CHAPTERXLI
IAMSENT
ThenIturnedandsaidtoEve,\"Mother,onecouchnexttoLonaisempty:IknowIamunworthy,butmayInotsleepthisnightinyourchamberwithmydead？Willyounotpardonbothmycowardiceandmyself—confidence,andtakemein？
Igivemeup。Iamsickofmyself,andwouldfainsleepthesleep！\"
\"ThecouchnexttoLonaistheonealreadypreparedforyou,\"sheanswered;\"butsomethingwaitstobedoneereyousleep。\"
\"Iamready,\"Ireplied。
\"Howdoyouknowyoucandoit？\"sheaskedwithasmile。
\"Becauseyourequireit,\"Ianswered。\"Whatisit？\"
SheturnedtoAdam:
\"Isheforgiven,husband？\"
\"Frommyheart。\"
\"Thentellhimwhathehastodo。\"
Adamturnedtohisdaughter。
\"Givemethathand,Mara,mychild。\"
Shehelditouttohiminherlap。Hetookittenderly。
\"Letusgotothecottage,\"hesaidtome;\"thereIwillinstructyou。\"
Aswewent,againaroseasuddenstormfulblast,mingledwithagreatflappingontheroof,butitdiedawayasbeforeinadeepmoan。
Whenthedoorofthedeath—chamberwasclosedbehindus,Adamseatedhimself,andIstoodbeforehim。
\"Youwillremember,\"hesaid,\"how,afterleavingmydaughter\'shouse,youcametoadryrock,bearingthemarksofanancientcataract;youclimbedthatrock,andfoundasandydesert:gotothatrocknow,andfromitssummitwalkdeepintothedesert。Butgonotmanystepsereyouliedown,andlistenwithyourheadonthesand。Ifyouhearthemurmurofwaterbeneath,goalittlefarther,andlistenagain。Ifyoustillhearthesound,youareintherightdirection。Everyfewyardsyoumuststop,liedown,andhearken。If,listeningthus,atanytimeyouhearnosoundofwater,youareoutoftheway,andmusthearkenineverydirectionuntilyouhearitagain。Keepingwiththesound,andcarefulnottoretraceyoursteps,youwillsoonhearitlouder,andthegrowingsoundwillleadyoutowhereitisloudest:thatisthespotyouseek。TheredigwiththespadeIwillgiveyou,anddiguntilyoucometomoisture:initlaythehand,coverittothelevelofthedesert,andcomehome。——Butgivegoodheed,andcarrythehandwithcare。Neverlayitdown,inwhatplaceofseemingsafetysoever;
letnothingtouchit;stopnorturnasideforanyattempttobaryourway;neverlookbehindyou;speaktonoone,answernoone,walkstraighton。——Itisyetdark,andthemorningisfardistant,butyoumustsetoutatonce。\"
Hegavemethehand,andbroughtmeaspade。
\"Thisismygardeningspade,\"hesaid;\"withitIhavebroughtmanyalovelythingtothesun。\"
Itookit,andwentoutintothenight。
Itwasverycold,andpitch—dark。Tofallwouldbeadreadthing,andthewayIhadtogowasadifficultoneeveninthebroadsunlight！ButIhadnotsetmyselfthetask,andtheminuteI
startedIlearnedthatIwaslefttonochance:apalelightbrokefromthegroundateverystep,andshowedmewherenexttosetmyfoot。ThroughtheheatherandthelowrocksIwalkedwithoutonceevenstumbling。Ifoundthebadburrowquitestill;notawavearose,notaheadappearedasIcrossedit。
Amooncame,andherselfshowedmetheeasyway:towardmorningIwasalmostoverthedrychannelsofthefirstbranchoftheriver—bed,andnotfar,Ijudged,fromMara\'scottage。
Themoonwasverylow,andthesunnotyetup,whenIsawbeforemeinthepath,herenarrowedbyrocks,afigurecoveredfromheadtofootaswithaveilofmoonlitmist。IkeptonmywayasifIsawnothing。Thefigurethrewasideitsveil。
\"Haveyouforgottenmealready？\"saidtheprincess——orwhatseemedshe。
