“She”sacorker，“saidhe。“ButI”mcontenttobewhereIam。”
Susan”sdresswasnotcutoutintheneck，wassimplyofthecollarlesskindgirlsofheragewear。Itrevealedthesmooth，voluptuousyetslendercolumnofherthroat。Andherarms，baretojustabovetheelbows，wereexquisite。ButSusan”sfascinationdidnotlieinanyorinallofhercharms，butinthatsubtletyofmagnetismwhichaccountforallthesensationalphenomenaoftherelationsofmenandwomen。Shewasaclevergirl——cleverbeyondheryears，perhaps——thoughinthisdayseventeenisnotfarfromfullydevelopedwomanhood。Butevenhadshebeensilly，menwouldhavebeengladtolingeronandonunderthespellofthesexcallwhichnaturehadsubtlywovenintothetextureofhervoice，intotheglanceofhereyes，intothedelicateemanationsofherskin。
Theytalkedofallmannerofthings——gamesandcollegeEastandWest——thewondersofNewYork——theweather，finally。Samwaseverymomentofthetimepuzzlinghowtobringuptheonesubjectthatinterestedbothaboveallothers，thatinterestedhimtotheexclusionofallothers。Hewasanardentstudentofthegameofmanandwoman，hadmadeconsiderableprogressatit——remarkableprogress，inviewofhisbaretwentyyears。Hehaddevisedasmany“openings“asanexpertchessplayer。Noneseemedtofitthisdifficultcasehowtomakelovetoagirlofhisownclasswhomhisconventional，sociallyambitiousnatureforbadehimtoconsidermarrying。Asheobservedherinthemoonlight，hesaidtohimself：“I”vegottolookoutorI”llmakeadamnfoolofmyselfwithher。”Forhisheadypassionwasfastgettingthebetterofthoseprudentinstinctshehadinheritedfromafatherwhoalmostbreathedbycalculation。
Whilehewasstillstrugglingforan“opening，“Susaneagertohelphimbutnotknowinghow，therecamefromthefarinteriorofthehousethreedistantraps。“Gracious！“exclaimedSusan。
“That”sUncleGeorge。Itmustbeteno”clock。”Withfrankregret，“I”msosorry。Ithoughtitwasearly。”
“Yes，itdidseemasifI”djustcome，“saidSam。Hershyinnocencewascontagious。Hefeltanawkwardcountrylout。
“Well，IsupposeImustgo。”
“Butyou”llcomeagain——sometime？“sheaskedwistfully。Itwasherfirstrealbeau——thefirstthathadinterestedher——andwhatadreamloverofabeauhelooked，standingbeforeherinthatwonderfullight！
“Come？Rather！“exclaimedheinatoneofenthusiasmthatcouldnotbutflatterherintoasortofintoxication。“I”dhavehardworkstayingaway。ButRuth——she”llalwaysbehere。”
“Oh，shegoesoutalot——andIdon”t。”
“Willyoutelephoneme——nexttimeshe”stobeout？“
`Yes，“agreedshewithahesitationthatwasexplainedwhensheadded：“Butdon”tthinkyou”vegottocome……Oh，Imustgoin！“
“Goodnight——Susie。”Samheldouthishand。Shetookitwithaqueerreluctance。Shefeltnervous，afraid，asifthereweresomethinguncannylurkingsomewhereinthosemoonlightshadows。
Shegentlytriedtodrawherhandaway，buthewouldnotlether。Shemadeafaintstruggle，thenyielded。Itwassowonderful，thesenseofthetouchofhishand。“Susie！“hesaidhoarsely。Andsheknewhefeltasshedid。Beforesherealizedithisarmswereroundher，andhislipshadmethers。“Youdrivemecrazy，“hewhispered。
Bothweretrembling；shehadbecomequitecold——hercheeks，herhand，herbodyeven。“Youmustn”t，“shemurmured，drawinggentlyaway。
“Yousetmecrazy，“herepeated。“Doyou——loveme——alittle？“
“Oh，Imustgo！“shepleaded。Tearswereglisteninginherlongdarklashes。Thesightofthemmaddenedhim。“Doyou——Susie？“hepleaded。
“I”m——I”m——veryyoung，“shestammered。
“Yes——yes——Iknow，“heassentedeagerly。“Butnottooyoungtolove，Susie？No。Becauseyoudo——don”tyou？“
Themoonlitworldseemedafairyland。“Yes，“shesaidsoftly。“I
guessso。Imustgo。Imust。”
Andmovedbeyondherpowertocontrolherself，shebrokefromhisdetaininghandandfledintothehouse。Shedarteduptoherroom，pausedinthemiddleofthefloor，herhandsclaspedoverherwildlybeatingheart。Whenshecouldmoveshethrewopentheshuttersandwentoutonthebalcony。Sheleanedagainstthewindowframeandgazedupatthestars，instinctivelyseekingthecompanionshipoftheinfinite。Curiouslyenough，shethoughtlittleaboutSam。Shewasawedandwonderstruckbeforethestrangemysteriouseventwithinher，theopeningup，thefloweringofhersoul。Thesevastemotions，wheredidtheycomefrom？Whatwerethey？Whydidshelongtoburstintolaughter，toburstintotears？Whydidshedoneither，butsimplystandmotionless，withthestarsblazingandreelingintheskyandherheartbeatinglikemadandherbloodsurgingandebbing？Wasthis——love？Yes——itmustbelove。Oh，howwonderfullovewas——andhowsad——andhowhappybeyondalllaughter——andhowsweet！Shefeltanenormoustendernessforeverybodyandforeverything，foralltheworld——anoverwhelmingsenseofbeautyandgoodness。Herlipsweremoving。Shewasamazedtofindshewasrepeatingtheoneprayersheknew，theoneAuntFannyhadtaughtherinbabyhood。Whyshouldshefindherselfpraying？
Love——lovelove！Shewasawomanandsheloved！Sothiswaswhatitmeanttobeawoman；itmeanttolove！
ShewasrousedbythesoundofRuthsayinggoodnighttosomeoneatthegate，invisiblebecauseoftheinterveningfoliage。Why，itmustbedreadfullylate。TheDipperhadmovedawayroundtothesouth，andtheheatofthedaywasallgone，andtheairwasfullofthecool，scentedbreathofleavesandflowersandgrass。Ruth”slightsshoneoutuponthebalcony。Susanturnedtoslipintoherownroom。ButRuthheard，calledoutpeevishly：
“Who”sthere？“
“Onlyme，“criedSusan。
ShelongedtogoinandembraceRuth，andkissher。ShewouldhavelikedtoaskRuthtolethersleepwithher，butshefeltRuthwouldn”tunderstand。
“Whatareyoudoingoutthere？“demandedRuth。“It”s”wayafterone。”
“Oh——dear——Imustgotobed，“criedSusan。Ruth”svoicesomehowseemedtobeknockingandtumblinghernewdream-world。
“WhattimedidSamWrightleavehere？“askedRuth。
Shewasstandinginherwindownow。Susansawthatherfacelookedtiredandworn，almosthomely。
“Atten，“shereplied。“UncleGeorgeknockedonthebanister。”
“Areyousureitwasten？“saidRuthsharply。
“Iguessso。Yes——itwasten。Why？“
“Oh——nothing。”
“WasheatSinclairs”？“
“Hecameasitwasover。HeandLottiebroughtmehome。”Ruthwaseyeinghercousinevilly。“Howdidyoutwogeton？“
Susanflushedfromheadtofoot。“Oh——so-so，“sheanswered，inanuncertainvoice。
“Idon”tknowwhyhedidn”tcometoSinclairs”，“snappedRuth。
Susanflushedagain——adeliciouswarmthfromheadtofoot。Sheknewwhy。Sohe，too，hadbeendreamingalone。Love！Love！
“Whatareyousmilingat？“criedRuthcrossly。
“WasIsmiling？……Doyouwantmetohelpyouundress？“
“No，“wasthecurtanswer。“Goodnight。”
“Pleaseletmeunhookit，atleast，“urgedSusan，followingRuthintoherroom。
Ruthsubmitted。
“Didyouhaveagoodtime？“askedSusan。
“Ofcourse，“snappedRuth。“WhatmadeyouthinkIdidn”t？“
“Don”tbeasilly，dear。Ididn”tthinkso。”
“Ihadanawfultime——awful！“
Ruthbegantosob，turnedfiercelyonSusan。“Leavemealone！“
shecried。“Ihatetohaveyoutouchme。”Thedresswas，ofcourse，entirelyunfastenedintheback。
“YouhadaquarrelwithArthur？“askedSusanwithsympathy。“Butyouknowhecan”tkeepawayfromyou。Tomorrow——”
