Chapter48
THEsecondofthetwomeetingsreferredtointhelastchapter,occurredaboutaweekafterthefirst。IhadagainleftmyboatatthewharfbelowBridge;thetimewasanhourearlierintheafternoon;and,undecidedwheretodine,IhadstrolledupintoCheapside,andwasstrollingalongit,surelythemostunsettledpersoninallthebusyconcourse,whenalargehandwaslaiduponmyshoulder,bysomeoneovertakingme。ItwasMrJaggers\'shand,andhepasseditthroughmyarm。
`Aswearegoinginthesamedirection,Pip,wemaywalktogether。Whereareyouboundfor?\'
`FortheTemple,Ithink,\'saidI。
`Don\'tyouknow?\'saidMrJaggers。
`Well,\'Ireturned,gladforoncetogetthebetterofhimincross-examination,`Idonotknow,forIhavenotmadeupmnmind。\'
`Youaregoingtodine?\'saidMrJaggers。`Youdon\'tmindadmittingthat,Isuppose?\'
`No,\'Ireturned,`Idon\'tmindadmittingthat。\'
`Andarenotengaged?\'
`Idon\'tmindadmittingalso,thatIamnotengaged。\'
`Then,\'saidMrJaggers,`comeanddinewithme。\'
Iwasgoingtoexcusemyself,whenheadded,`Wemmick\'scoming。\'So,Ichangedmyexcuseintoanacceptance-thefewwordsIhaduttered,servingforthebeginningofeither-andwewentalongCheapsideandslantedofftoLittleBritain,whilethelightswerespringingupbrilliantlyintheshopwindows,andthestreetlamp-lighters,scarcelyfindinggroundenoughtoplanttheirladdersoninthemidstoftheafternoon\'sbustle,wereskippingupanddownandrunninginandout,openingmoreredeyesinthegatheringfogthanmyrushlighttowerattheHummumshadopenedwhiteeyesintheghostlywall。
AttheofficeinLittleBritaintherewastheusualletter-writing,hand-washing,candle-snuffing,andsafe-locking,thatclosedthebusinessoftheday。AsIstoodidlebyMrJagger\'sfire,itsrisingandfallingflamemadethetwocastsontheshelflookasiftheywereplayingadiabolicalgameatbo-peepwithme;whilethepairofcoarsefatofficecandlesthatdimlylightedMrJaggersashewroteinacorner,weredecoratedwithdirtywinding-sheets,asifinremembranceofahostofhangedclients。
WewenttoGerrard-street,allthreetogether,inahackneycoach:andassoonaswegotthere,dinnerwasserved。AlthoughIshouldnothavethoughtofmaking,inthatplace,themostdistantreferencebysomuchasalooktoWemmick\'sWalworthsentiments,yetIshouldhavehadnoobjectiontocatchinghiseyenowandtheninafriendlyway。Butitwasnottobedone。HeturnedhiseyesonMrJaggerswheneverheraisedthemfromthetable,andwasasdryanddistanttomeasifthereweretwinWemmicksandthiswasthewrongone。
`DidyousendthatnoteofMissHavisham\'stoMrPip,Wemmick?\'MrJaggersasked,soonafterwebegandinner。
`No,sir,\'returnedWemmick;`itwasgoingbypost,whenyoubroughtMrPipintotheoffice。Hereitis。\'Hehandedittohisprincipal,insteadoftome。
`It\'sanoteoftwolines,Pip,\'saidMrJaggers,handingiton,`sentuptomebyMissHavisham,onaccountofhernotbeingsureofyouraddress。
Shetellsmethatshewantstoseeyouonalittlematterofbusinessyoumentionedtoher。You\'llgodown?\'
`Yes,\'saidI,castingmyeyesoverthenote,whichwasexactlyinthoseterms。
`Whendoyouthinkofgoingdown?\'
`Ihaveanimpendingengagement,\'saidI,glancingatWemmick,whowasputtingfishintothepost-office,`thatrendersmeratheruncertainofmytime。Atonce,Ithink。\'
`IfMrPiphastheintentionofgoingatonce,\'saidWemmicktoMrJaggers,`heneedn\'twriteananswer,youknow。\'
Receivingthisasanintimationthatitwasbestnottodelay,IsettledthatIwouldgoto-morrow,andsaidso。WemmickdrankaglassofwineandlookedwithagrimlysatisfiedairatMrJaggers,butnotatme。
`So,Pip!OurfriendtheSpider,\'saidMrJaggers,`hasplayedhiscards。
Hehaswonthepool。\'
ItwasasmuchasIcoulddotoassent。
`Hah!Heisapromisingfellow-inhisway-buthemaynothaveitallhisownway。Thestrongerwillwinintheend,butthestrongerhastobefoundoutfirst。Ifheshouldturnto,andbeather——\'
`Surely,\'Iinterrupted,withaburningfaceandheart,`youdonotseriouslythinkthatheisscoundrelenoughforthat,MrJaggers?\'
`Ididn\'tsayso,Pip。Iamputtingacase。Ifheshouldturntoandbeather,hemaypossiblygetthestrengthonhisside;ifitshouldbeaquestionofintellect,hecertainlywillnot。Itwouldbechanceworktogiveanopinionhowafellowofthatsortwillturnoutinsuchcircumstances,becauseit\'satoss-upbetweentworesults。\'
`MayIaskwhattheyare?\'
`AfellowlikeourfriendtheSpider,\'answeredMrJaggers,`eitherbeats,orcringes。Hemaycringeandgrowl,orcringeandnotgrowl;butheeitherbeatsorcringes。AskWemmickhisopinion。\'
`Eitherbeatsorcringes,\'saidWemmick,notatalladdressinghimselftome。
`So,here\'stoMrsBentleyDrummle,\'saidMrJaggers,takingadecanterofchoicerwinefromhisdumb-waiter,andfilingforeachofusandforhimself,`andmaythequestionofsupremacybesettledtothelady\'ssatisfaction!
Tothesatisfactionoftheladyandthegentleman,itneverwillbe。Now,Molly,Molly,Molly,Molly,howslowyouareto-day!\'
Shewasathiselbowwhenheaddressedher,puttingadishuponthetable。Asshewithdrewherhandsfromit,shefellbackasteportwo,nervouslymutteringsomeexcuse。Andacertainactionofherfingersasshespokearrestedmyattention。
`What\'sthematter?\'saidMrJaggers。
`Nothing。Onlythesubjectwewerespeakingof,\'saidI,`wasratherpainfultome。\'
Theactionofherfingerswasliketheactionofknitting。Shestoodlookingathermaster,notunderstandingwhethershewasfreetogo,orwhetherhehadmoretosaytoherandwouldcallherbackifshedidgo。
Herlookwasveryintent。Surely,Ihadseenexactlysucheyesandsuchhands,onamemorableoccasionverylately!