Ineitherhesitatednoranswered;Iwalkedstraighton。
\"Youmeantthentoleavemeinthathorriblesepulchre！DoyounotyetunderstandthatwhereIpleasetobe,thereIam？Takemyhand:
Iamaliveasyou！\"
Iwasonthepointofsaying,\"Givemeyourlefthand,\"butbethoughtmyself,heldmypeace,andsteadilyadvanced。
\"Givememyhand,\"shesuddenlyshrieked,\"orIwilltearyouinpieces:youaremine！\"
Sheflungherselfuponme。Ishuddered,butdidnotfalter。Nothingtouchedme,andIsawhernomore。
Withmeasuredtreadalongthepath,fillingitforsomedistance,cameabodyofarmedmen。Iwalkedthroughthem——norknowwhethertheygavewaytome,orwerebodilessthings。Buttheyturnedandfollowedme;Iheardandfelttheirmarchatmyveryheels;butI
castnolookbehind,andthesoundoftheirstepsandtheclashoftheirarmourdiedaway。
Alittlefartheron,themoonbeingnowclosetothehorizonandthewayindeepshadow,Idescried,seatedwherethepathwassonarrowthatIcouldnotpassher,awomanwithmuffledface。
\"Ah,\"shesaid,\"youarecomeatlast！Ihavewaitedhereforyouanhourormore！Youhavedonewell！Yourtrialisover。Myfathersentmetomeetyouthatyoumighthavealittlerestontheway。
Givemeyourcharge,andlayyourheadinmylap;Iwilltakegoodcareofbothuntilthesuniswellrisen。Iamnotbitternessalways,neithertoallmen！\"
Herwordswereterriblewithtemptation,forIwasveryweary。Andwhatmorelikelytobetrue！IfIwere,throughslavishobediencetotheletterofthecommandandlackofpureinsight,totrampleundermyfeettheverypersonoftheLadyofSorrow！Myheartgrewfaintatthethought,thenbeatasifitwouldburstmybosom。
Neverthelessmywillhardeneditselfagainstmyheart,andmystepdidnotfalter。ItookmytonguebetweenmyteethlestIshouldunawaresanswer,andkeptonmyway。IfAdamhadsenther,hecouldnotcomplainthatIwouldnotheedher！NorwouldtheLadyofSorrowlovemethelessthatevenshehadnotbeenabletoturnmeaside！
JustereIreachedthephantom,shepulledthecoveringfromherface:greatindeedwasherloveliness,butthosewerenotMara\'seyes！noliecouldtrulyorforlongimitatethem！Iadvancedasifthethingwerenotthere,andmyfootfoundemptyroom。
IhadalmostreachedtheothersidewhenaShadow——IthinkitwasTheShadow,barredmyway。Heseemedtohaveahelmetuponhishead,butasIdrewcloserIperceiveditwastheheaditselfIsaw——sodistortedastobearbutadoubtfulresemblancetothehuman。A
coldwindsmoteme,dankandsickening——repulsiveastheairofacharnel—house;firmnessforsookmyjoints,andmylimbstrembledasiftheywoulddropinahelplessheap。Iseemedtopassthroughhim,butIthinknowthathepassedthroughme:foramomentIwasasoneofthedamned。Thenasoftwindlikethefirstbreathofanew—bornspringgreetedme,andbeforemearosethedawn。
MywaynowledmepastthedoorofMara\'scottage。Itstoodwideopen,anduponthetableIsawaloafofbreadandapitcherofwater。Inoraroundthecottagewasneitherhowlnorwail。
Icametotheprecipicethattestifiedtothevanishedriver。I
climbeditswornface,andwentonintothedesert。Thereatlast,aftermuchlisteningtoandfro,Ideterminedthespotwherethehiddenwaterwasloudest,hungLilith\'shandaboutmyneck,andbegantodig。Itwasalonglabour,forIhadtomakealargeholebecauseoftheloosenessofthesand;butatlengthIthrewupadampspadeful。Iflungthesexton—toolontheverge,andlaiddownthehand。Alittlewaterwasalreadyoozingfromunderitsfingers。I
