\"Bytheway，Icongratulateyou，oldchap，\"saidHalidome，whiledrivingtothetheatre；therewasnovulgarhurryabouthiscongratulations，nomorethanabouthimself。\"They\'reawfullynicepeople，theDennants。\"
AsenseofhavinghadasealputonhischoicecameoverShelton。
\"Whereareyougoingtolive？Yououghttocomedownandlivenearus；therearesomerippinghousestobehaddownthere；it\'sreallyarippingneighbourhood。HaveyouchuckedtheBar？Yououghttodosomething，youknow；it\'llbefatalforyoutohavenothingtodo。I
tellyouwhat，Bird:yououghttostandfortheCountyCouncil。\"
ButbeforeSheltonhadrepliedtheyreachedthetheatre，andtheirenergieswerespentinsidlingtotheirstalls。Hehadtimetopasshisneighboursinreviewbeforetheplaybegan。Seatednexttohimwasaladywithlargehealthyshoulders，displayedwithsplendidliberality；beyondherahusband，red-cheeked，withdrooping，yellow-
greymoustacheandabaldhead；beyondhimagaintwomenwhomhehadknownatEton。Oneofthemhadaclean-shavedface，darkhair，andaweather-tannedcomplexion；hissmallmouthwithitsupperlippushedoutabovethelower，hiseyelidsalittledroopedoverhiswatchfuleyes，gavehimasatiricalandresoluteexpression。\"I\'vegotholdofyourtail，oldfellow，\"heseemedtosay，asthoughhewerealwaysbusywiththecatchingofsomekindoffox。Theother\'sgogglingeyesrestedonSheltonwithachaffingsmile；histhick，sleekhair，brushedwithwaterandpartedinthemiddle，hisneatmoustacheandadmirablewaistcoat，suggestedthesortofdandyismthatdespiseswomen。FromhisrecognitionoftheseoldschoolfellowsSheltonturnedtolookatHalidome，who，havingclearedhisthroat，wasstaringstraightbeforehimatthecurtain。Antonia\'swordskeptrunninginherlover\'shead，\"Idon\'tlikeunhealthypeople。\"Well，allthesepeople，anyway，werehealthy；theylookedasiftheyhaddefiedtheelementstoendowthemwithasparkofanythingbuthealth。Justthenthecurtainrose。
Slowly，unwillingly，forhewasofatrustfuldisposition，Sheltonrecognisedthatthisplaywasoneofthosemasterpiecesofthemoderndramawhosecharactersweredrawnontheprinciplethatmenweremadeformoralsratherthanmoralsmadebymen，andhewatchedtheplayunfoldwithallitscarefulsandwichingofgraveandgay。
Amarriedwomananxioustoberiddedofherhusbandwasthepivotofthestory，andanumberofscenes，ingeniouslycontrived，withahundredreasonswhythisdesirewaswrongandinexpedient，wererevealedtoShelton\'seyes。Thesereasonsissuedmainlyfromthemouthofawell-preservedoldgentlemanwhoseemedtoplaythepartofasortofMoralSalesman。HeturnedtoHalidomeandwhispered:
\"Canyoustandthatoldwoman？\"
Hisfriendfixedhisfineeyesonhimwonderingly。
\"Whatoldwoman？\"
\"Why，theoldasswiththeplatitudes!\"
Halidome\'scountenancegrewcold，alittleshocked，asthoughhehadbeenassailedinperson。
\"DoyoumeanPirbright？\"hesaid。\"Ithinkhe\'sripping。\"
Sheltonturnedtotheplayrebuffed；hefeltguiltyofabreachofmanners，sittingashewasinoneofhisfriend\'sstalls，andhenaturallysettoworktowatchtheplaymorecriticallythanever。
Antonia\'swordsagainrecurredtohim，\"Idon\'tlikeunhealthypeople，\"andtheyseemedtothrowasuddenlightuponthisplay。Itwashealthy!
