Iwastruetohim——IcanhonestlysayIwastruetomybeliefinmygenerousfriend——whenthatfearfulnewsreachedme。Myfellow—merchantshadgotalltheparticularsofthearrest。TheytoldmethattwoofMr。Fauntleroy’sfellow—trusteeshadcomeuptoLondontomakearrangementsaboutsellingoutsomestock。OninquiringforMr。Fauntleroyatthebanking—house，theyhadbeeninformedthathewasnotthere；and，afterleavingamessageforhim，theyhadgoneintotheCitytomakeanappointmentwiththeirstockbrokerforafutureday，whentheirfellow—trusteemightbeabletoattend。Thestock—brokervolunteeredtomakecertainbusinessinquiriesonthespot，withaviewtosavingasmuchtimeaspossible，andleftthemathisofficetoawaithisreturn。Hecameback，lookingverymuchamazed，withtheinformationthatthestockhadbeensoldoutdowntothelastfivehundredpounds。Theaffairwasinstantlyinvestigated；thedocumentauthorizingthesellingoutwasproduced；andthetwotrusteessawonit，sidebysidewithMr。Fauntleroy’ssignature，theforgedsignaturesoftheirownnames。ThishappenedontheFriday，andthetrustees，withoutlosingamoment，senttheofficersofjusticeinpursuitofMr。Fauntleroy。Hewasarrested，broughtupbeforethemagistrate，andremandedontheSaturday。OntheMondayIheardfrommyfriendstheparticularswhichIhavejustnarrated。
Buttheeventsofthatonemorningwerenotdestinedtoendevenyet。IhaddiscoveredthefailureofthebankandthearrestofMr。Fauntleroy。Iwasnexttobeenlightened，inthestrangestandthesaddestmanner，onthedifficultquestionofhisinnocenceorhisguilt。
Beforemyfriendshadleftmyoffice——beforeIhadexhaustedtheargumentswhichmygratituderatherthanmyreasonsuggestedtomeinfavoroftheunhappyprisoner——anote，markedimmediate，wasplacedinmyhands，whichsilencedmetheinstantIlookedatit。ItwaswrittenfromtheprisonbyMr。Fauntleroy，anditcontainedtwolinesonly，entreatingmetoapplyforthenecessaryorder，andtogoandseehimimmediately。
Ishallnotattempttodescribetheflutterofexpectation，thestrangemixtureofdreadandhopethatagitatedmewhenI
recognizedhishandwriting，anddiscoveredwhatitwasthathedesiredmetodo。Iobtainedtheorderandwenttotheprison。
Theauthorities，knowingthedreadfulsituationinwhichhestood，wereafraidofhisattemptingtodestroyhimself，andhadsettwomentowatchhim。Onecameoutastheyopenedhiscelldoor。Theother，whowasboundnottoleavehim，verydelicatelyandconsideratelyaffectedtobelookingoutofwindowthemomentIwasshownin。
Hewassittingonthesideofhisbed，withhisheaddroopingandhishandshanginglistlesslyoverhiskneeswhenIfirstcaughtsightofhim。Atthesoundofmyapproachhestartedtohisfeet，and，withoutspeakingaword，flungbothhisarmsroundmyneckMyheartswelledup。
\"Tellmeit’snottrue，sir！ForGod’ssake，tellmeit’snottrue！\"wasallIcouldsaytohim。
Heneveranswered——ohme！heneveranswered，andheturnedawayhisface。
Therewasonedreadfulmomentofsilence。Hestillheldhisarmsroundmyneck，andonasuddenheputhislipsclosetomyear。
\"Didyougetyourmoneyout？\"hewhispered。\"WereyouintimeonSaturdayafternoon？\"
Ibrokefreefromhimintheastonishmentofhearingthosewords。
\"What！\"Icriedoutloud，forgettingthethirdpersonatthewindow。\"Thatmanwhobroughtthemessage——\"