Hedismissedher,andsheglidedoutoftheroom。Butsheremainedbeforeme,asplainlyasifshewerestillthere。Ilookedatthosehands,Ilookedatthoseeyes,Ilookedatthatflowinghair;andIcomparedthemwithotherhands,othereyes,otherhair,thatIknewof,andwithwhatthosemightbeaftertwentyyearsofabrutalhusbandandastormylife。Ilookedagainatthosehandsandeyesofthehousekeeper,andthoughtoftheinexplicablefeelingthathadcomeovermewhenIlastwalked-notalone-intheruinedgarden,andthroughthedesertedbrewery。IthoughthowthesamefeelinghadcomebackwhenIsawafacelookingatme,andahandwavingtome,fromastage-coachwindow;andhowithadcomebackagainandhadflashedaboutmelikeLightning,whenIhadpassedinacarriage-notalone-
throughasuddenglareoflightinadarkstreet。Ithoughthowonelinkofassociationhadhelpedthatidentificationinthetheatre,andhowsuchalink,wantingbefore,hadbeenrivetedformenow,whenIhadpassedbyachanceswiftfromEstella\'snametothefingerswiththeirknittingaction,andtheattentiveeyes。AndIfeltabsolutelycertainthatthiswomanwasEstella\'smother。
MrJaggershadseenmewithEstella,andwasnotlikelytohavemissedthesentimentsIhadbeenatnopainstoconceal。HenoddedwhenIsaidthesubjectwaspainfultome,clappedmeontheback,putroundthewineagain,andwentonwithhisdinner。
Onlytwicemore,didthehousekeeperreappear,andthenherstayintheroomwasveryshort,andMrJaggerswassharpwithher。ButherhandswereEstella\'shands,andhereyeswereEstella\'seyes,andifshehadreappearedahundredtimesIcouldhavebeenneithermoresurenorlesssurethatmyconvictionwasthetruth。
Itwasadullevening,forWemmickdrewhiswinewhenitcameround,quiteasamatterofbusiness-justashemighthavedrawnhissalarywhenthatcameround-andwithhiseyesonhischief,satinastateofperpetualreadinessforcross-examination。Astothequantityofwine,hispost-officewasasindifferentandreadyasandotherpost-officeforitsquantityofletters。Frommypointofview,hewasthewrongtwinallthetime,andonlyexternallyliketheWemmickofWalworth。
Wetookourleaveearly,andlefttogether。EvenwhenweweregropingamongMrJaggers\'sstockofbootsforourhats,Ifeltthattherighttwinwasonhiswayback;andwehadnotgonehalfadozenyardsdownGerrard-streetintheWalworthdirectionbeforeIfoundthatIwaswalkingarm-in-armwiththerighttwin,andthatthewrongtwinhadevaporatedintotheeveningair。
`Well!\'saidWemmick,`that\'sover!He\'sawonderfulman,withouthislivinglikeness;butIfeelthatIhavetoscrewmyselfupwhenIdinewithhim-andIdinemorecomfortablyunscrewed。\'
Ifeltthatthiswasagoodstatementofthecase,andtoldhimso。
`Wouldn\'tsayittoanybodybutyourself,\'heanswered。`Iknowthatwhatissaidbetweenyouandme,goesnofurther。\'
IaskedhimifhehadeverseenMissHavisham\'sadopteddaughter,MrsBentleyDrummle?Hesaidno。Toavoidbeingtooabrupt,IthenspokeoftheAged,andofMissSkiffins。HelookedratherslywhenImentionedMissSkiffins,andstoppedinthestreettoblowhisnose,witharolloftheheadandaflourishnotquitefreefromlatentboastfulness。
`Wemmick,\'saidI,`doyouremembertellingmebeforeIfirstwenttoMrJaggers\'sprivatehouse,tonoticethathousekeeper?\'
`DidI?\'hereplied。`Ah,IdaresayIdid。Deucetakeme,\'headded,suddenly,`IknowIdid。IfindIamnotquiteunscrewedyet。\'
`Awildbeasttamed,youcalledher。\'
`Andwhatdoyoucallher?\'
`Thesame。HowdidMrJaggerstameher,Wemmick?\'
`That\'shissecret。Shehasbeenwithhimmanyalongyear。\'
`Iwishyouwouldtellmeherstory。Ifeelaparticularinterestinbeingacquaintedwithit。Youknowthatwhatissaidbetweenyouandmegoesnofurther。\'
`Well!\'Wemmickreplied,`Idon\'tknowherstory-thatis,Idon\'tknowallofit。ButwhatIdoknow,I\'lltellyou。Weareinourprivateandpersonalcapacities,ofcourse。\'
`Ofcourse。\'
`Ascoreorsoofyearsago,thatwomanwastriedattheOldBaileyformurder,andwasacquitted。Shewasaveryhandsomeyoungwoman,andIbelievehadsomegipsybloodinher。Anyhow,iwashotenoughwhenitwasup,asyoumaysuppose。\'
`Butshewasacquitted。\'
`MrJaggerswasforher,\'pursuedWemmick,withalookfullofmeaning,`andworkedthecaseinawayquiteastonishing。Itwasadesperatecase,anditwascomparativelyearlydayswithhimthen,andheworkedittogeneraladmiration;infact,itmayalmostbesaidtohavemadehim。Heworkedithimselfatthepolice-office,dayafterdayformanydays,contendingagainstevenacommittal;andatthetrialwherehecouldn\'tworkithimself,satunderCounsel,and-everyoneknew-putinallthesaltandpepper。
Themurderedpersonwasawoman;awoman,agoodtenyearsolder,verymuchlarger,andverymuchstronger。Itwasacaseofjealousy。Theybothledtrampinglives,andthiswomaninGerrard-streetherehadbeenmarriedveryyoung,overthebroomstickaswesay,toatrampingman,andwasaperfectfuryinpointofjealousy。Themurderedwoman-moreamatchfortheman,certainly,inpointofyears-wasfounddeadinabarnnearHounslowHeath。Therehadbeenaviolentstruggle,perhapsafight。Shewasbruisedandscratchedandtorn,andhadbeenheldbythethroatatlastandchoked。Now,therewasnoreasonableevidencetoimplicateanypersonbutthiswoman,and,ontheimprobabilitiesofherhavingbeenabletodoit,MrJaggersprincipallyrestedhiscase。Youmaybesure,\'saidWemmick,touchingmeonthesleeve,`thatheneverdweltuponthestrengthofherhandsthen,thoughhesometimesdoesnow。\'
IhadtoldWemmickofhisshowingusherwrists,thatdayofthedinnerparty。
`Well,sir!\'Wemmickwenton;`ithappened-happened,don\'tyousee?-
thatthiswomanwassoveryartfullydressedfromthetimeofherapprehension,thatshelookedmuchslighterthanshereallywas;inparticular,hersleevesarealwaysrememberedtohavebeensoskilfullycontrivedthatherarmshadquiteadelicatelook。Shehadonlyabruiseortwoabouther-nothingforatramp-butthebacksofherhandswerelacerated,andthequestionwas,wasitwithfinger-nails?Now,MrJaggersshowedthatshehadstruggledthroughagreatlotofbrambleswhichwerenotashighasherface;butwhichshecouldnothavegotthroughandkeptherhandsoutof;andbitsofthosebrambleswereactuallyfoundinherskinandputinevidence,aswellasthefactthatthebramblesinquestionwerefoundonexaminationtohavebeenbrokenthrough,andtohavelittleshredsofherdressandlittlespotsofblooduponthemhereandthere。Buttheboldestpointhemade,wasthis。Itwasattemptedtobesetupinproofofherjealousy,thatshewasunderstrongsuspicionofhaving,ataboutthetimeofthemurder,franticallydestroyedherchildbythisman-somethreeyearsold-torevengeherselfuponhim。MrJaggersworkedthat,inthisway。
\"Wesaythesearenotmarksoffinger-nails,butmarksofbrambles,andweshowyouthebrambles。Yousaytheyaremarksoffinger-nails,andyousetupthehypothesisthatshedestroyedherchild。Youmustacceptallconsequencesofthathypothesis。Foranythingweknow,shemayhavedestroyedherchild,andthechildinclingingtohermayhavescratchedherhands。
Whatthen?Youarenottryingherforthemurderofherchild;whydon\'tyou?Astothiscase,ifyouwillhavescratches,wesaythat,foranythingweknow,youmayhaveaccountedforthem,assumingforthesakeofargumentthatyouhavenotinventedthem?\"Tosumup,sir,\'saidWemmick,`MrJaggerswasaltogethertoomanyfortheJury,andtheygavein。\'
`Hasshebeeninhisserviceeversince?\'
`Yes;butnotonlythat,\'saidWemmick。`Shewentintohisserviceimmediatelyafterheracquittal,tamedassheisnow。Shehassincebeentaughtonethingandanotherinthewayofherduties,butshewastamedfromthebeginning。\'
`Doyourememberthesexofthechild?\'
`Saidtohavebeenagirl。\'
`Youhavenothingmoretosaytometo-night?\'
`Nothing。Igotyourletteranddestroyedit。Nothing。\'
WeexchangedacordialGoodNight,andIwenthome,withnewmatterformythoughts,thoughwithnorelieffromtheold。
Chapter49
PUTTINGMissHavisham\'snoteinmypocket,thatitmightserveasmycredentialsforsosoonreappearingatSatisHouse,incaseherwaywardnessshouldleadhertoexpressanysurpriseatseeingme,Iwentdownagainbythecoachnextday。ButIalightedattheHalfwayHouse,andbreakfastedthere,andwalkedtherestofthedistance;for,Isoughttogetintothetownquietlybytheunfrequentedways,andtoleaveitinthesamemanner。
