。
BeholdMrandMrsBoffin，beaming！BeholdMrsBoffinclappingherhandsinanecstacy，runningtoBellawithtearsofjoypouringdownhercomelyface，andfoldinghertoherbreast，withthewords:\'Mydearydeary，dearygirl，thatNoddyandmesawmarriedandcouldn\'twishjoyto，orsomuchasspeakto！Mydeary，deary，deary，wifeofJohnandmotherofhislittlechild！Mylovingloving，brightbright，PrettyPretty！Welcometoyourhouseandhome，mydeary！\'
Chapter13
SHOWINGHOWTHEGOLDENDUSTMANHELPEDTOSCATTERDUST
Inallthefirstbewildermentofherwonder，themostbewilderinglywonderfulthingtoBellawastheshiningcountenanceofMrBoffin。Thathiswifeshouldbejoyous，open-hearted，andgenial，orthatherfaceshouldexpresseveryqualitythatwaslargeandtrusting，andnoqualitythatwaslittleormean，wasaccordantwithBella\'sexperience。But，thathe，withaperfectlybeneficentairandaplumprosyface，shouldbestandingthere，lookingatherandJohn，likesomejovialgoodspirit，wasmarvellous。For，howhadhelookedwhenshelastsawhiminthatveryroomitwastheroominwhichshehadgivenhimthatpieceofhermindatparting，andwhathadbecomeofallthosecrookedlinesofsuspicion，avarice，anddistrust，thattwistedhisvisagethen?
MrsBoffinseatedBellaonthelargeottoman，andseatedherselfbesideher，andJohnherhusbandseatedhimselfontheothersideofher，andMrBoffinstoodbeamingateveryoneandeverythinghecouldsee，withsurpassingjollityandenjoyment。MrsBoffinwasthentakenwithalaughingfitofclappingherhands，andclappingherknees，androckingherselftoandfro，andthenwithanotherlaughingfitofembracingBella，androckinghertoandfro——bothfits，ofconsiderableduration。
\'Oldlady，oldlady，\'saidMrBoffin，atlength；\'ifyoudon\'tbeginsomebodyelsemust。\'
\'I\'magoingtobegin，Noddy，mydear，\'returnedMrsBoffin。\'Onlyitisn\'teasyforapersontoknowwheretobegin，whenapersonisinthisstateofdelightandhappiness。Bella，mydear。Tellme，who\'sthis?\'
\'Whoisthis?\'repeatedBella。\'Myhusband。\'
\'Ah！Buttellmehisname，deary！\'criedMrsBoffin。
\'Rokesmith。\'
\'No，itain\'t！\'criedMrsBoffin，clappingherhands，andshakingherhead。\'Notabitofit。\'
\'Handfordthen，\'suggestedBella。
\'No，itain\'t！\'criedMrsBoffin，againclappingherhandsandshakingherhead。\'Notabitofit。\'
\'Atleast，hisnameisJohn，Isuppose?\'saidBella。
\'Ah！Ishouldthinkso，deary！\'criedMrsBoffin。\'Ishouldhopeso！
ManyandmanyisthetimeIhavecalledhimbyhisnameofJohn。
Butwhat\'shisothername，histrueothername?Giveaguess，mypretty！\'
\'Ican\'tguess，\'saidBella，turningherpalefacefromonetoanother。
\'Icould，\'criedMrsBoffin，\'andwhat\'smore，Idid！Ifoundhimout，allinaflashasImaysay，onenight。Didn\'tI，Noddy?\'
\'Ay！Thattheoldladydid！\'saidMrBoffin，withstoutprideinthecircumstance。
\'Harkeetome，deary，\'pursuedMrsBoffin，takingBella\'shandsbetweenherown，andgentlybeatingonthemfromtimetotime。\'ItwasafteraparticularnightwhenJohnhadbeendisappointed——ashethought——inhisaffections。ItwasafteranightwhenJohnhadmadeanoffertoacertainyounglady，andthecertainyoungladyhadrefusedit。Itwasafteraparticularnight，whenhefelthimselfcast-away-like，andhadmadeuphismindtogoseekhisfortune。
Itwastheverynextnight。MyNoddywantedapaperoutofhisSecretary\'sroom，andIsaystoNoddy，“Iamgoingbythedoor，andI\'llaskhimforit。”Itappedathisdoor，andhedidn\'thearme。
Ilookedin，andsawhimasittinglonelybyhisfire，broodingoverit。Hechancedtolookupwithapleasedkindofsmileinmycompanywhenhesawme，andtheninasinglemomenteverygrainofthegunpowderthathadbeenlyingsprinkledthickabouthimeversinceIfirstseteyesuponhimasamanattheBower，tookfire！ToomanyatimehadIseenhimsittinglonely，whenhewasapoorchild，tobepitied，heartandhand！ToomanyatimehadIseenhiminneedofbeingbrightenedupwithacomfortingword！Toomanyandtoomanyatimetobemistaken，whenthatglimpseofhimcomeatlast！No，no！Ijustmakesouttocry，“I
knowyounow！You\'reJohn！“AndhecatchesmeasIdrops——Sowhat，\'saysMrsBoffin，breakingoffintherushofherspeechtosmilemostradiantly，\'mightyouthinkbythistimethatyourhusband\'snamewas，dear?\'
\'Not，\'returnedBella，withquiveringlips；\'notHarmon?That\'snotpossible?\'
\'Don\'ttremble。Whynotpossible，deary，whensomanythingsarepossible?\'demandedMrsBoffin，inasoothingtone。
\'Hewaskilled，\'gaspedBella。
\'Thoughttobe，\'saidMrsBoffin。\'ButifeverJohnHarmondrewthebreathoflifeonearth，thatiscertainlyJohnHarmon\'sarmroundyourwaistnow，mypretty。IfeverJohnHarmonhadawifeonearth，thatwifeiscertainlyyou。IfeverJohnHarmonandhiswifehadachildonearth，thatchildiscertainlythis。\'
Byamaster-strokeofsecretarrangement，theinexhaustiblebabyhereappearedatthedoor，suspendedinmid-airbyinvisibleagency。MrsBoffin，plungingatit，broughtittoBella\'slap，wherebothMrsandMrBoffinasthesayingis\'tookitoutof\'theInexhaustibleinashowerofcaresses。ItwasonlythistimelyappearancethatkeptBellafromswooning。This，andherhusband\'searnestnessinexplainingfurthertoherhowithadcometopassthathehadbeensupposedtobeslain，andhadevenbeensuspectedofhisownmurder；also，howhehadputapiousfrauduponherwhichhadpreyeduponhismind，asthetimeforitsdisclosureapproached，lestshemightnotmakefullallowancefortheobjectwithwhichithadoriginated，andinwhichithadfullydeveloped。
\'Butblessye，mybeauty！\'criedMrsBoflin，takinghimupshortatthispoint，withanotherheartyclapofherhands。\'Itwasn\'tJohnonlythatwasinit。Wewasallofusinit。\'
\'Idon\'t，\'saidBella，lookingvacantlyfromonetoanother，\'yetunderstand——\'
\'Ofcourseyoudon\'t，mydeary，\'exclaimedMrsBoffin。\'Howcanyoutillyou\'retold！SonowIamagoingtotellyou。Soyouputyourtwohandsbetweenmytwohandsagain，\'criedthecomfortablecreature，embracingher，\'withthatblessedlittlepicterlyingonyourlap，andyoushallbetoldallthestory。Now，I\'magoingtotellthestory。Once，twice，threetimes，andthehorsesisoff。Heretheygo！WhenIcriesoutthatnight，“Iknowyounow，you\'reJohn！“——whichwasmyexactwords；wasn\'tthey，John?\'
\'Yourexactwords，\'saidJohn，layinghishandonhers。
\'That\'saverygoodarrangement，\'criedMrsBoffin。\'Keepitthere，John。Andaswewasallofusinit，Noddyyoucomeandlayyoursatopofhis，andwewon\'tbreakthepiletillthestory\'sdone。\'
MrBoffinhitchedupachair，andaddedhisbroadbrownrighthandtotheheap。
\'That\'scapital！\'saidMrsBoffin，givingitakiss。\'Seemsquiteafamilybuilding；don\'tit?Butthehorsesisoff。Well！WhenI
criesoutthatnight，“Iknowyounow！you\'reJohn！“Johncatchesofme，itistrue；butIain\'talightweight，blessye，andhe\'sforcedtoletmedown。Noddy，hehearsanoise，andinhetrots，andassoonasIanywayscomestomyselfIcallstohim，“Noddy，wellI
mightsayasIdidsay，thatnightattheBower，fortheLordbethankfulthisisJohn！“Onwhichhegivesaheave，anddownhegoeslikewise，withhisheadunderthewriting-table。Thisbringsmeroundcomfortable，andthatbringshimroundcomfortable，andthenJohnandhimandmeweallfallacryingforjoy。\'
\'Yes！Theycryforjoy，mydarling，\'herhusbandstruckin。\'Youunderstand?Thesetwo，whomIcometolifetodisappointanddispossess，cryforjoy！\'
