Thewaiterreappeared。
`Lookhere，yousir。Youquiteunderstandthattheyoungladydon\'trideto-day，andthatIdineattheyounglady\'s？\'
`Quiteso，sir！\'
Whenthewaiterhadfeltmyfastcoolingtea-potwiththepalmofhishand，andhadlookedimploringlyatme，andhadgoneout，Drummle，carefulnottomovetheshouldernextme，tookacigarfromhispocketandbittheendoff，butshowednosignofstirring。ChokingandboilingasIwas，Ifeltthatwecouldnotgoawordfurther，withoutintroducingEstella\'sname，whichIcouldnotenduretohearhimutter；andthereforeIlookedstonilyattheoppositewall，asiftherewerenoonepresent，andforcedmyselftosilence。Howlongwemighthaveremainedinthisridiculouspositionitisimpossibletosay，butfortheincursionofthreethrivingfarmers-laidonbythewaiter，Ithink-whocameintothecoffee-roomunbuttoningtheirgreat-coatsandrubbingtheirhands，andbeforewhom，astheychargedatthefire，wewereobligedtogiveway。
Isawhimthroughthewindow，seizinghishorse\'smane，andmountinginhisblunderingbrutalmanner，andsidlingandbackingaway。Ithoughthewasgone，whenhecameback，callingforalightforthecigarinhismouth，whichhehadforgotten。Amaninadustcoloureddressappearedwithwhatwaswanted-Icouldnothavesaidfromwhere:whetherfromtheinnyard，orthestreet，orwherenot-andasDrummleleaneddownfromthesaddleandlightedhiscigarandlaughed，withajerkofhisheadtowardsthecoffee-roomwindows，theslouchingshouldersandraggedhairofthisman，whosebackwastowardsme，remindedmeofOrlick。
Tooheavilyoutofsortstocaremuchatthetimewhetheritwereheorno，orafteralltotouchthebreakfast，Iwashedtheweatherandthejourneyfrommyfaceandhands，andwentouttothememorableoldhousethatitwouldhavebeensomuchthebetterformenevertohaveentered，nevertohaveseen。
Chapter44
INtheroomwherethedressing-tablestood，andwherethewaxcandlesburntonthewall，IfoundMissHavishamandEstella；MissHavishamseatedonasetteenearthefire，andEstellaonacushionatherfeet。Estellawasknitting，andMissHavishamwaslookingon。TheybothraisedtheireyesasIwentin，andbothsawanalterationinme。Iderivedthat，fromthelooktheyinterchanged。
`Andwhatwind，\'saidMissHavisham，`blowsyouhere，Pip？\'
Thoughshelookedsteadilyatme，Isawthatshewasratherconfused。
Estella，pausingamomentinherknittingwithhereyesuponme，andthengoingon，IfanciedthatIreadintheactionofherfingers，asplainlyasifshehadtoldmeinthedumbalphabet，thatsheperceivedIhaddiscoveredmyrealbenefactor。
`MissHavisham，\'saidI，`IwenttoRichmondyesterday，tospeaktoEstella；andfindingthatsomewindhadblownherhere，Ifollowed。\'
MissHavishammotioningtomeforthethirdorfourthtimetositdown，Itookthechairbythedressing-table，whichIhadoftenseenheroccupy。
Withallthatruinatmyfeetandaboutme，itseemedanaturalplaceforme，thatday。
`WhatIhadtosaytoEstella，MissHavisham，Iwillsaybeforeyou，presently-inafewmoments。Itwillnotsurpriseyou，itwillnotdispleaseyou。Iamasunhappyasyoucaneverhavemeantmetobe。\'
MissHavishamcontinuedtolooksteadilyatme。IcouldseeintheactionofEstella\'sfingersastheyworked，thatsheattendedtowhatIsaid:
butshedidnotlookup。
`Ihavefoundoutwhomypatronis。Itisnotafortunatediscovery，andisnotlikelyevertoenrichmeinreputation，station，fortune，anything。
TherearereasonswhyImustsaynomoreofthat。Itisnotmysecret，butanother\'s。\'
AsIwassilentforawhile，lookingatEstellaandconsideringhowtogoon，MissHavishamrepeated，`Itisnotyoursecret，butanother\'s。
Well？\'
`Whenyoufirstcausedmetobebroughthere，MissHavisham；whenI
belongedtothevillageoveryonder，thatIwishIhadneverleft；IsupposeIdidreallycomehere，asanyotherchanceboymighthavecome-asakindofservant，togratifyawantorawhim，andtobepaidforit？\'
`Ay，Pip，\'repliedMissHavisham，steadilynoddingherhead；`youdid。\'
`AndthatMrJaggers——\'
`MrJaggers，\'saidMissHavisham，takingmeupinafirmtone，`hadnothingtodowithit，andknewnothingofit。Hisbeingmylawyer，andhisbeingthelawyerofyourpatron，isacoincidence。Heholdsthesamerelationtowardsnumbersofpeople，anditmighteasilyarise。Bethatasitmay，itdidarise，andwasnotbroughtaboutbyanyone。\'
Anyonemighthaveseeninherhaggardfacethattherewasnosuppressionorevasionsofar。
`ButwhenIfellintothemistakeIhavesolongremainedin，atleastyouledmeon？\'saidI。
`Yes，\'shereturned，againnodding，steadily，`Iletyougoon。\'
`Wasthatkind？\'
`WhoamI，\'criedMissHavisham，strikingherstickuponthefloorandflashingintowrathsosuddenlythatEstellaglancedupatherinsurprise，`whoamI，forGod\'ssake，thatIshouldbekind？\'
Itwasaweakcomplainttohavemade，andIhadnotmeanttomakeit。
Itoldherso，asshesatbroodingafterthisoutburst。
`Well，well，well！\'shesaid。`Whatelse？\'
`Iwasliberallypaidformyoldattendancehere，\'Isaid，tosootheher，`inbeingapprenticed，andIhaveaskedthesequestionsonlyformyowninformation。WhatfollowshasanotherandIhopemoredisinterested
purpose。Inhumouringmymistake，MissHavisham，youpunished-practisedon-perhapsyouwillsupplywhatevertermexpressesyourintention，withoutoffence-yourself-seekingrelations？\'
`Idid。Why，theywouldhaveitso！Sowouldyou。Whathasbeenmyhistory，thatIshouldbeatthepainsofentreatingeitherthem，oryou，nottohaveitso！Youmadeyourownsnares。Inevermadethem。\'
Waitinguntilshewasquietagain-forthis，too，flashedoutofherinawildandsuddenway-Iwenton。
`Ihavebeenthrownamongonefamilyofyourrelations，MissHavisham，andhavebeenconstantlyamongthemsinceIwenttoLondon。IknowthemtohavebeenashonestlyundermydelusionasImyself。AndIshouldbefalseandbaseifIdidnottellyou，whetheritisacceptabletoyouorno，andwhetheryouareinclinedtogivecredencetoitorno，thatyoudeeplywrongbothMrMatthewPocketandhissonHerbert，ifyousupposethemtobeotherwisethangenerous，upright，open，andincapableofanythingdesigningormean。\'
`Theyareyourfriends，\'saidMissHavisham。
`Theymadethemselvesmyfriends，\'saidI，`whentheysupposedmetohavesupersededthem；andwhenSarahPocket，MissGeorgiana，andMistressCamilla，werenotmyfriends，Ithink。\'
Thiscontrastingofthemwiththerestseemed，Iwasgladtosee，todothemgoodwithher。Shelookedatmekeenlyforalittlewhile，andthensaidquietly:
`Whatdoyouwantforthem？\'
`Only，\'saidI，`thatyouwouldnotconfoundthemwiththeothers。Theymaybeofthesameblood，but，believeme，theyarenotofthesamenature。\'
Stilllookingatmekeenly，MissHavishamrepeated:
`Whatdoyouwantforthem？\'
`Iamnotsocunning，yousee，\'Isaid，inanswer，consciousthatI
reddenedalittle，`asthatIcouldhidefromyou，evenifIdesired，thatIdowantsomething。MissHavisham，ifyouwouldsparethemoneytodomyfriendHerbertalastingserviceinlife，butwhichfromthenatureofthecasemustbedonewithouthisknowledge，Icouldshowyouhow。\'
`Whymustitbedonewithouthisknowledge？\'sheasked，settlingherhandsuponherstick，thatshemightregardmethemoreattentively。
`Because，\'saidI，`Ibegantheservicemyself，morethantwoyearsago，withouthisknowledge，andIdon\'twanttobebetrayed。WhyIfailinmyabilitytofinishit，Icannotexplain。Itisapartofthesecretwhichisanotherperson\'sandnotmine。\'
