第22章

　　chapter23CHAPTERXXIIIOSBORNEHAMLEYREVIEWSHISPOSITIONOsbornehadhissolitarycupofcoffeeinthedrawing—room。Hewasveryunhappytoo，afterhisfashion。Hestoodonthehearth—rugponderingoverhissituation。Hewasnotexactlyawarehowhardlyhisfatherwaspressedforready—money；thesquirehadneverspokentohimonthesubjectwithoutbeingangry；andmanyofhisloosecontradictorystatements—allofwhich，howevercontradictorytheymightappear，hadtheirbasisintruth—weresetdownbyhissontotheexaggerationofpassion。ButitwasuncomfortableenoughtoayoungmanofOsborne’sagetofeelhimselfcontinuallyhamperedforwantofafive—poundnote。Theprincipalsuppliesfortheliberal—

　　almostluxurioustableattheHall，cameofftheestate；sothattherewasnoappearanceofpovertyasfarasthehouseholdwent；andaslongasOsbornewascontentathome，hehadeverythinghecouldwishfor；buthehadawifeelsewhere—hewantedtoseehercontinually—andthatnecessitatedjourneys。She，poorthing！hadtobesupported：wherewasthemoneyforthejourneysandforAim&eacute；e’smodestwantstocomefrom？ThatwasthepuzzleinOsborne’smindjustnow。Whilehehadbeenatcollegehisallowance—heiroftheHamleys—hadbeenthreehundred，whileRogerhadtobecontentwithahundredless。Thepaymentoftheseannualsumshadgiventhesquireagooddealoftrouble；buthethoughtofitasamerelytemporaryinconvenience，perhapsunreasonablythoughtso。Osbornewastodogreatthings；takehighhonours，getafellowship，marryalong—descendedheiress，liveinsomeofthemanyuninhabitedroomsattheHall，andhelpthesquireinthemanagementoftheestatethatwouldsometimebehis。

　　Rogerwastobeaclergyman；steady，slowRogerwasjustfittedforthat，andwhenhedeclinedenteringtheChurch，preferringalifeofmoreactivityandadventure，Rogerwastobe—anything；hewasusefulandpractical，andfitforalltheemploymentsfromwhichOsbornewasshutoutbyhisfastidiousness，andhis（pseudo）genius；soitwaswellhewasaneldestson，forhewouldneverhavedonetostrugglethroughtheworld；andasforhissettlingdowntoaprofession，itwouldbelikecuttingblockswitharazor！AndnowherewasOsborne，livingathome，butlongingtobeelsewhere；hisallowancestoppedinreality；indeedthepunctualpaymentofitduringthelastyearortwohadbeenowingtohismother’sexertions；

　　butnothinghadbeensaidaboutitspresentcessationbyeitherfatherorson：moneymattersweretoosoreasubjectbetweenthem。Everynowandthenthesquirethrewhimaten—poundnoteorso；butthesortofsuppressedgrowlwithwhichtheyweregiven，andtheentireuncertaintyastowhenhemightreceivethem，renderedanycalculationbasedupontheirreceiptexceedinglyvagueanduncertain。’WhatintheworldcanIdotosecureanincome？’thoughtOsborne，ashestoodonthehearth—rug，hisbacktoablazingfire，hiscupofcoffeesentupintherareoldchinathathadbelongedtotheHallforgenerations；

　　hisdressfinished，asdressofOsborne’scouldhardlyfailtobe。Onecouldhardlyhavethoughtthatthiselegantyoungman，standingthereinthemidstofcomfortthatvergedonluxury，shouldhavebeenturningoverthatonegreatprobleminhismind；butsoitwas。’WhatcanIdotobesureofapresentincome？Thingscannotgoonastheyare。Ishouldneedsupportfortwoorthreeyears，evenifIenteredmyselfattheTemple，orLincoln’sInn。’Itwouldbeimpossibleforliveonmypayinthearmy；