第7章
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  Ihadstill,afterall,tododgealittle。\"Knowwhat?\"

  \"Why,thatyou’vefoundoutwhatshehastohide。\"

  \"You’reperfectlyfreetoaskher。Iwondereventhatyouhaven’tdonesoyet。\"

  \"Well,\"hesaidwiththefineststrokeofunconsciousnesshehadyetshownme——\"well,Isupposeit’sbecauseI’mafraidofher。\"

  \"Butnottoomuchafraid,\"Iriskedsuggesting,\"tobehopingatthismomentthatyou’llfindherifyougobacktowheremostofourpartyisgathered。You’renotgoingfortea——you’regoingforMrs。Server:justofwhomitwas,asIsay,youwerethinkingwhileyousattherewithLadyJohn。Sowhatisityousogreatlyfear?\"

  ItwasasifIcouldseethroughhisdimfaceasortofgratitudeformymakingallthisouttohim。\"Idon’tknowthatit’sanythingthatshemaydotoME。\"Hecouldmakeitoutinamannerforhimself。\"It’sasifsomethingmighthappentoher。It’swhatItoldyou——thatshemaybreakdown。Ifyouaskmehow,orinwhat,\"hecontinued,\"howcanItellyou?

  Inwhateveritisthatshe’stryingtodo。Idon’tunderstandit。\"Thenhewoundupwithasighthat,inspiteofitssoftness,heimperfectlystifled。\"Butit’ssomethingorother!\"

  \"Whatwoulditbe,then,\"Iasked,\"butwhatyouspeakofaswhatI’ve’foundout’?Theeffortyoudistinguishinheristheeffortofconcealment——vain,asIgatheritstrikesyouboth,sofarasi,inmysupernaturalacuteness,amconcerned。\"

  Followingthiswiththefinaleasetowhichmyencouragementdirectlyministered,heyetgaveme,beforehehadquitearrived,aqueersidelongglance。\"Wouldn’titreallybebetterifyouweretotellme?Idon’taskhermyself,yousee。Idon’tputthingstoherinthatway。\"

  \"Oh,no——I’veshownyouhowIdosee。That’sapartofyouradmirableconsideration。ButImustrepeatthatnothingwouldinducemetotellyou。\"

  Hispooroldfacefairlypleaded。\"ButIwantsotoknow。\"

  \"Ah,thereitis!\"Ialmosttriumphantlylaughed。

  \"Therewhatis?\"

  \"Why,everything。WhatI’vedivined,betweenyouandMrs。Server,asthetie。Yourwantingsotoknow。\"

  Ifeltasifhewerenow,intellectuallyspeaking,plasticwaxinmyhand。\"Andherwantingmenotto?\"

  \"WantingMEnotto,\"Ismiled。

  Hepuzzleditout。\"Andbeingwilling,therefore———\"

  \"Thatyou——youonly,forsympathy,forfellowship,forthewildwonderofit——SHOULDknow?Well,forallthosethings,andinspiteofwhatyoucallyourfear,TRYher!\"WithwhichnowatlastIquittedhim。

  Chapter8

  I’mafraidIcan’tquitesaywhat,afterthat,Iatfirstdid,norjusthowIimmediatelyprofitedbyourseparation。Ifeltabsurdlyexcited,thoughthisindeedwaswhatIhadfeltallday;therehadbeeninfactdeepeningdegreesofiteversincemyfirstmysticthrobafterfindingmyself,thedaybeforeinourrailway—carriage,shutuptoanhour’scontemplationandcollation,asitwere,ofGilbertLongandMrs。Brissenden。Ihavenotedhowmyfirstfullcontactwiththechangedstateoftheseassociateshadcausedtheknellofthetranquilmindaudiblytoringforme。Ihavespokenofmysharpenedperceptionthatsomethingaltogetheroutofthecommonhadhappened,independently,toeach,andIcouldnowcertainlyflattermyselfthatIhadn’tmissedafeatureoftheroadIhadthusbeenbeguiledtotravel。Itwasaroadthathadcarriedmefar,andverilyatthishourIFELTfar。IdaresaythatforawhileafterleavingpoorBriss,afterwhatImayindeedcalllaunchinghim,thiswaswhatIpredominantlyfelt。TobewhereIwas,towhateverelseitmightlead,treatedmebyitshelptothetasteofsuccess。ItappearedthenthatthemorethingsIfittedtogetherthelargersense,everyway,theymadearemarkinwhichIfoundanextraordinaryelation。Itjustifiedmyindiscreetcuriosity;

  itcrownedmyunderhandprocesswithbeauty。ThebeautyperhapswasonlyforME——thebeautyofhavingbeenright;itmadeatalleventsanelementinwhich,whilethelongdaysoftlydropped,Iwanderedanddriftedandsecurelyfloated。Thiselementboremebravelyup,andmyprivatetriumphstruckmeasallonewiththecharmofthemomentandoftheplace。