Shegraduallywithdrewhereyesfromme，andturnedthemonthefire。
Afterwatchingitforwhatappearedinthesilenceandbythelightoftheslowlywastingcandlestobealongtime，shewasrousedbythecollapseofsomeoftheredcoals，andlookedtowardsmeagain-atfirst，vacantly-then，withagraduallyconcentratingattention。Allthistime，Estellaknittedon。WhenMissHavishamhadfixedherattentiononme，shesaid，speakingasiftherehadbeennolapseinourdialogue:
`Whatelse？\'
`Estella，\'saidI，turningtohernow，andtryingtocommandmytremblingvoice，`youknowIloveyou。YouknowthatIhavelovedyoulonganddearly。\'
Sheraisedhereyestomyface，onbeingthusaddressed，andherfingerspiledtheirwork，andshelookedatmewithanunmovedcountenance。IsawthatMissHavishamglancedfrommetoher，andfromhertome。
`Ishouldhavesaidthissooner，butformylongmistake。ItinducedmetohopethatMissHavishammeantusforoneanother。WhileIthoughtyoucouldnothelpyourself，asitwere，Irefrainedfromsayingit。ButImustsayitnow。\'
Preservingherunmovedcountenance，andwithherfingersstillgoing，Estellashookherhead。
`Iknow，\'saidI，inanswertothataction；`Iknow。IhavenohopethatIshallevercallyoumine，Estella。Iamignorantwhatmaybecomeofmeverysoon，howpoorImaybe，orwhereImaygo。Still，Iloveyou。
IhavelovedyoueversinceIfirstsawyouinthishouse。\'
Lookingatmeperfectlyunmovedandwithherfingersbusy，sheshookherheadagain。
`ItwouldhavebeencruelinMissHavisham，horriblycruel，topractiseonthesusceptibilityofapoorboy，andtotorturemethroughalltheseyearswithavainhopeandanidlepursuit，ifshehadreflectedonthegravityofwhatshedid。ButIthinkshedidnot。Ithinkthatintheenduranceofherowntrial，sheforgotmine，Estella。\'
IsawMissHavishamputherhandtoherheartandholditthere，asshesatlookingbyturnsatEstellaandatme。
`Itseems，\'saidEstella，verycalmly，`thattherearesentiments，fancies-Idon\'tknowhowtocallthem-whichIamnotabletocomprehend。Whenyousayyouloveme，Iknowwhatyoumean，asaformofwords；butnothingmore。Youaddressnothinginmybreast，youtouchnothingthere。Idon\'tcareforwhatyousayatall。Ihavetriedtowarnyouofthis；now，haveInot？\'
Isaidinamiserablemanner，`Yes。\'
`Yes。Butyouwouldnotbewarned，foryouthoughtIdidnotmeanit。
Now，didyounotthinkso？\'
`Ithoughtandhopedyoucouldnotmeanit。You，soyoung，untried，andbeautiful，Estella！SurelyitisnotinNature。\'
`Itisinmynature，\'shereturned。Andthensheadded，withastressuponthewords，`Itisinthenatureformedwithinme。ImakeagreatdifferencebetweenyouandallotherpeoplewhenIsaysomuch。
Icandonomore。\'
`Isitnottrue，\'saidI，`thatBentleyDrummleisintownhere，andpursuingyou？\'
`Itisquitetrue，\'shereplied，referringtohimwiththeindifferenceofuttercontempt。
`Thatyouencouragehim，andrideoutwithhim，andthathedineswithyouthisveryday？\'
SheseemedalittlesurprisedthatIshouldknowit，butagainreplied，`Quitetrue。\'
`Youcannotlovehim，Estella！\'
Herfingersstoppedforthefirsttime，assheretortedratherangrily，`WhathaveItoldyou？Doyoustillthink，inspiteofit，thatIdonotmeanwhatIsay？\'
`Youwouldnevermarryhim，Estella？\'
ShelookedtowardsMissHavisham，andconsideredforamomentwithherworkinherhands。Thenshesaid，`Whynottellyouthetruth？Iamgoingtobemarriedtohim。\'
Idroppedmyfaceintomyhands，butwasabletocontrolmyselfbetterthanIcouldhaveexpected，consideringwhatagonyitgavemetohearhersaythosewords。WhenIraisedmyfaceagain，therewassuchaghastlylookuponMissHavisham\'s，thatitimpressedme，eveninmypassionatehurryandgrief。
`Estella，dearestdearestEstella，donotletMissHavishamleadyouintothisfatalstep。Putmeasideforever-youhavedoneso，Iwellknow-butbestowyourselfonsomeworthierpersonthanDrummle。MissHavishamgivesyoutohim，asthegreatestslightandinjurythatcouldbedonetothemanyfarbettermenwhoadmireyou，andtothefewwhotrulyloveyou。Amongthosefew，theremaybeonewholovesyouevenasdearly，thoughhehasnotlovedyouaslong，asI。Takehim，andIcanbearitbetter，foryoursake！\'
Myearnestnessawokeawonderinherthatseemedasifitwouldhavebeentouchedwithcompassion，ifshecouldhaverenderedmeatallintelligibletoherownmind。
`Iamgoing，\'shesaidagain，inagentlervoice，`tobemarriedtohim。Thepreparationsformymarriagearemaking，andIshallbemarriedsoon。Whydoyouinjuriouslyintroducethenameofmymotherbyadoption？
Itismyownact。\'
`Yourownact，Estella，toflingyourselfawayuponabrute？\'
`OnwhomshouldIflingmyselfaway？\'sheretorted，withasmile。`ShouldIflingmyselfawayuponthemanwhowouldthesoonestfeelifpeopledofeelsuchthingsthatItooknothingtohim？There！Itisdone。Ishalldowellenough，andsowillmyhusband。Astoleadingmeintowhatyoucallthisfatalstep，MissHavishamwouldhavehadmewait，andnotmarryyet；butIamtiredofthelifeIhaveled，whichhasveryfewcharmsforme，andIamwillingenoughtochangeit。Saynomore。Weshallneverunderstandeachother。\'
`Suchameanbrute，suchastupidbrute！\'Iurgedindespair。
`Don\'tbeafraidofmybeingablessingtohim，\'saidEstella；`Ishallnotbethat。Come！Hereismyhand。Dowepartonthis，youvisionaryboy-orman？\'
`OEstella！\'Ianswered，asmybittertearsfellfastonherhand，dowhatIwouldtorestrainthem；`evenifIremainedinEnglandandcouldholdmyheadupwiththerest，howcouldIseeyouDrummle\'swife？\'
`Nonsense，\'shereturned，`nonsense。Thiswillpassinnotime。\'
`Never，Estella！\'
`Youwillgetmeoutofyourthoughtsinaweek。\'
`Outofmythoughts！Youarepartofmyexistence，partofmyself。YouhavebeenineverylineIhaveeverread，sinceIfirstcamehere，theroughcommonboywhosepoorheartyouwoundedeventhen。YouhavebeenineveryprospectIhaveeverseensince-ontheriver，onthesailsoftheships，onthemarshes，intheclouds，inthelight，inthedarkness，inthewind，inthewoods，inthesea，inthestreets。Youhavebeentheembodimentofeverygracefulfancythatmymindhaseverbecomeacquaintedwith。ThestonesofwhichthestrongestLondonbuildingsaremade，arenotmorereal，ormoreimpossibletobedisplacedbyyourhands，thanyourpresenceandinfluencehavebeentome，thereandeverywhere，andwillbe。Estella，tothelasthourofmylife，youcannotchoosebutremainpartofmycharacter，partofthelittlegoodinme，partoftheevil。
But，inthisseparationIassociateyouonlywiththegood，andIwillfaithfullyholdyoutothatalways，foryoumusthavedonemefarmoregoodthanharm，letmefeelnowwhatsharpdistressImay。OGodblessyou，Godforgiveyou！\'
InwhatecstasyofunhappinessIgotthesebrokenwordsoutofmyself，Idon\'tknow。Therhapsodywelledupwithinme，likebloodfromaninwardwound，andgushedout。Iheldherhandtomylipssomelingeringmoments，andsoIlefther。Buteverafterwards，Iremembered-andsoonafterwardswithstrongerreason-thatwhileEstellalookedatmemerelywithincredulouswonder，thespectralfigureofMissHavisham，herhandstillcoveringherheart，seemedallresolvedintoaghastlystareofpityandremorse。
Alldone，allgone！Somuchwasdoneandgone，thatwhenIwentoutatthegate，thelightofthedayseemedofadarkercolourthanwhenI
