ItappearedtobetheplanofLudloerathertodampthantostimulatemyzeal。Hediscouragedallattemptstorenewthesubjectinconversation。HedweltuponthearduousnessoftheofficetowhichIaspired，thetemptationstoviolatemydutywithwhichIshouldbecontinuallybeset，theinevitabledeathwithwhichtheslightestbreachofmyengagementswouldbefollowed，andthelongapprenticeshipwhichitwouldbenecessaryformetoserve，beforeIshouldbefittedtoenterintothisconclave。
Sometimesmycouragewasdepressedbytheserepresentations。
Myzeal，however，wassuretorevive；andatlengthLudloedeclaredhimselfwillingtoassistmeintheaccomplishmentofmywishes。Forthisend，itwasnecessary，hesaid，thatI
shouldbeinformedofasecondobligation，whicheverycandidatemustassume。Beforeanyonecouldbedeemedqualified，hemustbethoroughlyknowntohisassociates。Forthisend，hemustdeterminetodiscloseeveryfactinhishistory，andeverysecretofhisheart。Imustbeginwithmakingtheseconfessionswithregardtomypastlife，toLudloe，andmustcontinuetocommunicate，atstatedseasons，everynewthought，andeverynewoccurrence，tohim。Thisconfidencewastobeabsolutelylimitless:noexceptionsweretobeadmitted，andnoreservestobepractised；andthesamepenaltyattendedtheinfractionofthisruleasoftheformer。Meanswouldbeemployed，bywhichtheslightestdeviation，ineithercase，wouldbedetected，andthedeathfulconsequencewouldfollowwithinstantandinevitableexpedition。Ifsecrecyweredifficulttopractise，sincerity，inthatdegreeinwhichitwasheredemanded，wasataskinfinitelymorearduous，andaperiodofnewdeliberationwasnecessarybeforeIshoulddecide。Iwasatlibertytopause:nay，thelongerwastheperiodofdeliberationwhichItook，thebetter；but，whenI
hadonceenteredthispath，itwasnotinmypowertorecede。
Afterhavingsolemnlyavowedmyresolutiontobethussincereinmyconfession，anyparticleofreserveorduplicitywouldcostmemylife。
Thisindeedwasasubjecttobedeeplythoughtupon。HithertoIhadbeenguiltyofconcealmentwithregardtomyfriend。Ihadenteredintonoformalcompact，buthadbeenconscioustoakindoftacitobligationtohidenoimportanttransactionofmylifefromhim。Thisconsciousnesswasthesourceofcontinualanxiety。I
hadexerted，onnumerousoccasions，mybivocalfaculty，but，inmyintercoursewithLudloe，hadsufferednottheslightestintimationtoescapemewithregardtoit。Thisreservewasnoteasilyexplained。Itwas，inagreatdegree，theproductofhabit；butI
likewiseconsideredthattheefficacyofthisinstrumentdependeduponitsexistencebeingunknown。Toconfidethesecrettoone，wastoputanendtomyprivilege:howwidelytheknowledgewouldthenceforthbediffused，Ihadnopowertoforesee。
Eachdaymultipliedtheimpedimentstoconfidence。Shamehinderedmefromacknowledgingmypastreserves。Ludloe，fromthenatureofourintercourse，wouldcertainlyaccountmyreserve，inthisrespect，unjustifiable，andtoexcitehisindignationorcontemptwasanunpleasingundertaking。Now，ifIshouldresolvetopersistinmynewpath，thisreservemustbedismissed:Imustmakehimmasterofasecretwhichwasprecioustomebeyondallothers；byacquaintinghimwithpastconcealments，Imustriskincurringhissuspicionandhisanger。Thesereflectionswereproductiveofconsiderableembarrassment。
Therewas，indeed，anavenuebywhichtoescapethesedifficulties，ifitdidnot，atthesametime，plungemeintogreater。Myconfessionsmight，inotherrespects，beunbounded，butmyreserves，inthisparticular，mightbecontinued。YetshouldInotexposemyselftoformidableperils？Wouldmysecretbeforeverunsuspectedandundiscovered？
