第13章
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  ItwassevenandmorewhenSheltonreturned,fromhiswalk;afewheatdropshadsplashedtheleaves,butthestormhadnotyetbroken。

  Inbroodingsilencetheworldseemedpentbeneaththepurplefirmament。

  ByrapidwalkingintheheatSheltonhadgotridofhisdespondency。

  Hefeltlikeonewhoistoseehismistressafterlongestrangement。

  He,bathed,and,straighteninghistie-ends,stoodsmilingattheglass。Hisfear,unhappiness,anddoubtsseemedlikeanevildream;

  howmuchworseoffwouldhenothavebeen,haditallbeentrue?

  Itwasdinner-partynight,andwhenhereachedthedrawing-roomtheguestsweretherealready,chatteringofthecomingstorm。Antoniawasnotyetdown,andSheltonstoodbythepianowaitingforherentry。Redfaces,spotlessshirt-fronts,whitearms;andfreshly-

  twistedhairwereallaroundhim。Someonehandedhimaclovecarnation,and,asheheldittohisnose,Antoniacamein,breathless,asthoughshehadrusheddown-stairs,Hercheekswerepalenolonger;herhandkeptstealingtoherthroat。Theflamesofthecomingstormseemedtohavecaughtfirewithinher,tobescorchingherinherwhitefrock;shepassedhimclose,andherfragrancewhippedhissenses。

  Shehadneverseemedtohimsolovely。

  NeveragainwillSheltonbreathetheperfumeofmelonsandpineappleswithoutastrangeemotion。FromwherehesatatdinnerhecouldnotseeAntonia,butamidstthechatteringofvoices,theclinkofglassandsilver,thesightsandsoundsandscentsoffeasting,hethoughthowhewouldgotoherandsaythatnothingmatteredbutherlove。

  Hedrankthefrosted,pale-goldliquidofchampagneasifithadbeenwater。

  Thewindowsstoodwideopenintheheat;thegardenlayinthick,softshadow,wherethepitchyshapesoftreescouldbediscerned。

  Therewasnotabreathofairtofanthecandle-flamesabovetheflowers;buttwolargemoths,fearfuloftheheavydark,flewinandwheeledbetweenthelightsoverthediners\'heads。Onefellscorchedintoadishoffruit,andwasremoved;theother,eludingalltheswishofnapkinsandtheeffortsofthefootmen,continuedtomakesoft,flutteringrushestillSheltonroseandcaughtitinhishand。

  Hetookittothewindowandthrewitoutintothedarkness,andhenoticedthattheairwasthickandtepidtohisface。AtasignfromMr。Dennantthemuslincurtainswerethendrawnacrossthewindows,andingratitude,perhaps,forthisprotection,thisfilmybarrierbetweenthemandthemuffledthreatsofNature,everyonebrokeoutintalk。Itwassuchanightascomesinsummerafterperfectweather,frighteninginitsheat,andsilence,whichwasbrokenbythedistantthundertravellinglowalongthegroundlikethemutteringofalldarkplacesontheearth——suchanightasseems,byverybreathlessness,tosmotherlife,andwithitsfatefulthreatstojustifyman\'scowardice。

  Theladiesroseatlast。Thecircleoftherosewooddining-table,whichhadnocloth,strewnwithflowersandsilvergilt,hadalikenesstosomeautumnpoolwhosebrowndepthsofoilywatergleamunderthesunsetwithredandyellowleaves;aboveitthesmokeofcigaretteswasclinging,likeamisttowaterwhenthesungoesdown。

  SheltonbecameinvolvedinargumentwithhisneighbourontheEnglishcharacter。

  \"InEnglandwe\'vemislaidtherecipeoflife,\"hesaid。\"Pleasure\'salostart。Wedon\'tgetdrunk,we\'reashamedoflove,andastobeauty,we\'velosttheeyefor\'it。Inexchangewehavegotmoney,butwhat\'sthegoodofmoneywhenwedon\'tknowhowtospendit?\"

  Excitedbyhisneighbour\'ssmile,headded:\"Astothought,wethinksomuchofwhatourneighboursthinkthatweneverthinkatall……

  Haveyoueverwatchedaforeignerwhenhe\'slisteningtoanEnglishman?We\'reinthehabitofdespisingforeigners;thescornwehaveforthemisnothingtothescorntheyhaveforus。Andtheyareright!Lookatourtaste!Whatisthegoodofowningrichesifwedon\'tknowhowtousethem?\"

  \"That\'srathernewtome,\"hisneighboursaid。\"Theremaybesomethinginit……DidyouseethatcaseinthepaperstheotherdayofoldHornblower,wholeftthe1820portthatfetchedaguineaabottle?Whenthepurchaser——poorfeller!——cametodrinkithefoundelevenbottlesoutoftwelvecompletelyullaged——ha!ha!Well,there\'snothingwrongwiththis\";andhedrainedhisglass。