“Becareful，Susan，howyouletSamWrighthangaroundyou，“
criedRuth，withblazingeyesandtremblinglips。“Youbecareful——that”sallI”vegottosay。”
“Why，whatdoyoumean？“askedSusanwonderingly。
“Becareful！He”dneverthinkforaminuteofmarryingyou。”
ThewordsmeantnothingtoSusan；butthetonestabbedintoherheart。“Whynot？“shesaid。
Ruthlookedathercousin，hungherheadinshame。“Go——go！“shebegged。“Pleasego。I”mabadgirl——bad——_bad_！Go！“And，cryinghysterically，shepushedamazedSusanthroughtheconnectingdoor，closedandboltedit。
CHAPTERIV
WHENFannyWarhamwasyounghermother——compelledbyherfather——roused”routedout“——thechildrenathalf-pastsixonweekdaysandatsevenonSundaysforprayersandbreakfast，nomatterwhattimetheyhadgonetobedthenightbefore。ThehorrorofthismadesuchanimpressionuponherthatsheneverpermittedRuthandSusantobeawakened；alwaystheysleptuntiltheyhad“hadtheirsleepout。”Regularitywasnodoubtanexcellentthingforhealthandformoraldiscipline；butthebestrulecouldbecarriedtofoolishextremes。UntilthelastyearMrs。Warhamhadmadehertwogirlslivealifeofthestrictestsimplicityandregularity，withtheresultthattheywerethemostamazingly，soundly，healthygirlsinSutherland。
Andtheregimenstillheld，exceptwhentheyhadcompanyintheeveningorwentout——andMrs。Warhamsawtoitthattherewasnottoomuchofthatsortofthing。InallherlifethusfarSusanhadneversleptlessthantenhours，rarelylessthantwelve。
Itlackedlessthanaminuteofteno”clockthemorningafterSam”scallwhenSusan”seyesopeneduponhersimple，pale-graybedroom，neatandfresh。Shelookedsleepilyatthelittleclockonthenightstand。
“Mercyme！“shecried。Andherbarefeetwereonthefloorandshewasstretchingherlitheyoungbody，weakfromtherelaxationofherprofoundsleep。
SheheardsomeonestirringinRuth”sroom；instantlyRuth”sremark，“He”dneverthinkforaminuteofmarryingyou，“poppedintoherhead。Itstillmeantnothingtoher。Shecouldnothaveexplainedwhyitcamebackorwhyshefelltopuzzlingoveritasifitheldsomemysteriousmeaning。Perhapsthereasonwasthatfromearlychildhoodtherehadbeenaccumulatinginsomeduskychamberofhermindstrayhappeningsandremarks，allbaringupontheunsuspectedsecretofherbirthandtheunsuspectedstrangenessofherpositionintheworldwhereeveryoneelsewasdefinitelyplacedandticketed。ShewaswonderingaboutRuth”squeerhystericaloutburst，evidentlytheresultofaquarrelwithArthurSinclair。“IguessRuthcaresmoreforhimthansheletson，“thoughtshe。Thislovethathadcometohersosuddenlyandmiraculouslymadeheralertforsignsofloveelsewhere。
Shewenttotheboltedconnectingdoor；shecouldnotrememberwhenithadeverbeenboltedbefore，andshefeltforlornandshutout。“Ruth！“shecalled。
“Isthatyou？“
Abriefsilence，thenafaint“Yes。”
“MayIcomein？“
“You”dbettertakeyourbathandgetdownstairs。”
Thisremindedherthatshewashungry。Shegatheredherunderclothestogether，andwiththebundleinherarmsdartedacrossthehallintothebathroom。Thecoldwateractedaschampagnepromisestoactbutdoesn”t。Shefeltgiddywithhealthandhappiness。Andthebrightsunwasfloodingthebathroom，andtheodorsfromthebigbedofhyacinthsinthesidelawnscentedthewarmbreezefromtheopenwindow。Whenshedashedbacktoherroomshewassinging，andhersingingvoicewasascharmingasherspeakingvoicepromised。Afewminutesandherhairhadgoneupincarelessgraceandshewascladinafreshdressoftanlinen，fullintheblouse。This，withhertanstockingsandtanslippersandtheradiantyouthofherface，gaveheralookofuttercleannessandfreshnessthatwasexceedinglygoodtosee。
“I”mready，“shecalled。
Therewasnoanswer；doubtlessRuthhadalreadydescended。Sherusheddownstairsandintothedining-room。Noonewasatthelittletablesetinoneofthewindowsinreadinessforthelatebreakfasters。
Mollycame，bringingcocoa，acereal，hotbiscuitandcrab-applepreserves，allattractivelyarrangedonalargetray。
“Ididn”tbringmuch，MissSusie，“sheapologized。“It”ssolate，andIdon”twantyoutospoilyourdinner。We”regoingtohavethegrandestchickenthatevercameoutofanegg。”
Susansurveyedthetraywithdelightedeyes。“That”splenty，“shesaid，“ifyoudon”ttalktoomuchaboutthechicken。Where”sRuth？“
“Sheain”tcomingdown。She”sgotaheadache。ItwasthatsaladforsupperovertoSinclairs”lastnight。Saladain”tfitforadogtoeat，nohow——that”s_my_opinion。Andatnight——it”ssuretobustyourfaceoutorgiveyoutheheadacheorboth。”
Susanatewithherusualenthusiasm，thinkingthewhileofSamandwonderinghowshecouldcontrivetoseehim。Sherememberedherpromisetoheruncle。Shehadnoteatennearlysomuchasshewanted。Butupshesprangandinfifteenminuteswasonherwaytothestore。ShehadseenneitherRuthnorheraunt。
“_He_”llbewaitingformetopass，“shethought。Andshewasnotdisappointed。Therehestood，atthefootpathgateintohisfather”splace。Hehadarrayedhimselfinablueandwhiteflannelsuit，whitehatandshoes；abigexpensive-lookingcigaretteadornedhislips。TheMartins，theDelevans，theCastlesandtheBowens，neighborsacrosstheway，werewatchinghimadmiringlythroughthemeshesoflacewindowcurtains。Sheexpectedthathewouldcomeforwardeagerly。Instead，hecontinuedtoleanindolentlyonthegate，asifunawareofherapproach。Andwhenshewascloseathand，hisbowandsmilewere，soitseemedtoher，almostcoldlypolite。Intohereyescameaconfused，hurtexpression。
“Susie——sweetheart，“hesaid，thevoiceinasastonishingcontrastasthewordstohisairoffriendlyindifference。
“They”rewatchingusfromthewindowsallaroundhere。”
“Oh——yes，“assentedshe，asifsheunderstood。Butshedidn”t。
InSutherlandtheyoungpeoplewerenotsomindfulofgossip，whichitwasimpossibletoescape，anyhow。Still——offthereintheEast，nodoubt，theyhadmorerefinedways；withoutadoubt，whateverSamdidwasthecorrectthing。
“Doyoustillcareasyoudidlastnight？“heasked。Theeffectofhiswordsuponherwassoobviousthatheglancednervouslyround。Itwasdelightfultobeabletoevokealovelikethis；
buthedidwishothersweren”tlooking。
“I”mgoingtoUncle”sstore，“shesaid。“I”mlate。”
“I”llwalkpartofthewaywithyou，“hevolunteered，andtheystartedon。“That——thatkiss，“hestammered。“Icanfeelityet。”
Sheblusheddeeply，happily。Herbeautymadehimtingle。“SocanI，“shesaid。
Theywalkedinsilenceseveralsquares。“WhenwillIseeyouagain？“heasked。“Tonight？“
“Yes——docomedown。But——Ruth”llbethere。IbelieveArtieSinclair”scoming。”
“Oh，thatcounter-jumper？“
Shelookedathiminsurprise。“He”sanawfullynicefellow，“
saidshe。“Aboutthenicestintown。”
“Ofcourse，“repliedSamelaborately。“Ibegyourpardon。TheythinkdifferentlyaboutthosethingsintheEast。”
“Whatthing？“
“Nomatter。”
Sam，whosesecretdreamwastomarrysomefashionableEasternwomanandcutadashinFifthAvenuelife，hadnointentionofexplainingwhatwaswhattoonewhowouldnotunderstand，wouldnotapprove，andwouldbemadeauspiciousofhim。“IsupposeRuthandSinclair”llpairoffandgiveusachance。”
