Chapter2
InwhichisopenedaveryblackdesignagainstSophiaIrememberawiseoldgentlemanwhousedtosay，\"Whenchildrenaredoingnothing，theyaredoingmischief。\"Iwillnotenlargethisquaintsayingtothemostbeautifulpartofthecreationingeneral；
butsofarImaybeallowed，thatwhentheeffectsoffemalejealousydonotappearopenlyintheirpropercoloursofrageandfury，wemaysuspectthatmischievouspassiontobeatworkprivately，andattemptingtoundermine，whatitdothnotattackabove-ground。
ThiswasexemplifiedintheconductofLadyBellaston，who，underallthesmileswhichsheworeinhercountenance，concealedmuchindignationagainstSophia；andassheplainlysawthatthisyoungladystoodbetweenherandthefullindulgenceofherdesires，sheresolvedtogetridofherbysomemeansother；norwasitlongbeforeaveryfavourableopportunityofaccomplishingthispresenteditselftoher。
Thereadermaybepleasedtoremember，thatwhenSophiawasthrownintothatconsternationattheplayhouse，bythewitandhumourofasetofyounggentlemenwhocallthemselvesthetown，weinformedhim，thatshehadputherselfundertheprotectionofayoungnobleman，whohadverysafelyconductedhertoherchair。
Thisnobleman，whofrequentlyvisitedLadyBellaston，hadmorethanonceseenSophiathere，sinceherarrivalintown，andhadconceivedaverygreatlikingtoher；whichliking，asbeautyneverlooksmoreamiablethanindistress，Sophiahadinthisfrightsoencreased，thathemightnow，withoutanygreatimpropriety，besaidtobeactuallyinlovewithher。
Itmayeasilybebelieved，thathewouldnotsuffersohandsomeanoccasionofimprovinghisacquaintancewiththebelovedobjectasnowoffereditselftoelapse，whenevengoodbreedingalonemighthavepromptedhimtopayheravisit。
Thenextmorningtherefore，afterthisaccident，hewaitedonSophia，withtheusualcompliments，andhopesthatshehadreceivednoharmfromherlastnight’sadventure。
Aslove，likefire，whenoncethoroughlykindled，issoonblownintoaflame，Sophiainaveryshorttimecompleatedherconquest。Timenowflewawayunperceived，andthenoblelordhadbeentwohoursincompanywiththelady，beforeitenteredintohisheadthathehadmadetoolongavisit。ThoughthiscircumstancealonewouldhavealarmedSophia，whowassomewhatmoreamistressofcomputationatpresent；shehadindeedmuchmorepregnantevidencefromtheeyesofherloverofwhatpastwithinhisbosom；nay，thoughhedidnotmakeanyopendeclarationofhispassion，yetmanyofhisexpressionswererathertoowarm，andtootender，tohavebeenimputedtocomplacence，evenintheagewhensuchcomplacencewasinfashion；theveryreverseofwhichiswellknowntobethereigningmodeatpresent。
LadyBellastonhadbeenapprizedofhislordship’svisitathisfirstarrival；andthelengthofitverywellsatisfiedher，thatthingswentasshewished，andasindeedshehadsuspectedthesecondtimeshesawthisyoungcoupletogether。Thisbusiness，sherightly，Ithink，concluded，thatsheshouldbynomeans’forwardbymixinginthecompanywhiletheyweretogether；shethereforeorderedherservants，thatwhenmylordwasgoing，theyshouldtellhimshedesiredtospeakwithhim；andemployedtheintermediatetimeinmeditatinghowbesttoaccomplishascheme，whichshemadenodoubtbuthislordshipwouldveryreadilyembracetheexecutionof。
LordFellamarforthatwasthetitleofthisyoungnoblemanwasnosoonerintroducedtoherladyship，thansheattackedhiminthefollowingstrain:\"Blessme，mylord，areyouhereyet？Ithoughtmyservantshadmadeamistake，andletyougoaway；andIwantedtoseeyouaboutanaffairofsomeimportance。\"——\"Indeed，LadyBellaston，\"saidhe，\"Idon’twonderyouareastonishedatthelengthofmyvisit；forIhavestaidabovetwohours，andIdidnotthinkI
hadstaidabovehalf-a-one。\"——\"WhatamItoconcludefromthence，mylord？\"saidshe。\"Thecompanymustbeveryagreeablewhichcanmaketimeslideawaysoverydeceitfully。\"——\"Uponmyhonour，\"saidhe，\"themostagreeableIeversaw。Praytellme，LadyBellaston，whoisthisblazingstarwhichyouhaveproducedamongusallofasudden？\"——
\"Whatblazingstar，mylord？\"saidshe，affectingasurprize。\"I
mean，\"saidhe，\"theladyIsawheretheotherday，whomIhadlastnightinmyarmsattheplayhouse，andtowhomIhavebeenmakingthatunreasonablevisit。\"——\"O，mycousinWestern！\"saidshe；\"why，thatblazingstar，mylord，isthedaughterofacountryboobysquire，andhathbeenintownaboutafortnight，forthefirsttime。\"——\"Uponmysoul，\"saidhe，\"Ishouldswearshehadbeenbredupinacourt；
forbesidesherbeauty，Ineversawanythingsogenteel，sosensible，sopolite。\"——\"Obrave！\"criesthelady，\"mycousinhathyou，I
find。\"——\"Uponmyhonour，\"answeredhe，\"Iwishshehad；forIaminlovewithhertodistraction。\"——\"Nay，mylord，\"saidshe，\"itisnotwishingyourselfveryillneither，forsheisaverygreatfortune:
Iassureyousheisanonlychild，andherfather’sestateisagoodL3000a-year。\"\"ThenIcanassureyou，madam，\"answeredthelord，\"I
thinkherthebestmatchinEngland。\"\"Indeed，mylord，\"repliedshe，\"ifyoulikeher，Iheartilywishyouhadher。\"\"Ifyouthinksokindlyofme，madam，\"saidhe，\"assheisarelationofyours，willyoudomethehonourtoproposeittoherfather？\"\"Andareyoureallytheninearnest？\"criesthelady，withanaffectedgravity。\"Ihope，madam，\"answeredhe，\"youhaveabetteropinionofme，thantoimagineIwouldjestwithyourladyshipinanaffairofthiskind。\"\"Indeed，then，\"saidthelady，\"Iwillmostreadilyproposeyourlordshiptoherfather；andIcan，Ibelieve，assureyouofhisjoyfulacceptanceoftheproposal；butthereisabar，whichIamalmostashamedtomention；andyetitisoneyouwillneverbeabletoconquer。Youhavearival，mylord，andarivalwho，thoughIblushtonamehim，neitheryou，noralltheworld，willeverbeabletoconquer。\"\"Uponmyword，LadyBellaston，\"crieshe，\"youhavestruckadamptomyheart，whichhathalmostdeprivedmeofbeing。\"\"Fie，mylord，\"saidshe，\"IshouldratherhopeIhadstruckfireintoyou。A
lover，andtalkofdampsinyourheart！Iratherimaginedyouwouldhaveaskedyourrival’sname，thatyoumighthaveimmediatelyenteredthelistswithhim。\"\"Ipromiseyou，madam，\"answeredhe，\"thereareveryfewthingsIwouldnotundertakeforyourcharmingcousin；butpray，whoisthishappyman？\"-\"Why，heis，\"saidshe，\"whatIamsorrytosaymosthappymenwithusare，oneofthelowestfellowsintheworld。Heisabeggar，abastard，afoundling，afellowinmeanercircumstancesthanoneofyourlordship’sfootmen。\"
\"Andisitpossible，\"criedhe，\"thatayoungcreaturewithsuchperfectionsshouldthinkofbestowingherselfsounworthily？\"\"Alas！
mylord，\"answeredshe，\"considerthecountry-thebaneofallyoungwomenisthecountry。Theretheylearnasetofromanticnotionsoflove，andIknownotwhatfolly，whichthistownandgoodcompanycanscarceeradicateinawholewinter。\"\"Indeed，madam，\"repliedmylord，\"yourcousinisoftooimmenseavaluetobethrownaway；suchruinasthismustbeprevented。\"\"Alas！\"criesshe，\"mylord，howcanitbeprevented？Thefamilyhavealreadydoneallintheirpower；butthegirlis，Ithink，intoxicated，andnothinglessthanruinwillcontenther。Andtodealmoreopenlywithyou，Iexpecteverydaytohearsheisrunawaywithhim。\"\"Whatyoutellme，LadyBellaston，\"answeredhislordship，\"affectsmemosttenderly，andonlyraisesmycompassion，insteadoflesseningmyadorationofyourcousin。Somemeansmustbefoundtopreservesoinestimableajewel。