  \"No,\"answeredShelton。

  Whentheyrosetojointheladies,heslippedoutonthelawn。

  Atoncehewasenvelopedinabathofheat。Aheavyodour,sensual,sinister,wasintheair,asfromasuddenfloweringofamorousshrubs。Hestoodanddrankitinwithgreedynostrils。Puttinghishanddown,hefeltthegrass;itwasdry,andchargedwithelectricity。Thenhesaw,paleandcandescentintheblackness,threeorfourgreatlilies,theauthorsofthatperfume。Theblossomsseemedtoberisingathimthroughthedarkness;asthoughputtinguptheirfacestobekissed。Hestraightenedhimselfabruptlyandwentin。

  TheguestswereleavingwhenShelton,whowaswatching;sawAntoniaslipthroughthedrawing-roomwindow。Hecouldfollowthewhiteglimmerofherfrockacrossthelawn,butlostitintheshadowofthetrees;castingahastylooktoseethathewasnotobserved,hetooslippedout。Theblacknessandtheheatwerestiflinghetookgreatbreathsofitasifitwerethepurestmountainair,and,treadingsoftlyonthegrass,stoleontowardstheholmoak。Hislipsweredry,,hisheartbeatpainfully。Themutterofthedistantthunderhadquiteceased;wavesofhotaircamewheelinginhisface,andintheirmidstasuddenrushofcold。Hethought,\"Thestormiscomingnow!\"andstoleontowardsthetree。Shewaslyinginthehammock,herfigureawhiteblurin,theheartofthetree\'sshadow,rockinggentlytoalittlecreakingofthebranch。Sheltonheldhisbreath;shehadnotheardhim。Hecreptupclosebehindthetrunktillhestoodintouchofher。\"Imustn\'tstartleher,\"hethought。

  \"Antonia!\"

  Therewasafaintstirinthehammock,butnoanswer。Hestoodoverher,buteventhenhecouldnotseeherface;heonly,hadasenseofsomethingbreathingandalivewithinayardofhim——ofsomethingwarmandsoft。Hewhisperedagain,\"Antonia!\"butagaintherecamenoanswer,andasortoffearandfrenzyseizedonhim。Hecouldnolongerhearherbreathe;thecreakingofthebranchhadceased。Whatwaspassinginthatsilent,livingcreaturetheresoclose?Andthenheheardagainthesoundofbreathing,quickandscared,liketheflutteringofabird;inamomenthewasstaringinthedarkatanemptyhammock。

  Hestayedbesidetheemptyhammocktillhecouldbearuncertaintynolonger。Butashecrossedthelawntheskywasrentfromendtoendbyjaggedlightning,rainspatteredhimfromheadtofoot,andwithadeafeningcrackthethunderbroke。

  Hesoughtthesmoking-room,but,recoilingatthedoor,wenttohisownroom,andthrewhimselfdownonthebed。Thethundergroanedandsputteredinlongvolleys;thelightningshowedhimtheshapesofthingswithintheroom,withaweirddistinctnessthatrentfromthemalllikenesstothepurposetheyweremadefor,bereavedthemofutility,oftheirmatter-of-factness,presentedthemasskeletons,abstractions,withindecencyintheirappearance,likethenakednervesandsinewsofalegpreservedin,spirit。Thesoundoftherainagainstthehousestunnedhispowerofthinking,herosetoshuthiswindows;then,returningtohisbed,threwhimselfdownagain。

  Hestayedtheretillthestormwasover,inakindofstupor;butwhentheboomoftheretreatingthundergreweveryminutelessdistinct,herose。Thenforthefirsttimehesawsomethingwhiteclosebythedoor。

  Itwasanote:

  Ihavemadeamistake。Pleaseforgiveme,andgoaway——ANTONIA。

  CHAPTERXXXII

  WILDERNESS

  Whenhehadreadthisnote,Sheltonputitdownbesidehissleeve-

  linksonhisdressingtable,staredinthemirrorathimself,andlaughed。Buthislipssoonstoppedhimlaughing;hethrewhimselfuponhisbedandpressedhisfaceintothepillows。Helaytherehalf-dressedthroughoutthenight,andwhenherose,soonafterdawn,hehadnotmadehismindupwhattodo。TheonlythingheknewforcertainwasthathemustnotmeetAntonia。

  Atlasthepennedthefollowing:

  Ihavehadasleeplessnightwithtoothache,andthinkitbesttorunuptothedentistatonce。Ifatoothmustcomeout,thesoonerthebetter。

  HeaddressedittoMrs。Dennant,andleftitonhistable。Afterdoingthishethrewhimselfoncemoreuponhisbed,andthistimefellintoadoze。

  Hewokewithastart,dressed,andlethimselfquietlyout。ThelikenessofhisgoingtothatofFerrandstruckhim。\"Bothoutcastsnow,\"hethought。

  Hetrampedontillnoonwithoutknowingorcaringwherehewent;

  then,enteringafield,threwhimselfdownunderthehedge,andfellasleep。

  Hewasawakenedbyawhirr。Acoveyofpartridges,withwingsglisteninginthesun,werestragglingoutacrosstheadjoiningfieldofmustard。Theysoonsettledintheold-maidishwayofpartridges,andbegantocalluponeachother。

