Chapter16
WITHmyheadfullofGeorgeBarnwell，IwasatfirstdisposedtobelievethatImusthavehadsomehandintheattackuponmysister，oratalleventsthatashernearrelation，popularlyknowntobeunderobligationstoher，Iwasamorelegitimateobjectofsuspicionthananyoneelse。
Butwhen，intheclearerlightofnextmorning，Ibegantoreconsiderthematterandtohearitdiscussedaroundmeonallsides，Itookanotherviewofthecase，whichwasmorereasonable。
JoehadbeenattheThreeJollyBargemen，smokinghispipe，fromaquarteraftereighto\'clocktoaquarterbeforeten。Whilehewasthere，mysisterhadbeenseenstandingatthekitchendoor，andhadexchangedGoodNightwithafarm-labourergoinghome。Themancouldnotbemoreparticularastothetimeatwhichhesawherhegotintodenseconfusionwhenhetriedtobe，thanthatitmusthavebeenbeforenine。WhenJoewenthomeatfiveminutesbeforeten，hefoundherstruckdownonthefloor，andpromptlycalledinassistance。Thefirehadnotthenburntunusuallylow，norwasthesnuffofthecandleverylong；thecandle，however，hadbeenblownout。
Nothinghadbeentakenawayfromanypartofthehouse。Neither，beyondtheblowingoutofthecandle-whichstoodonatablebetweenthedoorandmysister，andwasbehindherwhenshestoodfacingthefireandwasstruck-wasthereanydisarrangementofthekitchen，exceptingsuchassheherselfhadmade，infallingandbleeding。But，therewasoneremarkablepieceofevidenceonthespot。Shehadbeenstruckwithsomethingbluntandheavy，ontheheadandspine；aftertheblowsweredealt，somethingheavyhadbeenthrowndownatherwithconsiderableviolence，asshelayonherface。Andonthegroundbesideher，whenJoepickedherup，wasaconvict\'sleg-ironwhichhadbeenfiledasunder。
Now，Joe，examiningthisironwithasmith\'seye，declaredittohavebeenfiledasundersometimeago。ThehueandcrygoingofftotheHulks，andpeoplecomingthencetoexaminetheiron，Joe\'sopinionwascorroborated。
Theydidnotundertaketosaywhenithadlefttheprison-shipstowhichitundoubtedlyhadoncebelonged；buttheyclaimedtoknowforcertainthatthatparticularmanaclehadnotbeenwornbyeitheroftwoconvictswhohadescapedlastnight。Further，oneofthosetwowasalreadyre-taken，andhadnotfreedhimselfofhisiron。
KnowingwhatIknew，Isetupaninferenceofmyownhere。Ibelievedtheirontobemyconvict\'siron-theironIhadseenandheardhimfilingat，onthemarshes-butmyminddidnotaccusehimofhavingputittoitslatestuse。For，Ibelievedoneoftwootherpersonstohavebecomepossessedofit，andtohaveturnedittothiscruelaccount。EitherOrlick，orthestrangemanwhohadshownmethefile。
Now，astoOrlick；hehadgonetotownexactlyashetolduswhenwepickedhimupattheturnpike，hehadbeenseenabouttownalltheevening，hehadbeenindiverscompaniesinseveralpublic-houses，andhehadcomebackwithmyselfandMrWopsle。Therewasnothingagainsthim，savethequarrel；andmysisterhadquarrelledwithhim，andwitheverybodyelseabouther，tenthousandtimes。Astothestrangeman；ifhehadcomebackforhistwobank-notestherecouldhavebeennodisputeaboutthem，becausemysisterwasfullypreparedtorestorethem。Besides，therehadbeennoaltercation；theassailanthadcomeinsosilentlyandsuddenly，thatshehadbeenfelledbeforeshecouldlookround。
ItwashorribletothinkthatIhadprovidedtheweapon，howeverundesignedly，butIcouldhardlythinkotherwise。IsufferedunspeakabletroublewhileIconsideredandreconsideredwhetherIshouldatlastdissolvethatspellofmychildhood，andtellJoeallthestory。Formonthsafterwards，Ieverydaysettledthequestionfinallyinthenegative，andreopenedandreargueditnextmorning。Thecontentioncame，afterall，tothis；-thesecretwassuchanoldonenow，hadsogrownintomeandbecomeapartofmyself，thatIcouldnottearitaway。Inadditiontothedreadthat，havingleduptosomuchmischief，itwouldbenowmorelikelythanevertoalienateJoefrommeifhebelievedit，Ihadafurtherrestrainingdreadthathewouldnotbelieveit，butwouldassortitwiththefabulousdogsandveal-cutletsasamonstrousinvention。However，Itemporizedwithmyself，ofcourse-for，wasInotwaveringbetweenrightandwrong，whenthethingisalwaysdone？-andresolvedtomakeafulldisclosureifIshouldseeanysuchnewoccasionasanewchanceofhelpinginthediscoveryoftheassailant。
TheConstables，andtheBowStreetmenfromLondon-for，thishappenedinthedaysoftheextinctred-waistcoatedpolice-wereaboutthehouseforaweekortwo，anddidprettymuchwhatIhaveheardandreadoflikeauthoritiesdoinginothersuchcases。Theytookupseveralobviouslywrongpeople，andtheyrantheirheadsveryhardagainstwrongideas，andpersistedintryingtofitthecircumstancestotheideas，insteadoftryingtoextractideasfromthecircumstances。Also，theystoodaboutthedooroftheJollyBargemen，withknowingandreservedlooksthatfilledthewholeneighbourhoodwithadmiration；andtheyhadamysteriousmanneroftakingtheirdrink，thatwasalmostasgoodastakingtheculprit。Butnotquite，fortheyneverdidit。
Longaftertheseconstitutionalpowershaddispersed，mysisterlayveryillinbed。Hersightwasdisturbed，sothatshesawobjectsmultiplied，andgraspedatvisionaryteacupsandwine-glassesinsteadoftherealities；
herhearingwasgreatlyimpaired；hermemoryalso；andherspeechwasunintelligible。
When，atlast，shecameroundsofarastobehelpeddown-stairs，itwasstillnecessarytokeepmyslatealwaysbyher，thatshemightindicateinwritingwhatshecouldnotindicateinspeech。Asshewasverybadhandwritingapartamorethanindifferentspeller，andasJoewasamorethanindifferentreader，extraordinarycomplicationsarosebetweenthem，whichIwasalwayscalledintosolve。Theadministrationofmuttoninsteadofmedicine，thesubstitutionofTeaforJoe，andthebakerforbacon，wereamongthemildestofmyownmistakes。
However，hertemperwasgreatlyimproved，andshewaspatient。Atremulousuncertaintyoftheactionofallherlimbssoonbecameapartofherregularstate，andafterwards，atintervalsoftwoorthreemonths，shewouldoftenputherhandstoherhead，andwouldthenremainforaboutaweekatatimeinsomegloomyaberrationofmind。Wewereatalosstofindasuitableattendantforher，untilacircumstancehappenedconvenientlytorelieveus。MrWopsle\'sgreat-auntconqueredaconfirmedhabitoflivingintowhichshehadfallen，andBiddybecameapartofourestablishment。
Itmayhavebeenaboutamonthaftermysister\'sreappearanceinthekitchen，whenBiddycametouswithasmallspeckledboxcontainingthewholeofherworldlyeffects，andbecameablessingtothehousehold。Aboveall，shewasablessingtoJoe，forthedearoldfellowwassadlycutupbytheconstantcontemplationofthewreckofhiswife，andhadbeenaccustomed，whileattendingonherofanevening，toturntomeeverynowandthenandsay，withhisblueeyesmoistened，`Suchafinefigureofawomanassheoncewere，Pip！\'Biddyinstantlytakingthecleverestchargeofherasthoughshehadstudiedherfrominfancy，Joebecameableinsomesorttoappreciatethegreaterquietofhislife，andtogetdowntotheJollyBargemennowandthenforachangethatdidhimgood。ItwascharacteristicofthepolicepeoplethattheyhadallmoreorlesssuspectedpoorJoethoughheneverknewit，andthattheyhadtoamanconcurredinregardinghimasoneofthedeepestspiritstheyhadeverencountered。