WhenIconsideredthenatureofthisfaculty，theimpossibilityofgoingfartherthansuspicion，sincetheagentcouldbeknownonlybyhisownconfession，andeventhisconfessionwouldnotbebelievedbythegreaterpartofmankind，Iwastemptedtoconcealit。
Inmostcases，ifIhadassertedthepossessionofthispower，Ishouldbetreatedasaliar；itwouldbeconsideredasanabsurdandaudaciousexpedienttofreemyselffromthesuspicionofhavingenteredintocompactwithadaemon，orofbeingmyselfanemissaryofthegrandfoe。Here，however，therewasnoreasontodreadasimilarimputation，sinceLudloehaddeniedthepreternaturalpretensionsoftheseairysounds。
Myconductonthisoccasionwasnowiseinfluencedbythebeliefofanyinherentsanctityintruth。Ludloehadtaughtmetomodelmyselfinthisrespectentirelywithaviewtoimmediateconsequences。Ifmygenuineinterest，onthewhole，waspromotedbyveracity，itwaspropertoadheretoit；but，iftheresultofmyinvestigationwereopposite，truthwastobesacrificedwithoutscruple。
*Paraguay。
ChapterVII。
Meanwhile，inapointofsomuchmoment，Iwasnothastytodetermine。Mydelayseemedtobe，bynomeans，unacceptabletoLudloe，whoapplaudedmydiscretion，andwarnedmetobecircumspect。Myattentionwaschieflyabsorbedbyconsiderationsconnectedwiththissubject，andlittleregardwaspaidtoanyforeignoccupationoramusement。
Oneevening，afteradayspentinmycloset，Isoughtrecreationbywalkingforth。MymindwaschieflyoccupiedbythereviewofincidentswhichhappenedinSpain。Iturnedmyfacetowardsthefields，andrecoverednotfrommyreverie，tillIhadproceededsomemilesontheroadtoMeath。Thenighthadconsiderablyadvanced，andthedarknesswasrenderedintense，bythesettingofthemoon。Beingsomewhatweary，aswellasundeterminedinwhatmannernexttoproceed，Iseatedmyselfonagrassybankbesidetheroad。ThespotwhichIhadchosenwasalooffrompassengers，andshrowdedinthedeepestobscurity。
Sometimeelapsed，whenmyattentionwasexcitedbytheslowapproachofanequipage。Ipresentlydiscoveredacoachandsixhorses，butunattended，exceptbycoachmanandpostillion，andwithnolighttoguidethemontheirway。ScarcelyhadtheypassedthespotwhereIrested，whensomeoneleapedfrombeneaththehedge，andseizedtheheadofthefore-horses。Anothercalleduponthecoachmantostop，andthreatenedhimwithinstantdeathifhedisobeyed。Athirddrewopenthecoach-door，andorderedthosewithintodelivertheirpurses。Ashriekofterrorshowedmethataladywaswithin，whoeagerlyconsentedtopreserveherlifebythelossofhermoney。
TowalkunarmedintheneighbourhoodofDublin，especiallyatnight，hasalwaysbeenaccounteddangerous。Ihadaboutmetheusualinstrumentsofdefence。Iwasdesirousofrescuingthispersonfromthedangerwhichsurroundedher，butwassomewhatatalosshowtoeffectmypurpose。Mysinglestrengthwasinsufficienttocontendwiththreeruffians。Afteramoment\'sdebate，anexpedientwassuggested，whichIhastenedtoexecute。
Timehadnotbeenallowedfortheruffianwhostoodbesidethecarriagetoreceivetheplunder，whenseveralvoices，loud，clamorous，andeager，wereheardinthequarterwhencethetravellerhadcome。Bytramplingwithquickness，itwaseasytoimitatethesoundofmanyfeet。Therobberswerealarmed，andonecalleduponanothertoattend。Thesoundsincreased，and，atthenextmoment，theybetookthemselvestoflight，butnottillapistolwasdischarged。Whetheritwasaimedattheladyinthecarriage，oratthecoachman，Iwasnotpermittedtodiscover，forthereportaffrightedthehorses，andtheysetoffatfullspeed。