Thescenewasadrawing-room，softlylightedbyelectriclamps，withacatSheltoncouldnotdecidewhethershewasrealornotasleepuponthemat。
Thehusband，athick-set，healthymanineveningdress，wasdrinkingoffneatwhisky。Heputdownhistumbler，anddeliberatelystruckamatch；thenwithevengreaterdeliberationhelitagold-tippedcigarette……
Sheltonwasnoinexperiencedplay-goer。Heshiftedhiselbows，forhefeltthatsomethingwasabouttohappen；andwhenthematchwaspitchedintothefire，heleanedforwardinhisseat。Thehusbandpouredmorewhiskyout，drankitatadraught，andwalkedtowardsthedoor；then，turningtotheaudienceasiftoadmitthemtothesecretofsometremendousresolution，hepuffedatthemapuffofsmoke。Helefttheroom，returned，andoncemorefilledhisglass。Aladynowentered，paleoffaceanddarkofeye——hiswife。Thehusbandcrossedthestage，andstoodbeforethefire，hislegsastride，intheattitudewhichsomehowSheltonhadfeltsurehewouldassume。Hespoke:
\"Comein，andshutthedoor。\"
Sheltonsuddenlyperceivedthathewasfacetofacewithoneofthosedumbmomentsinwhichtwopeopledeclaretheirinextinguishablehatred——thehatredunderlyingthesexualintimacyoftwoill-
assortedcreatures——andhewassuddenlyremindedofascenehehadoncewitnessedinarestaurant。Herememberedwithextrememinutenesshowthewomanandthemanhadsatfacingeachotheracrossthenarrowpatchofwhite，emblazonedbyacandlewithcheapshadesandathingreenvasewithyellowflowers。Herememberedthecuriousscornfulangeroftheirvoices，subduedsothatonlyafewwordsreachedhim。Herememberedthecoldloathingintheireyes。And，aboveall，herememberedhisimpressionthatthissortofscenehappenedbetweenthemeveryotherday，andwouldcontinuesotohappen；andasheputonhisovercoatandpaidhisbillhehadaskedhimself，\"Whyinthenameofdecencydotheygoonlivingtogether？\"
Andnowhethought，ashelistenedtothetwoplayerswranglingonthestage:\"What\'sthegoodofallthistalk？There\'ssomethingherepastwords。\"
Thecurtaincamedownupontheact，andhelookedattheladynexthim。Shewasshrugginghershouldersatherhusband，whosefacewashealthyandoffended。
\"Idodisliketheseunhealthywomen，\"hewassaying，butcatchingShelton\'seyeheturnedsquareinhisseatandsniffedironically。
ThefaceofShelton\'sfriendbeyond，composed，satiricalasever，wasclothedwithamaskofscornfulcuriosity，asifhehadbeenlisteningtosomethingthathaddispleasedhimnotalittle。Thegoggle-eyedmanwasyawning。SheltonturnedtoHalidome:
\"Canyoustandthissortofthing？\"saidhe。
\"No；Icallthatsceneabittoohot，\"repliedhisfriend。
Sheltonwriggled；hehadmeanttosayitwasnothotenough。
\"I\'llbetyouanything，\"hesaid，\"Iknowwhat\'sgoingtohappennow。
You\'llhavethatoldass——what\'shisname？——lunchingoffcutletsandchampagnetofortifyhimself——foralecturetothewife。He\'llshowherhowunhealthyherfeelingsare——Iknowhim——andhe\'lltakeherhandandsay，\'Dearlady，isthereanythinginthispoorworldbutthegoodopinionofSociety？\'andhe\'llpretendtolaughathimselfforsayingit；butyou\'llseeperfectlywellthattheoldwomanmeansit。Andthenhe\'llputherintoasetofcircumstancesthataren\'therownbuthisversionofthem，andshowhertheonlywayofsalvationistokissherhusband\"；andSheltongrinned。\"Anyway，I\'llbetyouanythinghetakesherhandandsays，\'Dearlady。\'\"
Halidometurnedonhimthedisapprovalofhiseyes，andagainhesaid，\"IthinkPirbright\'sripping!\"
ButasSheltonhadpredicted，soitturnedout，amidstgreatapplause。