  Therewasageneralshadeinallthelowerreaches——afineclearduskingardenandgrove,athinsuffusionoftwilightoutofwhichthegreaterthings,thehightree—topsandpinnacles,thelongcrestsofmotionlesswoodandchimniedroof,roseintogoldenair。Thelastcallsofbirdssoundedextraordinarilyloud;theywerelikethetimed,serioussplashes,inwide,stillwater,ofdiversnotexpectingtoriseagain。IscarceknowwhatoddconsciousnessIhadofroamingatcloseofdayinthegroundsofsomecastleofenchantment。Ihadpositivelyencounterednothingtocomparewiththissincethedaysoffairy—talesandofthechildishimaginationoftheimpossible。THENIusedtocircleroundenchantedcastles,forthenImovedinaworldinwhichthestrange\"cametrue。\"Itwasthecomingtruethatwastheproofoftheenchantment,which,moreover,wasnaturallyneversogreataswhensuchcomingwas,tosuchadegreeandbythemostromanticstrokeofall,thefruitofone’sownwizardry。Iwaspositively——sohadthewheelrevolved——proudofmywork。Ihadthoughtitallout,andtohavethoughtitwas,wonderfully,tohavebroughtit。YetIrecallhowIeventhenknewonthespotthattherewassomethingsupremeIshouldhavefailedtobringunlessIhadhappenedsuddenlytobecomeawareoftheverypresenceofthehauntingprinciple,asitwere,ofmythought。

  ThiswasthelightinwhichMrs。Server,walkingalonenow,apparently,inthegreywoodandpausingatsightofme,showedherselfinhercleardressattheendofavista。Itwasexactlyasifshehadbeentherebytheoperationofmyintelligence,orevenbythat——inastillhappierway——ofmyfeeling。Myexcitement,asIhavecalledit,onseeingher,wasassuredlyemotion。YetwhatWASthisfeeling,really?——ofwhich,atthepointwehadthusreached,Iseemedtomyselftohavegatheredfromallthingsaninvitationtorendersomeaccount。

  Well,IknewwithintheminutethatIwasmovedbyitasbyanextraordinarytenderness;sothatthisisthenameImustleaveittomakethebestof。

  IthadalreadybeenmyimpressionthatIwassorryforher,butitwasmarkedformenowthatIwassorrierthanIhadreckoned。Allherstoryseemedatoncetolookatmeoutofthefactofherpresentlonelyprowl。

  Imetitwithoutdemur,onlywantinghertoknowthatifIstruckheraswaylayingherinthewood,aswaitingforherthereateventidewithanidea,Ishouldn’tintheleastdefendmyselffromthecharge。IcanscarceclearlytellhowmanyfinestrangethingsIthoughtofduringthisbriefcrisisofherhesitation。Iwantedinthefirstplacetomakeitend,andwhileImovedafewstepstowardherIfeltalmostasnoiselessandguardedasifIweretrappingabirdorstalkingafawn。Myfewstepsbroughtmetoaspotwhereanotherperspectivecrossedourown,sothattheymadetogetheraverdurouscirclewithaneveningskyaboveandgreatlengthening,archingrecessesinwhichthetwilightthickened。Oh,itwasquitesufficientlythecastleofenchantment,andwhenInoticedfouroldstoneseats,massiveandmossyandsymmetricallyplaced,Irecognisednotonlytheinfluence,inmyadventure,ofthegrandstyle,butthefamiliaridentityofthisconsecratednook,whichwassomuchofthetypeofallthebemusedandremembered。Wewereinabeautifuloldpicture,wewereinabeautifuloldtale,anditwouldn’tbethefaultofNewmarchifsomeothergreencarrefour,notfaroff,didn’tbalancewiththisoneandofferthealternativeofniches,inthegreenness,occupiedbyweather—stainedstatuesonfloridpedestals。