Hathyourladyshipendeavouredtoreasonwithher？\"Heretheladyaffectedalaugh，andcried，\"Mydearlord，sureyouknowusbetterthantotalkofreasoningayoungwomanoutofherinclinations？Theseinestimablejewelsareasdeafasthejewelstheywear:time，mylord，timeistheonlymedicinetocuretheirfolly；butthisisamedicinewhichIamcertainshewillnottake；nay，Iliveinhourlyhorrorsonheraccount。Inshort，nothingbutviolentmethodswilldo。\"\"Whatistobedone？\"criesmylord；\"whatmethodsaretobetaken？-Isthereanymethoduponearth？-Oh！LadyBellaston！thereisnothingwhichIwouldnotundertakeforsuchareward。\"——\"Ireallyknownot，\"answeredthelady，afterapause；andthenpausingagain，shecriedout-\"Uponmysoul，Iamatmywit’sendonthisgirl’saccount-Ifshecanbepreserved，somethingmustbedoneimmediately；and，asIsay，nothingbutviolentmethodswilldo-Ifyourlordshiphathreallythisattachmenttomycousinandtodoherjustice，exceptinthissillyinclination，ofwhichshewillsoonseeherfolly，sheiseverywaydeserving，Ithinktheremaybeoneway，indeeditisaverydisagreeableone，andwhatIamalmostafraidtothinkof-Itrequiresagreatspirit，Ipromiseyou。\"\"I
amnotconscious，madam，\"saidhe，\"ofanydefectthere；noramI，I
hope，suspectedofanysuch。Itmustbeanegregiousdefectindeed，whichcouldmakemebackwardonthisoccasion。\"\"Nay，mylord，\"
answeredshe，\"Iamsofarfromdoubtingyou，Iammuchmoreinclinedtodoubtmyowncourage；forImustrunamonstrousrisque。
Inshort，Imustplacesuchaconfidenceinyourhonourasawisewomanwillscarceeverplaceinamanonanyconsideration。\"Inthispointlikewisemylordverywellsatisfiedher；forhisreputationwasextremelyclear，andcommonfamedidhimnomorethanjustice，inspeakingwellofhim。\"Well，then，\"saidshe，\"mylord，-I-Ivow，I
can’tbeartheapprehensionofit-No，itmustnotbe——Atleasteveryothermethodshallbetried。Canyougetridofyourengagements，anddinehereto-day？YourlordshipwillhaveanopportunityofseeingalittlemoreofMissWestern-Ipromiseyouwehavenotimetolose。HerewillbenobodybutLadyBetty，andMissEagle，andColonelHampsted，andTomEdwards；theywillallgosoon-andIshallbeathometonobody。Thenyourlordshipmaybealittlemoreexplicit。Nay，Iwillcontrivesomemethodtoconvinceyouofherattachmenttothisfellow。\"Mylordmadepropercompliments，acceptedtheinvitation，andthentheypartedtodress，itbeingnowpastthreeininthemorning，ortoreckonbytheoldstyle，intheafternoon。
Chapter3
AfurtherexplanationoftheforegoingdesignThoughthereadermayhavelongsinceconcludedLadyBellastontobeamemberandnoinconsiderableoneofthegreatworld；shewasinrealityaveryconsiderablememberofthelittleworld；bywhichappellationwasdistinguishedaveryworthyandhonourablesocietywhichnotlongsinceflourishedinthiskingdom。
Amongothergoodprinciplesuponwhichthissocietywasfounded，therewasoneveryremarkable；for，asitwasaruleofanhonourableclubofheroes，whoassembledatthecloseofthelatewar，thatallthemembersshouldeverydayfightonceatleast；so’twasinthis，thateverymembershould，withinthetwenty-fourhours，tellatleastonemerryfib，whichwastobepropagatedbyallthebrethrenandsisterhood。
Manyidlestoriesweretoldaboutthissociety，whichfromacertainqualitymaybe，perhapsnotunjustly，supposedtohavecomefromthesocietythemselves。As，thatthedevilwasthepresident；andthathesatinpersoninanelbow-chairattheupperendofthetable；but，uponverystrictinquiry，Ifindthereisnottheleasttruthinanyofthosetales，andthattheassemblyconsistedinrealityofasetofverygoodsortofpeople，andthefibswhichtheypropagatedwereofaharmlesskind，andtendedonlytoproducemirthandgoodhumour。
Edwardswaslikewiseamemberofthiscomicalsociety。TohimthereforeLadyBellastonappliedasaproperinstrumentforherpurpose，andfurnishedhimwithafib，whichhewastoventwhenevertheladygavehimhercue；andthiswasnottobetilltheevening，whenallthecompanybutLordFellamarandhimselfweregone，andwhiletheywereengagedinarubbersatwhist。
Tothistimethen，whichwasbetweensevenandeightintheevening，wewillconveyourreader；whenLadyBellaston，LordFellamar，MissWestern，andTom，beingengagedatwhist，andinthelastgameoftheirrubbers，TomreceivedhiscuefromLadyBellaston，whichwas，\"I
protest，Tom，youaregrownintolerablelately；youusedtotellusallthenewsofthetown，andnowyouknownomoreoftheworldthanifyoulivedoutofit。\"
Mr。Edwardsthenbeganasfollows:\"Thefaultisnotmine，madam:itliesinthedulnessoftheage，thatdothnothingworthtalkingof——Ola！thoughnowIthinkon’t，therehathaterribleaccidentbefallenpoorColonelWilcox——PoorNed——Youknowhim，mylord，everybodyknowshim；faith！Iamverymuchconcernedforhim。\"
\"Whatisit，pray？\"saysLadyBellaston。
\"Why，hehathkilledamanthismorninginaduel，that’sall。\"
Hislordship，whowasnotinthesecret，askedgravely，whomhehadkilled？TowhichEdwardsanswered，\"Ayoungfellowwenoneofusknow；aSomersetshireladjustcametotown，oneJoneshisnameis；
anearrelationofoneMr。Allworthy，ofwhomyourlordshipI
believehathheard。Isawtheladliedeadinacoffee-house-Uponmysoul，heisoneofthefinestcorpsesIeversawinmylife！\"
Sophia，whohadjustbegantodealasTomhadmentionedthatamanwaskilled，stoptherhand，andlistenedwithattentionforallstoriesofthatkindaffectedher，butnosoonerhadhearrivedatthelatterpartofthestorythanshebegantodealagain；andhavingdealtthreecardstoone，andseventoanother，andtentoathird，atlastdropttherestfromherhand，andfellbackinherchair。
Thecompanybehavedasusuallyontheseoccasions。Theusualdisturbanceensued，theusualassistancewassummoned，andSophiaatlast，asitisusual，returnedagaintolife，andwassoonafter，atherearnestdesire，ledtoherownapartment；where，atmylord’srequest，LadyBellastonacquaintedherwiththetruth，attemptedtocarryitoffasajestofherown，andcomfortedherwithrepeatedassurances，thatneitherhislordshipnorTom，thoughshehadtaughthimthestory，wereinthetruesecretoftheaffair。
TherewasnofartherevidencenecessarytoconvinceLordFellamarhowjustlythecasehadbeenrepresentedtohimbyLadyBellaston；andnow，atherreturnintotheroom，aschemewaslaidbetweenthesetwonoblepersons，which，thoughitappearedinnoveryheinouslighttohislordshipashefaithfullypromised，andfaithfullyresolvedtoo，tomaketheladyallthesubsequentamendsinhispowerbymarriage，yetmanyofourreaders，wedoubtnot，willseewithjustdetestation。
Thenexteveningatsevenwasappointedforthefatalpurpose，whenLadyBellastonundertookthatSophiashouldbealone，andhislordshipshouldbeintroducedtoher。Thewholefamilyweretoberegulatedforthepurpose，mostoftheservantsdispatchedoutofthehouse；andforMrs。Honour，who，topreventsuspicion，wastobeleftwithhermistresstillhislordship’sarrival，LadyBellastonherselfwastoengageherinanapartmentasdistantaspossiblefromthesceneoftheintendedmischief，andoutofthehearingofSophia。
Mattersbeingthusagreedon，hislordshiptookhisleave，andherladyshipretiredtorest，highlypleasedwithaproject，ofwhichshehadnoreasontodoubtthesuccess，andwhichpromisedsoeffectuallytoremoveSophiafrombeinganyfurtherobstructiontoheramourwithJones，byameansofwhichsheshouldneverappeartobeguilty，evenifthefactappearedtotheworld；butthisshemadenodoubtofpreventingbyhuddlingupamarriage，towhichshethoughttheravishedSophiawouldeasilybebroughttoconsent，andatwhichalltherestofherfamilywouldrejoice。
Butaffairswerenotinsoquietasituationinthebosomoftheotherconspirator；hismindwastostinallthedistractinganxietysonoblydescribedbyShakespear-
Betweentheactingofadreadfulthing，Andthefirstmotion，alltheinterimisLikeaphantasma，orahideousdream；
ThegeniusandthemortalinstrumentsArethenincouncil；andthestateofman，Liketoalittlekingdom，suffersthenThenatureofaninsurrection——