\"Hush！\"hesaid，puttinghishandonmylips。\"Therewasnobettermantobefound，aftertheofficershadtakenme——Iknownomoreabouthimthanyoudo——Ipaidhimwellasachancemessenger，andriskedhischeatingmeofhiserrand。\"
\"_You_senthim，then！\"
\"Isenthim。\"
Mystoryisover，gentlemen。ThereisnoneedformetotellyouthatMr。Fauntleroywasfoundguilty，andthathediedbythehangman’shand。Itwasinmypowertosoothehislastmomentsinthisworldbytakingonmyselfthearrangementofsomeofhisprivateaffairs，which，whiletheyremainedunsettled，weighedheavilyonhismind。Theyhadnoconnectionwiththecrimeshehadcommitted，soIcoulddohimthelastlittleservicehewasevertoacceptatmyhandswithaclearconscience。
Isaynothingindefenseofhischaracter——nothinginpalliationoftheoffenseforwhichhesuffered。ButIcannotforgetthatinthetimeofhismostfearfulextremity，whenthestrongarmofthelawhadalreadyseizedhim，hethoughtoftheyoungmanwhosehumblefortuneshehadhelpedtobuild；whoseheartfeltgratitudehehadfairlywon；whosesimplefaithhewasresolvednevertobetray。Ileaveittogreaterintellectsthanminetoreconciletheanomalyofhisrecklessfalsehoodtowardothersandhissteadfasttruthtowardme。ItisascertainasthatwesitherethatoneofFauntleroy’slasteffortsinthisworldwastheefforthemadetopreservemefrombeingaloserbythetrustthatIhadplacedinhim。Thereisthesecretofmystrangetendernessforthememoryofafelon；thatiswhythewordvillaindoessomehowstillgrateonmyheartwhenIhearitassociatedwiththename——thedisgracedname，Igrantyou——oftheforgerFauntleroy。Passthebottles，younggentlemen，andpardonamanoftheoldschoolforhavingsolonginterruptedyourconversationwithastoryoftheoldtime。
THETENTHDAY。
THEstormhasburstonusinitsfullfury。Lastnightthestoutoldtowerrockedonitsfoundations。
Ihardlyventuredtohopethatthemessengerwhobringsusourlettersfromthevillage——thepostman，aswecallhim——wouldmakehisappearancethismorning；buthecamebravelythroughrain，hailandwind。Theoldponywhichheusuallyrideshadrefusedtofacethestorm，and，soonerthandisappointus，ourfaithfulpostmanhadboldlystartedforTheGlenToweronfoot。Allhisearlylifehadbeenpassedonboardship，and，atsixtyyearsofage，hehadbattledhiswaythatmorningthroughthestormonshoreassteadilyandasresolutelyaseverhehadbattleditinhisyouththroughthestormatsea。
Iopenedthepost—bageagerly。ThereweretwolettersforJessiefromyoungladyfriends；aletterforOwenfromacharitablesociety；alettertomeuponbusiness；and——onthislastday，ofallothers——nonewspaper！
Isentdirectlytothekitchen（wherethedrenchedandwearypostmanwasreceivingthehospitableattentionsoftheservants）
tomakeinquiries。Thedishearteninganswerreturnedwasthatthenewspapercouldnothavearrivedasusualbythemorning’spost，oritmusthavebeenputintothebagalongwiththeletters。Nosuchaccidentasthishadoccurred，exceptononeformeroccasion，sincethebeginningoftheyear。Andnow，ontheverydaywhenImighthavelookedconfidentlyfornewsofGeorge’sship，whenthestateoftheweathermadethefindingofthatnewsofthelastimportancetomypeaceofmind，thepaper，bysomeinconceivablefatality，hadfailedtoreachme！Iftherehadbeentheslightestchanceofborrowingacopyinthevillage，Ishouldhavegonetheremyselfthroughthetempesttogetit。Iftherehadbeenthefaintestpossibilityofcommunicating，inthatfrightfulweather，withthedistantcountytown，Ishouldhavesentthereorgonetheremyself。Ievenwentthelengthofspeakingtothegroom，anoldservantwhomIknewIcouldtrust。