ThebestlightofthedaywasgonewhenIpassedalongthequietechoingcourtsbehindtheHigh-street。Thenooksofruinwheretheoldmonkshadoncehadtheirrefectoriesandgardens,andwherethestrongwallswerenowpressedintotheserviceofhumbleshedsandstables,werealmostassilentastheoldmonksintheirgraves。Thecathedralchimeshadatonceasadderandamoreremotesoundtome,asIhurriedonavoidingobservation,thantheyhadeverhadbefore;so,theswelloftheoldorganwasbornetomyearslikefuneralmusic;andtherooks,astheyhoveredaboutthegreytowerandswunginthebarehightreesofthepriory-garden,seemedtocalltomethattheplacewaschanged,andthatEstellawasgoneoutofitforever。
AnelderlywomanwhomIhadseenbeforeasoneoftheservantswholivedinthesupplementaryhouseacrossthebackcourt-yard,openedthegate。
Thelightedcandlestoodinthedarkpassagewithin,asofold,andItookitupandascendedthestaircasealone。MissHavishamwasnotinherownroom,butwasinthelargerroomacrossthelanding。Lookinginatthedoor,afterknockinginvain,Isawhersittingonthehearthinaraggedchair,closebefore,andlostinthecontemplationof,theashyfire。
DoingasIhadoftendone,Iwentin,andstood,touchingtheoldchimney-piece,whereshecouldseemewhensheraisedhereyes。Therewasanairorutterlonelinessuponher,thatwouldhavemovedmetopitythoughshehadwilfullydonemeadeeperinjurythanIcouldchargeherwith。AsIstoodcompassionatingher,andthinkinghowintheprogressoftimeItoohadcometobeapartofthewreckedfortunesofthathouse,hereyesrestedonme。Shestared,andsaidinalowvoice,`Isitreal?\'
`ItisI,Pip。MrJaggersgavemeyournoteyesterday,andIhavelostnotime。\'
`Thankyou。Thankyou。\'
AsIbroughtanotheroftheraggedchairstothehearthandsatdown,Iremarkedanewexpressiononherface,asifshewereafraidofme。
`Iwant,\'shesaid,`topursuethatsubjectyoumentionedtomewhenyouwerelasthere,andtoshowyouthatIamnotallstone。Butperhapsyoucanneverbelieve,now,thatthereisanythinghumaninmyheart?\'
WhenIsaidsomereassuringwords,shestretchedouthertremulousrighthand,asthoughshewasgoingtotouchme;butsherecalleditagainbeforeIunderstoodtheaction,orknewhowtoreceiveit。
`Yousaid,speakingforyourfriend,thatyoucouldtellmehowtodosomethingusefulandgood。Somethingthatyouwouldlikedone,isitnot?\'
`SomethingthatIwouldlikedoneverymuch。\'
`Whatisit?\'
Ibeganexplainingtoherthatsecrethistoryofthepartnership。I
hadnotgotfarintoit,whenIjudgedfromherlooksthatshewasthinkinginadiscursivewayofme,ratherthanofwhatIsaid。Itseemedtobeso,for,whenIstoppedspeaking,manymomentspassedbeforesheshowedthatshewasconsciousofthefact。
`Doyoubreakoff,\'sheaskedthen,withherformerairofbeingafraidofme,`becauseyouhatemetoomuchtobeartospeaktome?\'
`No,no,\'Ianswered,`howcanyouthinkso,MissHavisham!IstoppedbecauseIthoughtyouwerenotfollowingwhatIsaid。\'
`PerhapsIwasnot,\'sheanswered,puttingahandtoherhead。`Beginagain,andletmelookatsomethingelse。Stay!Nowtellme。\'
Shesetherhanduponherstick,intheresolutewaythatsometimeswashabitualtoher,andlookedatthefirewithastrongexpressionofforcingherselftoattend。Iwentonwithmyexplanation,andtoldherhowIhadhopedtocompletethetransactionoutofmymeans,buthowinthisIwasdisappointed。ThatpartofthesubjectIremindedherinvolvedmatterswhichcouldformnopartofmyexplanation,fortheyweretheweightysecretsofanother。
`So!\'saidshe,assentingwithherhead,butnotlookingatme。`Andhowmuchmoneyiswantingtocompletethepurchase?\'
Iwasratherafraidofstatingit,foritsoundedalargesum。`Ninehundredpounds。\'
`IfIgiveyouthemoneyforthispurpose,willyoukeepmysecretasyouhavekeptyourown?\'
`Quiteasfaithfully。\'
`Andyourmindwillbemoreatrest?\'
`Muchmoreatrest。\'
`Areyouveryunhappynow?\'
Sheaskedthisquestion,stillwithoutlookingatme,butinanunwontedtoneofsympathy。Icouldnotreplyatthemoment,formyvoicefailedme。Sheputherleftarmacrosstheheadofherstick,andsoftlylaidherforeheadonit。
`Iamfarfromhappy,MissHavisham;butIhaveothercausesofdisquietthananyyouknowof。TheyarethesecretsIhavementioned。\'
Afteralittlewhile,sheraisedherheadandlookedatthefireagain。
`Itisnobleinyoutotellmethatyouhaveothercausesofunhappiness,Isittrue?\'
`Tootrue。\'
`CanIonlyserveyou,Pip,byservingyourfriend?Regardingthatasdone,istherenothingIcandoforyouyourself?\'
`Nothing。Ithankyouforthequestion。Ithankyouevenmoreforthetoneofthequestion。But,thereisnothing。\'
Shepresentlyrosefromherseat,andlookedabouttheblightedroomforthemeansofwriting。Therewerenonthere,andshetookfromherpocketayellowsetofivorytablets,mountedintarnishedgold,andwroteuponthemwithapencilinacaseoftarnishedgoldthathungfromherneck。
`YouarestillonfriendlytermswithMrJaggers?\'
`Quite。Idinedwithhimyesterday。\'
`Thisisanauthoritytohimtopayyouthatmoney,tolayoutatyourirresponsiblediscretionforyourfriend。Ikeepnomoneyhere;butifyouwouldratherMrJaggersknewnothingofthematter,Iwillsendittoyou。\'
`Thankyou,MissHavisham;Ihavenottheleastobjectiontoreceivingitfromhim。\'
Shereadmewhatshehadwritten,anditwasdirectandclear,andevidentlyintendedtoabsolvemefromanysuspicionofprofitingbythereceiptofthemoney。Itookthetabletsfromherhand,andittrembledagain,andittrembledmoreasshetookoffthechaintowhichthepencilwasattached,andputitinmine。Allthisshedid,withoutlookingatme。
`Mynameisonthefirstleaf。Ifyoucaneverwriteundermyname,\"Iforgiveher,\"thougheversolongaftermybrokenheartisdust-praydoit!\'
`OMissHavisham,\'saidI,`Icandoitnow。Therehavebeensoremistakes;
andmylifehasbeenablindandthanklessone;andIwantforgivenessanddirectionfartoomuch,tobebitterwithyou。\'
Sheturnedherfacetomeforthefirsttimesinceshehadavertedit,and,tomyamazement,Imayevenaddtomyterror,droppedonherkneesatmyfeet;withherfoldedhandsraisedtomeinthemannerinwhich,whenherpoorheartwasyoungandfreshandwhole,theymustoftenhavebeenraisedtoheavenfromhermother\'sside。
Toseeherwithherwhitehairandherwornfacekneelingatmyfeet,gavemeashockthroughallmyframe。Ientreatedhertorise,andgotmyarmsabouthertohelpherup;butsheonlypressedthathandofminewhichwasnearesttohergrasp,andhungherheadoveritandwept。Ihadneverseenhershedatearbefore,and,inthehopethatthereliefmightdohergood,Ibentoverherwithoutspeaking。Shewasnotkneelingnow,butwasdownupontheground。
`O!\'shecried,despairingly。`WhathaveIdone!WhathaveIdone!\'
`Ifyoumean,MissHavisham,whathaveyoudonetoinjureme,letmeanswer。Verylittle。Ishouldhavelovedherunderanycircumstances-
Isshemarried?\'
`Yes。\'
Itwasaneedlessquestion,foranewdesolationinthedesolatehousehadtoldmeso。
`WhathaveIdone!WhathaveIdone!\'Shewrungherhands,andcrushedherwhitehair,andreturnedtothiscryoverandoveragain。`WhathaveIdone!\'
Iknewnothowtoanswer,orhowtocomforther。Thatshehaddoneagrievousthingintakinganimpressionablechildtomouldintotheformthatherwildresentment,spurnedaffection,andwoundedpride,foundvengeancein,Iknewfullwell。Butthat,inshuttingoutthelightofday,shehadshutoutinfinitelymore;that,inseclusion,shehadsecludedherselffromathousandnaturalandhealinginfluences;that,hermind,broodingsolitary,hadgrowndiseased,asallmindsdoandmustandwillthatreversetheappointedorderoftheirMaker;Iknewequallywell。AndcouldIlookuponherwithoutcompassion,seeingherpunishmentintheruinshewas,inherprofoundunfitnessforthisearthonwhichshewasplaced,inthevanityofsorrowwhichhadbecomeamastermania,likethevanityofpenitence,thevanityofremorse,thevanityofunworthiness,andothermonstrousvanitiesthathavebeencursesinthisworld?