Bellalookedathimconfusedly，andlookedagainatMrsBoffin\'sradiantface。
\'That\'sright，mydear，don\'tyoumindhim，\'saidMrsBoffin，\'sticktome。Well！Thenwesitsdown，graduallygetscool，andholdsaconfabulation。John，hetellsushowheisdespairinginhismindonaccountsofacertainfairyoungperson，andhow，ifIhadn\'tfoundhimout，hewasgoingawaytoseekhisfortunefarandwide，andhadfullymeantnevertocometolife，buttoleavethepropertyasourwrongfulinheritanceforeverandaday。AtwhichyouneverseeamansofrightenedasmyNoddywas。Fortothinkthatheshouldhavecomeintothepropertywrongful，howeverinnocent，and——morethanthat——mighthavegoneonkeepingittohisdyingday，turnedhimwhiterthanchalk。\'
\'Andyoutoo，\'saidMrBoffin。
\'Don\'tyoumindhim，neither，mydeary，\'resumedMrsBoffin；
\'sticktome。Thisbringsupaconfabulationregardingthecertainfairyoungperson；whenNoddyhegivesitashisopinionthatsheisadearycreetur。“Shemaybealeetlespoilt，andnat\'rallyspoilt，“
hesays，“bycircumstances，butthat\'sonlythesurface，andIlaymylife，“hesays，“thatshe\'sthetruegoldengoldatheart。”
\'Sodidyou，\'saidMrBoffin。
\'Don\'tyoumindhimasinglemorsel，mydear，\'proceededMrsBoffin，\'butsticktome。ThensaysJohn，O，ifhecouldbutproveso！Thenwebothofusupsandsays，thatminute，“Proveso！“\'
Withastart，BelladirectedahurriedglancetowardsMrBoffin。
But，hewassittingthoughtfullysmilingatthatbroadbrownhandofhis，andeitherdidn\'tseeit，orwouldtakenonoticeofit。
\'“Proveit，John！“wesays，\'repeatedMrsBoffin。\'“Proveitandovercomeyourdoubtswithtriumph，andbehappyforthefirsttimeinyourlife，andfortherestofyourlife。”ThisputsJohninastate，tobesure。Thenwesays，“Whatwillcontentyou?Ifshewastostandupforyouwhenyouwasslighted，ifshewastoshowherselfofagenerousmindwhenyouwasoppressed，ifshewastobetruesttoyouwhenyouwaspoorestandfriendliest，andallthisagainstherownseeminginterest，howwouldthatdo?““Do?“saysJohn，“itwouldraisemetotheskies。”“Then，“saysmyNoddy，“makeyourpreparationsfortheascent，John，itbeingmyfirmbeliefthatupyougo！“\'
BellacaughtMrBoffin\'stwinklingeyeforhalfaninstant；buthegotitawayfromher，andrestoredittohisbroadbrownhand。
\'Fromthefirst，youwasalwaysaspecialfavouriteofNoddy\'s，\'saidMrsBoffin，shakingherhead。\'Oyouwere！AndifIhadbeeninclinedtobejealous，Idon\'tknowwhatImightn\'thavedonetoyou。ButasIwasn\'t——why，mybeauty，\'withaheartylaughandanembrace，\'Imadeyouaspecialfavouriteofmyowntoo。Butthehorsesiscomingroundthecorner。Well！ThensaysmyNoddy，shakinghissidestillhewasfittomake\'emacheagain:“Lookoutforbeingslightedandoppressed，John，forifeveramanhadahardmaster，youshallfindmefromthispresenttimetobesuchtoyou。Andthenhebegan！\'criedMrsBoffin，inanecstacyofadmiration。\'Lordblessyou，thenhebegan！AndhowheDID
begin；didn\'the！\'
Bellalookedhalffrightened，andyethalflaughed。
\'But，blessyou，\'pursuedMrsBoffin，\'ifyoucouldhaveseenhimofanight，atthattimeofit！Thewayhe\'dsitandchuckleoverhimself！Thewayhe\'dsay“I\'vebeenaregularbrownbearto-day，“
andtakehimselfinhisarmsandhughimselfatthethoughtsofthebrutehehadpretended。Buteverynighthesaystome:“Betterandbetter，oldlady。Whatdidwesayofher?She\'llcomethroughit，thetruegoldengold。This\'llbethehappiestpieceofworkweeverdone。”Andthenhe\'dsay，“I\'llbeagrislieroldgrowlerto-
morrow！“andlaugh，hewould，tillJohnandmewasoftenforcedtoslaphisback，andbringitoutofhiswindpipeswithalittlewater。\'
MrBoffin，withhisfacebentoverhisheavyhand，madenosound，butrolledhisshoulderswhenthusreferredto，asifhewerevastlyenjoyinghimself。
\'Andso，mygoodandpretty，\'pursuedMrsBoffin，\'youwasmarried，andtherewaswehidupinthechurch-organbythishusbandofyours；forhewouldn\'tletusoutwithitthen，aswasfirstmeant。“No，“hesays，“she\'ssounselfishandcontented，thatIcan\'taffordtoberichyet。Imustwaitalittlelonger。”Then，whenbabywasexpected，hesays，“Sheissuchacheerful，glorioushousewifethatIcan\'taffordtoberichyet。Imustwaitalittlelonger。”Thenwhenbabywasborn，hesays，“Sheissomuchbetterthansheeverwas，thatIcan\'taffordtoberichyet。Imustwaitalittlelonger。”Andsohegoesonandon，tillIsaysoutright，“Now，John，ifyoudon\'tfixatimeforsettingherupinherownhouseandhome，andlettinguswalkoutofit，I\'llturnInformer。”
Thenhesayshe\'llonlywaittotriumphbeyondwhatweeverthoughtpossible，andtoshowhertousbetterthanevenweeversupposed；andhesays，“Sheshallseemeundersuspicionofhavingmurderedmyself，andYOUshallseehowtrustingandhowtrueshe\'llbe。”Well！Noddyandmeagreedtothat，andhewasright，andhereyouare，andthehorsesisin，andthestoryisdone，andGodblessyoumyBeauty，andGodblessusall！\'
Thepileofhandsdispersed，andBellaandMrsBoffintookagoodlonghugofoneanother:totheapparentperiloftheinexhaustiblebaby，lyingstaringinBella\'slap。
\'ButISthestorydone?\'saidBella，pondering。\'Istherenomoreofit?\'
\'Whatmoreofitshouldtherebe，deary?\'returnedMrsBoffin，fullofglee。
\'Areyousureyouhaveleftnothingoutofit?\'askedBella。
\'Idon\'tthinkIhave，\'saidMrsBoffin，archly。
\'Johndear，\'saidBella，\'you\'reagoodnurse；willyoupleaseholdbaby?\'HavingdepositedtheInexhaustibleinhisarmswiththosewords，BellalookedhardatMrBoffin，whohadmovedtoatablewherehewasleaninghisheaduponhishandwithhisfaceturnedaway，and，quietlysettlingherselfonherkneesathisside，anddrawingonearmoverhisshoulder，said:\'PleaseIbegyourpardon，andImadeasmallmistakeofawordwhenItookleaveofyoulast。PleaseIthinkyouarebetternotworsethanHopkins，betternotworsethanDancer，betternotworsethanBlackberryJones，betternotworsethananyofthem！Pleasesomethingmore！\'criedBella，withanexultantringinglaughasshestruggledwithhimandforcedhimtoturnhisdelightedfacetohers。\'PleaseIhavefoundoutsomethingnotyetmentioned。PleaseIdon\'tbelieveyouareahard-heartedmiseratall，andpleaseIdon\'tbelieveyoueverforonesingleminutewere！\'
Atthis，MrsBoffinfairlyscreamedwithrapture，andsatbeatingherfeetuponthefloor，clappingherhands，andbobbingherselfbackwardsandforwards，likeadementedmemberofsomeMandarin\'sfamily。
\'O，Iunderstandyounow，sir！\'criedBella。\'Iwantneitheryounoranyoneelsetotellmetherestofthestory。IcantellittoYOU，now，ifyouwouldliketohearit。\'
\'Canyou，mydear?\'saidMrBoffin。\'Tellitthen。\'
\'What?\'criedBella，holdinghimprisonerbythecoatwithbothhands。\'Whenyousawwhatagreedylittlewretchyouwerethepatronof，youdeterminedtoshowherhowmuchmisusedandmisprizedrichescoulddo，andoftenhaddone，tospoilpeople；didyou?NotcaringwhatshethoughtofyouandGoodnessknowsTHATwasofnoconsequence！youshowedher，inyourself，themostdetestablesidesofwealth，sayinginyourownmind，“Thisshallowcreaturewouldneverworkthetruthoutofherownweaksoul，ifshehadahundredyearstodoitin；butaglaringinstancekeptbeforehermayopenevenhereyesandsetherthinking。”Thatwaswhatyousaidtoyourself，wasit，sir?\'