Icouldnothopetoovertakethem:Iknewnotwhithertherobbershadfled，andwhether，byproceeding，ImightnotfallintotheirhandsTheseconsiderationsinducedmetoresumemyfeet，andretirefromthesceneasexpeditiouslyaspossible。I
regainedmyownhabitationwithoutinjury。
IhavesaidthatIoccupiedseparateapartmentsfromthoseofLudloe。Tothesethereweremeansofaccesswithoutdisturbingthefamily。Ihastedtomychamber，butwasconsiderablysurprizedtofind，onenteringmyapartment，Ludloeseatedatatable，withalampbeforehim。
Mymomentaryconfusionwasgreaterthanhis。Ondiscoveringwhoitwas，heassumedhisaccustomedlooks，andexplainedappearances，bysaying，thathewishedtoconversewithmeonasubjectofimportance，andhadthereforesoughtmeatthissecrethour，inmyownchamber。Contrarytohisexpectation，Iwasabsent。ConceivingitpossiblethatImightshortlyreturn，hehadwaitedtillnow。Hetooknofurthernoticeofmyabsence，normanifestedanydesiretoknowthecauseofit，butproceededtomentionthesubjectwhichhadbroughthimhither。Thesewerehiswords。
Youhavenothingwhichthelawspermityoutocallyourown。
Justiceentitlesyoutothesupplyofyourphysicalwants，fromthosewhoareabletosupplythem；buttherearefewwhowillacknowledgeyourclaim，orspareanatomoftheirsuperfluitytoappeaseyourcravings。Thatwhichtheywillnotspontaneouslygive，itisnotrighttowrestfromthembyviolence。Whatthenistobedone？
Propertyisnecessarytoyourownsubsistence。Itisuseful，byenablingyoutosupplythewantsofothers。Togivefood，andclothing，andshelter，istogivelife，toannihilatetemptation，tounshacklevirtue，andpropagatefelicity。Howshallpropertybegained？
Youmaysetyourunderstandingoryourhandsatwork。Youmayweavestockings，orwritepoems，andexchangethemformoney；butthesearetardyandmeagreschemes。Themeansaredisproportionedtotheend，andIwillnotsufferyoutopursuethem。Myjusticewillsupplyyourwants。
Butdependanceonthejusticeofothersisaprecariouscondition。Tobetheobjectisalessennoblingstatethantobethebestowerofbenefit。Doubtlessyoudesiretobevestedwithcompetenceandriches，andtoholdthembyvirtueofthelaw，andnotatthewillofabenefactor。Hepausedasifwaitingformyassenttohispositions。Ireadilyexpressedmyconcurrence，andmydesiretopursueanymeanscompatiblewithhonesty。Heresumed。
Therearevariousmeans，besideslabour，violence，orfraud。
Itisrighttoselecttheeasiestwithinyourreach。Ithappensthattheeasiestisathand。Arevenueofsomethousandsayear，astatelymansioninthecity，andanotherinKildare，oldandfaithfuldomestics，andmagnificentfurniture，aregoodthings。
Willyouhavethem？
Agiftlikethat，repliedI，willbeattendedbymomentousconditions。Icannotdecideuponitsvalue，untilIknowtheseconditions。
Thesoleconditionisyourconsenttoreceivethem。Noteventheairyobligationofgratitudewillbecreatedbyacceptance。Onthecontrary，byacceptingthem，youwillconferthehighestbenefituponanother。
Idonotcomprehendyou。Somethingsurelymustbegiveninreturn。
Nothing。Itmayseemstrangethat，inacceptingtheabsolutecontroulofsomuchproperty，yousubjectyourselftonoconditions；thatnoclaimsofgratitudeorservicewillaccrue；butthewonderisgreaterstill。Thelawequitablyenoughfettersthegiftwithnorestraints，withrespecttoyouthatreceiveit；butnotsowithregardtotheunhappybeingwhobestowsit。Thatbeingmustpart，notonlywithpropertybutliberty。Inacceptingtheproperty，youmustconsenttoenjoytheservicesofthepresentpossessor。Theycannotbedisjoined。
