visitedbygustsofresentmentagainstapassion,whichforcedhimtopaytheprice,eitherofhiscareer,orofhisself—respect;gusts,followedbyremorsethathecouldsoforonemomentregrethisloveforthattendercreature。ThefaceofLuciferwasnotmoredark,moretortured,thanMiltoun\'sfaceinthetwilightofthegrove,abovethosekingdomsoftheworld,forwhichhisambitionandhisconsciencefought。Hethrewhimselfdownamongthetrees;andstretchingouthisarms,bychancetouchedabeetletryingtocrawloverthegrasslesssoil。Somebirdhadmaimedit。Hetookthelittlecreatureup。Thebeetletrulycouldnolongerwork,butitwassparedthefatelyingbeforehimself。Thebeetlewasnot,ashewouldbe,whenhispowerofmovementwasdestroyed,consciousofhisownwastedlife。Theworldwouldnotrollawaydownthere。Hewouldstillseehimselfcumberingtheground,whenhispowersweretaken,fromhim。Thisthoughtwastorture。Whyhadhebeensufferedtomeether,toloveher,andtobelovedbyher？Whathadmadehimsocertainfromthefirstmoment,ifshewerenotmeantforhim？Ifhelivedtobeahundred,hewouldnevermeetanother。Why,becauseofhislove,mustheburythewillandforceofaman？IftherewerenomorecoherenceinGod\'sschemethanthis,lethimtoobeincoherent！
Lethimholdauthority,andliveoutsideauthority！Whystiflehispowersforthesakeofacoherencewhichdidnotexist！Thatwouldindeedbemadnessgreaterthanthatofamadworld！
Therewasnoanswertohisthoughtsinthestillnessofthegrove,unlessitwerethecooingofadove,orthefaintthuddingofthesheepissuingagainintosunlight。ButslowlythatstillnessstoleintoMiltoun\'sspirit。\"Isitlikethisinthegrave？\"hethought。
\"Aretheboughsofthosetreesthedarkearthoverme？Andthesoundinthemthesoundthedeadhearwhenflowersaregrowing,andthewindpassingthroughthem？Andisthefeelofthisearthhowitfeelstolielookingupforeveratnothing？Islifeanythingbutanightmare,adream;andisnotthisthereality？Andwhymyfury,myinsignificantflame,blowinghereandthere,whenthereisreallynowind,onlyashroudofstillair,andtheseflowersofsunlightthathavebeendroppedonme！Whynotletmyspiritsleep,insteadofeatingitselfawaywithrage;whynotresignmyselfatoncetowaitforthesubstance,ofwhichthisisbuttheshadow！\"
Andhelayscarcelybreathing,lookingupattheunmovingbranchessettingwiththeirdarknessthepearlsofthesky。
\"Isnotpeaceenough？\"hethought。\"Isnotloveenough？CanInotbereconciled,likeawoman？Isnotthatsalvation,andhappiness？
Whatisalltherest,but\'soundandfury,signifyingnothing？\"
Andasthoughafraidtolosehisholdofthatthought,hegotupandhurriedfromthegrove。
Thewholewidelandscapeoffieldandwood,cutbythepaleroads,wasglimmeringundertheafternoonsun,Herewasnowild,wind—sweptland,gleamingredandpurple,andguardedbythegreyrocks;nohomeofthewinds,andthewildgods。Itwasallsereneandsilver—
golden。Inplaceoftheshrillwailingpipeofthehuntingbuzzard—
hawkshalflostupinthewind,invisiblelarkswerelettingfallhymnstotranquillity;andeventhesea——noadventuringspiritsweepingtheshorewithitswing——seemedtolierestingbythesideoftheland。
CHAPTERXV
WhenontheafternoonofthatsamedayMiltoundidnotcome,allthechillydoubtswhichhispresencealonekeptaway,crowdedthickandfastintothemindofoneonlytoopronetodistrustherownhappiness。Itcouldnotlast——howcouldit？
