ULYSSES

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第138章

ULYSSES James Joyce

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ULYSSES
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  purplyOJamesyletmeupoutofthispoohsweetsofsinwhoeversuggestedthatbusinessforwomenwhatbetweenclothesandcookingandchildrenthisdamnedoldbedtoojinglinglikethedickensIsupposetheycouldhearusawayovertheothersideoftheparktillIsuggestedtoputthequiltonthefloorwiththepillowundermybottomIwonderisitnicerinthedayIthinkitiseasyIthinkIllcutallthishairoffmetherescaldingmeImightlooklikeayounggirlwouldnthegetthegreatsuckinthenexttimeheturnedupmyclothesonmeIdgiveanythingtoseehisfacewheresthechambergoneeasyIveaholyhorrorofitsbreakingundermeafterthatoldcommodeIwonderwasItooheavysittingonhiskneeImadehimsitontheeasychairpurposelywhenItookoffonlymyblouseandskirtfirstintheotherroomhewassobusywhereheoughtnttobeheneverfeltmeIhopemybreathwassweetafterthosekissingcomfitseasyGodIrememberonetimeIcouldscoutitoutstraightwhistlinglikeamanalmosteasyOLordhownoisyIhopetheyrebubblesonitforawadofmoneyfromsomefellowIllhavetoperfumeitinthemorningdontforgetIbetheneversawabetterpairofthighsthanthatlookhowwhitetheyarethesmoothestplaceisrighttherebetweenthisbitherehowsoftlikeapeacheasyGodIwouldntmindbeingamanandgetuponalovelywomanOLordwhatarowyouremakinglikethejerseylilyeasyOhowthewaterscomedownatLahorewhoknowsisthereanythingthematterwithmyinsidesorhaveIsomethinggrowinginmegettingthatthinglikethateveryweekwhenwasitlastIWhitMondayyesitsonlyabout3weeksIoughttogotothedoctoronlyitwouldbelikebeforeImarriedhimwhenIhadthatwhitethingcomingfrommeandFloeymademegotothatdryoldstickDrCollinsforwomensdiseasesonPembrokeroadyourvaginahecalleditIsupposethatshowhegotallthegiltmirrorsandcarpetsgettingroundthoserichonesoffStephensgreenrunninguptohimforeverylittlefiddlefaddlehervaginaandhercochinchinatheyvemoneyofcoursesotheyreallrightIwouldntmarryhimnotifhewasthelastmanintheworldbesidestheresomethingqueerabouttheirchildrenalwayssmellingaroundthosefilthybitchesallsidesaskingmeifwhatIdidhadanoffensiveodourwhatdidhewantmetodobuttheonethinggoldmaybewhataquestionifIsmathereditalloverhiswrinklyoldfaceforhimwithallmycomprimentIsupposehedknowthenandcouldyoupassiteasilypasswhatIthoughthewastalkingabouttherockofGibraltarthewayheputsitthatsaveryniceinventiontoobythewayonlyIlikelettingmyselfdownafterintheholeasfarasIcansqueezeandpullthechainthentoflushitnicecoolpinsandneedlesstilltheressomethinginitIsupposeIalwaysusedtoknowbyMillyswhenshewasachildwhethershehadwormsornotstillallthesamepayinghimforthathowmuchisthatdoctoroneguineapleaseandaskingmehadIfrequentomissionswheredothoseoldfellowsgetallthewordstheyhaveomissionswithhisshortsightedeyesonmecockedsidewaysIwouldnttrusthimtoofartogivemechloroformorGodknowswhatelsestillIlikedhimwhenhesatdowntowritethethingoutfrowningsoseverehisnoseintelligentlikethatyoubedamnedyoulyingstrapOanythingnomatterwhoexceptanidiothewascleverenoughtospotthatofcoursethatwasallthinkingofhimandhismadcrazylettersmyPreciousoneeverythingconnectedwithyourgloriousBodyeverythingunderlinedthatcomesfromitisathingofbeautyandofjoyforeversomethinghegotoutofsomenonsensicalbookthathehadmealwaysatmyself4or5timesadaysometimesandIsaidIhadntareyousureOyesIsaidIamquitesureinawaythatshuthimupIknewwhatwascomingnextonlynaturalweaknessitwasheexcitedmeIdontknowhowthefirstnighteverwemetwhenIwaslivinginRehobothterracewestoodstaringatoneanotherforabout10minutesasifwemetsomewhereIsupposeonaccountofmybeingjewesslookingaftermymotherheusedtoamusemethethingshesaidwiththehalfslootheringsmileonhimandalltheDoylessaidhewasgoingtostandforamemberofParliamentOwasntIthebornfooltobelieveallhisblatherabouthomeruleandthelandleaguesendingmethatlongstroolofasongoutoftheHuguenotstosinginFrenchtobemoreclassyObeaupaysdelaTourainethatIneverevensangonceexplainingandrigmarolingaboutreligionandpersecutionhewontletyouenjoyanythingnaturallythenmightheasagreatfavourthevery1stopportunityhegotachanceinBrightonsquarerunningintomybedroompretendingtheinkgotonhishandstowashitoffwiththeAlbionmilkandsulphursoapIusedtouseandthegelatinestillrounditOIlaughedmyselfsickathimthatdayIdbetternotmakeanallnightsittingonthisaffairtheyoughttomakechambersanaturalsizesothatawomancouldsitonitproperlyhekneelsdowntodoitIsupposethereisntinallcreationanothermanwiththehabitshehaslookatthewayhessleepingatthefootofthebedhowcanhewithoutahardbolsteritswellhedoesntkickorhemightknockoutallmyteethbreathingwithhishandonhisnoselikethatIndiangodhetookmetoshowonewetSundayinthemuseuminKildarestreetallyellowinapinaforelyingonhissideonhishandwithhistentoesstickingoutthathesaidwasabiggerreligionthanthejewsandOurLordsbothputtogetheralloverAsiaimitatinghimashesalwaysimitatingeverybodyIsupposeheusedtosleepatthefootofthebedtoowithhisbigsquarefeetupinhiswifesmouthdamnthisstinkingthinganywaywheresthisthosenapkinsareahyesIknowIhopetheoldpressdoesntcreakahI

  knewitwouldhessleepinghardhadagoodtimesomewherestillshemusthavegivenhimgreatvalueforhismoneyofcoursehehastopayforitfromherOthisnuisanceofathingIhopetheyllhavesomethingbetterforusintheotherworldtyingourselvesupGodhelpusthatsallrightfortonightnowthelumpyoldjinglybedalwaysremindsmeofoldCohenIsupposehescratchedhimselfinitoftenenoughandhethinksfatherboughtitfromLordNapierthatIusedtoadmirewhenIwasalittlegirlbecauseItoldhimeasypianoOIlikemybedGodhereweareasbadaseverafter16yearshowmanyhouseswereweinatallRaymondTerraceandOntarioterraceandLombardstreetandHollesstreetandhegoesaboutwhistlingeverytimewereontherunagainhishuguenotsorthefrogsmarchpretendingtohelpthemenwithour4sticksoffurnitureandthentheCityArmshotelworseandworsesaysWardenDalythatcharmingplaceonthelandingalwayssomebodyinsideprayingthenleavingalltheirstinksafterthemalwaysknowwhowasintherelasteverytimewerejustgettingonrightsomethinghappensorheputshisbigfootinitThomsandHelysandMrCuffesandDrimmieseitherhesgoingtoberunintoprisonoverhisoldlotteryticketsthatwastobealloursalvationsorhegoesandgivesimpudencewellhavehimcominghomewiththesacksoonoutoftheFreemantooliketherestonaccountofthoseSinnerFeinortheFreemasonsthenwellseeifthelittlemanheshowedmedribblingalonginthewetallbyhimselfroundbyCoadyslanewillgivehimmuchconsolationthathesaysissocapableandsincerelyIrishheisindeedjudgingbythesincerityofthetrousersIsawonhimwaittheresGeorgeschurchbellswait3quartersthehourwait2oclockwellthatsanicehourofthenightforhimtobecominghomeattoanybodyclimbingdownintotheareaifanybodysawhimIllknockhimoffthatlittlehabittomorrowfirstIlllookathisshirttoseeorIllseeifhehasthatFrenchletterstillinhispocketbookIsupposehethinksIdontknowdeceitfulmenalltheir20pocketsarentenoughfortheirliesthenwhyshouldwetellthemevenifitsthetruththeydontbelieveyouthentuckedupinbedlikethosebabiesintheAristocratsMasterpiecehebroughtmeanothertimeasifwehadntenoughofthatinreallifewithoutsomeoldAristocratorwhateverhisnameisdisgustingyoumorewiththoserottenpictureschildrenwithtwoheadsandnolegsthatsthekindofvillainytheyrealwaysdreamingaboutwithnotanotherthingintheiremptyheadstheyoughttogetslowpoisonthehalfofthemthenteaandtoastforhimbutteredonbothsidesandnewlaideggsIsupposeImnothinganymorewhenIwouldntlethimlickmeinHollesstreetonenightmanmantyrantaseverfortheonethinghesleptonthefloorhalfthenightnakedthewaythejewsusedwhensomebodydiesbelongedtothemandwouldnteatanybreakfastorspeakawordwantingtobepettedsoI

  thoughtIstoodoutenoughforonetimeandlethimhedoesitallwrongtoothinkingonlyofhisownpleasurehistongueistooflatorIdontknowwhatheforgetsthatwethenIdontIllmakehimdoitagainifhedoesntmindhimselfandlockhimdowntosleepinthecoalcellarwiththeblackbeetlesIwonderwasitherJosieoffherheadwithmycastoffshessuchabornliartoonohedneverhavethecouragewithamarriedwomanthatswhyhewantsmeandBoylanthoughasforherDenisasshecallshimthatforlornlookingspectacleyoucouldn’tcallhimahusbandyesitssomelittlebitchhesgotinwithevenwhenIwaswithhimwithMillyattheCollegeracesthatHornblowerwiththechildsbonnetonthetoponhisnobletusintobythebackwayhewasthrowinghissheepseyesatthosetwodoingskirtdutyupanddownItriedtowinkathimfirstnouseofcourseandthatsthewayhismoneygoesthisisthefruitsofMrPaddyDignamyestheywereallingreatstyleatthegrandfuneralinthepaperBoylanbroughtiniftheysawarealofficersfuneralthatdbesomethingreversedarmsmuffleddrumsthepoorhorsewalkingbehindinblackLBloomandTomKernanthatdrunkenlittlebarrellymanthatbithistongueofffallingdownthemensWCdrunkinsomeplaceorotherandMartinCunninghamandthetwoDedalusesandFannyMCoyshusbandwhiteheadofcabbageskinnythingwithaturninhereyetryingtosingmysongsshedwanttobebornalloveragainandheroldgreendresswiththelowneckasshecantattractthemanyotherwaylikedabblingonarainydayIseeitallnowplainlyandtheycallthatfriendshipkillingandthenburyingoneanotherandtheyallwiththeirwivesandfamiliesathomemoreespeciallyJackPowerkeepingthatbarmaidhedoesofcoursehiswifealwayssickorgoingtobesickorjustgettingbetterofitandhesagood-lookingmanstillthoughhesgettingabitgreyovertheearstheyreanicelotallofthemwelltheyrenotgoingtogetmyhusbandagainintotheirclutchesifIcanhelpitmakingfunofhimthenbehindhisbackIknowwellwhenhegoesonwithhisidioticsbecausehehassenseenoughnottosquandereverypennypieceheearnsdowntheirgulletsandlooksafterhiswifeandfamilygoodfornothingspoorPaddyDignamallthesameImsorryinawayforhimwhatarehiswifeand5childrengoingtodounlesshewasinsuredcomicallittleteetotumalwaysstuckupinsomepubcornerandherorhersonwaitingBillBaileywontyoupleasecomehomeherwidowsweedswontimproveherappearancetheyreawfullybecomingthoughifyouregoodlookingwhatmenwasn’theyeshewasattheGlencreedinnerandBenDollardbasebarreltonethenightheborrowedtheswallowtailtosingoutofinHollesstreetsqueezedandsquashedintothemandgrinningalloverhisbigDollyfacelikeawellwhippedchildsbottydidnthelookabalmyballockssureenoughthatmusthavebeenaspectacleonthestageimaginepaying5/-inthepreservedseatsforthattoseehimandSimonDedalustoohewasalwaysturninguphalfscrewedsingingthesecondversefirsttheoldloveisthenewwasoneofhissosweetlysangthemaidenonthehawthornboughhewasalwaysonforflirtyfyingtoowhenIsangMaritanawithhimatFreddyMayersprivateoperahehadadeliciousgloriousvoicePhbedearestgoodbyesweethearthealwayssangitnotlikeBartelldArcysweettartgoodbyeofcoursehehadthegiftofthevoicesotherewasnoartinitalloveryoulikeawarmshowerbathOMaritanawildwoodflowerwesangsplendidlythoughitwasabittoohighformyregistereventransposedandhewasmarriedatthetimetoMayGouldingbutthenhedsayordosomethingtoknockthegoodoutofithesawidowernowIwonderwhatsortishissonhesayshesanauthorandgoingtobeauniversityprofessorofItalianandImtotakelessonswhatishedrivingatnowshowinghimmyphotoitsnotgoodofmeIoughttohavegotittakenindraperythatneverlooksoutoffashionstillIlookyounginitIwonderhedidntmakehimapresentofitaltogetherandmetooafterallwhynotIsawhimdrivingdowntotheKingsbridgestationwithhisfatherandmotherIwasinmourningthats11yearsagonowyeshedbe11thoughwhatwasthegoodingoingintomourningforwhatwasneitheronethingnortheotherofcourseheinsistedhedgointomourningforthecatIsupposehesamannowbythistimehewasaninnocentboythenandadarlinglittlefellowinhislordFauntleroysuitandcurlyhairlikeaprinceonthestagewhenIsawhimatMatDillonshelikedmetooIremembertheyalldowaitbyGodyeswaityesholdonhewasonthecardsthismorningwhenIlaidoutthedeckunionwithayoungstrangerneitherdarknorfairyoumetbeforeIthoughtitmeanthimbuthesnochickennorastrangereitherbesidesmyfacewasturnedtheotherwaywhatwasthe7thcardafterthatthe10ofspacesforaJourneybylandthentherewasaletteronitswayandscandalstoothe3queensandthe8ofdiamondsforariseinsocietyyeswaititallcameoutand2red8sfornewgarmentslookatthatanddidntIdreamsomethingtooyestherewassomethingaboutpoetryinitIhopehehasntlonggreasyhairhangingintohiseyesorstandinguplikearedIndianwhatdotheygoaboutlikethatforonlygettingthemselvesandtheirpoetrylaughedatIalwayslikedpoetrywhenIwasagirlfirstIthoughthewasapoetlikeByronandnotanounceofitinhiscompositionIthoughthewasquitedifferentIwonderishetooyounghesaboutwait88Iwasmarried88Millyis15yesterday89whatagewashethenatDillons5or6about88Isupposehes20ormoreImnottoooldforhimifhes23or24IhopehesnotthatstuckupuniversitystudentsortnootherwisehewouldntgosittingdownintheoldkitchenwithhimtakingEppsscocoaandtakingofcoursehepretendedtounderstanditallprobablyhetoldhimhewasoutofTrinitycollegehesveryyoungtobeaprofessorIhopehesnotaprofessorlikeGoodwinwashewasapatentprofessorofJohnJamesontheyallwriteaboutsomewomanintheirpoetrywellIsupposehewontfindmany

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