sprangout,andmadehastetofillthegrave。Then,utterlyfatigued,Idroppedbesideit,andfellasleep。
CHAPTERXLII
ISLEEPTHESLEEP
WhenIwoke,thegroundwasmoistaboutme,andmytracktothegravewasgrowingaquicksand。Initsancientcoursetheriverwasswelling,andhadbeguntoshoveatitsburden。Soonitwouldberoaringdowntheprecipice,and,dividedinitsfall,rushingwithonebranchtoresubmergetheorchardvalley,withtheothertodrownperhapsthemonsterhorde,andbetweenthemtoisletheEvilWood。
Isetoutatonceonmyreturntothosewhosentme。
WhenIcametotheprecipice,Itookmywaybetwixtthebranches,forIwouldpassagainbythecottageofMara,lestsheshouldhavereturned:IlongedtoseeheroncemoreereIwenttosleep;andnowIknewwheretocrossthechannels,eveniftherivershouldhaveovertakenmeandfilledthem。ButwhenIreachedit,thedoorstoodopenstill;thebreadandthewaterwerestillonthetable;
anddeepsilencewaswithinandaroundit。Istoppedandcalledaloudatthedoor,butnovoicereplied,andIwentmyway。
Alittlefarther,Icamewheresatagrayheadedmanonthesand,weeping。
\"Whatailsyou,sir？\"Iasked。\"Areyouforsaken？\"
\"Iweep,\"heanswered,\"becausetheywillnotletmedie。Ihavebeentothehouseofdeath,anditsmistress,notwithstandingmyyears,refusesme。Intercedeforme,sir,ifyouknowher,Iprayyou。\"
\"Nay,sir,\"Ireplied,\"thatIcannot;forsherefusesnonewhomitislawfulforhertoreceive。\"
\"Howknowyouthisofher？Youhaveneversoughtdeath！youaremuchtooyoungtodesireit！\"
\"Ifearyourwordsmayindicatethat,wereyouyoungagain,neitherwouldyoudesireit。\"
\"Indeed,youngsir,Iwouldnot！andcertainIamthatyoucannot。\"
\"Imaynotbeoldenoughtodesiretodie,butIamyoungenoughtodesiretoliveindeed！ThereforeIgonowtolearnifshewillatlengthtakemein。Youwishtodiebecauseyoudonotcaretolive:
shewillnotopenherdoortoyou,fornoonecandiewhodoesnotlongtolive。\"
\"Itillbecomesyouryouthtomockafriendlessoldman。Pray,ceaseyourriddles！\"
\"DidnotthentheMothertellyousomethingofthesamesort？\"
\"IntruthIbelieveshedid;butIgavelittleheedtoherexcuses。\"
\"Ah,then,sir,\"Irejoined,\"itisbuttooplainyouhavenotyetlearnedtodie,andIamheartilygrievedforyou。SuchhadItoobeenbutfortheLadyofSorrow。Iamindeedyoung,butIhaveweptmanytears;pardonme,therefore,ifIpresumetooffercounsel:——GototheLadyofSorrow,and`takewithbothhands\'*whatshewillgiveyou。Yonderlieshercottage。Sheisnotinitnow,butherdoorstandsopen,andthereisbreadandwateronhertable。Goin;
sitdown;eatofthebread;drinkofthewater;andwaitthereuntilsheappear。Thenaskcounselofher,forsheistrue,andherwisdomisgreat。\"
Hefelltoweepingafresh,andIlefthimweeping。WhatIsaid,I
fearhedidnotheed。ButMarawouldfindhim！
Thesunwasdown,andthemoonunrisen,whenIreachedtheabodeofthemonsters,butitwasstillasastonetillIpassedover。ThenIheardanoiseofmanywaters,andagreatcrybehindme,butI
didnotturnmyhead。
EreIreachedthehouseofdeath,thecoldwasbitterandthedarknessdense;andthecoldandthedarknesswereone,andenteredintomybonestogether。ButthecandleofEve,shiningfromthewindow,guidedme,andkeptbothfrostandmurkfrommyheart。
Thedoorstoodopen,andthecottagelayempty。Isatdowndisconsolate。