Hisnatureandherownweresofarapart！Eveninthatgivingofherselfwhichhadbeensuchhappiness,shehadyetdoubted;fortherewassomuchinhimthatwastohermysterious。Allthathelovedinpoetryandnature,hadinitsomethingcraggyandculminating。Thesoftandfiery,thesubtleandharmonious,seemedtoleavehimcold。
Hehadnoparticularloveforallthosesimplenaturalthings,birds,bees,animals,trees,andflowers,thatseemedtoherpreciousanddivine。
Thoughitwasnotyetfouro\'clockshewasalreadybeginningtodrooplikeaflowerthatwantswater。Butshesatdowntoherpiano,resolutely,tillteacame;playingonandonwithaspiritonlyhalfpresent,theotherhalfofherwanderingintheTown,seekingforMiltoun。Afterteashetriedfirsttoread,thentosew,andoncemorecamebacktoherpiano。Theclockstrucksix;andasifitslaststrokehadbrokenthearmourofhermind,shefeltsuddenlysickwithanxiety。Whywashesolong？Butshekeptonplaying,turningthepageswithouttakinginthenotes,hauntedbytheideathathemightagainhavefallenill。Shouldshetelegraph？Whatgood,whenshecouldnottellintheleastwherehemightbe？Andalltheunreasoningterrorofnotknowingwherethelovedoneis,besethersothatherhands,insheernumbness,droppedfromthekeys。Unabletokeepstill,now,shewanderedfromwindowtodoor,outintothelittlehall,andbackhastilytothewindow。Overheranxietybroodedadarkness,compoundedofvaguegrowingfears。Whatifitweretheend？Whatifhehadchosenthisasthemostmercifulwayofleavingher？Butsurelyhewouldneverbesocruel！Closeontheheelsofthistoopainfulthoughtcamereaction;andshetoldherselfthatshewasafool。HewasattheHouse;somethingquiteordinarywaskeepinghim。Itwasabsurdtobeanxious！Shewouldhavetogetusedtothisnow。Tobeadragonhimwouldbedreadful。Soonerthanthatshewouldrather——yes——ratherhenevercameback！Andshetookupherbook,determinedtoreadquietlytillhecame。Butthemomentshesatdownherfearsreturnedwithredoubledforce—thecoldsicklyhorriblefeelingofuncertainty,oftheknowledgethatshecoulddonothingbutwaittillshewasrelievedbysomethingoverwhichshehadnocontrol。Andinthesuperstitionthattostaythereinthewindowwhereshecouldseehimcome,waskeepinghimfromher,shewentintoherbedroom。Fromthereshecouldwatchthesunsetcloudswine—darkovertheriver。Alittletalkingwindshiveredalongthehouses;theduskbegancreepingin。Shewouldnotturnonthelight,unwillingtoadmitthatitwasreallygettinglate,butbegantochangeherdress,lingeringdesperatelyovereverylittledetailofhertoilette,derivingtherefromafaint,mysteriouscomfort,tryingtomakeherselffeelbeautiful。Fromsheerdreadofgoingbackbeforehecame,sheletherhairfall,thoughitwasquitesmoothandtidy,andbeganbrushingit。Suddenlyshethoughtwithhorrorofhereffortsatadornment——byspeciallypreparingforhim,shemustseempresumptuoustoFate。Atanylittlesoundshestoppedandstoodlistening——saveforherhairandeyes,aswhitefromheadtofootasadoublenarcissusflowerinthedusk,bendingtowardssomefainttuneplayedtoitsomewhereoftinthefields。Butallthoselittlesoundsceased,oneafteranother——theyhadmeantnothing;andeachtime,herspiritreturning——withinthepalewallsoftheroom,beganoncemoretoinhabitherlingeringfingers。
