The Queen of Hearts

第4章

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第4章

The Queen of Hearts Martha Brooks

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The Queen of Hearts
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  Slowly,outoftheawfulshadows,theGhostsofMemoryroseaboutme。Thedeadpopulationofavanishedworldcamebacktoliferoundme,alivingman。Menandwomenwhoseearthlypilgrimagehadendedlongsince,returneduponmefromtheunknownspheres,andfond,familiarvoicesbursttheirwaybacktomyearsthroughtheheavysilenceofthegrave。Movingbymeinthenamelessinnerlight,whichnoeyesawbutmine,thedeadprocessionofimmaterialscenesandbeingsunrolleditssilentlength。Isawoncemorethepleadingfaceofafriendofearlydays,withthehauntingvisionthathadtorturedhimthroughlifebyhissideagain——withthelong—forgottendespairinhiseyeswhichhadoncetouchedmyheart,andboundmetohim,tillIhadtrackedhisdestinythroughitsdarkestwindingstotheend。Isawthefigureofaninnocentwomanpassingtoandfroinanancientcountryhouse,withtheshadowofastrangesuspicionstealingafterherwherevershewent。Isawamanwornbyhardshipandoldage,stretcheddreamingonthestrawofastable,andmutteringinhisdreamtheterriblesecretofhislife。

  Otherscenesandpersonsfollowedthese,lessvividintheirrevival,butstillalwaysrecognizableanddistinct;ayounggirlalonebynight,andinperilofherlife,inacottageonadrearymoor——anupperchamberofaninn,withtwobedsinit;thecurtainsofonebedclosed,andamanstandingbythem,waiting,yetdreadingtodrawthemback——ahusbandsecretlyfollowingthefirsttracesofamysterywhichhiswife’sanxiouslovehadfatallyhiddenfromhimsincethedaywhentheyfirstmet;these,andothervisionslikethem,shadowyreflectionsofthelivingbeingsandtherealeventsthathadbeenonce,peopledthesolitudeandtheemptinessaroundme。TheyhauntedmestillwhenItriedtobreakthechainofthoughtwhichmyowneffortshadwoundaboutmymind;theyfollowedmetoandfrointheroom;andtheycameoutwithmewhenIleftit。IhadliftedtheveilfromthePastformyself,andIwasnowtorestnomoretillIhadlifteditforothers。

  Iwentatoncetomyeldestbrotherandshowedhimmyson’sletter,andtoldhimallthatIhavewrittenhere。Hiskindheartwastouchedasminehadbeen。Hefeltformysuspense;hesharedmyanxiety;helaidasidehisownoccupationonthespot。

  \"Onlytellme,\"hesaid,\"howIcanhelp,andIwillgiveeveryhourinthedaytoyouandtoGeorge。\"

  Ihadcometohimwithmymindalmostasfullofhispastlifeasofmyown;IrecalledtohismemoryeventsinhisexperienceasaworkingclergymaninLondon;Isethimlookingamongpaperswhichhehadpreservedforhalfhislifetime,andtheveryexistenceofwhichhehadforgottenlongsince;Irecalledtohimthenamesofpersonstowhosenecessitieshehadministeredinhissacredoffice,andwhosestorieshehadheardfromtheirownlipsorreceivedundertheirownhandwriting。Whenwepartedhewascertainofwhathewaswantedtodo,andwasresoluteonthatverydaytobeginthework。

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