  Somecattlehadapproachedhiminhissleep,andabeautifulbaycow,withherheadturnedsideways,wassnuffingathimgently,exhalingherpeculiarsweetness。Shewasasfineinlegsandcoatasanyrace-horse。Shedribbledatthecornersofherblack,moistlips;

  hereyewassoftandcynical。Breathingthevaguesweetnessofthemustard-field,rubbingdrygrasp-stalksinhisfingers,Sheltonhadamoment\'shappiness——thehappinessofsunandsky,oftheeternalquiet,anduntoldmovementsofthefields。Whycouldnothumanbeingslettheirtroublesbeasthiscowleftthefliesthatclungabouthereyes?Hedozedagain,andwokeupwithalaugh,forthiswaswhathedreamed:

  Hefanciedhewasinaroom,atoncethehallanddrawing-roomofsomecountryhouse。Inthecentreofthisroomaladystood,whowaslookinginahand-glassatherface。Beyondadoororwindowcouldbeseenagardenwitharowofstatues,andthroughthisdoorpeoplepassedwithoutapparentobject。

  SuddenlySheltonsawhismotheradvancingtotheladywiththehand-

  glass,whomnowherecognisedasMrs。Foliot。But,ashelooked,hismotherchangedtoMrs。Dennant,andbeganspeakinginavoicethatwasasortofabstractofrefinement。\"Jefaisdelaphilosophic,\"

  itsaid;\"Itaketheindividualforwhatshe\'sworth。Idonotcondemn;aboveall,onemusthavespirit!\"Theladywiththemirrorcontinuedlookingintheglass;and,thoughhecouldnotseeherface,hecouldseeitsimage-pale,withgreenisheyes,andasmilelikescornitself。Then,byaswifttransition,hewaswalkinginthegardentalkingtoMrs。Dennant。

  Itwasfromthistalkthatheawokewithlaughter。\"But,\"shehadbeensaying,\"Dick,I\'vealwaysbeenaccustomedtobelievewhatIwastold。ItwassounkindofhertoscornmejustbecauseIhappentobesecond-hand。\"AndhervoiceawakenedShelton\'spity;itwaslikeafrightenedchild\'s。\"Idon\'tknowwhatIshalldoifIhavetoformopinionsformyself。Iwasn\'tbroughtuptoit。I\'vealwayshadthemniceandsecondhand。HowamItogotowork?Onemustbelievewhatotherpeopledo;notthatIthinkmuchofotherpeople,but,youdoknowwhatitis——onefeelssomuchmorecomfortable,\"andherskirtsrustled。\"But,Dick,whateverhappens\"——hervoiceentreated——\"doletAntoniagetherjudgmentssecondhand。Nevermindforme——ifImustformopinionsformyself,Imust——butdon\'tlether;anyoldopinionssolongastheyareold。It\'sdreadfultohavetothinkoutnewonesforoneself。\"Andheawoke。HisdreamhadhadinittheelementcalledArt,for,initsgrossabsurdity,Mrs。Dennanthadsaidthingsthatshowedhersoulmorefullythananythingshewouldhavesaidinlife。

  \"No,\"saidavoicequiteclose,behindthehedge,\"notmanyFrenchmen,thanktheLord!AfewcoveysofHungariansoverfromtheDuke\'s。SirJames,somepie?\"

  Sheltonraisedhimselfwithdrowsycuriosity——stillhalfasleep——andappliedhisfacetoagapinthehigh,thickosiersofthehedge。

  Fourmenwereseatedoncamp-stoolsroundafolding-table,onwhichwasapieandotherthingstoeat。Agame-cart,well-adornedwithbirdsandhares,stoodatashortdistance;thetailsofsomedogswereseenmovinghumbly,andavaletopeningbottles。Sheltonhadforgottenthatitwas\"thefirst。\"Thehostwasasoldierlyandfreckledman;anoldermansatnexthim,square-jawed,withanabsent-lookingeyeandsharpenednose;nexthim,again,therewasabeardedpersonwhomtheyseemedtocalltheCommodore;inthefourth,tohisalarm,SheltonrecognisedthegentlemancalledMabbey。Itwasreallynomatterforsurprisetomeethimmilesfromhisownplace,forhewasoneofthosewhowanderwithavaletandtwogunsfromthetwelfthofAugusttotheendofJanuary,andarethensupposedtogotoMonteCarloortosleepuntilthetwelfthofAugustcomesagain。

  Hewasspeaking。

  \"Didyouhearwhatabagwemadeonthetwelfth,SirJames?\"

  \"Ah!yes;whatwasthat?Haveyousoldyourbayhorse,Glennie?\"

  Sheltonhadnotdecidedwhetherornotosneakaway,whentheCommodore\'sthickvoicebegan:

  \"MymantellshmethatMrs。Foliot——haw——haslamedherArab。Doesshemeantocomeoutcubbing?\"

  Sheltonobservedthesmilethatcameonalltheirfaces。\"Foliot\'spayingforhisgoodtimenow;whatadonkeytogetcaught!\"itseemedtosay。Heturnedhisbackandshuthiseyes。

  \"Cubbing?\"repliedGlennie;\"hardly。\"

  \"Nevercouldsheeanythingwonderfulinherlooks,\"wentontheCommodore;\"soquiet,youneverknewthatshewasintheroom。I

  remembersayin\'toheronce,\"Mrs。Lutheran,nowwhatdoyoulikebeshtinalltheworld?andwhatdoyouthinksheanswered?\'Music!\'