Themanstaredatmeinastonishment，andthenpointedthroughthewindowtotheblindinghailandthewrithingtrees。
\"Nohorsethateverwasfoaled，sir，\"hesaid，\"wouldface_that_
forlong。It’sa’mostamiraclethatthepostmangotherealive。
Hesayshimselfthathedursn’tgobackagain。I’lltryit，sir，ifyouorderme；butifanaccidenthappens，pleasetoremember，whateverbecomesof_me，_thatIwarnedyoubeforehand。\"
Itwasonlytooplainthattheservantwasright，andIdismissedhim。WhatIsufferedfromthatoneaccidentofthemissingnewspaperIamashamedtotell。Noeducatedmancanconceivehowlittlehisacquiredmentaladvantageswillavailhimagainsthisnaturalhumaninheritanceofsuperstition，undercertaincircumstancesoffearandsuspense，untilhehaspassedtheordealinhisownproperperson。Wemostofussoonarriveataknowledgeoftheextentofourstrength，butwemaypassalifetimeandbestillignorantoftheextentofourweakness。
UptothistimeIhadpreservedself—controlenoughtohidetherealstateofmyfeelingsfromourguest；butthearrivalofthetenthday，andtheunexpectedtrialithadbroughtwithit，foundmeattheendofmyresources。Jessie’sacuteobservationsoonshowedherthatsomethinghadgonewrong，andshequestionedmeonthesubjectdirectly。Mymindwasinsuchastateofconfusionthatnoexcuseoccurredtome。Ileftherprecipitately，andentreatedOwenandMorgantokeepherintheircompany，andoutofmine，fortherestoftheday。Mystrengthtopreservemyson’ssecrethadfailedme，andmyonlychanceofresistingthebetrayalofitlayinthechildishresourceofkeepingoutoftheway。IshutmyselfintomyroomtillIcouldbearitnolonger。I
watchedmyopportunity，andpaidstolenvisitsoverandoveragaintothebarometerinthehall。ImountedtoMorgan’sroomsatthetopofthetower，andlookedouthopelesslythroughrain—mistandscudforsignsofacarriageonthefloodedvalley—roadbelowus。Istoledownagaintotheservants’hall，andquestionedtheoldpostman（half—tipsybythistimewithrestorativemulledale）abouthispastexperienceofstormsatsea；drewhimintotellinglong，rambling，wearisomestories，notone—tenthpartofwhichIheard；andlefthimwithmynervousirritabilityincreasedtenfoldbyhisuselessattemptstointerestandinformme。Hourbyhour，allthroughthatmiserableday，Iopeneddoorsandwindowstofeelformyselfthecapriciouschangesofthestormfromworsetobetter，andfrombettertoworseagain。NowIsentoncemoreforthegroom，whenitlookedlighter；andnowIfollowedhimhurriedlytothestables，tocountermandmyownrashorders。Mythoughtsseemedtodriveovermymindastheraindroveovertheearth；theconfusionwithinmewastheimageinlittleofthemightierturmoilthatragedoutside。
Beforeweassembledatthedinner—table，Owenwhisperedtomethathehadmademyexcusestoourguest，andthatIneeddreadnothingmorethanafewfriendlyinquiriesaboutmyhealthwhenI
sawheragain。Themealwasdispatchedhastilyandquietly。