Thoughtheviolenceofhispassionhadmadehimeagerlyembracethefirsthintofthisdesign，especiallyasitcamefromarelationofthelady，yetwhenthatfriendtoreflection，apillow，hadplacedtheactionitselfinallitsnaturalblackcoloursbeforehiseyes，withalltheconsequenceswhichmust，andthosewhichmightprobablyattendit，hisresolutionbegantoabate，orratherindeedtogoovertotheotherside；andafteralongconflict，whichlastedawholenight，betweenhonourandappetite，theformeratlengthprevailed，andhedeterminedtowaitonLadyBellaston，andtorelinquishthedesign。
LadyBellastonwasinbed，thoughverylateinthemorning，andSophiasittingbyherbedside，whentheservantacquaintedherthatLordFellamarwasbelowintheparlour；uponwhichherladyshipdesiredhimtostay，andthatshewouldseehimpresently；buttheservantwasnosoonerdepartedthanpoorSophiabegantointreathercousinnottoencouragethevisitsofthatodiouslordsoshecalledhim，thoughalittleunjustlyuponheraccount。\"Iseehisdesign，\"saidshe；\"forhemadedownrightlovetomeyesterdaymorning；butasIamresolvednevertoadmitit，Ibegyourladyshipnottoleaveusalonetogetheranymore，andtoordertheservantsthat，ifheinquiresforme，Imaybealwaysdeniedtohim。\"
\"La！child，\"saysLadyBellaston，\"youcountrygirlshavenothingbutsweetheartsinyourhead；youfancyeverymanwhoisciviltoyouismakinglove。Heisoneofthemostgallantyoungfellowsabouttown，andIamconvincedmeansnomorethanalittlegallantry。Makelovetoyouindeed！Iwishwithallmyhearthewould，andyoumustbeanarrantmadwomantorefusehim。\"
\"ButIshallcertainlybethatmadwoman，\"criesSophia，\"Ihopehisvisitsshallnotbeintrudeduponme。\"
\"Ochild！\"saidLadyBellaston，\"youneednotbesofearful；ifyouresolvetorunawaywiththatJones，Iknownopersonwhocanhinderyou。\"
\"Uponmyhonour，madam，\"criesSophia，\"yourladyshipinjuresme。
Iwillneverrunawaywithanyman；norwillIevermarrycontrarytomyfather’sinclinations。\"
\"Well，MissWestern，\"saidthelady，\"ifyouarenotinahumourtoseecompanythismorning，youmayretiretoyourownapartment；forIamnotfrightenedathislordship，andmustsendforhimupintomydressing-room。\"
Sophiathankedherladyship，andwithdrew；andpresentlyafterwardsFellamarwasadmittedupstairs。
Chapter4
BywhichitwillappearhowdangerousanadvocatealadyiswhensheapplieshereloquencetoanillpurposeWhenLadyBellastonheardtheyounglord’sscruples，shetreatedthemwiththesamedisdainwithwhichoneofthosesagesofthelaw，calledNewgatesolicitors，treatsthequalmsofconscienceinayoungwitness。\"Mydearlord，\"saidshe，\"youcertainlywantacordial。ImustsendtoLadyEdgelyforoneofherbestdrams。Fieuponit！havemoreresolution。Areyoufrightenedbythewordrape？Orareyouapprehensive——？Well！ifthestoryofHelenwasmodern，I
shouldthinkitunnatural。ImeanthebehaviourofParis，notthefondnessofthelady；forallwomenloveamanofspirit。ThereisanotherstoryoftheSabineladies-andthattoo，Ithankheaven，isveryantient。Yourlordship，perhaps，willadmiremyreading；butI
thinkMr。Hooktellsus，theymadetolerablegoodwivesafterwards。
Ifancyfewofmymarriedacquaintancewereravishedbytheirhusbands。\"\"Nay，dearLadyBellaston，\"criedhe，\"don’tridiculemeinthismanner。\"\"Why，mygoodlord，\"answeredshe，\"doyouthinkwomaninEnglandwouldnotlaughatyouinherheart，whateverpruderyshemightwearinhercountenance？——Youforcemetouseastrangekindoflanguage，andtobetraymysexmostabominably；butIamcontentedwithknowingmyintentionsaregood，andthatIamendeavouringtoservemycousin；forIthinkyouwillmakeherahusbandnotwithstandingthis；or，uponmysoul，Iwouldnotevenpersuadehertoflingherselfawayuponanemptytitle。Sheshouldnotupbraidmehereafterwithhavinglostamanofspirit；forthathisenemiesallowthispooryoungfellowtobe。\"
Letthosewhohavehadthesatisfactionofhearingreflectionsofthiskindfromawifeoramistress，declarewhethertheyareatallsweetenedbycomingfromafemaletongue。Certainitis，theysunkdeeperintohislordshipthananythingwhichDemosthenesorCicerocouldhavesaidontheoccasion。
LadyBellaston，perceivingshehadfiredtheyounglord’spride，begannow，likeatrueorator，torouseotherpassionstoitsassistance。\"MyLord，\"saysshe，inagravervoice，\"youwillbepleasedtoremember，youmentionedthismattertomefirst；forI
wouldnotappeartoyouinthelightofonewhoisendeavouringtoputoffmycousinuponyou。Fourscorethousandpoundsdonotstandinneedofanadvocatetorecommendthem。\"\"NordothMissWestern，\"saidhe，\"requireanyrecommendationfromherfortune；for，inmyopinion，nowomaneverhadhalfhercharms。\"\"Yes，yes，mylord，\"repliedthelady，lookingintheglass，therehavebeenwomenwithmorethanhalfhercharms，Iassureyou；notthatIneedlessenheronthataccount:sheisamostdeliciousgirl，that’scertain；andwithinthesefewhoursshewillbeinthearmsofone，whosurelydothnotdeserveher，thoughIwillgivehimhisdue，Ibelieveheistrulyamanofspirit。\"
\"Ihopeso，madam，\"saidmylord；\"thoughImustownhedothnotdeserveher；for，unlessheavenoryourladyshipdisappointme，sheshallwithinthattimebeinmine。\"
\"Wellspoken，mylord，\"answeredthelady；\"Ipromiseyounodisappointmentshallhappenfrommyside；andwithinthisweekIamconvincedIshallcallyourlordshipmycousininpublic。\"
Theremainderofthissceneconsistedentirelyofraptures，excuses，andcompliments，verypleasanttohaveheardfromtheparties；butratherdullwhenrelatedatsecondhand。Here，therefore，shallputanendtothisdialogue，andhastentothefatalhourwheneverythingwaspreparedforthedestructionofpoorSophia。
Butthisbeingthemosttragicalmatterinourwholehistory，weshalltreatitinachapterbyitself。
Chapter5
Containingsomematterswhichmayaffect，andotherswhichmaysurprize，thereaderTheclockhadnowstruckseven，andpoorSophia，aloneandmelancholy，satreadingatragedy。ItwastheFatalMarriage；andshewasnowcometothatpartwherethepoordistrestIsabelladisposesofherwedding-ring。
Herethebookdroptfromherhand，andashoweroftearsrandownintoherbosom。Inthissituationshehadcontinuedaminute，whenthedooropened，andincameLordFellamar。Sophiastartedfromherchairathisentrance；andhislordshipadvancingforwards，andmakingalowbow，said，\"Iamafraid，MissWestern，Ibreakinuponyouabruptly。\"\"Indeed，mylord，\"saysshe，\"Imustownmyselfalittlesurprizedatthisunexpectedvisit。\"\"Ifthisvisitbeunexpected，madam，\"answeredLordFellamar，\"myeyesmusthavebeenveryfaithlessinterpretersofmyheart，whenlastIhadthehonourofseeingyou；
forsurelyyoucouldnototherwisehavehopedtodetainmyheartinyourpossession，withoutreceivingavisitfromitsowner。\"Sophia，confusedasshewas，answeredthisbombastandveryproperlyIthink
withalookofinconceivabledisdain。Mylordthenmadeanotherandalongerspeechofthesamesort。UponwhichSophia，trembling，said，\"AmIreallytoconceiveyourlordshiptobeoutofyoursenses？
Sure，mylord，thereisnootherexcuseforsuchbehaviour。\"\"Iam，indeed，madam，inthesituationyousuppose，\"crieshislordship；\"andsureyouwillpardontheeffectsofafrenzywhichyouyourselfhaveoccasioned；forlovehathsototallydeprivedmeofreason，thatI
amscarceaccountableforanyofmyactions。\"\"Uponmyword，mylord，\"
saidSophia，\"Ineitherunderstandyourwordsnoryourbehaviour。\"
