Shewonthegame，andIdealt。Imisdealt，aswasonlynatural，whenIknewshewaslyinginwaitformetodowrong；andshedenouncedmeforastupid，clumsylabouring-boy。
`Yousaynothingofher，\'remarkedMissHavishamtome，asshelookedon。`Shesaysmanyhardthingsofyou，butyousaynothingofher。Whatdoyouthinkofher？\'
`Idon\'tliketosay，\'Istammered。
`Tellmeinmyear，\'saidMissHavisham，bendingdown。
`Ithinksheisveryproud，\'Ireplied，inawhisper。
`Anythingelse？\'
`Ithinksheisverypretty。\'
`Anythingelse？\'
`Ithinksheisveryinsulting。\'Shewaslookingatmethenwithalookofsupremeaversion。
`Anythingelse？\'
`IthinkIshouldliketogohome。\'
`Andneverseeheragain，thoughsheissopretty？\'
`IamnotsurethatIshouldn\'tliketoseeheragain，butIshouldliketogohomenow。\'
`Youshallgosoon，\'saidMissHavisham，aloud。`Playthegameout。\'
Savingfortheoneweirdsmileatfirst，IshouldhavefeltalmostsurethatMissHavisham\'sfacecouldnotsmile。Ithaddroppedintoawatchfulandbroodingexpression-mostlikelywhenallthethingsaboutherhadbecometransfixed-anditlookedasifnothingcouldeverliftitupagain。
Herchesthaddropped，sothatshestooped；andhervoicehaddropped，sothatshespokelow，andwithadeadlulluponher；altogether，shehadtheappearanceofhavingdropped，bodyandsoul，withinandwithout，undertheweightofacrushingblow。
IplayedthegametoanendwithEstella，andshebeggaredme。Shethrewthecardsdownonthetablewhenshehadwonthemall，asifshedespisedthemforhavingbeenwonofme。
`WhenshallIhaveyouhereagain？\'saidmissHavisham。`Letmethink。\'
Iwasbeginningtoremindherthatto-daywasWednesday，whenshecheckedmewithherformerimpatientmovementofthefingersofherrighthand。
`There，there！Iknownothingofdaysoftheweek；Iknownothingofweeksoftheyear。Comeagainaftersixdays。Youhear？\'
`Yes，ma\'am。\'
`Estella，takehimdown。Lethimhavesomethingtoeat，andlethimroamandlookabouthimwhileheeats。Go，Pip。\'
Ifollowedthecandledown，asIhadfollowedthecandleup，andshestooditintheplacewherewehadfoundit。Untilsheopenedthesideentrance，Ihadfancied，withoutthinkingaboutit，thatitmustnecessarilybenight-time。Therushofthedaylightquiteconfoundedme，andmademefeelasifIhadbeeninthecandlelightofthestrangeroommanyhours。
`Youaretowaithere，youboy，\'saidEstella；anddisappearedandclosedthedoor。
Itooktheopportunityofbeingaloneinthecourt-yard，tolookatmycoarsehandsandmycommonboots。Myopinionofthoseaccessorieswasnotfavourable。Theyhadnevertroubledmebefore，buttheytroubledmenow，asvulgarappendages。IdeterminedtoaskJoewhyhehadevertaughtmetocallthosepicture-cards，Jacks，whichoughttobecalledknaves。
IwishedJoehadbeenrathermoregenteellybroughtup，andthenIshouldhavebeensotoo。
Shecameback，withsomebreadandmeatandalittlemugofbeer。Sheputthemugdownonthestonesoftheyard，andgavemethebreadandmeatwithoutlookingatme，asinsolentlyasifIwereadogindisgrace。I
wassohumiliated，hurt，spurned，offended，angry，sorry-Icannothitupontherightnameforthesmart-Godknowswhatitsnamewas-thattearsstartedtomyeyes。Themomenttheysprangthere，thegirllookedatmewithaquickdelightinhavingbeenthecauseofthem。Thisgavemepowertokeepthembackandtolookather:so，shegaveacontemptuoustoss-butwithasense，Ithought，ofhavingmadetoosurethatIwassowounded-andleftme。
But，whenshewasgone，Ilookedaboutmeforaplacetohidemyfacein，andgotbehindoneofthegatesinthebrewery-lane，andleanedmysleeveagainstthewallthere，andleanedmyforeheadonitandcried。
AsIcried，Ikickedthewall，andtookahardtwistatmyhair；sobitterweremyfeelings，andsosharpwasthesmartwithoutaname，thatneededcounteraction。
Mysister\'sbringinguphadmademesensitive。Inthelittleworldinwhichchildrenhavetheirexistencewhosoeverbringsthemup，thereisnothingsofinelyperceivedandsofinelyfelt，asinjustice。Itmaybeonlysmallinjusticethatthechildcanbeexposedto；butthechildissmall，anditsworldissmall，anditsrocking-horsestandsasmanyhandshigh，accordingtoscale，asabig-bonedIrishhunter。Withinmyself，I
hadsustained，frommybabyhood，aperpetualconflictwithinjustice。I
hadknown，fromthetimewhenIcouldspeak，thatmysister，inhercapriciousandviolentcoercion，wasunjusttome。Ihadcherishedaprofoundconvictionthatherbringingmeupbyhand，gavehernorighttobringmeupbyjerks。
Throughallmypunishments，disgraces，fastsandvigils，andotherpenitentialperformances，Ihadnursedthisassurance；andtomycommuningsomuchwithit，inasolitaryandunprotectedway，IingreatpartreferthefactthatIwasmorallytimidandverysensitive。
Igotridofmyinjuredfeelingsforthetime，bykickingthemintothebrewerywall，andtwistingthemoutofmyhair，andthenIsmoothedmyfacewithmysleeve，andcamefrombehindthegate。Thebreadandmeatwereacceptable，andthebeerwaswarmingandtingling，andIwassooninspiritstolookaboutme。
Tobesure，itwasadesertedplace，downtothepigeon-houseinthebrewery-yard，whichhadbeenblowncrookedonitspolebysomehighwind，andwouldhavemadethepigeonsthinkthemselvesatsea，iftherehadbeenanypigeonstheretoberockedbyit。But，therewerenopigeonsinthedove-cot，nohorsesinthestable，nopigsinthesty，nomaltinthestore-house，nosmellsofgrainsandbeerinthecopperorthevat。Alltheusesandscentsofthebrewerymighthaveevaporatedwithitslastreekofsmoke。
Inaby-yard，therewasawildernessofemptycasks，whichhadacertainsourremembranceofbetterdayslingeringaboutthem；butitwastoosourtobeacceptedasasampleofthebeerthatwasgone-andinthisrespectIrememberthosereclusesasbeinglikemostothers。
Behindthefurthestendofthebrewery，wasarankgardenwithanoldwall:notsohighbutthatIcouldstruggleupandholdonlongenoughtolookoverit，andseethattherankgardenwasthegardenofthehouse，andthatitwasovergrownwithtangledweeds，butthattherewasatrackuponthegreenandyellowpaths，asifsomeonesometimeswalkedthere，andthatEstellawaswalkingawayfrommeeventhen。Butsheseemedtobeeverywhere。For，whenIyieldedtothetemptationpresentedbythecasks，andbegantowalkonthem。Isawherwalkingonthemattheendoftheyardofcasks。Shehadherbacktowardsme，andheldherprettybrownhairspreadoutinhertwohands，andneverlookedround，andpassedoutofmyviewdirectly。So，inthebreweryitself-bywhichImeanthelargepavedloftyplaceinwhichtheyusedtomakethebeer，andwherethebrewingutensilsstillwere。WhenIfirstwentintoit，and，ratheroppressedbyitsgloom，stoodnearthedoorlookingaboutme，Isawherpassamongtheextinguishedfires，andascendsomelightironstairs，andgooutbyagalleryhighoverhead，asifsheweregoingoutintothesky。