Towardduskthestormbegantolessen，andforamomenttheideaofsendingtothetownoccurredtomeoncemore。But，nowthattheobstacleofweatherhadbeenremoved，theobstacleofdarknesswassetupinitsplace。Ifeltthis；IfeltthatafewmorehourswoulddecidethedoubtaboutGeorge，sofarasthislastdaywasconcerned，andIdeterminedtowaitalittlelonger，havingalreadywaitedsolong。Myresolutionwasthemorespeedilytakeninthismatter，asIhadnowmadeupmymind，insheerdespair，totellmyson’ssecrettoJessieifhefailedtoreturnbeforesheleftus。MyreasonwarnedmethatIshouldputmyselfandmyguestinafalsepositionbytakingthisstep，butsomethingstrongerthanmyreasonforbademetolethergobacktothegayworldanditstemptationswithoutfirstspeakingtoherofGeorgeinthelamentableeventofGeorgenotbeingpresenttospeakforhimself。
Wewereasadandsilentlittlecompanywhentheclockstruckeightthatnight，andwhenwemetforthelasttimetohearthelaststory。Theshadowoftheapproachingfarewell——itselftheshadeofthelongfarewell——restedheavilyonourguest’sspirits。Thegaydresseswhichshehadhithertoputontohonorourlittleceremonywereallpackedup，andtheplaingownsheworekeptthejourneyofthemorrowcruellybeforehereyesandours。Aquietmelancholysheditstendernessoverherbrightyoungfaceasshedrewthelastnumber，forform’ssake，outofthebowl，andhandedittoOwenwithafaintsmile。Evenourpositionsatthetablewerealterednow。Underthepretensethatthelighthurtmyeyes，Imovedbackintoadimcorner，tokeepmyanxiousfaceoutofview。Morgan，lookingatmehard，andmutteringunderhisbreath，\"ThankHeaven，Inevermarried！\"
stolehischairbydegrees，withrough，silentkindness，nearerandnearertomine。Jessie，afteramoment’shesitation，vacatedherplacenext，and，sayingthatshewantedtositclosetooneofusonthefarewellnight，tookachairatOwen’sside。Sad！
sad！wehadinstinctivelybrokenupalready，sofarasourplacesatthetablewereconcerned，beforethereadingofthelaststoryhadsomuchasbegun。
ItwasareliefwhenOwen’squietvoicestoleoverthewearysilence，andpleadedforourattentiontotheoccupationofthenight。
\"NumberSix，\"hesaid，\"isthenumberthatchancehaslefttoremaintillthelast。Themanuscripttowhichitrefersisnot，asyoumaysee，inmyhandwriting。ItconsistsentirelyofpassagesfromtheDiaryofapoorhard—workinggirl——passageswhichtellanartlessstoryofloveandfriendshipinhumblelife。Whenthatstoryhascometoanend，ImayinformyouhowI
becamepossessedofit。IfIdidsonow，Ishouldonlyforestalloneimportantpartoftheinterestofthenarrative。Ihavemadenoattempttofindastrikingtitleforit。Itiscalled，simplyandplainly，afterthenameofthewriteroftheDiary——theStoryofAnneRodway。\"
IntheshortpausethatOwenmadebeforehebegantoread，I
listenedanxiouslyforthesoundofatraveler’sapproachoutside。Atshortintervals，allthroughthestory，Ilistenedandlistenedagain。Still，nothingcaughtmyearbutthetrickleoftherainandtherushofthesweepingwindthroughthevalley，sinkinggraduallylowerandlowerasthenightadvanced。
BROTHEROWEN’SSTORY
ofANNERODWAY。
[TAKENFROMHERDIARY。]
***MARCH3d，1840。AlonglettertodayfromRobert，whichsurprisedandvexedmesothatIhavebeensadlybehindhandwithmyworkeversince。Hewritesinworsespiritsthanlasttime，andabsolutelydeclaresthatheispoorereventhanwhenhewenttoAmerica，andthathehasmadeuphismindtocomehometoLondon。
HowhappyIshouldbeatthisnews，ifheonlyreturnedtomeaprosperousman！Asitis，thoughIlovehimdearly，Icannotlookforwardtothemeetinghimagain，disappointedandbrokendown，andpoorerthanever，withoutafeelingalmostofdreadforbothofus。Iwastwenty—sixlastbirthdayandhewasthirty—three，andthereseemslesschancenowthaneverofourbeingmarried。