CHAPTERV
THEGOODCITIZEN
Leavingthetheatre，theypausedamomentinthehalltodontheircoats；astreamofpeoplewithspotlessbosomseddiedroundthedoors，asifinmomentarydreadofleavingthishothouseoffalsemoralsandemotionsforthewet，gustystreets，wherehumanplantsthriveanddie，humanweedsflourishandfadeunderthefresh，impartialskies。Thelightsrevealedinnumerablesolemnfaces，gleamedinnumerablyonjewels，onthesilkofhats，thenpassedtowhitenapavementwetwithnewly-fallenrain，toflareonhorses，onthevisagesofcabmen，andstray，queerobjectsthatdonotbearthelight。
\"Shallwewalk？\"askedHalidome。
\"Hasiteverstruckyou，\"answeredShelton，\"thatinaplaynowadaysthere\'salwaysa\'ChorusofScandalmongers\'whichseemstohaveacquiredtheattitudeofGod？\"
Halidomeclearedhisthroat，andtherewassomethingportentousinthesound。
\"You\'resod——dfastidious，\"washisanswer。
\"I\'veaprejudiceforkeepingthetwothingsseparate，\"wentonShelton。\"Thatendingmakesmesick。\"
\"Why？\"repliedHalidome。\"Whatotherendispossible？Youdon\'twantaplaytoleaveyouwithabadtasteinyourmouth。\"
\"Butthisdoes。\"
Halidomeincreasedhisstride，alreadymuchtoolong；forinhiswalk，asinallotherphasesofhislife，hefounditnecessarytobeinfront。
\"Howdoyoumean？\"heaskedurbanely；\"it\'sbetterthanthewomanmakingafoolofherself。\"
\"I\'mthinkingoftheman。\"
\"Whatman？\"
\"Thehusband。\"
\"What\'sthematterwithhim？Hewasabitofabounder，certainly。\"
\"Ican\'tunderstandanymanwantingtolivewithawomanwhodoesn\'twanthim。\"
SomenoteofbattleinShelton\'svoice，ratherthanthesentimentitself，causedhisfriendtoreplywithdignity:
\"There\'salotofnonsensetalkedaboutthatsortofthing。Womendon\'treallycare；it\'sonlywhat\'sputintotheirheads。\"
\"That\'smuchthesameassayingtoastarvingman:\'Youdon\'treallywantanything；it\'sonlywhat\'sputintoyourhead!\'Youarebeggingthequestion，myfriend。\"
ButnothingwasmorecalculatedtoannoyHalidomethantotellhimhewas\"beggingthequestion，\"forhepridedhimselfonbeingstronginlogic。
\"Thatbed——d，\"hesaid。
\"Notatall，oldchap。Hereisacasewhereawomanwantsherfreedom，andyoumerelyanswerthatshedogsn\'twantit。\"
\"Womenlikethatareimpossible；betterleavethemoutofcourt。\"
Sheltonponderedthisandsmiled；hehadrecollectedanacquaintanceofhisown，who，whenhiswifehadlefthim，inventedthetheorythatshewasmad，andthisstruckhimnowasfunny。Butthenhethought:
\"Poordevil!hewasboundtocallhermad!Ifhedidn\'t，itwouldbeconfessinghimselfdistasteful；howevertrue，youcan\'texpectamantoconsiderhimselfthat。\"Butaglanceathisfriend\'seyewarnedhimthathe，too，mightthinkhiswifemadinsuchacase。
\"Surely，\"hesaid，\"evenifshe\'shiswife，aman\'sboundtobehavelikeagentleman。\"
\"Dependsonwhethershebehaveslikealady。\"
\"Doesit？Idon\'tseetheconnection。\"
Halidomepausedintheactofturningthelatch-keyinhisdoor；
therewasaratherangrysmileinhisfineeyes。
\"Mydearchap，\"hesaid，\"you\'retoosentimentalaltogether。\"
Theword\"sentimental\"nettledShelton。\"Agentlemaneitherisagentlemanorheisn\'t；whathasittodowiththewayotherpeoplebehave？\"
Halidometurnedthekeyinthelockandopenedthedoorintohishall，wherethefirelightfellonthedecantersandhugechairsdrawntowardstheblaze。
\"No，Bird，\"hesaid，resuminghisurbanity，andgatheringhiscoat-