Itwasinthisplace，andatthismoment，thatastrangethinghappenedtomyfancy。Ithoughtitastrangethingthen，andIthoughtitastrangerthinglongafterwards。Iturnedmyeyes-alittledimmedbylookingupatthefrostylight-towardsagreatwoodenbeaminalownookofthebuildingnearmeonmyrighthand，andIsawafigurehangingtherebytheneck。Afigureallinyellowwhite，withbutoneshoetothefeet；
andithungso，thatIcouldseethatthefadedtrimmingsofthedresswerelikeearthypaper，andthatthefacewasMissHavisham\'s，withamovementgoingoverthewholecountenanceasifsheweretryingtocalltome。Intheterrorofseeingthefigure，andintheterrorofbeingcertainthatithadnotbeenthereamomentbefore，Iatfirstranfromit，andthenrantowardsit。Andmyterrorwasgreatestofall，whenIfoundnofigurethere。
Nothinglessthanthefrostylightofthecheerfulsky，thesightofpeoplepassingbeyondthebarsofthecourt-yardgate，andtherevivinginfluenceoftherestofthebreadandmeatandbeer，wouldhavebroughtmeround。Evenwiththoseaids，ImightnothavecometomyselfassoonasIdid，butthatIsawEstellaapproachingwiththekeys，toletmeout。
Shewouldhavesomefairreasonforlookingdownuponme，Ithought，ifshesawmefrightened；andsheshouldhavenofairreason。
Shegavemeatriumphantglanceinpassingme，asifsherejoicedthatmyhandsweresocoarseandmybootsweresothick，andsheopenedthegate，andstoodholdingit。Iwaspassingoutwithoutlookingather，whenshetouchedmewithatauntinghand。
`Whydon\'tyoucry？\'
`BecauseIdon\'twantto。\'
`Youdo，\'saidshe。`Youhavebeencryingtillyouarehalfblind，andyouarenearcryingagainnow。\'
Shelaughedcontemptuously，pushedmeout，andlockedthegateuponme。IwentstraighttoMrPumblechook\'s，andwasimmenselyrelievedtofindhimnotathome。So，leavingwordwiththeshopmanonwhatdayIwaswantedatMissHavisham\'sagain，Isetoffonthefour-milewalktoourforge；pondering，asIwentalong，onallIhadseen，anddeeplyrevolvingthatIwasacommonlabouring-boy；thatmyhandswerecoarse；thatmybootswerethick；thatIhadfallenintoadespicablehabitofcallingknavesJacks；thatIwasmuchmoreignorantthanIhadconsideredmyselflastnight，andgenerallythatIwasinalow-livedbadway。
Chapter9
WHENIreachedhome，mysisterwasverycurioustoknowallaboutMissHavisham\'s，andaskedanumberofquestions。AndIsoonfoundmyselfgettingheavilybumpedfrombehindinthenapeoftheneckandthesmalloftheback，andhavingmyfaceignominiouslyshovedagainstthekitchenwall，becauseIdidnotanswerthosequestionsatsufficientlength。
Ifadreadofnotbeingunderstoodbehiddeninthebreastsofotheryoungpeopletoanythingliketheextenttowhichitusedtobehiddeninmine-whichIconsiderprobable，asIhavenoparticularreasontosuspectmyselfofhavingbeenamonstrosity-itisthekeytomanyreservations。
IfeltconvincedthatifIdescribedMissHavisham\'sasmyeyeshadseenit，Ishouldnotbeunderstood。Notonlythat，butIfeltconvincedthatMissHavishamtoowouldnotbeunderstood；andalthoughshewasperfectlyincomprehensibletome，IentertainedanimpressionthattherewouldbesomethingcoarseandtreacherousinmydraggingherasshereallywastosaynothingofMissEstellabeforethecontemplationofMrsJoe。Consequently，IsaidaslittleasIcould，andhadmyfaceshovedagainstthekitchenwall。
TheworstofitwasthatthatbullyingoldPumblechook，preyeduponbyadevouringcuriositytobeinformedofallIhadseenandheard，camegapingoverinhischaise-cartattea-time，tohavethedetailsdivulgedtohim。Andthemeresightofthetorment，withhisfishyeyesandmouthopen，hissandyhairinquisitivelyonend，andhiswaistcoatheavingwithwindyarithmetic，mademeviciousinmyreticence。
`Well，boy，\'UnclePumblechookbegan，assoonashewasseatedinthechairofhonourbythefire。`Howdidyougetonuptown？\'
Ianswered，`Prettywell，sir，\'andmysistershookherfistatme。
`Prettywell？\'Mr。Pumblechookrepeated。`Prettywellisnoanswer。
Telluswhatyoumeanbyprettywell，boy？\'
Whitewashontheforeheadhardensthebrainintoastateofobstinacyperhaps。Anyhow，withwhitewashfromthewallonmyforehead，myobstinacywasadamantine。Ireflectedforsometime，andthenansweredasifIhaddiscoveredanewidea，`Imeanprettywell。\'
Mysisterwithanexclamationofimpatiencewasgoingtoflyatme-
Ihadnoshadowofdefence，forJoewasbusyintheforgewhenMrPumblechookinterposedwith`No！Don\'tloseyourtemper。Leavethisladtome，ma\'am；
leavethisladtome。\'MrPumblechookthenturnedmetowardshim，asifheweregoingtocutmyhair，andsaid:
`Firsttogetourthoughtsinorder:Forty-threepence？\'
Icalculatedtheconsequencesofreplying`FourHundredPound，\'andfindingthemagainstme，wentasneartheanswerasIcould-whichwassomewhereabouteightpenceoff。MrPumblechookthenputmethroughmypence-tablefrom`twelvepencemakeoneshilling，\'upto`fortypencemakethreeandfourpence，\'andthentriumphantlydemanded，asifhehaddoneforme，`Now！Howmuchisforty-threepence？\'TowhichIreplied，afteralongintervalofreflection，`Idon\'tknow。\'AndIwassoaggravatedthatIalmostdoubtifIdidknow。
MrPumblechookworkedhisheadlikeascrewtoscrewitoutofme，andsaid，`Isforty-threepencesevenandsixpencethreefardens，forinstance？\'
`Yes！\'saidI。Andalthoughmysisterinstantlyboxedmyears，itwashighlygratifyingtometoseethattheanswerspoilthisjoke，andbroughthimtoadeadstop。
`Boy！WhatlikeisMissHavisham？\'MrPumblechookbeganagainwhenhehadrecovered；foldinghisarmstightonhischestandapplyingthescrew。
`Verytallanddark，\'Itoldhim。
`Isshe，uncle？\'askedmysister。
MrPumblechookwinkedassent；fromwhichIatonceinferredthathehadneverseenMissHavisham，forshewasnothingofthekind。
`Good！\'saidMrPumblechookconceitedly。`Thisisthewaytohavehim！
Wearebeginningtoholdourown，Ithink，Mum？\'
`Iamsure，uncle，\'returnedMrsJoe，`Iwishyouhadhimalways:youknowsowellhowtodealwithhim。\'
`Now，boy！Whatwassheadoingof，whenyouwentintoday？\'askedMrPumblechook。
`Shewassitting，\'Ianswered，`inablackvelvetcoach。\'
MrPumblechookandMrsJoestaredatoneanother-astheywellmight-andbothrepeated，`Inablackvelvetcoach？\'
`Yes，\'saidI。`AndMissEstella-that\'sherniece，Ithink-handedherincakeandwineatthecoach-window，onagoldplate。Andweallhadcakeandwineongoldplates。AndIgotupbehindthecoachtoeatmine，becauseshetoldmeto。\'
`Wasanybodyelsethere？\'askedMrPumblechook。
`Fourdogs，\'saidI。
`Largeorsmall？\'
`Immense，\'saidI。`Andtheyfoughtforvealcutletsoutofasilverbasket。\'
MrPumblechookandMrsJoestaredatoneanotheragain，inutteramazement。
Iwasperfectlyfrantic-arecklesswitnessunderthetorture-andwouldhavetoldthemanything。
`Wherewasthiscoach，inthenameofgracious？\'askedmysister。
`InMissHavisham\'sroom。\'Theystaredagain。`Butthereweren\'tanyhorsestoit。\'Iaddedthissavingclause，inthemomentofrejectingfourrichlycaparisonedcourserswhichIhadhadwildthoughtsofharnessing。