wentin。Forawhile，Ihidmyselfamongsomelanesandby-paths，andthenstruckofftowalkallthewaytoLondon。For，Ihadbythattimecometomyselfsofar，astoconsiderthatIcouldnotgobacktotheinnandseeDrummlethere；thatIcouldnotbeartosituponthecoachandbespokento；thatIcoulddonothinghalfsogoodformyselfastiremyselfout。
ItwaspastmidnightwhenIcrossedLondonBridge。PursuingthenarrowintricaciesofthestreetswhichatthattimetendedwestwardneartheMiddlesexshoreoftheriver，myreadiestaccesstotheTemplewasclosebytheriver-side，throughWhitefriars。Iwasnotexpectedtillto-morrow，butIhadmykeys，and，ifHerbertweregonetobed，couldgettobedmyselfwithoutdisturbinghim。
AsitseldomhappenedthatIcameinatthatWhitefriarsgateaftertheTemplewasclosed，andasIwasverymuddyandweary，Ididnottakeitillthatthenight-porterexaminedmewithmuchattentionasheheldthegatealittlewayopenformetopassin。TohelphismemoryImentionedmyname。
`Iwasnotquitesure，sir，butIthoughtso。Here\'sanote，sir。Themessengerthatbroughtit，saidwouldyoubesogoodasreaditbymylantern？\'
Muchsurprisedbytherequest，Itookthenote。ItwasdirectedtoPhilipPip，Esquire，andonthetopofthesuperscriptionwerethewords，`PLEASE
READTHIS，HERE。\'Iopenedit，thewatchmanholdinguphislight，andreadinside，inWemmick\'swriting:
`DON\'TGOHOME。\'
Chapter45
TURNINGfromtheTemplegateassoonasIhadreadthewarning，ImadethebestofmywaytoFleet-street，andtheregotalatehackneychariotanddrovetotheHummumsinCoventGarden。Inthosetimesabedwasalwaystobegotthereatanyhourofthenight，andthechamberlain，lettingmeinathisreadywicket，lightedthecandlenextinorderonhisshelf，andshowedmestraightintothebedroomnextinorderonhislist。Itwasasortofvaultonthegroundfloorattheback，withadespoticmonsterofafour-postbedsteadinit，straddlingoverthewholeplace，puttingoneofhisarbitrarylegsintothefire-placeandanotherintothedoorway，andsqueezingthewretchedlittlewashing-standinquiteaDivinelyRighteousmanner。
AsIhadaskedforanight-light，thechamberlainhadbroughtmein，beforeheleftme，thegoodoldconstitutionalrush-lightofthosevirtuousdays-anobjectliketheghostofawalking-cane，whichinstantlybrokeitsbackifitweretouched，whichnothingcouldeverbelightedat，andwhichwasplacedinsolitaryconfinementatthebottomofahightintower，perforatedwithroundholesthatmadeastaringlywide-awakepatternonthewalls。WhenIhadgotintobed，andlaytherefootsore，weary，andwretched，IfoundthatIcouldnomoreclosemyowneyesthanIcouldclosetheeyesofthisfoolishArgus。Andthus，inthegloomanddeathofthenight，westaredatoneanother。
Whatadolefulnight！Howanxious，howdismal，howlong！Therewasaninhospitablesmellintheroom，ofcoldsootandhotdust；and，asIlookedupintothecornersofthetesterovermyhead，Ithoughtwhatanumberofblue-bottlefliesfromthebutchers\'，andearwigsfromthemarket，andgrubsfromthecountry，mustbeholdingonupthere，lyingbyfornextsummer。Thisledmetospeculatewhetheranyofthemevertumbleddown，andthenIfanciedthatIfeltlightfallsonmyface-disagreeableturnofthought，suggestingotherandmoreobjectionableapproachesupmyback。
WhenIhadlainawakealittlewhile，thoseextraordinaryvoiceswithwhichsilenceteems，begantomakethemselvesaudible。Theclosetwhispered，thefireplacesighed，thelittlewashing-standticked，andoneguitar-stringplayedoccasionallyinthechestofdrawers。Ataboutthesametime，theeyesonthewallacquiredanewexpression，andineveryoneofthosestaringroundsIsawwritten，DON\'TGOHOME。
Whatevernight-fanciesandnight-noisescrowdedonme，theyneverwardedoffthisDON\'TGOHOME。ItplaiteditselfintowhateverIthoughtof，asabodilypainwouldhavedone。Notlongbefore，Ihadreadinthenewspapers，howagentlemanunknownhadcometotheHummumsinthenight，andhadgonetobed，andhaddestroyedhimself，andhadbeenfoundinthemorningwelteringinblood。Itcameintomyheadthathemusthaveoccupiedthisveryvaultofmine，andIgotoutofbedtoassuremyselfthattherewerenoredmarksabout；thenopenedthedoortolookoutintothepassages，andcheermyselfwiththecompanionshipofadistantlight，nearwhichIknewthechamberlaintobedozing。Butallthistime，whyIwasnottogohome，andwhathadhappenedathome，andwhenIshouldgohome，andwhetherProviswassafeathome，werequestionsoccupyingmymindsobusily，thatonemighthavesupposedtherecouldbenomoreroominitforanyothertheme。EvenwhenIthoughtofEstella，andhowwehadpartedthatdayforever，andwhenIrecalledallthecircumstancesofourparting，andallherlooksandtones，andtheactionofherfingerswhilesheknitted-eventhenIwaspursuing，hereandthereandeverywhere，thecautionDon\'tgohome。WhenatlastIdozed，insheerexhaustionofmindandbody，itbecameavastshadowyverbwhichIhadtoconjugate。Imperativemood，presenttense:
Donotthougohome，lethimnotgohome，letusnotgohome，donotyeoryougohome，letnotthemgohome。Then，potentially:ImaynotandIcannotgohome；andImightnot，couldnot，wouldnot，andshouldnotgohome；untilIfeltthatIwasgoingdistracted，androlledoveronthepillow，andlookedatthestaringroundsuponthewallagain。
IhadleftdirectionsthatIwastobecalledatseven；foritwasplainthatImustseeWemmickbeforeseeinganyoneelse，andequallyplainthatthiswasacaseinwhichhisWalworthsentiments，only，couldbetaken。
Itwasarelieftogetoutoftheroomwherethenighthadbeensomiserable，andIneedednosecondknockingatthedoortostartlemefrommyuneasybed。
TheCastlebattlementsaroseuponmyviewateighto\'clock。Thelittleservanthappeningtobeenteringthefortresswithtwohotrolls，Ipassedthroughtheposternandcrossedthedrawbridge，inhercompany，andsocamewithoutannouncementintothepresenceofWemmickashewasmakingteaforhimselfandtheAged。AnopendooraffordedaperspectiveviewoftheAgedinbed。
`Halloa，MrPip！\'saidWemmick。`Youdidcomehome，then？\'
`Yes，\'Ireturned；`butIdidn\'tgohome。\'
`That\'sallright，\'saidhe，rubbinghishands。`IleftanoteforyouateachoftheTemplegates，onthechance。Whichgatedidyoucometo？\'
Itoldhim。
`I\'llgoroundtotheothersinthecourseofthedayanddestroythenotes，\'saidWemmick；`it\'sagoodrulenevertoleavedocumentaryevidenceofyoucanhelpit，becauseyoudon\'tknowwhenitmaybeputin。I\'mgoingtotakealibertywithyou-WouldyoumindtoastingthissausagefortheAgedP。？\'
IsaidIshouldbedelightedtodoit。
`Thenyoucangoaboutyourwork，MaryAnne，\'saidWemmicktothelittleservant；`whichleavesustoourselves，don\'tyousee，MrPip？\'headded，winking，asshedisappeared。
Ithankedhimforhisfriendshipandcaution，andourdiscourseproceededinalowtone，whileItoastedtheAged\'ssausageandhebutteredthecrumboftheAged\'sroll。
`Now，MrPip，youknow，\'saidWemmick，`youandIunderstandoneanother。
Weareinourprivateandpersonalcapacities，andwehavebeenengagedinaconfidentialtransactionbeforetoday。Officialsentimentsareonething。Weareextraofficial。\'
Icordiallyassented。Iwassoverynervous，thatIhadalreadylightedtheAged\'ssausagelikeatorch，andbeenobligedtoblowitout。
`Iaccidentallyheard，yesterdaymorning，\'saidWemmick，`beinginacertainplacewhereIoncetookyou-evenbetweenyouandme，it\'saswellnottomentionnameswhenavoidable——\'
`Muchbetternot，\'saidI。`Iunderstandyou。\'