  Isatstraightdownonthenearestofourbenches,forthisstruckmeasthebestwaytoexpresstheconceptionwithwhichthesightofMrs。

  Serverfilledme。ItshowedherthatifIwatchedherIalsowaitedforher,andthatIwasthereforenotaffectedinanymannershereallyneeddeprecate。Shehadbeentoofaroffformetodistinguishherface,butherapproachhadfalteredlongenoughtoletmeseethatifshehadnottakenitastoolateshewould,toescapeme,havefoundsomepretextforturningoff。Itwasjustmyseatingmyselfthatmadethedifference——itwasmybeingsosimplewithherthatbroughtheron。Shecameslowlyandalittlewearilydownthevista,andhersad,shyadvance,withthemassedwoodoneithersideofher,waslikethereminiscenceofapictureortherefrainofaballad。WhatmadethedifferencewithME——ifanydifferencehadremainedtobemade——wasthesenseofthissharpcessationofherpublicextravagance。Shehadfoldeduphermannerinherflouncedparasol,whichsheseemedtodragafterherasasorrysoldierhismusket。ItwaspresenttomewithoutapangthatthiswasthepersonIhadsentpoorBrissofftofind——thepersonpoorBrisswouldowemesofewthanksforhisfailuretohavefound。Itwasequallymarkedtomethat,howeverdetachedandcasualshemight,atthefirstsightofme,havewishedtoshowherself,itwastoalightonpoorBrissthatshehadcomeout,itwasbecausehehadnotbeenatthehouseandmighttherefore,onhisside,bewandering,thatshehadtakencaretobeunaccompanied。MydemonstrationwascompletefromthemomentIthushadthemintheactofseekingeachother,andIwassopleasedathavinggatheredtheminthatIcaredlittlewhatelsetheyhadmissed。Ineithermovednorspoketillshehadcomequitenearme,andasshealsogavenosoundthemeaningofoursilenceseemedtostarestraightout。Itabsolutelyphrasedthere,inallthewonderfulconditions,arelationalreadyestablished;butthestrangeandbeautifulthingwasthatassoonaswehadrecognisedandaccepteditthisrelationputusalmostatourease。\"Youmustbewearyofwalking,\"Isaidatlast,\"andyouseeI’vebeenkeepingaseatforyou。\"

  Ihadfinallygotup,asasignofwelcome,butIhaddirectlyafterwardsresumedmyposition,anditwasanillustrationofthetermsonwhichwemetthatweneitherofusseemedtomindherbeingmeanwhileonherfeet。

  Shestoodbeforemeasiftotakein——withhersmilethathadbythistimesunkquitetodimness——morethanweshould,eitherofus,afterall,belikelytobeabletosay。Ievensawfromthismoment,Ithink,that,whatevershemightunderstand,shewouldbeableherselftosaybutlittle。Shegaveherself,inthatminute,morethanshedoubtlessknew——gaveherselfImean,tomyintenserapprehension。Shewentthroughtheformofexpression,butwhattoldmeeverythingwasthewaytheformofexpressionbrokedown。

  Herlovelygrimace,thelightoftheprevioushours,wasasblurredasabitofbrushworkinwater—colourspoiledbytheupsettingoftheartist’sglass。Shefixedmewithitasshehadfixedduringthedayfortypersons,butitflutteredlikeabirdwithabrokenwing。Shelookedaboutandabove,downeachofourduskyavenuesandupatourgildedtree—topsandourpaintedsky,where,atthemoment,thepassageofaflightofrooksmadeaclamour。

  Sheappearedtowishtoproducesomeexplanationofhersolitude,butI

  wasquicklyenoughsurethatshewouldneverfindapresentableone。I

  onlywantedtoshowherhowlittleIrequiredit。\"Ilikealonelywalk,\"

  Iwenton,\"attheendofadayfullofpeople:it’salways,tome,onsuchoccasions,quiteasifsomethinghashappenedthatthemindwantstocatchandfixbeforethevividnessfades。SoImopebymyselfanhour——I

  takestockofmyimpressions。Butthere’sonethingIdon’tbelieveyouknow。Thisistheveryfirsttime,insuchaplaceandatsuchanhour,thatithaseverbefallenmetocomeacrossafriendstrickenwiththesameperversityandengagedinthesamepursuit。Mostpeople,don’tyousee?\"——IkeptitupasIcould——\"don’tintheleastknowwhathashappenedtothem,anddon’tcaretoknow。That’soneway,andIdon’tdenyitmaybepracticallythebest。Butifonedoescaretoknow,that’sanotherway。

