The Lifted Veil

第2章

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第2章

The Lifted Veil George Eliot [Mary Anne Evans]

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The Lifted Veil
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  Whenmymindhaddweltforsometimeonthisblissfulidea,itseemedtomethatImightperhapstestitbyanexertionofmywill。ThevisionhadbegunwhenmyfatherwasspeakingofourgoingtoPrague。Ididnotforamomentbelieveitwasreallyarepresentationofthatcity;Ibelieved——Ihopeditwasapicturethatmynewlyliberatedgeniushadpaintedinfieryhaste,withthecolourssnatchedfromlazymemory。SupposeIweretofixmymindonsomeotherplace——Venice,forexample,whichwasfarmorefamiliartomyimaginationthanPrague:perhapsthesamesortofresultwouldfollow。IconcentratedmythoughtsonVenice;I

  stimulatedmyimaginationwithpoeticmemories,andstrovetofeelmyselfpresentinVenice,asIhadfeltmyselfpresentinPrague。

  Butinvain。IwasonlycolouringtheCanalettoengravingsthathunginmyoldbedroomathome;thepicturewasashiftingone,mymindwanderinguncertainlyinsearchofmorevividimages;Icouldseenoaccidentofformorshadowwithoutconsciouslabourafterthenecessaryconditions。Itwasallprosaiceffort,notraptpassivity,suchasIhadexperiencedhalfanhourbefore。Iwasdiscouraged;butIrememberedthatinspirationwasfitful。

  ForseveraldaysIwasinastateofexcitedexpectation,watchingforarecurrenceofmynewgift。Isentmythoughtsrangingovermyworldofknowledge,inthehopethattheywouldfindsomeobjectwhichwouldsendareawakeningvibrationthroughmyslumberinggenius。Butno;myworldremainedasdimasever,andthatflashofstrangelightrefusedtocomeagain,thoughIwatchedforitwithpalpitatingeagerness。

  Myfatheraccompaniedmeeverydayinadrive,andagraduallylengtheningwalkasmypowersofwalkingincreased;andoneeveninghehadagreedtocomeandfetchmeattwelvethenextday,thatwemightgotogethertoselectamusicalbox,andotherpurchasesrigorouslydemandedofarichEnglishmanvisitingGeneva。Hewasoneofthemostpunctualofmenandbankers,andIwasalwaysnervouslyanxioustobequitereadyforhimattheappointedtime。

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