Iwascompletelyfooledbythis，andfortwodaysshutmyselfupinmyownroomwheneverBerthawasabsent，thatImightintoxicatemyselfafreshwiththethoughtofthissceneandallitimplied。
Ishouldmentionthatduringthesetwomonths——whichseemedalonglifetomefromthenoveltyandintensityofthepleasuresandpainsIunderwent——mydiseasedanticipationinotherpeople’sconsciousnesscontinuedtotormentme；nowitwasmyfather，andnowmybrother，nowMrs。Filmoreorherhusband，andnowourGermancourier，whosestreamofthoughtrusheduponmelikearingingintheearsnottobegotridof，thoughitallowedmyownimpulsesandideastocontinuetheiruninterruptedcourse。Itwaslikeapreternaturallyheightenedsenseofhearing，makingaudibletoonearoarofsoundwhereothersfindperfectstillness。ThewearinessanddisgustofthisinvoluntaryintrusionintoothersoulswascounteractedonlybymyignoranceofBertha，andmygrowingpassionforher；apassionenormouslystimulated，ifnotproduced，bythatignorance。Shewasmyoasisofmysteryinthedrearydesertofknowledge。Ihadneverallowedmydiseasedconditiontobetrayitself，ortodrivemeintoanyunusualspeechoraction，exceptonce，when，inamomentofpeculiarbitternessagainstmybrother，IhadforestalledsomewordswhichIknewhewasgoingtoutter——acleverobservation，whichhehadpreparedbeforehand。Hehadoccasionallyaslightlyaffectedhesitationinhisspeech，andwhenhepausedaninstantafterthesecondword，myimpatienceandjealousyimpelledmetocontinuethespeechforhim，asifitweresomethingwehadbothlearnedbyrote。Hecolouredandlookedastonished，aswellasannoyed；andthewordshadnosoonerescapedmylipsthanIfeltashockofalarmlestsuchananticipationofwords——veryfarfrombeingwordsofcourse，easytodivine——shouldhavebetrayedmeasanexceptionalbeing，asortofquietenergumen，whomeveryone，Berthaaboveall，wouldshudderatandavoid。ButImagnified，asusual，theimpressionanywordordeedofminecouldproduceonothers；fornoonegaveanysignofhavingnoticedmyinterruptionasmorethanarudeness，tobeforgivenmeonthescoreofmyfeeblenervouscondition。
Whilethissuperaddedconsciousnessoftheactualwasalmostconstantwithme，IhadneverhadarecurrenceofthatdistinctprevisionwhichIhavedescribedinrelationtomyfirstinterviewwithBertha；andIwaswaitingwitheagercuriositytoknowwhetherornotmyvisionofPraguewouldprovetohavebeenaninstanceofthesamekind。Afewdaysaftertheincidentoftheopalring，wewerepayingoneofourfrequentvisitstotheLichtenbergPalace。
Icouldneverlookatmanypicturesinsuccession；forpictures，whentheyareatallpowerful，affectmesostronglythatoneortwoexhaustallmycapabilityofcontemplation。ThismorningIhadbeenlookingatGiorgione’spictureofthecruel-eyedwoman，saidtobealikenessofLucreziaBorgia。Ihadstoodlongalonebeforeit，fascinatedbytheterriblerealityofthatcunning，relentlessface，tillIfeltastrangepoisonedsensation，asifIhadlongbeeninhalingafatalodour，andwasjustbeginningtobeconsciousofitseffects。PerhapseventhenIshouldnothavemovedaway，iftherestofthepartyhadnotreturnedtothisroom，andannouncedthattheyweregoingtotheBelvedereGallerytosettleabetwhichhadarisenbetweenmybrotherandMr。Filmoreaboutaportrait。I
followedthemdreamily，andwashardlyalivetowhatoccurredtilltheyhadallgoneuptothegallery，leavingmebelow；forI