ItisallIcandotokeepmyselfbymyneedle；andhisprospects，sincehefailedinthesmallstationerybusinessthreeyearsago，areworse，ifpossible，thanmine。
NotthatImindsomuchformyself；women，inallwaysoflife，andespeciallyinmydressmakingway，learn，Ithink，tobemorepatientthanmen。WhatIdreadisRobert’sdespondency，andthehardstrugglehewillhaveinthiscruelcitytogethisbread，letalonemakingmoneyenoughtomarryme。Solittleaspoorpeoplewanttosetupinhousekeepingandbehappytogether，itseemshardthattheycan’tgetitwhentheyarehonestandhearty，andwillingtowork。TheclergymansaidinhissermonlastSundayeveningthatallthingswereorderedforthebest，andweareallputintothestationsinlifethatareproperestforus。Isupposehewasright，beingaveryclevergentlemanwhofillsthechurchtocrowding；butIthinkIshouldhaveunderstoodhimbetterifIhadnotbeenveryhungryatthetime，inconsequenceofmyownstationinlifebeingnothingbutplainneedlewoman。
March4th。MaryMallinsoncamedowntomyroomtotakeacupofteawithme。IreadherbitsofRobert’sletter，toshowherthat，ifshehashertroubles，Ihaveminetoo；butIcouldnotsucceedincheeringher。Shesayssheisborntomisfortune，andthat，aslongbackasshecanremember，shehasneverhadtheleastmorseloflucktobethankfulfor。Itoldhertogoandlookinmyglass，andtosayifshehadnothingtobethankfulforthen；forMaryisaveryprettygirl，andwouldlookstillprettierifshecouldbemorecheerfulanddressneater。However，mycomplimentdidnogood。Sherattledherspoonimpatientlyinhertea—cup，andsaid，\"IfIwasonlyasgoodahandatneedle—workasyouare，Anne，IwouldchangefaceswiththeugliestgirlinLondon。\"\"Notyou！\"saysI，laughing。Shelookedatmeforamoment，andshookherhead，andwasoutoftheroombeforeIcouldgetupandstopher。Shealwaysrunsoffinthatwaywhensheisgoingtocry，havingakindofprideaboutlettingotherpeopleseeherintears。
March5th。AfrightaboutMary。Ihadnotseenherallday，asshedoesnotworkatthesameplacewhereIdo；andintheeveningshenevercamedowntohaveteawithme，orsentmewordtogotoher；so，justbeforeIwenttobed，Iranupstairstosaygood—night。
ShedidnotanswerwhenIknocked；andwhenIsteppedsoftlyintheroomIsawherinbed，asleep，withherworknothalfdone，lyingabouttheroomintheuntidiestway。Therewasnothingremarkableinthat，andIwasjustgoingawayontiptoe，whenatinybottleandwine—glassonthechairbyherbedsidecaughtmyeye。Ithoughtshewasillandhadbeentakingphysic，andlookedatthebottle。Itwasmarkedinlargeletters，\"Laudanum——Poison。\"
Myheartgaveajumpasifitwasgoingtoflyoutofme。Ilaidholdofherwithbothhands，andshookherwithallmymight。Shewassleepingheavily，andwokeslowly，asitseemedtome——butstillshedidwake。Itriedtopullheroutofbed，havingheardthatpeopleoughttobealwayswalkedupanddownwhentheyhavetakenlaudanumbutsheresisted，andpushedmeawayviolently。
\"Anne！\"saysshe，inafright。\"Forgracioussake，what’scometoyou！Areyououtofyoursenses？\"
\"Oh，Mary！Mary！\"saysI，holdingupthebottlebeforeher，\"ifI
hadn’tcomeinwhenIdid——\"AndIlaidholdofhertoshakeheragain。
Shelookedpuzzledatmeforamoment——thensmiled（thefirsttimeIhadseenherdosoformanyalongday）——thenputherarmsroundmyneck。
\"Don’tbefrightenedaboutme，Anne，\"shesays；\"Iamnotworthit，andthereisnoneed。\"