`Canthisbepossible，uncle？\'askedMrsJoe。`Whatcantheboymean？\'
`I\'lltellyou，Mum，\'saidMrPumblechook。`Myopinionis，it\'sasedan-chair。
She\'sflighty，youknow-veryflighty-quiteflightyenoughtopassherdaysinasedan-chair。\'
`Didyoueverseeherinit，uncle？\'askedMrsJoe。
`HowcouldI，\'hereturned，forcedtotheadmission，`whenIneverseeherinmylife？Neverclappedeyesuponher！\'
`Goodness，uncle！Andyetyouhavespokentoher？\'
`Why，don\'tyouknow，\'saidMrPumblechook，testily，`thatwhenIhavebeenthere，Ihavebeentookuptotheoutsideofherdoor，andthedoorhasstoodajar，andshehasspoketomethatway。Don\'tsayyoudon\'tknowthat，Mum。Howsever，theboywenttheretoplay。Whatdidyouplayat，boy？\'
`Weplayedwithflags，\'Isaid。IbegtoobservethatIthinkofmyselfwithamazement，whenIrecalltheliesItoldonthisoccasion。
`Flags！\'echoedmysister。
`Yes，\'saidI。`Estellawavedablueflag，andIwavedaredone，andMissHavishamwavedonesprinkledalloverwithlittlegoldstars，outatthecoach-window。Andthenweallwavedourswordsandhurrahed。\'
`Swords！\'repeatedmysister。`Wheredidyougetswordsfrom？\'
`Outofacupboard，\'sandI。`AndIsawpistolsinit-andjam-andpills。Andtherewasnodaylightintheroom，butitwasalllightedupwithcandles。\'
`That\'strue，Mum，\'saidMrPumblechook，withagravenod。`That\'sthestateofthecase，forthatmuchI\'veseenmyself。\'Andthentheybothstaredatme，andI，withanobtrusiveshowofartlessnessonmycountenance，staredatthem，andplaitedtherightlegofmytrouserswithmyrighthand。
IftheyhadaskedmeanymorequestionsIshouldundoubtedlyhavebetrayedmyself，forIwaseventhenonthepointofmentioningthattherewasaballoonintheyard，andshouldhavehazardedthestatementbutformyinventionbeingdividedbetweenthatphenomenonandabearinthebrewery。
Theyweresomuchoccupied，however，indiscussingthemarvelsIhadalreadypresentedfortheirconsideration，thatIescaped。ThesubjectstillheldthemwhenJoecameinfromhisworktohaveacupoftea。Towhommysister，moreforthereliefofherownmindthanforthegratificationofhis，relatedmypretendedexperiences。
Now，whenIsawJoeopenhisblueeyesandrollthemallroundthekitcheninhelplessamazement，Iwasovertakenbypenitence；butonlyasregardedhim-notintheleastasregardedtheothertwo。TowardsJoe，andJoeonly，Iconsideredmyselfayoungmonster，whiletheysatdebatingwhatresultswouldcometomefromMissHavisham\'sacquaintanceandfavour。
TheyhadnodoubtthatMissHavishamwould`dosomething\'forme；theirdoubtsrelatedtotheformthatsomethingwouldtake。Mysisterstoodoutfor`property。\'MrPumblechookwasinfavourofahandsomepremiumforbindingmeapprenticetosomegenteeltrade-say，thecornandseedtrade，forinstance。Joefellintothedeepestdisgracewithboth，forofferingthebrightsuggestionthatImightonlybepresentedwithoneofthedogswhohadfoughtfortheveal-cutlets。`Ifafool\'sheadcan\'texpressbetteropinionsthanthat，\'saidmysister，`andyouhavegotanyworktodo，youhadbettergoanddoit。\'Sohewent。
AfterMrPumblechookhaddrivenoff，andwhenmysisterwaswashingup，IstoleintotheforgetoJoe，andremainedbyhimuntilhehaddoneforthenight。ThenIsaid，`Beforethefiregoesout，Joe，Ishouldliketotellyousomething。\'
`Shouldyou，Pip？\'saidJoe，drawinghisshoeing-stoolneartheforge。
`Thentellus。Whatisit，Pip？\'
`Joe，\'saidI，takingholdofhisrolled-upshirtsleeve，andtwistingitbetweenmyfingerandthumb，`yourememberallthataboutMissHavisham\'s？\'
`Remember？\'saidJoe。`Ibelieveyou！Wonderful！\'
`It\'saterriblething，Joe；itain\'ttrue。\'
`Whatareyoutellingof，Pip？\'criedJoe，fallingbackinthegreatestamazement。`Youdon\'tmeantosayit\'s——\'
`YesIdo；it\'slies，Joe。\'
`Butnotallofit？Whysureyoudon\'tmeantosay，Pip，thattherewasnoblackwelwetco-eh？\'For，Istoodshakingmyhead。`Butatleasttherewasdogs，Pip？Come，Pip，\'saidJoe，persuasively，`iftherewarn\'tnoweal-cutlets，atleasttherewasdogs？\'
`No，Joe。\'
`Adog？\'saidJoe。`Apuppy？Come？\'
`No，Joe，therewasnothingatallofthekind。\'
AsIfixedmyeyeshopelesslyonJoe，Joecontemplatedmeindismay。
`Pip，oldchap！Thiswon\'tdo，oldfellow！Isay！Wheredoyouexpecttogoto？\'
`It\'sterrible，Joe；an\'tit？\'
`Terrible？\'criedJoe。`Awful！Whatpossessedyou？\'
`Idon\'tknowwhatpossessedme，Joe，\'Ireplied，lettinghisshirtsleevego，andsittingdownintheashesathisfeet，hangingmyhead；
`butIwishyouhadn\'ttaughtmetocallKnavesatcards，Jacks；andI
wishmybootsweren\'tsothicknotmyhandssocoarse。\'
AndthenItoldJoethatIfeltverymiserable，andthatIhadn\'tbeenabletoexplainmyselftoMrsJoeandPumblechookwhoweresorudetome，andthattherehadbeenabeautifulyoungladyatMissHavisham\'swhowasdreadfullyproud，andthatshehadsaidIwascommon，andthatIknewI
wascommon，andthatIwishedIwasnotcommon，andthatthelieshadcomeofitsomehow，thoughIdidn\'tknowhow。
Thiswasacaseofmetaphysics，atleastasdifficultforJoetodealwith，asforme。ButJoetookthecasealtogetheroutoftheregionofmetaphysics，andbythatmeansvanquishedit。
`There\'sonethingyoumaybesureof，Pip，\'saidJoe，aftersomerumination，`namely，thatliesislies。Howsevertheycome，theydidn\'toughttocome，andtheycomefromthefatheroflies，andworkroundtothesame。Don\'tyoutellnomoreof\'em，Pip。Thatain\'tthewaytogetoutofbeingcommon，oldchap。Andastobeingcommon，Idon\'tmakeitoutatallclear。
Youareoncommoninsomethings。You\'reoncommonsmall。Likewiseyou\'reaoncommonscholar。\'
`No，Iamignorantandbackward，Joe。\'
`Why，seewhataletteryouwrotelastnight！Wroteinprinteven！I\'veseenletters-Ah！andfromgentlefolks！-thatI\'llswearweren\'twroteinprint，\'saidJoe。
`Ihavelearntnexttonothing，Joe。Youthinkmuchofme。It\'sonlythat。\'
`Well，Pip，\'saidJoe，`beitsoorbeitson\'t，youmustbeacommonscholaraforeyoucanbeaoncommonone，Ishouldhope！Thekinguponhisthrone，withhiscrownuponhis\'ed，can\'tsitandwritehisactsofParliamentinprint，withouthavingbegun，whenhewereaunpromotedPrince，withthealphabet-Ah！\'addedJoe，withashakeoftheheadthatwasfullofmeaning，`andbegunatAtoo，andworkedhiswaytoZ。AndIknowwhatthatistodo，thoughIcan\'tsayI\'veexactlydoneit。\'
Therewassomehopeinthispieceofwisdom，anditratherencouragedme。
`Whethercommononesastocallingsandearnings，\'pursuedJoe，reflectively，`mightn\'tbethebetterofcontinuingforakeepcompanywithcommonones，insteadofgoingouttoplaywithoncommonones-whichremindsmetohopethattherewereaflag，perhaps？\'
`No，Joe。\'
`I\'msorrythereweren\'taflag，Pip。Whetherthatmightbe，ormightn\'tbe，isathingascan\'tbelookedintonow，withoutputtingyoursisterontheRampage；andthat\'sathingnottobethoughtof，asbeingdoneintentional。Lookeehere，Pip，atwhatissaidtoyoubyatruefriend。