  Haw!\"

  ThevoiceofMabbeysaid:

  \"Hewasalwaysadarkhorse,Foliot:It\'salwaysthedarkhorsesthatgetletinforthiskindofthing\";andtherewasasoundasthoughhelickedhislips。

  \"Theysay,\"saidthevoiceofthehost,\"henevergivesyoubackagreetingnow。Queerfish;theysaythatshe\'sdevotedtohim。\"

  Comingsocloselyonhismeetingwiththislady,andonthedreamfromwhichhehadawakened,thisconversationmesmerisedthelistenerbehindthehedge。

  \"Ifhegivesuphishuntin\'andhisshootin\',Idon\'tseewhatthedeucehe\'lldo;he\'sresignedhisclubs;astohischanceofParliament——\"saidthevoiceofMabbey。

  \"Thousandpities,\"saidSirJames;\"still,heknewwhattoexpect。\"

  \"Veryqueerfellows,thoseFoliots,\"saidtheCommodore。\"Therewashisfather:he\'dalwaysrathertalktoanyscarecrowhecameacrossthantoyouorme。Wonderwhathe\'lldowithallhishorses;I

  shouldlikethatchestnutofhis。\"

  \"Youcan\'ttellwhatafellow\'lldo,\"saidthevoiceofMabbey——

  \"taketodrinkorwritin\'books。OldCharlieWaynecametogazin\'atstars,andtwiceaweekheusedtogoandpaddleroundinWhitechapel,teachin\'pothooks——\"

  \"Glennie,\"saidSirJames,\"what\'sbecomeofSmollett,youroldkeeper?\"

  \"Obligedtogetridofhim。\"Sheltontriedagaintoclosehisears,butagainhelistened。\"Gettingabittooold;lostmealotofeggslastseason。\"

  \"Ah!\"saidtheCommodore,\"whentheyonceshbegintoloseeggsh\"

  \"Asamatteroffact,hisson——yourememberhim,SirJames,heusedtoloadforyou?——gotagirlintotrouble;whenherpeoplegaveherthechuckoldSmollettookherin;beastlyscandalitmade,too。ThegirlrefusedtomarrySmollett,andoldSmollettbackedherup。

  Naturally,theparsonandthevillagecutuprough;mywifeofferedtogetherintooneofthosereformatorywhat-d\'you-call-\'ems,buttheoldfellowsaidsheshouldn\'tgoifshedidn\'twantto。Badbusinessaltogether;puthimquiteoffhisstroke。Ionlygotfivehundredpheasantslastyearinsteadofeight。\"

  Therewasasilence。Sheltonagainpeepedthroughthehedge。Allwereeatingpie。

  \"InWarwickshire,\"saidtheCommodore,\"theyalwaysmarry——haw——andlivereshpectableeverafter。\"

  \"Quiteso,\"remarkedthehost;\"itwasabittoothick,herrefusingtomarryhim。Shesaidhetookadvantageofher。\"

  \"She\'ssorrybythistime,\"saidSirJames;\"luckyescapeforyoungSmollett。Queer,theobstinacyofsomeoftheseoldfellows!\"

  \"Whatarewedoingafterlunch?\"askedtheCommodore。

  \"Thenextfield,\"saidthehost,\"ispasture。Welineupalongthehedge,anddrivethatmustardtowardstheroots;thereoughttobeagoodfewbirds。\"

  \"Sheltonrose,and,crouching,stolesoftlytothegate:

  \"Onthetwelfth,shootin\'intwoparties,\"followedthevoiceofMabbeyfromthedistance。

  Whetherfromhiswalkorfromhissleeplessnight,Sheltonseemedtoacheineverylimb;buthecontinuedhistrampalongtheroad。Hewasnonearertodecidingwhattodo。ItwaslateintheafternoonwhenhereachedMaidenhead,and,afterbreakingfast,gotintoaLondontrainandwenttosleep。Atteno\'clockthateveninghewalkedintoSt。James\'sParkandtheresatdown。

  Thelamplightdappledthroughthetiredfoliageontothesebencheswhichhaverestedmanyvagrants。Darknesshasceasedtobethelawfulcloakoftheunhappy;butMotherNightwassoftandmoonless,andmanhadnotdespoiledherofhercomfort,quite。

  Sheltonwasnotaloneupontheseat,foratthefarendwassittingayounggirlwithared,round,sullenface;andbeyond,andfurtherstill,weredimbenchesanddimfiguressittingonthem,asthoughlife\'sinstitutionshadshotthemoutinanendlesslineofrubbish。

  \"Ah!\"thoughtShelton,inthedreamywayoftiredpeople;\"theinstitutionsareallright;it\'sthespiritthat\'sall——\"

  \"Wrong?\"saidavoicebehindhim;\"why,ofcourse!You\'vetakenthewrongturn,oldman。\"

  Hesawapoliceman,witharedfaceshiningthroughthedarkness,talkingtoastrangeoldfigurelikesomeagedanddishevelledbird。

  \"Thankyou,constable,\"theoldmansaid,\"asI\'vecomewrongI\'lltakearest。\"Chewinghisgums,heseemedtofeartotakethelibertyofsittingdown。