AndasIsat,theregrewinmesuchasenseoflonelinessasneveryetinmywanderingshadIfelt。Thousandswerenearme,notonewaswithme！True,itwasIwhowasdead,notthey;but,whetherbytheirlifeorbymydeath,weweredivided！Theywerealive,butIwasnotdeadenougheventoknowthemalive:doubtWOULDcome。
Theywere,atbest,farfromme,andhelpersIhadnonetolaymebesidethem！
NeverbeforehadIknown,ortrulyimagineddesolation！InvainI
tookmyselftotask,sayingthesolitudewasbutaseeming:Iwasawake,andtheyslept——thatwasall！itwasonlythattheylaysostillanddidnotspeak！theywerewithmenow,andsoon,soonI
shouldbewiththem！
IdroppedAdam\'soldspade,andthedullsoundofitsfallontheclayfloorseemedreverberatedfromthechamberbeyond:achildishterrorseizedme;Isatandstaredatthecoffin—door。——ButfatherAdam,motherEve,sisterMarawouldsooncometome,andthen——
welcomethecoldworldandthewhiteneighbours！Iforgotmyfears,livedalittle,andlovedmydead。
Somethingdidmoveinthechamberofthedead！TherecamefromitwhatwasLIKEadim,far—offsound,yetwasnotwhatIknewassound。
Mysoulsprangintomyears。Wasitamerethrillofthedeadair,tooslighttobeheard,butquiveringineveryspiritualsense？I
KNEWwithouthearing,withoutfeelingit！
Thesomethingwascoming！itdrewnearer！Inthebosomofmydesertionawokeaninfanthope。Thenoiselessthrillreachedthecoffin—door——becamesound,andsmoteonmyear。
Thedoorbegantomove——withalow,softcreakingofitshinges。Itwasopening！Iceasedtolisten,andstaredexpectant。
Itopenedalittleway,andafacecameintotheopening。ItwasLona\'s。Itseyeswereclosed,butthefaceitselfwasuponme,andseemedtoseeme。ItwaswhiteasEve\'s,whiteasMara\'s,butdidnotshineliketheirfaces。Shespoke,andhervoicewaslikeasleepynight—windinthegrass。
\"Areyoucoming,king？\"itsaid。\"Icannotrestuntilyouarewithme,glidingdowntherivertothegreatsea,andthebeautifuldream—land。Thesleepinessisfulloflovelythings:comeandseethem。\"
\"Ah,mydarling！\"Icried。\"HadIbutknown！——Ithoughtyouweredead！\"
Shelayonmybosom——coldasicefrozentomarble。Shethrewherarms,sowhite,feeblyaboutme,andsighed——
\"Carrymebacktomybed,king。Iwanttosleep。\"
Iborehertothedeath—chamber,holdinghertightlestsheshoulddissolveoutofmyarms。UnawarethatIsaw,Icarriedherstraighttohercouch。
\"Laymedown,\"shesaid,\"andcovermefromthewarmair;ithurts——alittle。Yourbedisthere,nexttomine。IshallseeyouwhenI
wake。\"
Shewasalreadyasleep。Ithrewmyselfonmycouch——blessedasneverwasmanontheeveofhiswedding。
\"Come,sweetcold,\"Isaid,\"andstillmyheartspeedily。\"
Buttherecameinsteadaglimmeroflightinthechamber,andIsawthefaceofAdamapproaching。Hehadnotthecandle,yetIsawhim。
AtthesideofLona\'scouch,helookeddownonherwithaquestioningsmile,andthengreetedmeacrossit。
\"Wehavebeentothetopofthehilltohearthewatersontheirway,\"hesaid。\"Theywillbeinthedenofthemonstersto—night。——
Butwhydidyounotawaitourreturn？\"
\"Mychildcouldnotsleep,\"Ianswered。
\"Sheisfastasleep！\"herejoined。
\"Yes,now！\"Isaid;\"butshewasawakewhenIlaidherdown。\"
\"Shewasasleepallthetime！\"heinsisted。\"Shewasperhapsdreamingaboutyou——andcametoyou？\"
\"Shedid。\"
\"Anddidyounotseethathereyeswereclosed？\"
\"NowIthinkofit,Idid。\"
\"Ifyouhadlookedereyoulaidherdown,youwouldhaveseenherasleeponthecouch。\"