Whichthistoyouthetruefriendsay。Ifyoucan\'tgettobeoncommonthroughgoingstraight，you\'llnevergettodoitthroughgoingcrooked。
Sodon\'ttellnomoreon\'em，Pip，andlivewellanddiehappy。\'
`Youarenotangrywithme，Joe？\'
`No，oldchap。ButbearinginmindthatthemwerewhichImeantersayofastunningandoutdacioussort-alludingtothemwhichborderedonweal-cutletsanddog-fighting-asincerewellwisherwouldadwise，Pip，theirbeingdroppedintoyourmeditations，whenyougoup-stairstobed。
That\'sall，oldchap，anddon\'tneverdoitnomore。\'
WhenIgotuptomylittleroomandsaidmyprayers，IdidnotforgetJoe\'srecommendation，andyetmyyoungmindwasinthatdisturbedandunthankfulstate，thatIthoughtlongafterIlaidmedown，howcommonEstellawouldconsiderJoe，amereblacksmith:howthickhisboots，andhowcoarsehishands。IthoughthowJoeandmysisterwerethensittinginthekitchen，andhowIhadcomeuptobedfromthekitchen，andhowMissHavishamandEstellaneversatinakitchen，butwerefarabovethelevelofsuchcommondoings。IfellasleeprecallingwhatI`usedtodo\'whenIwasatMissHavisham\'s；asthoughIhadbeenthereweeksormonths，insteadofhours；
andasthoughitwerequiteanoldsubjectofremembrance，insteadofonethathadarisenonlythatday。
Thatwasamemorabledaytome，foritmadegreatchangesinme。But，itisthesamewithanylife。Imagineoneselecteddaystruckoutofit，andthinkhowdifferentitscoursewouldhavebeen。Pauseyouwhoreadthis，andthinkforamomentofthelongchainofironorgold，ofthornsorflowers，thatwouldneverhaveboundyou，butfortheformationofthefirstlinkononememorableday。
Chapter10
THEfelicitousideaoccurredtomeamorningortwolaterwhenIwoke，thatthebeststepIcouldtaketowardsmakingmyselfuncommonwastogetoutofBiddyeverythingsheknew。InpursuanceofthisluminousconceptionImentionedtoBiddywhenIwenttoMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt\'satnight，thatIhadaparticularreasonforwishingtogetoninlife，andthatIshouldfeelverymuchobligedtoherifshewouldimpartallherlearningtome。Biddy，whowasthemostobligingofgirls，immediatelysaidshewould，andindeedbegantocarryoutherpromisewithinfiveminutes。
TheEducationalschemeorCourseestablishedbyMrWopsle\'sgreat-auntmayberesolvedintothefollowingsynopsis。Thepupilsateapplesandputstrawsdownoneanother\'sbacks，untilMrWopsle\'sgreat-auntcollectedherenergies，andmadeanindiscriminatetotteratthemwithabirch-rod。
Afterreceivingthechargewitheverymarkofderision，thepupilsformedinlineandbuzzinglypassedaraggedbookfromhandtohand。Thebookhadanalphabetinit，somefiguresandtables，andalittlespelling-
thatistosay，ithadhadonce。Assoonasthisvolumebegantocirculate，MrWopsle\'sgreat-auntfellintoastateofcoma；arisingeitherfromsleeporarheumaticparoxysm。ThepupilsthenenteredamongthemselvesuponacompetitiveexaminationonthesubjectofBoots，withtheviewofascertainingwhocouldtreadthehardestuponwhosetoes。ThismentalexerciselasteduntilBiddymadearushatthemanddistributedthreedefacedBiblesshapedasiftheyhadbeenunskilfullycutoffthechump-endofsomething，moreillegiblyprintedatthebestthananycuriositiesofliteratureIhavesincemetwith，speckledalloverwithironmould，andhavingvariousspecimensoftheinsectworldsmashedbetweentheirleaves。ThispartoftheCoursewasusuallylightenedbyseveralsinglecombatsbetweenBiddyandrefractorystudents。Whenthefightswereover，Biddygaveoutthenumberofapage，andthenweallreadaloudwhatwecould-orwhatwecouldn\'t-inafrightfulchorus；Biddyleadingwithahighshrillmonotonousvoice，andnoneofushavingtheleastnotionof，orreverencefor，whatwewerereadingabout。
Whenthishorribledinhadlastedacertaintime，itmechanicallyawokeMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt，whostaggeredataboyfortuitously，andpulledhisears。ThiswasunderstoodtoterminatetheCoursefortheevening，andweemergedintotheairwithshrieksofintellectualvictory。Itisfairtoremarkthattherewasnoprohibitionagainstanypupil\'sentertaininghimselfwithaslateorevenwiththeinkwhentherewasany，butthatitwasnoteasytopursuethatbranchofstudyinthewinterseason，onaccountofthelittlegeneralshopinwhichtheclasseswereholden-andwhichwasalsoMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt\'ssitting-roomandbed-chamber-
beingbutfaintlyilluminatedthroughtheagencyofonelow-spiriteddip-candleandnosnuffers。
Itappearedtomethatitwouldtaketime，tobecomeuncommonunderthesecircumstances:nevertheless，Iresolvedtotryit，andthatveryeveningBiddyenteredonourspecialagreement，byimpartingsomeinformationfromherlittlecatalogueofPrices，undertheheadofmoistsugar，andlendingme，tocopyathome，alargeoldEnglishDwhichshehadimitatedfromtheheadingofsomenewspaper，andwhichIsupposed，untilshetoldmewhatitwas，tobeadesignforabuckle。
Ofcoursetherewasapublic-houseinthevillage，andofcourseJoelikedsometimestosmokehispipethere。IhadreceivedstrictordersfrommysistertocallforhimattheThreeJollyBargemen，thatevening，onmywayfromschool，andbringhimhomeatmyperil。TotheThreeJollyBargemen，therefore，Idirectedmysteps。
TherewasabarattheJollyBargemen，withsomealarminglylongchalkscoresinitonthewallatthesideofthedoor，whichseemedtometobeneverpaidoff。TheyhadbeenthereeversinceIcouldremember，andhadgrownmorethanIhad。Buttherewasaquantityofchalkaboutourcountry，andperhapsthepeopleneglectednoopportunityofturningittoaccount。
ItbeingSaturdaynight，Ifoundthelandlordlookingrathergrimlyattheserecords，butasmybusinesswaswithJoeandnotwithhim，Imerelywishedhimgoodevening，andpassedintothecommonroomattheendofthepassage，wheretherewasabrightlargekitchenfire，andwhereJoewassmokinghispipeincompanywithMrWopsleandastranger。Joegreetedmeasusualwith`Halloa，Pip，oldchap！\'andthemomenthesaidthat，thestrangerturnedhisheadandlookedatme。
Hewasasecret-lookingmanwhomIhadneverseenbefore。Hisheadwasallononeside，andoneofhiseyeswashalfshutup，asifheweretakingaimatsomethingwithaninvisiblegun。Hehadapipeinhismouth，andhetookitout，and，afterslowlyblowingallhissmokeawayandlookinghardatmeallthetime，nodded。So，Inodded，andthenhenoddedagain，andmaderoomonthesettlebesidehimthatImightsitdownthere。
But，asIwasusedtositbesideJoewheneverIenteredthatplaceofresort，Isaid`No，thankyou，sir，\'andfellintothespaceJoemadeformeontheoppositesettle。Thestrangeman，afterglancingatJoe，andseeingthathisattentionwasotherwiseengaged，noddedtomeagainwhenIhadtakenmyseat，andthenrubbedhisleg-inaveryoddway，asitstruckme。
`Youwassaying，\'saidthestrangeman，turningtoJoe，`thatyouwasablacksmith。\'