  AssoonasIsawyouthereattheendofthealleyIsaidtomyself,withquitealittlethrillofelation,’Ah,thenit’sHERwaytoo!’Iwonderifyou’llletmetellyou,\"Iflounderedpleasantlyon,\"thatIimmediatelylikedyouthebetterforit。Itseemedtobringusmoretogether。That’swhatIsatstraightdownheretoshowyou。’Yes,’Iwishedyoutounderstandmeasfranklysaying,’IAM,aswellasyou,onthemope,oronthemuse,oronwhateveryoucallit,andthisisn’thalfabadcornerforsuchamood。’Ican’ttellyouwhatapleasureitistometoseeyoudounderstand。\"

  Ikeptitup,asIsay,toreassureandsootheandsteadyher;therewasnothing,howeverfantasticandbornofthepressureofthemoment,thatIwouldn’thaveriskedforthatpurpose。Shewasabsolutelyonmyhandswithhersecret——Ifeltthatfromthewayshestoodandlistenedtome,silentlyshowingherselfrelievedandpacified。ItwasmarkedthatifIhadhithertoseenheras\"allovertheplace,\"shehadyetnowhereseemedtomelesssothanatthisfurthermostpoint。Butif,thoughonlynearertohersecretandstillnotinpossession,IfeltasjustifiedasIhavealreadydescribedmyself,soitequallycametomethatIwasquitenearenough,atthepasswehadreached,forwhatIshouldhavetotakefromitall。Shewasonmyhands——itwassheherself,poorcreature,whowas:thiswasthethingthatjustnowloomedlarge,andthesecretwasacomparativedetail。\"Ithinkyou’reverykind,\"shesaidforallanswertothespeechIhavereported,andtheminuteafterthisshehadsunkdown,inconfessedcollapse,tomybench,onwhichshesatandstaredbeforeher。Themeremechanismofherexpression,thedanglingpaperlanternitself,wasnowallthatwasleftinherface。Sheremainedalittleasifdiscouragedbythesightofthewearinessthathersurrenderhadletout。Ihesitated,fromjustthisfearofaddingtoit,tocommiserateherforitmoredirectly,andshespokeagainbeforeIhadfoundanythingtosay。Shebroughtbackherattentionindeedasifwithaneffortandfromadistance。\"Whatisitthathashappenedtoyou?\"

  \"Oh,\"Ilaughed,\"whatisitthathashappenedtoYOU?\"Myquestionhadnotbeenintheleastintendedforpressure,butitmadeherturnandlookatme,andthis,Iquicklyrecognised,wasalltheanswerthemostpitilesscuriositycouldhavedesired——allthemore,aswell,thattheintentioninithadbeennogreaterthaninmywords。Beautiful,abysmal,involuntary,herexquisiteweaknesssimplyopenedupthedepthsitwouldhaveclosed。Itwasinshortasupremelyunsuccessfulattempttosaynothing。

  Itsaideverything,andbytheendofaminutemychatter——nonethelessoutofplaceforbeingallaudible——washushedtopositiveawebywhatithadconveyed。IsawasIhadneverseenbeforewhatconsumingpassioncanmakeofthemarkedmortalonwhom,withfixedbeakandclaws,ithassettledasonaprey。Sheremindedmeofaspongewrungdryandwithfineporesagape。Voidedandscrapedofeverything,hershellwasmerelycrushable。

  Soitwasbroughthometomethatthevictimcouldbeabased,andsoitdisengageditselffromthesethingsthattheabasementcouldbeconscious。

  ThatwasMrs。Server’stragedy,thatherconsciousnesssurvived——survivedwithaforcethatmadeitstruggleanddissemble。Thisconsciousnesswasallhersecret——itwasatanyrateallmine。IpromisedmyselfroundlythatIwouldhenceforthkeepclearofanyother。