\"Suffermethen，madam，\"crieshe，\"atyourfeettoexplainboth，bylayingopenmysoultoyou，anddeclaringthatIdoatonyoutothehighestdegreeofdistraction。Omostadorable，mostdivinecreature！whatlanguagecanexpressthesentimentsofmyheart？\"\"Idoassureyou，mylord，\"saidSophia，\"Ishallnotstaytohearanymoreofthis。\"\"Donot，\"crieshe，\"thinkofleavingmethuscruelly；couldyouknowhalfthetormentswhichIfeel，thattenderbosommustpitywhatthoseeyeshavecaused。\"Thenfetchingadeepsigh，andlayingholdofherhand，heranonforsomeminutesinastrainwhichwouldbelittlemorepleasingtothereaderthanitwastothelady；andatlastconcludedwithadeclaration，\"Thatifhewasmasteroftheworld，hewouldlayitherfeet。\"Sophiathen，forciblypullingawayherhandfromhis，answeredwithmuchspirit，\"I
promiseyou，sir，yourworldanditsmasterIshouldspurnfrommewithequalcontempt。\"Shethenofferedtogo；andLordFellamar，againlayingholdofherhand，said，\"Pardonme，mybelovedangel，freedomswhichnothingbutdespaircouldhavetemptedmetotake——Believeme，couldIhavehadanyhopethatmytitleandfortune，neitheroftheminconsiderable，unlesswhencomparedwithyourworth，wouldhavebeenaccepted，Ihad，inthehumblestmanner，presentedthemtoyouracceptance-ButIcannotloseyou-Byheaven，Iwillsoonerpartwithmysoul！-Youare，youmust，youshallbeonlymine。\"\"Mylord，\"saysshe，\"Iintreatyoutodesistfromavainpursuit；for，uponmyhonour，Iwillneverhearyouonthissubject。
Letgomyhand，mylord；forIamresolvedtogofromyouthismoment；
norwillIeverseeyoumore。\"\"Then，madam，\"crieshislordship，\"I
mustmakethebestuseofthismoment；forIcannotlive，norwillI
livewithoutyou。\"——\"Whatdoyoumean，mylord？\"saidSophia；\"Iwillraisethefamily。\"\"Ihavenofear，madam，\"answeredhe，\"butoflosingyou，andthatIamresolvedtoprevent，theonlywaywhichdespairpointstome。\"-Hethencaughtherinhisarms:uponwhichshescreamedsoloud，thatshemusthavealarmedsomeonetoherassistance，hadnotLadyBellastontakencaretoremoveallears。
ButamoreluckycircumstancehappenedforpoorSophia；anothernoisenowbrokeforth，whichalmostdrownedhercries；fornowthewholehouserangwith，\"Whereisshe？D——nme，I’llunkennelherthisinstant。Showmeherchamber，Isay。Whereismydaughter？Iknowshe’sinthehouse，andI’llseeherifshe’sabove-ground。Showmewheresheis。\"-Atwhichlastwordsthedoorflewopen，andincameSquireWestern，withhisparsonandasetofmyrmidonsathisheels。
HowmiserablemusthavebeentheconditionofpoorSophia，whentheenragedvoiceofherfatherwaswelcometoherears！Welcomeindeeditwas，andluckilydidhecome；foritwastheonlyaccidentuponearthwhichcouldhavepreservedthepeaceofhermindfrombeingforeverdestroyed。
Sophia，notwithstandingherfright，presentlyknewherfather’svoice；andhislordship，notwithstandinghispassion，knewthevoiceofreason，whichperemptorilyassuredhim，itwasnotnowatimefortheperpetrationofhisvillany。Hearing，therefore，thevoiceapproach，andhearinglikewisewhoseitwasforasthesquiremorethanonceroaredforththeworddaughter，soSophia，inthemidstofherstruggling，criedoutuponherfather，hethoughtpropertorelinquishhisprey，havingonlydisorderedherhandkerchief，andwithhisrudelipscommittedviolenceonherlovelyneck。
Ifthereader’simaginationdothnotassistme，IshallneverbeabletodescribethesituationofthesetwopersonswhenWesterncameintotheroom。Sophiatotteredintoachair，whereshesatdisordered，pale，breathless，burstingwithindignationatLordFellamar；affrighted，andyetmorerejoiced，atthearrivalofherfather。
Hislordshipsatdownnearher，thebagofhiswighangingoveroneofhisshoulders，therestofhisdressbeingsomewhatdisordered，andratheragreaterproportionoflinenthanisusualappearingathisbosom。Astotherest，hewasamazed，affrighted，vexed，andashamed。
AstoSquireWestern，hehappenedatthistimetobeovertakenbyanenemy，whichveryfrequentlypursues，andseldomfailstoovertake，mostofthecountrygentlemeninthiskingdom。Hewas，literallyspeaking，drunk；whichcircumstance，togetherwithhisnaturalimpetuosity，couldproducenoothereffectthanhisrunningimmediatelyuptohisdaughter，uponwhomhefellfoulwithhistongueinthemostinveteratemanner；nay，hehadprobablycommittedviolencewithhishands，hadnottheparsoninterposed，saying，\"Forheaven’ssake，sir，animadvertthatyouareinthehouseofagreatlady。Letmebegyoutomitigateyourwrath；itshouldministerafulnessofsatisfactionthatyouhavefoundyourdaughter；forastorevenge，itbelongethnotuntous。Idiscerngreatcontritioninthecountenanceoftheyounglady。Istandassured，ifyouwillforgiveher，shewillrepentherofallpastoffences，andreturnuntoherduty。\"
Thestrengthoftheparson’sarmshadatfirstbeenofmoreservicethanthestrengthofhisrhetoric。However，hislastwordswroughtsomeeffect，andthesquireanswered，\"I’llforgeeherifshewullha’un。Ifwotha’un，Sophy，I’llforgeetheeall。Whydostuntspeak？Shatha’un！d——nme，shatha’un！Whydostuntanswer？Waseversuchastubborntuoad？\"
\"Letmeintreatyou，sir，tobealittlemoremoderate，\"saidtheparson；\"youfrightentheyoungladyso，thatyoudepriveherofallpowerofutterance。\"
\"Powerofminea——，\"answeredthesquire。\"Youtakeherpartthen，youdo？Aprettyparson，truly，tosidewithanundutifulchild！
Yes，yes，Iwillgeeyoualivingwithapox。I’llgeeuntothedevilsooner。\"
\"Ihumblycraveyourpardon，\"saidtheparson；\"IassureyourworshipImeantnosuchmatter。\"
MyLadyBellastonnowenteredtheroom，andcameuptothesquire，whonosoonersawher，than，resolvingtofollowtheinstructionsofhissister，hemadeheraverycivilbow，intheruralmanner，andpaidhersomeofhisbestcompliments。Hethenimmediatelyproceededtohiscomplaints，andsaid，\"There，myladycousin；therestandsthemostundutifulchildintheworld；shehankersafterabeggarlyrascal，andwon’tmarryoneofthegreatestmatchesinallEngland，thatwehaveprovidedforher。\"
\"Indeed，cousinWestern，\"answeredthelady，\"Iampersuadedyouwrongmycousin。Iamsureshehathabetterunderstanding。Iamconvincedshewillnotrefusewhatshemustbesensibleissomuchtoheradvantage。\"
ThiswasawilfulmistakeinLadyBellaston，forshewellknewwhomMr。Westernmeant；thoughperhapsshethoughthewouldeasilybereconciledtohislordship’sproposals。
\"Doyouhearthere，\"quoththesquire，\"whatherladyshipsay？Allyourfamilyareforthematch。Come，Sophy，beagoodgirl，andbedutiful，andmakeyourfatherhappy。\"
\"Ifmydeathwillmakeyouhappy，sir，\"answeredSophia，\"youwillshortlybeso。\"
\"It’salye，Sophy；it’sad——n’dlye，andyouknowit，\"saidthesquire。
\"Indeed，MissWestern\"’saidLadyBellaston，\"youinjureyourfather；hehathnothinginviewbutyourinterestinthismatch；andI
andallyourfriendsmustacknowledgethehighesthonourdonetoyourfamilyintheproposal。\"
\"Ay，allofus，\"quoththesquire；\"nay，itwasnoproposalofmine。
Sheknowsitwasherauntproposedittomefirst-Come，Sophy，oncemoreletmebegyoutobeagoodgirl，andgeemeyourconsentbeforeyourcousin。\"
\"Letmegivehimyourhand，cousin，\"saidthelady。\"Itisthefashionnow-a-daystodispensewithtimeandlongcourtships。\"
\"Pugh！\"saidthesquire，\"whatsignifiestime；won’ttheyhavetimeenoughtocourtafterwards？Peoplemaycourtverywellaftertheyhavebeena-bedtogether。\"
AsLordFellamarwasverywellassuredthathewasmeantbyLadyBellaston，so，neverhavingheardnorsuspectedawordofBlifil，hemadenodoubtofhisbeingmeantbythefather。Comingup，therefore，tothesquire，hesaid，\"ThoughIhavenotthehonour，sir，ofbeingpersonallyknowntoyou，yet，asIfindIhavethehappinesstohavemyproposalsaccepted，letmeintercede，sir，inbehalfoftheyounglady，thatshemaynotbemoresolicitedatthistime。\"
\"Youintercede，sir！\"saidthesquire；\"why，whothedevilareyou？\"
\"Sir，IamLordFellamar，\"answeredhe，\"andamthehappymanwhomI
hopeyouhavedonethehonourofacceptingforason-in-law。\"
\"Youareasonofab——，\"repliedthesquire，\"forallyourlacedcoat。Youmyson-in-law，andbed——n’dtoyou！\"