`Yes。Isaidit，youknow，\'saidJoe。
`What\'llyoudrink，Mr-？Youdidn\'tmentionyourname，by-the-bye。\'
Joementioneditnow，andthestrangemancalledhimbyit。`What\'llyoudrink，MrGargery？Atmyexpense？Totopupwith？\'
`Well，\'saidJoe，`totellyouthetruth，Iain\'tmuchinthehabitofdrinkingatanybody\'sexpensebutmyown。\'
`Habit？No，\'returnedthestranger，`butonceandaway，andonaSaturdaynighttoo。Come！Putanametoit，MrGargery。\'
`Iwouldn\'twishtobestiffcompany，\'saidJoe。`Rum。\'
`Rum，\'repeatedthestranger。`Andwilltheothergentlemanoriginateasentiment。\'
`Rum，\'saidMrWopsle。
`ThreeRums！\'criedthestranger，callingtothelandlord。`Glassesround！\'
`Thisothergentleman，\'observedJoe，bywayofintroducingMrWopsle，`isagentlemanthatyouwouldliketoheargiveitout。Ourclerkatchurch。\'
`Aha！\'saidthestranger，quickly，andcockinghiseyeatme。`Thelonelychurch，rightoutonthemarshes，withgravesroundit！\'
`That\'sit，\'saidJoe。
Thestranger，withacomfortablekindofgruntoverhispipe，puthislegsuponthesettlethathehadtohimself。Heworeaflappingbroad-brimmedtraveller\'shat，andunderitahandkerchieftiedoverhisheadinthemannerofacap:sothatheshowednohair。Ashelookedatthefire，I
thoughtIsawacunningexpression，followedbyahalf-laugh，comeintohisface。
`Iamnotacquaintedwiththiscountry，gentlemen，butitseemsasolitarycountrytowardstheriver。\'
`Mostmarshesissolitary，\'saidJoe。
`Nodoubt，nodoubt。Doyoufindanygipsies，now，ortramps，orvagrantsofanysort，outthere？\'
`No，\'saidJoe；`nonebutarunawayconvictnowandthen。Andwedon\'tfindthem，easy。Eh，MrWopsle？\'
MrWopsle，withamajesticremembranceofolddiscomfiture，assented；
butnotwarmly。
`Seemsyouhavebeenoutaftersuch？\'askedthestranger。
`Once，\'returnedJoe。`Notthatwewantedtotakethem，youunderstand；
wewentoutaslookerson；me，andMrWopsle，andPip。Didn\'tus，Pip？\'
`Yes，Joe。\'
Thestrangerlookedatmeagain-stillcockinghiseye，asifhewereexpresslytakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun-andsaid，`He\'salikelyyoungparcelofbonesthat。Whatisityoucallhim？\'
`Pip，\'saidJoe。
`ChristenedPip？\'
`No，notchristenedPip。\'
`SurnamePip？\'
`No，\'saidJoe，`it\'sakindoffamilynamewhathegavehimselfwhenainfant，andiscalledby。\'
`Sonofyours？\'
`Well，\'saidJoe，meditatively-not，ofcourse，thatitcouldbeinanywisenecessarytoconsideraboutit，butbecauseitwasthewayattheJollyBargementoseemtoconsiderdeeplyabouteverythingthatwasdiscussedoverpipes；`well-no。No，heain\'t。\'
`Nevvy？\'saidthestrangeman。
`Well，\'saidJoe，withthesameappearanceofprofoundcogitation，`heisnot-no，nottodeceiveyou，heisnot-mynevvy。\'
`WhattheBlueBlazesishe？\'askedthestranger。Whichappearedtometobeaninquiryofunnecessarystrength。
Mr。Wopslestruckinuponthat；asonewhoknewallaboutrelationships，havingprofessionaloccasiontobearinmindwhatfemalerelationsamanmightnotmarry；andexpoundedthetiesbetweenmeandJoe。Havinghishandin，MrWopslefinishedoffwithamostterrificallysnarlingpassagefromRichardtheThird，andseemedtothinkhehaddonequiteenoughtoaccountforitwhenheadded，-`asthepoetsays。\'
AndhereImayremarkthatwhenMrWopslereferredtome，heconsidereditanecessarypartofsuchreferencetorumplemyhairandpokeitintomyeyes。Icannotconceivewhyeverybodyofhisstandingwhovisitedatourhouseshouldalwayshaveputmethroughthesameinflammatoryprocessundersimilarcircumstances。YetIdonotcalltomindthatIwaseverinmyearlieryouththesubjectofremarkinoursocialfamilycircle，butsomelarge-handedpersontooksomesuchophthalmicstepstopatronizeme。
Allthiswhile，thestrangemanlookedatnobodybutme，andlookedatmeasifheweredeterminedtohaveashotatmeatlast，andbringmedown。ButhesaidnothingafterofferinghisBlueBlazesobservation，untiltheglassesofrum-and-waterwerebrought；andthenhemadehisshot，andamostextraordinaryshotitwas。
Itwasnotaverbalremark，butaproceedingindumpshow，andwaspointedlyaddressedtome。Hestirredhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme，andhetastedhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme。Andhestirreditandhetastedit:
notwithaspoonthatwasbroughttohim，butwithafile。
HedidthissothatnobodybutIsawthefile；andwhenhehaddoneithewipedthefileandputitinabreast-pocket。IknewittobeJoe\'sfile，andIknewthatheknewmyconvict，themomentIsawtheinstrument。
Isatgazingathim，spell-bound。Buthenowreclinedonhissettle，takingverylittlenoticeofme，andtalkingprincipallyaboutturnips。
Therewasadelicioussenseofcleaning-upandmakingaquietpausebeforegoingoninlifeafresh，inourvillageonSaturdaynights，whichstimulatedJoetodaretostayouthalfanhourlongeronSaturdaysthanatothertimes。Thehalfhourandtherum-and-waterrunningouttogether，Joegotuptogo，andtookmebythehand。
`Stophalfamoment，MrGargery，\'saidthestrangeman。`IthinkI\'vegotabrightnewshillingsomewhereinmypocket，andifIhave，theboyshallhaveit。\'
Helookeditoutfromahandfulofsmallchange，foldeditinsomecrumpledpaper，andgaveittome。`Yours！\'saidhe。`Mind！Yourown。\'
Ithankedhim，staringathimfarbeyondtheboundsofgoodmanners，andholdingtighttoJoe。HegaveJoegood-night，andhegaveMrWopslegood-nightwhowentoutwithus，andhegavemeonlyalookwithhisaimingeye-no，notalook，forheshutitup，butwondersmaybedonewithaneyebyhidingit。
Onthewayhome，ifIhadbeeninahumourfortalking，thetalkmusthavebeenallonmyside，forMrWopslepartedfromusatthedooroftheJollyBargemen，andJoewentallthewayhomewithhismouthwideopen，torinsetherumoutwithasmuchairaspossible。ButIwasinamannerstupefiedbythisturningupofmyoldmisdeedandoldacquaintance，andcouldthinkofnothingelse。
Mysisterwasnotinaverybadtemperwhenwepresentedourselvesinthekitchen，andJoewasencouragedbythatunusualcircumstancetotellheraboutthebrightshilling。`Abadun，I\'llbebound，\'saidMrsJoetriumphantly，`orhewouldn\'thavegivenittotheboy！Let\'slookatit。\'
Itookitoutofthepaper，anditprovedtobeagoodone。`Butwhat\'sthis？\'saidMrsJoe，throwingdowntheshillingandcatchingupthepaper。
`TwoOne-Poundnotes？\'
Nothinglessthantwofatswelteringone-poundnotesthatseemedtohavebeenontermsofthewarmestintimacywithallthecattlemarketsinthecounty。Joecaughtuphishatagain，andranwiththemtotheJollyBargementorestorethemtotheirowner。Whilehewasgone，Isatdownonmyusualstoolandlookedvacantlyatmysister，feelingprettysurethatthemanwouldnotbethere。
Presently，Joecameback，sayingthatthemanwasgone，butthathe，Joe，hadleftwordattheThreeJollyBargemenconcerningthenotes。Thenmysistersealedthemupinapieceofpaper，andputthemundersomedriedrose-leavesinanornamentaltea-potonthetopofapressinthestateparlour。Theretheyremained，anightmaretome，manyandmanyanightandday。