\'Ineversaidanythingofthesort，\'MrBoffindeclaredinastateofthehighestenjoyment。
\'Thenyououghttohavesaidit，sir，\'returnedBella，givinghimtwopullsandonekiss，\'foryoumusthavethoughtandmeantit。Yousawthatgoodfortunewasturningmystupidheadandhardeningmysillyheart——wasmakingmegrasping，calculating，insolent，insufferable——andyoutookthepainstobethedearestandkindestfingerpostthateverwassetupanywhere，pointingouttheroadthatIwastakingandtheenditledto。Confessinstantly！\'
\'John，\'saidMrBoffin，onebroadpieceofsunshinefromheadtofoot，\'Iwishyou\'dhelpmeoutofthis。\'
\'Youcan\'tbeheardbycounsel，sir，\'returnedBella。\'Youmustspeakforyourself。Confessinstantly！\'
\'Well，mydear，\'saidMrBoffin，\'thetruthis，thatwhenwedidgoinforthelittleschemethatmyoldladyhaspintedout，IdidputittoJohn，whatdidhethinkofgoinginforsomesuchgeneralschemeasYOUhavepintedout?ButIdidn\'tinanywaysowordit，becauseIdidn\'tinanywaysomeanit。IonlysaidtoJohn，wouldn\'titbemoreconsistent，megoinginforbeingareg\'larbrownbearrespectinghim，togoinasareg\'larbrownbearallround?\'
\'Confessthisminute，sir，\'saidBella，\'thatyoudidittocorrectandamendme！\'
\'Certainly，mydearchild，\'saidMrBoffin，\'Ididn\'tdoittoharmyou；youmaybesureofthat。AndIdidhopeitmightjusthintacaution。Still，itoughttobementionedthatnosoonerhadmyoldladyfoundoutJohn，thanJohnmadeknowntoherandmethathehadhadhiseyeuponathanklesspersonbythenameofSilasWegg。PartlyforthepunishmentofwhichWegg，byleadinghimoninaveryunhandsomeandunderhandedgamethathewasplaying，thembooksthatyouandmeboughtsomanyoftogetherand，by-the-by，mydear，hewasn\'tBlackberryJones，butBlewberrywasreadaloudtomebythatpersonofthenameofSilasWeggaforesaid。\'
Bella，whowasstillonherkneesatMrBoffin\'sfeet，graduallysankdownintoasittingpostureontheground，asshemeditatedmoreandmorethoughtfully，withhereyesuponhisbeamingface。
\'Still，\'saidBella，afterthismeditativepause，\'thereremaintwothingsthatIcannotunderstand。MrsBoffinneversupposedanypartofthechangeinMrBoffintobereal；didshe?——Youneverdid；
didyou?\'askedBella，turningtoher。
\'No！\'returnedMrsBoffin，withamostrotundandglowingnegative。
\'Andyetyoutookitverymuchtoheart，\'saidBella。\'Irememberitsmakingyouveryuneasy，indeed。\'
\'Ecod，youseeMrsJohnhasasharpeye，John！\'criedMrBoffin，shakinghisheadwithanadmiringair。\'You\'reright，mydear。
Theoldladynearlyblowedusintoshiversandsmithers，manytimes。\'
\'Why?\'askedBella。\'Howdidthathappen，whenshewasinyoursecret?\'
\'Why，itwasaweaknessintheoldlady，\'saidMrBoffin；\'andyet，totellyouthewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth，I\'mratherproudofit。Mydear，theoldladythinkssohighofmethatshecouldn\'tabeartoseeandhearmecomingoutasareg\'larbrownone。Couldn\'tabeartomake-believeasImeantit！Inconsequenceofwhich，wewaseverlastinglyindangerwithher。\'
MrsBoffinlaughedheartilyatherself；butacertainglisteninginherhonesteyesrevealedthatshewasbynomeanscuredofthatdangerouspropensity。
\'Iassureyou，mydear，\'saidMrBoffin，\'thatonthecelebrateddaywhenImadewhathassincebeenagreedupontobemygrandestdemonstration——IalludetoMewsaysthecat，Quackquacksaystheduck，andBow-wow-wowsaysthedog——Iassureyou，mydear，thatonthatcelebratedday，themflintyandunbelivingwordshitmyoldladysohardonmyaccount，thatIhadtoholdher，topreventherrunningoutafteryou，anddefendingmebysayingI
wasplayingapart。\'
MrsBoffinlaughedheartilyagain，andhereyesglistenedagain，anditthenappeared，notonlythatinthatburstofsarcasticeloquenceMrBoffinwasconsideredbyhistwofellow-
conspiratorstohaveoutdonehimself，butthatinhisownopinionitwasaremarkableachievement。\'Neverthoughtofitaforethemoment，mydear！\'heobservedtoBella。\'WhenJohnsaid，ifhehadbeensohappyastowinyouraffectionsandpossessyourheart，itcomeintomyheadtoturnrounduponhimwith“Winheraffectionsandpossessherheart！Mewsaysthecat，Quackquacksaystheduck，andBow-wow-wowsaysthedog。”Icouldn\'ttellyouhowitcomeintomyheadorwherefrom，butithadsomuchthesoundofarasperthatIowntoyouitastonishedmyself。Iwasawfulnighburstingoutalaughingthough，whenitmadeJohnstare！\'
\'Yousaid，mypretty，\'MrsBoffinremindedBella，\'thattherewasoneotherthingyoucouldn\'tunderstand。\'
\'Oyes！\'criedBella，coveringherfacewithherhands；\'butthatI
nevershallbeabletounderstandaslongasIlive。Itis，howJohncouldlovemesowhenIsolittledeservedit，andhowyou，MrandMrsBoffin，couldbesoforgetfulofyourselves，andtakesuchpainsandtrouble，tomakemealittlebetter，andafteralltohelphimtosounworthyawife。ButIamveryverygrateful。\'
ItwasJohnHarmon\'sturnthen——JohnHarmonnowforgood，andJohnRokesmithfornevermore——topleadwithherquiteunnecessarilyinbehalfofhisdeception，andtotellher，overandoveragain，thatithadbeenprolongedbyherownwinninggracesinhersupposedstationoflife。Thisledontomanyinterchangesofendearmentandenjoymentonallsides，inthemidstofwhichtheInexhaustiblebeingobservedstaring，inamostimbecilemanner，onMrsBoffin\'sbreast，waspronouncedtobesupernaturallyintelligentastothewholetransaction，andwasmadetodeclaretotheladiesandgemplemorums，withawaveofthespeckledfistwithdifficultydetachedfromanexceedinglyshortwaist，\'IhavealreadyinformedmyvenerableMathatIknowallaboutit！\'
Then，saidJohnHarmon，wouldMrsJohnHarmoncomeandseeherhouse?Andadaintyhouseitwas，andatastefullybeautiful；
andtheywentthroughitinprocession；theInexhaustibleonMrsBoffin\'sbosomstillstaringoccupyingthemiddlestation，andMrBoffinbringinguptherear。AndonBella\'sexquisitetoilettetablewasanivorycasket，andinthecasketwerejewelsthelikeofwhichshehadneverdreamedof，andaloftonanupperfloorwasanurserygarnishedaswithrainbows；\'thoughwewerehardputtoit，\'saidJohnHarmon，\'togetitdoneinsoshortatime。
Thehouseinspected，emissariesremovedtheInexhaustible，whowasshortlyafterwardsheardscreamingamongtherainbows；
whereuponBellawithdrewherselffromthepresenceandknowledgeofgemplemorums，andthescreamingceased，andsmilingPeaceassociatedherselfwiththatyoungolivebranch。
\'Comeandlookin，Noddy！\'saidMrsBoffintoMrBoffin。
MrBoffin，submittingtobeledontiptoetothenurserydoor，lookedinwithimmensesatisfaction，althoughtherewasnothingtoseebutBellainamusingstateofhappiness，seatedinalittlelowchairuponthehearth，withherchildinherfairyoungarms，andhersofteyelashesshadinghereyesfromthefire。
\'Itlooksasiftheoldman\'sspirithadfoundrestatlast；don\'tit?\'
saidMrsBoffin。
\'Yes，oldlady。\'
\'Andasifhismoneyhadturnedbrightagain，afteralonglongrustinthedark，andwasatlastabeginningtosparkleinthesunlight?\'
\'Yes，oldlady。\'
\'Anditmakesaprettyandapromisingpicter；don\'tit?\'
\'Yes，oldlady。\'
But，awareattheinstantofafineopeningforapoint，MrBoffinquenchedthatobservationinthis——deliveredinthegrisliestgrowlingoftheregularbrownbear。\'Aprettyandahopefulpicter?