`Untilyouspoketohertheotherday,anduntilIsawinyoualooking-glassthatshowedmewhatIoncefeltmyself,IdidnotknowwhatIhaddone。
WhathaveIdone!WhathaveIdone!\'Andsoagain,twenty,fiftytimesover,Whathadshedone!
`MissHavisham,\'Isaid,whenhercryhaddiedaway,`youmaydismissmefromyourmindandconscience。ButEstellaisadifferentcase,andifyoucaneverundoanyscrapofwhatyouhavedoneamissinkeepingapartofherrightnatureawayfromher,itwillbebettertodothat,thantobemoanthepastthroughahundredyears。\'
`Yes,yes,Iknowit。But,Pip-myDear!\'Therewasanearnestwomanlycompassionformeinhernewaffection。`MyDear!Believethis:whenshefirstcametome,Imeanttosaveherfrommiserylikemyown。AtfirstImeantnomore。\'
`Well,well!\'saidI。`Ihopeso。\'
`Butasshegrew,andpromisedtobeverybeautiful,Igraduallydidworse,andwithmypraises,andwithmyjewels,andwithmyteachings,andwiththisfigureofmyselfalwaysbeforeherawarningtobackandpointmylessons,Istoleherheartawayandputiceinitsplace。\'
`Better,\'Icouldnothelpsaying,`tohaveleftheranaturalheart,eventobebruisedorbroken。\'
Withthat,MissHavishamlookeddistractedlyatmeforawhile,andthenburstoutagain,Whathadshedone!
`Ifyouknewallmystory,\'shepleaded,`youwouldhavesomecompassionformeandabetterunderstandingofme。\'
`MissHavisham,\'Ianswered,asdelicatelyasIcould,`IbelieveI
maysaythatIdoknowyourstory,andhaveknowniteversinceIfirstleftthisneighbourhood。Ithasinspiredmewithgreatcommiseration,andIhopeIunderstanditanditsinfluences。DoeswhathaspassedbetweenusgivemeanyexcuseforaskingyouaquestionrelativetoEstella?Notassheis,butasshewaswhenshefirstcamehere?\'
Shewasseatedontheground,withherarmsontheraggedchair,andherheadleaningonthem。ShelookedfullatmewhenIsaidthis,andreplied,`Goon。\'
`WhosechildwasEstella?\'
Sheshookherhead。
`Youdon\'tknow?\'
Sheshookherheadagain。
`ButMrJaggersbroughtherhere,orsentherhere?\'
`Broughtherhere。\'
`Willyoutellmehowthatcameabout?\'
Sheansweredinalowwhisperandwithcaution:`IhadbeenshutupintheseroomsalongtimeIdon\'tknowhowlong;youknowwhattimetheclockskeephere,whenItoldhimthatIwantedalittlegirltorearandlove,andsavefrommyfate。IhadfirstseenhimwhenIsentforhimtolaythisplacewasteforme;havingreadofhiminthenewspapers,beforeIandtheworldparted。Hetoldmethathewouldlookabouthimforsuchanorphanchild。Onenighthebroughtherhereasleep,andIcalledherEstella。\'
`MightIaskheragethen?\'
`Twoorthree。Sheherselfknowsnothing,butthatshewasleftanorphanandIadoptedher。\'
SoconvincedIwasofthatwoman\'sbeinghermother,thatIwantednoevidencetoestablishthefactinmyownmind。But,toanymind,Ithought,theconnectionherewasclearandstraight。
WhatmorecouldIhopetodobyprolongingtheinterview?IhadsucceededonbehalfofHerbert,MissHavishamhadtoldmeallsheknewofEstella,IhadsaidanddonewhatIcouldtoeasehermind。Nomatterwithwhatotherwordsweparted;weparted。
TwilightwasclosinginwhenIwentdownstairsintothenaturalair。
IcalledtothewomanwhohadopenedthegatewhenIentered,thatIwouldnottroubleherjustyet,butwouldwalkroundtheplacebeforeleaving。
For,IhadapresentimentthatIshouldneverbethereagain,andIfeltthatthedyinglightwassuitedtomylastviewofit。
BythewildernessofcasksthatIhadwalkedonlongago,andonwhichtherainofyearshadfallensince,rottingtheminmanyplaces,andleavingminiatureswampsandpoolsofwateruponthosethatstoodonend,Imademywaytotheruinedgarden。Iwentallroundit;roundbythecornerwhereHerbertandIhadfoughtourbattle;roundbythepathswhereEstellaandIhadwalked。Socold,solonely,sodrearyall!