\"Ishalltakemorefromyou，sir，thanfromanyman，\"answeredthelord；\"butImustinformyouthatIamnotusedtohearsuchlanguagewithoutresentment。\"
\"Resentmya——，\"quoththesquire。\"Don’tthinkIamafraidofsuchafellowastheeart！becausehastgotaspittheredanglingatthyside。Laybyyourspit，andI’llgivetheeenoughofmeddlingwithwhatdothnotbelongtothee。I’llteachyoutofather-in-lawme。I’lllickthyjacket。\"
\"It’sverywell，sir，\"saidmylord，\"Ishallmakenodisturbancebeforetheladies。Iamverywellsatisfied。Yourhumbleservant，sir；
LadyBellaston，yourmostobedient。\"
Hislordshipwasnosoonergone，thanLadyBellaston，cominguptoMr。Western，said，\"Blessme，sir，whathaveyoudone？Youknownotwhomyouhaveaffronted；heisanoblemanofthefirstrankandfortune，andyesterdaymadeproposalstoyourdaughter；andsuchasIamsureyoumustacceptwiththehighestpleasure。\"
\"Answerforyourself，ladycousin，\"saidthesquire，\"Iwillhavenothingtodowithanyofyourlords。Mydaughtershallhaveanhonestcountrygentleman；Ihavepitchedupononeforher-andsheshallha’
un-Iamsorryforthetroubleshehathgivenyourladyshipwithallmyheart。\"LadyBellastonmadeacivilspeechuponthewordtrouble；
towhichthesquireanswered-\"Why，that’skind-andIwoulddoasmuchforyourladyship。Tobesurerelationsshoulddoforoneanother。SoIwishyourladyshipagoodnight-Come，madam，youmustgoalongwithmebyfairmeans，orI’llhaveyoucarrieddowntothecoach。\"
Sophiasaidshewouldattendhimwithoutforce；butbeggedtogoinachair，forshesaidsheshouldnotbeabletorideanyotherway。
\"Prithee，\"criesthesquire，\"woutuntpersuademecanstnotrideinacoach，wouldst？That’saprettythingsurely！No，no，I’llneverlettheeoutofmysightanymoretillartmarried，thatIpromisethee。\"Sophiatoldhim，shesawhewasresolvedtobreakherheart。\"O
breakthyheartandbed——n’d，\"quothhe，\"ifagoodhusbandwillbreakit。Idon’tvalueabrassvarden，notahalfpenny，ofanyundutifulb——uponearth。\"Hethentookaviolentholdofherhand；
uponwhichtheparsononcemoreinterfered，begginghimtousegentlemethods。Atthatthesquirethunderedoutacurse，andbidtheparsonholdhistongue，saying，\"At’ntinpulpitnow？whenartagotupthereInevermindwhatdostsay；butIwon’tbepriest-ridden，nortaughthowtobehavemyselfbythee。Iwishyourladyshipagoodnight。Comealong，Sophy；beagoodgirl，andallshallbewell。Shatha’un，d——nme，shatha’un！\"
Mrs。Honourappearedbelow-stairs，andwithalowcurtesytothesquireofferedtoattendhermistress；buthepushedheraway，saying，\"Hold，madam，hold，youcomenomorenearmyhouse。\"\"Andwillyoutakemymaidawayfromme？\"saidSophia。\"Yes，indeed，madam，willI，\"
criesthesquire:\"youneednotfearbeingwithoutaservant；Iwillgetyouanothermaid，andabettermaidthanthis，who，I’dlayfivepoundstoacrown，isnomoreamaidthanmygrannum。No，no，Sophy，sheshallcontrivenomoreescapes，Ipromiseyou。\"Hethenpackeduphisdaughterandtheparsonintothehackneycoach，afterwhichhemountedhimself，andorderedittodrivetohislodgings。InthewaythitherhesufferedSophiatobequiet，andentertainedhimselfwithreadingalecturetotheparsonongoodmanners，andaproperbehaviourtohisbetters。
ItispossiblehemightnotsoeasilyhavecarriedoffhisdaughterfromLadyBellaston，hadthatgoodladydesiredtohavedetainedher；but，inreality，shewasnotalittlepleasedwiththeconfinementintowhichSophiawasgoing；andasherprojectwithLordFellamarhadfailedofsuccess，shewaswellcontentedthatotherviolentmethodswerenowgoingtobeusedinfavourofanotherman。
Chapter6
BywhatmeansthesquirecametodiscoverhisdaughterThoughthereader，inmanyhistories，isobligedtodigestmuchmoreunaccountableappearancesthanthisofMr。Western，withoutanysatisfactionatall；yet，aswedearlylovetoobligehimwheneveritisinourpower，weshallnowproceedtoshowbywhatmethodthesquirediscoveredwherehisdaughterwas。
Inthethirdchapter，then，oftheprecedingbook，wegaveahintforitisnotourcustomtounfoldatanytimemorethanisnecessaryfortheoccasionthatMrs。Fitzpatrick，whowasverydesirousofreconcilingheruncleandauntWestern，thoughtshehadaprobableopportunity，bytheserviceofpreservingSophiafromcommittingthesamecrimewhichhaddrawnonherselftheangerofherfamily。Aftermuchdeliberation，therefore，sheresolvedtoinformherauntWesternwherehercousinwas，andaccordinglyshewritthefollowingletter，whichweshallgivethereaderatlength，formorereasonsthanone。
HONOUREDMADAM，Theoccasionofmywritingthiswillperhapsmakealetterofmineagreeabletomydearaunt，forthesakeofoneofhernieces，thoughI
havelittlereasontohopeitwillbesoontheaccountofanother。
Withoutmoreapology，asIwascomingtothrowmyunhappyselfatyourfeet，Imet，bythestrangestaccidentintheworld，mycousinSophy，whosehistoryyouarebetteracquaintedwiththanmyself，though，alas！Iknowinfinitelytoomuch；enoughindeedtosatisfyme，thatunlesssheisimmediatelyprevented，sheisindangerofrunningintothesamefatalmischiefwhich，byfoolishlyandignorantlyrefusingyourmostwiseandprudentadvice，Ihaveunfortunatelybroughtonmyself。
Inshort，Ihaveseentheman，nay，IwasmostPartofyesterdayinhiscompany，andacharmingyoungfellowIpromiseyouheis。Bywhataccidenthecameacquaintedwithmeistootedioustotellyounow；butIhavethismorningchangedmylodgingstoavoidhim，lestheshouldbymymeansdiscovermycousin；forhedothnotyetknowwheresheis，anditisadviseableheshouldnot，tillmyunclehathsecuredher——Notimethereforeistobelost；andIneedonlyinformyou，thatsheisnowwithLadyBellaston，whomIhaveseen，andwhohath，Ifind，adesignofconcealingherfromherfamily。Youknow，madam，sheisastrangewoman；butnothingcouldmisbecomememore，thantopresumetogiveanyhinttooneofyourgreatunderstandingandgreatknowledgeoftheworld，besidesbarelyinformingyouofthematteroffact。
Ihope，madam，thecarewhichIhaveshewnonthisoccasionforthegoodofmyfamily，willrecommendmeagaintothefavourofaladywhohathalwaysexertedsomuchzealforthehonourandtrueinterestofusall；andthatitmaybeameansofrestoringmetoyourfriendship，whichhathmadesogreatapartofmyformer，andissonecessarytomyfuturehappiness。
Iam，withtheutmostrespect，honouredmadam，yourmostdutifulobligedniece，andmostobedienthumbleservant，HARRIETFITZPATRICK
Mrs。Westernwasnowatherbrother’shouse，whereshehadresidedeversincetheflightofSophia，inordertoadministercomforttothepoorsquireinhisaffliction。Ofthiscomfort，whichshedoledouttohimindailyportions，wehaveformerlygivenaspecimen。
Shewasnowstandingwithherbacktothefire，and，withapinchofsnuffinherhand，dealingforththisdailyallowanceofcomforttothesquire，whilehesmoakedhisafternoonpipe，whenshereceivedtheaboveletter；whichshehadnosoonerreadthanshedeliveredittohim，saying，\"There，sir，thereisanaccountofyourlostsheep。
Fortunehathagainrestoredhertoyou，andifyouwillbegovernedbymyadvice，itispossibleyoumayyetpreserveher。\"
Thesquirehadnosoonerreadtheletterthanheleapedfromhischair，threwhispipeintothefire，andgavealoudhuzzaforjoy。Hethensummonedhisservants，calledforhisboots，andorderedtheChevalierandseveralotherhorsestobesaddled，andthatparsonSuppleshouldbeimmediatelysentfor。Havingdonethis，heturnedtohissister，caughtherinhisarms，andgaveheracloseembrace，saying，\"Zounds！youdon’tseempleased；onewouldimagineyouwassorryIhavefoundthegirl。\"
\"Brother，\"answeredshe，\"thedeepestpoliticians，whoseetothebottom，discoveroftenaverydifferentaspectofaffairs，fromwhatswimsonthesurface。Itistrue，indeed，thingsdolookratherlessdesperatethantheydidformerlyinHolland，whenLewistheFourteenthwasatthegatesofAmsterdam；butthereisadelicacyrequiredinthismatter，whichyouwillpardonme，brother，ifIsuspectyouwant。