  Inonetheless——fromsimplysittingwithherthere——gatheredinthesenseofmorethingsthanIcouldhavenamed,eachofwhich,asitcametome,mademycompassionmoretender。Whoofusallcouldsaythathisfallmightnotbeasdeep?——ormightnotatleastbecomesowithequalopportunity。IforawhilefairlyforgotMrs。Server,Ifear,intheintimacyofthisvisionofthepossibilitiesofourcommonnature。Shebecamesuchawastedanddishonouredsymbolofthemasmighthaveputtearsinone’seyes。WhenIpresentlyreturnedtoher——oursessionseemingtoresolveitselfintoameremildnessofsilence——Isawhowitwasthatwhereas,insuchcasesingeneral,peoplemighthavegivenupmuch,thesortofpersonthispoorladywascouldonlygiveupeverything。Shewastheabsolutewreckofherstorm,accordingly,buttowhichthepaleghostofaspecialsensibilitystillclung,wavingfromthemast,withabraverythatwenttotheheart,thelasttatterofitsflag。Thereareimpressionstoofineforwords,andIshallnotattempttosayhowitwasthatunderthetouchofthisoneIfelthownothingthatconcernedmycompanioncouldeveragainbepresenttomebutthefactitselfofheradmirablestate。Thiswasthesourceofherwanlittleglory,constitutedevenforherasmallsublimityinthelightofwhichmereminoridentificationsturnedvulgar。IknewwhoHEwasnowwithavengeance,becauseIhadlearntpreciselyfromthatwhoSHEwas;andnothingcouldhavebeensharperthantheforcewithwhichitpresseduponmethatIhadreallylearntmorethanIhadbargainedfor。

  NothingneedhavehappenedifIhadn’tbeensoabsurdly,sofatallymeditativeaboutpoorLong——anaccidentthatmostpeople,wiserpeople,appearedonthewholetohavesteeredsufficientlyclearof。Comparedwithmyactualsense,thesensewithwhichIsatthere,thatothervisionwasgross,andgrosserstilltheconnectionbetweenthetwo。

  SuchweresomeofthereflectionsinwhichIindulgedwhilehereyes——withtheirstrangeintermissionsofdarknessoroflight:whocouldsaywhich?——toldmefromtimetotimethatsheknewwhateverIwasthinkingoftobeforhervirtualadvantage。Itwasprodigiouswhat,inthewayofsuppressedcommunication,passedinthesewonderfulminutesbetweenus。Ourrelationcouldbeatthebestbutanequalconfession,andIremembersayingtomyselfthatifshehadbeenassubtleasI——whichshewasn’t!——shetoowouldhaveputittogetherthatIhaddreadfullytalkedabouther。ShewouldhavetracedinmemydemonstrationtoMrs。Brissthat,whoevershewas,shemustlogicallyhavebeenidiotised。Itwasthespecialpoignancyofhercollapsethat,sofaratleastasIwasconcerned,thiswasaravagetheextentofwhichshehadceasedtotrytoconceal。Shehadbeentrying,andmoreorlesssucceeding,allday:thelittledramaofherpublicunresthadhad,whenonecametoconsider,nootherargument。Ithadbeenterrorthathaddirectedhersteps;theneedconstantlytoshowherselfdetachedandfree,followedbythesterneronenottoshowherself,bythesametoken,limpandempty。Thishadbeenthedistinct,ferociouslogicofherrenewalsandruptures——theanxiousmistrustofherwit,thehauntingknowledgeofthesmalldistanceitwouldtakeheratonce,theconsequentimportanceofherexactlytimingherself,andthequickinstinctofflightbeforethemenaceofdiscovery。Shecouldn’tletsocietyalone,becausethatwouldhaveconstitutedasymptom;yet,forfearoftheappearanceofaworseone,shecouldonlymingleinitwithacomplexdiplomacy。Shewasaccordinglyexposedoneveryside,andtobewithherawhilethusquietlywastoreadbackintoherbehaviourthewholeexplanation,whichwaspositivelysimpletomenow。Totakeupagainthevividanalogy,shehadbeensailingallday,thoughscarceabletokeepafloat,undertheflagofheroldreputationforeasyresponse。Shehadgiventothebreezeanysadscrapofasubstitutefortheplayofmindoncesupposedremarkable。ThelastofallthethingsherstillnesssaidtomewasthatIcouldjudgefromsopoorashowwhathadbecomeofherconversability。WhatIdidjudgewasthatafranticarthadindeedbeenrequiredtomakeherprettysilencespass,fromonecrisistoanother,forprettyspeeches。Halfthisart,doubtless,wastheglitteringdeceitofhersmile,thesublime,patheticoverdonegenialitywhichrepresentedsohershareinanytalkthat,everyothereloquencefailing,therecouldonlybenothingatallfromthemomentitabandoneditsoffice。Therewasnothingatall。Thatwasthetruth;inaccordancewithwhichIfinally——foreverythingitmightmeantomyself——putoutmyhandandboreeversogentlyonherown。Herownrestedlistlesslyonthestoneofourseat。Ofcourse,ithadbeenanimmensethingforherthatshewas,inspiteofeverything,solovely。