“You”llcome？“
“Rightafterdin——supper，Imean。IntheEastwehavedinnerintheevening。”
“Isn”tthatqueer！“exclaimedSusan。Butshewasthinkingofthejoysinstoreforheratthecloseoftheday。
“Imustgobacknow，“saidSam。Farupthestreethesawhissister”sponycartcoming。
“Youmightaswellwalktothestore。”Itseemedtoherthattheybothhadeversomuchtosaytoeachother，andhadsaidnothing。
“No。Ican”tgoanyfurther。Good-by——thatis，tilltonight。”
Hewasredandstammering。Astheyshookhandsemotionmadethemspeechless。Hestumbledawkwardlyasheturnedtoleave，becamestillmorehotlyself-consciouswhenhesawthegrinonthefacesofthegroupofloungersatapackingcasenearthecurb。
Susandidnotseetheloafers，didnotseeanythingdistinctly。
Herfeetsoughttheunevenbricksidewalkuncertainly，andthebloodwaspouringintohercheeks，wassteaminginherbrain，makingaredmistbeforehereyes。Shewasgladhehadlefther。
Thejoyofbeingwithhimwassokeenthatitwaspain。Nowshecouldbreathefreelyandcoulddream——dream——dream。Shemadeblunderafterblunderinworkingovertheaccountswithheruncle，andhebegantoteaseher。
“Yousureareinlove，Brownie，“declaredhe。
Herpainfulbuthappyblushdelightedhim。
“Tellmeallaboutit？“
Sheshookherhead，bendingitlowtohidehercolor。
“No？……Sometime？“
Shenodded。Shewasglancingshylyandmerrilyathimnow。
“Well，someholdthatfirstlove”sbest。Maybeso。Butitseemstomeanytime”sgoodenough。Still——thefirsttime”smightyfineeh？“Hesighed。“My，butit”sgoodtobeyoung！“Andhepattedherthickwavyhair。
ItdidnotleakoutuntilsupperthatSamwascoming。WarhamsaidtoSusan，“WhileRuth”slookingoutforArtie，youandI”llhaveagameorsoofchess，Brownie。”Susancoloredviolently。
“What？“laughedWarham。“Are_you_goingtohaveabeautoo？“
Susanfelttwopairsoffeminineeyespounce——hostileeyes，savagelycurious。Shepaledwithfrightasqueer，asunprecedented，asthosehostileglances。Itseemedtoherthatshehaddoneorwasabouttodosomethingcriminal。Shecouldnotspeak。
Anawfulsilence，thenheraunt——shenolongerseemedherlovingaunt——askedinanominousvoice：“Issomeonecomingtoseeyou，Susan？“
“SamWright“——stammeredSusan”Isawhimthismorning——hewasattheirgate——andhesaid——Ithinkhe”scoming。”
Adeadsilence——Warhamsilentbecausehewaseating，butthetwoothersnotforthatreason。
Susanfelthorriblyguilty，andfornoreason。“I”dhavespokenofitbefore，“shesaid，“buttheredidn”tseemtobeanychance。”Shehadtheinstinctoffineshynaturetoveilthesoul；shefoundithardtospeakofanythingassacredasthisloveofhersandwhateverrelatedtoit。
“Ican”tallowthis，Susie，“saidheraunt，withlipstightlydrawnagainsttheteeth。“Youaretooyoung。”
“Oh，comenow，mother，“criedWarham，good-humoredly。“That”sfoolishness。Lettheyoungfolkshaveagoodtime。Youdidn”tthinkyouweretooyoungatSusie”sage。”
“Youdon”tunderstand，George，“saidFannyaftershehadgivenhimaprivatefrown。Susie”sgazewasonthetablecloth。“I
can”tpermitSamtocomeheretoseeSusie。”
Ruth”seyesweredownalso。Aboutherlipswasatwitchingthatmeantastruggletohideapleasedsmile。
“I”venoobjectiontoSusie”shavingboysofherownagecometoseeher，“continuedMrs。Warhaminthesameprecise，restrainedmanner。“ButSamistooold。”
“Now，mother——”
Mrs。Warhammethiseyessteadily。“Imustprotectmysister”schild，George，“shesaid。AtlastshehadfoundwhatshefeltwasajustreasonforkeepingSamawayfromSusan，sohertonewashonestandstrong。
Warhamloweredhisgaze。Heunderstood。“Oh——asyouthinkbest，Fan；Ididn”tmeantointerfere，“saidheawkwardly。HeturnedonSusanwithhisaffectioninhiseyes。“Well，Brownie，itlookslikechesswithyourolduncle，doesn”tit？“
Susan”sbosomwasswelling，herliptrembling。“I——I——”shebegan。Shechokedbackthesobs，falteredout：“Idon”tthinkI
could，Uncle，“andrushedfromtheroom。
Therewasanuncomfortablepause。ThenWarhamsaid，“Imustsay，Fan，Ithink——ifyouhadtodoit——youmighthavesparedthegirl”sfeelings。”
Mrs。Warhamfeltmiserableaboutitalso。“Susietookmebysurprise，“sheapologized。Then，defiantly，“AndwhatelsecanIdo？Youknowhedoesn”tcomeforanygood。”
Warhamstaredinamazement。“Now，whatdoes_that_mean？“hedemanded。
“Youknowverywellwhatitmeans，“retortedhiswife。
Hertonemadehimunderstand。Hereddened，andwithtooblusteringangerbroughthisfistdownonthetable。
“Susan”sourdaughter。She”sRuth”ssister。”
Ruthpushedbackherchairandstoodup。Herexpressionmadeherlookmucholderthanshewas。“Iwishyoucouldinducetherestofthetowntothinkthat，papa，“saidshe。“It”dmakemypositionlesspainful。”Andshe，too，lefttheroom。
“What”sshetalkingabout？“askedWarham。
“It”strue，George，“repliedFannywithtremblinglip。“It”sallmyfault——insistingonkeepingher。Imighthaveknown！“
“IthinkyouandRuthmustbecrazy。I”veseennosign。”
“HaveyouseenanyoftheboyscallingonSusansincesheshotupfromachildtoagirl？Haven”tyounoticedsheisn”tinvitedanymoreexceptwhenitcan”tbeavoided？“
Warham”sfacewasfierywithrage。Helookedhelplessly，furiouslyabout。Buthesaidnothing。Tofightpublicsentimentwouldbeliketryingtothrustbackwithone”sfistsanoncreepingfog。Finallyhecried，“It”stoooutrageoustotalkabout。”
“IfIonlyknewwhattodo！“moanedFanny。
Alongsilence，whileWarhamwasgraspingthefullnessofthemeaning，thefrightfulmeaning，intheserevelationssoastoundingtohim。Atlasthesaid：
“Does_she_realize？“
“Iguessso……Idon”tknow……Idon”tbelieveshedoes。
She”sthemostinnocentchildthatevergrewup。”
“IfIhadachance，I”dselloutandmoveaway。”
“Where？“saidhiswife。“Wherewouldpeopleaccept——her？“
Warhambecamesuddenlyangryagain。“Idon”tbelieveit！“hecried，hislookandtonecontradictinghiswords。“You”vebeenmakingamountainoutofamolehill。”
Andhestrodefromtheroom，flungonhishatandwentforawalk。AsMrs。Warhamcamefromthedining-roomafewminuteslater，Ruthappearedinthesideverandadoorway。“IthinkI”lltelephoneArthurtocometomorroweveninginstead，“saidshe。
“He”dnotlikeit，withSamheretoo。”
“Thatwouldbebetter，“assentedhermother。“Yes，I”dtelephonehimifIwereyou。”
ThusitcameaboutthatSusan，descendingthestairstothelibrarytogetabook，heardRuthsayintothetelephoneinhersweetestvoice，“Yes——tomorrowevening，Arthur。Someothersarecoming——theWrights。You”dhavetotalktoLottie……Idon”tblameyou……Tomorrowevening，then。Sosorry。Good-by。”
Thegirlonthestairwaystoppedshort，shrankagainstthewall。