Duringthathourinherbedroomshelivedthroughyears。Itwasdarkwhensheleftit。
CHAPTERXVI
WhenMiltounatlastcameitwaspastnineo\'clock。
Silent,butquiveringallover;sheclungtohiminthehall;andthispassionofemotion,withoutsoundtogiveitsubstance,affectedhimprofoundly。Howterriblysensitiveandtendershewas！Sheseemedtohavenoarmour。Butthoughsostirredbyheremotion,hewasnonethelessexasperated。Sheincarnatedatthatmomentthelifetowhichhemustnowresignhimself——alifeofunendingtenderness,consideration,andpassivity。
Foralongtimehecouldnotbringhimselftospeakofhisdecision。
Everylookofhereyes,everymovementofherbody,seemedpleadingwithhimtokeepsilence。ButinMiltoun\'scharactertherewasanelementofrigidity,whichneversufferedhimtodivergefromanobjectiveoncedetermined。
Whenhehadfinishedtellingher,sheonlysaid:
\"Whycan\'twegooninsecret？\"
Andhefeltwithasortofhorrorthathemustbeginhisstruggleoveragain。Hegotup,andthrewopenthewindow。Theskywasdarkabovetheriver;thewindhadrisen。Thatrestlessmurmuration,andthewidthofthenightwithitsscatteredstars,seemedtocomerushingathisface。Hewithdrewfromit,andleaningonthesilllookeddownather。Whatflower—likedelicacyshehad！Thereflashedacrosshimthememoryofadroopingblossom,which,intheSpring,hehadseenherthrowintotheflames;withthewords:\"I
can\'tbearflowerstofade,Ialwayswanttoburnthem。\"Hecouldseeagainthosewaxenpetalsyieldtothefierceclutchofthelittleredcreepingsparks,andtheslenderstalkquivering,andglowing,andwrithingtoblacknesslikealivething。And,distraught,hebegan:
\"Ican\'tlivealie。WhatrighthaveItolead,ifIcan\'tfollow？
I\'mnotlikeourfriendCourtierwhobelievesinLiberty。Ineverhave,Inevershall。Liberty？WhatisLiberty？Butonlythosewhoconformtoauthorityhavetherighttowieldauthority。Amanisachurlwhoenforceslaws,whenhehimselfhasnotthestrengthtoobservethem。Iwillnotbeoneofwhomitcanbesaid:\'Hecanruleothers,himself————！\"
\"Noonewillknow。\"
Miltounturnedaway。
\"Ishallknow,\"hesaid;buthesawclearlythatshedidnotunderstandhim。Herfacehadastrange,brooding,shut—awaylook,asthoughhehadfrightenedher。Andthethoughtthatshecouldnotunderstand,angeredhim。
Hesaid,stubbornly:\"No,Ican\'tremaininpubliclife。\"
\"Butwhathasittodowithpolitics？It\'ssuchalittlething。\"
\"Ifithadbeenalittlethingtome,shouldIhaveleftyouatMonkland,andspentthosefiveweeksinpurgatorybeforemyillness？
Alittlething！\"
Sheexclaimedwithsuddenfire:
\"Circumstancesayethelittlething;it\'slovethat\'sthegreatthing。\"
Miltounstaredather,forthefirsttimeunderstandingthatshehadaphilosophyasdeepandstubbornashisown。Butheansweredcruelly:
\"Well！thegreatthinghasconqueredme！\"
Andthenhesawherlookingathim,asif,seeingintotherecessesofhissoul,shehadmadesomeghastlydiscovery。Thelookwassomournful,souncannilyintentthatheturnedawayfromit。
\"Perhapsitisalittlething,\"hemuttered;\"Idon\'tknow。Ican\'tseemyway。I\'velostmybearings;ImustfindthemagainbeforeI
candoanything。\"
Butasifshehadnotheard,ornottakeninthesenseofhiswords,shesaidagain:
\"Oh！don\'tletusalteranything;Iwon\'teverwantwhatyoucan\'tgive。\"