\"Thatwouldhavebeenterrible！\"
\"Youwouldonlyhavefoundthatshewasnolongerinyourarms。\"
\"Thatwouldhavebeenworse！\"
\"Itis,perhaps,tothinkof;buttoseeitwouldnothavetroubledyou。\"
\"Dearfather,\"Isaid,\"howisitthatIamnotsleepy？IthoughtIshouldgotosleepliketheLittleOnesthemomentIlaidmyheaddown！\"
\"Yourhourisnotquitecome。Youmusthavefoodereyousleep。\"
\"Ah,Ioughtnottohavelaindownwithoutyourleave,forIcannotsleepwithoutyourhelp！Iwillgetupatonce！\"
ButIfoundmyownweightmorethanIcouldmove。
\"Thereisnoneed:wewillserveyouhere,\"heanswered。\"——Youdonotfeelcold,doyou？\"
\"Nottoocoldtoliestill,butperhapstoocoldtoeat！\"
Hecametothesideofmycouch,bentoverme,andbreathedonmyheart。AtonceIwaswarm。
Asheleftme,Iheardavoice,andknewitwastheMother\'s。Shewassinging,andhersongwassweetandsoftandlow,andIthoughtshesatbymybedinthedark;butereitceased,hersongsoaredaloft,andseemedtocomefromthethroatofawoman—angel,highabovealltheregionoflarks,higherthanmanhadeveryetlifteduphisheart。Iheardeverywordshesang,butcouldkeeponlythis:——
\"Manyawrong,anditscuringsong;
Manyaroad,andmanyaninn;
Roomtoroam,butonlyonehomeForalltheworldtowin！\"
andIthoughtIhadheardthesongbefore。
Thenthethreecametomycouchtogether,bringingmebreadandwine,andIsatuptopartakeofit。Adamstoodononesideofme,EveandMaraontheother。
\"Youaregoodindeed,fatherAdam,motherEve,sisterMara,\"Isaid,\"toreceiveme！InmysoulIamashamedandsorry！\"
\"Weknewyouwouldcomeagain！\"answeredEve。
\"Howcouldyouknowit？\"Ireturned。
\"BecauseherewasI,borntolookaftermybrothersandsisters！\"
answeredMarawithasmile。
\"Everycreaturemustonenightyieldhimselfandliedown,\"answeredAdam:\"hewasmadeforliberty,andmustnotbeleftaslave！\"
\"Itwillbelate,Ifear,ereallhavelaindown！\"Isaid。
\"Thereisnoearlyorlatehere,\"herejoined。\"Forhimthetruetimethenfirstbeginswholayshimselfdown。Menarenotcominghomefast;womenarecomingfaster。Adesert,wideanddreary,partshimwholiesdowntodiefromhimwholiesdowntolive。Theformermaywellmakehaste,buthereisnohaste。\"
\"Tooureyes,\"saidEve,\"youwerecomingallthetime:weknewMarawouldfindyou,andyoumustcome！\"
\"Howlongisitsincemyfatherlaydown？\"Iasked。
\"Ihavetoldyouthatyearsareofnoconsequenceinthishouse,\"
answeredAdam;\"wedonotheedthem。Yourfatherwillwakewhenhismorningcomes。Yourmother,nexttowhomyouarelying,————\"
\"Ah,then,itISmymother！\"Iexclaimed。
\"Yes——shewiththewoundedhand,\"heassented;\"——shewillbeupandawaylongereyourmorningisripe。\"
\"Iamsorry。\"
\"Ratherbeglad。\"
\"ItmustbeasightforGodHimselftoseesuchawomancomeawake！\"
\"ItisindeedasightforGod,asightthatmakesherMakerglad！
HeseesofthetravailofHissoul,andissatisfied！——Lookatheroncemore,andsleep。\"
Helettheraysofhiscandlefallonherbeautifulface。
\"Shelooksmuchyounger！\"Isaid。
\"SheISmuchyounger,\"hereplied。\"EvenLilithalreadybeginstolookyounger！\"
Ilaydown,blissfullydrowsy。
\"Butwhenyouseeyourmotheragain,\"hecontinued,\"youwillnotatfirstknowher。Shewillgoonsteadilygrowingyoungeruntilshereachestheperfectionofherwomanhood——asplendourbeyondforesight。Thenshewillopenhereyes,beholdononesideherhusband,ontheotherherson——andriseandleavethemtogotoafatherandabrothermoretoherthanthey。\"