Takingthebreweryonmywayback,Iraisedtherustylatchofalittledooratthegardenendofit,andwalkedthrough。Iwasgoingoutattheoppositedoor-noteasytoopennow,forthedampwoodhadstartedandswelled,andthehingeswereyielding,andthethresholdwasencumberedwithagrowthoffungus-whenIturnedmyheadtolookback。Achildishassociationrevivedwithwonderfulforceinthemomentoftheslightaction,andIfanciedthatIsawMissHavishamhangingtothebeam。Sostrongwastheimpression,thatIstoodunderthebeamshudderingfromheadtofootbeforeIknewitwasafancy-thoughtobesureIwasthereinaninstant。
Themournfulnessoftheplaceandtime,andthegreatterrorofthisillusion,thoughitwasbutmomentary,causedmetofeelanindescribableaweasIcameoutbetweentheopenwoodengateswhereIhadoncewrungmyhairafterEstellahadwrungmyheart。Passingonintothefrontcourt-yard,Ihesitatedwhethertocallthewomantoletmeoutatthelockedgateofwhichshehadthekey,orfirsttogoup-stairsandassuremyselfthatMissHavishamwasassafeandwellasIhadlefther。Itookthelattercourseandwentup。
IlookedintotheroomwhereIhadlefther,andIsawherseatedintheraggedchairuponthehearthclosetothefire,withherbacktowardsme。InthemomentwhenIwaswithdrawingmyheadtogoquietlyaway,I
sawagreatflaminglightspringup。Inthesamemoment,Isawherrunningatme,shrieking,withawhirloffireblazingallabouther,andsoaringatleastasmanyfeetaboveherheadasshewashigh。
Ihadadouble-capedgreat-coaton,andovermyarmanotherthickcoat。
ThatIgotthemoff,closedwithher,threwherdown,andgotthemoverher;thatIdraggedthegreatclothfromthetableforthesamepurpose,andwithitdraggeddowntheheapofrottennessinthemidst,andalltheuglythingsthatshelteredthere;thatwewereonthegroundstrugglinglikedesperateenemies,andthatthecloserIcoveredher,themorewildlysheshriekedandtriedtofreeherself;thatthisoccurredIknewthroughtheresult,butnotthroughanythingIfelt,orthought,orknewIdid。
IknewnothinguntilIknewthatwewereonthefloorbythegreattable,andthatpatchesoftinderyetalightwerefloatinginthesmokyair,which,amomentago,hadbeenherfadedbridaldress。
Then,Ilookedroundandsawthedisturbedbeetlesandspidersrunningawayoverthefloor,andtheservantscominginwithbreathlesscriesatthedoor。Istillheldherforciblydownwithallmystrength,likeaprisonerwhomightescape;andIdoubtifIevenknewwhoshewas,orwhywehadstruggled,orthatshehadbeeninflames,orthattheflameswereout,untilIsawthepatchesoftinderthathadbeenhergarments,nolongeralightbutfallinginablackshoweraroundus。
Shewasinsensible,andIwasafraidtohavehermoved,oreventouched。
AssistancewassentforandIheldheruntilitcame,asifIunreasonablyfanciedIthinkIdidthatifIlethergo,thefirewouldbreakoutagainandconsumeher。WhenIgotup,onthesurgeon\'scomingtoherwithotheraid,Iwasastonishedtoseethatbothmyhandswereburnt;for,Ihadnoknowledgeofitthroughthesenseoffeeling。
Onexaminationitwaspronouncedthatshehadreceivedserioushurts,butthattheyofthemselveswerefarfromhopeless;thedangerlaymainlyinthenervousshock。Bythesurgeon\'sdirections,herbedwascarriedintothatroomandlaiduponthegreattable:whichhappenedtobewellsuitedtothedressingofherinjuries。WhenIsawheragain,anhourafterwards,shelayindeedwhereIhadseenherstrikeherstick,andhadheardhersaythatshewouldlieoneday。
Thougheveryvestigeofherdresswasburnt,astheytoldme,shestillhadsomethingofheroldghastlybridalappearance;for,theyhadcoveredhertothethroatwithwhitecotton-wool,andasshelaywithawhitesheetlooselyoverlyingthat,thephantomairofsomethingthathadbeenandwaschanged,wasstilluponher。
Ifound,onquestioningtheservants,thatEstellawasinParis,andIgotapromisefromthesurgeonthathewouldwritetoherbythenextpost。MissHavisham\'sfamilyItookuponmyself;intendingtocommunicatewithMrMatthewPocketonly,andleavehimtodoashelikedaboutinformingtherest。ThisIdidnextday,throughHerbert,assoonasIreturnedtotown。
Therewasastage,thatevening,whenshespokecollectedlyofwhathadhappened,thoughwithacertainterriblevivacity。Towardsmidnightshebegantowanderinherspeech,andafterthatitgraduallysetinthatshesaidinnumerabletimesinalowsolemnvoice,`WhathaveIdone!\'Andthen,`Whenshefirstcame,Imeanttosaveherfrommiserylikemine。\'
Andthen,`Takethepencilandwriteundermyname,\"Iforgiveher!\"\'Sheneverchangedtheorderofthesethreesentences,butshesometimesleftoutawordinoneorotherofthem;neverputtinginanotherword,butalwaysleavingablankandgoingontothenextword。
AsIcoulddonoservicethere,andasIhad,nearerhome,thatpressingreasonforanxietyandfearwhichevenherwanderingscouldnotdriveoutofmymind,IdecidedinthecourseofthenightthatIwouldreturnbytheearlymorningcoach:walkingonamileorso,andbeingtakenupclearofthetown。Ataboutsixo\'clockofthemorning,therefore,Ileanedoverherandtouchedherlipswithmine,justastheysaid,notstoppingforbeingtouched,`Takethepencilandwriteundermyname,\"Iforgiveher。\"\'
Chapter50
MYhandshadbeendressedtwiceorthriceinthenight,andagaininthemorning。Myleftarmwasagooddealburnedtotheelbow,and,lessseverely,ashighastheshoulder;itwasverypainful,buttheflameshadsetinthatdirection,andIfeltthankfulitwasnoworse。MyrighthandwasnotsobadlyburntbutthatIcouldmovethefingers。Itwasbandaged,ofcourse,butmuchlessinconvenientlythanmylefthandandarm;thoseIcarriedinasling;andIcouldonlywearmycoatlikeacloak,looseovermyshouldersandfastenedattheneck。Myhairhadbeencaughtbythefire,butnotmyheadorface。
WhenHerberthadbeendowntoHammersmithandseenhisfather,hecamebackmeatourchambers,anddevotedthedaytoattendingonme。Hewasthekindestofnurses,andatstatedtimestookoffthebandages,andsteepedtheminthecoolingliquidthatwaskeptready,andputthemonagain,withapatienttendernessthatIwasdeeplygratefulfor。
Atfirst,asIlayquietonthesofa,Ifounditpainfullydifficult,Imightsayimpossible,togetridoftheimpressionoftheglareoftheflames,theirhurryandnoise,andthefierceburningsmell。IfIdozedforaminute,IwasawakenedbyMissHavisham\'scries,andbyherrunningatmewithallthatheightoffireaboveherhead。ThispainofthemindwasmuchhardertostriveagainstthananybodilypainIsuffered;andHerbert,seeingthat,didhisutmosttoholdmyattentionengaged。
Neitherofusspokeoftheboat,butweboththoughtofit。Thatwasmadeapparentbyouravoidanceofthesubject,andbyouragreeing-withoutagreement-tomakemyrecoveryoftheuseofmyhands,aquestionofsomanyhours,notofsomanyweeks。
MyfirstquestionwhenIsawHerberthadbeenofcourse,whetherallwaswelldowntheriver?Asherepliedintheaffirmative,withperfectconfidenceandcheerfulness,wedidnotresumethesubjectuntilthedaywaswearingaway。Butthen,asHerbertchangedthebandages,morebythelightofthefirethanbytheouterlight,hewentbacktoitspontaneously。
`IsatwithProvislastnight,Handel,twogoodhours。\'
`WherewasClara?\'
`Dearlittlething!\'saidHerbert。`ShewasupanddownwithGruffandgrimalltheevening。Hewasperpetuallypeggingatthefloor,themomentshelefthissight。Idoubtifhecanholdoutlongthough。Whatwithrumandpepper-andpepperandrum-Ishouldthinkhispeggingmustbenearlyover。\'
`Andthenyouwillbemarried,Herbert?\'
`HowcanItakecareofthedearchildotherwise?-Layyourarmoutuponthebackofthesofa,mydearboy,andI\'llsitdownhere,andgetthebandageoffsograduallythatyoushallnotknowwhenitcomes。IwasspeakingofProvis。Doyouknow,Handel,heimproves?\'
`IsaidtoyouIthoughthewassoftenedwhenIlastsawhim。\'
`Soyoudid。Andsoheis。Hewasverycommunicativelastnight,andtoldmemoreofhislife。Yourememberhisbreakingoffhereaboutsomewomanthathehadhadgreattroublewith-DidIhurtyou?\'
Ihadstarted,butnotunderhistouch。Hiswordshadgivenmeastart。
`Ihadforgottenthat,Herbert,butIrememberitnowyouspeakofit。\'
`Well!Hewentintothatpartofhislife,andadarkwildpartitis。
ShallItellyou?Orwoulditworryyoujustnow?\'
`Tellmebyallmeans。Everyword。\'
Herbertbentforwardtolookatmemorenearly,asifmyreplyhadbeenrathermorehurriedormoreeagerthanhecouldquiteaccountfor。`Yourheadiscool?\'hesaid,touchingit。
`Quite,\'saidI。`TellmewhatProvissaid,mydearHerbert。\'
`Itseems,\'saidHerbert,`-there\'sabandageoffmostcharmingly,andnowcomesthecoolone-makesyoushrinkatfirst,mypoordearfellow,don\'tit?butitwillbecomfortablepresently-itseemsthatthewomanwasayoungwoman,andajealouswoman,andarevengefulwoman;revengeful,Handel,tothelastdegree。\'
`Towhatlastdegree?\'
`Murder-Doesitstriketoocoldonthatsensitiveplace?\'
`Idon\'tfeelit。Howdidshemurder?Whomdidshemurder?\'`Why,thedeedmaynothavemeritedquitesoterribleaname,\'saidHerbert,`but,shewastriedforit,andMrJaggersdefendedher,andthereputationofthatdefencefirstmadehisnameknowntoProvis。Itwasanotherandastrongerwomanwhowasthevictim,andtherehadbeenastruggle-inabarn。Whobeganit,orhowfairitwas,orhowunfair,maybedoubtful;
buthowitended,iscertainlynotdoubtful,forthevictimwasfoundthrottled。\'
`Wasthewomanbroughtinguilty?\'
`No;shewasacquitted-MypoorHandel,Ihurtyou!\'
`Itisimpossibletobegentler,Herbert。Yes?Whatelse?\'
`ThisacquittedyoungwomanandProvishadalittlechild:alittlechildofwhomProviswasexceedinglyfond。OntheeveningoftheverynightwhentheobjectofherjealousywasstrangledasItellyou,theyoungwomanpresentedherselfbeforeProvisforonemoment,andsworethatshewoulddestroythechildwhichwasinherpossession,andheshouldneverseeitagain;then,shevanished-There\'stheworstarmcomfortablyintheslingoncemore,andnowthereremainsbuttherighthand,whichisafareasierjob。Icandoitbetterbythislightthanbyastronger,formyhandissteadiestwhenIdon\'tseethepoorblisteredpatchestoodistinctly-Youdon\'tthinkyourbreathingisaffected,mydearboy?