Andthisstubbornness,whenhewasdoingtheverythingthatwouldgivehimtoherutterly,seemedtohimunreasonable。
\"I\'vehaditoutwithmyself,\"hesaid。\"Don\'tlet\'stalkaboutitanymore。\"
Again,withasortofdryanguish,shemurmured:
\"No,no！Letusgoonasweare！\"
Feelingthathehadborneallhecould,Miltounputhishandsonhershoulders,andsaid:\"That\'senough！\"
Then,insuddenremorse,heliftedher,andclaspedhertohim。
Butshestoodinertinhisarms,hereyesclosed,notreturninghiskisses。
CHAPTERXVII
OnthelastdaybeforeParliamentrose,LordValleys,withalightheart,mountedhishorseforagallopintheRow。Thoughshewasabloodmareherodeherwithaplainsnaffle,havingthehorsemanshipofonewhohashuntedfromtheageofseven,andbeenfortwentyyearsaColonelofYeomanry。Greetingaffablyeveryoneheknew,hemaintainedafrankdemeanouronallsubjects,especiallyofGovernmentpolicy,secretlyenjoyingthesurmisesandprognostications,sopleasantlywideofthemark,andthewayquestionsandhintsperishedbeforehissphinx—likecandour。HespokecheerilytooofMiltoun,whowas\'allrightagain,\'and\'burningforthefray\'whentheHousemetagainintheautumn。AndhechaffedLordMalvezinabouthiswife。Ifanything——hesaid——couldmakeBertietakeaninterestinpolitics,itwouldbeshe。Hehadtwocapitalgallops,beingwellknowntothepolice:Thedaywasbright,andhewassorrytoturnhome。FallinginwithHarbinger,heaskedhimtocomebacktolunch。Therehadseemedsomethingdifferentlately,analmostmoroselook,aboutyoungHarbinger;andhiswife\'sdisquietingwordsaboutBarbaracamebacktoLordValleyswithashock。Hehadseenlittleofthechildlately,andinthegeneralclearingupofthistimeofyearhadforgottenallaboutthematter。
Agatha,whowasstillstayingatValleysHousewithlittleAnn,waitingtotraveluptoScotlandwithhermother,wasout,andtherewasnooneatlunchexceptLadyValleysandBarbaraherself。
Conversationflagged;fortheyoungpeoplewereextremelysilent,LadyValleyswasconsideringthedraftofareportwhichhadtobesettledbeforesheleft,andLordValleyshimselfwasrathercarefullywatchinghisdaughter。ThenewsthatLordMiltounwasinthestudycameasasurprise,andsomewhatofarelieftoall。Toanexhortationtoluringhimintolunch;theservantrepliedthatLordMiltounhadlunched,andwouldwait。
\"Doesheknowthere\'snoonehere？\"
\"Yes,mylady。\"
LadyValleyspushedbackherplate,androse:
\"Oh,well！\"shesaid,\"I\'vefinished。\"
LordValleysalsogotup,andtheywentouttogether,leavingBarbara,whohadrisen,lookingdoubtfullyatthedoor。
LordValleyshadrecentlybeentoldofthenursingepisode,andhadreceivedthenewswiththedubiousairofonehearingsomethingaboutaneccentricperson,which,heardaboutanyoneelse,couldhavehadbutonesignificance。IfEustacehadbeenanormalyoungmanhisfatherwouldhaveshruggedhisshoulder\'s,andthought:\"Oh,well！
Thereitis！\"Asitwas,hehadliterallynotknownwhattothink。
Andnow,crossingthesaloonwhichintervenedbetweenthedining—roomandthestudy,hesaidtohiswifeuneasily:
\"Isitthiswomanagain,Gertrude——orwhat？\"
LadyValleysansweredwithashrug:
\"Goodnessknows,mydear。\"
Miltounwasstandingintheembrasureofawindowabovetheterrace。
Helookedwell,andhisgreetingwasthesameasusual。