`Iheardtherebychance，yesterdaymorning，\'saidWemmick，`thatacertainpersonnotaltogetherofuncolonialpursuits，andnotunpossessedofportableproperty-Idon\'tknowwhoitmayreallybe-wewon\'tnamethisperson——\'
`Notnecessary，\'saidI。
`-hadmadesomelittlestirinacertainpartoftheworldwhereagoodmanypeoplego，notalwaysingratificationoftheirowninclinations，andnotquiteirrespectiveofthegovernmentexpense——\'
Inwatchinghisface，ImadequiteafireworkoftheAged\'ssausage，andgreatlydiscomposedbothmyownattentionandWemmick\'s；forwhichIapologized。
`-bydisappearingfromsuchplace，andbeingnomoreheardofthereabouts。
Fromwhich，\'saidWemmick，`conjectureshadbeenraisedandtheoriesformed。
IalsoheardthatyouatyourchambersinGarden-court，Temple，hadbeenwatched，andmightbewatchedagain。\'
`Bywhom？\'saidI。
`Iwouldn\'tgointothat，\'saidWemmick，evasively，`itmightclashwithofficialresponsibilities。Iheardit，asIhaveinmytimeheardothercuriousthingsinthesameplace。Idon\'ttellityouoninformationreceived。Iheardit。\'
Hetookthetoasting-forkandsausagefrommeashespoke，andsetforththeAged\'sbreakfastneatlyonalittletray。Previoustoplacingitbeforehim，hewentintotheAged\'sroomwithacleanwhitecloth，andtiedthesameundertheoldgentleman\'schin，andproppedhimup，andputhisnightcapononeside，andgavehimquitearakishair。Then，heplacedhisbreakfastbeforehimwithgreatcare，andsaid，`Allright，ain\'tyou，AgedP。？\'
TowhichthecheerfulAgedreplied，`Allright，John，myboy，allright！\'
AsthereseemedtobeatacitunderstandingthattheAgedwasnotinapresentablestate，andwasthereforetobeconsideredinvisible，Imadeapretenceofbeingincompleteignoranceoftheseproceedings。
`ThiswatchingofmeatmychamberswhichIhaveoncehadreasontosuspect，\'IsaidtoWemmickwhenhecameback，`isinseparablefromthepersontowhomyouhaveadverted；isit？\'
Wemmicklookedveryserious。`Icouldn\'tundertaketosaythat，ofmyownknowledge。Imean，Icouldn\'tundertaketosayitwasatfirst。Butiteitheris，oritwillbe，orit\'singreatdangerofbeing。\'
AsIsawthathewasrestrainedbyfealtytoLittleBritainfromsayingasmuchashecould，andasIknewwiththankfulnesstohimhowfaroutofhiswayhewenttosaywhathedid，Icouldnotpresshim。ButItoldhim，afteralittlemeditationoverthefire，thatIwouldliketoaskhimaquestion，subjecttohisansweringornotanswering，ashedeemedright，andsurethathiscoursewouldberight。Hepausedinhisbreakfast，andcrossinghisarms，andpinchinghisshirt-sleeveshisnotionofindoorcomfortwastositwithoutanycoat，henoddedtomeonce，toputmyquestion。
`Youhaveheardofamanofbadcharacter，whosetruenameisCompeyson？\'
Heansweredwithoneothernod。
`Isheliving？\'
Oneothernod。
`IsheinLondon？\'
Hegavemeoneothernod，compressedthepost-officeexceedingly，gavemeonelastnod，andwentonwithhisbreakfast。
`Now，\'saidWemmick，`questioningbeingover；\'whichheemphasizedandrepeatedformyguidance；`IcometowhatIdid，afterhearingwhatIheard。
IwenttoGarden-courttofindyou；notfindingyou，IwenttoClarriker\'stofindMrHerbert。\'
`Andhimyoufound？\'saidI，withgreatanxiety。
`AndhimIfound。Withoutmentioninganynamesorgoingintoanydetails，Igavehimtounderstandthatifhewasawareofanybody-Tom，Jack，orRichard-beingaboutthechambers，orabouttheimmediateneighbourhood，hehadbettergetTom，Jack，orRichard，outofthewaywhileyouwereoutoftheway。\'
`Hewouldbegreatlypuzzledwhattodo？\'
`Hewaspuzzledwhattodo；nottheless，becauseIgavehimmyopinionthatitwasnotsafetotrytogetTom，Jack，orRichard，toofaroutofthewayatpresent。MrPip，I\'lltellyousomething。Underexistingcircumstancesthereisnoplacelikeagreatcitywhenyouareonceinit。Don\'tbreakcovertoosoon。Lieclose。Waittillthingsslacken，beforeyoutrytheopen，evenforforeignair。\'
Ithankedhimforhisvaluableadvice，andaskedhimwhatHerberthaddone？
`MrHerbert，\'saidWemmick，`afterbeingallofaheapforhalfanhour，struckoutaplan。Hementionedtomeasasecret，thatheiscourtingayoungladywhohas，asnodoubtyouareaware，abedriddenPa。WhichPa，havingbeeninthePurserlineoflife，liesa-bedinabow-windowwherehecanseetheshipssailupanddowntheriver。Youareacquaintedwiththeyounglady，mostprobably？\'
`Notpersonally，\'saidI。
Thetruthwas，thatshehadobjectedtomeasanexpensivecompanionwhodidHerbertnogood，andthat，whenHerberthadfirstproposedtopresentmetoher，shehadreceivedtheproposalwithsuchverymoderatewarmth，thatHerberthadfelthimselfobligedtoconfidethestateofthecasetome，withaviewtothelapseofalittletimebeforeImadeheracquaintance。
WhenIhadbeguntoadvanceHerbert\'sprospectsbyStealth，Ihadbeenabletobearthiswithcheerfulphilosophy；heandhisaffianced，fortheirpart，hadnaturallynotbeenveryanxioustointroduceathirdpersonintotheirinterviews；andthus，althoughIwasassuredthatIhadriseninClara\'sesteem，andalthoughtheyoungladyandIhadlongregularlyinterchangedmessagesandremembrancesbyHerbert，Ihadneverseenher。However，I
didnottroubleWemmickwiththeseparticulars。
`Thehousewiththebow-window，\'saidWemmick，`beingbytheriver-side，downthePooltherebetweenLimehouseandGreenwich，andbeingkept，itseems，byaveryrespectablewidowwhohasafurnishedupperfloortolet，MrHerbertputittome，whatdidIthinkofthatasatemporarytenementforTom，Jack，orRichard？Now，Ithoughtverywellofit，forthreereasonsI\'llgiveyou。Thatistosay。Firstly。It\'saltogetheroutofallyourbeats，andiswellawayfromtheusualheapofstreetsgreatandsmall。
Secondly。Withoutgoingnearityourself，youcouldalwayshearofthesafetyofTom，Jack，orRichard，throughMrHerbert。Thirdly。Afterawhileandwhenitmightbeprudent，ifyoushouldwanttoslipTom，Jack，orRichard，onboardaforeignpacket-boat，thereheis-ready。\'
Muchcomfortedbytheseconsiderations，IthankedWemmickagainandagain，andbeggedhimtoproceed。
`Well，sir！MrHerbertthrewhimselfintothebusinesswithawill，andbynineo\'clocklastnighthehousedTom，Jack，orRichard-whicheveritmaybe-youandIdon\'twanttoknow-quitesuccessfully。AttheoldlodgingsitwasunderstoodthathewassummonedtoDover，andinfacthewastakendowntheDoverroadandcorneredoutofit。Now，anothergreatadvantageofallthis，is，thatitwasdonewithoutyou，andwhen，ifanyonewasconcerninghimselfaboutyourmovements，youmustbeknowntobeeversomanymilesoffandquiteotherwiseengaged。Thisdivertssuspicionandconfusesit；andforthesamereasonIrecommendedthatevenifyoucamebacklastnight，youshouldnotgohome。Itbringsinmoreconfusion，andyouwantconfusion。\'
Wemmick，havingfinishedhisbreakfast，herelookedathiswatch，andbegantogethiscoaton。
`Andnow，MrPip，\'saidhe，withhishandsstillinthesleeves，`I
haveprobablydonethemostIcando；butifIcaneverdomore-fromaWalworthpointofview，andinastrictlyprivateandpersonalcapacity-Ishallbegladtodoit。Here\'stheaddress。Therecanbenoharminyourgoinghereto-nightandseeingforyourselfthatalliswellwithTom，Jack，orRichard，beforeyougohome-whichisanotherreasonforyournotgoinghomelastnight。Butafteryouhavegonehome，don\'tgobackhere。Youareverywelcome，Iamsure，MrPip；\'hishandswerenowoutofhissleeves，andIwasshakingthem；`andletmefinallyimpressoneimportantpointuponyou。\'Helaidhishandsuponmyshoulders，andaddedinasolemnwhisper:`Availyourselfofthiseveningtolayholdofhisportableproperty。Youdon\'tknowwhatmayhappentohim。Don\'tletanythinghappentotheportableproperty。\'