Amoment，andshehastilyreascended，enteredherroom，closedthedoor。Lovehadawakenedthewoman；andthewomanwasnotsounsuspecting，soeasilydeceivedasthechildhadbeen。Sheunderstoodwhathercousinandherauntwereabout；theyweretryingtotakeherloverfromher！Sheunderstoodheraunt”slooksandtones，hercousin”stemperandhysteria。Shesatdownuponthefloorandcriedwithabreakingheart。Theinjusticeofit！Themeannessofit！Thewickednessofaworldwhereevenhersweetcousin，evenherlovingauntwerewicked！Shesatthereontheflooralongtime，abandonedtothemiseryofafirstshatteredillusion，amiserythemorecruelbecauseneverbeforehadeithercousinorauntsaidordoneanythingtocauseherrealpain。Thesoundofvoicescomingthroughtheopenwindowfrombelowmadeherstartupandgooutonthebalcony。Sheleanedovertherail。Shecouldnotseetheverandaforthemassesofcreeper，butthevoiceswerenowquiteplaininthestillness。Ruth”svoicegayandincessant。Presentlyaman”svoice_his_——andlaughing！Thenhisvoicespeaking——thenthetwovoicesmingled——bothtalkingatonce，soeagerwerethey！Herlover——andRuthwasstealinghimfromher！Oh，thebaseness，thetreachery！Andherauntwashelping！……Soreofheart，utterlyforlorn，shesatinthebalconyhammock，achingwithloveandjealousy。Everynowandthensheraninandlookedattheclock。Hewasstayingonandon，thoughhemusthavelearnedshewasnotcomingdown。Sheheardheruncleandauntcomeuptobed。Nowthepianointheparlorwasgoing。FirstitwasRuthsingingoneofherprettylovesongsinthatclearsmallvoiceofhers。ThenSamplayedandsang——howhisvoicethrilledher！
AgainitwasRuthiesinging”SweetDreamFaces“——Susanbegantosobafresh。ShecouldseeRuthatthepiano，howbeautifulshelooked——andthatsong——itwouldbeimpossibleforhimnottobeimpressed。Shefeltthejealousyofdespair……Teno”clock——half-past——eleveno”clock！Sheheardthemattheedgeoftheveranda——so，atlasthewasgoing。Shewasabletoheartheirwordsnow：
“You”llbeupforthetennisinthemorning？“hewassaying。
“Atten，“repliedRuth。
“OfcourseSusie”sasked，too，“hesaid——andhisvoicesoundedcareless，notatallearnest。
“Certainly，“washercousin”sreply。“ButI”mnotsureshecancome。”
Itwasallthegirlatthebalconyrailcoulddotorefrainfromcryingoutaprotest。ButSamwassayingtoRuth：
“Well——goodnight。Haven”thadsomuchfuninalongtime。MayIcomeagain？“
“Ifyoudon”t，I”llthinkyouwerebored。”
“Bored！“Helaughed。“That”stooridiculous。Seeyouinthemorning。Goodnight……GivemylovetoSusie，andtellherIwassorrynottoseeher。”
Susanwasallinaglowashercousinanswered，“I”lltellher。”
doubtlessSamdidn”tnoteit，butSusanheardtheconstraint，thehypocrisyinthatsweetvoice。
Shewatchedhimstrolldowntothegateunderthearchofboughsdimlylitbythemoon。Shestretchedherarmspassionatelytowardhim。Thenshewentintogotobed。ButatthesoundofRuthhumminggaylyinthenextroom，sherealizedthatshecouldnotsleepwithherheartfullofevilthoughts。Shemusthaveitoutwithhercousin。Sheknockedonthestillbolteddoor。
“Whatisit？“askedRuthcoldly。
“Letmein，“answeredSusan。“I”vegottoseeyou。”
“Gotobed，Susie。It”slate。”
“Youmustletmein。”
Theboltshotback。“Allright。Andpleaseunhookmydress——there”sadear。”
Susanopenedthedoor，stoodonthethreshold，allherdarkpassioninherface。“Ruth！“shecried。
Ruthhadturnedherback，inreadinessfortheservicetheneedofwhichhadalonecausedhertounboltthedoor。Atthatswift，fierceejaculationshestarted，wheeledround。Atsightofthatwildangershepaled。“Why，Susie！“shegasped。
“I”vefoundyouout！“ragedSusan。“You”retryingtostealhimfromme——youandAuntFanny。Itisn”tfair！I”llnotstandit！“
“What_are_youtalkingabout？“criedRuth。“Youmusthavelostyoursenses。”
“I”llnotstandit，“Susanrepeated，advancingthreateningly“HelovesmeandIlovehim。”
Ruthlaughed。“Youfoolishgirl！Why，hecaresnothingaboutyou。
Theideaofyourhavingyourheadturnedbyalittlepoliteness！“
“Helovesmehetoldmeso。AndIlovehim。Itoldhimso。He”smine！Youshan”ttakehimfromme！“
“Hetoldyouhelovedyou？“
Ruth”seyesweregleamingandhervoicewasshrillwithhate。
“Hetoldyou_that_？“
“Yes——hedid！“
“Idon”tbelieveyou。”
“Weloveeachother，“criedthedarkgirl。“Hecametosee_me_。
You”vegotArthurSinclair。Youshan”ttakehimaway！“
Thetwogirls，shakingwithfury，werefacingeachother，werelookingintoeachother”seyes。“IfSamWrighttoldyouhelovedyou，“saidRuth，withtheicydeliberatenessofacold-heartedanger，“hewastryingto——tomakeafoolofyou。Yououghttobeashamedofyourself。_We_”retryingtosaveyou。”
“HeandIareengaged！“declaredSusan。“Youshan”ttakehim——andyoucan”t！He_loves_me！“
“Engaged！“jeeredRuth。“Engaged！“shelaughed，pretendingnottobelieve，yetbelieving。Shewasbesideherselfwithjealousanger。“Yes——we”llsaveyoufromyourself。You”relikeyourmother。You”ddisgraceus——asshedid。”
“Don”tyoudaretalkthatway，RuthWarham。It”sfalse——_false_！
Mymotherisdead——andyou”reawickedgirl。”
“It”stimeyouknewthetruth，“saidRuthsoftly。Hereyeswerehalfshutnowandsparklingdevilishly。“Youhaven”tgotanyname。Youhaven”tgotanyfather。Andnomanofanypositionwouldmarryyou。AsforSam——”Shelaughedcontemptuously。“DoyousupposeSamWrightwouldmarryagirlwithoutaname？“
Susanhadshrunkagainstthedoorjamb。Sheunderstoodonlydimly，butthingsunderstooddimlyareworsethanthingsthatareclear。“Me？“shemuttered。“Me？Oh，Ruth，youdon”tmeanthat。”
“It”strue，“saidRuth，calmly。“Andthesooneryourealizeitthelesslikelyyouaretogothewayyourmotherdid。”
Susanstoodasifpetrified。
“IfSamWrightcomeshangingroundyouanymore，you”llknowhowtotreathim，“Ruthwenton。“You”llappreciatethathehasn”tanyrespectforyou——thathethinksyou”resomeonetobetrifledwith。Andifhetalkedengagement，itwasonlyapretense。Doyouunderstand？“
Thegirlleaninginthedoorwaygazedintovacancy。Afterawhilesheanswereddully，“Iguessso。”
Ruthbegantofusswiththethingsonherbureau。Susanwentintoherroom，satontheedgeofthebed。Afewminutes，andRuth，somewhatcooleddownandnotalittlefrightened，entered。
Shelookeduneasilyatthemotionlessfigure。Finallyshesaid，“Susie！“
Noanswer。
Moresharply，“Susie！“
“Yes，“saidSusan，withoutmoving。
“YouunderstandthatItoldyouforyourowngood？Andyou”llnotsayanythingtomotherorfather？Theyfeelterriblyaboutit，anddon”twantitevermentioned。Youwon”tletonthatyouknow？“
“I”llnottell，“saidSusan。
“Youknowwe”refondofyou——andwanttodoeverythingforyou？“
Noanswer。
“Itwasn”ttrue——whatyousaidaboutSam”smakinglovetoyou？“
“That”sallover。Idon”twanttotalkaboutit。”
“You”renotangrywithme，Susie？IadmitIwasangry，butitwasbestforyoutoknow——wasn”tit？“
“Yes，“saidSusan。
“You”renotangrywithme？“
“No。”
Ruth，stillmoreuneasy，turnedbackintoherownroombecausetherewasnothingelsetodo。Shedidnotshutthedoorbetween。
Whenshewasinhernightgownsheglancedinathercousin。Thegirlwassittingontheedgeofthebedinthesameposition。
“It”saftermidnight，“saidRuth。“You”dbettergetundressed。”
Susanmovedalittle。“Iwill，“shesaid。
Ruthwenttobedandsoonfellasleep。Afteranhourorsosheawakened。Lightwasstreamingthroughtheopenconnectingdoor。
Sherantoit，lookedin。Susan”sclotheswereinaheapbesidethebed。Susanherself，withthepillowsproppingher，wasstaringwide-eyedattheceiling。ItwasimpossibleforRuthtorealizeanypartoftheeffectuponhercousinofathingsheherselfhadknownforyearsandhadtakenalwaysasamatterofcourse；shesimplyfeltmildlysorryforunfortunateSusan。