  Sheltonmaderoom,andtheoldfellowtookthevacantplace。

  \"You\'llexcuseme,sir,I\'msure,\"hesaidinshakytones,andsnatchingathisbatteredhat;\"Iseeyouwasagentleman\"——andlovinglyhedweltupontheword——\"wouldn\'tdisturbyoufortheworld。I\'mnotusedtobeingoutatnight,andtheseatsdogetsofull。Oldagemustleanonsomething;you\'llexcuseme,sir,I\'msure。\"

  \"Ofcourse,\"saidSheltongently。

  \"I\'marespectableoldman,really,\"saidhisneighbour;\"Inevertookalibertyinmylife。Butatmyage,sir,yougetnervous;

  standin\'aboutthestreetsasIbeenthislastweek,an\'sleepin\'inthemdoss-houses——Oh,they\'redreadfulroughplaces——adreadfulroughlotthere!Yes,\"theoldmansaidagain,asSheltonturnedtolookathim,struckbytherealself-pityinhisvoice,\"dreadfulroughplaces!\"

  Amovementofhishead,whichgrewonalean,pluckednecklikethatofanoldfowl,hadbroughthisfaceintothelight。Itwaslong,andruntoseed,andhadalarge,rednose;itsthin,colourlesslipsweretwistedsidewaysandapart,showinghissemi-toothlessmouth;

  andhiseyeshadthatagedlookofeyesinwhichallcolourrunsintoathinrimroundtheiris;andoverthemkeptcomingfilmslikethefilmsoverparrots\'eyes。Hewas,orshouldhavebeen,clean-shaven。

  Hishair——forhehadtakenoffhishatwasthickandlank,ofdustycolour,asfarascouldbeseen,withoutaspeckofgrey,andpartedverybeautifullyjustaboutthemiddle。

  \"Icanputupwiththat,\"hesaidagain。\"Ineverinterfereswithnobody,andnobodydon\'tinterferewithme;butwhatfrightensme\"——

  hisvoicegrewsteady,asiftooterrifiedtoshake,isneverknowin\'

  daytodaywhat\'stobecomeofyer。Oh,that\'adreadful,thatis!\"

  \"Itmustbe,\"answeredShelton。

  \"Ah!itis,\"theoldmansaid;\"andthewintercumin\'on。Ineverwasmuchusedtoopenair,bein\'indomesticserviceallmylife;butIdon\'tmindthatsolongasIcanseemywaytoearnalivin\'。

  Well,thankGod!I\'vegotajobatlast\";andhisvoicegrewcheerfulsuddenly。\"Sellin\'papersisnotwhatIbeenaccustomedto;

  buttheWestminister,theytellmethat\'soneofthemostrespectableoftheevenin\'papers——infact,Iknowitis。SonowI\'msuretogeton;Itryhard。\"

  \"Howdidyougetthejob?\"askedShelton。

  \"I\'vegotmycharacter,\"theoldfellowsaid,makingagesturewithaskinnyhandtowardshischest,asifitweretherehekepthischaracter。

  \"ThankGod,nobodycan\'ttakethataway!Ineverpartsfromthat\";

  andfumbling,heproducedapacket,holdingfirstonepapertothelight,andthenanother,andhelookedanxiouslyatShelton。\"InthathousewhereIbeensleepin\'they\'renothonest;they\'vestolenaparcelofmythings——alovelyshirtan\'apairofbeautifulglovesagentlemangavemeforholdin\'ofhishorse。Now,wouldn\'tyouprosecute\'em,sir?\"

  \"Itdependsonwhatyoucanprove。\"

  \"Iknowtheyhad\'em。Amanmuststandupforhisrights;that\'sonlyproper。Ican\'taffordtolosebeautifulthingslikethem。I

  thinkIoughttoprosecute,now,don\'tyou,sir?\"

  Sheltonrestrainedasmile。

  \"There!\"saidtheoldman,smoothingoutapieceofpapershakily,\"that\'sSirGeorge!\"andhiswitheredfinger-tipstrembledonthemiddleofthepage:\'JoshuaCreed,inmyservicefiveyearsasbutler,duringwhichtimeIhavefoundhimallthataservantshouldbe。\'Andthis\'ere\'——hefumbledwithanother——\"this\'ere\'sLadyGlengow:\'JoshuaCreed——\'IthoughtI\'dlikeyoutoread\'emsinceyou\'vebeensokind。\"

  \"Willyouhaveapipe?\"

  \"Thankye,sir,\"repliedtheagedbutler,fillinghisclayfromShelton\'spouch;then,takingafronttoothbetweenhisfingerandhisthumb,hebegantofeelittenderly,workingittoandfrowithasortofmelancholypride。

  \"Myteeth\'sa-comin\'out,\"hesaid;\"butIenjoysprettygoodhealthforamanofmyage。\"

  \"Howoldisthat?\"

  \"Seventy-two!Barrin\'mycough,andmyrupture,andthis\'ereaffliction\"——hepassedhishandoverhisface——\"I\'venothingtocomplainof;everybodyhassomethink,itseems。I\'mawonderformyage,Ithink。\"