tailsinhishands；\"it\'sallverywelltotalk，butwaituntilyou\'remarried。Amanmustbemaster，andshowit，too。\"
AnideaoccurredtoShelton。
\"Lookhere，Hal，\"hesaid:\"whatshouldyoudoifyourwifegottiredofyou？\"
TheexpressiononHalidome\'sfacewasamixtureofamusementandcontempt。
\"Idon\'tmeananythingpersonal，ofcourse，butapplythesituationtoyourself。\"
Halidometookoutatoothpick，useditbrusquely，andresponded:
\"Ishouldn\'tstandanyhumbug——takehertravelling；shakehermindup。She\'dsooncomeround。\"
\"Butsupposeshereallyloathedyou？\"
Halidomeclearedhisthroat；theideawassoobviouslyindecent。Howcouldanybodyloathehim？Withgreatcomposure，however，regardingSheltonasifhewereaforwardbutamusingchild，heanswered:
\"Thereareagreatmanythingstobetakenintoconsideration。\"
\"Itappearstome，\"saidShelton，\"tobeaquestionofcommonpride。
\"Amanoughtnottosuffer，\"hesaid，poringoverhiswhisky，\"becauseawomangetshysteria。YouhavetothinkofSociety，yourchildren，house，moneyarrangements，athousandthings。It\'sallverywelltotalk。Howdoyoulikethiswhisky？\"
\"Thepartofthegoodcitizen，infact，\"saidShelton，\"self-
preservation!\"
\"Common-sense，\"returnedhisfriend；\"Ibelieveinjusticebeforesentiment。\"Hedrank，andcallouslyblewsmokeatShelton。
\"Besides，therearemanypeoplewithreligiousviewsaboutit。\"
\"It\'salwaysseemedtome，\"saidShelton，\"tobequaintthatpeopleshouldassertthatmarriagegivesthemtherightto\'aneyeforaneye，\'andcallthemselvesChristians。Didyoueverknowanybodystandontheirrightsexceptoutofwoundedprideorforthesakeoftheirowncomfort？Letthemcalltheirreasonswhattheylike，youknowaswellasIdothatit\'scant。\"
\"Idon\'tknowaboutthat，\"saidHalidome，moreandmoresuperiorasSheltongrewmorewarm；\"whenyoustandonyourrights，youdoitforthesakeofSocietyaswellasforyourown。Ifyouwanttodoawaywithmarriage，whydon\'tyousayso？\"
\"ButIdon\'t，\"saidShelton:\"isitlikely？Why，I\'mgoing——\"Hestoppedwithoutaddingthewords\"tobemarriedmyself，\"foritsuddenlyoccurredtohimthatthereasonwasnotthemostloftyandphilosophicintheworld。\"AllIcansayis，\"hewentonsoberly，\"thatyoucan\'tmakeahorsedrinkbydrivinghim。Generosityisthesurestwayoftighteningtheknotwithpeoplewho\'veanysenseofdecency；astotherest，thechiefthingistopreventtheirbreeding。\"
Halidomesmiled。
\"You\'rearumchap，\"hesaid。
Sheltonjerkedhiscigaretteintothefire。
\"Itellyouwhat\"——forlateatnightacertainpowerofvisioncametohim——\"it\'shumbugtotalkofdoingthingsforthesakeofSociety；
it\'snothingbuttheinstincttokeepourownheadsabovethewater。\"
ButHalidomeremainedunruffled。
\"Allright，\"hesaid，\"callitthat。Idon\'tseewhyIshouldgotothewall；itwouldn\'tdoanygood。\"
\"Youadmit，then，\"saidShelton，\"thatourmoralityisthesumtotalofeverybody\'sprivateinstinctofself-preservation？\"
Halidomestretchedhissplendidframeandyawned。
\"Idon\'tknow，\"hebegan，\"thatIshouldquitecallitthat——\"
Butthecompellingcomplacencyofhisfineeyes，thedignifiedpostureofhishealthybody，theloftyslopeofhisnarrowforehead，theperfectlyhumanelookofhiscultivatedbrutality，struckSheltonasridiculous。
\"Hangit，Hall\"hecried，jumpingfromhischair，\"whatanoldfraudyouare!I\'llbeoff。\"
\"No，lookhere!\"saidHalidome；thefaintestshadeofdoubthadappeareduponhisface；hetookSheltonbyalapel:\"You\'requitewrong——\"
\"Verylikely；good-night，oldchap!\"