Biddy\'sfirsttriumphinhernewoffice，wastosolveadifficultythathadcompletelyvanquishedme。Ihadtriedhardatit，buthadmadenothingofit。Thusitwas:
Againandagainandagain，mysisterhadtracedupontheslate，acharacterthatlookedlikeacuriousT，andthenwiththeutmosteagernesshadcalledourattentiontoitassomethingsheparticularlywanted。IhadinvaintriedeverythingproduciblethatbeganwithaT，fromtartotoastandtub。Atlengthithadcomeintomyheadthatthesignlookedlikeahammer，andonmylustilycallingthatwordinmysister\'sear，shehadbeguntohammeronthetableandhadexpressedaqualifiedassent。Thereupon，I
hadbroughtinallourhammers，oneafteranother，butwithoutavail。ThenIbethoughtmeofacrutch，theshapebeingmuchthesame，andIborrowedoneinthevillage，anddisplayedittomysisterwithconsiderableconfidence。
Butsheshookherheadtothatextentwhenshewasshownit，thatwewereterrifiedlestinherweakandshatteredstatesheshoulddislocateherneck。
WhenmysisterfoundthatBiddywasveryquicktounderstandher，thismysterioussignreappearedontheslate。Biddylookedthoughtfullyatit，heardmyexplanation，lookedthoughtfullyatmysister，lookedthoughtfullyatJoewhowasalwaysrepresentedontheslatebyhisinitialletter，andranintotheforge，followedbyJoeandme。
`Why，ofcourse！\'criedBiddy，withanexultantface。`Don\'tyousee？
It\'shim！\'
Orlick，withoutadoubt！Shehadlosthisname，andcouldonlysignifyhimbyhishammer。Wetoldhimwhywewantedhimtocomeintothekitchen，andheslowlylaiddownhishammer，wipedhisbrowwithhisarm，tookanotherwipeatitwithhisapron，andcameslouchingout，withacuriousloosevagabondbendinthekneesthatstronglydistinguishedhim。
IconfessthatIexpectedtoseemysisterdenouncehim，andthatI
wasdisappointedbythedifferentresult。Shemanifestedthegreatestanxietytobeongoodtermswithhim，wasevidentlymuchpleasedbyhisbeingatlengthproduced，andmotionedthatshewouldhavehimgivensomethingtodrink。Shewatchedhiscountenanceasifshewereparticularlywishfultobeassuredthathetookkindlytohisreception，sheshowedeverypossibledesiretoconciliatehim，andtherewasanairofhumblepropitiationinallshedid，suchasIhaveseenpervadethebearingofachildtowardsahardmaster。Afterthatday，adayrarelypassedwithoutherdrawingthehammeronherslate，andwithoutOrlick\'sslouchinginandstandingdoggedlybeforeher，asifheknewnomorethanIdidwhattomakeofit。
Chapter17
INOWfellintoaregularroutineofapprenticeshiplife，whichwasvaried，beyondthelimitsofthevillageandthemarshes，bynomoreremarkablecircumstancethanthearrivalofmybirthdayandmypayinganothervisittoMissHavisham。IfoundMissSarahPocketstillondutyatthegate，IfoundMissHavishamjustasIhadlefther，andshespokeofEstellaintheverysameway，ifnotintheverysamewords。Theinterviewlastedbutafewminutes，andshegavemeaguineawhenIwasgoing，andtoldmetocomeagainonmynextbirthday。Imaymentionatoncethatthisbecameanannualcustom。Itriedtodeclinetakingtheguineaonthefirstoccasion，butwithnobettereffectthancausinghertoaskmeveryangrily，ifI
expectedmore？Then，andafterthat，Itookit。
Sounchangingwasthedulloldhouse，theyellowlightinthedarkenedroom，thefadedspectreinthechairbythedressing-tableglass，thatIfeltasifthestoppingoftheclockshadstoppedTimeinthatmysteriousplace，and，whileIandeverythingelseoutsideitgrewolder，itstoodstill。Daylightneverenteredthehouseastomythoughtsandremembrancesofit，anymorethanastotheactualfact。Itbewilderedme，andunderitsinfluenceIcontinuedathearttohatemytradeandtobeashamedofhome。
ImperceptiblyIbecameconsciousofachangeinBiddy，however。Hershoescameupattheheel，herhairgrewbrightandneat，herhandswerealwaysclean。Shewasnotbeautiful-shewascommon，andcouldnotbelikeEstella-butshewaspleasantandwholesomeandsweet-tempered。ShehadnotbeenwithusmorethanayearIrememberherbeingnewlyoutofmourningatthetimeitstruckme，whenIobservedtomyselfoneeveningthatshehadcuriouslythoughtfulandattentiveeyes；eyesthatwereveryprettyandverygood。
ItcameofmyliftingupmyowneyesfromataskIwasporingat-writingsomepassagesfromabook，toimprovemyselfintwowaysatoncebyasortofstratagem-andseeingBiddyobservantofwhatIwasabout。Ilaiddownmypen，andBiddystoppedinherneedleworkwithoutlayingitdown。
`Biddy，\'saidI，`howdoyoumanageit？EitherIamverystupid，oryouareveryclever。\'
`WhatisitthatImanage？Idon\'tknow，\'returnedBiddy，smiling。
Shemanagedourwholedomesticlife，andwonderfullytoo；butIdidnotmeanthat，thoughthatmadewhatIdidmean，moresurprising。
`Howdoyoumanage，Biddy，\'saidI，`tolearneverythingthatIlearn，andalwaystokeepupwithme？\'Iwasbeginningtoberathervainofmyknowledge，forIspentmybirthdayguineasonit，andsetasidethegreaterpartofmypocket-moneyforsimilarinvestment；thoughIhavenodoubt，now，thatthetitleIknewwasextremelydearattheprice。
`Imightaswellaskyou，\'saidBiddy，`howyoumanage？\'
`No；becausewhenIcomeinfromtheforgeofanight，anyonecanseemeturningtoatit。Butyouneverturntoatit，Biddy。\'
`IsupposeImustcatchit-likeacough，\'saidBiddy，quietly；andwentonwithhersewing。
PursuingmyideaasIleanedbackinmywoodenchairandlookedatBiddysewingawaywithherheadononeside，Ibegantothinkherratheranextraordinarygirl。For，Icalledtomindnow，thatshewasequallyaccomplishedinthetermsofourtrade，andthenamesofourdifferentsortsofwork，andourvarioustools。Inshort，whateverIknew，Biddyknew。Theoretically，shewasalreadyasgoodablacksmithasI，orbetter。
`Youareoneofthose，Biddy，\'saidI，`whomakethemostofeverychance。
Youneverhadachancebeforeyoucamehere，andseehowimprovedyouare！\'
Biddylookedatmeforaninstant，andwentonwithhersewing。`Iwasyourfirstteacherthough；wasn\'tI？\'saidshe，asshesewed。
`Biddy！\'Iexclaimed，inamazement。`Why，youarecrying！\'
`NoIamnot，\'saidBiddy，lookingupandlaughing。`Whatputthatinyourhead？\'
Whatcouldhaveputitinmyhead，buttheglisteningofatearasitdroppedonherwork？Isatsilent，recallingwhatadrudgeshehadbeenuntilMrWopsle\'sgreat-auntsuccessfullyovercamethatbadhabitofliving，sohighlydesirabletobegotridofbysomepeople。Irecalledthehopelesscircumstancesbywhichshehadbeensurroundedinthemiserablelittleshopandthemiserablelittlenoisyeveningschool，withthatmiserableoldbundleofincompetencealwaystobedraggedandshouldered。IreflectedthateveninthoseuntowardtimestheremusthavebeenlatentinBiddywhatwasnowdeveloping，for，inmyfirstuneasinessanddiscontentIhadturnedtoherforhelp，asamatterofcourse。Biddysatquietlysewing，sheddingnomoretears，andwhileIlookedatherandthoughtaboutitall，itoccurredtomethatperhapsIhadnotbeensufficientlygratefultoBiddy。Imighthavebeentooreserved，andshouldhavepatronizedhermorethoughIdidnotusethatprecisewordinmymeditations，withmyconfidence。