QuitedespairingofmakingmymindcleartoWemmickonthispoint，I
forboretotry。
`Time\'sup，\'saidWemmick，`andImustbeoff。Ifyouhadnothingmorepressingtodothantokeepheretilldark，that\'swhatIshouldadvise。
Youlookverymuchworried，anditwoulddoyougoodtohaveaperfectlyquietdaywiththeAged-he\'llbeuppresently-andalittlebitof-
yourememberthepig？\'
`Ofcourse，\'saidI。
`Well；andalittlebitofhim。Thatsausageyoutoastedwashis，andhewasinallrespectsafirst-rater。Dotryhim，ifitisonlyforoldacquaintancesake。Good-bye，AgedParent！\'inacheeryshout。
`Allright，John；allright，myboy！\'pipedtheoldmanfromwithin。
IsoonfellasleepbeforeWemmick\'sfire，andtheAgedandIenjoyedoneanother\'ssocietybyfallingasleepbeforeitmoreorlessallday。
Wehadloinofporkfordinner，andgreensgrownontheestate，andInoddedattheAgedwithagoodintentionwheneverIfailedtodoitdrowsily。
Whenitwasquitedark，IlefttheAgedpreparingthefirefortoast；andIinferredfromthenumberofteacups，aswellasfromhisglancesatthetwolittledoorsinthewall，thatMissSkiffinswasexpected。
Chapter46
EIGHTo\'clockhadstruckbeforeIgotintotheairthatwasscented，notdisagreeably，bythechipsandshavingsofthelong-shoreboatbuilders，andmastoarandblockmakers。Allthatwater-sideregionoftheupperandlowerPoolbelowBridge，wasunknowngroundtome，andwhenIstruckdownbytheriver，IfoundthatthespotIwantedwasnotwhereIhadsupposedittobe，andwasanythingbuteasytofind。ItwascalledMillPondBank，Chinks\'sBasin；andIhadnootherguidetoChinks\'sBasinthantheOldGreenCopperRope-Walk。
ItmattersnotwhatstrandedshipsrepairingindrydocksIlostmyselfamong，whatoldhullsofshipsincourseofbeingknockedtopieces，whatoozeandslimeandotherdregsoftide，whatyardsofship-buildersandship-breakers，whatrustyanchorsblindlybitingintothegroundthoughforyearsoffduty，whatmountainouscountryofaccumulatedcasksandtimber，howmanyrope-walksthatwerenottheOldGreenCopper。Afterseveraltimesfallingshortofmydestinationandasoftenover-shootingit，Icameunexpectedlyroundacorner，uponMillPondBank。Itwasafreshkindofplace，allcircumstancesconsidered，wherethewindfromtheriverhadroomtoturnitselfround；andthereweretwoorthreetreesinit，andtherewasthestumpofaruinedwindmill，andtherewastheOldGreenCopperRope-Walk-whoselongandnarrowvistaIcouldtraceinthemoonlight，alongaseriesofwoodenframessetintheground，thatlookedlikesuperannuatedhaymaking-rakeswhichhadgrownoldandlostmostoftheirteeth。
SelectingfromthefewqueerhousesuponMillPondBank，ahousewithawoodenfrontandthreestoriesofbow-windownotbay-window，whichisanotherthing，Ilookedattheplateuponthedoor，andreadthere，MrsWhimple。ThatbeingthenameIwanted，Iknocked，andanelderlywomanofapleasantandthrivingappearanceresponded。Shewasimmediatelydeposed，however，byHerbert，whosilentlyledmeintotheparlourandshutthedoor。Itwasanoddsensationtoseehisveryfamiliarfaceestablishedquiteathomeinthatveryunfamiliarroomandregion；andIfoundmyselflookingathim，muchasIlookedatthecorner-cupboardwiththeglassandchina，theshellsuponthechimney-piece，andthecolouredengravingsonthewall，representingthedeathofCaptainCook，aship-launch，andhisMajestyKingGeorgetheThirdinastate-coachman\'swig，leather-breeches，andtop-boots，ontheterraceatWindsor。
`Alliswell，Handel，\'saidHerbert，`andheisquitesatisfied，thougheagertoseeyou。Mydeargirliswithherfather；andifyou\'llwaittillshecomesdown，I\'llmakeyouknowntoher，andthenwe\'llgoup-stairs-
That\'sherfather。\'
Ihadbecomeawareofanalarminggrowlingoverhead，andhadprobablyexpressedthefactinmycountenance。
`Iamafraidheisasadoldrascal，\'saidHerbert，smiling，`butI
haveneverseenhim。Don\'tyousmellrum？Heisalwaysasit。\'
`Atrum？\'saidI。
`Yes，\'returnedHerbert，`andyoumaysupposehowmilditmakeshisgout。Hepersists，too，inkeepingalltheprovisionsupstairsinhisroom，andservingthemout。Hekeepsthemonshelvesoverhishead，andwillweighthemall。Hisroommustbelikeachandler\'sshop。\'
Whilehethusspoke，thegrowlingnoisebecameaprolongedroar，andthendiedaway。
`Whatelsecanbetheconsequence，\'saidHerbert，inexplanation，`ifhewillcutthecheese？Amanwiththegoutinhisrighthand-
andeverywhereelse-can\'texpecttogetthroughaDoubleGloucesterwithouthurtinghimself。\'
Heseemedtohavehurthimselfverymuch，forhegaveanotherfuriousroar。
`TohaveProvisforanupperlodgerisquiteagodsendtoMrsWhimple，\'
saidHerbert，`forofcoursepeopleingeneralwon\'tstandthatnoise。
Acuriousplace，Handel；isn\'tit？\'
Itwasacuriousplace，indeed；butremarkablywellkeptandclean。
`MrsWhimple，\'saidHerbert，whenItoldhimso，`isthebestofhousewives，andIreallydonotknowwhatmyClarawoulddowithouthermotherlyhelp。
For，Clarahasnomotherofherown，Handel，andnorelationintheworldbutoldGruffandgrim。\'
`Surelythat\'snothisname，Herbert？\'
`No，no，\'saidHerbert，`that\'smynameforhim。HisnameisMrBarley。
Butwhatablessingitisforthesonofmyfatherandmother，toloveagirlwhohasnorelations，andwhocanneverbotherherself，oranybodyelse，aboutherfamily！\'
Herberthadtoldmeonformeroccasions，andnowremindedme，thathefirstknewMissClaraBarleywhenshewascompletinghereducationatanestablishmentatHammersmith，andthatonherbeingrecalledhometonurseherfather，heandshehadconfidedtheiraffectiontothemotherlyMrsWhimple，bywhomithadbeenfosteredandregulatedwithequalkindnessanddiscretion，eversince。ItwasunderstoodthatnothingofatendernaturecouldpossiblybeconfidedtooldBarley，byreasonofhisbeingtotallyunequaltotheconsiderationofanysubjectmorepsychologicalthanGout，Rum，andPurser\'sstores。
AswewerethusconversinginalowtonewhileOldBarley\'ssustainedgrowlvibratedinthebeamthatcrossedtheceiling，theroomdooropened，andaveryprettyslightdark-eyedgirloftwentyorso，cameinwithabasketinherhand:whomHerberttenderlyrelievedofthebasket，andpresentedblushing，as`Clara。\'Shereallywasamostcharminggirl，andmighthavepassedforacaptivefairy，whomthattruculentOgre，OldBarley，hadpressedintohisservice。
`Lookhere，\'saidHerbert，showingmethebasket，withacompassionateandtendersmileafterwehadtalkedalittle；`here\'spoorClara\'ssupper，servedouteverynight。Here\'sherallowanceofbread，andhere\'shersliceofcheese，andhere\'sherrum-whichIdrink。ThisisMrBarley\'sbreakfastforto-morrow，servedouttobecooked。Twomuttonchops，threepotatoes，somesplitpeas，alittleflour，twoouncesofbutter，apinchofsalt，andallthisblackpepper。It\'ssteweduptogether，andtakenhot，andit\'sanicethingforthegout，Ishouldthink！\'