Iheardasoneinadream。Iwasverycold,butalreadythecoldcausedmenosuffering。Ifeltthemputonmethewhitegarmentofthedead。ThenIforgoteverything。Thenightaboutmewaspalewithsleepingfaces,butIwasasleepalso,norknewthatIslept。
CHAPTERXLIII
THEDREAMSTHATCAME
Igrewawareofexistence,awarealsooftheprofound,theinfinitecold。Iwasintenselyblessed——moreblessed,Iknow,thanmyheart,imagining,cannowrecall。Icouldnotthinkofwarmthwiththeleastsuggestionofpleasure。IknewthatIhadenjoyedit,butcouldnotrememberhow。Thecoldhadsoothedeverycare,dissolvedeverypain,comfortedeverysorrow。COMFORTED？Nay;sorrowwasswallowedupinthelifedrawingnightorestoreeverygoodandlovelythingahundredfold！Ilayatpeace,fullofthequietestexpectation,breathingthedampodoursofEarth\'sbountifulbosom,awareofthesoulsofprimroses,daisiesandsnowdrops,patientlywaitinginitfortheSpring。
Howconveythedelightofthatfrozen,yetconscioussleep！Ihadnomoretostandup！hadonlytoliestretchedoutandstill！HowcoldIwas,wordscannottell;yetIgrewcolderandcolder——andwelcomedthecoldyetmoreandmore。Igrewcontinuouslylessconsciousofmyself,continuouslymoreconsciousofbliss,unimaginableyetfelt。Ihadneithermadeitnorprayedforit:itwasmineinvirtueofexistence！andexistencewasmineinvirtueofaWillthatdweltinmine。
Thenthedreamsbegantoarrive——andcamecrowding。——Ilaynakedonasnowypeak。Thewhitemistheavedbelowmelikeabillowysea。
Thecoldmoonwasintheairwithme,andabovethemoonandmethecoldersky,inwhichthemoonandIdwelt。IwasAdam,waitingforGodtobreatheintomynostrilsthebreathoflife。——IwasnotAdam,butachildinthebosomofamotherwhitewitharadiantwhiteness。Iwasayouthonawhitehorse,leapingfromcloudtocloudofablueheaven,hastingcalmlytosomeblessedgoal。ForcenturiesIdreamed——orwasitchiliads？oronlyonelongnight？——Butwhyask？fortimehadnothingtodowithme;Iwasinthelandofthought——fartherin,higherupthanthesevendimensions,thetensenses:IthinkIwaswhereIam——intheheartofGod。——Idreamedawaydimcyclesinthecentreofameltingglacier,thespectralmoondrawingnearerandnearer,thewindandthewelterofatorrentgrowinginmyears。Ilayandheardthem:thewindandthewaterandthemoonsangapeacefulwaitingforaredemptiondrawingnigh。
Idreamedcycles,Isay,but,foraughtIkneworcantell,theywerethesolemn,鎜nianmarchofasecond,pregnantwitheternity。
Then,ofasudden,butnotoncetroublingmyconsciousbliss,allthewrongsIhadeverdone,fromfarbeyondmyearthlymemorydowntothepresentmoment,werewithme。FullyineverywronglivedtheconsciousI,confessing,abjuring,lamentingthedead,makingatonementwitheachpersonIhadinjured,hurt,oroffended。EveryhumansoultowhichIhadcausedatroubledthought,wasnowgrownunspeakablydeartome,andIhumbledmyselfbeforeit,agonisingtocastfrombetweenustheclingingoffence。IweptatthefeetofthemotherwhosecommandsIhadslighted;withbittershameI