Mew，Quackquack，Bow-wow！\'Andthentrottedsilentlydownstairs，withhisshouldersinastateoftheliveliestcommotion。
Chapter14
CHECKMATETOTHEFRIENDLYMOVE
MrandMrsJohnHarmonhadsotimedtheirtakingpossessionoftheirrightfulnameandtheirLondonhouse，thattheeventbefelontheverydaywhenthelastwaggon-loadofthelastMoundwasdrivenoutatthegatesofBoffin\'sBower。Asitjoltedaway，MrWeggfeltthatthelastloadwascorrespondinglyremovedfromhismind，andhailedtheauspiciousseasonwhenthatblacksheep，Boffin，wastobecloselysheared。
OverthewholeslowprocessoflevellingtheMounds，Silashadkeptwatchwithrapaciouseyes。But，eyesnolessrapacioushadwatchedthegrowthoftheMoundsinyearsbygone，andhadvigilantlysiftedthedustofwhichtheywerecomposed。Novaluablesturnedup。Howshouldtherebeany，seeingthattheoldhardjailerofHarmonyJailhadcoinedeverywaifandstrayintomoney，longbefore?
Thoughdisappointedbythisbareresult，MrWeggfelttoosensiblyrelievedbythecloseofthelabour，togrumbletoanygreatextent。
Aforeman-representativeofthedustcontractors，purchasersoftheMounds，hadwornMrWeggdowntoskinandbone。Thissupervisoroftheproceedings，assertinghisemployers\'rightstocartoffbydaylight，nightlight，torchlight，whentheywould，musthavebeenthedeathofSilasiftheworkhadlastedmuchlonger。
Seemingnevertoneedsleephimself，hewouldreappear，withatied-upbrokenhead，infantailhatandvelveteensmalls，likeanaccursedgoblin，atthemostunholyanduntimelyhours。Tiredoutbykeepingclosewardoveralongday\'sworkinfogandrain，Silaswouldhavejustcrawledtobedandbedozing，whenahorridshakeandrumbleunderhispillowwouldannounceanapproachingtrainofcarts，escortedbythisDemonofUnrest，tofalltoworkagain。Atanothertime，hewouldberumbledupoutofhissoundestsleep，inthedeadofthenight；atanother，wouldbekeptathisposteight-and-fortyhoursonend。Themorehispersecutorbesoughthimnottotroublehimselftoturnout，themoresuspiciouswasthecraftyWeggthatindicationshadbeenobservedofsomethinghiddensomewhere，andthatattemptswereonfoottocircumventhim。Socontinuallybrokenwashisrestthroughthesemeans，thatheledthelifeofhavingwageredtokeeptenthousanddog-watchesintenthousandhours，andlookedpiteouslyuponhimselfasalwaysgettingupandyetnevergoingtobed。Sogauntandhaggardhadhegrownatlast，thathiswoodenlegshoweddisproportionate，andpresentedathrivingappearanceincontrastwiththerestofhisplaguedbody，whichmightalmosthavebeentermedchubby。
However，Wegg\'scomfortwas，thatallhisdisagreeableswerenowover，andthathewasimmediatelycomingintohisproperty。Oflate，thegrindstonedidundoubtedlyappeartohavebeenwhirlingathisownnoseratherthanBoffin\'s，butBoffin\'snosewasnowtobesharpenedfine。Thusfar，MrWegghadlethisdustyfriendofflightly，havingbeenbaulkedinthatamiabledesignoffrequentlydiningwithhim，bythemachinationsofthesleeplessdustman。HehadbeenconstrainedtodeputeMrVenustokeeptheirdustyfriend，Boffin，underinspection，whilehehimselfturnedlankandleanattheBower。
ToMrVenus\'smuseumMrWeggrepairedwhenatlengththeMoundsweredownandgone。Itbeingevening，hefoundthatgentleman，asheexpected，seatedoverhisfire；butdidnotfindhim，asheexpected，floatinghispowerfulmindintea。
\'Why，yousmellrathercomfortablehere！\'saidWegg，seemingtotakeitill，andstoppingandsniffingasheentered。
\'IAMrathercomfortable，sir，\'saidVenus。
\'Youdon\'tuselemoninyourbusiness，doyou?\'askedWegg，sniffingagain。
\'No，MrWegg，\'saidVenus。\'WhenIuseitatall，Imostlyuseitincobblers\'punch。\'
\'Whatdoyoucallcobblers\'punch?\'demandedWegg，inaworsehumourthanbefore。
\'It\'sdifficulttoimpartthereceiptforit，sir，\'returnedVenus，\'because，howeverparticularyoumaybeinallottingyourmaterials，somuchwillstilldependupontheindividualgifts，andtherebeingafeelingthrownintoit。Butthegroundworkisgin。\'
\'InaDutchbottle?\'saidWegggloomily，ashesathimselfdown。
\'Verygood，sir，verygood！\'criedVenus。\'Willyoupartake，sir?\'
\'WillIpartake?\'returnedWeggverysurlily。\'Why，ofcourseI
will！WILLamanpartake，ashasbeentormentedoutofhisfivesensesbyaneverlastingdustmanwithhisheadtiedup！WILLhe，too！Asifhewouldn\'t！\'
\'Don\'tletitputyouout，MrWegg。Youdon\'tseeminyourusualspirits。\'
\'Ifyoucometothat，youdon\'tseeminyourusualspirits，\'growledWegg。\'Youseemtobesettingupforlively。\'
Thiscircumstanceappeared，inhisthenstateofmind，togiveMrWegguncommonoffence。
\'Andyou\'vebeenhavingyourhaircut！\'saidWegg，missingtheusualdustyshock。
\'Yes，MrWegg。Butdon\'tletthatputyouout，either。\'
\'AndIamblestifyouain\'tgettingfat！\'saidWegg，withculminatingdiscontent。\'Whatareyougoingtodonext?\'
\'Well，MrWegg，\'saidVenus，smilinginasprightlymanner，\'I
suspectyoucouldhardlyguesswhatIamgoingtodonext。\'
\'Idon\'twanttoguess，\'retortedWegg。\'AllI\'vegottosayis，thatit\'swellforyouthatthediwisionoflabourhasbeenwhatithasbeen。It\'swellforyoutohavehadsolightapartinthisbusiness，whenminehasbeensoheavy。Youhaven\'thadYOURrestbroke，I\'llbebound。\'
\'Notatall，sir，\'saidVenus。\'Neverrestedsowellinallmylife，I
thankyou。\'
\'Ah！\'grumbledWegg，\'youshouldhavebeenme。Ifyouhadbeenme，andhadbeenfrettedoutofyourbed，andyoursleep，andyourmeals，andyourmind，forastretchofmonthstogether，you\'dhavebeenoutofconditionandoutofsorts。\'