TherewassomethingsonaturalandwinninginClara\'sresignedwayoflookingatthesestoresindetail，asHerbertpointedthemout，-andsomethingsoconfiding，loving，andinnocent，inhermodestmannerofyieldingherselftoHerbert\'sembracingarm-andsomethingsogentleinher，somuchneedingprotectiononMillPondBank，byChinks\'sBasin，andtheOldGreenCopperRope-Walk，withOldBarleygrowinginthebeam-thatIwouldnothaveundonetheengagementbetweenherandHerbert，forallthemoneyinthepocket-bookIhadneveropened。
Iwaslookingatherwithpleasureandadmiration，whensuddenlythegrowlswelledintoaroaragain，andafrightfulbumpingnoisewasheardabove，asifagiantwithawoodenlegweretryingtoboreitthroughtheceilingtocometous。UponthisClarasaidtoHerbert，`Papawantsme，darling！\'andranaway。
`Thereisanunconscionableoldsharkforyou！\'saidHerbert。`Whatdoyousupposehewantsnow，Handel！？\'
`Idon\'tknow，\'saidI。`Somethingtodrink？\'
`That\'sit！\'criedHerbert，asifIhadmadeaguessofextraordinarymerit。`Hekeepshisgrogready-mixedinalittletubonthetable。Waitamoment，andyou\'llhearClaralifthimuptotakesome-Therehegoes！\'
Anotherroar，withaprolongedshakeattheend。`Now，\'saidHerbert，asitwassucceededbysilence，`he\'sdrinking。Now，\'saidHerbert，asthegrowlresoundedinthebeamoncemore，`he\'sdownagainonhisback！\'
Clarareturnedsoonafterwards，andHerbertaccompaniedmeup-stairstoseeourcharge。AswepassedMrBarley\'sdoor，hewasheardhoarselymutteringwithin，inastrainthatroseandfelllikewind，thefollowingRefrain；inwhichIsubstitutegoodwishesforsomethingquitethereverse。
`Ahoy！Blessyoureyes，here\'soldBillBarley。Here\'soldBillBarley，blessyoureyes。Here\'soldBillBarleyontheflatofhisback，bytheLord。Lyingontheflatofhisback，likeadriftingolddeadflounder，here\'syouroldBillBarley，blessyoureyes。Ahoy！Blessyou。\'
Inthisstrainofconsolation，HerbertinformedmetheinvisibleBarleywouldcommunewithhimselfbythedayandnighttogether；oftenwhileitwaslight，having，atthesametime，oneeyeatatelescopewhichwasfittedonhisbedfortheconvenienceofsweepingtheriver。
Inhistwocabinroomsatthetopofthehouse，whichwerefreshandairy，andinwhichMrBarleywaslessaudiblethanbelow，IfoundProviscomfortablysettled。Heexpressednoalarm，andseemedtofeelnonethatwasworthmentioning；butitstruckmethathewassoftened-indefinably，forIcouldhavesaidhow，andcouldneverafterwardsrecallhowwhenI
tried；butcertainly。
Theopportunitythattheday\'sresthadgivenmeforreflection，hadresultedinmyfullydeterminingtosaynothingtohimrespectingCompeyson。
ForanythingIknew，hisanimositytowardsthemanmightotherwiseleadtohisseekinghimoutandrushingonhisowndestruction。Therefore，whenHerbertandIsatdownwithhimbyhisfire，IaskedhimfirstofallwhetherhereliedonWemmick\'sjudgmentandsourcesofinformation？
`Ay，ay，dearboy！\'heanswered，withagravenod，`Jaggersknows。\'
`Then，IhavetalkedwithWemmick，\'saidI，`andhavecometotellyouwhatcautionhegavemeandwhatadvice。\'
ThisIdidaccurately，withthereservationjustmentioned；andItoldhimhowWemmickhadheard，inNewgateprisonwhetherfromofficersorprisonersIcouldnotsay，thathewasundersomesuspicion，andthatmychambershadbeenwatched；howWemmickhadrecommendedhiskeepingcloseforatime，andmykeepingawayfromhim；andwhatWemmickhadsaidaboutgettinghimabroad。Iadded，thatofcourse，whenthetimecame，Ishouldgowithhim，orshouldfollowcloseuponhim，asmightbesafestinWemmick\'sjudgment。Whatwastofollowthat，Ididnottouchupon；neitherindeedwasIatallclearorcomfortableaboutitinmyownmind，nowthatIsawhiminthatsoftercondition，andindeclaredperilformysake。Astoalteringmywayofliving，byenlargingmyexpenses，Iputittohimwhetherinourpresentunsettledanddifficultcircumstances，itwouldnotbesimplyridiculous，ifitwerenoworse？
Hecouldnotdenythis，andindeedwasveryreasonablethroughout。Hiscomingbackwasaventure，hesaid，andhehadalwaysknownittobeaventure。Hewoulddonothingtomakeitadesperateventure，andhehadverylittlefearofhissafetywithsuchgoodhelp。
Herbert，whohadbeenlookingatthefireandpondering，heresaidthatsomethinghadcomeintohisthoughtsarisingoutofWemmick\'ssuggestion，whichitmightbeworthwhiletopursue。`Wearebothgoodwatermen，Handel，andcouldtakehimdowntheriverourselveswhentherighttimecomes。
Noboatwouldthenbehiredforthepurpose，andnoboatmen；thatwouldsaveatleastachanceofsuspicion，andanychanceisworthsaving。Nevermindtheseason；don\'tyouthinkitmightbeagoodthingifyoubeganatoncetokeepaboatattheTemplestairs，andwereinthehabitofrowingupanddowntheriver？Youfallintothathabit，andthenwhonoticesorminds？Doittwentyorfiftytimes，andthereisnothingspecialinyourdoingitthetwenty-firstorfifty-first。\'
Ilikedthisscheme，andProviswasquiteelatedbyit。Weagreedthatitshouldbecarriedintoexecution，andthatProvisshouldneverrecognizeusifwecamebelowBridgeandrowedpastMillPondBank。But，wefurtheragreedthatheshouldpulldowntheblindinthatpartofhiswindowwhichgaveupontheeast，wheneverhesawusandallwasright。
Ourconferencebeingnowended，andeverythingarranged，Irosetogo；
remarkingtoHerbertthatheandIhadbetternotgohometogether，andthatIwouldtakehalfanhour\'sstartofhim。`Idon\'tliketoleaveyouhere，\'IsaidtoProvis，`thoughIcannotdoubtyourbeingsaferherethannearme。Good-bye！\'
`Dearboy，\'heanswered，claspingmyhands，`Idon\'tknowwhenwemaymeetagain，andIdon\'tlikeGood-bye。SayGoodNight！\'
`Goodnight！Herbertwillgoregularlybetweenus，andwhenthetimecomesyoumaybecertainIshallbeready。Goodnight，Goodnight！\'
Wethoughtitbestthatheshouldstayinhisownrooms，andwelefthimonthelandingoutsidehisdoor，holdingalightoverthestair-railtolightusdownstairs。Lookingbackathim，Ithoughtofthefirstnightofhisreturnwhenourpositionswerereversed，andwhenIlittlesupposedmyheartcouldeverbeasheavyandanxiousatpartingfromhimasitwasnow。
OldBarleywasgrowlingandswearingwhenwerepassedhisdoor，withnoappearanceofhavingceasedorofmeaningtocease。Whenwegottothefootofthestairs，IaskedHerbertwhetherhehadpreservedthenameofProvis。Hereplied，certainlynot，andthatthelodgerwasMrCampbell。
HealsoexplainedthattheutmostknownofMrCampbellthere，was，thatheHerberthadMrCampbellconsignedtohim，andfeltastrongpersonalinterestinhisbeingwellcaredfor，andlivingasecludedlife。So，whenwewentintotheparlourwhereMrsWhimpleandClarawereseatedatwork，IsaidnothingofmyowninterestinMrCampbell，butkeptittomyself。
WhenIhadtakenleaveoftheprettygentledark-eyedgirl，andofthemotherlywomanwhohadnotoutlivedherhonestsympathywithalittleaffairoftruelove，IfeltasiftheOldGreenCopperRope-Walkhadgrownquiteadifferentplace。OldBarleymightbeasoldasthehills，andmightswearlikeawholefieldoftroopers，buttherewereredeemingyouthandtrustandhopeenoughinChinks\'sBasintofillittooverflowing。AndthenI
thoughtofEstella，andofourparting，andwenthomeverysadly。