\"Well,mydearfellow,\"saidLordValleys,\"you\'reallrightagainevidently——what\'sthenews？\"
\"OnlythatI\'vedecidedtoresignmyseat。\"
LordValleysstared。
\"Whatonearthfor？\"
ButLadyValleys,withthegreaterquicknessofwomen,diviningalreadysomethingofthereason,hadflushedadeeppink。
\"Nonsense,mydear,\"shesaid;\"itcan\'tpossiblybenecessary,evenif————\"Recoveringherself,sheaddeddryly:
\"Giveussomereason。\"
\"ThereasonissimplythatI\'vejoinedmylifetoMrs。Noel\'s,andI
can\'tgoonasIam,livingalie。IfitwereknownIshouldobviouslyhavetoresignatonce。\"
\"GoodGod！\"exclaimedLordValleys。
LadyValleysmadearapidmovement。Inthefaceofwhatshefelttobeareallyseriouscrisisbetweenthesetwoutterlydifferentcreaturesoftheothersex,herhusbandandherson,shehaddroppedhermaskandbecomeagenuinewoman。Unconsciouslybothmenfeltthischange,andinspeaking,turnedtowardsher。
\"Ican\'targueit,\"saidMiltoun;\"Iconsidermyselfboundinhonour。\"
\"Andthen？\"sheasked。
LordValleys,withanoteofrealfeeling,interjected:
\"ByHeaven！Ididthinkyouputyourcountryaboveyourprivateaffairs。\"
\"Geoff！\"saidLadyValleys。
ButLordValleyswenton:
\"No,Eustace,I\'moutoftouchwithyourviewofthingsaltogether。
Idon\'tevenbegintounderstandit。\"
\"Thatistrue,\"saidMiltoun。
\"Listentome,bothofyou！\"saidLadyValleys:\"Youtwoarealtogetherdifferent;andyoumustnotquarrel。Iwon\'thavethat。
Now,Eustace,youareourson,andyouhavegottobekindandconsiderate。Sitdown,andlet\'stalkitover。\"
Andmotioningherhusbandtoachair,shesatdownintheembrasureofawindow。Miltounremainedstanding。Visitedbyasuddendread,LadyValleyssaid:
\"Isit——you\'venot——thereisn\'tgoingtobeascandal？\"
Miltounsmiledgrimly。
\"Ishalltellthisman,ofcourse,butyoumaymakeyourmindseasy,Iimagine;Iunderstandthathisviewofmarriagedoesnotpermitofdivorceinanycasewhatever。\"
LadyValleyssighedwithanutterandundisguisedrelief。
\"Well,then,mydearboy,\"shebegan,\"evenifyoudofeelyoumusttellhim,thereissurelynoreasonwhyitshouldnototherwisebekeptsecret。\"
LordValleysinterruptedher:
\"Ishouldbegladifyouwouldpointouttheconnectionbetweenyourhonourandtheresignationofyourseat,\"hesaidstiffly。
Miltounshookhishead。
\"Ifyoudon\'tseealready,itwouldbeuseless。\"
\"Idonotsee。Thewholematteris——isunfortunate,buttogiveupyourwork,solongasthereisnoabsolutenecessity,seemstomefar—fetchedandabsurd。Howmanymenare,thereintowhoselivestherehasnotenteredsomesuchrelationatonetimeoranother？
Thisideawoulddisqualifyhalfthenation。\"Hiseyesseemedinthatcrisisbothtoconsultandtoavoidhiswife\'s,asthoughhewereatonceaskingherendorsementofhispointofview,andobservingtheproprieties。Andforamomentinthemidstofheranxiety,hersenseofhumourgotthebetterofLadyValleys。ItwassofunnythatGeoffshouldhavetogivehimselfaway;shecouldnotforthelifeofherhelpfixinghimwithhereyes。
\"Mydear,\"shemurmured,\"youunderestimatethree—quarters,attheveryleast！\"
ButLordValleys,confrontedwithdanger,wasgrowingsteadier。
\"Itpassesmycomprehension;\"hesaid,\"whyyoushouldwanttomixupsexandpoliticsatall。\"