  Shelton,forallhispity,wouldhavegivenmuchtolaugh。

  \"Seventy-two!\"hesaid;\"yes,agreatage。Yourememberthecountrywhenitwasverydifferenttowhatitisnow?\"

  \"Ah!\"saidtheoldbutler,\"therewasgentrythen;Irememberthemdrivin\'downtoNewmarketmynativeplace,sirwiththeirownhorses。Therewasn\'tsomucho\'theseheremiddleclassesthen。

  Therewasmore,too,whatyoumightcallthemilko\'humankindnessinpeoplethen——noneo\'themamalgamatedstores,everymankeepin\'

  hisownlittleshop;notsoeagertocuthisneighbour\'sthroat,asyoumightsay。Andthenlookatthepriceofbread!Odear!why,itisn\'taquarterwhatitwas!\"

  \"Andarepeoplehappiernowthantheywerethen?\"askedShelton。

  Theoldbutlersuckedhispipe。

  \"No,\"heanswered,shakinghisoldhead;\"they\'velostthecontentedspirit。Iseepeoplerunnin\'hereandrunnin\'there,readin\'books,findin\'thingsout;theyain\'tnotsoself-contentedastheywere。\"

  \"Isthatpossible?\"thoughtShelton。

  \"No,\"repeatedtheoldman,againsuckingathispipe,andthistimeblowingoutalotofsmoke;\"Idon\'tseeasmuchhappinessabout,notthesamelookonthefaces。\'Tisn\'tlikely。Seethese\'eremotor-

  cars,too;theysay\'orsesisgoin\'out\";and,asifdumbfoundedathisownconclusion,hesatsilentforsometime,engagedinthelightingandrelightingofhispipe。

  Thegirlatthefarendstirred,clearedherthroat,andsettleddownagain;hermovementdisengagedascentoffrowsyclothes。Thepolicemanhadapproachedandscrutinisedtheseill-assortedfaces;

  hisglancewasjoviallycontemptuoustillhenoticedShelton,andthenwasmodifiedbycuriosity。

  \"There\'sgoodmeninthepolice,\"theagedbutlersaid,whenthepolicemanhadpassedon——\"there\'sgoodmeninthepolice,asgoodmenasyoucansee,andthere\'sthemthattreatsyoulikethedirt——

  adreadfullowclassofman。Ohdear,yes!whentheyseeyoudownintheworld,theythinktheycanspeaktoyouastheylike;Idon\'tgivethemnochancetoworryme;Ikeepsmyselftomyself,andspeakciviltoalltheworld。Youhavetoholdthecandletothem;for,ohdear!ifthey\'recrossed——someofthem——they\'readreadfulunscrup\'louslotofmen!\"

  \"Areyougoingtospendthenighthere?\"

  \"It\'sniceandwarmto-night,\"repliedtheagedbutler。\"IsaidtothemanatthatlowplaceIsaid:\'Don\'tyoueverspeaktomeagain,\'

  Isaid,\'don\'tyoucomenearme!\'Straightforwardandhonest\'sbeenmymottoallmylife;Idon\'twanttohavenothingtosaytothemlowfellows\"——hemadeanannihilatinggesture——\"afterthewaytheytreatedme,takin\'mythingslikethat。TomorrowIshallgetaroomforthreeshillin\'saweek,don\'tyouthinkso,sir?Well,thenI

  shallbeallright。I\'mnotafraidnow;themindatrest。SolongasIrankeepmyself,that\'sallIwant。Ishalldofirst-rate,I

  think\";andhestaredatShelton,butthelookinhiseyesandthehalf-scaredoptimismofhisvoiceconvincedthelatterthathelivedindread。\"SolongasIcankeepmyself,\"hesaidagain,\"Isha\'n\'tneednoworkhousenorloserespectability。\"

  \"No,\"thoughtShelton;andforsometimesatwithoutaword。\"Whenyoucan;\"hesaidatlast,\"comeandseeme;here\'smycard。\"

  Theagedbutlerbecameconsciouswithajerk,forhewasnodding。

  \"Thankye,sir;Iwill,\"hesaid,withpitifulalacrity。\"DownbyBelgravia?Oh,Iknowitwell;IliveddowninthempartswithagentlemanofthenameofBateson——perhapsyouknewhim;he\'sdeadnow——theHonourableBateson。Thankye,sir;I\'llbesuretocome\";

  and,snatchingathisbatteredhat,hetoilsomelysecretedShelton\'scardamongsthischaracter。Aminutelaterhebeganagaintonod。

  Thepolicemanpassedasecondtime;hisgazeseemedtosay,\"Now,what\'satoffdoingonthatseatwiththosetworotters?\"AndSheltoncaughthiseye。

  \"Ah!\"hethought;\"exactly!Youdon\'tknowwhattomakeofme——amanofmypositionsittinghere!Poordevil!tospendyourdaysinspyingonyourfellow-creatures!Poordevil!Butyoudon\'tknowthatyou\'reapoordevil,andsoyou\'renotone。\"

  Themanonthenextbenchsneezed——ashrillanddisapprovingsneeze。

  Thepolicemanpassedagain,and,seeingthatthelowercreatureswerebothdozing,hespoketoShelton:

  \"Notverysafeonthese\'erebenches,sir,\"hesaid;\"youneverknowwhoyoumaybesittin\'nextto。IfIwereyou,sir,Ishouldbegettin\'on——ifyou\'renotgoin\'tospendthenighthere,thatis\";

  andhelaughed,asatanadmirablejoke。

  Sheltonlookedathim,anditchedtosay,\"Whyshouldn\'tI?\"butitstruckhimthatitwouldsoundveryodd。\"Besides,\"hethought,\"I

  shallonlycatchacold\";and,withoutspeaking,helefttheseat,andwentalongtowardshisrooms。

  CHAPTERXXXIII

  THEEND

  Hereachedhisroomsatmidnightsoexhaustedthat,withoutwaitingtolightup,hedroppedintoachair。Thecurtainsandblindshadbeenremovedforcleaning,andthetallwindowsadmittedthenight\'sstaringgaze。Sheltonfixedhiseyesonthatoutsidedarkness,asonelostmanmightfixhiseyesuponanother。

  Anunaired,dustyodourclungabouttheroom,but,likesomeGod-sentwhiffofgrassorflowerswaftedtoonesometimesinthestreets,aperfumecametohim,thespicefromthewitheredclovecarnationstillclinging,tohisbutton-hole;andhesuddenlyawokefromhis。

  queertrance。Therewasadecisiontobemade。Herosetolightacandle;thedustwasthickoneverythinghetouched。\"Ugh!\"hethought,\"howwretched!\"andthelonelinessthathadseizedhimonthestoneseatatHolmOaksthedaybeforereturnedwithfearfulforce。

  Onhistable,heapedwithoutorder,wereapileofbillsandcirculars。Heopenedthem,tearingattheircoverswiththerandomhasteofmenbackfromtheirholidays。Asinglelongenvelopewasplacedapart。

  MYDEARDICK[heread],Iencloseyouherewiththereviseddraftofyourmarriagesettlement。

  Itisnowshipshape。Returnitbeforetheendoftheweek,andI

  willhaveitengrossedforsignature。IgotoScotlandnextWednesdayforamonth;shallbebackingoodtimeforyourwedding。

  Mylovetoyourmotherwhenyouseeher。

  Your-affectionateuncle,EDMUNDPARAMOR。

  Sheltonsmiledandtookoutthedraft。

  \"ThisIndenturemadethe____dayof190_,betweenRichardParamorShelton——\"

  Heputitdownandsankbackinhischair,thechairinwhichtheforeignvagranthadbeenwonttositonmorningswhenhecametopreachphilosophy。

  Hedidnotstaytherelong,butinsheerunhappinessgotup,and,takinghiscandle,roamedabouttheroom,fingeringthings,andgazinginthemirrorathisface,whichseemedtohimrepulsiveinitswretchedness。Hewentatlastintothehallandopenedthedoor,togodownstairsagainintothestreet;butthesuddencertaintythat,instreetorhouse,intownorcountry,hewouldhavetotakehistroublewithhim,madehimshutitto。Hefeltintheletter-

  box,drewforthaletter,andwiththishewentbacktothesitting-

  room。

  ItwasfromAntonia。Andsuchwashisexcitementthathewasforcedtotakethreeturnsbetweenthewindowandthewallbeforehecouldread;then,withaheartbeatingsothathecouldhardlyholdthepaper,hebegan:

  Iwaswrongtoaskyoutogoaway。Iseenowthatitwasbreakingmypromise,andIdidn\'tmeantodothat。Idon\'tknowwhythingshavecometobesodifferent。YouneverthinkasIdoaboutanything。

  IhadbettertellyouthatthatletterofMonsieurFerrand\'stomotherwasimpudent。Ofcourseyoudidn\'tknowwhatwasinit;butwhenProfessorBraynewasaskingyouabouthimatbreakfast,Ifeltthatyoubelievedthathewasrightandwewerewrong,andIcan\'tunderstandit。Andthenintheafternoon,whenthatwomanhurtherhorse,itwasallasifyouwereonherside。Howcanyoufeellikethat?

  Imustsaythis,becauseIdon\'tthinkIoughttohaveaskedyoutogoaway,andIwantyoutobelievethatIwillkeepmypromise,orI

  shouldfeelthatyouandeverybodyelsehadarighttocondemnme。

  Iwasawakealllastnight,andhaveabadheadachethismorning。I

  can\'twriteanymore。

  ANTONIA。

  Hisfirstsensationwasasortofstupefactionofreliefthathadinitanelementofanger。Hewasreprieved!Shewouldnotbreakherpromise;sheconsideredherselfbound!Inthemidstoftheexaltationofthisthoughthesmiled,andthatsmilewasstrange。

  Hereaditthroughagain,and,likeajudge,begantoweighwhatshehadwritten,herthoughtswhenshewaswriting,thefactswhichhadleduptothis。

  Thevagrant\'sfarewelldocumenthaddonethebusiness。Truetohisfatalgiftofdivestingthingsofclothing,Ferrandhadnotvanishedwithoutshowinguphispatroninhispropercolours;eventoSheltonthosecoloursweremadeplain。Antoniahadfeltherloverwasatraitor。Soundinghishearteveninhisstressofindecision,Sheltonknewthatthiswastrue。

  \"Thenintheafternoon,whenthatwomanhurtherhorse-\"Thatwoman!