\'Certainly，ithastrainedyoudown，MrWegg，\'saidVenus，contemplatinghisfigurewithanartist\'seye。\'Trainedyoudownverylow，ithas！Soweazenandyellowisthekiveringuponyourbones，thatonemightalmostfancyyouhadcometogivealook-inupontheFrenchgentlemaninthecorner，insteadofme。\'
MrWegg，glancingingreatdudgeontowardstheFrenchgentleman\'scorner，seemedtonoticesomethingnewthere，whichinducedhimtoglanceattheoppositecorner，andthentoputonhisglassesandstareatallthenooksandcornersofthedimshopinsuccession。
\'Why，you\'vebeenhavingtheplacecleanedup！\'heexclaimed。
\'Yes，MrWegg。Bythehandofadorablewoman。\'
\'Thenwhatyou\'regoingtodonext，Isuppose，istogetmarried?\'
\'That\'sit，sir。\'
Silastookoffhisglassesagain——findinghimselftoointenselydisgustedbythesprightlyappearanceofhisfriendandpartnertobearamagnifiedviewofhimandmadetheinquiry:
\'Totheoldparty?\'
\'MrWegg！\'saidVenus，withasuddenflushofwrath。\'Theladyinquestionisnotaoldparty。\'
\'Imeant，\'exclaimedWegg，testily，\'tothepartyasformerlyobjected?\'
\'MrWegg，\'saidVenus，\'inacaseofsomuchdelicacy，Imusttroubleyoutosaywhatyoumean。Therearestringsthatmustnotbeplayedupon。Nosir！Notsounded，unlessinthemostrespectfulandtunefulmanner。OfsuchmelodiousstringsisMissPleasantRiderhoodformed。\'
\'ThenitIStheladyasformerlyobjected?\'saidWegg。
\'Sir，\'returnedVenuswithdignity，\'Iacceptthealteredphrase。Itistheladyasformerlyobjected。\'
\'Whenisittocomeoff?\'askedSilas。
\'MrWegg，\'saidVenus，withanotherflush。\'IcannotpermitittobeputintheformofaFight。Imusttemperatelybutfirmlycalluponyou，sir，toamendthatquestion。\'
\'Whenisthelady，\'Weggreluctantlydemanded，constraininghisilltemperinremembranceofthepartnershipanditsstockintrade，\'agoingtogiveher\'andwhereshehasalreadygivenher\'art?\'
\'Sir，\'returnedVenus，\'Iagainacceptthealteredphrase，andwithpleasure。Theladyisagoingtogiveher\'andwhereshehasalreadygivenher\'art，nextMonday。\'
\'Thenthelady\'sobjectionhasbeenmet?\'saidSilas。
\'MrWegg，\'saidVenus，\'asIdidnametoyou，Ithink，onaformeroccasion，ifnotonformeroccasions——\'
\'Onformeroccasions，\'interruptedWegg。
\'——What，\'pursuedVenus，\'whatthenatureofthelady\'sobjectionwas，Imayimpart，withoutviolatinganyofthetenderconfidencessincesprungupbetweentheladyandmyself，howithasbeenmet，throughthekindinterferenceoftwogoodfriendsofmine:one，previouslyacquaintedwiththelady:andone，not。Thepintwasthrownout，sir，bythosetwofriendswhentheydidmethegreatserviceofwaitingontheladytotryifaunionbetwixttheladyandmecouldnotbebroughttobear——thepint，Isay，wasthrownoutbythem，sir，whetherif，aftermarriage，Iconfinedmyselftothearticulationofmen，children，andtheloweranimals，itmightnotrelievethelady\'smindofherfeelingrespectingbeingasalady——
regardedinabonylight。Itwasahappythought，sir，andittookroot。\'
\'Itwouldseem，MrVenus，\'observedWegg，withatouchofdistrust，\'thatyouareflushoffriends?\'
\'Prettywell，sir，\'thatgentlemananswered，inatoneofplacidmystery。\'So-so，sir。Prettywell。\'
\'However，\'saidWegg，aftereyeinghimwithanothertouchofdistrust，\'Iwishyoujoy。Onemanspendshisfortuneinoneway，andanotherinanother。Youaregoingtotrymatrimony。Imeantotrytravelling。\'
\'Indeed，MrWegg?\'
\'Changeofair，sea-scenery，andmynaturalrest，IhopemaybringmeroundafterthepersecutionsIhaveundergonefromthedustmanwithhisheadtiedup，whichIjustnowmentioned。ThetoughjobbeingendedandtheMoundslaidlow，thehouriscomeforBoffintostumpup。Wouldtento-morrowmorningsuityou，partner，forfinallybringingBoffin\'snosetothegrindstone?\'
Tento-morrowmorningwouldquitesuitMrVenusforthatexcellentpurpose。
\'Youhavehadhimwellunderinspection，Ihope?\'saidSilas。
MrVenushadhadhimunderinspectionprettywelleveryday。
\'Supposeyouwasjusttosteproundto-nightthen，andgivehimordersfromme——Isayfromme，becauseheknowsIwon\'tbeplayedwith——tobereadywithhispapers，hisaccounts，andhiscash，atthattimeinthemorning?\'saidWegg。\'Andasamatterofform，whichwillbeagreeabletoyourownfeelings，beforewegooutforI\'llwalkwithyoupartoftheway，thoughmyleggivesundermewithweariness，let\'shavealookatthestockintrade。\'
MrVenusproducedit，anditwasperfectlycorrect；MrVenusundertooktoproduceitagaininthemorning，andtokeeptrystwithMrWeggonBoffin\'sdoorstepastheclockstruckten。AtacertainpointoftheroadbetweenClerkenwellandBoffin\'shouseMrWeggexpresslyinsistedthatthereshouldbenoprefixtotheGoldenDustman\'snamethepartnersseparatedforthenight。
Itwasaverybadnight；towhichsucceededaverybadmorning。
Thestreetsweresounusuallyslushy，muddy，andmiserable，inthemorning，thatWeggrodetothesceneofaction；arguingthatamanwhowas，asitwere，goingtotheBanktodrawoutahandsomeproperty，couldwellaffordthattriflingexpense。
Venuswaspunctual，andWeggundertooktoknockatthedoor，andconducttheconference。Doorknockedat。Dooropened。
\'Boffinathome?\'
TheservantrepliedthatMRBoffinwasathome。
\'He\'lldo，\'saidWegg，\'thoughitain\'twhatIcallhim。\'
Theservantinquirediftheyhadanyappointment?
