The Tinker’s Wedding

第24章

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第24章

The Tinker’s Wedding John M。 Synge

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The Tinker’s Wedding
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  But,thoughhemaybeobligedtohisfriendsfortheirgoodopinion,hewouldthinkhimselfguiltyofthegreatestbasenessifhedidnotimmediatelyundeceivethem。Itgiveshimlittlepleasuretolookuponhimselfinthelightinwhichotherpeopleactuallylookuponhim,whenheisconsciousthat,iftheyknewthetruth,theywouldlookuponhiminaverydifferentlight。Aweakman,however,isoftenmuchdelightedwithviewinghimselfinthisfalseanddelusivelight。Heassumesthemeritofeverylaudableactionthatisascribedtohim,andpretendstothatofmanywhichnobodyeverthoughtofascribingtohim。Hepretendstohavedonewhatheneverdid,tohavewrittenwhatanotherwrote,tohaveinventedwhatanotherdiscovered;andisledintoallthemiserablevicesofplagiarismandcommonlying。Butthoughnomanofmiddlinggoodsensecanderivemuchpleasurefromtheimputationofalaudableactionwhichheneverperformed,yetawisemanmaysuffergreatpainfromtheseriousimputationofacrimewhichhenevercommitted。Nature,inthiscase,hasrenderedthepain,notonlymorepungentthantheoppositeandcorrespondentpleasure,butshehasrendereditsoinamuchgreaterthantheordinarydegree。Adenialridsamanatonceofthefoolishandridiculouspleasure;butitwillnotalwaysridhimofthepain。Whenherefusesthemeritwhichisascribedtohim,nobodydoubtshisveracity。Itmaybedoubtedwhenhedeniesthecrimewhichheisaccusedof。Heisatonceenragedatthefalsehoodoftheimputation,andmortifiedtofindthatanycreditshouldbegiventoit。Hefeelsthathischaracterisnotsufficienttoprotecthim。Hefeelsthathisbrethren,farfromlookinguponhiminthatlightinwhichheanxiouslydesirestobeviewedbythem,thinkhimcapableofbeingguiltyofwhatheisaccusedof。Heknowsperfectlythathehasnotbeenguilty。Heknowsperfectlywhathehasdone;but,perhaps,scarceanymancanknowperfectlywhathehimselfiscapableofdoing。Whatthepeculiarconstitutionofhisownmindmayormaynotadmitof,is,perhaps,moreorlessamatterofdoubttoeveryman。Thetrustandgoodopinionofhisfriendsandneighbours,tendsmorethananythingtorelievehimfromthismostdisagreeabledoubt;theirdistrustandunfavourableopiniontoincreaseit。Hemaythinkhimselfveryconfidentthattheirunfavourablejudgmentiswrong:

  butthisconfidencecanseldombesogreatastohinderthatjudgmentfrommakingsomeimpressionuponhim;andthegreaterhissensibility,thegreaterhisdelicacy,thegreaterhisworthinshort,thisimpressionislikelytobethegreater。

  Theagreementordisagreementbothofthesentimentsandjudgmentsofotherpeoplewithourown,is,inallcases,itmustbeobserved,ofmoreorlessimportancetous,exactlyinproportionasweourselvesaremoreorlessuncertainabouttheproprietyofourownsentiments,abouttheaccuracyofourownjudgments。

  Amanofsensibilitymaysometimesfeelgreatuneasinesslestheshouldhaveyieldedtoomucheventowhatmaybecalledanhonourablepassion;tohisjustindignation,perhaps,attheinjurywhichmayhavebeendoneeithertohimselfortohisfriend。Heisanxiouslyafraidlest,meaningonlytoactwithspirit,andtodojustice,hemay,fromthetoogreatvehemenceofhisemotion,havedonearealinjurytosomeotherperson;

  who,thoughnotinnocent,maynothavebeenaltogethersoguiltyasheatfirstapprehended。Theopinionofotherpeoplebecomes,inthiscase,oftheutmostimportancetohim。Theirapprobationisthemosthealingbalsam;theirdisapprobation,thebitterestandmosttormentingpoisonthatcanbepouredintohisuneasymind。Whenheisperfectlysatisfiedwitheverypartofhisownconduct,thejudgmentofotherpeopleisoftenoflessimportancetohim。

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