Thereisadecorumtobeusedwithawomanoffigure，suchasLadyBellaston，brother，whichrequiresaknowledgeoftheworld，superior，Iamafraid，toyours。\"
\"Sister，\"criesthesquire，\"Iknowyouhavenoopinionofmyparts；
butI’llshewyouonthisoccasionwhoisafool。Knowledge，quotha！I
havenotbeeninthecountrysolongwithouthavingsomeknowledgeofwarrantsandthelawoftheland。IknowImaytakemyownwhereverIcanfindit。Shewmemyowndaughter，andifIdon’tknowhowtocomeather，I’llsufferyoutocallmeafoolaslongasIlive。
TherebejusticesofpeaceinLondon，aswellasinotherplaces。\"
\"Iprotest，\"criesshe，\"youmakemetremblefortheeventofthismatter，which，ifyouwillproceedbymyadvice，youmaybringtosogoodanissue。Doyoureallyimagine，brother，thatthehouseofawomanoffigureistobeattackedbywarrantsandbrutaljusticesofthepeace？Iwillinformyouhowtoproceed。Assoonasyouarriveintown，andhavegotyourselfintoadecentdressforindeed，brother，youhavenoneatpresentfittoappearin，youmustsendyourcomplimentstoLadyBellaston，anddesireleavetowaitonher。
Whenyouareadmittedtoherpresence，asyoucertainlywillbe，andhavetoldheryourstory，andhavemadeproperuseofmynameforI
thinkyoujustknowoneanotheronlybysight，thoughyouarerelations，Iamconfidentshewillwithdrawherprotectionfrommyniece，whohathcertainlyimposeduponher。Thisistheonlymethod-Justicesofpeace，indeed！doyouimagineanysucheventcanarrivetoawomanoffigureinacivilisednation？\"
\"D——ntheirfigures，\"criesthesquire；\"aprettycivilisednation，truly，wherewomenareabovethelaw。AndwhatmustIstandsendingaparcelofcomplimentstoaconfoundedwhore，thatkeepsawayadaughterfromherownnaturalfather？Itellyou，sister，Iamnotsoignorantasyouthinkme——Iknowyouwouldhavewomenabovethelaw，butitisallalye；Iheardhislordshipsayatsize，thatnooneisabovethelaw。ButthisofyoursisHanoverlaw，Isuppose。\"
\"Mr。Western，\"saidshe，\"Ithinkyoudailyimproveinignorance——Iprotestyouaregrownanarrantbear。\"
\"Nomoreabearthanyourself，sisterWestern，\"saidthesquire-\"Pox！youmaytalkofyourcivilityanyouwill，Iamsureyounevershowanytome。Iamnobear，no，nornodogneither，thoughIknowsomebody，thatissomethingthatbeginswithab；butpox！I
willshowyouIhavegotmoregoodmannersthansomefolks。\"
\"Mr。Western，\"answeredthelady，\"youmaysaywhatyouplease，jevousmesprisedetoutmoncoeur。*Ishallnotthereforebeangry——Besides，asmycousin，withthatodiousIrishname，justlysays，Ihavethatregardforthehonourandtrueinterestofmyfamily，andthatconcernformyniece，whoisapartofit，thatI
haveresolvedtogototownmyselfuponthisoccasion；forindeed，indeed，brotheryouarenotafitministertobeemployedatapolitecourt-Greenland-Greenlandshouldalwaysbethesceneofthetramontanenegociation。\"
*Idespiseyouwithallmyheart。
\"IthankHeaven，\"criesthesquire，\"Idon’tunderstandyounow。YouaregottoyourHanoverianlinguo。However，I’llshewyouIscorntobebehindhandincivilitywithyou；andasyouarenotangryforwhatIhavesaid，soIamnotangryforwhatyouhavesaid。Indeed，Ihavealwaysthoughtitafollyforrelationstoquarrel；andiftheydonowandthengiveahastyword，why，peopleshouldgiveandtake；
formypart，Ineverbearmalice；andItakeitverykindofyoutogouptoLondon；forIneverwastherebuttwiceinmylife，andthenI
didnotstayaboveafortnightatatime，andtobesureIcan’tbeexpectedtoknowmuchofthestreetsandthefolksinthattime。I
neverdeniedthatyouknow’dallthesemattersbetterthanI。Formetodisputethatwouldbeallasoneasforyoutodisputethemanagementofapackofdogs，orthefindingaharesitting，withme。\"-\"WhichIpromiseyou，\"saysshe，\"Ineverwill。\"-\"Well，andI
promiseyou，\"returnedhe，\"thatIneverwilldisputethet’other。\"
Herethenaleaguewasstrucktoborrowaphrasefromthelady
betweenthecontendingparties；andnowtheparsonarriving，andthehorsesbeingready，thesquiredeparted，havingpromisedhissistertofollowheradvice，andshepreparedtofollowhimthenextday。
Buthavingcommunicatedthesematterstotheparsonontheroad，theybothagreedthattheprescribedformalitiesmightverywellbedispensedwith；andthesquire，havingchangedhismind，proceededinthemannerwehavealreadyseen。
Chapter7
InwhichvariousmisfortunesbefelpoorJonesAffairswereintheaforesaidsituation，whenMrs。HonourarrivedatMrs。Miller’s，andcalledJonesoutfromthecompany，aswehavebeforeseen，withwhom，whenshefoundherselfalone，shebeganasfollows:-
\"O，mydearsir！howshallIgetspiritstotellyou；youareundone，sir，andmypoorlady’sundone，andIamundone。\"\"HathanythinghappenedtoSophia？\"criesJones，staringlikeamadman。\"Allthatisbad，\"criesHonour:\"Oh，Ishallnevergetsuchanotherlady！OhthatIshouldeverlivetoseethisday！\"AtthesewordsJonesturnedpaleasashes，trembled，andstammered；butHonourwenton-\"O！Mr。Jones，Ihavelostmyladyforever。\"\"How？what！forHeaven’ssake，tellme。O，mydearSophia！\"\"Youmaywellcallherso，\"saidHonour；\"shewasthedearestladytome。Ishallneverhavesuchanotherplace。\"——\"D——nyourplace！\"criesJones；\"whereis-what-whatisbecomeofmySophia？\"\"Ay，tobesure，\"criesshe，\"servantsmaybed——n’d。Itsignifiesnothingwhatbecomesofthem，thoughtheyareturnedaway，andruinedeversomuch。Tobesuretheyarenotfleshandbloodlikeotherpeople。No，tobesure，itsignifiesnothingwhatbecomesofthem。\"\"Ifyouhaveanypity，andcompassion，\"criesJones，\"IbegyouwillinstantlytellmewhathathhappenedtoSophia？\"\"Tobesure，Ihavemorepityforyouthanyouhaveforme，\"answeredHonour；\"Idon’td——nyoubecauseyouhavelostthesweetestladyintheworld。Tobesure，youareworthytobepitied，andIamworthytobepitiedtoo:for，tobesure，ifevertherewasagoodmistress——\"\"Whathathhappened？\"criesJones，inalmostaravingfit。\"What？-What？\"saidHonour:\"Why，theworstthatcouldhavehappenedbothforyouandforme-Herfatheriscometotown，andhathcarriediedawayfromusboth。\"HereJonesfellonhiskneesinthanksgivingthatitwasnoworse。\"Noworse！\"repeatedHonour；\"whatcouldbeworseforeitherofus？Hecarriedheroff，swearingsheshouldmarryMr。Blifil；that’sforyourcomfort；and，forpoorme，Iamturnedoutofdoors。\"\"Indeed，Mrs。Honour，\"
answeredJones，\"youfrightenedmeoutofmywits。IimaginedsomemostdreadfulsuddenaccidenthadhappenedtoSophia；something，comparedtowhich，evenseeinghermarriedtoBlifilwouldbeatrifle；butwhilethereislifetherearehopes，mydearHonour。
Women，inthislandofliberty，cannotbemarriedbyactualbrutalforce。\"\"Tobesure，sir，\"saidshe，that’strue。Theremaybesomehopesforyou；butalack-a-day！whathopesarethereforpoorme？
Andtobesure，sir，youmustbesensibleIsufferallthisuponyouraccount。Allthequarrelthesquirehathtomeisfortakingyourpart，asIhavedone，againstMr。Blifil。\"\"Indeed，Mrs。Honour，\"
answeredhe，\"Iamsensibleofmyobligationstoyou，andwillleavenothinginmypowerundonetomakeyouamends。\"\"Alas！sir，\"saidshe，\"whatcanmakeaservantamendsforthelossofoneplacebutthegettinganotheraltogetherasgood？\"\"Donotdespair，Mrs。Honour，\"
saidJones，\"Ihopetoreinstateyouagaininthesame。\"
\"Alack-a-day，sir，\"saidshe，\"howcanIflattermyselfwithsuchhopeswhenIknowitisathingimpossible？forthesquireissosetagainstme:andyet，ifyoushouldeverhavemylady，astobesureI
nowhopesheartilyyouwill；foryouareagenerous，good-naturedgentleman；andIamsureyoulovesher，andtobesureshelovesyouasdearlyasherownsoul；itisamatterinvaintodenyit；