\'Now，Itellyouwhat，youngfellow，\'saidWegg，\'Iwon\'thaveit。
Thiswon\'tdoforme。Idon\'twantmenials。IwantBoffin。\'
Theywereshownintoawaiting-room，wheretheall-powerfulWeggworehishat，andwhistled，andwithhisforefingerstirredupaclockthatstooduponthechimneypiece，untilhemadeitstrike。
InafewminutestheywereshownupstairsintowhatusedtobeBoffin\'sroom；which，besidesthedoorofentrance，hadfolding-
doorsinit，tomakeitoneofasuiteofroomswhenoccasionrequired。Here，Boffinwasseatedatalibrary-table，andhereMrWegg，havingimperiouslymotionedtheservanttowithdraw，drewupachairandseatedhimself，inhishat，closebesidehim。Here，also，MrWegginstantlyunderwenttheremarkableexperienceofhavinghishattwitchedoffhisheadandthrownoutofawindow，whichwasopenedandshutforthepurpose。
\'Becarefulwhatinsolentlibertiesyoutakeinthatgentleman\'spresence，\'saidtheownerofthehandwhichhaddonethis，\'orIwillthrowyouafterit。\'
Wegginvoluntarilyclappedhishandtohisbarehead，andstaredattheSecretary。For，itwasheaddressedhimwithaseverecountenance，andwhohadcomeinquietlybythefolding-doors。
\'Oh！\'saidWegg，assoonasherecoveredhissuspendedpowerofspeech。\'Verygood！IgavedirectionsforYOUtobedismissed。
Andyouain\'tgone，ain\'tyou?Oh！We\'lllookintothispresently。
Verygood！\'
\'No，norIain\'tgone，\'saidanothervoice。
Somebodyelsehadcomeinquietlybythefolding-doors。Turninghishead，Weggbeheldhispersecutor，theever-wakefuldustman，accoutredwithfantailhatandvelveteensmallscomplete。Who，untyinghistied-upbrokenhead，revealedaheadthatwaswhole，andafacethatwasSloppy\'s。
\'Ha，ha，ha，gentlemen！\'roaredSloppyinapealoflaughter，andwithimmeasureablerelish。\'HeneverthoughtasIcouldsleepstanding，andoftendoneitwhenIturnedforMrsHigden！HeneverthoughtasIusedtogiveMrsHigdenthePolice-newsindifferentvoices！ButIdidleadhimalifeallthroughit，gentlemen，IhopeIreallyandtrulyDID！\'Here，MrSloppyopeninghismouthtoaquitealarmingextent，andthrowingbackhisheadtopealagain，revealedincalculablebuttons。
\'Oh！\'saidWegg，slightlydiscomfited，butnotmuchasyet:\'oneandoneistwonotdismissed，isit?Bof——fin！Justletmeaskaquestion。Whosetthischapon，inthisdress，whenthecartingbegan?Whoemployedthisfellow?\'
\'Isay！\'remonstratedSloppy，jerkinghisheadforward。\'Nofellows，orI\'llthrowyououtofwinder！\'
MrBoffinappeasedhimwithawaveofhishand，andsaid:\'I
employedhim，Wegg。\'
\'Oh！Youemployedhim，Boffin?Verygood。MrVenus，weraiseourterms，andwecan\'tdobetterthanproceedtobusiness。Bof——
fin！Iwanttheroomclearedofthesetwoscum。\'
\'That\'snotgoingtobedone，Wegg，\'repliedMrBoffin，sittingcomposedlyonthelibrary-table，atoneend，whiletheSecretarysatcomposedlyonitattheother。
\'Bof——fin！Notgoingtobedone?\'repeatedWegg。\'Notatyourperil?\'
\'No，Wegg，\'saidMrBoffin，shakinghisheadgood-humouredly。
\'Notatmyperil，andnotonanyotherterms。\'
Weggreflectedamoment，andthensaid:\'MrVenus，willyoubesogoodashandmeoverthatsamedockyment?\'
\'Certainly，sir，\'repliedVenus，handingittohimwithmuchpoliteness。\'Thereitis。Havingnow，sir，partedwithit，Iwishtomakeasmallobservation:notsomuchbecauseitisanywaysnecessary，orexpressesanynewdoctrineordiscovery，asbecauseitisacomforttomymind。SilasWegg，youareapreciousoldrascal。\'
MrWegg，who，asifanticipatingacompliment，hadbeenbeatingtimewiththepapertotheother\'spolitenessuntilthisunexpectedconclusioncameuponhim，stoppedratherabruptly。
\'SilasWegg，\'saidVenus，\'knowthatItookthelibertyoftakingMrBoffinintoourconcernasasleepingpartner，ataveryearlyperiodofourfirm\'sexistence。
\'Quitetrue，\'addedMrBoffin；\'andItestedVenusbymakinghimapretendedproposalortwo；andIfoundhimonthewholeaveryhonestman，Wegg。\'
\'SoMrBoffin，inhisindulgence，ispleasedtosay，\'Venusremarked:\'thoughinthebeginningofthisdirt，myhandswerenot，forafewhours，quiteascleanasIcouldwish。ButIhopeImadeearlyandfullamends。\'
\'Venus，youdid，\'saidMrBoffin。\'Certainly，certainly，certainly。\'
Venusinclinedhisheadwithrespectandgratitude。\'Thankyou，sir。Iammuchobligedtoyou，sir，forall。Foryourgoodopinionnow，foryourwayofreceivingandencouragingmewhenIfirstputmyselfincommunicationwithyou，andfortheinfluencesincesokindlybroughttobearuponacertainlady，bothbyyourselfandbyMrJohnHarmon。\'Towhom，whenthusmakingmentionofhim，healsobowed。
Weggfollowedthenamewithsharpears，andtheactionwithsharpeyes，andacertaincringingairwasinfusingitselfintohisbullyingair，whenhisattentionwasre-claimedbyVenus。
\'Everythingelsebetweenyouandme，MrWegg，\'saidVenus，\'nowexplainsitself，andyoucannowmakeout，sir，withoutfurtherwordsfromme。ButtotallytopreventanyunpleasantnessormistakethatmightariseonwhatIconsideranimportantpoint，tobemadequiteclearatthecloseofouracquaintance，IbegtheleaveofMrBoffinandMrJohnHarmontorepeatanobservationwhichIhavealreadyhadthepleasureofbringingunderyournotice。Youareapreciousoldrascal！\'
\'Youareafool，\'saidWegg，withasnapofhisfingers，\'andI\'dhavegotridofyoubeforenow，ifIcouldhavestruckoutanywayofdoingit。Ihavethoughtitover，Icantellyou。Youmaygo，andwelcome。Youleavethemoreforme。Because，youknow，\'saidWegg，dividinghisnextobservationbetweenMrBoffinandMrHarmon，\'Iamworthmyprice，andImeantohaveit。Thisgettingoffisallverywellinitsway，andittellswithsuchananatomicalPumpasthisone，\'pointingoutMrVenus，\'butitwon\'tdowithaMan。Iamheretobeboughtoff，andIhavenamedmyfigure。
Now，buyme，orleaveme。\'
\'I\'llleaveyou，Wegg，saidMrBoffin，laughing，\'asfarasIamconcerned。\'
\'Bof——fin！\'repliedWegg，turninguponhimwithasevereair，\'I
understandYOURnew-bornboldness。IseethebrassunderneathYOURsilverplating。YOUhavegotYOURnoseoutofjoint。
Knowingthatyou\'venothingatstake，youcanaffordtocometheindependentgame。Why，you\'rejustsomuchsmearyglasstoseethrough，youknow！ButMrHarmonisinanothersitiwation。
WhatMrHarmonrisks，isquiteanotherpairofshoes。Now，I\'veheerdsomethinglatelyaboutthisbeingMrHarmon——Imakeoutnow，somehintsthatI\'vemetonthatsubjectinthenewspaper——
andIdropyou，Bof——fin，asbeneathmynotice。IaskMrHarmonwhetherhehasanyideaofthecontentsofthispresentpaper?\'
\'Itisawillofmylatefather\'s，ofmorerecentdatethanthewillprovedbyMrBoffinaddresswhomagain，asyouhaveaddressedhimalready，andI\'llknockyoudown，leavingthewholeofhispropertytotheCrown，\'saidJohnHarmon，withasmuchindifferenceaswascompatiblewithextremesternness。
\'Bightyouare！\'criedWegg。\'Then，\'screwingtheweightofhisbodyuponhiswoodenleg，andscrewinghiswoodenheadverymuchononeside，andscrewinguponeeye:\'then，Iputthequestiontoyou，what\'sthispaperworth?\'