IhadsadlybrokensleepwhenIgottobed，throughthinkingofthestrangemantakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun，andoftheguiltilycoarseandcommonthingitwas，tobeonsecrettermsofconspiracywithconvicts-afeatureinmylowcareerthatIhadpreviouslyforgotten。
Iwashauntedbythefiletoo。AdreadpossessedmethatwhenIleastexpectedit，thefilewouldreappear。IcoaxedmyselftosleepbythinkingofMissHavisham\'s，nextWednesday；andinmysleepIsawthefilecomingatmeoutofadoor，withoutseeingwhoheldit，andIscreamedmyselfawake。
Chapter11
ATtheappointedtimeIreturnedtoMissHavisham\'s，andmyhesitatingringatthegatebroughtoutEstella。Shelockeditafteradmittingme，asshehaddonebefore，andagainprecededmeintothedarkpassagewherehercandlestood。Shetooknonoticeofmeuntilshehadthecandleinherhand，whenshelookedoverhershoulder，superciliouslysaying，`Youaretocomethiswaytoday，\'andtookmetoquiteanotherpartofthehouse。
Thepassagewasalongone，andseemedtopervadethewholesquarebasementoftheManorHouse。Wetraversedbutonesideofthesquare，however，andattheendofitshestopped，andputhercandledownandopenedadoor。
Here，thedaylightreappeared，andIfoundmyselfinasmallpavedcourt-yard，theoppositesideofwhichwasformedbyadetacheddwelling-house，thatlookedasifithadoncebelongedtothemanagerorheadclerkoftheextinctbrewery。Therewasaclockintheouterwallofthishouse。LiketheclockinMissHavisham\'sroom，andlikeMissHavisham\'swatch，ithadstoppedattwentyminutestonine。
Wewentinatthedoor，whichstoodopen，andintoagloomyroomwithalowceiling，onthegroundfloorattheback。Therewassomecompanyintheroom，andEstellasaidtomeasshejoinedit，`Youaretogoandstandthere，boy，tillyouarewanted。\'`There\'，beingthewindow，Icrossedtoit，andstood`there，\'inaveryuncomfortablestateofmind，lookingout。
Itopenedtotheground，andlookedintoamostmiserablecorneroftheneglectedgarden，uponarankruinofcabbage-stalks，andoneboxtreethathadbeenclippedroundlongago，likeapudding，andhadanewgrowthatthetopofit，outofshapeandofadifferentcolour，asifthatpartofthepuddinghadstucktothesaucepanandgotburnt。Thiswasmyhomelythought，asIcontemplatedthebox-tree。Therehadbeensomelightsnow，overnight，anditlaynowhereelsetomyknowledge；but，ithadnotquitemeltedfromthecoldshadowofthisbitofgarden，andthewindcaughtitupinlittleeddiesandthrewitatthewindow，asifitpeltedmeforcomingthere。
Idivinedthatmycominghadstoppedconversationintheroom，andthatitsotheroccupantswerelookingatme。Icouldseenothingoftheroomexcepttheshiningofthefireinthewindowglass，butIstiffenedinallmyjointswiththeconsciousnessthatIwasundercloseinspection。
Therewerethreeladiesintheroomandonegentleman。BeforeIhadbeenstandingatthewindowfiveminutes，theysomehowconveyedtomethattheywerealltoadiesandhumbugs，butthateachofthempretendednottoknowthattheothersweretoadiesandhumbugs:becausetheadmissionthatheorshedidknowit，wouldhavemadehimorherouttobeatoadyandhumbug。
Theyallhadalistlessanddrearyairofwaitingsomebody\'spleasure，andthemosttalkativeoftheladieshadtospeakquiterigidlytorepressayawn。Thislady，whosenamewasCamilla，verymuchremindedmeofmysister，withthedifferencethatshewasolder，andasIfoundwhenI
caughtsightofherofabluntercastoffeatures。Indeed，whenIknewherbetterIbegantothinkitwasaMercyshehadanyfeaturesatall，soveryblankandhighwasthedeadwallofherface。
`Poordearsoul！\'saidthislady，withanabruptnessofmannerquitemysister\'s。`Nobody\'senemybuthisown！\'
`Itwouldbemuchmorecommendabletobesomebodyelse\'senemy，\'saidthegentleman；`farmorenatural。\'
`CousinRaymond，\'observedanotherlady，`wearetoloveourneighbour。\'
`SarahPocket，\'returnedCousinRaymond，`ifamanisnothisownneighbour，whois？\'
MissPocketlaughed，andCamillalaughedandsaidcheckingayawn，`Theidea！\'ButIthoughttheyseemedtothinkitratheragoodideatoo。
Theotherlady，whohadnotspokenyet，saidgravelyandemphatically，`Verytrue！\'
`Poorsoul！\'CamillapresentlywentonIknewtheyhadallbeenlookingatmeinthemeantime，`heissoverystrange！WouldanyonebelievethatwhenTom\'swifedied，heactuallycouldnotbeinducedtoseetheimportanceofthechildren\'shavingthedeepestoftrimmingstotheirmourning？\"GoodLord！\"sayshe，\"Camilla，whatcanitsignifysolongasthepoorbereavedlittlethingsareinblack？\"SolikeMatthew！Theidea！\'
`Goodpointsinhim，goodpointsinhim，\'saidCousinRaymond；`HeavenforbidIshoulddenygoodpointsinhim；butheneverhad，andheneverwillhave，anysenseoftheproprieties。\'
`YouknowIwasobliged，\'saidCamilla，`Iwasobligedtobefirm。I
said，\"ItWILLNOTDO，forthecreditofthefamily。\"Itoldhimthat，withoutdeeptrimmings，thefamilywasdisgraced。Icriedaboutitfrombreakfasttilldinner。Iinjuredmydigestion。Andatlastheflungoutinhisviolentway，andsaid，withaD，\"Thendoasyoulike。\"ThankGoodnessitwillalwaysbeaconsolationtometoknowthatIinstantlywentoutinapouringrainandboughtthethings。\'
`Hepaidforthem，didhenot？\'askedEstella。
`It\'snotthequestion，mydearchild，whopaidforthem，\'returnedCamilla。`Iboughtthem。AndIshalloftenthinkofthatwithpeace，whenIwakeupinthenight。\'
Theringingofadistantbell，combinedwiththeechoingofsomecryorcallalongthepassagebywhichIhadcome，interruptedtheconversationandcausedEstellatosaytome，`Now，boy！\'Onmyturninground，theyalllookedatmewiththeutmostcontempt，and，asIwentout，IheardSarahPocketsay，`WellIamsure！Whatnext！\'andCamillaadd，withindignation，`Wasthereeversuchafancy！Thei-de-a！\'
Asweweregoingwithourcandlealongthedarkpassage，Estellastoppedallofasudden，and，facinground，saidinhertauntingmannerwithherfacequiteclosetomine:
`Well？\'
`Well，miss？\'Ianswered，almostfallingoverherandcheckingmyself。
Shestoodlookingatme，and，ofcourse，Istoodlookingather。
`AmIpretty？\'
`Yes；Ithinkyouareverypretty。\'
`AmIinsulting？\'
`Notsomuchsoasyouwerelasttime，\'saidI。
`Notsomuchso？\'
`No。\'
Shefiredwhensheaskedthelastquestion，andsheslappedmyfacewithsuchforceasshehad，whenIansweredit。
`Now？\'saidshe。`Youlittlecoarsemonster，whatdoyouthinkofmenow？\'
`Ishallnottellyou。\'
`Becauseyouaregoingtotell，up-stairs。Itthatit？\'
`No，\'saidI，`that\'snotit。\'
`Whydon\'tyoucryagain，youlittlewretch？\'
`BecauseI\'llnevercryforyouagain，\'saidI。Whichwas，Isuppose，asfalseadeclarationaseverwasmade；forIwasinwardlycryingforherthen，andIknowwhatIknowofthepainshecostmeafterwards。