AllthingswereasquietintheTempleaseverIhadseenthem。Thewindowsoftheroomsofthatside，latelyoccupiedbyProvis，weredarkandstill，andtherewasnoloungerinGarden-court。IwalkedpastthefountaintwiceorthricebeforeIdescendedthestepsthatwerebetweenmeandmyrooms，butIwasquitealone。Herbertcomingtomybedsidewhenhecamein-forIwentstraighttobed，dispiritedandfatigued-madethesamereport。Openingoneofthewindowsafterthat，helookedoutintothemoonlight，andtoldmethatthepavementwasasolemnlyemptyasthepavementofanyCathedralatthatsamehour。
Nextday，Isetmyselftogettheboat。Itwassoondone，andtheboatwasbroughtroundtotheTemplestairs，andlaywhereIcouldreachherwithinaminuteortwo。Then，Ibegantogooutasfortrainingandpractice:
sometimesalone，sometimeswithHerbert。Iwasoftenoutincold，rain，andsleet，butnobodytookmuchnoteofmeafterIhadbeenoutafewtimes。
Atfirst，IkeptaboveBlackfriarsBridge；butasthehoursofthetidechanged，ItooktowardsLondonBridge。ItwasOldLondonBridgeinthosedays，andatcertainstatesofthetidetherewasaraceandfallofwatertherewhichgaveitabadreputation。ButIknewwellenoughhowto`shoot\'
thebridgeafterseeingitdone，andsobegantorowaboutamongtheshippinginthePool，anddowntoErith。ThefirsttimeIpassedMillPondBank，HerbertandIwerepullingapairofoars；and，bothingoingandreturning，wesawtheblindtowardstheeastcomedown。Herbertwasrarelytherelessfrequentlythanthreetimesinaweek，andheneverbroughtmeasinglewordofintelligencethatwasatallalarming。Still，Iknewthattherewascauseforalarm，andIcouldnotgetridofthenotionofbeingwatched。
Oncereceived，itisahauntingidea；howmanyundesigningpersonsIsuspectedofwatchingme，itwouldbehardtocalculate。
Inshort，Iwasalwaysfulloffearsfortherashmanwhowasinhiding。
Herberthadsometimessaidtomethathefounditpleasanttostandatoneofourwindowsafterdark，whenthetidewasrunningdown，andtothinkthatitwasflowing，witheverythingitbore，towardsClara。ButIthoughtwithdreadthatitwasflowingtowardsMagwitch，andthatanyblackmarkonitssurfacemightbehispursuers，goingswiftly，silently，andsurely，totakehim。
Chapter47
SOMEweekspassedwithoutbringinganychange。WewaitedforWemmick，andhemadenosign。IfIhadneverknownhimoutofLittleBritain，andhadneverenjoyedtheprivilegeofbeingonafamiliarfootingattheCastle，Imighthavedoubtedhim；notsoforamoment，knowinghimasIdid。
Myworldlyaffairsbegantowearagloomyappearance，andIwaspressedformoneybymorethanonecreditor。EvenImyselfbegantoknowthewantofmoneyImeanofreadymoneyinmyownpocket，andtorelieveitbyconvertingsomeeasilysparedarticlesofjewelleryintocash。ButIhadquitedeterminedthatitwouldbeaheartlessfraudtotakemoremoneyfrommypatronintheexistingstateofmyuncertainthoughtsandplans。
Therefore，Ihadsenthimtheunopenedpocket-bookbyHerbert，toholdinhisownkeeping，andIfeltakindofsatisfaction-whetheritwasafalsekindoratrue，Ihardlyknow-innothavingprofitedbyhisgenerositysincehisrevelationofhimself。
Asthetimeworeon，animpressionsettledheavilyuponmethatEstellawasmarried。Fearfulofhavingitconfirmed，thoughitwasallbutaconviction，Iavoidedthenewspapers，andbeggedHerberttowhomIhadconfidedthecircumstancesofourlastinterviewnevertospeakofhertome。WhyI
hoardedupthislastwretchedlittleragoftherobeofhopethatwasrentandgiventothewinds，howdoIknow！Whydidyouwhoreadthis，committhatnotdissimilarinconsistencyofyourown，lastyear，lastmonth，lastweek？
ItwasanunhappylifethatIlived，anditsonedominantanxiety，toweringoverallitsotheranxietieslikeahighmountainabovearangeofmountains，neverdisappearedfrommyview。Still，nonewcauseforfeararose。LetmestartfrommybedasIwould，withtheterrorfreshuponmethathewasdiscovered；letmesitlisteningasIwould，withdread，forHerbert\'sreturningstepatnight，lestitshouldbefleeterthanordinary，andwingedwithevilnews；forallthat，andmuchmoretolikepurpose，theroundofthingswenton。Condemnedtoinactionandastateofconstantrestlessnessandsuspense，Irowedaboutinmyboat，andwaited，waited，waited，asIbestcould。
Therewerestatesofthetidewhen，havingbeendowntheriver，Icouldnotgetbackthroughtheeddy-chafedarchesandstarlingsofoldLondonBridge；then，IleftmyboatatawharfneartheCustomHouse，tobebroughtupafterwardstotheTemplestairs。Iwasnotaversetodoingthis，asitservedtomakemeandmyboatacommonerincidentamongthewater-sidepeoplethere。Fromthisslightoccasion，sprangtwomeetingsthatIhavenowtotellof。
Oneafternoon，lateinthemonthofFebruary，Icameashoreatthewharfatdusk。IhadpulleddownasfarasGreenwichwiththeebbtide，andhadturnedwiththetide。Ithadbeenafinebrightday，buthadbecomefoggyasthesundropped，andIhadhadtofeelmywaybackamongtheshipping，prettycarefully。Bothingoingandreturning，Ihadseenthesignalinhiswindow，Allwell。
AsitwasaraweveningandIwascold，IthoughtIwouldcomfortmyselfwithdinneratonce；andasIhadhoursofdejectionandsolitudebeforemeifIwenthometotheTemple，IthoughtIwouldafterwardsgototheplay。ThetheatrewhereMrWopslehadachievedhisquestionabletriumph，wasinthatwatersideneighbourhooditisnowherenow，andtothattheatreIresolvedtogo。IwasawarethatMrWopslehadnotsucceededinrevivingtheDrama，but，onthecontrary，hadratherpartakenofitsdecline。Hehadbeenominouslyheardof，throughtheplaybills，asafaithfulBlack，inconnexionwithalittlegirlofnoblebirth，andamonkey。AndHerberthadseenhimasapredatoryTartarofcomicpropensities，withafacelikearedbrick，andanoutrageoushatalloverbells。
IdinedatwhatHerbertandIusedtocallaGeographicalchop-house-wherethereweremapsoftheworldinporter-potrimsoneveryhalf-yardofthetable-cloths，andchartsofgravyoneveryoneoftheknives-tothisdaythereisscarcelyasinglechop-housewithintheLordMayor\'sdominionswhichisnotGeographical-andworeoutthetimeindozingovercrumbs，staringatgas，andbakinginahotblastofdinners。By-and-by，Irousedmyselfandwenttotheplay。
There，IfoundavirtuousboatswaininhisMajesty\'sservice-amostexcellentman，thoughIcouldhavewishedhistrousersnotquitesotightinsomeplacesandnotquitesolooseinothers-whoknockedallthelittlemen\'shatsovertheireyes，thoughhewasverygenerousandbrave，andwhowouldn\'thearofanybody\'spayingtaxes，thoughhewasverypatriotic。
Hehadabagofmoneyinhispocket，likeapuddinginthecloth，andonthatpropertymarriedayoungpersoninbed-furniture，withgreatrejoicings；
thewholepopulationofPortsmouthnineinnumberatthelastCensus
turningoutonthebeach，torubtheirownhandsandshakeeverybodyelse\'s，andsing`Fill，fill！\'Acertaindark-complexionedSwab，however，whowouldn\'tfill，ordoanythingelsethatwasproposedtohim，andwhoseheartwasopenlystatedbytheboatswaintobeasblackashisfigure-head，proposedtotwootherSwabstogetallmankindintodifficulties；whichwassoeffectuallydonetheSwabfamilyhavingconsiderablepoliticalinfluencethatittookhalftheeveningtosetthingsright，andthenitwasonlybroughtaboutthroughanhonestlittlegrocerwithawhitehat，blackgaiters，andrednose，gettingintoaclock，withagridiron，andlistening，andcomingout，andknockingeverybodydownfrombehindwiththegridironwhomhecouldn\'tconfutewithwhathehadoverheard。ThisledtoMrWopsle\'swhohadneverbeenheardofbeforecominginwithastarandgarteron，asaplenipotentiaryofgreatpowerdirectfromtheAdmiralty，tosaythattheSwabswerealltogotoprisononthespot，andthathehadbroughttheboatswaindowntheUnionJack，asaslightacknowledgmentofhispublicservices。Theboatswain，unmannedforthefirsttime，respectfullydriedhiseyesontheJack，andthencheeringupandaddressingMrWopsleasYourHonour，solicitedpermissiontotakehimbythefin。MrWopsleconcedinghisfinwithagraciousdignity，wasimmediatelyshovedintoadustycornerwhileeverybodydancedahornpipe；andfromthatcorner，surveyingthepublicwithadiscontentedeye，becameawareofme。