Ofthetruenatureandextentofthegift，youshouldbefullyapprized。Beaware，therefore，that，togetherwiththisproperty，youwillreceiveabsolutepoweroverthelibertyandpersonofthebeingwhonowpossessesit。Thatbeingmustbecomeyourdomesticslave；begoverned，ineveryparticular，byyourcaprice。
Happilyforyou，thoughfullyinvestedwiththispower，thedegreeandmodeinwhichitwillbeexercisedwilldependuponyourselfYoumayeithertotallyforbeartheexercise，oremployitonlyforthebenefitofyourslave。Howeverinjurious，therefore，thisauthoritymaybetothesubjectofit，itwill，insomesense，onlyenhancethevalueofthegifttoyou。
Theattachmentandobedienceofthisbeingwillbechieflyevidentinonething。Itsdutywillconsistinconforming，ineveryinstance，toyourwill。Allthepowersofthisbeingaretobedevotedtoyourhappiness；butthereisonerelationbetweenyou，whichenablesyoutoconfer，whileexacting，pleasure……Thisrelationis~~sexual~~。Yourslaveisawoman；andthebond，whichtransfersherpropertyandpersontoyou，is……~~marriage~~。
MyknowledgeofLudloe，hisprinciples，andreasonings，oughttohaveprecludedthatsurprisewhichIexperiencedattheconclusionofhisdiscourse。Iknewthatheregardedthepresentinstitutionofmarriageasacontractofservitude，andthetermsofitunequalandunjust。Whenmysurprisehadsubsided，mythoughtsturneduponthenatureofhisscheme。Afterapauseofreflection，Ianswered:
Bothlawandcustomhaveconnectedobligationswithmarriage，which，thoughheaviestonthefemale，arenotlightuponthemale。
Theirweightandextentarenotimmutableanduniform；theyaremodifiedbyvariousincidents，andespeciallybythementalandpersonalqualitiesofthelady。
IamnotsurethatIshouldwillinglyacceptthepropertyandpersonofawomandecrepidwithage，andenslavedbyperversehabitsandevilpassions:whereasyouth，beauty，andtendernesswouldbeworthaccepting，evenfortheirownsake，anddisconnectedwithfortune。
Astoaltarvows，Ibelievetheywillnotmakemeswervefromequity。Ishallexactneitherservicenoraffectionfrommyspouse。Thevalueofthese，and，indeed，notonlythevalue，buttheveryexistence，ofthelatterdependsuponitsspontaneity。A
promisetolovetendsrathertoloosenthanstrengthenthetie。
Astomyself，theageofillusionispast。Ishallnotwed，tillIfindonewhosemoralandphysicalconstitutionwillmakepersonalfidelityeasy。Ishalljudgewithoutmistinessorpassion，andhabitwillcomeinaidofanenlightenedanddeliberatechoice。
Ishallnotbefastidiousinmychoice。Idonotexpect，andscarcelydesire，muchintellectualsimilitudebetweenmeandmywife。Ouropinionsandpursuitscannotbeincommon。Whilewomenareformedbytheireducation，andtheireducationcontinuesinitspresentstate，tenderheartsandmisguidedunderstandingsareallthatwecanhopetomeetwith。
Whatarethecharacter，age，andpersonofthewomantowhomyouallude？andwhatprospectofsuccesswouldattendmyexertionstoobtainherfavour？
Ihavetoldyousheisrich。Sheisawidow，andowesherrichestotheliberalityofherhusband，whowasatraderofgreatopulence，andwhodiedwhileonamercantileadventuretoSpain。
Hewasnotunknowntoyou。YourlettersfromSpainoftenspokeofhim。Inshort，sheisthewidowofBenington，whomyoumetatBarcelona。Sheisstillintheprimeoflife；isnotwithoutmanyfeminineattractions；hasanardentandcredulenttemper；andisparticularlygiventodevotion。Thistemperitwouldbeeasytoregulateaccordingtoyourpleasureandyourinterest，andInowsubmittoyoutheexpediencyofanalliancewithher。
Iamakinsman，andregardedbyherwithuncommondeference；
andmycommendations，therefore，willbeofgreatservicetoyou，andshallbegiven。