Wewentonourwayup-stairsafterthisepisode；and，asweweregoingup，wemetagentlemangropinghiswaydown。
`Whomhavewehere？\'askedthegentleman，stoppingandlookingatme。
`Aboy，\'saidEstella。
Hewasaburlymanofanexceedinglydarkcomplexion，withanexceedinglylargeheadandacorrespondinglargehand。Hetookmychininhislargehandandturnedupmyfacetohavealookatmebythelightofthecandle。
Hewasprematurelybaldonthetopofhishead，andhadbushyblackeyebrowsthatwouldn\'tliedownbutstoodupbristling。Hiseyesweresetverydeepinhishead，andweredisagreeablysharpandsuspicious。Hehadalargewatchchain，andstrongblackdotswherehisbeardandwhiskerswouldhavebeenifhehadletthem。Hewasnothingtome，andIcouldhavehadnoforesightthen，thatheeverwouldbeanythingtome，butithappenedthatIhadthisopportunityofobservinghimwell。
`Boyoftheneighbourhood？Hey？\'saidhe。
`Yes，sir，\'saidI。
`Howdoyoucomehere？\'
`MissHavishamsentforme，sir，\'Iexplained。
`Well！Behaveyourself。Ihaveaprettylargeexperienceofboys，andyou\'reabadsetoffellows。Nowmind！\'saidhe，bitingthesideofhisgreatforefingerashefrownedatme，`youbehaveyourself！\'
Withthosewords，hereleasedme-whichIwasgladof，forhishandsmeltofscentedsoap-andwenthiswaydown-stairs。Iwonderedwhetherhecouldbeadoctor；butno，Ithought；hecouldn\'tbeadoctor，orhewouldhaveaquieterandmorepersuasivemanner。Therewasnotmuchtimetoconsiderthesubject，forweweresooninMissHavisham\'sroom，wheresheandeverythingelsewerejustasIhadleftthem。Estellaleftmestandingnearthedoor，andIstoodthereuntilMissHavishamcasthereyesuponmefromthedressing-table。
`So！\'shesaid，withoutbeingstartledorsurprised；`thedayshavewornaway，havethey？\'
`Yes，ma\'am。To-dayis——\'
`There，there，there！\'withtheimpatientmovementofherfingers。`I
don\'twanttoknow。Areyoureadytoplay？\'
Iwasobligedtoanswerinsomeconfusion，`Idon\'tthinkIam，ma\'am。\'
`Notatcardsagain？\'shedemanded，withasearchinglook。
`Yes，ma\'am；Icoulddothat，ifIwaswanted。\'
`Sincethishousestrikesyouoldandgrave，boy，\'saidMissHavisham，impatiently，`andyouareunwillingtoplay，areyouwillingtowork？\'
IcouldanswerthisinquirywithabetterheartthanIhadbeenabletofindfortheotherquestion，andIsaidIwasquitewilling。
`Thengointothatoppositeroom，\'saidshe，pointingatthedoorbehindmewithherwitheredhand，`andwaittheretillIcome。\'
Icrossedthestaircaselanding，andenteredtheroomsheindicated。
Fromthatroom，too，thedaylightwascompletelyexcluded，andithadanairlesssmellthatwasoppressive。Afirehadbeenlatelykindledinthedampold-fashionedgrate，anditwasmoredisposedtogooutthantoburnup，andthereluctantsmokewhichhungintheroomseemedcolderthantheclearerair-likeourownmarshmist。Certainwintrybranchesofcandlesonthehighchimneypiecefaintlylightedthechamber:or，itwouldbemoreexpressivetosay，faintlytroubleditsdarkness。Itwasspacious，andIdaresayhadoncebeenhandsome，buteverydiscerniblethinginitwascoveredwithdustandmould，anddroppingtopieces。Themostprominentobjectwasalongtablewithatableclothspreadonit，asifafeasthadbeeninpreparationwhenthehouseandtheclocksallstoppedtogether。
Ané；pergneorcentrepieceofsomekindwasinthemiddleofthiscloth；itwassoheavilyoverhungwithcobwebsthatitsformwasquiteundistinguishable；and，asIlookedalongtheyellowexpanseoutofwhichIrememberitsseemingtogrow，likeablackfungus，Isawspeckled-leggedspiderswithblotchybodiesrunninghometoit，andrunningoutfromit，asifsomecircumstancesofthegreatestpublicimportancehadjusttranspiredinthespidercommunity。
Iheardthemicetoo，rattlingbehindthepanels，asifthesameoccurrencewereimportanttotheirinterests。But，theblackbeetlestooknonoticeoftheagitation，andgropedaboutthehearthinaponderouselderlyway，asiftheywereshort-sightedandhardofhearing，andnotontermswithoneanother。
ThesecrawlingthingshadfascinatedmyattentionandIwaswatchingthemfromadistance，whenMissHavishamlaidahanduponmyshoulder。
Inherotherhandshehadacrutch-headedstickonwhichsheleaned，andshelookedliketheWitchoftheplace。
`This，\'saidshe，pointingtothelongtablewithherstick，`iswhereIwillbelaidwhenIamdead。Theyshallcomeandlookatmehere。\'
Withsomevaguemisgivingthatshemightgetuponthetablethenandthereanddieatonce，thecompleterealizationoftheghastlywaxworkattheFair，Ishrankunderhertouch。
`Whatdoyouthinkthatis？\'sheaskedme，againpointingwithherstick；
`that，wherethosecobwebsare？\'
`Ican\'tguesswhatitis，ma\'am。\'
`It\'sagreatcake。Abride-cake。Mine！\'
Shelookedallroundtheroominaglaringmanner，andthensaid，leaningonmewhileherhandtwitchedmyshoulder，`Come，come，come！Walkme，walkme！\'
Imadeoutfromthis，thattheworkIhadtodo，wastowalkMissHavishamroundandroundtheroom。Accordingly，Istatedatonce，andsheleaneduponmyshoulder，andwewentawayatapacethatmighthavebeenanimitationfoundedonmyfirstimpulseunderthatroofofMrPumblechook\'schaise-cart。
Shewasnotphysicallystrong，andafteralittletimesaid，`Slower！\'
Still，wewentatanimpatientfitfulspeed，andaswewent，shetwitchedthehanduponmyshoulder，andworkedhermouth，andledmetobelievethatweweregoingfastbecauseherthoughtswentfast。Afterawhileshesaid，`CallEstella！\'soIwentoutonthelandingandroaredthatnameasIhaddoneonthepreviousoccasion。Whenherlightappeared，IreturnedtoMissHavisham，andwestartedawayagainroundandroundtheroom。
IfonlyEstellahadcometobeaspectatorofourproceedings，Ishouldhavefeltsufficientlydiscontented；but，asshebroughtwithherthethreeladiesandthegentlemanwhomIhadseenbelow，Ididn\'tknowwhattodo。
Inmypoliteness，Iwouldhavestopped；but，MissHavishamtwitchedmyshoulder，andwepostedon-withashame-facedconsciousnessonmypartthattheywouldthinkitwasallmydoing。
`DearMissHavisham，\'saidMissSarahPocket。`Howwellyoulook！\'
`Idonot，\'returnedMissHavisham。`Iamyellowskinandbone。\'
CamillabrightenedwhenMissPocketmetwiththisrebuff；andshemurmured，assheplaintivelycontemplatedMissHavisham，`Poordearsoul！\'Certainlynottobeexpectedtolookwell，poorthing。Theidea！\'
`Andhowareyou？\'saidMissHavishamtoCamilla。AswewereclosetoCamillathen，Iwouldhavestoppedasamatterofcourse，onlyMissHavishamwouldn\'tstop。Weswepton，andIfeltthatIwashighlyobnoxioustoCamilla。
`Thankyou，MissHavisham，\'shereturned，`Iamaswellascanbeexpected。\'
`Why，what\'sthematterwithyou？\'askedMissHavisham，withexceedingsharpness。
`Nothingworthmentioning，\'repliedCamilla。`Idon\'twishtomakeadisplayofmyfeelings，butIhavehabituallythoughtofyoumoreinthenightthanIamquiteequalto。\'
`Thendon\'tthinkofme，\'retortedMissHavisham。