\'Nothing，\'saidJohnHarmon。
Wegghadrepeatedthewordwithasneer，andwasenteringonsomesarcasticretort，when，tohisboundlessamazement，hefoundhimselfgrippedbythecravat；shakenuntilhisteethchattered；
shovedback，staggering，intoacorneroftheroom；andpinnedthere。
\'Youscoundrel！\'saidJohnHarmon，whoseseafaringholdwaslikethatofavice。
\'You\'reknockingmyheadagainstthewall，\'urgedSilasfaintly。
\'Imeantoknockyourheadagainstthewall，\'neturnedJohnHarmon，suitinghisactiontohiswords，withtheheartiestgoodwill；\'andI\'dgiveathousandpoundsforleavetoknockyourbrainsout。Listen，youscoundrel，andlookatthatDutchbottle。\'
Sloppyhelditup，forhisedification。
\'ThatDutchbottle，scoundrel，containedthelatestwillofthemanywillsmadebymyunhappyself-tormentingfather。Thatwillgiveseverythingabsolutelytomynoblebenefactorandyours，MrBoffin，excludingandrevilingme，andmysisterthenalreadydeadofabrokenheart，byname。ThatDutchbottlewasfoundbymynoblebenefactorandyours，afterheenteredonpossessionoftheestate。
ThatDutchbottledistressedhimbeyondmeasure，because，thoughIandmysisterwerebothnomore，itcastasluruponourmemorywhichheknewwehaddonenothinginourmiserableyouth，todeserve。ThatDutchbottle，therefore，heburiedintheMoundbelongingtohim，andthereitlaywhileyou，youthanklesswretch，wereproddingandpoking——oftenverynearit，Idaresay。Hisintentionwas，thatitshouldneverseethelight；buthewasafraidtodestroyit，lesttodestroysuchadocument，evenwithhisgreatgenerousmotive，mightbeanoffenceatlaw。AfterthediscoverywasmadeherewhoIwas，MrBoffin，stillrestlessonthesubject，toldme，uponcertainconditionsimpossibleforsuchahoundasyoutoappreciate，thesecretofthatDutchbottle。Iurgeduponhimthenecessityofitsbeingdugup，andthepaperbeinglegallyproducedandestablished。Thefirstthingyousawhimdo，andthesecondthinghasbeendonewithoutyourknowledge。
Consequently，thepapernowrattlinginyourhandasIshakeyou——
andIshouldliketoshakethelifeoutofyou——isworthlessthantherottencorkoftheDutchbottle，doyouunderstand?\'
JudgingfromthefallencountenanceofSilasashisheadwaggedbackwardsandforwardsinamostuncomfortablemanner，hedidunderstand。
Now，scoundrel，\'saidJohnHarmon，takinganothersailor-liketurnonhiscravatandholdinghiminhiscorneratarms\'length，\'Ishallmaketwomoreshortspeechestoyou，becauseIhopetheywilltormentyou。Yourdiscoverywasagenuinediscoverysuchasitwas，fornobodyhadthoughtoflookingintothatplace。Neitherdidweknowyouhadmadeit，untilVenusspoketoMrBoffin，thoughIkeptyouundergoodobservationfrommyfirstappearancehere，andthoughSloppyhaslongmadeitthechiefoccupationanddelightofhislife，toattendyoulikeyourshadow。Itellyouthis，thatyoumayknowweknewenoughofyoutopersuadeMrBoffintoletusleadyouon，deluded，tothelastpossiblemoment，inorderthatyourdisappointmentmightbetheheaviestpossibledisappointment。That\'sthefirstshortspeech，doyouunderstand?\'
Here，JohnHarmonassistedhiscomprehensionwithanothershake。
\'Now，scoundrel，\'hepursued，\'Iamgoingtofinish。Yousupposedmejustnow，tobethepossessorofmyfather\'sproperty——SoIam。
Butthroughanyactofmyfather\'s，orbyanyrightIhave?No。
ThroughthemunificenceofMrBoffin。Theconditionsthathemadewithme，beforepartingwiththesecretoftheDutchbottle，were，thatIshouldtakethefortune，andthatheshouldtakehisMoundandnomore。IoweeverythingIpossess，solelytothedisinterestedness，uprightness，tenderness，goodnesstherearenowordstosatisfymeofMrandMrsBoffin。Andwhen，knowingwhatIknew，Isawsuchamud-wormasyoupresumetoriseinthishouseagainstthisnoblesoul，thewonderis，\'addedJohnHarmonthroughhisclenchedteeth，andwithaveryuglyturnindeedonWegg\'scravat，\'thatIdidn\'ttrytotwistyourheadoff，andflingTHAToutofwindow！So。That\'sthelastshortspeech，doyouunderstand?\'
Silas，released，puthishandtohisthroat，clearedit，andlookedasifhehadaratherlargefishboneinthatregion。Simultaneouslywiththisactiononhispartinhiscorner，asingular，andonthesurfaceanincomprehensible，movementwasmadebyMrSloppy:
whobeganbackingtowardsMrWeggalongthewall，inthemannerofaporterorheaverwhoisabouttoliftasackofflourorcoals。
\'Iamsorry，Wegg，\'saidMrBoffin，inhisclemency，\'thatmyoldladyandIcan\'thaveabetteropinionofyouthanthebadoneweareforcedtoentertain。ButIshouldn\'tliketoleaveyou，afterallsaidanddone，worseoffinlifethanIfoundyou。Thereforesayinaword，beforewepart，whatit\'llcosttosetyouupinanotherstall。\'
\'Andinanotherplace，\'JohnHarmonstruckin。\'Youdon\'tcomeoutsidethesewindows。\'
\'MrBoffin，\'returnedWegginavaricioushumiliation:\'whenIfirsthadthehonourofmakingyouracquaintance，Ihadgottogetheracollectionofballadswhichwas，Imaysay，aboveprice。\'
\'Thentheycan\'tbepaidfor，\'saidJohnHarmon，\'andyouhadbetternottry，mydearsir。\'
\'Pardonme，MrBoffin，\'resumedWegg，withamalignantglanceinthelastspeaker\'sdirection，\'Iwasputtingthecasetoyou，who，ifmysensesdidnotdeceiveme，putthecasetome。Ihadaverychoicecollectionofballads，andtherewasanewstockofgingerbreadinthetinbox。Isaynomore，butwouldratherleaveittoyou。\'
\'Butit\'sdifficulttonamewhat\'sright，\'saidMrBoffinuneasily，withhishandinhispocket，\'andIdon\'twanttogobeyondwhat\'sright，becauseyoureallyhaveturnedoutsuchaverybadfellow。
Soartful，andsoungratefulyouhavebeen，Wegg；forwhendidI
everinjureyou?\'
\'Therewasalso，\'MrWeggwenton，inameditativemanner，\'aerrandconnection，inwhichIwasmuchrespected。ButIwouldnotwishtobedeemedcovetous，andIwouldratherleaveittoyou，MrBoffin。\'
\'Uponmyword，Idon\'tknowwhattoputitat，\'theGoldenDustmanmuttered。
\'Therewaslikewise，\'resumedWegg，\'apairoftrestles，forwhichaloneaIrishperson，whowasdeemedajudgeoftrestles，offeredfiveandsix——asumIwouldnothearof，forIshouldhavelostbyit——
andtherewasastool，aumbrella，aclothes-horse，andatray。ButIleaveittoyou，MrBoffin。\'
TheGoldenDustmanseemingtobeengagedinsomeabstrusecalculation，MrWeggassistedhimwiththefollowingadditionalitems。
\'Therewas，further，MissElizabeth，MasterGeorge，AuntJane，andUncleParker。Ah！Whenamanthinksofthelossofsuchpatronageasthat；whenamanfindssofairagardenrootedupbypigs；hefindsithardindeed，withoutgoinghigh，toworkitintomoney。ButIleaveitwhollytoyou，sir。\'
MrSloppystillcontinuedhissingular，andonthesurfacehisincomprehensible，movement。
\'Leadingonhasbeenmentioned，\'saidWeggwithamelancholyair，\'andit\'snoteasytosayhowfarthetoneofmymindmayhavebeenloweredbyunwholesomereadingonthesubjectofMisers，whenyouwasleadingmeandothersontothinkyouoneyourself，sir。AllIcansayis，thatIfeltmytoneofmindaloweringatthetime。Andhowcanamanputapriceuponhismind！Therewaslikewiseahatjustnow。ButIleavetheoletoyou，MrBoffin。\'