“Susie，dear，“shesaidgently，“doyouwantmetoturnoutthelight？“
“Yes，“saidSusan。
Ruthswitchedoffthelightandwentbacktobed，bettercontent。ShefeltthatnowSusanwouldstopherstaringandwouldgotosleep。Sam”scallhadbeenverysatisfactory。Ruthfeltshehadshownofftothebestadvantage，feltthatheadmiredher，wouldcometosee_her_nexttime。AndnowthatshehadsoarrangeditthatSusanwouldavoidhim，everythingwouldturnoutasshewished。“I”lluseArthurtomakehimjealousafterawhile——andthen——I”llhavethingsmyownway。”AsshefellasleepshewasselectingtheroomsSamandshewouldoccupyinthebigWrightmansion”whenwe”renotintheEastorinEurope。”
CHAPTERV
RUTHhadforgottentoclosehershutters，sotowardseveno”clockthelightwhichhadbeenbeatingagainsthereyelidsforthreehourssucceededinliftingthem。Shestretchedherselfandyawnednoisily。Susanappearedintheconnectingdoorway。
“Areyouawake？“shesaidsoftly。
“Whattimeisit？“askedRuth，toolazytoturnoverandlookatherclock。
“Tentoseven。”
“Doclosemyshuttersforme。I”llsleepanhourortwo。”Shehazilymadeoutthefigureinthedoorway。“You”redressed，aren”tyou？“sheinquiredsleepily。
“Yes，“repliedSusan。“I”vebeenwaitingforyoutowake。”
SomethinginthetonemadeRuthforgetaboutsleepandrubherfingersoverhereyestoclearthemforaviewofhercousin。
Susanseemedaboutasusual——perhapsalittleserious，butthenshehadthehabitofstrangemoodsofseriousness。“Whatdidyouwant？“saidRuth。
Susancameintotheroom，satatthefootofthebed——therewasroom，asthebedwaslongandRuthshort。“Iwantyoutotellmewhatmymotherdid。”
“Did？“echoedRuthfeebly。
“Did，todisgraceyouand——me。”
“Oh，Icouldn”texplain——notinafewwords。I”msosleepy。
Don”tbotheraboutit，Susan。”Andshethrustherheaddeeperintothepillow。“Closetheshutters。”
“ThenI”llhavetoaskAuntFanny——orUncleGeorgeoreverybody——tillIfindout。”
“Butyoumustn”tdothat，“protestedRuth，flingingherselffromlefttorightimpatiently。“Whatisityouwanttoknow？“
“Aboutmymother——andwhatshedid。AndwhyIhavenofather——whyI”mnotlikeyou——andtheothergirls。”
“Oh——it”snothing。Ican”texplain。Don”tbotheraboutit。It”snouse。Itcan”tbehelped。Anditdoesn”treallymatter。”
“I”vebeenthinking，“saidSusan。“IunderstandagreatmanythingsIdidn”tknowI”dnoticed——eversinceIwasababy。ButwhatIdon”tunderstand——”Shedrewalongbreath，acautiousbreath，asifthereweredangerofawakeningapain。“WhatIdon”tunderstandis——why。And——youmusttellmeallaboutit……Wasmymotherbad？“
“Notexactlybad，“Ruthanswereduncertainly。“Butshedidonethingthatwaswicked——atleastthatawomannevercanbeforgivenfor，ifit”sfoundout。”
“Didshe——didshetakesomethingthatdidn”tbelongtoher？“
“No——nothinglikethat。No，shewas，theysay，asniceandsweetasshecouldbe——except——Shewasn”tmarriedtoyourfather。”
Susansatinabrownstudy。“Ican”tunderstand，“shesaidatlast。“Why——she_must_havebeenmarried，or——or——therewouldn”thavebeenme。”
Ruthsmileduneasily。“Notatall。Don”tyoureallyunderstand？“
Susanshookherhead。
“He——hebetrayedher——andlefther——andtheneverybodyknewbecauseyoucame。”
Susan”sviolet-grayeyesrestedagrave，inquiringglanceuponhercousin”sface。“Butifhebetrayedher——Whatdoes`betray”
mean？Doesn”titmeanhepromisedtomarryheranddidn”t？“
“Somethinglikethat，“saidRuth。“Yes——somethinglikethat。”
“Then_he_wasthedisgrace，“saidthedarkcousin，afterreflecting。
“No——you”renottellingme，Ruth。_What_didmymotherdo？“
“Shehadyouwithoutbeingmarried。”
AgainSusansatinsilence，tryingtopuzzleitout。Ruthliftedherself，putthepillowsbehindherback。“Youdon”tunderstand——anything——doyou？Well，I”lltrytoexplain——thoughIdon”tknowmuchaboutit。”
Andhesitatingly，choosingwordsshethoughtfittedtothoseinnocentears，huntingaboutforexpressionsshethoughtcomprehensibletothatinnocentmind，Ruthexplainedtherelationsofthesexes——aninaccurate，oftenabsurd，explanation，forsheherselfknewonlywhatshehadpickedupfromothergirls——thefantastichodgepodgeofpruriency，physiologyandsheernonsensewhichunderoursystemofeducationdistortsandeitheralarmsorinflamestheimaginationsofgirlsandboyswheretheclean，simpletruthwouldatleastenlightenthem。Susanlistenedwithincreasingamazement。
“Well，doyouunderstand？“Ruthended。“Howwecomeintotheworld——andwhatmarriagemeans？“
“Idon”tbelieveit，“declaredSusan。“It”s——awful！“Andsheshiveredwithdisgust。
“Itellyouit”strue，“insistedRuth。“IthoughtitwasawfulwhenIfirstheard——whenLottieWrighttookmeoutintheirorchard，wherenobodycouldlisten，andtoldmewhattheircookhadtoldher。ButI”vegotkindofusedtoit。”
“Butit——it”sso，then；mymotherdidmarrymyfather，“saidSusan。
“No。Shelethimbetrayher。Andwhenawomanletsamanbetrayherwithoutbeingmarriedbythepreacherorsomebody，why，she”sruinedforever。”
“Butdoesn”tmarriagemeanwheretwopeoplepromisetoloveeachotherandthenbetrayeachother？“
“Ifthey”remarried，itisn”tbetraying，“explainedRuth。“Ifthey”renot，itisbetraying。”Susanreflected，noddedslowly。
“IguessIunderstand。Butdon”tyouseeitwasmyfatherwhowasthedisgrace？Hewastheonethatpromisedtomarryanddidn”t。”
“Howfoolishyouare！“criedRuth。“Ineverknewyoutobestupid。”
“Butisn”titso？“persistedSusan。
“Yes——inaway，“hercousinadmitted。“Only——thewomanmustkeepherselfpureuntiltheceremonyhasbeenperformed。”
“Butifhesaidsotoher，wasn”tthatsayingsotoGodjustasmuchasifthepreacherhadbeenthere？“
“No，itwasn”t，“saidRuthwithirritation。“Andit”swickedtothinksuchthings。AllIknowis，Godsaysawomanmustbemarriedbeforeshe——beforeshehasanychildren。Andyourmotherwasn”t。”Susanshookherhead。“Iguessyoudon”tunderstandanybetterthanIdo——really。”
“No，Idon”t，“confessedRuth。“ButI”dliketoseeanymanmorethankissmeorputhisarmroundmewithoutourhavingbeenmarried。”
“But，“urgedSusan，“ifhekissedyou，wouldn”tthatbelikemarriage？“
“Somesayso，“admittedRuth。“ButI”mnotsostrict。Alittlekissingandthatoftenleadsamantopropose。”Susanreflectedagain。“Itallsoundslowandsneakingtome，“washerfinalverdict。“Idon”twanttohaveanythingtodowithit。ButI”msuremymotherwasagoodwoman。Itwasn”therfaultifshewasliedto，whenshelovedandbelieved。Andanybodywhoblamesherislowandbad。I”mgladIhaven”tgotanyfather，iffathershavetobemadetopromisebeforeeverybodyorelsethey”llnotkeeptheirword。”
“Well，I”llnotargueaboutit，“saidRuth。“I”mtellingyouthewaythingsare。Thewomanhastotake_all_theblame。”Susanliftedherheadhaughtily。“I”dbegladtobeblamedbyanybodywhowaswickedenoughtobethatunjust。I”dnothaveanythingtodowithsuchpeople。”
“Thenyou”dlivealone。”
“No，Ishouldn”t。Therearelotsofpeoplewhoaregoodand——”
“That”swicked，Susan，“interruptedRuth。“AllgoodpeoplethinkasItellyoutheydo。”
“DoAuntFannyandUncleGeorgeblamemymother？“
“Ofcourse。Howcouldtheyhelpit，whenshe——”Ruthwascheckedbythegatheringlightningsinthoseviolet-grayeyes。