\"Noneed！\"saysI，outofbreath——\"noneed，whenthebottlehasgotPoisonmarkedonit！\"
\"Poison，dear，ifyoutakeitall，\"saysMary，lookingatmeverytenderly，\"andanight’srestifyouonlytakealittle。\"
Iwatchedherforamoment，doubtfulwhetherIoughttobelievewhatshesaidortoalarmthehouse。Buttherewasnosleepinessnowinhereyes，andnothingdrowsyinhervoice；andshesatupinbedquiteeasily，withoutanythingtosupporther。
\"Youhavegivenmeadreadfulfright，Mary，\"saysI，sittingdownbyherinthechair，andbeginningbythistimetofeelratherfaintafterbeingstartledso。
Shejumpedoutofbedtogetmeadropofwater，andkissedme，andsaidhowsorryshewas，andhowundeservingofsomuchinterestbeingtakeninher。Atthesametime，shetriedtopossessherselfofthelaudanumbottlewhichIstillkeptcuddleduptightinmyownhands。
\"No，\"saysI。\"Youhavegotintoalow—spirited，despairingway。
Iwon’ttrustyouwithit。\"
\"IamafraidIcan’tdowithoutit，\"saysMary，inherusualquiet，hopelessvoice。\"WhatwithworkthatIcan’tgetthroughasIought，andtroublesthatIcan’thelpthinkingof，sleepwon’tcometomeunlessItakeafewdropsoutofthatbottle。
Don’tkeepitawayfromme，Anne；it’stheonlythingintheworldthatmakesmeforgetmyself。\"
\"Forgetyourself！\"saysI。\"Youhavenorighttotalkinthatway，atyourage。There’ssomethinghorribleinthenotionofagirlofeighteensleepingwithabottleoflaudanumbyherbedsideeverynight。Weallofushaveourtroubles。Haven’tI
gotmine？\"
\"YoucandotwicetheworkIcan，twiceaswellasme，\"saysMary。\"Youareneverscoldedandratedatforawkwardnesswithyourneedle，andIalwaysam。Youcanpayforyourroomeveryweek，andIamthreeweeksindebtformine。\"
\"Alittlemorepractice，\"saysI，\"andalittlemorecourage，andyouwillsoondobetter。Youhavegotallyourlifebeforeyou——\"
\"IwishIwasattheendofit，\"saysshe，breakingin。\"Iamaloneintheworld，andmylife’snogoodtome。\"
\"Yououghttobeashamedofyourselfforsayingso，\"saysI。
\"Haven’tyougotmeforafriend？Didn’tItakeafancytoyouwhenfirstyouleftyourstep—motherandcametolodgeinthishouse？Andhaven’tIbeensisterswithyoueversince？Supposeyouarealoneintheworld，amImuchbetteroff？I’manorphanlikeyou。I’vealmostasmanythingsinpawnasyou；and，ifyourpocketsareempty，minehaveonlygotninepenceinthem，tolastmeforalltherestoftheweek。\"
\"Yourfatherandmotherwerehonestpeople，\"saysMary，obstinately。\"Mymotherranawayfromhome，anddiedinahospital。Myfatherwasalwaysdrunk，andalwaysbeatingme。Mystep—motherisasgoodasdead，forallshecaresaboutme。Myonlybrotheristhousandsofmilesawayinforeignparts，andneverwritestome，andneverhelpsmewithafarthing。Mysweetheart——\"
Shestopped，andtheredflewintoherface。Iknew，ifshewentonthatway，shewouldonlygettothesaddestpartofhersadstory，andgivebothherselfandmeunnecessarypain。
\"_My_sweetheartistoopoortomarryme，Mary，\"Isaid，\"soI’mnotsomuchtobeenviedeventhere。Butlet’sgiveoverdisputingwhichisworstoff。Liedowninbed，andletmetuckyouup。I’llputastitchortwointothatworkofyourswhileyougotosleep。\"
InsteadofdoingwhatItoldher，sheburstoutcrying（beingverylikeachildinsomeofherways），andhuggedmesotightroundtheneckthatshequitehurtme。Ilethergoontillshehadwornherselfout，andwasobligedtoliedown。Eventhen，herlastfewwordsbeforeshedroppedofftosleepweresuchasIwashalfsorry，halffrightenedtohear。
