第53章

　　Whenyoufirstknewhim？Whenhismotherwasalive？’MollyhadgrownveryfondofAim&eacute；e：whenthelatterwasathercaseshehadverycharmingandattachingways；butfeelinguneasyinherpositioninthesquire’shouse，shewasalmostrepellenttohim；andhe，too，putonhisworstsidetoher。Rogerwasmostanxioustobringthemtogether，andhadseveralconsultationswithMollyastothebestmeansofaccomplishingthisend。Aslongastheytalkeduponthissubjectshespoketohiminthequietsensiblemannerwhichsheinheritedfromherfather；butwhentheirdiscussionsonthispointwereended，shefellbackintoherpiquantassumptionofdignifiedreserve。Itwasverydifficulttohertomaintainthisstrangemanner，especiallywhenonceortwiceshefanciedthatitgavehimpain；andshewouldgointoherownroomandsuddenlyburstintotearsontheseoccasions，andwishthathervisitwasended，andthatshewasonceagainintheeventlesstranquillityofherownhome。Yetpresentlyherfancychanged，andsheclungtotheswiftlypassinghours，asifshewouldstillretainthehappinessofeach。For，unknowntoher，Rogerwasexertinghimselftomakehervisitpleasant。Hewasnotwillingtoappearastheinstigatorofallthelittleplansforeachday，forhefeltasifsomehowhedidnotholdthesameplaceinherregardasformerly。Still，onedayAim&eacute；esuggestedanuttingexpedition—anotherdaytheygavelittleRogertheunheard—ofpleasureofteaout—of—doors—therewassomethingelseagreeableforathird；anditwasRogerwhoarrangedallthesesimplepleasures—suchasheknewMollywouldenjoy。ButtoherheonlyappearedasthereadyforwarderofAim&eacute；e’sdevices。Theweekwasnearlygone，whenonemorningthesquirefoundRogersittingintheoldlibrary—withabookbeforehim，itistrue，butsodeepinthoughtthathewasevidentlystartledbyhisfather’sunexpectedentrance。’IthoughtIshouldfindtheehere，mylad！We’llhavetheoldroomdoneupagainbeforewinter；itsmellsmustyenough，andyetIseeit’stheplaceforthee！Iwanttheetogowithmeroundthefive—acre。I’mthinkingoflayingitdowningrass。It’stimeforyoutobegettingintothefreshair，youlookquitewoebegoneoverbooks，books，books；thereneverwasathinglike’emforstealingaman’shealthoutofhim！’SoRogerwentoutwithhisfather，withoutsayingmanywordstilltheywereatsomedistancefromthehouse。Thenhebroughtoutasentencewithsuchabruptnessthatherepaidhisfatherforthestartthelatterhadgivenhimaquarterofanhourbefore。’Father，yourememberI’mgoingoutagaintotheCapenextmonth！Youspokeofdoingupthelibrary。Ifitisforme，Ishallbeawayallthewinter。’’Can’tyougetoffit？’pleadedhisfather。’Ithoughtmaybeyou’dforgottenallaboutit—’’Notlikely！’saidRoger，half—smiling。’Well，buttheymighthavefoundanothermantofinishupyourwork。’’Noonecanfinishitbutmyself。Besides，anengagementisanengagement。

　　WhenIwrotetoLordHollingfordtotellhimImustcomehome，Ipromisedtogooutagainforanothersixmonths。’’Ay。Iknow。Andperhapsitwillputitoutofthymind。Itwillalwaysbehardonmetopartfromthee。ButIdaresayit’sbestforyou。’Roger’scolourdeepened。’Youarealludingto—toMissKirkpatrick—MrsHenderson，Imean。Father，letmetellyouonceforallIthinkthatwasratherahastyaffair。Iamprettysurenowthatwewerenotsuitedtoeachother。IwaswretchedwhenIgotherletter—attheCapeImean—

　　butIbelieveitwasforthebest。’’That’sright。That’smyownboy，’saidthesquire，turningroundandshakinghandswithhissonwithvehemence。’AndnowI’lltellyouwhatIheardtheotherday，whenIwasatthemagistrates’meeting。TheywereallsayingshehadjiltedPreston。’’Idon’twanttohearanythingagainsther：shemayhaveherfaults，butIcanneverforgethowIoncelovedher。’’Well，well！Perhapsit’sright。Iwasnotsobadaboutit，wasI，Roger？

　　PoorOsborneneednotha’beensosecretwithme。IaskedyourMissCynthiaouthere—andhermotherandall—mybarkisworsethanmybite。ForifIhadawishonearthitwastoseeOsbornemarriedasbefittedoneofanoldstock，andhewentandchoseoutthisFrenchgirl，ofnofamilyatall，onlya——’’Nevermindwhatshewas；lookatwhatsheis！Iwonderyouarenotmoretakenwithherhumilityandsweetness，father！’’Idon’tevencallherpretty，’saidthesquire，uneasily，forhedreadedarepetitionoftheargumentswhichRogerhadoftenusedtomakehimgiveAim&eacute；eherproperdueofaffectionandposition。’NowyourMissCynthiawaspretty，Iwillsaythatforher，thebaggage！andtothinkthatwhenyoutwoladsflewrightinyourfather’sface，andpickedoutgirlsbelowyouinrankandfamily，youshouldneitherofyouhavesetyourfanciesonmylittleMollythere。IdaresayIshouldha’beenangryenoughatthetime，butthelassiewouldha’foundherwaytomyheart，asneverthisFrenchlady，nort’otherone，couldha’done。’Rogerdidnotanswer。’Idon’tseewhyyoumightnotputupforherstill。I’mhumbleenoughnow，andyou’renotheirasOsbornewaswhomarriedaservant—maid。Don’tyouthinkyoucouldturnyourthoughtsuponMollyGibson，Roger。’’No！’saidRoger，shortly。’It’stoolate—toolate。Don’tletustalkanymoreofmymarrying。Isnotthisthefive—acrefield？’Andsoonhewasdiscussingtherelativevaluesofmeadow，arableandpasturelandwithhisfather，asheartilyasifhehadneverknownMolly，orlovedCynthia。

　　Butthesquirewasnotinsuchgoodspirits，andwentbutheavilyintothediscussion。Attheendofithesaid&agrave；proposdebottes，—’Butdon’tyouthinkyoucouldlikeherifyoutried，Roger？’Rogerknewperfectlywelltowhathisfatherwasalluding，butforaninstanthewasonthepointofpretendingtomisunderstand。Atlength，however，hesaid，inalowvoice，—’Ishallnevertry，father。Don’tletustalkanymoreaboutit。AsIsaidbefore，itistoolate。’Thesquirewaslikeachildtowhomsometoyhasbeenrefused；fromtimetotimethethoughtofhisdisappointmentinthismatterrecurredtohismind；andthenhetooktoblamingCynthiaastheprimarycauseofRoger’spresentindifferencetowomankind。ItsohappenedthatonMolly’slastmorningattheHall，shereceivedherfirstletterfromCynthia—MrsHenderson。Itwasjustbeforebreakfast—time：