Youseemtobreathequickly。\'
`PerhapsIdo,Herbert。Didthewomankeepheroath?\'
`TherecomesthedarkestpartofProvis\'slife。Shedid。\'
`Thatis,hesaysshedid。\'
`Why,ofcourse,mydearboy,\'returnedHerbert,inatoneofsurprise,andagainbendingforwardtogetanearerlookatme。`Hesaysitall。
Ihavenootherinformation。\'
`No,tobesure。\'
`Now,whether,\'pursuedHerbert,`hehadusedthechild\'smotherill,orwhetherhehadusedthechild\'smotherwell,Provisdoesn\'tsay;but,shehadsharedsomefourorfiveyearsofthewretchedlifehedescribedtousatthisfireside,andheseemstohavefeltpityforher,andforbearancetowardsher。Therefore,fearingheshouldbecalledupontodeposeaboutthisdestroyedchild,andsobethecauseofherdeath,hehidhimselfmuchashegrievedforthechild,kepthimselfdark,ashesays,outofthewayandoutofthetrial,andwasonlyvaguelytalkedofasacertainmancalledAbel,outofwhomthejealousyarose。Aftertheacquittalshedisappeared,andthushelostthechildandthechild\'smother。\'
`Iwanttoask——\'
`Amoment,mydearboy,andIhavedone。Thatevilgenius,Compeyson,theworstofscoundrelsamongmanyscoundrels,knowingofhiskeepingoutofthewayatthattime,andofhisreasonsfordoingso,ofcourseafterwardsheldtheknowledgeoverhisheadasameansofkeepinghimpoorer,andworkinghimharder。ItwasclearlastnightthatthisbarbedthepointofProvis\'sanimosity。\'
`Iwanttoknow,\'saidI,`andparticularly,Herbert,whetherhetoldyouwhenthishappened?\'
`Particularly?Letmeremember,then,whathesaidastothat。Hisexpressionwas,\"aroundscoreo\'yearago,anda\'mostdirectlyafterItookupwi\'
Compeyson。\"Howoldwereyouwhenyoucameuponhiminthelittlechurchyard?\'
`Ithinkinmyseventhyear。\'
`Ay。Ithadhappenedsomethreeorfouryearsthen,hesaid,andyoubroughtintohismindthelittlegirlsotragicallylost,whowouldhavebeenaboutyourage。\'
`Herbert,\'saidI,afterashortsilence,inahurriedway,`canyouseemebestbythelightofthewindow,orthelightofthefire?\'
`Bythefirelight,\'answeredHerbert,comingcloseagain。
`Lookatme。\'
`Idolookatyou,mydearboy。\'
`Touchme。\'
`Idotouchyou,mydearboy。\'
`YouarenotafraidthatIaminanyfever,orthatmyheadismuchdisorderedbytheaccidentoflastnight?\'
`N-no,mydearboy,\'saidHerbert,aftertakingtimetoexamineme。
`Youareratherexcited,butyouarequiteyourself。\'
`IknowIamquitemyself。Andthemanwehaveinhidingdowntheriver,isEstella\'sFather。\'
Chapter51
WHATpurposeIhadinviewwhenIwashotontracingoutandprovingEstella\'sparentage,Icannotsay。Itwillpresentlybeseenthatthequestionwasnotbeforemeinadistinctshape,untilitwasputbeforemebyawiserheadthanmyown。
But,whenHerbertandIhadheldourmomentousconversation,IwasseizedwithafeverishconvictionthatIoughttohuntthematterdown-thatIoughtnottoletitrest,butthatIoughttoseeMrJaggers,andcomeatthebaretruth。IreallydonotknowwhetherIfeltthatIdidthisforEstella\'ssake,orwhetherIwasgladtotransfertothemaninwhosepreservationIwassomuchconcerned,someraysoftheromanticinterestthathadsolongsurroundedher。Perhapsthelatterpossibilitymaybethenearertothetruth。
Anyway,IcouldscarcelybewithheldfromgoingouttoGerrard-streetthatnight。Herbert\'srepresentationsthatifIdid,Ishouldprobablybelaidupandstrickenuseless,whenourfugitive\'ssafetywoulddependuponme,alonerestrainedmyimpatience。Ontheunderstanding,againandagainreiterated,thatcomewhatwould,IwastogotoMrJaggersto-morrow,Iatlengthsubmittedtokeepquiet,andtohavemyhurtslookedafter,andtostayathome。Earlynextmorningwewentouttogether,andatthecornerofGiltspur-streetbySmithfield,IleftHerberttogohiswayintotheCity,andtookmywaytoLittleBritain。
TherewereperiodicaloccasionswhenMrJaggersandWemmickwentovertheofficeaccounts,andcheckedoffthevouchers,andputallthingsstraight。
OntheseoccasionsWemmicktookhisbooksandpapersintoMrJaggers\'sroom,andoneoftheup-stairsclerkscamedownintotheouteroffice。
FindingsuchclerkonWemmick\'spostthatmorning,Iknewwhatwasgoingon;but,IwasnotsorrytohaveMrJaggersandWemmicktogether,asWemmickwouldthenhearforhimselfthatIsaidnothingtocompromisehim。
Myappearancewithmyarmbandagedandmycoatlooseovermyshoulders,favouredmyobject。AlthoughIhadsentMrJaggersabriefaccountoftheaccidentassoonasIhadarrivedintown,yetIhadtogivehimallthedetailsnow;andthespecialityoftheoccasioncausedourtalktobelessdryandhard,andlessstrictlyregulatedbytherulesofevidence,thanithadbeenbefore。WhileIdescribedthedisaster,MrJaggersstood,accordingtohiswont,beforethefire。Wemmickleanedbackinhischair,staringatme,withhishandsinthepocketsofhistrousers,andhispenputhorizontallyintothepost。Thetwobrutalcasts,alwaysinseparableinmymindfromtheofficialproceedings,seemedtobecongestivelyconsideringwhethertheydidn\'tsmellfireatthepresentmoment。
Mynarrativefinished,andtheirquestionsexhausted,IthenproducedMissHavisham\'sauthoritytoreceivetheninehundredpoundsforHerbert。
MrJaggers\'seyesretiredalittledeeperintohisheadwhenIhandedhimthetablets,buthepresentlyhandedthemovertoWemmick,withinstructionstodrawthechequeforhissignature。Whilethatwasincourseofbeingdone,IlookedonatWemmickashewrote,andMrJaggers,poisingandswayinghimselfonhiswell-polishedboots,lookedonatme。`Iamsorry,Pip,\'
saidhe,asIputthechequeinmypocket,whenhehadsignedit,`thatwedonothingforyou。\'
`MissHavishamwasgoodenoughtoaskme,\'Ireturned,`whethershecoulddonothingforme,andItoldherNo。\'
`Everybodyshouldknowhisownbusiness,\'saidMrJaggers。AndIsawWemmick\'slipsformthewords`portableproperty。\'
`IshouldnothavetoldherNo,ifIhadbeenyou,\'saidMrJaggers;
`buteverymanoughttoknowhisownbusinessbest。\'
`Everyman\'sbusiness,\'saidWemmick,ratherreproachfullytowardsme,`isportableproperty。\'
AsIthoughtthetimewasnowcomeforpursuingthethemeIhadatheart,Isaid,turningonMrJaggers:
`IdidasksomethingofMissHavisham,however,sir。Iaskedhertogivemesomeinformationrelativetoheradopteddaughter,andshegavemeallshepossessed。\'
`Didshe?\'saidMrJaggers,bendingforwardtolookathisbootsandthenstraighteninghimself。`Hah!Idon\'tthinkIshouldhavedoneso,ifIhadbeenMissHavisham。Butsheoughttoknowherownbusinessbest。\'
`IknowmoreofthehistoryofMissHavisham\'sadoptedchild,thanMissHavishamherselfdoes,sir。Iknowhermother。\'
MrJaggerslookedatmeinquiringly,andrepeated`Mother?\'
`Ihaveseenhermotherwithinthesethreedays。\'
`Yes?\'saidMrJaggers。
`Andsohaveyou,sir。Andyouhaveseenherstillmorerecently。\'
`Yes?\'saidMrJaggers。
`PerhapsIknowmoreofEstella\'shistorythanevenyoudo,\'saidI。
`Iknowherfathertoo。\'
AcertainstopthatMrJaggerscametoinhismanner-hewastooself-possessedtochangehismanner,buthecouldnothelpitsbeingbroughttoanindefinablyattentivestop-assuredmethathedidnotknowwhoherfatherwas。ThisIhadstronglysuspectedfromProvis\'saccountasHerberthadrepeateditofhishavingkepthimselfdark;whichIpiecedontothefactthathehimselfwasnotMrJaggers\'sclientuntilsomefouryearslater,andwhenhecouldhavenoreasonforclaiminghisidentity。But,IcouldnotbesureofthisunconsciousnessonMrJaggers\'spartbefore,thoughIwasquitesureofitnow。
`So!Youknowtheyounglady\'sfather,Pip?\'saidMrJaggers。
`Yes,\'Ireplied,`andhisnameisProvis-fromNewSouthWales。\'
EvenMrJaggersstartedwhenIsaidthosewords。Itwastheslighteststartthatcouldescapeaman,themostcarefullyrepressedandthesoonestchecked,buthedidstart,thoughhemadeitapartoftheactionoftakingouthispocket-handkerchief。HowWemmickreceivedtheannouncementIamunabletosay,forIwasafraidtolookathimjustthen,lestMrJaggers\'ssharpnessshoulddetectthattherehadbeensomecommunicationunknowntohimbetweenus。
`Andonwhatevidence,Pip,\'askedMr。Jaggers,verycoolly,ashepausedwithhishandkerchiefhalfwaytohisnose,`doesProvismakethisclaim?\'
`Hedoesnotmakeit,\'saidI,`andhasnevermadeit,andhasnoknowledgeorbeliefthathisdaughterisinexistence。\'
Foronce,thepowerfulpocket-handkerchieffailed。MyreplywassounexpectedthatMrJaggersputthehandkerchiefbackintohispocketwithoutcompletingtheusualperformance,foldedhisarms,andlookedwithsternattentionatme,thoughwithanimmovableface。
ThenItoldhimallIknew,andhowIknewit;withtheonereservationthatIlefthimtoinferthatIknewfromMissHavishamwhatIinfactknewfromWemmick。Iwasverycarefulindeedastothat。Nor,didIlooktowardsWemmickuntilIhadfinishedallIhadtotell,andhadbeenforsometimesilentlymeetingMrJaggers\'slook。WhenIdidatlastturnmyeyesinWemmick\'sdirection,Ifoundthathehadunpostedhispen,andwasintentuponthetablebeforehim。
`Hah!\'saidMrJaggersatlast,ashemovedtowardsthepapersonthetable,`-Whatitemwasityouwereat,Wemmick,whenMr。Pipcamein?\'
ButIcouldnotsubmittobethrownoffinthatway,andImadeapassionate,almostanindignant,appealtohimtobemorefrankandmanlywithme。
IremindedhimofthefalsehopesintowhichIhadlapsed,thelengthoftimetheyhadlasted,andthediscoveryIhadmade:andIhintedatthedangerthatweigheduponmyspirits。Irepresentedmyselfasbeingsurelyworthyofsomelittleconfidencefromhim,inreturnfortheconfidenceIhadjustnowimparted。IsaidthatIdidnotblamehim,orsuspecthim,ormistrusthim,butIwantedassuranceofthetruthfromhim。AndifheaskedmewhyIwanteditandwhyIthoughtIhadanyrighttoit,Iwouldtellhim,littleashecaredforsuchpoordreams,thatIhadlovedEstelladearlyandlong,andthat,althoughIhadlostherandmustliveabereavedlife,whateverconcernedherwasstillneareranddearertomethananythingelseintheworld。AndseeingthatMrJaggersstoodquitestillandsilent,andapparentlyquiteobdurate,underthisappeal,IturnedtoWemmick,andsaid,`Wemmick,Iknowyoutobeamanwithagentleheart。Ihaveseenyourpleasanthome,andyouroldfather,andalltheinnocentcheerfulplayfulwayswithwhichyourefreshyourbusinesslife。AndIentreatyoutosayawordformetoMrJaggers,andtorepresenttohimthat,allcircumstancesconsidered,heoughttobemoreopenwithme!\'
IhaveneverseentwomenlookmoreoddlyatoneanotherthanMrJaggersandWemmickdidafterthisapostrophe。Atfirst,amisgivingcrossedmethatWemmickwouldbeinstantlydismissedfromhisemployment;but,itmeltedasIsawMrJaggersrelaxintosomethinglikeasmile,andWemmickbecomebolder。
`What\'sallthis?\'saidMrJaggers。`Youwithanoldfather,andyouwithpleasantandplayfulways?\'
`Well!\'returnedWemmick。`IfIdon\'tbring\'emhere,whatdoesitmatter?\'
`Pip,\'saidMrJaggers,layinghishanduponmyarm,andsmilingopenly,`thismanmustbethemostcunningimpostorinallLondon。\'
`Notabitofit,\'returnedWemmick,growingbolderandbolder。`Ithinkyou\'reanother。\'
Againtheyexchangedtheirformeroddlooks,eachapparentlystilldistrustfulthattheotherwastakinghimin。
`Youwithapleasanthome?\'saidMrJaggers。
`Sinceitdon\'tinterferewithbusiness,\'returnedWemmick,`letitbeso。Now,Ilookatyou,sir,Ishouldn\'twonderifyoumightbeplanningandcontrivingtohaveapleasanthomeofyourown,oneofthesedays,whenyou\'retiredofallthiswork。\'
MrJaggersnoddedhisheadretrospectivelytwoorthreetimes,andactuallydrewasigh。`Pip,\'saidhe,`wewon\'ttalkabout\"poordreams;\"youknowmoreaboutsuchthingsthanI,havingmuchfresherexperienceofthatkind。
Butnow,aboutthisothermatter。I\'llputacasetoyou。Mind!Iadmitnothing。\'
HewaitedformetodeclarethatIquiteunderstoodthatheexpresslysaidthatheadmittednothing。
`Now,Pip,\'saidMrJaggers,`putthiscase。Putthecasethatawoman,undersuchcircumstancesasyouhavementioned,heldherchildconcealed,andwasobligedtocommunicatethefacttoherlegaladviser,onhisrepresentingtoherthathemustknow,withaneyetothelatitudeofhisdefence,howthefactstoodaboutthatchild。Putthecasethatatthesametimeheheldatrusttofindachildforaneccentricrichladytoadoptandbringup。\'
`Ifollowyou,sir。\'