\'Come！\'saidMrBoffin。\'Here\'sacoupleofpound。\'
\'Injusticetomyself，Icouldn\'ttakeit，sir。\'
ThewordswerebutoutofhismouthwhenJohnHarmonliftedhisfinger，andSloppy，whowasnowclosetoWegg，backedtoWegg\'sback，stooped，graspedhiscoatcollarbehindwithbothhands，anddeftlyswunghimuplikethesackofflourorcoalsbeforementioned。AcountenanceofspecialdiscontentandamazementMrWeggexhibitedinthisposition，withhisbuttonsalmostasprominentlyonviewasSloppy\'sown，andwithhiswoodenleginahighlyunaccommodatingstate。But，notformanysecondswashiscountenancevisibleintheroom；for，Sloppylightlytrottedoutwithhimandtrotteddownthestaircase，MrVenusattendingtoopenthestreetdoor。MrSloppy\'sinstructionshadbeentodeposithisburdenintheroad；but，ascavenger\'scarthappeningtostandunattendedatthecorner，withitslittleladderplantedagainstthewheel，MrS。founditimpossibletoresistthetemptationofshootingMrSilasWeggintothecart\'scontents。Asomewhatdifficultfeat，achievedwithgreatdexterity，andwithaprodigioussplash。
Chapter15
WHATWASCAUGHTINTHETRAPSTHATWERESET
HowBradleyHeadstonehadbeenrackedandriveninhismindsincethequieteveningwhenbytheriver-sidehehadrisen，asitwere，outoftheashesoftheBargeman，nonebuthecouldhavetold。Notevenhecouldhavetold，forsuchmiserycanonlybefelt。
First，hehadtobearthecombinedweightoftheknowledgeofwhathehaddone，ofthathauntingreproachthathemighthavedoneitsomuchbetter，andofthedreadofdiscovery。Thiswasloadenoughtocrushhim，andhelabouredunderitdayandnight。
Itwasasheavyonhiminhisscantysleep，asinhisred-eyedwakinghours。Itborehimdownwithadreadunchangingmonotony，inwhichtherewasnotamoment\'svariety。Theoverweightedbeastofburden，ortheoverweightedslave，canforcertaininstantsshiftthephysicalload，andfindsomeslightrespiteeveninenforcingadditionalpainuponsuchasetofmusclesorsuchalimb。Noteventhatpoormockeryofreliefcouldthewretchedmanobtain，underthesteadypressureoftheinfernalatmosphereintowhichhehadentered。
Timewentby，andnovisiblesuspiciondoggedhim；timewentby，andinsuchpublicaccountsoftheattackaswererenewedatintervals，hebegantoseeMrLightwoodwhoactedaslawyerfortheinjuredmanstrayingfurtherfromthefact，goingwideroftheissue，andevidentlyslackeninginhiszeal。Bydegrees，aglimmeringofthecauseofthisbegantobreakonBradley\'ssight。
ThencamethechancemeetingwithMrMilveyattherailwaystationwhereheoftenlingeredinhisleisurehours，asaplacewhereanyfreshnewsofhisdeedwouldbecirculated，oranyplacardreferringtoitwouldbeposted，andthenhesawinthelightwhathehadbroughtabout。
For，thenhesawthatthroughhisdesperateattempttoseparatethosetwoforever，hehadbeenmadethemeansofunitingthem。
Thathehaddippedhishandsinblood，tomarkhimselfamiserablefoolandtool。ThatEugeneWrayburn，forhiswife\'ssake，sethimasideandlefthimtocrawlalonghisblastedcourse。
HethoughtofFate，orProvidence，orbethedirectingPowerwhatitmight，ashavingputafrauduponhim——overreachedhim——andinhisimpotentmadragebit，andtore，andhadhisfit。
Newassuranceofthetruthcameuponhiminthenextfewfollowingdays，whenitwasputforthhowthewoundedmanhadbeenmarriedonhisbed，andtowhom，andhow，thoughalwaysinadangerouscondition，hewasashadebetter。Bradleywouldfarratherhavebeenseizedforhismurder，thanhewouldhavereadthatpassage，knowinghimselfspared，andknowingwhy。
But，nottobestillfurtherdefraudedandoverreached——whichhewouldbe，ifimplicatedbyRiderhood，andpunishedbythelawforhisabjectfailure，asthoughithadbeenasuccess——hekeptcloseinhisschoolduringtheday，venturedoutwarilyatnight，andwentnomoretotherailwaystation。HeexaminedtheadvertisementsinthenewspapersforanysignthatRiderhoodactedonhishintedthreatofsosummoninghimtorenewtheiracquaintance，butfoundnone。HavingpaidhimhandsomelyforthesupportandaccommodationhehadhadattheLockHouse，andknowinghimtobeaveryignorantmanwhocouldnotwrite，hebegantodoubtwhetherhewastobefearedatall，orwhethertheyneedevermeetagain。
Allthistime，hismindwasneverofftherack，andhisragingsenseofhavingbeenmadetoflinghimselfacrossthechasmwhichdividedthosetwo，andbridgeitoverfortheircomingtogether，nevercooleddown。Thishorribleconditionbroughtonotherfits。
Hecouldnothavesaidhowmany，orwhen；buthesawinthefacesofhispupilsthattheyhadseenhiminthatstate，andthattheywerepossessedbyadreadofhisrelapsing。
Onewinterdaywhenaslightfallofsnowwasfeatheringthesillsandframesoftheschoolroomwindows，hestoodathisblackboard，crayoninhand，abouttocommencewithaclass；when，readinginthecountenancesofthoseboysthattherewassomethingwrong，andthattheyseemedinalarmforhim，heturnedhiseyestothedoortowardswhichtheyfaced。Hethensawaslouchingmanofforbiddingappearancestandinginthemidstoftheschool，withabundleunderhisarm；andsawthatitwasRiderhood。
Hesatdownonastoolwhichoneofhisboysputforhim，andhehadapassingknowledgethathewasindangeroffalling，andthathisfacewasbecomingdistorted。But，thefitwentoffforthattime，andhewipedhismouth，andstoodupagain。
\'Begyourpardon，governor！Byyourleave！\'saidRiderhood，knucklinghisforehead，withachuckleandaleer。\'Whatplacemaythisbe?\'
\'Thisisaschool。\'
\'Whereyoungfolkslearnswot\'sright?\'saidRiderhood，gravelynodding。\'Begyourpardon，governor！Byyourleave！Butwhoteachesthisschool?\'
\'Ido。\'
\'You\'rethemaster，areyou，learnedgovernor?\'
\'Yes。Iamthemaster。\'
\'Andalovelythingitmustbe，\'saidRiderhood，\'furtolearnyoungfolkswot\'sright，andfurtoknowwotTHEYknowwotyoudoit。
Begyourpardon，learnedgovernor！Byyourleave！——Thatthereblackboard；wot\'sitfor?\'
\'Itisfordrawingon，orwritingon。\'
\'Isitthough！\'saidRiderhood。\'Who\'dhavethoughtit，fromthelooksonit！WOULDyoubesokindaswriteyournameuponit，learnedgovernor?\'Inawheedlingtone。
Bradleyhesitatedforamoment；butplacedhisusualsignature，enlarged，upontheboard。
\'Iain\'talearnedcharactermyself，\'saidRiderhood，surveyingtheclass，\'butIdoadmirelearninginothers。Ishoulddearlyliketohearthesehereyoungfolksreadthattherenameoff，fromthewriting。\'
Thearmsoftheclasswentup。Atthemiserablemaster\'snod，theshrillchorusarose:\'BradleyHeadstone！\'
\'No?\'criedRiderhood。\'Youdon\'tmeanit?Headstone！Why，that\'sinachurchyard。Hooroarforanotherturn！\'
Anothertossingofarms，anothernod，andanothershrillchorus:
\'BradleyHeadstone！\'
\'I\'vegotitnow！\'saidRiderhood，afterattentivelylistening，andinternallyrepeating:\'Bradley。Isee。Chris\'enname，Bradleysim\'lartoRogerwhichismyown。Eh?Fam\'lyname，Headstone，sim\'lartoRiderhoodwhichismyown。Eh?\'
Shrillchorus。\'Yes！\'