Miltoun\'sanswercameveryslowly,asiftheconfessionwerehurtinghislips:
\"Thereis——forgivemeforusingtheword——suchathingasone\'sreligion。Idon\'thappentoregardlifeasdividedintopublicandprivatedepartments。Myvisionisgone——broken——Icanseenoobjectbeforemenowinpubliclife——nogoal——nocertainty。\"
LadyValleyscaughthishand:
\"Oh！mydear,\"shesaid,\"that\'stoodreadfullypuritanical！\"ButatMiltoun\'squeersmile,sheaddedhastily:\"Logical——Imean。\"
\"Consultyourcommonsense,Eustace,forgoodness\'sake,\"brokeinLordValleys。\"Isn\'tityoursimpledutytoputyourscruplesinyourpocket,anddothebestyoucanforyourcountrywiththepowersthathavebeengivenyou？\"
\"Ihavenocommonsense。\"
\"Inthatcase,ofcourse,itmaybejustaswellthatyoushouldleavepubliclife。\"
Miltounbowed。
\"Nonsense！\"criedLadyValleys。\"Youdon\'tunderstand,Geoffrey。
Iaskyouagain,Eustace,whatwillyoudoafterwards？\"
\"Idon\'tknow。\"
\"Youwilleatyourheartout。\"
\"Quitepossibly。\"
\"Ifyoucan\'tcometoareasonablearrangementwithyourconscience,\"
againbrokeinLordValleys,\"forHeaven\'ssakegiveherup,likeaman,andcutalltheseknots。\"
\"Ibegyourpardon,sir！\"saidMiltounicily。
LadyValleyslaidherhandonhisarm。\"Youmustallowusalittlelogictoo,mydear。Youdon\'tseriouslyimaginethatshewouldwishyoutothrowawayyourlifeforher？I\'mnotsuchabadjudgeofcharacterasthat。\"
ShestoppedbeforetheexpressiononMiltoun\'sface。
\"Yougotoofast,\"hesaid;\"Imaybecomeafreespirityet。\"
Tothissaying,whichseemedtohercrypticandsinister,LadyValleysdidnotknowwhattoanswer。
\"Ifyoufeel,asyousay,\"LordValleysbeganoncemore,\"thatthebottomhasbeenknockedoutofthingsforyoubythis——thisaffair,don\'t,forgoodness\'sake,doanythinginahurry。Wait！Goabroad！
Getyourbalanceback！You\'llfindthethingsettleitselfinafewmonths。Don\'tprecipitatematters;youcanmakeyourhealthanexcusetomisstheAutumnsession。\"
LadyValleyschimedineagerly\"Youreallyareseeingthethingoutofallproportion。Whatisalove—affair。Mydearboy,doyousupposeforamomentanyonewouldthinktheworseofyou,eveniftheyknew？Andreallynotasoulneedknow。\"
\"Ithasnotoccurredtometoconsiderwhattheywouldthink。\"
\"Then,\"criedLadyValleys,nettled,\"it\'ssimplyyourownpride。\"
\"Youhavesaid。\"
LordValleys,whohadturnedaway,spokeinanalmosttragicvoice\"IdidnotthinkthatonapointofhonourIshoulddifferfrommyson。\"
Catchingatthewordhonour,LadyValleyscriedsuddenly:
\"Eustace,promiseme,beforeyoudoanything,toconsultyourUncleDennis。\"
Miltounsmiled。
\"Thisbecomescomic,\"hesaid。
Atthatword,whichindeedseemedtothemquitewanton,LordandLadyValleysturnedontheirson,andthethreestoodstaring,perfectlysilent。Alittlenoisefromthedoorwayinterruptedthem。
CHAPTERXVIII
LeftbyherfatherandmothertothefurtherentertainmentofHarbinger,Barbarahadsaid:
\"Let\'shavecoffeeinhere,\"andpassedintothewithdrawingroom。
Exceptforthatoneevening,whentogetherbytheseawalltheystoodcontemplatingthepopulace,shehadnotbeenalonewithhimsincehekissedherundertheshelteroftheboxhedge。Andnow,afterthefirstmoment,shelookedathimcalmly,thoughinherbreasttherewasafluttering,asifanimprisonedbirdwerestrugglingeversofeeblyagainstthatsoftandsolidcage。HerlastjangledtalkwithCourtierhadleftanacheinherheart。Besides,didshenotknowallthatHarbingercouldgiveher？