“But，“pursuedSusan，afterapause，“eveniftheywerewickedenoughtoblamemymother，theycouldn”tblameme。”
“Ofcoursenot，“declaredRuthwarmly。“Hasn”teverybodyalwaysbeensweetandkindtoyou？“
“Butlastnightyousaid——”
Ruthhidherface。“I”mashamedofwhatIsaidlastnight，“shemurmured。“I”vegot，Oh，sucha_nasty_disposition，Susie。”
“Butwhatyousaid——wasn”titso？“Ruthturnedawayherhead。
Susandrewalongsigh，soquietlythatRuthcouldnothaveheard。
“Youunderstand，“Ruthsaidgently，“everybodyfeelssorryforyouand——”
Susanfrownedstormily，“They”dbetterfeelsorryforthemselves。”
“Oh，Susie，dear，“criedRuth，impulsivelycatchingherhand，“weallloveyou，andmotherandfatherandI——we”llstandupforyouthrougheverything——”
“Don”tyou_dare_feelsorryforme！“Susancried，wrenchingherhandaway。
Ruth”seyesfilledwithtears。
“Youcan”tblameusbecauseeverybody——Youknow，Godsays，`Thesinsofthefathersshallbevisitedonthechildren——”“
“I”mdonewitheverybody，“criedSusan，risingandliftingherproudhead，“I”mdonewithGod。”
Ruthgavealowscreamandshuddered。Susanlookedrounddefiantly，asifsheexpectedaboltfromthebluetocomehurtlingthroughtheopenwindow。Buttheskyremainedserene，andthequiet，scentedbreezecontinuedtoplaywiththelacecurtains，andthebirdsonthebalconydidnotsuspendtheirchatteringcourtship。ThislackofimmediateeffectfromherdeclarationofwaruponmanandGodwasencouraging。Thelastofthecrushed，cowedfeelingRuthhadinspiredthenightbeforedisappeared。Withasoulhaughtilyplumedandlookingdefiancefromtheviolet-grayeyes，Susanlefthercousinandbetookherselfdowntobreakfast。
Incommonwithmostchildren，shehadalwaysdreamedofamysteriousfateforherself，differentfromthecommonplaceroutinearoundher。Ruth”srevelations，farfromdauntingher，farfrommakingherfeellikecringingbeforetheworldingratitudeforitstoleranceofherbarsinister，seemedafascinatinglytragicconfirmationofherromanticlongingsandbeliefs。NodoubtitwasthedifferencefromthecommonlotthathadattractedSamtoher；andthisdifferencewouldmaketheirlovewhollyunlikethecommonplaceSutherlandwooingandwedding。Yes，hershadbeenamysteriousfate，andwouldcontinuetobe。Nora，anoldwomannow，hadoftenrelatedinherpresencehowDoctorStevenshadbroughthertolifewhenshelayapparently，indeedreally，deadupontheupstairssitting-roomtable——DoctorStevensandNora”sownprayers。Anextraordinarybirth，indefianceofthelawsofGodandman；anextraordinaryresurrection，indefianceofthelawsofnature——yes，herswouldbealifesuperblydifferentfromthecommon。AndwhensheandSammarried，howgraciousandforgivingshewouldbetoallthosebad-heartedpeople；howshewouldshamethemfortheirevilthoughtsagainsthermotherandherself！
TheSusanLenoxwhosataloneatthelittletableinthedining-roomwindow，eatingbreadandbutterandhoneyinthecomb，wasapparentlythesameSusanLenoxwhohadtakenthreemealsadayinthatroomallthoseyears——was，indeed，actuallythesame，forcharacterisnotanovernightcreation。YetitwasanamazinglydifferentSusanLenox，too。Thefirstcrisishadcome；shehadbeenputtothetest；andshehadnotcollapsedinweaknessbuthadstooderectinstrength。
AfterbreakfastshewentdownMainStreetandatCrookedCreekAvenuetooktheturningforthecemetery。ShesoughttheWarhamplot，onthewesternslopenearthequietbrook。Therewasaclumpofcedarsateachcorneroftheplot；nearthelargestofthemwerethreelittlegraves——thethreedeadchildrenofGeorgeandFanny。Intheshadowoftheclumpandnearestthebrookwasafourthgraveapartand，tothegirl，nowthrillinglymysterious：
LORELLALENOX
BORNMAY9，1859
DIEDJULY17，1879
Twentyyearsold！Susan”stearsscaldedhereyes。OnlyalittleolderthanhercousinRuthwasnow——Ruthwhooftenseemedtoher，andtoeverybody，youngerthanherself。“Andshewasgood——I
knowshewasgood！“thoughtSusan。“_He_wasbad，andthepeoplewhotookhispartagainstherwerebad。But_she_wasgood！“
ShestartedasSam”svoice，gayandlight，soundeddirectlybehindher。“Whatareyoudoinginagraveyard？“criedhe。
“Howdidyoufindme？“sheasked，palingandflushingandpalingagain。
“I”vebeenfollowingyoueversinceyoulefthome。”
Hemighthaveaddedthathedidnottrytoovertakeheruntiltheywerewherepeoplewouldbeleastlikelytosee。
“Whosegravesarethose？“hewenton，cuttingacrossaplotandsteppingonseveralgravestojoinher。
Shewasgazingathermotherssimpleheadstone。Hisglancefollowedhers，heread。
“Oh——begpardon，“hesaidconfusedly。“Ididn”tsee。”
Sheturnedherseriousgazefromtheheadstonetohisface，whichheryoungimaginationtransfigured。“Youknow——abouther？“
sheasked。
“I——I——I”veheard，“heconfessed。“But——Susie，itdoesn”tamounttoanything。Ithappenedalongtimeago——andeverybody”sforgotten——and——”Hisstammeringfalsehoodsdiedawaybeforehersteadylook。“Howdidyoufindout？“
“Someonejusttoldme，“repliedshe。“Andtheysaidyou”dneverrespectormarryagirlwhohadnofather。No——don”tdeny——please！Ididn”tbelieveit——notafterwhatwehadsaidtoeachother。”
Sam，redandshiftinguneasily，couldnotevenkeephisdowncasteyesuponthesamespotofground。
“Yousee，“shewenton，sweetandgrave，“theydon”tunderstandwhatlovemeans——dothey？“
“Iguessnot，“mutteredhe，completelyunnerved。
Why，howseriouslythegirlhadtakenhimandhiswords——suchafewwordsandnotatalldefinite！No，hedecided，itwasthekiss。Hehadheardofgirlssoinnocentthattheythoughtakissmeantthesameasbeingmarried。Hegothimselftogetheraswellashecouldandlookedather。
“But，Susie，“hesaid，“you”retooyoungforanythingdefinite——andI”mnothalfwaythroughcollege。”
“Iunderstand，“saidshe。“ButyouneednotbeafraidI”llchange。”
Shewassosweet，somagnetic，socompellingthatinspiteofthefrownsofprudenceheseizedherhand。Athertouchheflungprudencetothewinds。“Iloveyou，“hecried；andputtinghisarmaroundher，hetriedtokissher。Shegentlybutstronglyrepulsedhim。“Whynot，dear？“hepleaded。“Youloveme——don”tyou？“
“Yes，“shereplied，herhonesteyesshininguponhis。“Butwemustwaituntilwe”remarried。Idon”tcaresomuchfortheothers，butI”dnotwantUncleGeorgetofeelIhaddisgracedhim。”
“Why，there”snoharminakiss，“pleadedhe。
“Kissingyouis——different，“shereplied。“It”s——it”s——marriage。”
Heunderstoodherinnocencethatfranklyassumedmarriagewhereasophisticatedgirlwould，intheguiltofdesigningthoughts，haveshrunkinshamefromhowevervaguelysuggestingsuchathing。Herealizedtothefullhisperil。“I”madamnfool，“hesaidtohimself，“tohangabouther。ButsomehowIcan”thelpit——Ican”t！“Andthetruthwas，helovedherasmuchasaboyofhisageiscapableofloving，andhewouldhavegoneonandmarriedherbutforthesnobbishnesssmearedonhimbytheprovincialismofthesmalltownandburnedinbythetoadyismofhisfashionablecollegeset。Ashelookedatherhesawbeautybeyondanyhehadeverseenelsewhereandasweetnessandhonestythatmadehimashamedbeforeher。“No，Icouldn”tharmher，“hetoldhimself。“I”mnotsuchadogasthat。Butthere”snoharminlovingherandkissingherandmakingherashappyasit”srighttobe。”