ThesecondpiecewasthelastnewgrandcomicChristmaspantomime，inthefirstsceneofwhich，itpainedmetosuspectthatIdetectedMrWopslewithredworstedlegsunderahighlymagnifiedphosphoriccountenanceandashockofredcurtain-fringeforhishair，engagedinthemanufactureofthunderboltsinamine，anddisplayinggreatcowardicewhenhisgiganticmastercamehomeveryhoarsetodinner。Buthepresentlypresentedhimselfunderworthiercircumstances；for，theGeniusofYouthfulLovebeinginwantofassistance-onaccountoftheparentalbrutalityofanignorantfarmerwhoopposedthechoiceofhisdaughter\'sheart，bypurposelyfallingupontheobject，inafloursack，outofthefirstfloorwindow-summonedasententiousEnchanter；andhe，comingupfromtheantipodesratherunsteadily，afteranapparentlyviolentjourney，provedtobeMrWopsleinahigh-crownedhat，withanecromanticworkinonevolumeunderhisarm。Thebusinessofthisenchanteronearth，beingprincipallytobetalkedat，sungat，buttedat，dancedat，andflashedatwithfiresofvariouscolours，hehadagooddealoftimeonhishands。AndIobservedwithgreatsurprise，thathedevotedittostaringinmydirectionasifhewerelostinamazement。
TherewassomethingsoremarkableintheincreasingglareofMrWopsle\'seye，andheseemedtobeturningsomanythingsoverinhismindandtogrowsoconfused，thatIcouldnotmakeitout。Isatthinkingofit，longafterhehadascendedtothecloudsinalargewatch-case，andstillI
couldnotmakeitout。IwasstillthinkingofitwhenIcameoutofthetheatreanhourafterwards，andfoundhimwaitingformenearthedoor。
`Howdoyoudo？\'saidI，shakinghandswithhimasweturneddownthestreettogether。`Isawthatyousawme。\'
`Sawyou，Mr。Pip！\'hereturned。`Yes，ofcourseIsawyou。Butwhoelsewasthere？\'
`Whoelse？\'
`Itisthestrangestthing，\'saidMrWopsle，driftingintohislostlookagain；`andyetIcouldsweartohim。\'
Becomingalarmed，IentreatedMrWopsletoexplainhismeaning。
`WhetherIshouldhavenoticedhimatfirstbutforyourbeingthere，\'
saidMrWopsle，goingoninthesamelostway，`Ican\'tbepositive；yetIthinkIshould。\'
InvoluntarilyIlookedroundme，asIwasaccustomedtolookroundmewhenIwenthome；for，thesemysteriouswordsgavemeachill。
`Oh！Hecan\'tbeinsight，\'saidMrWopsle。`Hewentout，beforeIwentoff，Isawhimgo。\'
HavingthereasonthatIhad，forbeingsuspicious，Ievensuspectedthispooractor。Imistrustedadesigntoentrapmeintosomeadmission。
Therefore，Iglancedathimaswewalkedontogether，butsaidnothing。
`Ihadaridiculousfancythathemustbewithyou，MrPip，tillIsawthatyouwerequiteunconsciousofhim，sittingbehindyouthere，likeaghost。\'
Myformerchillcreptovermeagain，butIwasresolvednottospeakyet，foritwasquiteconsistentwithhiswordsthathemightbesetontoinducemetoconnectthesereferenceswithProvis。Ofcourse，IwasperfectlysureandsafethatProvishadnotbeenthere。
`Idaresayyouwonderatme，MrPip；indeedIseeyoudo。Butitissoverystrange！You\'llhardlybelievewhatIamgoingtotellyou。Icouldhardlybelieveitmyself，ifyoutoldme。\'
`Indeed？\'saidI。
`No，indeed。MrPip，yourememberinoldtimesacertainChristmasDay，whenyouwerequiteachild，andIdinedatGargery\'s，andsomesoldierscametothedoortogetapairofhandcuffsmended？\'
`Irememberitverywell。\'
`Andyourememberthattherewasachaseaftertwoconvicts，andthatwejoinedinit，andthatGargerytookyouonhisback，andthatItooktheleadandyoukeptupwithmeaswellasyoucould？\'
`Irememberitallverywell。\'Betterthanhethought-exceptthelastclause。
`Andyourememberthatwecameupwiththetwoinaditch，andthattherewasascufflebetweenthem，andthatoneofthemhadbeenseverelyhandledandmuchmauledabouttheface，bytheother？\'
`Iseeitallbeforeme。\'
`Andthatthesoldierslightedtorches，andputthetwointhecentre，andthatwewentontoseethelastofthem，overtheblackmarshes，withthetorchlightshiningontheirfaces-Iamparticularaboutthat；withthetorchlightshiningontheirfaces，whentherewasanouterringofdarknightallaboutus？\'
`Yes，\'saidI。`Irememberallthat。\'
`Then，MrPip，oneofthosetwoprisonerssatbehindyoutonight。I
sawhimoveryourshoulder。\'
`Steady！\'Ithought。Iaskedhimthen，`Whichofthetwodoyousupposeyousaw？\'
`Theonewhohadbeenmauled，\'heansweredreadily，`andI\'llswearIsawhim！ThemoreIthinkofhim，themorecertainIamofhim。\'
`Thisisverycurious！\'saidI，withthebestassumptionIcouldputon，ofitsbeingnothingmoretome。`Verycuriousindeed！\'
Icannotexaggeratetheenhanceddisquietintowhichthisconversationthrewme，orthespecialandpeculiarterrorIfeltatCompeyson\'shavingbeenbehindme`likeaghost。\'For，ifhehadeverbeenoutofmythoughtsforafewmomentstogethersincethehidinghadbegun，itwasinthoseverymomentswhenhewasclosesttome；andtothinkthatIshouldbesounconsciousandoffmyguardafterallmycare，wasasifIhadshutanavenueofahundreddoorstokeephimout，andthenhadfoundhimatmyelbow。Icouldnotdoubteitherthathewasthere，becauseIwasthere，andthathoweverslightanappearanceofdangertheremightbeaboutus，dangerwasalwaysnearandactive。
IputsuchquestionstoMrWopsleas，Whendidthemancomein？Hecouldnottellmethat；hesawme，andovermyshoulderhesawtheman。Itwasnotuntilhehadseenhimforsometimethathebegantoidentifyhim；
buthehadfromthefirstvaguelyassociatedhimwithme，andknownhimassomehowbelongingtomeintheoldvillagetime。Howwashedressed？
Prosperously，butnotnoticeablyotherwise；hethought，inblack。Washisfaceatalldisfigured？No，hebelievednot。Ibelievednot，too，for，althoughinmybroodingstateIhadtakennoespecialnoticeofthepeoplebehindme，Ithoughtitlikelythatafaceatalldisfiguredwouldhaveattractedmyattention。
WhenMrWopslehadimpartedtomeallthathecouldrecallorIextract，andwhenIhadtreatedhimtoalittleappropriaterefreshmentafterthefatiguesoftheevening，weparted。Itwasbetweentwelveandoneo\'clockwhenIreachedtheTemple，andthegateswereshut。NoonewasnearmewhenIwentinandwenthome。
Herberthadcomein，andweheldaveryseriouscouncilbythefire。
Buttherewasnothingtobedone，savingtocommunicatetoWemmickwhatIhadthatnightfoundout，andtoremindhimthatwewaitedforhishint。
AsIthoughtthatImightcompromisehimifIwenttoooftentotheCastle，Imadethiscommunicationbyletter。IwroteitbeforeIwenttobed，andwentoutandpostedit；andagainnoonewasnearme。HerbertandIagreedthatwecoulddonothingelsebutbeverycautious。Andwewereverycautiousindeed-morecautiousthanbefore，ifthatwerepossible-andIformypartneverwentnearChinks\'sBasin，exceptwhenIrowedby，andthenI
onlylookedatMillPondBankasIlookedatanythingelse。