Likeanymphpursuedbyafaunwhohelddominionoverthegroves,she,fugitive,keptlookingback。Therewasnothinginthatfairwoodofhiswithwhichshewasnotfamiliar,nothicketshehadnottravelled,nostreamshehadnotcrossed,nokissshecouldnotreturn。Hiswasadiscoveredland,inwhich,asofright,shewouldreign。Shehadnothingtohopefromhimbutpower,andsolidpleasure。Hereyessaid:HowamItoknowwhetherIshallnotwantmorethanyou;feelsuffocatedinyourarms;besurfeitedbyallthatyouwillbringme？HaveInotalreadygotallthat？
Sheknew,fromhisdowncastgloomyface,howcruelsheseemed,andwassorry。Shewantedtobegoodtohim,andsaidalmostshyly:
\"Areyouangrywithme,Claud？\"
Harbingerlookedup。
\"Whatmakesyousocruel？\"
\"Iamnotcruel。\"
\"Youare。Whereisyourheart？\"
\"Here！\"saidBarbara,touchingherbreast。
\"Ah！\"mutteredHarbinger;\"I\'mnotjoking。\"
Shesaidgently:\'
\"Isitasbadasthat,mydear？\"
Butthesoftnessofhervoiceseemedtofanthesmoulderingfiresinhim。
\"There\'ssomethingbehindallthis,\"hestammered,\"you\'venorighttomakeafoolofme！\"
\"Andwhatisthesomething,please？\"
\"That\'sforyoutosay。ButI\'mnotblind。WhataboutthisfellowCourtier？\"
AtthatmomenttherewasrevealedtoBarbaraanewacquaintance——themaleproper。No,tolivewithhimwouldnotbequitelackinginadventure！
Hisfacehaddarkened;hiseyesweredilated,hiswholefigureseemedtohavegrown。Shesuddenlynoticedthehairwhichcoveredhisclenchedfists。Allhissuavityhadlefthim。Hecameveryclose。
Howlongthatlookbetweenthemlasted,andofalltherewasinit,shehadnoclearknowledge;thoughtafterthought,waveafterwaveoffeeling,rushedthroughher。Revoltandattraction,contemptandadmiration,queersensationsofdisgustandpleasure,allmingled——asonaMaydayonemayseethehailfall,andthesunsuddenlyburnthroughandsteamfromthegrass。
Thenhesaidhoarsely:
\"Oh！Babs,youmaddenmeso！\"
Smoothingherlips,asiftoregaincontrolofthem,sheanswered:
\"Yes,IthinkIhavehadenough,\"andwentoutintoherfather\'sstudy。
ThesightofLordandLadyValleyssointentlystaringatMiltounrestoredhexself—possession。
Itstruckherasslightlycomic,notknowingthatthelittlescenewastheoutcomeofthatword。Intruth,thecontrastbetweenMiltounandhisparentsatthismomentwasalmostludicrous。
LadyValleyswasthefirsttospeak。
\"Bettercomicthanromantic。IsupposeBarbaramayknow,consideringhercontributiontothismatter。Yourbrotherisresigninghisseat,mydear;hisconsciencewillnotpermithimtoretainit,undercertaincircumstancesthathavearisen。\"
\"Oh！\"criedBarbara:\"butsurely————\"
\"Thematterhasbeenargued,Babs,\"LordValleyssaidshortly;
\"unlessyouhavesomebetterreasontoadvancethanthoseofordinarycommonsense,publicspirit,andconsiderationforone\'sfamily,itwillhardlybeworthyourwhiletoreopenthediscussion。\"
BarbaralookedupatMiltoun,,whoseface,allbuttheeyes,waslikeamask。
\"Oh,Eusty！\"shesaid,\"you\'renotgoingtospoilyourlifelikethis！JustthinkhowIshallfeel。\"
Miltounansweredstonily:
\"Youdidwhatyouthoughtright;asIamdoing。\"