“Don”tbemean，Susan，“hebegged，tearsinhiseyes。“Ifyouloveme，you”llletmekissyou。”
Andsheyielded，andtheshockofthekisssetbothtotrembling。Itappealedtohisvanity，itheightenedhisownagitationstoseehowpaleshehadgrownandhowherroundedbosomroseandfellinthewildtumultofheremotions。“Oh，I
can”tdowithoutseeingyou，“shecried。“AndAuntFannyhasforbiddenme。”
“Ithoughtso！“exclaimedhe。“IdidwhatIcouldlastnighttothrowthemoffthetrack。IfRuthhadonlyknownwhatIwasthinkingaboutallthetime。Wherewereyou？“
“Upstairs——onthebalcony。”
“Ifeltit，“hedeclared。“AndwhenshesanglovesongsIcouldhardlykeepfromrushinguptoyou。Susie，we_must_seeeachother。”
“Icancomehere，almostanyday。”
“Butpeople”dsoonfindout——andthey”dsayallsortsofthings。
Andyouruncleandauntwouldhear。”
Therewasnodisputinganythingsoobvious。
“Couldn”tyoucomedowntonight，aftertheothersareinbedandthehouseisquiet？“hesuggested。
Shehesitatedbeforethedeception，thoughshefeltthatherfamilyhadforfeitedtherighttocontrolher。Butlove，beingthesupremenecessity，conquered。“Forafewminutes，“sheconceded。
Shehadbeenabsorbed；buthiseyes，keptalertbyhisconventionalsoul，hadseenseveralpeopleatadistanceobservingwithoutseemingtodoso。“Wemustseparate，“henowsaid。“Yousee，Susie，wemustn”tbegossipedabout。Youknowhowdeterminedtheyaretokeepusapart。”
“Yes——yes，“sheeagerlyagreed。“Willyougofirst，orshallI？“
“Yougo——thewayyoucame。I”lljumpthebrookdownwhereit”snarrowandcutacrossandintoourplacebythebackway。Whattimetonight？“
“Arthur”scoming，“reflectedSusiealoud。“Ruth”llnotlethimstaylate。She”llbesleepyandwillgostraighttobed。Abouthalfpastten。IfI”mnotonthefrontveranda——no，thesideveranda——byeleven，you”llknowsomethinghasprevented。”
“Butyou”llsurelycome？“
“I”llcome。”Anditboththrilledandalarmedhimtoseehowmuchinearnestshewas。Buthelookedloveintoherlovingeyesandwentaway，toointoxicatedtocarewhitherthisadventurewasleadinghim。
Atdinnershefeltshewasnolongerapartofthisfamily。Weretheynotallpityingandlookingdownonherintheirhearts？
Shewaslikeadeformedpersonwhohasalwaysimaginedtheconsiderationhehashadwasnaturalandequal，andsuddenlydiscoversthatitispityforhisdeformity。Shenowacutelyfeltheraunt”s，hercousin”s，dislike；andheruncle”sgentlenesswasnotlessgalling。Inhersoftlyroundedyouthfulfacetherewasrevealeddefinitelyforthefirsttimeanunderlyingexpressionofstrength，ofwhatisoftenconfusedwithitsfeeblecounterfeit，obstinacy——thatpowertoresistcircumstanceswhichmakestheunusualandthefirmcharacter。
Theyoungmobilityofherfeaturessuggestedtheeasyswayingofthebabysaplinginthegentlestbreeze。Singularlyatvariancewithitwasthisexpressionoftenacity。Suchanexpressioninthefaceoftheyounginfalliblyforecastsanagitatedandagitatinglife。ItseemedamazinglyoutofplaceinSusanbecausetheretoforeshehadneverbeenputtothetestinanybutunnotedtriflesandsohadgiventheimpressionthatshewasasdocileasshewasfearfulofgivingannoyanceorpainandindifferenttohavingherownway。Thosewhohavethistemperamentofstrengthencasedingentlenessareinvariablymisunderstood。Whentheyassertthemselves，thoughtheyareintheparticularinstancewhollyright，theyareregardedaswhollyandoutrageouslywrong。Lifedealshardlywiththem，punishesthemforthemistakennotionofthemselvestheyhavethroughforbearanceandgentlenessofheartpermittedanunobservantworldtoform。
Susanspenttheafternoononthebalconybeforeherwindow，readingandsewing——or，rather，dreamingoverfirstabook，thenadress。Whensheenteredthedining-roomatsuppertimetheotherswerealreadyseated。Shesawinstantlythatsomethinghadoccurred——somethingominousforher。Mrs。Warhamgaveherapenetrating，severelookandloweredhereyes；Ruthwasgazingsullenlyatherplate。Warham”sglancewassternandreproachful。ShetookherplaceoppositeRuth，andthemealwaseateninsilence。Ruthleftthetablefirst。NextMrs。Warhamroseandsaying，“Susan，whenyou”vefinished，Iwishtoseeyouinthesitting-roomupstairs，“sweptinsolemndignityfromtheroom。Susanroseatoncetofollow。Asshewaspassingheruncleheputouthishandanddetainedher。
“Ihopeitwasonlyafoolishgirl”spieceofnonsense，“saidhewithanattemptathiswontedkindliness。“AndIknowitwon”toccuragain。Butwhenyourauntsaysthingsyouwon”tliketohear，rememberthatyoubroughtthisonyourselfandthatshelovesyouaswealldoandisthinkingonlyofyourgood。”
“Whatisit，UncleGeorge？“criedSusan，amazed。“WhathaveIdone？“
Warhamlookedsternlygrieved。“Brownie，“hereproached，“youmustn”tdeceive。Gotoyouraunt。”
Shefoundherauntseatedstifflyintheliving-room，herhandsfoldeduponherstomach。Sogradualhadbeenthecrucialmiddle-lifechangeinFannythatnoonehadnotedit。ThiseveningSusan，becomemorbidlyacute，suddenlyrealizedthecontrastbetweenthesevere，uncertain-temperedauntoftodayandtheamiable，altogetherandalwaysgentleauntoftwoyearsbefore。
“Whatisit，aunt？“shesaid，feelingasifshewerebeforeastrangerandanenemy。
“Thewholetownistalkingaboutyourdisgracefuldoingsthismorning，“Ruth”smotherrepliedinahardvoice。
ThecolorleapedinSusan”scheeks。
“YesterdayIforbadeyoutoseeSamWrightagain。Andalreadyyoudisobey。”
“IdidnotsayIwouldnotseehimagain，“repliedSusan。
“Ithoughtyouwereanhonest，obedientgirl，“criedFanny，thehighshrillnotesinhervoiceraspinguponthesensitive，thenowmorbidlysensitive，Susan。“Instead——youslipawayfromthehouseandmeetayoungman——andpermithimtotake_liberties_
withyou。”
Susanbracedherself。“Ididnotgotothecemeterytomeethim，“shereplied；andthatnewor，rather，newlyrevivedtenacitywasstronginhereyes，inthesetofhersweetmouth。
“Hesawmeonthewayandfollowed。Ididlethimkissme——once。
ButIhadtherightto。”
“Youhavedisgracedyourself——andusall。”
“Wearegoingtobemarried。”
“Idon”twanttohearsuchfoolishtalk！“criedMrs。Warhamviolently。“Ifyouhadanysense，you”dknowbetter。”
“HeandIdonotfeelasyoudoaboutmymother，“saidthegirlwithquietdignity。
Mrs。Warhamshiveredbeforethisfling。“Whotoldyou？“shedemanded。
“Itdoesn”tmatter；Iknow。”
“Well，miss，sinceyouknow，thenIcantellyouthatyouruncleandIrealizeyou”regoingthewayyourmotherwent。Andthewholetownthinksyou”vegonealready。They”reallsaying，`I
toldyouso！Itoldyouso！Likehermother！”“Mrs。Warhamwasweepinghystericaltearsoffury。“Thewholetown！Andit”llreflectonmyRuth。Oh，youmiserablegirl！Whateverpossessedmetotakepityonyou！“
Susan”shandsclutcheduntilthenailssunkintothepalms。Sheshutherteethtogether，turnedtofly。
“Wait！“commandedMrs。Warham。“Wait，Itellyou！“
Susanhaltedinthedoorway，butdidnotturn。
“YouruncleandIhavetalkeditover。”
“Oh！“criedSusan。
