Whenmymindhaddweltforsometimeonthisblissfulidea,itseemedtomethatImightperhapstestitbyanexertionofmywill。ThevisionhadbegunwhenmyfatherwasspeakingofourgoingtoPrague。Ididnotforamomentbelieveitwasreallyarepresentationofthatcity;Ibelieved——Ihopeditwasapicturethatmynewlyliberatedgeniushadpaintedinfieryhaste,withthecolourssnatchedfromlazymemory。SupposeIweretofixmymindonsomeotherplace——Venice,forexample,whichwasfarmorefamiliartomyimaginationthanPrague:perhapsthesamesortofresultwouldfollow。IconcentratedmythoughtsonVenice;I
stimulatedmyimaginationwithpoeticmemories,andstrovetofeelmyselfpresentinVenice,asIhadfeltmyselfpresentinPrague。
Butinvain。IwasonlycolouringtheCanalettoengravingsthathunginmyoldbedroomathome;thepicturewasashiftingone,mymindwanderinguncertainlyinsearchofmorevividimages;Icouldseenoaccidentofformorshadowwithoutconsciouslabourafterthenecessaryconditions。Itwasallprosaiceffort,notraptpassivity,suchasIhadexperiencedhalfanhourbefore。Iwasdiscouraged;butIrememberedthatinspirationwasfitful。
ForseveraldaysIwasinastateofexcitedexpectation,watchingforarecurrenceofmynewgift。Isentmythoughtsrangingovermyworldofknowledge,inthehopethattheywouldfindsomeobjectwhichwouldsendareawakeningvibrationthroughmyslumberinggenius。Butno;myworldremainedasdimasever,andthatflashofstrangelightrefusedtocomeagain,thoughIwatchedforitwithpalpitatingeagerness。
Myfatheraccompaniedmeeverydayinadrive,andagraduallylengtheningwalkasmypowersofwalkingincreased;andoneeveninghehadagreedtocomeandfetchmeattwelvethenextday,thatwemightgotogethertoselectamusicalbox,andotherpurchasesrigorouslydemandedofarichEnglishmanvisitingGeneva。Hewasoneofthemostpunctualofmenandbankers,andIwasalwaysnervouslyanxioustobequitereadyforhimattheappointedtime。