confessedtomyfatherthatIhadtoldhimtwolies,andlongforgottenthem:nowforlonghadrememberedthem,andkepttheminmemorytocrushatlastathisfeet。IwastheeagerslaveofallwhomIhadthusoranyhowwronged。CountlessservicesIdevisedtorenderthem！ForthisoneIwouldbuildsuchahouseashadnevergrownfromtheground！forthatoneIwouldtrainsuchhorsesashadneveryetbeenseeninanyworld！ForathirdIwouldmakesuchagardenashadneverbloomed,hauntedwithstillpools,andalivewithrunningwaters！Iwouldwritesongstomaketheirheartsswell,andtalestomakethemglow！Iwouldturntheforcesoftheworldintosuchchannelsofinventionastomakethemlaughwiththejoyofwonder！Lovepossessedme！Lovewasmylife！Lovewastome,astohimthatmademe,allinall！
SuddenlyIfoundmyselfinasolidblackness,uponwhichtheghostoflightthatdwellsinthecavernsoftheeyescouldnotcastonefanciedglimmer。Butmyheart,whichfearednothingandhopedinfinitely,wasfullofpeace。Ilayimaginingwhatthelightwouldbewhenitcame,andwhatnewcreationitwouldbringwithit——when,suddenly,withoutconsciousvolition,Isatupandstaredaboutme。
Themoonwaslookinginatthelowest,horizontal,crypt—likewindowsofthedeath—chamber,herlonglightslanting,Ithought,acrossthefallen,butstillripeningsheavesoftheharvestofthegreathusbandman。——Butno;thatharvestwasgone！Gatheredin,orsweptawaybychaoticstorm,notasacredsheafwasthere！Mydeadweregone！Iwasalone！——IndesolationdreadlaydepthsyetdeeperthanIhadhithertoknown！——Hadthereneverbeenanyripeningdead？HadIbutdreamedthemandtheirloveliness？Whythenthesewalls？whytheemptycouches？No;theywereallup！theywereallabroadintheneweternalday,andhadforgottenme！Theyhadleftmebehind,andalone！Tenfoldmoreterriblewasthetombitsinhabitantsaway！
Thequietoneshadmademequietwiththeirpresence——hadpervadedmymindwiththeirblissfulpeace;nowIhadnofriend,andmyloverswerefarfromme！AmomentIsatandstaredhorror—stricken。Ihadbeenalonewiththemoononamountaintopinthesky;nowIwasalonewithherinahugecenotaph:shetoowasstaringabout,seekingherdeadwithghastlygaze！Isprangtomyfeet,andstaggeredfromthefearfulplace。
Thecottagewasempty。Iranoutintothenight。
Nomoonwasthere！EvenasIleftthechamber,acloudyramparthadrisenandcoveredher。Butabroadshimmercamefromfarovertheheath,mingledwithaghostlymurmuringmusic,asifthemoonwererainingalightthatplashedasitfell。Iranstumblingacrossthemoor,andfoundalovelylake,marginedwithreedsandrushes:themoonbehindthecloudwasgazinguponthemonsters\'den,fullofclearest,brightestwater,andverystill。——Butthemusicalmurmurwenton,fillingthequietair,anddrawingmeafterit。
Iwalkedroundtheborderofthelittlemere,andclimbedtherangeofhills。Whatasightrosetomyeyes！Thewholeexpansewhere,withhot,achingfeet,Ihadcrossedandrecrossedthedeep—scoredchannelsandravinesofthedryriver—bed,wasalivewithstreams,withtorrents,withstillpools——\"ariverdeepandwide\"！Howthemoonflashedonthewater！howthewateransweredthemoonwithflashesofitsown——whiteflashesbreakingeverywherefromitsrock—encounteredflow！Andagreatjubilantsongarosefromitsbosom,thesongofnew—bornliberty。Istoodamomentgazing,andmyheartalsobegantoexult:mylifewasnotallafailure！Ihadhelpedtosetthisriverfree！——Mydeadwerenotlost！Ihadbuttogoafterandfindthem！IwouldfollowandfollowuntilIcamewhithertheyhadgone！Ourmeetingmightbethousandsofyearsaway,butatlast——ATLASTIshouldholdthem！Whereforeelsedidthefloodsclaptheirhands？