`Yes，Biddy，\'Iobserved，whenIhaddoneturningitover，`youweremyfirstteacher，andthatatatimewhenwelittlethoughtofeverbeingtogetherlikethis，inthiskitchen。\'
`Ah，poorthing！\'repliedBiddy。Itwaslikeherself-forgetfulness，totransfertheremarktomysister，andtogetupandbebusyabouther，makinghermorecomfortable；`that\'ssadlytrue！\'
`Well！\'saidI，`wemusttalktogetheralittlemore，asweusedtodo。AndImustconsultyoualittlemore，asIusedtodo。LetushaveaquietwalkonthemarshesnextSunday，Biddy，andalongchat。\'
Mysisterwasneverleftalonenow；butJoemorethanreadilyundertookthecareofheronthatSundayafternoon，andBiddyandIwentouttogether。
Itwassummer-time，andlovelyweather。Whenwehadpassedthevillageandthechurchandthechurchyard，andwereoutonthemarshesandbegantoseethesailsoftheshipsastheysailedon，IbegantocombineMissHavishamandEstellawiththeprospect，inmyusualway。Whenwecametotheriver-sideandsatdownonthebank，withthewaterripplingatourfeet，makingitallmorequietthanitwouldhavebeenwithoutthatsound，IresolvedthatitwasagoodtimeandplacefortheadmissionofBiddyintomyinnerconfidence。
`Biddy，\'saidI，afterbindinghertosecrecy，`Iwanttobeagentleman。\'
`Oh，Iwouldn\'t，ifIwasyou！\'shereturned。`Idon\'tthinkitwouldanswer。\'
`Biddy，\'saidI，withsomeseverity，`Ihaveparticularreasonsforwantingtobeagentleman。\'
`Youknowbest，Pip；butdon\'tyouthinkyouarehappierasyouare？\'
`Biddy，\'Iexclaimed，impatiently，`IamnotatallhappyasIam。I
amdisgustedwithmycallingandwithmylife。Ihavenevertakentoeither，sinceIwasbound。Don\'tbeabsurd。\'
`WasIabsurd？\'saidBiddy，quietlyraisinghereyebrows；`Iamsorryforthat；Ididn\'tmeantobe。Ionlywantyoutodowell，andtobecomfortable。\'
`Wellthen，understandonceforallthatInevershallorcanbecomfortable-oranythingbutmiserable-there，Biddy！-unlessIcanleadaverydifferentsortoflifefromthelifeIleadnow。\'
`That\'sapity！\'saidBiddy，shakingherheadwithasorrowfulair。
Now，Itoohadsooftenthoughtitapity，that，inthesingularkindofquarrelwithmyselfwhichIwasalwayscarryingon，IwashalfinclinedtoshedtearsofvexationanddistresswhenBiddygaveutterancetohersentimentandmyown。Itoldhershewasright，andIknewitwasmuchtoberegretted，butstillitwasnottobehelped。
`IfIcouldhavesettleddown，\'IsaidtoBiddy，pluckinguptheshortgrasswithinreach，muchasIhadonceuponatimepulledmyfeelingsoutofmyhairandkickedthemintothebrewerywall:`ifIcouldhavesettleddownandbeenbuthalfasfondoftheforgeasIwaswhenIwaslittle，Iknowitwouldhavebeenmuchbetterforme。YouandIandJoewouldhavewantednothingthen，andJoeandIwouldperhapshavegonepartnerswhenIwasoutofmytime，andImightevenhavegrownuptokeepcompanywithyou，andwemighthavesatonthisverybankonafineSunday，quitedifferentpeople。Ishouldhavebeengoodenoughforyou；shouldn\'tI，Biddy？\'
Biddysighedasshelookedattheshipssailingon，andreturnedforanswer，`Yes；Iamnotover-particular。\'Itscarcelysoundedflattering，butIknewshemeantwell。
`Insteadofthat，\'saidI，pluckingupmoregrassandchewingabladeortwo，`seehowIamgoingon。Dissatisfied，anduncomfortable，and-
whatwoulditsignifytome，beingcoarseandcommon，ifnobodyhadtoldmeso！\'
Biddyturnedherfacesuddenlytowardsmine，andlookedfarmoreattentivelyatmethanshehadlookedatthesailingships。
`Itwasneitheraverytruenoraverypolitethingtosay，\'sheremarked，directinghereyestotheshipsagain。`Whosaidit？\'
Iwasdisconcerted，forIhadbrokenawaywithoutquiteseeingwhereIwasgoingto。Itwasnottobeshuffledoffnow，however，andIanswered，`ThebeautifulyoungladyatMissHavisham\'s，andshe\'smorebeautifulthananybodyeverwas，andIadmireherdreadfully，andIwanttobeagentlemanonheraccount。\'Havingmadethislunaticconfession，Ibegantothrowmytorn-upgrassintotheriver，asifIhadsomethoughtsoffollowingit。
`Doyouwanttobeagentleman，tospiteherortogainherover？\'Biddyquietlyaskedme，afterapause。
`Idon\'tknow，\'Imoodilyanswered。
`Because，ifitistospiteher，\'Biddypursued，`Ishouldthink-butyouknowbest-thatmightbebetterandmoreindependentlydonebycaringnothingforherwords。Andifitistogainherover，Ishouldthink-
butyouknowbest-shewasnotworthgainingover。\'
ExactlywhatImyselfhadthought，manytimes。Exactlywhatwasperfectlymanifesttomeatthemoment。ButhowcouldI，apoordazedvillagelad，avoidthatwonderfulinconsistencyintowhichthebestandwisestofmenfalleveryday？
`Itmaybeallquitetrue，\'saidItoBiddy，`butIadmireherdreadfully。\'
Inshort，IturnedoveronmyfacewhenIcametothat，andgotagoodgrasponthehaironeachsideofmyhead，andwrencheditwell。Allthewhileknowingthemadnessofmyhearttobesoverymadandmisplaced，thatIwasquiteconsciousitwouldhaveservedmyfaceright，ifIhadlifteditupbymyhair，andknockeditagainstthepebblesasapunishmentforbelongingtosuchanidiot。
Biddywasthewisestofgirls，andshetriedtoreasonnomorewithme。Sheputherhand，whichwasacomfortablehandthoughroughenedbywork，uponmyhands，oneafteranother，andgentlytookthemoutofmyhair。Thenshesoftlypattedmyshoulderinasoothingway，whilewithmyfaceuponmysleeveIcriedalittle-exactlyasIhaddoneinthebreweryyard-andfeltvaguelyconvincedthatIwasverymuchill-usedbysomebody，orbyeverybody；Ican\'tsaywhich。
`Iamgladofonething，\'saidBiddy，`andthatis，thatyouhavefeltyoucouldgivemeyourconfidence，Pip。AndIamgladofanotherthing，andthatis，thatofcourseyouknowyoumaydependuponmykeepingitandalwayssofardeservingit。Ifyourfirstteacherdear！suchapoorone，andsomuchinneedofbeingtaughtherself！hadbeenyourteacheratthepresenttime，shethinkssheknowswhatlessonshewouldset。ButItwouldbeahardonetolearn，andyouhavegotbeyondher，andit\'sofnousenow。\'So，withaquietsighforme，Biddyrosefromthebank，andsaid，withafreshandpleasantchangeofvoice，`Shallwewalkalittlefurther，orgohome？\'
`Biddy，\'Icried，gettingup，puttingmyarmroundherneck，andgivingherakiss，`Ishallalwaystellyoueverything。\'
`Tillyou\'reagentleman，\'saidBiddy。
`YouknowInevershallbe，sothat\'salways。NotthatIhaveanyoccasiontotellyouanything，foryouknoweverythingIknow-asItoldyouathometheothernight。\'
`Ah！\'saidBiddy，quiteinawhisper，asshelookedawayattheships。
Andthenrepeated，withherformerpleasantchange；`shallwewalkalittlefurther，orgohome？\'
IsaidtoBiddywewouldwalkalittlefurther，andwedidso，andthesummerafternoontoneddownintothesummerevening，anditwasverybeautiful。