`Putthecasethathelivedinanatmosphereofevil,andthatallhesawofchildren,was,theirbeinggeneratedingreatnumbersforcertaindestruction。Putthecasethatheoftensawchildrensolemnlytriedatacriminalbar,wheretheywerehelduptobeseen;putthecasethathehabituallyknewoftheirbeingimprisoned,whipped,transported,neglected,castout,qualifiedinallwaysforthehangman,andgrowinguptobehanged。
Putthecasethatprettynighallthechildrenhesawinhisdailybusinesslife,hehadreasontolookuponassomuchspawn,todevelopintothefishthatweretocometohisnet-tobeprosecuted,defended,forsworn,madeorphans,bedevilledsomehow。\'
`Ifollowyou,sir。\'
`Putthecase,Pip,thatherewasoneprettylittlechildoutoftheheap,whocouldbesaved;whomthefatherbelieveddead,anddaredmakenostirabout;astowhom,overthemother,thelegaladviserhadthispower:\"Iknowwhatyoudid,andhowyoudidit。Youcamesoandso,thiswasyourmannerofattackandthisthemannerofresistance,youwentsoandso,youdidsuchandsuchthingstodivertsuspicion。Ihavetrackedyouthroughitall,andItellityouall。Partwiththechild,unlessitshouldbenecessarytoproduceittoclearyou,andthenitshallbeproduced。Givethechildintomyhands,andIwilldomybesttobringyouoff。Ifyouaresaved,yourchildissavedtoo;ifyouarelost,yourchildisstillsaved。\"Putthecasethatthiswasdone,andthatthewomanwascleared。\'
`Iunderstandyouperfectly。\'
`ButthatImakenoadmissions?\'
`Thatyoumakenoadmissions。\'AndWemmickrepeated,`Noadmissions。\'
`Putthecase,Pip,thatpassionandtheterrorofdeathhadalittleshakenthewoman\'sintellects,andthatwhenshewassetatliberty,shewasscaredoutofthewaysoftheworldandwenttohimtobesheltered。
Putthecasethathetookherin,andthathekeptdowntheoldwildviolentnaturewheneverhesawaninklingofitsbreakingout,byassertinghispoweroverherintheoldway。Doyoucomprehendtheimaginarycase?\'
`Quite。\'
`Putthecasethatthechildgrewup,andwasmarriedformoney。Thatthemotherwasstillliving。Thatthefatherwasstillliving。Thatthemotherandfatherunknowntooneanother,weredwellingwithinsomanymiles,furlongs,yardsifyoulike,ofoneanother。Thatthesecretwasstillasecret,exceptthatyouhadgotwindofit。Putthatlastcasetoyourselfverycarefully。\'
`Ido。\'
`IaskWemmicktoputittohimselfverycarefully。\'
AndWemmicksaid,`Ido。\'
`Forwhosesakewouldyourevealthesecret?Forthefather\'s?Ithinkhewouldnotbemuchthebetterforthemother。Forthemother\'s?Ithinkifshehaddonesuchadeedshewouldbesaferwhereshewas。Forthedaughter\'s?
Ithinkitwouldhardlyserveher,toestablishherparentagefortheinformationofherhusband,andtodragherbacktodisgrace,afteranescapeoftwentyyears,prettysecuretolastforlife。But,addthecasethatyouhadlovedher,Pip,andhadmadeherthesubjectofthose\"poordreams\"whichhave,atonetimeoranother,beenintheheadsofmorementhanyouthinklikely,thenItellyouthatyouhadbetter-andwouldmuchsoonerwhenyouhadthoughtwellofit-chopoffthatbandagedlefthandofyourswithyourbandagedrighthand,andthenpassthechopperontoWemmickthere,tocutthatoff,too。\'
IlookedatWemmick,whosefacewasverygrave。Hegravelytouchedhislipswithhisforefinger。Ididthesame。MrJaggersdidthesame。`Now,Wemmick,\'saidthelatterthen,resuminghisusualmanner,`whatitemwasityouwereat,whenMrPipcamein?\'
Standingbyforalittle,whiletheywereatwork,Iobservedthattheoddlookstheyhadcastatoneanotherwererepeatedseveraltimes:withthisdifferencenow,thateachofthemseemedsuspicious,nottosayconscious,ofhavingshownhimselfinaweakandunprofessionallighttotheother。
Forthisreason,Isuppose,theywerenowinflexiblewithoneanother;
MrJaggersbeinghighlydictatorial,andWemmickobstinatelyjustifyinghimselfwhenevertherewasthesmallestpointinabeyanceforamoment。
Ihadneverseenthemonsuchillterms;forgenerallytheygotonverywellindeedtogether。
But,theywerebothhappilyrelievedbytheopportuneappearanceofMike,theclientwiththefurcapandthehabitofwipinghisnoseonhissleeve,whomIhadseenontheveryfirstdayofmyappearancewithinthosewalls。Thisindividual,who,eitherinhisownpersonorinthatofsomememberofhisfamily,seemedtobealwaysintroublewhichinthatplacemeantNewgate,calledtoannouncethathiseldestdaughterwastakenuponsuspicionofshop-lifting。AsheimpartedthismelancholycircumstancetoWemmick,MrJaggersstandingmagisteriallybeforethefireandtakingnoshareintheproceedings,Mike\'seyehappenedtotwinklewithatear。
`Whatareyouabout?\'demandedWemmick,withtheutmostindignation。
`Whatdoyoucomesnivellingherefor?\'
`Ididn\'tgotodoit,MrWemmick。\'
`Youdid,\'saidWemmick。`Howdareyou?You\'renotinafitstatetocomehere,ifyoucan\'tcomeherewithoutsplutteringlikeabadpen。Whatdoyoumeanbyit?\'
`Amancan\'thelphisfeelings,MrWemmick,\'pleadedMike。
`Hiswhat?\'demandedWemmick,quitesavagely。`Saythatagain!\'
`Now,lookheremyman,\'saidMrJaggers,advancingastep,andpointingtothedoor。`Getoutofthisoffice。I\'llhavenofeelingshere。Getout。\'
`Itservesyouright,\'saidWemmick,`Getout。\'
SotheunfortunateMikeveryhumblywithdrew,andMrJaggersandWemmickappearedtohavere-establishedtheirgoodunderstanding,andwenttoworkagainwithanairofrefreshmentuponthemasiftheyhadjusthadlunch。
Chapter52
FROMLittleBritain,Iwent,withmychequeinmypocket,toMissSkiffins\'sbrother,theaccountant;andMissSkiffins\'sbrother,theaccountant,goingstraighttoClarriker\'sandbringingClarrikertome,Ihadthegreatsatisfactionofconcludingthatarrangement。ItwastheonlygoodthingIhaddone,andtheonlycompletedthingIhaddone,sinceIwasfirstapprisedofmygreatexpectations。
ClarrikerinformingmeonthatoccasionthattheaffairsoftheHouseweresteadilyprogressing,thathewouldnowbeabletoestablishasmallbranch-houseintheEastwhichwasmuchwantedfortheextensionofthebusiness,andthatHerbertinhisnewpartnershipcapacitywouldgooutandtakechargeofit,IfoundthatImusthavepreparedforaseparationfrommyfriend,eventhoughmyownaffairshadbeenmoresettled。AndnowindeedIfeltasifmylastanchorwerelooseningitshold,andIshouldsoonbedrivingwiththewindsandwaves。