  Allthiswasquiteconsistentwithitseventuallycomingbacktomethat,thoughshetookfrommewithappreciationwhatwasexpressedinthegestureIhavenoted,itwascertainlyinquestofastilldeeperreliefthatshehadagaincomeforth。ThemoreIconsideredherface——andmostofall,sopermittedly,inherpassive,consciouspresence——themoreI

  wassureofthisandthefurtherIcouldgointheimaginationofherbeautifulduplicity。IendedbydiviningthatifIwasassuredlygoodforher,becausethequestionofkeepingupwithmehadsocompletelydropped,andiftheserviceIsorenderedherwasnotlessdistincttoherthantomyself——I

  endedbydiviningthatshehadnonethelessherobscurevisionofastillsofterease。GuyBrissendenhadbecomeinthesefewhoursherpositiveneed——astillgreaterneedthanIhadlatelyamusedmyselfwithmakingoutthathehadfoundher。Eachhad,bytheirunprecedentedplight,somethingfortheother,someintimacyofunspeakableconfidence,thatnooneelseintheworldcouldhaveforeither。Theyhadbeenfeelingtheirwaytoit,butattheendoftheirfitfuldaytheyhadgrownconfusedly,yetbeneficentlysure。Theexplanationhereagainwassimple——theyhadthesenseofacommonfate。Theyhadn’ttonameitortophraseit——possiblyevencouldn’thadtheytried;peaceandsupportcametothem,withoutthat,inthesimplerevelationofeachother。Oh,howImadeitoutthatifitwasindeedverywellforthepoorladytofeelthusinMYcompanythatherburdenwaslifted,mycompanywouldbeafterallbutaroughsubstituteforGuy’s!Hewasastillbetterfriend,littleashecouldhavetoldthereason;andifIcouldinthisconnectionhaveputthewordsintohermouth,herefollowssomethingofthesensethatIshouldhavemadethemform。

  \"Yes,mydearman,Idounderstandyou——quiteperfectlynow,and(byIknownotwhatmiracle)I’vereallydonesotosomeextentfromthefirst。

  Deepistherestoffeelingwithyou,inthisway,thatI’mwatched,forthetime,onlyasyouwatchme。Ithasallstopped,andicanstop。HowcanImakeyouunderstandwhatitisformethatthereisn’tatlastacreatureanymoreinsight,thatthewooddarkensaboutme,thatthesoundsdropandthereliefgoeson;whatcanitmeanforyoueventhatI’vegivenmyselfuptonotcaringwhetherorno,amongstothers,I’mmissedandspokenof?Itdoeshelpmystrangecase,infine,asyousee,toletyoukeepmehere;butIshouldhavefoundstillmorewhatIwasinneedofifI

  hadonlyfound,insteadofyou,himwhomIhadinmind。Heisasmuchbetterthanyouasyouarethaneveryoneelse。\"Ifinallyfelt,inaword,soqualifiedtoattributetomycompanionsomesuchmuteaddressasthat,thatitcouldonlyhave,asthenextconsequence,adeterminingeffectonme——aneffectundertheinfluenceofwhichIspoke。\"Ipartedwithhim,somewayfromhere,sometimeago。IhadfoundhiminoneofthegardenswithLadyJohn;afterwhichwecameawayfromhertogether。Westrolledalittleandtalked,butIknewwhathereallywanted。Hewantedtofindyou,andItoldhimhewouldprobablydosoatteaontheterrace。Itwasvisiblywiththatidea——toreturntothehouse——thatheleftme。\"

  Shelookedatmeforsometimeonthis,takingitin,yetstillafraidofit。\"YoufoundhimwithLadyJohn?\"sheatlastasked,andwithanoteinhervoicethatmademeseewhat——astherewasaprecautionIhadneglected——shefeared。