IbegantoconsiderwhetherIwasnotmorenaturallyandwholesomelysituated，afterall，inthesecircumstances，thanplayingbeggarmyneighbourbycandlelightintheroomwiththestoppedclocks，andbeingdespisedbyEstella。IthoughtitwouldbeverygoodformeifIcouldgetheroutofmyhead，withalltherestofthoseremembrancesandfancies，andcouldgotoworkdeterminedtorelishwhatIhadtodo，andsticktoit，andmakethebestofit。IaskedmyselfthequestionwhetherIdidnotsurelyknowthatifEstellawerebesidemeatthatmomentinsteadofBiddy，shewouldmakememiserable？IwasobligedtoadmitthatIdidknowitforacertainty，andIsaidtomyself，`Pip，whatafoolyouare！\'
Wetalkedagooddealaswewalked，andallthatBiddysaidseemedright。
Biddywasneverinsulting，orcapricious，orBiddyto-dayandsomebodyelseto-morrow；shewouldhavederivedonlypain，andnopleasure，fromgivingmepain；shewouldfarratherhavewoundedherownbreastthanmine。
Howcoulditbe，then，thatIdidnotlikehermuchthebetterofthetwo？
`Biddy，\'saidI，whenwewerewalkinghomeward，`Iwishyoucouldputmeright。\'
`IwishIcould！\'saidBiddy。
`IfIcouldonlygetmyselftofallinlovewithyou-youdon\'tmindmyspeakingsoopenlytosuchanoldacquaintance？\'
`Ohdear，notatall！\'saidBiddy。`Don\'tmindme。\'
`IfIcouldonlygetmyselftodoit，thatwouldbethethingforme。\'
`Butyouneverwill，yousee，\'saidBiddy。
Itdidnotappearquitesounlikelytomethatevening，asitwouldhavedoneifwehaddiscusseditafewhoursbefore。IthereforeobservedIwasnotquitesureofthat。ButBiddysaidshewas，andshesaiditdecisively。InmyheartIbelievedhertoberight；andyetItookitratherill，too，thatsheshouldbesopositiveonthepoint。
Whenwecamenearthechurchyard，wehadtocrossanembankment，andgetoverastilenearasluicegate。Therestartedup，fromthegate，orfromtherushes，orfromtheoozewhichwasquiteinhisstagnantway，OldOrlick。
`Halloa！\'hegrowled，`whereareyoutwogoing？\'
`Whereshouldwebegoing，buthome？\'
`Wellthen，\'saidhe，`I\'mjiggeredifIdon\'tseeyouhome！\'
Thispenaltyofbeingjiggeredwasafavouritesupposititiouscaseofhis。HeattachednodefinitemeaningtothewordthatIamawareof，butusedit，likehisownpretendedChristianname，toaffrontmankind，andconveyanideaofsomethingsavagelydamaging。WhenIwasyounger，Ihadhadageneralbeliefthatifhehadjiggeredmepersonally，hewouldhavedoneitwithasharpandtwistedhook。
Biddywasmuchagainsthisgoingwithus，andsaidtomeinawhisper，`Don\'tlethimcome；Idon\'tlikehim。\'AsIdidnotlikehimeither，I
tookthelibertyofsayingthatwethankedhim，butwedidn\'twantseeinghome。Hereceivedthatpieceofinformationwithayelloflaughter，anddroppedback，butcameslouchingafterusatalittledistance。
CurioustoknowwhetherBiddysuspectedhimofhavinghadahandinthatmurderousattackofwhichmysisterhadneverbeenabletogiveanyaccount，Iaskedherwhyshedidnotlikehim。
`Oh！\'shereplied，glancingoverhershoulderasheslouchedafterus，`becauseI-Iamafraidhelikesme。\'
`Didheevertellyouhelikedyou？\'Iasked，indignantly。
`No，\'saidBiddy，glancingoverhershoulderagain，`henevertoldmeso；buthedancesatme，wheneverhecancatchmyeye。\'
Howevernovelandpeculiarthistestimonyofattachment，Ididnotdoubttheaccuracyoftheinterpretation。IwasveryhotindeeduponOldOrlick\'sdaringtoadmireher；ashotasifitwereanoutrageonmyself。
`Butitmakesnodifferencetoyou，youknow，\'saidBiddy，calmly。
`No，Biddy，itmakesnodifferencetome；onlyIdon\'tlikeit；Idon\'tapproveofit。\'
`NorIneither，\'saidBiddy。`Thoughthatmakesnodifferencetoyou。\'
`Exactly，\'saidI；`butImusttellyouIshouldhavenoopinionofyou，Biddy，ifhedancedatyouwithyourownconsent。\'
IkeptaneyeonOrlickafterthatnight，and，whenevercircumstanceswerefavourabletohisdancingatBiddy，gotbeforehim，toobscurethatdemonstration。HehadstruckrootinJoe\'sestablishment，byreasonofmysister\'ssuddenfancyforhim，orIshouldhavetriedtogethimdismissed。
Hequiteunderstoodandreciprocatedmygoodintentions，asIhadreasontoknowthereafter。
Andnow，becausemymindwasnotconfusedenoughbefore，Icomplicateditsconfusionfiftythousand-fold，byhavingstatesandseasonswhenI
wasclearthatBiddywasimmeasurablybetterthanEstella，andthattheplainhonestworkinglifetowhichIwasborn，hadnothinginittobeashamedof，butofferedmesufficientmeansofself-respectandhappiness。
Atthosetimes，IwoulddecideconclusivelythatmydisaffectiontodearoldJoeandtheforge，wasgone，andthatIwasgrowingupinafairwaytobepartnerswithJoeandtokeepcompanywithBiddy-whenallinamomentsomeconfoundingremembranceoftheHavishamdayswouldfalluponme，likeadestructivemissile，andscattermywitsagain。Scatteredwitstakealongtimepickingup；andoften，beforeIhadgotthemwelltogether，theywouldbedispersedinalldirectionsbyonestraythought，thatperhapsafterallMissHavishamwasgoingtomakemyfortunewhenmytimewasout。
Ifmytimehadrunout，itwouldhaveleftmestillattheheightofmyperplexities，Idaresay。Itneverdidrunout，however，butwasbroughttoaprematureend，asIproceedtorelate。
Chapter18
ITwasinthefourthyearofmyapprenticeshiptoJoe，anditwasaSaturdaynight。TherewasagroupassembledroundthefireattheThreeJollyBargemen，attentivetoMrWopsleashereadthenewspaperaloud。
OfthatgroupIwasone。
Ahighlypopularmurderhadbeencommitted，andMrWopslewasimbruedinbloodtotheeyebrows。Hegloatedovereveryabhorrentadjectiveinthedescription，andidentifiedhimselfwitheverywitnessattheInquest。
Hefaintlymoaned，`Iamdonefor，\'asthevictim，andhebarbarouslybellowed，`I\'llserveyouout，\'asthemurderer。Hegavethemedicaltestimony，inpointedimitationofourlocalpractitioner；andhepipedandshook，astheagedturnpike-keeperwhohadheardblows，toanextentsoveryparalyticastosuggestadoubtregardingthementalcompetencyofthatwitness。
Thecoroner，inMrWopsle\'shands，becameTimonofAthens；thebeadle，Coriolanus。Heenjoyedhimselfthoroughly，andweallenjoyedourselves，andweredelightfullycomfortable。InthiscozystateofmindwecametotheverdictWilfulMurder。
Then，andnotsooner，Ibecameawareofastrangegentlemanleaningoverthebackofthesettleoppositeme，lookingon。Therewasanexpressionofcontemptonhisface，andhebitthesideofagreatforefingerashewatchedthegroupoffaces。
`Well！\'saidthestrangertoMrWopsle，whenthereadingwasdone，`youhavesettleditalltoyourownsatisfaction，Ihavenodoubt？\'
Everybodystartedandlookedup，asifitwerethemurderer。Helookedateverybodycoldlyandsarcastically。
`Guilty，ofcourse？\'saidhe。`Outwithit。Come！\'
`Sir，\'returnedMrWopsle，`withouthavingthehonourofyouracquaintance，IdosayGuilty。\'Uponthis，wealltookcouragetouniteinaconfirmatorymurmur。
`Iknowyoudo，\'saidthestranger；`Iknewyouwould。Itoldyouso。
ButnowI\'llaskyouaquestion。Doyouknow，ordoyounotknow，thatthelawofEnglandsupposeseverymantobeinnocent，untilheisproved-proved-tobeguilty？\'