  \"Itwasasifyouwereonherside!\"

  Hesawtoowellhermind,itsclearrigidity,itsintuitiveperceptionofthatwithwhichitwasnotsafetosympathise,itsinstinctforself-preservation,itsspontaneouscontemptforthosewithoutthatinstinct。Andshehadwrittenthesewordsconsideringherselfboundtohim——amanofsentiment,ofrebellioussympathies,ofuntidinessofprinciple!Herewastheanswertothequestionhehadaskedallday:\"Howhavethingscometosuchapass?\"andhebegantofeelcompassionforher。

  Poorchild!Shecouldnotjilthim;therewassomethingvulgarintheword!NevershoulditbesaidthatAntoniaDennanthadaccentedhimandthrownhimover。Noladydidthesethings!Theywereimpossible!Atthebottomofhishearthehadaqueer,unconscioussympathywith,thisimpossibility。

  Onceagainhereadtheletter,whichseemednowimpregnatedwithfreshmeaning,andtheangerwhichhadmingledwithhisfirstsensationofreliefdetacheditselfandgrewinforce。Inthatlettertherewassomethingtyrannous,adenialofhisrighttohaveaseparatepointofview。Itwaslikeafingerpointedathimasanunsoundperson。Inmarryingherhewouldbemarryingnotonlyher,butherclass——hisclass。Shewouldbetherealwaystomakehimlookonherandonhimself,andallthepeoplethattheyknewandallthethingstheydid,complacently;shewouldbetheretomakehimfeelhimselfsuperiortoeveryonewhoselifewascastinothermoralmoulds。Tofeelhimselfsuperior,notblatantly,notconsciously,butwithsubconsciousrighteousness。

  Buthisanger,whichwasliketheparoxysmthattwodaysbeforehadmadehimmutterattheConnoisseur,\"Ihateyourd——dsuperiority,\"

  struckhimallatonceasimpotentandludicrous。Whatwasthegoodofbeingangry?Hewasonthepointoflosingher!Andtheanguishofthatthought,reactingonhisanger,intensifieditthreefold。

  Shewassocertainofherself,sosuperiortoheremotions,tohernaturalimpulses——superiortoherverylongingtobefreefromhim。

  Ofthatfact,atallevents,Sheltonhadnolongeranydoubt。Itwasbeyondargument。Shedidnotreallylovehim;shewantedtobefreeofhim!

  AphotographhunginhisbedroomatHolmOaksofagrouproundthehalldoor;theHonourableCharlottePenguin,Mrs。Dennant,LadyBonington,Halidome,Mr。Dennant,andthestained-glassman——allwerethere;andontheleft-handside,lookingstraightinfrontofher,Antonia。Herfaceinitsyouthfulness,morethanallthoseothers,expressedtheirpointofview:Behindthosecalmyoungeyeslayaworldofsafetyandtradition。\"Iamnotasothersare,\"theyseemedtosay。

  AndfromthatphotographMr。andMrs。Dennantsingledthemselvesout;

  hecouldseetheirfacesastheytalked——theirfaceswithapeculiaranduneasylookonthem;andhecouldheartheirvoices,stilldecisive,butalittleacid,asiftheyhadbeenquarrelling:

  \"He\'smadeadonkeyofhimself!\"

  \"Ah!it\'stoodistressin\'!\"

  They,too,thoughthimunsound,anddidn\'twanthim;buttosavethesituationtheywouldbegladtokeephim。Shedidn\'twanthim,butsherefusedtoloseherrighttosay,\"Commonergirlsmaybreaktheirpromises;Iwillnot!\"Hesatdownatthetablebetweenthecandles,coveringhisface。Hisgriefandangergrewandgrewwithinhim。Ifshewouldnotfreeherself,thedutywasonhim!Shewasreadywithoutlovetomarryhim,asasacrificetoheridealofwhatsheoughttobe!

  Butshehadn\'t,afterall,themonopolyofpride!

  Asifshestoodbeforehim,hecouldseetheshadowsunderneathhereyesthathehaddreamedofkissing,theeagermovementsofherlips。

  Forseveralminutesheremained,notmovinghandorlimb。Thenoncemorehisangerblazed。Shewasgoingtosacrificeherselfand——him!

  Allhismanhoodscoffedatsuchasenselesssacrifice。Thatwasnotexactlywhathewanted!

  Hewenttothebureau,tookapieceofpaperandanenvelope,andwroteasfollows:

  Thereneverwas,isnot,andneverwouldhavebeenanyquestionofbeingboundbetweenus。Irefusetotradeonanysuchthing。Youareabsolutelyfree。Ourengagementisatanendbymutualconsent。

  RICHARDSHELTON。

  Hesealedit,and,sittingwithhishandsbetweenhisknees,helethisforeheaddrooplowerandlowertothetable,tillitrestedonhismarriagesettlement。Andhehadafeelingofrelief,likeonewhodropsexhaustedathisjourney\'send。

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