Iwilldealingenuouslywithyou。Itisproperyoushouldbefullyacquaintedwiththegroundsofthisproposal。Thebenefitsofrank，andproperty，andindependence，whichIhavealreadymentionedaslikelytoaccruetoyoufromthismarriage，aresolidandvaluablebenefits；butthesearenotthesoleadvantages，andtobenefityou，intheserespects，isnotmywholeview。
No。Mytreatmentofyouhenceforthwillberegulatedbyoneprinciple。Iregardyouonlyasoneundergoingaprobationorapprenticeship；assubjectedtotrialsofyoursincerityandfortitude。ThemarriageInowproposetoyouisdesirable，becauseitwillmakeyouindependentofme。Yourpovertymightcreateanunsuitablebiasinfavourofproposals，oneofwhoseeffectswouldbetosetyoubeyondfortune\'sreach。Thatbiaswillcease，whenyouceasetobepooranddependent。
Loveisthestrongestofallhumandelusions。Thatfortitude，whichisnotsubduedbythetendernessandblandishmentsofwoman，maybetrusted；butnofortitude，whichhasnotundergonethattest，willbetrustedbyus。
Thiswomanisacharmingenthusiast。Shewillnevermarrybuthimwhomshepassionatelyloves。Herpowerovertheheartthatlovesherwillscarcelyhavelimits。Themeansofpryingintoyourtransactions，ofsuspectingandsiftingyourthoughts，whichherconstantsocietywithyou，whilesleepingandwaking，herzealandwatchfulnessforyourwelfare，andhercuriosity，adroitness，andpenetrationwillaffordher，areevident。Yourdanger，therefore，willbeimminent。Yourfortitudewillbeobligedtohaverecourse，nottoflight，buttovigilance。Youreyemustneverclose。
Alas！whathumanmagnanimitycanstandthistest！HowcanI
persuademyselfthatyouwillnotfail？Iwaverbetweenhopeandfear。Many，itistrue，havefallen，anddraggedwiththemtheauthoroftheirruin，butsomehavesoaredaboveeventheseperilsandtemptations，withtheirfieryenergiesunimpaired，andgreathasbeen，asgreatoughttobe，theirrecompence。
Butyouaredoubtlessawareofyourdanger。Ineednotrepeattheconsequencesofbetrayingyourtrust，therigourofthosewhowillJudgeyourfault，theunerringandunboundedscrutinytowhichyouractions，themostsecretandindifferent，willbesubjected。
Yourconduct，however，willbevoluntary。Atyourownoptionbeit，toseeornottoseethiswoman。Circumspection，deliberationforethought，areyoursacreddutiesandhighestinterest。
ChapterVIII。
Ludloe\'sremarksontheseductiveandbewitchingpowersofwomen，onthedifficultyofkeepingasecretwhichtheywishtoknow，andtogainwhichtheyemploythesoftartilleryoftearsandprayers，andblandishmentsandmenaces，arefamiliartoallmen，buttheyhadlittleweightwithme，becausetheywereunsupportedbymyownexperience。Ihadneverhadanyintellectualorsentimentalconnectionwiththesex。Mymeditationsandpursuitshadallledadifferentway，andabiashadgraduallybeengiventomyfeelings，veryunfavourabletotherefinementsoflove。I
acknowledge，withshameandregret，thatIwasaccustomedtoregardthephysicalandsensualconsequencesofthesexualrelationasrealities，andeverythingintellectual，disinterested，andheroic，whichenthusiastsconnectwithitasidledreams。Besides，saidI，Iamyetastrangertothesecret，onthepreservationofwhichsomuchstressislaid，anditwillbeoptionalwithmetoreceiveitornot。If，intheprogressofmyacquaintancewithMrs。
Benington，Ishouldperceiveanyextraordinarydangerinthegift，cannotIrefuse，oratleastdelaytocomplywithanynewconditionsfromLudloe？Willnothiscandourandhisaffectionformerathercommendthandisapprovemydiffidence？Infine，I
resolvedtoseethislady。