`Sir，\'MrWopslebegantoreply，`asanEnglishmanmyself，I——\'
`Come！\'saidthestranger，bitinghisforefingerathim。`Don\'tevadethequestion。Eitheryouknowit，oryoudon\'tknowit。Whichisittobe？\'
Hestoodwithhisheadononesideandhimselfononeside，inabullyinginterrogativemanner，andhethrewhisforefingeratMrWopsle-asitweretomarkhimout-beforebitingitagain。
`Now！\'saidhe。`Doyouknowit，ordon\'tyouknowit？\'
`CertainlyIknowit，\'repliedMrWopsle。
`Certainlyyouknowit。Thenwhydidn\'tyousaysoatfirst？Now，I\'llaskyouanotherquestion；\'takingpossessionofMrWopsle，asifhehadarighttohim。`Doyouknowthatnoneofthesewitnesseshaveyetbeencross-examined？\'
MrWopslewasbeginning，`Icanonlysay——\'whenthestrangerstoppedhim。
`What？Youwon\'tanswerthequestion，yesorno？Now，I\'lltryyouagain。\'
Throwinghisfingerathimagain。`Attendtome。Areyouaware，orareyounotaware，thatnoneofthesewitnesseshaveyetbeencross-examined？
Come，Ionlywantonewordfromyou。Yes，orno？\'
MrWopslehesitated，andweallbegantoconceiveratherapooropinionofhim。
`Come！\'saidthestranger，`I\'llhelpyou。Youdon\'tdeservehelp，butI\'llhelpyou。Lookatthatpaperyouholdinyourhand。Whatisit？\'
`Whatisit？\'repeatedMrWopsle，eyeingit，muchataloss。
`Isit，\'pursuedthestrangerinhismostsarcasticandsuspiciousmanner，`theprintedpaperyouhavejustbeenreadingfrom？\'
`Undoubtedly。\'
`Undoubtedly。Now，turntothatpaper，andtellmewhetheritdistinctlystatesthattheprisonerexpresslysaidthathislegaladvisersinstructedhimaltogethertoreservehisdefence？\'
`Ireadthatjustnow，\'MrWopslepleaded。
`Nevermindwhatyoureadjustnow，sir；Idon\'taskyouwhatyoureadjustnow。YoumayreadtheLord\'sPrayerbackwards，ifyoulike-and，perhaps，havedoneitbeforeto-day。Turntothepaper。No，no，nomyfriend；
nottothetopofthecolumn；youknowbetterthanthat；tothebottom，tothebottom。\'WeallbegantothinkMrWopslefullofsubterfuge。`Well？
Haveyoufoundit？\'
`Hereitis，\'saidMrWopsle。
`Now，followthatpassagewithyoureye，andtellmewhetheritdistinctlystatesthattheprisonerexpresslysaidthathewasinstructedbyhislegaladviserswhollytoreservehisdefence？Come！Doyoumakethatofit？\'
MrWopsleanswered，`Thosearenottheexactwords。\'
`Nottheexactwords！\'repeatedthegentleman，bitterly。`Isthattheexactsubstance？\'
`Yes，\'saidMrWopsle。
`Yes，\'repeatedthestranger，lookingroundattherestofthecompanywithhisrighthandextendedtowardsthewitness，Wopsle。`AndnowIaskyouwhatyousaytotheconscienceofthatmanwho，withthatpassagebeforehiseyes，canlayhisheaduponhispillowafterhavingpronouncedafellow-creatureguilty，unheard？\'
WeallbegantosuspectthatMrWopslewasnotthemanwehadthoughthim，andthathewasbeginningtobefoundout。
`Andthatsameman，remember，\'pursuedthegentleman，throwinghisfingeratMrWopsleheavily；`thatsamemanmightbesummonedasajurymanuponthisverytrial，and，havingthusdeeplycommittedhimself，mightreturntothebosomofhisfamilyandlayhisheaduponhispillow，afterdeliberatelyswearingthathewouldwellandtrulytrytheissuejoinedbetweenOurSovereignLordtheKingandtheprisoneratthebar，andwouldatrueverdictgiveaccordingtotheevidence，sohelphimGod！\'
WewerealldeeplypersuadedthattheunfortunateWopslehadgonetoofar，andhadbetterstopinhisrecklesscareerwhiletherewasyettime。
Thestrangegentleman，withanairofauthoritynottobedisputed，andwithamannerexpressiveofknowingsomethingsecretabouteveryoneofusthatwouldeffectuallydoforeachindividualifhechosetodiscloseit，leftthebackofthesettle，andcameintothespacebetweenthetwosettles，infrontofthefire，whereheremainedstanding:hislefthandinhispocket，andhebitingtheforefingerofhisright。
`FrominformationIhavereceived，\'saidhe，lookingroundatusasweallquailedbeforehim，`Ihavereasontobelievethereisablacksmithamongyou，bynameJoseph-orJoe-Gargery。Whichistheman？\'
`Hereistheman，\'saidJoe。
Thestrangegentlemanbeckonedhimoutofhisplace，andJoewent。
`Youhaveanapprentice，\'pursuedthestranger，`commonlyknownasPip？
Ishehere？\'
`Iamhere！\'Icried。
Thestrangerdidnotrecognizeme，butIrecognizedhimasthegentlemanIhadmetonthestairs，ontheoccasionofmysecondvisittoMissHavisham。
IhadknownhimthemomentIsawhimlookingoverthesettle，andnowthatIstoodconfrontinghimwithhishanduponmyshoulder，Icheckedoffagainindetail，hislargehead，hisdarkcomplexion，hisdeep-seteyes，hisbushyblackeyebrows，hislargewatch-chain，hisstrongblackdotsofbeardandwhisker，andeventhesmellofscentedsoaponhisgreathand。
`Iwishtohaveaprivateconferencewithyoutwo，\'saidhe，whenhehadsurveyedmeathisleisure。`Itwilltakealittletime。Perhapswehadbettergotoyourplaceofresidence。Iprefernottoanticipatemycommunicationhere；youwillimpartasmuchoraslittleofitasyoupleasetoyourfriendsafterwards；Ihavenothingtodowiththat。\'
Amidstawonderingsilence，wethreewalkedoutoftheJollyBargemen，andinawonderingsilencewalkedhome。Whilegoingalong，thestrangegentlemanoccasionallylookedatme，andoccasionallybitthesideofhisfinger。Aswenearedhome，Joevaguelyacknowledgingtheoccasionasanimpressiveandceremoniousone，wentonaheadtoopenthefrontdoor。Ourconferencewasheldinthestateparlour，whichwasfeeblylightedbyonecandle。
Itbeganwiththestrangegentleman\'ssittingdownatthetable，drawingthecandletohim，andlookingoversomeentriesinhispocket-book。Hethenputupthepocket-bookandsetthecandlealittleaside:afterpeeringrounditintothedarknessatJoeandme，toascertainwhichwaswhich。
`Myname，\'hesaid，`isJaggers，andIamalawyerinLondon。Iamprettywellknown。Ihaveunusualbusinesstotransactwithyou，andIcommencebyexplainingthatitisnotofmyoriginating。Ifmyadvicehadbeenasked，Ishouldnothavebeenhere。Itwasnotasked，andyouseemehere。WhatIhavetodoastheconfidentialagentofanother，Ido。Noless，nomore。\'
Findingthathecouldnotseeusverywellfromwherehesat，hegotup，andthrewonelegoverthebackofachairandleaneduponit；thushavingonefootontheseatofthechair，andonefootontheground。
`Now，JosephGargery，Iamthebearerofanoffertorelieveyouofthisyoungfellowyourapprentice。Youwouldnotobjecttocancelhisindentures，athisrequestandforhisgood？Youwouldwantnothingforsodoing？\'
`LordforbidthatIshouldwantanythingfornotstandinginPip\'sway，\'
saidJoe，staring。
`Lordforbiddingispious，butnottothepurpose，\'returnedMrJaggers。
`Thequestionis，Wouldyouwantanything？Doyouwantanything？\'
`Theansweris，\'returnedJoe，sternly，`No。\'
IthoughtMrJaggersglancedatJoe，asifheconsideredhimafoolforhisdisinterestedness。ButIwastoomuchbewilderedbetweenbreathlesscuriosityandsurprise，tobesureofit。