becauseaswhy，everybody，thatisintheleastacquaintedwithmylady，mustseeit；for，poordearlady，shecan’tdissemble:andiftwopeoplewholovesoneanothera’n’thappy，whywhoshouldbeso？
Happinessdon’talwaysdependuponwhatpeoplehas；besides，myladyhasenoughforboth。Tobesure，therefore，asonemaysay，itwouldbeallthepityintheworldtokeeptwosuchloviersasunder；nay，Iamconvinced，formypart，youwillmeettogetheratlast；for，ifitistobe，thereisnopreventingit。Ifamarriageismadeinheaven，allthejusticesofpeaceuponearthcan’tbreakitoff。TobesureIwishesthatparsonSupplehadbutalittlemorespirit，totellthesquireofhiswickednessinendeavouringtoforcehisdaughtercontrarytoherliking；butthenhiswholedependanceisonthesquire；andsothepoorgentleman，thoughheisaveryreligiousgoodsortofman，andtalksofthebadnessofsuchdoingsbehindthesquire’sback，yethedaresnotsayhissoulishisowntohisface。
TobesureIneversawhimmakesoboldasjustnow；Iwasafeardthesquirewouldhavestruckhim。Iwouldnothaveyourhonourbemelancholy，sir，nordespair；thingsmaygobetter，aslongasyouaresureofmylady，andthatIamcertainyoumaybe；forsheneverwillbebroughttoconsenttomarryanyotherman。Indeed，Iamterriblyafearedthesquirewilldoheramischiefinhispassion，forheisaprodigiouspassionategentleman；andIamafearedtoothepoorladywillbebroughttobreakherheart，forsheisastender-heartedasachicken。Itispity，methinks，shehadnotalittleofmycourage。IfIwasinlovewithayoungman，andmyfatherofferedtolockmeup，I’dtearhiseyesoutbutI’dcomeathim；
butthenthere’sagreatfortuneinthecase，whichitisinherfather’spowereithertogiveherornot；that，tobesure，maymakesomedifference。\"
WhetherJonesgavestrictattentiontoalltheforegoingharangue，orwhetheritwasforwantofanyvacancyinthediscourse，Icannotdetermine；butheneveronceattemptedtoanswer，nordidsheoncestoptillPartridgecamerunningintotheroom，andinformedhimthatthegreatladywasuponthestairs。
NothingcouldequalthedilemmatowhichJoneswasnowreduced。
HonourknewnothingofanyacquaintancethatsubsistedbetweenhimandLadyBellaston，andshewasalmostthelastpersonintheworldtowhomhewouldhavecommunicatedit。Inthishurryanddistress，hetookasiscommonenoughtheworstcourse，and，insteadofexposinghertothelady，whichwouldhavebeenoflittleconsequence，hechosetoexposetheladytoher；hethereforeresolvedtohideHonour，whomhehadbutjusttimetoconveybehindthebed，andtodrawthecurtains。
ThehurryinwhichJoneshadbeenalldayengagedonaccountofhispoorlandladyandherfamily，theterrorsoccasionedbyMrs。
Honour，andtheconfusionintowhichhewasthrownbythesuddenarrivalofLadyBellaston，hadaltogetherdrivenformerthoughtsoutofhishead；sothatitneveronceoccurredtohismemorytoactthepartofasickman；which，indeed，neitherthegaietyofhisdress，northefreshnessofhiscountenance，wouldhaveatallsupported。
Hereceivedherladyship，therefore，ratheragreeablytoherdesiresthantoherexpectations，withallthegoodhumourhecouldmusterinhiscountenance，andwithoutanyrealoraffectedappearanceoftheleastdisorder。
LadyBellastonnosoonerenteredtheroom，thanshesquattedherselfdownonthebed:\"So，mydearJones，\"saidshe，\"youfindnothingcandetainmelongfromyou。PerhapsIoughttobeangrywithyou，thatIhaveneitherseennorheardfromyouallday；forIperceiveyourdistemperwouldhavesufferedyoutocomeabroad:nay，I
supposeyouhavenotsatinyourchamberalldaydrestuplikeafineladytoseecompanyafteralying-in；but，however，don’tthinkI
intendtoscoldyou；forIneverwillgiveyouanexcuseforthecoldbehaviourofahusband，byputtingontheill-humourofawife。\"
\"Nay，LadyBellaston，\"saidJones，\"Iamsureyourladyshipwillnotupbraidmewithneglectofduty，whenIonlywaitedfororders。Who，mydearcreature，hathreasontocomplain？Whomissedanappointment，lastnight，andleftanunhappymantoexpect，andwish，andsigh，andlanguish？\"
\"Donotmentionit，mydearMr。Jones，\"criedshe。\"Ifyouknewtheoccasion，youwouldpityme。Inshort，itisimpossibletoconceivewhatwomenofconditionareobligedtosufferfromtheimpertinenceoffools，inordertokeepupthefarceoftheworld。I
amglad，however，allyourlanguishingandwishinghavedoneyounoharm；foryouneverlookedbetterinyourlife。Uponmyfaith！
Jones，youmightatthisinstantsitforthepictureofAdonis。\"
Therearecertainwordsofprovocationwhichmenofhonourholdcanproperlybeansweredonlybyablow。Amongloverspossiblytheremaybesomeexpressionswhichcanbeansweredonlybyakiss。NowthecomplimentwhichLadyBellastonnowmadeJonesseemstobeofthiskind，especiallyasitwasattendedwithalook，inwhichtheladyconveyedmoresoftideasthanitwaspossibletoexpresswithhertongue。
Joneswascertainlyatthisinstantinoneofthemostdisagreeableanddistressedsituationsimaginable；for，tocarryonthecomparisonwemadeuseofbefore，thoughtheprovocationwasgivenbythelady，Jonescouldnotreceivesatisfaction，norsomuchasoffertoaskit，inthepresenceofathirdperson；secondsinthiskindofduelsnotbeingaccordingtothelawofarms。AsthisobjectiondidnotoccurtoLadyBellaston，whowasignorantofanyotherwomanbeingtherebutherself，shewaitedsometimeingreatastonishmentforananswerfromJones，who，consciousoftheridiculousfigurehemade，stoodatadistance，and，notdaringtogivetheproperanswer，gavenoneatall。Nothingcanbeimaginedmorecomic，noryetmoretragical，thanthisscenewouldhavebeenifithadlastedmuchlonger。Theladyhadalreadychangedcolourtwoorthreetimes；hadgotupfromthebedandsatdownagain，whileJoneswaswishingthegroundtosinkunderhim，orthehousetofallonhishead，whenanoddaccidentfreedhimfromanembarrassment，outofwhichneithertheeloquenceofaCicero，northepoliticsofaMachiavel，couldhavedeliveredhim，withoututterdisgrace。
ThiswasnootherthanthearrivalofyoungNightingale，deaddrunk；
orratherinthatstateofdrunkennesswhichdeprivesmenoftheuseoftheirreason，withoutdeprivingthemoftheuseoftheirlimbs。
Mrs。Millerandherdaughterswereinbed，andPartridgewassmoakinghispipebythekitchenfire；sothathearrivedatMr。
Jones’schamber-doorwithoutanyinterruption。Thisheburstopen，andwasenteringwithoutanyceremony，whenJonesstartedfromhisscatandrantoopposehim，whichhedidsoeffectually，thatNightingalenevercamefarenoughwithinthedoortoseewhowassittingonthebed。
NightingalehadinrealitymistakenJones’sapartmentforthatinwhichhimselfhadlodged；hethereforestronglyinsistedoncomingin，oftenswearingthathewouldnotbekeptfromhisownbed。Jones，however，prevailedoverhim，anddeliveredhimintothehandsofPartridge，whomthenoiseonthestairssoonsummonedtohismaster’sassistance。
AndnowJoneswasunwillinglyobligedtoreturntohisownapartment，whereattheveryinstantofhisentranceheheardLadyBellastonventinganexclamation，thoughnotaveryloudone；andatthesametimesawherflingingherselfintoachairinavastagitation，whichinaladyoftenderconstitutionwouldhavebeenanhystericfit。
Inrealitythelady，frightenedwiththestrugglebetweenthetwomen，ofwhichshedidnotknowwhatwouldbetheissue，assheheardNightingaleswearmanyoathshewouldcometohisownbed，attemptedtoretiretoherknownplaceofhiding，whichtohergreatconfusionshefoundalreadyoccupiedbyanother。
\"Isthisusagetobeborne，Mr。Jones？\"criesthelady-\"Basestofmen！——Whatwretchisthistowhomyouhaveexposedme？\"\"Wretch！\"
criesHonour，burstinginaviolentragefromherplaceofconcealment——\"Marrycomeup！——Wretchforsooth？——aspoorawretchasIam，Iamhonest；thisismorethansomefolkswhoarerichercansay。\"