`Veryeasilysaid！\'remarkedCamilla，amiablyrepressingasob，whileahitchcameintoherupperlip，andhertearsoverflowed。`RaymondisawitnesswhatgingerandsalvolatileIamobligedtotakeinthenight。
RaymondisawitnesswhatnervousjerkingsIhaveinmylegs。Chokingsandnervousjerkings，however，arenothingnewtomewhenIthinkwithanxietyofthoseIlove。IfIcouldbelessaffectionateandsensitive，Ishouldhaveabetterdigestionandanironsetofnerves。IamsureI
wishtocouldbeso。Butastonotthinkingofyouinthenight-Theidea！\'
Here，aburstoftears。
TheRaymondreferredto，Iunderstoodtobethegentlemanpresent，andhimIunderstoodtobeMrCamilla。Hecametotherescueatthispoint，andsaidinaconsolatoryandcomplimentaryvoice，`Camilla，mydear，itiswellknownthatyourfamilyfeelingsaregraduallyunderminingyoutotheextentofmakingoneofyourlegsshorterthantheother。\'
`Iamnotaware，\'observedthegraveladywhosevoiceIhadheardbutonce，`thattothinkofanypersonistomakeagreatclaimuponthatperson，mydear。\'
MissSarahPocket，whomInowsawtobealittledrybrowncorrugatedoldwoman，withasmallfacethatmighthavebeenmadeofwalnutshells，andalargemouthlikeacat\'swithoutthewhiskers，supportedthispositionbysaying，`No，indeed，mydear。Hem！\'
`Thinkingiseasyenough，\'saidthegravelady。
`Whatiseasier，youknow？\'assentedMissSarahPocket。
`Oh，yes，yes！\'criedCamilla，whosefermentingfeelingsappearedtorisefromherlegstoherbosom。`It\'sallverytrue！It\'saweaknesstobesoaffectionate，butIcan\'thelpit。Nodoubtmyhealthwouldbemuchbetterifitwasotherwise，stillIwouldn\'tchangemydispositionifI
could。It\'sthecauseofmuchsuffering，butit\'saconsolationtoknowIpossesit，whenIwakeupinthenight。\'Hereanotherburstoffeeling。
MissHavishamandIhadneverstoppedallthistime，butkeptgoingroundandroundtheroom:now，brushingagainsttheskirtsofthevisitors:
now，givingthemthewholelengthofthedismalchamber。
`There\'sMatthew！\'saidCamilla。`Nevermixingwithanynaturalties，nevercomingheretoseehowMissHavishamis！Ihavetakentothesofawithmystaylacecut，andhavelaintherehours，insensible，withmyheadovertheside，andmyhairalldown，andmyfeetIdon\'tknowwhere——\'
`Muchhigherthanyourhead，mylove，\'saidMrCamilla。
`Ihavegoneoffintothatstate，hoursandhours，onaccountofMatthew\'sstrangeandinexplicableconduct，andnobodyhasthankedme。\'
`ReallyImustsayIshouldthinknot！\'interposedthegravelady。
`Yousee，mydear，\'addedMissSarahPocketablandlyviciouspersonage，`thequestiontoputtoyourselfis，whodidyouexpecttothankyou，mylove？\'
`Withoutexpectinganythanks，oranythingofthesort，\'resumedCamilla，`Ihaveremainedinthatstate，hoursandhours，andRaymondisawitnessoftheextenttowhichIhavechoked，andwhatthetotalinefficacyofgingerhasbeen，andIhavebeenheardatthepianoforte-tuner\'sacrossthestreet，wherethepoormistakenchildrenhaveevensupposedittobepigeonscooingatadistance-andnowtobetold——\'HereCamillaputherhandtoherthroat，andbegantobequitechemicalastotheformationofnewcombinationsthere。
WhenthissameMatthewwasmentioned，MissHavishamstoppedmeandherself，andstoodlookingatthespeaker。ThischangehadagreatinfluenceinbringingCamilla\'schemistrytoasuddenend。
`Matthewwillcomeandseemeatlast，\'saidMissHavisham，sternly，whenIamlaidonthattable。Thatwillbehisplace-there，\'strikingthetablewithherstick，`atmyhead！Andyourswillbethere！Andyourhusband\'sthere！AndSarahPocket\'sthere！AndGeorgiana\'sthere！Nowyouallknowwheretotakeyourstationswhenyoucometofeastuponme。Andnowgo！\'
Atthementionofeachname，shehadstruckthetablewithherstickinanewplace。Shenowsaid，`Walkme，walkme！\'andwewentonagain。
`Isupposethere\'snothingtobedone，\'exclaimedCamilla，`butcomplyanddepart。It\'ssomethingtohaveseentheobjectofone\'sloveandduty，forevensoshortatime。IshallthinkofitwithamelancholysatisfactionwhenIwakeupinthenight。IwishMatthewcouldhavethatcomfort，buthesetsitatdefiance。Iamdeterminednottomakeadisplayofmyfeelings，butit\'sveryhardtobetoldonewantstofeastonone\'srelations-asifonewasaGiant-andtobetoldtogo。Thebareidea！\'
MrCamillainterposing，asMrsCamillalaidherhanduponherheavingbosom，thatladyassumedanunnaturalfortitudeofmannerwhichIsupposedtobeexpressiveofanintentiontodropandchokewhenoutofview，andkissingherhandtoMissHavisham，wasescortedforth。SarahPocketandGeorgianacontendedwhoshouldremainlast；but，Sarahwastooknowingtobeoutdone，andambledroundGeorgianawiththatartfulslipperiness，thatthelatterwasobligedtotakeprecedence。SarahPocketthenmadeherseparateeffectofdepartingwith`Blessyou，MissHavishamdear！\'
andwithasmileofforgivingpityonherwalnut-shellcountenancefortheweaknessesoftherest。
WhileEstellawasawaylightingthemdown，MissHavishamstillwalkedwithherhandonmyshoulder，butmoreandmoreslowly。Atlastshestoppedbeforethefire，andsaid，aftermutteringandlookingatitsomeseconds:
`Thisismybirthday，Pip。\'
Iwasgoingtowishhermanyhappyreturns，whensheliftedherstick。
`Idon\'tsufferittobespokenof。Idon\'tsufferthosewhowereherejustnow，oranyone，tospeakofit。Theycomehereontheday，buttheydarenotrefertoit。\'
OfcourseImadenofurtherefforttorefertoit。
`Onthisdayoftheyear，longbeforeyouwereborn，thisheapofdecay，\'
stabbingwithhercrutchedstickatthepileofcobwebsonthetablebutnottouchingit，`wasbroughthere。ItandIhavewornawaytogether。Themicehavegnawedatit，andsharperteeththanteethofmicehavegnawedatme。\'
Sheheldtheheadofherstickagainstherheartasshestoodlookingatthetable；sheinheroncewhitedress，allyellowandwithered；theoncewhiteclothallyellowandwithered；everythingaround，inastatetocrumbleunderatouch。
`Whentheruiniscomplete，\'saidshe，withaghastlylook，`andwhentheylaymedead，inmybride\'sdressonthebride\'stable-whichshallbedone，andwhichwillbethefinishedcurseuponhim-somuchthebetterifitisdoneonthisday！\'
Shestoodlookingatthetableasifshestoodlookingatherownfigurelyingthere。Iremainedquiet。Estellareturned，andshetooremainedquiet。
Itseemedtomethatwecontinuedthusforalongtime。Intheheavyairoftheroom，andtheheavydarknessthatbroodedinitsremotercorners，IevenhadanalarmingfancythatEstellaandImightpresentlybegintodecay。
Atlength，notcomingoutofherdistraughtstatebydegrees，butinaninstant，MissHavishamsaid，`Letmeseeyoutwoplaycards；whyhaveyounotbegun？\'Withthat，wereturnedtoherroom，andsatdownasbefore；
Iwasbeggared，asbefore；andagain，asbefore，MissHavishamwatchedusallthetime，directedmyattentiontoEstella\'sbeauty，andmademenoticeitthemorebytryingherjewelsonEstella\'sbreastandhair。