`Verywell，\'saidMrJaggers。`Recollecttheadmissionyouhavemade，anddon\'ttrytogofromitpresently。\'
`Who\'sa-goingtotry？\'retortedJoe。
`Idon\'tsayanybodyis。Doyoukeepadog？\'
`Yes，Idokeepadog。\'
`Bearinmindthen，thatBragisagooddog，butHoldfastisabetter。
Bearthatinmind，willyou？\'repeatedMrJaggers，shuttinghiseyesandnoddinghisheadatJoe，asifhewereforgivinghimsomething。`Now，I
returntothisyoungfellow。AndthecommunicationIhavegottomakeis，thathehasgreatexpectations。\'
JoeandIgasped，andlookedatoneanother。
`Iaminstructedtocommunicatetohim，\'saidMrJaggers，throwinghisfingeratmesideways，`thathewillcomeintoahandsomeproperty。Further，thatitisthedesireofthepresentpossessorofthatproperty，thathebeimmediatelyremovedfromhispresentsphereoflifeandfromthisplace，andbebroughtupasagentleman-inaword，asayoungfellowofgreatexpectations。\'
Mydreamwasout；mywildfancywassurpassedbysoberreality；MissHavishamwasgoingtomakemyfortuneonagrandscale。
`Now，MrPip，\'pursuedthelawyer，`IaddresstherestofwhatIhavetosay，toyou。Youaretounderstand，first，thatitistherequestofthepersonfromwhomItakemyinstructions，thatyoualwaysbearthenameofPip。Youwillhavenoobjection，Idaresay，toyourgreatexpectationsbeingencumberedwiththateasycondition。Butifyouhaveanyobjection，thisisthetimetomentionit。\'
Myheartwasbeatingsofast，andtherewassuchasinginginmyears，thatIcouldscarcelystammerIhadnoobjection。
`Ishouldthinknot！Nowyouaretounderstand，secondly，MrPip，thatthenameofthepersonwhoisyourliberalbenefactorremainsaprofoundsecret，untilthepersonchoosestorevealit。Iamempoweredtomentionthatitistheintentionofthepersontorevealitatfirsthandbywordofmouthtoyourself。Whenorwherethatintentionmaybecarriedout，Icannotsay；noonecansay。Itmaybeyearshence。Now，youaredistinctlytounderstandthatyouaremostpositivelyprohibitedfrommakinganyinquiryonthishead，oranyallusionorreference，howeverdistant，toanyindividualwhomsoeverastheindividual，inallthecommunicationsyoumayhavewithme。Ifyouhaveasuspicioninyourownbreast，keepthatsuspicioninyourownbreast。Itisnottheleasttothepurposewhatthereasonsofthisprohibitionare；theymaybethestrongestandgravestreasons，ortheymaybemerewhim。Thisisnotforyoutoinquireinto。Theconditionislaiddown。Youracceptanceofit，andyourobservanceofitasbinding，istheonlyremainingconditionthatIamchargedwith，bythepersonfromwhomItakemyinstructions，andforwhomIamnototherwiseresponsible。
Thatpersonisthepersonfromwhomyouderiveyourexpectations，andthesecretissolelyheldbythatpersonandbyme。Again，notaverydifficultconditionwithwhichtoencumbersuchariseinfortune；butifyouhaveanyobjectiontoit，thisisthetimetomentionit。Speakout。\'
Oncemore，IstammeredwithdifficultythatIhadnoobjection。
`Ishouldthinknot！Now，MrPip，Ihavedonewithstipulations。\'ThoughhecalledmeMrPip，andbeganrathertomakeuptome，hestillcouldnotgetridofacertainairofbullyingsuspicion；andevennowheoccasionallyshuthiseyesandthrewhisfingeratmewhilehespoke，asmuchastoexpressthatheknewallkindsofthingstomydisparagement，ifheonlychosetomentionthem。`Wecomenext，tomeredetailsofarrangement。Youmustknowthat，althoughIhaveusedtheterm\"expectations\"morethanonce，youarenotendowedwithexpectationsonly。Thereisalreadylodgedinmyhands，asumofmoneyamplysufficientforyoursuitableeducationandmaintenance。Youwillpleaseconsidermeyourguardian。Oh！\'forI
wasgoingtothankhim，`Itellyouatonce，Iampaidformyservices，orIshouldn\'trenderthem。Itisconsideredthatyoumustbebettereducated，inaccordancewithyouralteredposition，andthatyouwillbealivetotheimportanceandnecessityofatonceenteringonthatadvantage。\'
IsaidIhadalwayslongedforit。
`Nevermindwhatyouhavealwayslongedfor，MrPip，\'heretorted；`keeptotherecord。Ifyoulongforitnow，that\'senough。AmIansweredthatyouarereadytobeplacedatonce，undersomepropertutor？Isthatit？\'
Istammeredyes，thatwasit。
`Good。Now，yourinclinationsaretobeconsulted。Idon\'tthinkthatwise，mind，butit\'smytrust。Haveyoueverheardofanytutorwhomyouwouldprefertoanother？\'
IhadneverheardofanytutorbutBiddyandMrWopsle\'sgreataunt；
so，Irepliedinthenegative。
`Thereisacertaintutor，ofwhomIhavesomeknowledge，whoIthinkmightsuitthepurpose，\'saidMrJaggers。`Idon\'trecommendhim，observe；
becauseIneverrecommendanybody。ThegentlemanIspeakof，isoneMrMatthewPocket。\'
Ah！Icaughtatthenamedirectly。MissHavisham\'srelation。TheMatthewwhomMrandMrsCamillahadspokenof。TheMatthewwhoseplacewastobeatMissHavisham\'shead，whenshelaydead，inherbride\'sdressonthebride\'stable。
`Youknowthename？\'saidMrJaggers，lookingshrewdlyatme，andthenshuttinguphiseyeswhilehewaitedformyanswer。
Myanswerwas，thatIhadheardofthename。
`Oh！\'saidhe。`Youhaveheardofthename。Butthequestionis，whatdoyousayofit？\'
Isaid，ortriedtosay，thatIwasmuchobligedtohimforhisrecommendation——
`No，myyoungfriend！\'heinterrupted，shakinghisgreatheadveryslowly。
`Recollectyourself！\'
Notrecollectingmyself，IbeganagainthatIwasmuchobligedtohimforhisrecommendation——
`No，myyoungfriend，\'heinterrupted，shakinghisheadandfrowningandsmilingbothatonce；`no，no，no；it\'sverywelldone，butitwon\'tdo；youaretooyoungtofixmewithit。Recommendationisnottheword，MrPip。Tryanother。\'
Correctingmyself，IsaidthatIwasmuchobligedtohimforhismentionofMrMatthewPocket——
`That\'smorelikeit！\'criedMrJaggers-
AndIadded，Iwouldgladlytrythatgentleman。
`Good。Youhadbettertryhiminhisownhouse。Thewayshallbepreparedforyou，andyoucanseehimsonfirst，whoisinLondon。WhenwillyoucometoLondon？\'
IsaidglancingatJoe，whostoodlookingon，motionless，thatIsupposedIcouldcomedirectly。
`First，\'saidMrJaggers，`youshouldhavesomenewclothestocomein，andtheyshouldnotbeworkingclothes。Saythisdayweek。You\'llwantsomemoney。ShallIleaveyoutwentyguineas？\'
Heproducedalongpurse，withthegreatestcoolness，andcountedthemoutinthetableandpushedthemovertome。Thiswasthefirsttimehehadtakenhislegfromthechair。Hesatastrideofthechairwhenhehadpushedthemoneyover，andsatswinginghispurseandeyeingJoe。
`Well，JosephGargery？Youlookdumbfoundered？\'
`Iam！\'saidJoe，inaverydecidedmanner。
`Itwasunderstoodthatyouwantednothingforyourself，remember？\'
`Itwereunderstood，\'saidJoe。`Anditareunderstood。Anditeverwillbesimilaraccording。\'
`Butwhat，\'saidMrJaggers，swinginghispurse，`whatifitwasinmyinstructionstomakeyouapresent，ascompensation？\'
`Ascompensationwhatfor？\'Joedemanded。
`Forthelossofhisservices。\'
Joelaidhishanduponmyshoulderwiththetouchofawoman。Ihaveoftenthoughthimsince，likethesteam-hammer，thatcancrushamanorpatanegg-shell，inhiscombinationofstrengthwithgentleness。`Pipisthatheartywelcome，\'saidJoe，`togofreewithhisservices，tohonourandfortun\'，asnowordscantellhim。ButifyouthinkasMoneycanmakecompensationtomeforthelossofthelittlechild-whatcometotheforge-andeverthebestoffriends！——\'
OdeargoodJoe，whomIwassoreadytoleaveandsounthankfulto，Iseeyouagain，withyourmuscularblacksmith\'sarmbeforeyoureyes，andyourbroadchestheaving，andyourvoicedyingaway。OdeargoodfaithfultenderJoe，Ifeelthelovingtrembleofyourhanduponmyarm，assolemnlythisdayasifithadbeentherustleofanangel\'swing！
ButIencouragedJoeatthetime。Iwaslostinthemazesofmyfuturefortunes，andcouldnotretracetheby-pathswehadtroddentogether。I
beggedJoetobecomforted，forashesaidwehadeverbeenthebestoffriends，andasIsaidweeverwouldbeso。Joescoopedhiseyeswithhisdisengagedwrist，asifhewerebentongouginghimself，butsaidnotanotherword。
MrJaggershadlookedonatthis，asonewhorecognizedinJoethevillageidiot，andinmehiskeeper。Whenitwasover，hesaid，weighinginhishandthepursehehadceasedtoswing:
`Now，JosephGargery，Iwarnyouthisisyourlastchance。Nohalfmeasureswithme。IfyoumeantotakeapresentthatIhaveitinchargetomakeyou，speakout，andyoushallhaveit。Ifonthecontraryyoumeantosay——\'
Here，tohisgreatamazement，hewasstoppedbyJoe\'ssuddenlyworkingroundhimwitheverydemonstrationofafellpugilisticpurpose。
`WhichImeantersay，\'criedJoe，`thatifyoucomeintomyplacebull-baitingandbadgeringme，comeout！WhichImeantersayassechifyou\'reaman，comeon！WhichImeantersaythatwhatIsay，Imeantersayandstandorfallby！\'
IdrewJoeaway，andheimmediatelybecameplacable；merelystatingtome，inanobligingmannerandasapoliteexpostulatorynoticetoanyonewhomitmighthappentoconcern，thathewerenotagoingtobebull-baitedandbadgeredinhisownplace。MrJaggershadrisenwhenJoedemonstrated，andhadbackednearthedoor。Withoutevincinganyinclinationtocomeinagain，hetheredeliveredhisvaledictoryremarks。Theywerethese:
`Well，MrPip，Ithinkthesooneryouleavehere-asyouaretobeagentleman-thebetter。Letitstandforthisdayweek，andyoushallreceivemyprintedaddressinthemeantime。Youcantakeahackney-coachatthestage-coachofficeinLondon，andcomestraighttome。Understand，thatIexpressnoopinion，onewayorother，onthetrustIundertake。
Iampaidforundertakingit，andIdoso。Now，understandthat，finally。
Understandthat！\'
Hewasthrowinghisfingeratbothofus，andIthinkwouldhavegoneon，butforhisseemingtothinkJoedangerous，andgoingoff。
Somethingcameintomyheadwhichinducedmetorunafterhim，ashewasgoingdowntotheJollyBargemenwherehehadleftahiredcarriage。
`Ibegyourpardon，MrJaggers。\'
`Halloa！\'saidhe，facinground，`what\'sthematter？\'
`Iwishtobequiteright，MrJaggers，andtokeeptoyourdirections；
soIthoughtIhadbetterask。WouldtherebeanyobjectiontomytakingleaveofanyoneIknow，abouthere，beforeIgoaway？\'
`No，\'saidhe，lookingasifhehardlyunderstoodme。
`Idon\'tmeaninthevillageonly，butup-town？\'
`No，\'saidhe。`Noobjection。\'
Ithankedhimandranhomeagain，andthereIfoundthatJoehadalreadylockedthefrontdoorandvacatedthestateparlour，andwasseatedbythekitchenfirewithahandoneachknee，gazingintentlyattheburningcoals。Itoosatdownbeforethefireandgazedatthecoals，andnothingwassaidforalongtime。
Mysisterwasinhercushionedchairinhercorner，andBiddysatatherneedleworkbeforethefire，andJoesatnextBiddy，andIsatnextJoeinthecorneroppositemysister。ThemoreIlookedintotheglowingcoals，themoreincapableIbecameoflookingatJoe；thelongerthesilencelasted，themoreunableIfelttospeak。
AtlengthIgotout，`Joe，haveyoutoldBiddy？\'
`No，Pip，\'returnedJoe，stilllookingatthefire，andholdinghiskneestight，asifhehadprivateinformationthattheyintendedtomakeoffsomewhere，`whichIleftittoyourself，Pip。\'
`Iwouldratheryoutold，Joe。\'
`Pip\'sagentlemanoffortun\'then，\'saidJoe，`andGodblesshiminit！\'
Biddydroppedherwork，andlookedatme。Joeheldhiskneesandlookedatme。Ilookedatbothofthem。Afterapause，theybothheartilycongratulatedme；buttherewasacertaintouchofsadnessintheircongratulations，thatIratherresented。
ItookituponmyselftoimpressBiddyandthroughBiddy，JoewiththegraveobligationIconsideredmyfriendsunder，toknownothingandsaynothingaboutthemakerofmyfortune。Itwouldallcomeoutingoodtime，Iobserved，andinthemeanwhilenothingwastobesaid，savethatIhadcomeintogreatexpectationsfromamysteriouspatron。Biddynoddedherheadthoughtfullyatthefireasshetookupherworkagain，andsaidshewouldbeveryparticular；andJoe，stilldetaininghisknees，said，`Ay，ay，I\'llbeekervallypartickler，Pip；\'andthentheycongratulatedmeagain，andwentontoexpresssomuchwonderatthenotionofmybeingagentleman，thatIdidn\'thalflikeit。
InfinitepainswerethentakenbyBiddytoconveytomysistersomeideaofwhathadhappened。Tothebestofmybelief，thoseeffortsentirelyfailed。Shelaughedandnoddedherheadagreatmanytimes，andevenrepeatedafterBiddy，thewords`Pip\'and`Property。\'ButIdoubtiftheyhadmoremeaninginthemthananelectioncry，andIcannotsuggestadarkerpictureofherstateofmind。
Inevercouldhavebelieveditwithoutexperience，butasJoeandBiddybecamemoreattheircheerfuleaseagain，Ibecamequitegloomy。Dissatisfiedwithmyfortune，ofcourseIcouldnotbe；butitispossiblethatImayhavebeen，withoutquiteknowingit，dissatisfiedwithmyself。
Anyhow，Isatwithmyelbowonmykneeandmyfaceuponmyhand，lookingintothefire，asthosetwotalkedaboutmygoingaway，andaboutwhattheyshoulddowithoutme，andallthat。AndwheneverIcaughtoneofthemlookingatme，thoughneversopleasantlyandtheyoftenlookedatme-particularlyBiddy，Ifeltoffended:asiftheywereexpressingsomemistrustofme。ThoughHeavenknowstheyneverdidbywordorsign。
AtthosetimesIwouldgetupandlookoutatthedoor；for，ourkitchendooropenedatonceuponthenight，andstoodopenonsummereveningstoairtheroom。TheverystarstowhichIthenraisedmyeyes，IamafraidItooktobebutpoorandhumblestarsforglitteringontherusticobjectsamongwhichIhadpassedmylife。
`Saturdaynight，\'saidI，whenwesatatoursupperofbread-and-cheeseandbeer。`Fivemoredays，andthenthedaybeforetheday！They\'llsoongo。\'
`Yes，Pip，\'observedJoe，whosevoicesoundedhollowinhisbeermug。
`They\'llsoongo。\'
`Soon，soongo，\'saidBiddy。
`Ihavebeenthinking，Joe，thatwhenIgodownonMonday，andordermynewclothes，IshalltellthetailorthatI\'llcomeandputthemonthere，orthatI\'llhavethemsenttoMrPumblechook\'s。Itwouldbeverydisagreeabletobestaredatbyallthepeoplehere。\'
`MrandMrsHubblemightliketoseeyouinyournewgenteelfiguretoo，Pip，\'saidJoe，industriouslycuttinghisbread，withhischeeseonit，inthepalmofhislefthand，andglancingatmyuntastedsupperasifhethoughtofthetimewhenweusedtocompareslices。`SomightWopsle。