Jones，insteadofapplyinghimselfdirectlytotakeofftheedgeofMrs。Honour’sresentment，asamoreexperiencedgallantwouldhavedone，felltocursinghisstars，andlamentinghimselfasthemostunfortunatemanintheworld；andpresentlyafter，addressinghimselftoLadyBellaston，hefelltosomeveryabsurdprotestationsofinnocence。Bythistimethelady，havingrecoveredtheuseofherreason，whichshehadasreadyasanywomanintheworld，especiallyonsuchoccasions，calmlyreplied:\"Sir，youneedmakenoapologies，I
seenowwhothepersonis；IdidnotatfirstknowMrs。Honour:butnowIdo，Icansuspectnothingwrongbetweenherandyou；andIamsuresheisawomanoftoogoodsensetoputanywrongconstructionsuponmyvisittoyou；Ihavebeenalwaysherfriend，anditmaybeinmypowertobemuchmorehereafter。\"
Mrs。Honourwasaltogetherasplacableasshewaspassionate。
Hearing，therefore，LadyBellastonassumethesofttone，shelikewisesoftenedhers——\"I’msure，madam，\"saysshe，\"Ihavebeenalwaysreadytoacknowledgeyourladyship’sfriendshipstome；sureIneverhadsogoodafriendasyourladyship——andtobesure，nowI
seeitisyourladyshipthatIspoketo，Icouldalmostbitemytongueoffforverymad-Iconstructionsuponyourladyship-tobesureitdothnotbecomeaservantasIamtothinkaboutsuchagreatlady-I
meanIwasaservant:forindeedIamnobody’sservantnow，themoremiserablewretchisme-Ihavelostthebestmistress——\"HereHonourthoughtfittoproduceashoweroftears-\"Don’tcry，child，\"saysthegoodlady；\"waysperhapsmaybefoundtomakeyouamends。Cometometo-morrowmorning。\"Shethentookupherfanwhichlayontheground，andwithoutevenlookingatJones，walkedverymajesticallyoutoftheroom；therebeingakindofdignityintheimpudenceofwomenofquality，whichtheirinferiorsvainlyaspiretoattaintoincircumstancesofthisnature。
Jonesfollowedherdownstairs，oftenofferingherhishand，whichsheabsolutelyrefusedhim，andgotintoherchairwithouttakinganynoticeofhim，ashestoodbowingbeforeher。
Athisreturnupstairs，alongdialoguepastbetweenhimandMrs。
Honour，whileshewasadjustingherselfafterthediscomposureshehadundergone。Thesubjectofthiswashisinfidelitytoheryounglady；
onwhichsheenlargedwithgreatbitterness；butJonesatlastfoundmeanstoreconcileher，andnotonlyso，buttoobtainapromiseofmostinviolablesecrecy，andthatshewouldthenextmorningendeavourtofindoutSophia，andbringhimafurtheraccountoftheproceedingsofthesquire。
ThusendedthisunfortunateadventuretothesatisfactiononlyofMrs。Honour；forasecretassomeofmyreaderswillperhapsacknowledgefromexperienceisoftenaveryvaluablepossession:
andthatnotonlytothosewhofaithfullykeepit，butsometimestosuchaswhisperitabouttillitcometotheearsofeveryone，excepttheignorantpersonwhopaysforthesupposedconcealingofwhatispublicklyknown。
Chapter8
ShortandsweetNothwithstandingalltheobligationsshehadreceivedfromJones，Mrs。Millercouldnotforbearinthemorningsomegentleforthehurricanewhichhadhappenedtheprecedingnightinhischamber。Thesewere，however，sogentleandsofriendly，professing，andindeedtruly，toaimatnothingmorethantherealgoodofMr。Joneshimself，thathe，farfrombeingoffended，thankfullyreceivedtheadmonitionofthegoodwoman，expressedmuchconcernforwhathadpast，excuseditaswellashecould，andpromisednevermoretobringthesamedisturbancesintothehouse。
ButthoughMrs。Millerdidnotrefrainfromashortexpostulationinprivateattheirfirstmeeting，yettheoccasionofhisbeingsummoneddownstairsthatmorningwasofamoreagreeablekind，beingindeedtoperformtheofficeofafathertoMissNancy，andtogiveherinwedlocktoMr。Nightingale，whowasnowreadydrest，andfullassoberasmanyofmyreaderswillthinkamanoughttobewhoreceivesawifeinsoimprudentamanner。
Andhereperhapsitmaybepropertoaccountfortheescapewhichthisyounggentlemanhadmadefromhisuncle，andforhisappearanceintheconditioninwhichwehaveseenhimthenightbefore。
Nowwhentheunclehadarrivedathislodgingswithhisnephew，partlytoindulgehisowninclinationsforhedearlylovedhisbottle，andpartlytodisqualifyhisnephewfromtheimmediateexecutionofhispurpose，heorderedwinetobesetonthetable；withwhichhesobrisklyplyedtheyounggentleman，thatthislatter，who，thoughnotmuchusedtodrinking，didnotdetestitsoastobeguiltyofdisobedienceorwantofcomplacencebyrefusing，wassooncompletelyfinished。
Justastheunclehadobtainedthisvictory，andwaspreparingabedforhisnephew，amessengerarrivedwithapieceofnews，whichsoentirelydisconcertedandshockedhim，thatheinamomentlostallconsiderationforhisnephew，andhiswholemindbecameentirelytakenupwithhisownconcerns。
Thissuddenandafflictingnewswasnolessthanthathisdaughterhadtakentheopportunityofalmostthefirstmomentofhisabsence，andhadgoneoffwithaneighbouringyoungclergyman；againstwhom，thoughherfathercouldhavehadbutoneobjection，namely，thathewasworthnothing，yetshehadneverthoughtpropertocommunicateheramoureventothatfather；andsoartfullyhadshemanaged，thatithadneverbeenoncesuspectedbyany，tillnowthatitwasconsummated。
OldMr。Nightingalenosoonerreceivedthisaccount，thanintheutmostconfusionheorderedapost-chaisetobeinstantlygotready，and，havingrecommendedhisnephewtothecareofaservant，hedirectlyleftthehouse，scarceknowingwhathedid，norwhitherhewent。
Theunclethusdeparted，whentheservantcametoattendthenephewtobed，hadwakedhimforthatpurpose，andhadatlastmadehimsensiblethathisunclewasgone，he，insteadofacceptingthekindofficestenderedhim，insistedonachairbeingcalled；withthistheservant，whohadreceivednostrictorderstothecontrary，readilycomplied；and，thusbeingconductedbacktothehouseofMrs。Miller，hehadstaggereduptoMr。Jones’schamber，ashathbeenbeforerecounted。
ThisbaroftheunclebeingnowremovedthoughyoungNightingaleknewnotasyetinwhatmanner，andallpartiesbeingquicklyready，themother，Mr。Jones，Mr。Nightingale，andhislove，steptintoahackney-coach，whichconveyedthemtoDoctors’Commons；whereMissNancywas，invulgarlanguage，soonmadeanhonestwoman，andthepoormotherbecame，inthepurestsenseoftheword，oneofthehappiestofallhumanbeings。
AndnowMr。Jones，havingseenhisgoodofficestothatpoorwomanandherfamilybroughttoahappyconclusion，begantoapplyhimselftohisownconcerns；buthere，lestmanyofmyreadersshouldcensurehisfollyforthustroublinghimselfwiththeaffairsofothers，andlestsomefewshouldthinkheactedmoredisinterestedlythanindeedhedid，wethinkpropertoassureourreader，thathewassofarfrombeingunconcernedinthismatter，thathehadindeedaveryconsiderableinterestinbringingittothatfinalconsummation。
Toexplainthisseemingparadoxatonce，hewasonewhocouldtrulysaywithhiminTerence，Homosum:humaninihilamealienumputo。*Hewasneveranindifferentspectatorofthemiseryorhappinessofanyone；andhefelteithertheoneortheotheringreaterproportionashehimselfcontributedtoeither。Hecouldnot，therefore，betheinstrumentofraisingawholefamilyfromtheloweststateofwretchednesstothehighestpitchofjoywithoutconveyinggreatfelicitytohimself；more，perhaps，thanworldlymenoftenpurchasetothemselvesbyundergoingthemostseverelabour，andoftenbywadingthroughthedeepestiniquity。
*Iamaman；Iholdasindifferentnothingthatconcernsman。
Thosereaderswhoareofthesamecomplexionwithhimwill，perhaps，thinkthisshortchaptercontainsabundanceofmatter；whileothersmayprobablywish，shortasitis，thatithadbeentotallysparedasimpertinenttothemaindesign，whichIsupposetheyconcludeistobringMr。Jonestothegallows，or，ifpossible，toamoredeplorablecatastrophe。