Mrs。Warham”seyesglistened。“Yes，hehaswakenedupatlast。
There”sonethingheisn”tsoftabout——”
“You”veturnedhimagainstme！“criedthegirldespairingly。
“Youmean_you_haveturnedhimagainstyou，“retortedheraunt。
“Anyhow，youcan”twheedlehimthistime。He”sasbentasIam。
Andyoumustpromiseusthatyouwon”tseeSamagain。”
Apause。ThenSusansaid，“Ican”t。”
“Thenwe”llsendyouawaytoyourUncleZeke”s。It”squietoutthereandyou”llhaveachancetothinkthingsover。AndI
reckonhe”llwatchyou。He”sneverforgivenyourmother。Now，willyoupromise？“
“No，“saidSusancalmly。“Youhavewickedthoughtsaboutmymother，andyouarebeingwickedtome——youandRuth。Oh，I
understand！“
“Don”tyoudarestandthereandliethatway！“ravedMrs。
Warham。“I”llgiveyoutonighttothinkaboutit。Ifyoudon”tpromise，youleavethishouse。Yourunclehasbeenweakwhereyouwereconcerned，butthiscaperofyourshasbroughthimtohissenses。We”llnothaveyoualoosecharacter——andyourcousin”slifespoiledbyit。Firstthingweknow，norespectableman”llmarryher，either。”
Frombetweenthegirl”sshutteethissuedacry。Shedartedacrossthehall，lockedherselfinherroom。
CHAPTERVI
SAMdidnotwaituntilArthurSinclairleft，but，allardorandimpatience，stoleinattheWarhams”frontgateatteno”clock。
Hedroppedtothegrassbehindaclumpoflilacs，andtocalmhisnervesandtomakethetimepassmorequickly，smokedacigarette，keepingitslightedendcarefullyhiddeninthehollowofhishand。Hewasnottwentyfeetaway，wasseeingandhearing，whenArthurkissedRuthgoodnight。Helaughedtohimself。“HowdisappointedshelookedlastnightwhenshesawI
wasn”tgoingtodothat！“WhatacharmerSusiemustbewhenthethoughtofhermadetheideaofkissingasprettyagirlasRuthuninteresting，almostdistasteful！
Sinclairdeparted；thelightsinparlorandhallwentout；
presentlylightappearedthroughthechinksinsomeofthesecond-storyshutters。Thenfollowedthree-quartersofanhourofincreasingtension。Thetensionwouldhavebeenevengreaterhadheseentheyoungladygoingleisurelyaboutherpreparationsforbed。ForRuthwasoftheorderly，precisewomenwhoarecreatedtofosterthevirtueofpatienceinthoseaboutthem。Ittookhernearlyaslongtodressforbedasforaparty。Shedidherhairupincurlpaperswiththeutmostcare；
shewashedandrinsedandgreasedherfaceandneckandgavethemathoroughmassage。Sheshookoutandcarefullyhungorfoldedorputtoaireachseparategarment。Sheexaminedhersilkstockingsforholes，foundone，darneditwithaneatnessrivalingthatofa_stoppeur_。Sheremovedfromherdressingtableandputawayindrawerseverythingthatwasoutofplace。
Sheclosedeachdrawertightly，closedandlockedtheclosets，lookedunderthebed，turnedoffthelightsoverthedressingtable。Shecompletedhertoiletwithaslowwashingofherteeth，alongsprayingofherthroat，andadeliberate，thoroughgoingdrippingofboracicacidintoeacheyetokeepandimproveitsclearnessandbrilliancy。Shesatonthebed，reflectedonwhatshehaddone，toassureherselfthatnothinghadbeenomitted。Afteraslowlookaroundshedrewoffherbedroomslippers，setthemcarefullysidebysideneartheheadofthebed。Shefoldedhernightgownneatlyaboutherlegs，thrustthemdownintothebed。Againshelookedslowly，searchingly，abouttheroomtomakeabsolutelysureshehadforgottennothing，hadputeverythinginperfectorder。Onceinbed，shehatedtogetout；yetifsheshouldrecallanyomission，howeverslight，shewouldbeunabletosleepuntilshehadcorrectedit。Finally，sureasfalliblehumanitycanbe，sheturnedoutthelastlight，laydown——wentinstantlytosleep。
ItwashardlyaquarterofanhourafterthevanishingofthatlastraywhenSam，standingnowwithheartbeatingfastandalumpofexpectancy，perhapsoftrepidation，too，inhisthroat，sawafigureissuefromthefrontdoorandmoveroundtothesideveranda。Hemadeadetouronthelawn，soastokeepoutofviewbothfromhouseandstreet，cameuptotheveranda，calledtohersoftly。
“Canyougetovertherail？“askedsheinthesamelowtone。
“Let”sgobacktothesummerhouse，“urgedhe。
“No。Comeuphere，“sheinsisted。“Becareful。Thewindowsaboveareopen。”
Heclimbedtherailnoiselesslyandmadeanimpetuousmoveforherhand。Shedrewback。“No，Samdear，“shesaid。“Iknowit”sfoolish。ButI”veaninstinctagainstit——andwemustn”t。”
Shespokesogentlythathepersistedandpleaded。Itwassometimebeforeherealizedhowmuchfirmnesstherewasunderhergentleness。Shewassoafraidofmakinghimcross；yethealsosawthatshewouldwithstandatanycost。Heplacedhimselfbesideheronthewickerlounge，sittingclose，hischeekalmostagainsthers，thattheymightheareachotherwithoutspeakingaboveawhisper。Afteroneofthosesilenceswhicharethepeculiardelightoflovers，shedrewalongbreathandsaid：
“I”vegottogoaway，Sam。Ishan”tseeyouagainforalongtime。”
“Theyheardaboutthismorning？They”resendingyouaway？“
“No——I”mgoing。TheyfeelthatI”madisgraceandadrag。SoI
can”tstay。”
“But——you”ve_got_tostay！“protestedSam。Inwildalarmhesuspectedshewaspreparingtomakehimelopewithher——andhedidnotknowtowhatlengthoffollyhisinfatuationmightwhirlhim。“You”venoplacetogo，“heurged。
“I”llfindaplace，“saidshe。
“Youmustn”t——youmustn”t，Susie！Why，you”reonlyseventeen——andhavenoexperience。”
“I”ll_get_experience，“saidshe。“Nothingcouldbesobadasstayinghere。Can”tyouseethat？“
Hecouldnot。Likesomanyofthechildrenoftherich，hehadnotraceofovernicesenseofself-respect，havingbeenlyingandtoadyingallhislifetoafatherwhousedthepowerofhiswealthathomenoless，rathermore，thanabroad。Buthevaguelyrealizedwhatdelicacyoffeelinglaybehindherstatementofherposition；andhedidnotdareexpresshisrealopinion。Hereturnedtothemainpoint。“You”vesimplygottoputupwithitforthepresent，Susie，“heinsisted。“But，then，ofcourse，you”renotserious。”
“Yes。Iamgoing。”
“You”llthinkitover，andseeI”mright，dear。”
“I”mgoingtonight。”
“Tonight！“hecried。
“Sh-h！“
Samlookedapprehensivelyaround。Bothbreathedsoftlyandlistenedwithstrainingears。Hisexclamationhadnotbeenloud，butthesilencewasprofound。“Iguessnobodyheard，“hefinallywhispered。“Youmustn”tgo，Susie。”Hecaughtherhandandheldit。“Iloveyou，andIforbidit。”
“I_must_go，dear，“answeredshe。“I”vedecidedtotakethemidnightboatforCincinnati。”
Inthehalfdarknesshegazedinstupefactionather——thisgirlofonlyseventeencalmlyresolvinguponandplanninganadventuresodaring，soimpossible。AshehadbeenbornandbredinthatwesterncountrywheretheverychildrenhavemoreindependencethanthecarefullytamedgrownpeopleoftheEast，heoughttohavebeenpreparedforalmostanything。Buthisfatherhadunderminedhiscourageandindependence；alsohisyearintheEasthadgivenhimsomewhatdifferentideasofwomen。Susan”sannouncementseemedincredible。Hewasgatheringhimselfforpouringoutafreshprotestwhenitflashedthroughhismind——Whynot？ShewouldgotoCincinnati。Hecouldfollowinafewdaysoraweek——andthen——
Well，atleasttheywouldbefreeandcouldhavemanyhappydaystogether。