AndtheJollyBargemenmighttakeitasacompliment。\'
`That\'sjustwhatIdon\'twant，Joe。Theywouldmakesuchabusinessofit-suchacoarseandcommonbusiness-thatIcouldn\'tbearmyself。\'
`Ah，thatindeed，Pip！\'saidJoe。`Ifyoucouldn\'tabearyourself——\'
Biddyaskedmehere，asshesatholdingmysister\'splate，`Haveyouthoughtaboutwhenyou\'llshowyourselftoMrGargery，andyoursister，andme？Youwillshowyourselftous；won\'tyou？\'
`Biddy，\'Ireturnedwithsomeresentment，`youaresoexceedinglyquickthatit\'sdifficulttokeepupwithyou。\'
`Shealwayswerequick，\'observedJoe。
`Ifyouhadwaitedanothermoment，Biddy，youwouldhaveheardmesaythatIshallbringmyclotheshereinabundleoneevening-mostlikelyontheeveningbeforeIgoaway。\'
Biddysaidnomore。Handsomelyforgivingher，Isoonexchangedanaffectionategood-nightwithherandJoe，andwentuptobed。WhenIgotintomylittleroom，Isatdownandtookalonglookatit，asameanlittleroomthatIshouldsoonbepartedfromandraisedabove，forever，Itwasfurnishedwithfreshyoungremembrancestoo，andevenatthesamemomentIfellintomuchthesameconfuseddivisionofmindbetweenitandthebetterroomstowhichIwasgoing，asIhadbeeninsooftenbetweentheforgeandMissHavisham\'s，andBiddyandEstella。
Thesunhadbeenshiningbrightlyalldayontheroofofmyattic，andtheroomwaswarm。AsIputthewindowopenandstoodlookingout，IsawJoecomeslowlyforthatthedarkdoorbelow，andtakeaturnortwointheair；andthenIsawBiddycome，andbringhimapipeandlightitforhim。Heneversmokedsolate，anditseemedtohinttomethathewantedcomforting，forsomereasonorother。
Hepresentlystoodatthedoorimmediatelybeneathme，smokinghispipe，andBiddystoodtheretoo，quietlytalkingtohim，andIknewthattheytalkedofme，forIheardmynamementionedinanendearingtonebybothofthemmorethanonce。Iwouldnothavelistenedformore，ifIcouldhaveheardmore:so，Idrewawayfromthewindow，andsatdowninmyonechairbythebedside，feelingitverysorrowfulandstrangethatthisfirstnightofmybrightfortunesshouldbetheloneliestIhadeverknown。
Lookingtowardstheopenwindow，IsawlightwreathsfromJoe\'spipefloatingthere，andIfancieditwaslikeablessingfromJoe-notobtrudedonmeorparadedbeforeme，butpervadingtheairwesharedtogether。I
putmylightout，andcreptintobed；anditwasanuneasybednow，andIneverslepttheoldsoundsleepinitanymore。
Chapter19
MORNINGmadeaconsiderabledifferenceinmygeneralprospectofLife，andbrighteneditsomuchthatitscarcelyseemedthesame。Whatlayheaviestonmymind，was，theconsiderationthatsixdaysintervenedbetweenmeandthedayofdeparture；for，IcouldnotdivestmyselfofamisgivingthatsomethingmighthappentoLondoninthemeanwhile，andthat，whenIgotthere，itwouldbeeithergreatlydeterioratedorcleangone。
JoeandBiddywereverysympatheticandpleasantwhenIspokeofourapproachingseparation；buttheyonlyreferredtoitwhenIdid。Afterbreakfast，Joebroughtoutmyindenturesfromthepressinthebestparlour，andweputtheminthefire，andIfeltthatIwasfree。Withallthenoveltyofmyemancipationonme，IwenttochurchwithJoe，andthought，perhapstheclergymanwouldn\'thavereadthatabouttherichmanandthekingdomofHeaven，ifhehadknownall。
AfterourearlydinnerIstrolledoutalone，purposingoffinishoffthemarshesatonce，andgetthemdonewith。AsIpassedthechurch，I
feltasIhadfeltduringserviceinthemorningasublimecompassionforthepoorcreatureswhoweredestinedtogothere，SundayafterSunday，alltheirlivesthrough，andtolieobscurelyatlastamongthelowgreenmounds。IpromisedmyselfthatIwoulddosomethingforthemoneofthesedays，andformedaplaninoutlineforbestowingadinnerofroast-beefandplumpudding，apintofale，andagallonofcondescension，uponeverybodyinthevillage。
IfIhadoftenthoughtbefore，withsomethingalliedtoshame，ofmycompanionshipwiththefugitivewhomIhadonceseenlimpingamongthosegraves，whatweremythoughtsonthisSunday，whentheplacerecalledthewretch，raggedandshivering，withhisfelonironandbadge！Mycomfortwas，thatithappenedalongtimeago，andthathehaddoubtlessbeentransportedalongwayoff，andthathewasdeadtome，andmightbeveritablydeadintothebargain。
Nomorelowwetgrounds，nomoredykesandsluices，nomoreofthesegrazingcattle-thoughtheyseemed，intheirdullmanner，towearamorerespectfulairnow，andtofaceround，inorderthattheymightstareaslongaspossibleatthepossessorofsuchgreatexpectations-farewell，monotonousacquaintancesofmychildhood，henceforthIwasforLondonandgreatness:notforsmith\'sworkingeneralandforyou！ImademyexultantwaytotheoldBattery，and，lyingdowntheretoconsiderthequestionwhetherMissHavishamintendedmeforEstella，fellasleep。
WhenIawoke，IwasmuchsurprisedtofindJoesittingbesideme，smokinghispipe。Hegreetedmewithacheerfulsmileonmyopeningmyeyes，andsaid:
`Asbeingthelasttime，Pip，IthoughtI\'dfoller。\'
`AndJoe，Iamverygladyoudidso。\'
`Thankee，Pip。\'
`Youmaybesure，dearJoe，\'Iwenton，afterwehadshakenhands，`thatIshallneverforgetyou。\'
`No，no，Pip！\'saidJoe，inacomfortabletone，`I\'msureofthat。Ay，ay，oldchap！Blessyou，itwereonlynecessarytogetitwellroundinaman\'smind，tobecertainonit。Butittookabitoftimetogetitwellround，thechangecomesooncommonplump；didn\'tit？\'
Somehow，IwasnotbestpleasedwithJoe\'sbeingsomightilysecureofme。Ishouldhavelikedhimtohavebetrayedemotion，ortohavesaid，`Itdoesyoucredit，Pip，\'orsomethingofthatsort。Therefore，ImadenoremarkonJoe\'sfirsthead:merelysayingastohissecond，thatthetidingshadindeedcomesuddenly，butthatIhadalwayswantedtobeagentleman，andhadoftenandoftenspeculatedonwhatIwoulddo，ifI
wereone。
`Haveyouthough？\'saidJoe。`Astonishing！\'
`It\'sapitynow，Joe，\'saidI，`thatyoudidnotgetonalittlemore，whenwehadourlessonshere；isn\'tit？\'
`Well，Idon\'tknow，\'returnedJoe。`I\'msoawfuldull。I\'monlymasterofmyowntrade。ItwerealwaysapityasIwassoawfuldull；butit\'snomoreofapitynow，thanitwas-thisdaytwelvemonth-don\'tyousee？\'
WhatIhadmeantwas，thatwhenIcameintomypropertyandwasabletodosomethingforJoe，itwouldhavebeenmuchmoreagreeableifhehadbeenbetterqualifiedforariseinstation。Hewassoperfectlyinnocentofmymeaning，however，thatIthoughtIwouldmentionittoBiddyinpreference。
So，whenwehadwalkedhomeandhadhadtea，ItookBiddyintoourlittlegardenbythesideofthelane，and，afterthrowingoutinageneralwayforelevationofherspirits，thatIshouldneverforgether，saidIhadafavourtoaskofher。
`Anditis，Biddy，\'saidI，`thatyouwillnotomitanyopportunityofhelpingJoeon，alittle。\'
`Howhelpinghimon？\'askedBiddy，withasteadysortofglance。
`Well！Joeisadeargoodfellow-infact，Ithinkheisthedearestfellowthateverlived-butheisratherbackwardinsomethings。Forinstance，Biddy，inhislearningandhismanners。\'