\"Iwon’tplagueyoulong，Anne，\"shesaid。\"Ihaven’tcouragetogooutoftheworldasyouseemtofearIshall；butIbeganmylifewretchedly，andwretchedlyIamsentencedtoendit。\"
Itwasofnouselecturingheragain，forsheclosedhereyes。
ItuckedherupasneatlyasIcould，andputherpetticoatoverher，forthebedclotheswerescanty，andherhandsfeltcold。Shelookedsoprettyanddelicateasshefellasleepthatitquitemademyheartachetoseeher，aftersuchtalkaswehadheldtogether。Ijustwaitedlongenoughtobequitesurethatshewasinthelandofdreams，thenemptiedthehorriblelaudanumbottleintothegrate，tookupherhalf—donework，and，goingoutsoftly，leftherforthatnight。
March6th。SentoffalonglettertoRobert，beggingandentreatinghimnottobesodown—hearted，andnottoleaveAmericawithoutmakinganothereffort。ItoldhimIcouldbearanytrialexceptthewretchednessofseeinghimcomebackahelpless，broken—downman，tryinguselesslytobeginlifeagainwhentoooldforachange。
ItwasnottillafterIhadpostedmyownletter，andreadoverpartofRobert’sagain，thatthesuspicionsuddenlyfloatedacrossme，forthefirsttime，thathemighthavesailedforEnglandimmediatelyafterwritingtome。Therewereexpressionsintheletterwhichseemedtoindicatethathehadsomesuchheadlongprojectinhismind。Andyet，surely，ifitwereso，I
oughttohavenoticedthematthefirstreading。IcanonlyhopeIamwronginmypresentinterpretationofmuchofwhathehaswrittentome——hopeitearnestlyforbothoursakes。
Thishasbeenadolefuldayforme。IhavebeenuneasyaboutRobertanduneasyaboutMary。Mymindishauntedbythoselastwordsofhers：\"Ibeganmylifewretchedly，andwretchedlyIamsentencedtoendit。\"HerusualmelancholywayoftalkingneverproducedthesameimpressiononmethatIfeelnow。Perhapsthediscoveryofthelaudanum—bottleisthecauseofthis。Iwouldgivemanyahardday’sworktoknowwhattodoforMary’sgood。
Myheartwarmedtoherwhenwefirstmetinthesamelodging—housetwoyearsago，and，althoughIamnotoneoftheover—affectionatesortmyself，IfeelasifIcouldgototheworld’sendtoservethatgirl。Yet，strangetosay，ifIwasaskedwhyIwassofondofher，Idon’tthinkIshouldknowhowtoanswerthequestion。
March7th。Iamalmostashamedtowriteitdown，eveninthisjournal，whichnoeyesbutmineeverlookon；yetImusthonestlyconfesstomyselfthathereIam，atnearlyoneinthemorning，sittingupinastateofseriousuneasinessbecauseMaryhasnotyetcomehome。
Iwalkedwithherthismorningtotheplacewheresheworks，andtriedtoleadherintotalkingoftherelationsshehasgotwhoarestillalive。Mymotiveindoingthiswastoseeifshedroppedanythinginthecourseofconversationwhichmightsuggestawayofhelpingherinterestswiththosewhoareboundtogiveherallreasonableassistance。ButthelittleIcouldgethertosaytomeledtonothing。Insteadofansweringmyquestionsaboutherstep—motherandherbrother，shepersistedatfirst，inthestrangestway，intalkingofherfather，whowasdeadandgone，andofoneNoahTruscott，whohadbeentheworstofallthebadfriendshehad，andhadtaughthimtodrinkandgame。WhenIdidgethertospeakofherbrother，sheonlyknewthathehadgoneouttoaplacecalledAssam，wheretheygrewtea。Howhewasdoing，orwhetherhewastherestill，shedidnotseemtoknow，neverhavingheardawordfromhimforyearsandyearspast。