  Theperceptionofthis,initsturn,operatedwithmeforaninstantalmostastherarestoftemptations。Ihadpuzzledouteverythingandputeverythingtogether;IwasasmorallyconfidentandasintellectuallytriumphantasIhavefranklyheredescribedmyself;buttherewasnoobjectivetesttowhichIhadyetexposedmytheory。Thechancetoapplyone——anditwouldbeinfallible——hadsuddenlycroppedup。Therewouldbeexcitement,amusement,discernmentinit;itwouldbeindeedbutamoreroundaboutexpressionofinterestandsympathy。Itwould,aboveall,packthequestionIhadforsomanyhoursbeenoccupiedwithintothecompassofaneedle—point。

  Iwasdazzledbymyopportunity。Shehadhadanuncertainty,inotherwords,astowhomImeant,andthatitkeptherforsomesecondsontherackwasatriflecomparedtomychance。Shewouldgiveherselfawaysupremelyifsheshowedshesuspectedmeofplacingmyfingeronthespot——ifsheunderstoodthepersonIhadnotnamedtobenameableasGilbertLong。Whathadcreatedherperil,ofcourse,wasmynamingLadyJohn。Well,howcanIsayinanysufficientwayhowmuchtheextraordinarybeautyofhereyesduringthisbrevityofsuspensehadtodowiththeevent?Ithadeverything——foritwaswhatcausedmetobetouchedbeyondevenwhatIhadalreadybeen,andIcouldliterallybearnomoreofthat。Ithereforetooknoadvantage,ortookonlytheadvantageIhadspokenwiththeintentionoftaking。I

  laughedoutdoubtlesstoonervously,butitdidn’tcompromisemytact。

  \"Don’tyouknowhowshe’sperpetuallypouncingonhim?\"

  Still,however,Ihadnotnamedhim——whichwaswhatprolongedthetension。

  \"Doyoumean——a——doyoumean?\"Withwhichshebrokeoffonasmallweaktitterandastillweakerexclamation。\"TherearesoMANYgentlemen!\"

  Therewassomethinginitthatmightinotherconditionshavebeenastrivialasthegiggleofahousemaid;butithadinfactformyearthesilverringofpoetry。ItoldherinstantlywhomImeant。\"PoorBriss,youknow,\"Isaid,\"isalwaysinherclutches。\"

  Oh,howitletheroff!Andyet,nosoonerhaditdonesoandhadI

  therebytastedontheinstantthesweetnessofmywisdom,thanIbecameawareofsomethingmuchmoreextraordinary。Itletheroff——sheshowedmethisforaminute,inspiteofherself;butthenextminutesheshowedmesomethingquitedifferent,whichwas,mostwonderfulofall,thatshewishedmetoseeherasnotquitefeelingwhyIshouldsomuchtakeforgrantedthepersonIHADnamed。\"PoorBriss?\"herfaceandmannerappearedsuddenlytorepeat——quite,moreover(anditwasthedrollest,saddestpart),asifallourfriendshadstoodaboutustolisten。WhereindidpoorBrisssointimatelyconcernher?What,pray,wasmygroundforsuchfreereferencetopoorBriss?ShequiterepudiatedpoorBriss。Sheknewnothingatallabouthim,andthewholeairystructureIhaderectedwithhisaidmighthavecrumbledatthetouchshethusadministeredifitssolidityhaddependedonlyonthat。Ihadaminuteofsurprisewhich,haditlastedanotherminuteassurprisepureandsimple,mightalmostasquicklyhaveturnedtosomethinglikechagrin。FortunatelyitturnedinsteadintosomethingevenmorelikeenthusiasmthananythingIhadyetfelt。ThestrokeWASextraordinary,butextraordinaryforitsnobleness。Iquicklysawinit,fromthemomentIhadgotmypointofview,morefinethingsthanever。Isawforinstancethat,magnificently,shewishednottoincriminatehim。Allthathadpassedbetweenushadpassedinsilence,butitwasadifferentmatterforwhatmightpassinsound。Welookedateachotherthereforewithastrainedsmileoveranyquestionofidentities。Itwasasifithadbeenonething——toherconfused,relaxedintensity——togiveherselfuptome,butquiteanotherthingtogiveupsomebodyelse。

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