\"Doesshewantyouto？\"
\"No。\"
\"Thereis,Ishouldimagine,\"putinLordValleys,\"notasolitarycreatureinthewholeworldexceptyourbrotherhimselfwhowouldwishforthisconsummation。Butwithhimsuchaconsiderationdoesnotweigh！\"
\"Oh！\"sighedBarbara;\"thinkofGranny！\"
\"Iprefernottothinkofher,\"murmuredLadyValleys。
\"She\'ssowrappedupinyou,Eusty。Shealwayshasbelievedinyouintensely。\"
Miltounsighed。And,encouragedbythatsound,Barbarawentcloser。
Itwasplainenoughthat,behindhisimpassivity,adesperatestrugglewasgoingoninMiltoun。Hespokeatlast:
\"IfIhavenotalreadyyieldedtoonewhoisnaturallymoretomethananything,whenshebeggedandentreated,itisbecauseIfeelthisinawayyoudon\'trealize。Iapologizeforusingthewordcomicjustnow,Ishouldhavesaidtragic。I\'llenlightenUncleDennis,ifthatwillcomfortyou;butthisisnotexactlyamatterforanyone,exceptmyself。\"And,withoutanotherlookorword,hewentout。
Asthedoorclosed,Barbararantowardsit;and,withamotionstrangelylikethewringingofhands,said\"Oh,dear！Oh！dear！\"Then,turningawaytoabookcase,shebegantocry。
Thisebullitionoffeeling,surpassingeventheirown,cameasarealshocktoLadyandLordValleys,ignorantofhowstrung—upshehadbeenbeforesheenteredtheroom。TheyhadnotseenBarbaracrysinceshewasatinygirl。AndinfaceofheremotionanyanimustheymighthaveshownherforhavingthrownMiltounintoMrs。Noel\'sarms,nowmeltedaway。LordValleys,especiallymoved,wentuptohisdaughter,andstoodwithherinthatdarkcorner,sayingnothing,butgentlystrokingherhand。LadyValleys,whoherselffeltverymuchinclinedtocry,wentoutofsightintotheembrasureofthewindow。
Barbara\'ssobbingwassoonsubdued。
\"It\'shisface,\"shesaid:\"Andwhy？Why？It\'ssounnecessary！\"
LordValleys,continuallytwistinghismoustache,muttered:
\"Exactly！Hemakesthingsforhimself！\"
\"Yes,\"murmuredLadyValleysfromthewindow,\"hewasalwaysuncomfortable,likethat。Irememberhimasababy。Bertieneverwas。\"
AndthenthesilencewasonlybrokenbythelittleangrysoundsofBarbarablowinghernose。
\"Ishallgoandseemother,\"saidLadyValleys,suddenly:\"Theboy\'swholelifemayberuinedifwecan\'tstopthis。Areyoucoming,child？\"
ButBarbararefused。
Shewenttoherroom,instead。ThiscrisisinMiltoun\'slifehadstrangelyshakenher。ItwasasifFatehadsuddenlyrevealedallthatanystepoutofthebeatenpathmightleadto,hadbroughthersharplyupagainstherself。Towingoutintotheblue！Seewhatitmeant！IfMiltounkepttohisresolve,andgaveuppubliclife,hewaslost！Andsheherself！ThefascinationofCourtier\'schivalrousmanner,ofasortofinnategallantry,suggestingthequestofeverlastingdanger——wasitnotratherabsurd？And——wasshefascinated？Wasitnotsimplythatshelikedthefeelingoffascinatinghim？Throughthemazeofthesethoughts,dartedthememoryofHarbinger\'sfaceclosetoherown,hisclenchedhands,theswiftrevelationofhisdangerousmasculinity。Itwasallanightmareofscaringqueersensations,ofthingsthatcouldneverbesettled。Shewasstirredforonceoutofallhernormalconqueringphilosophy。HerthoughtsflewbacktoMiltoun。Thatwhichshehadseenintheirfaces,then,hadcometopass！AndpicturingAgatha\'shorror,whenshecametohearofit,Barbaracouldnothelpasmile。