Inaquarterofanhour’stimeMr。Darkjoinedme，anddranktomyhealth，happinessandprosperityinthreeseparatetumblers。
Afterperformingthisceremony，hewaggedhisheadandchuckledwithanappearanceofsuchexcessiveenjoymentthatIcouldnotavoidremarkingonhishighspirits。
\"It’sthecase，William——it’sthebeautifulneatnessofthecasethatquiteintoxicatesme。Oh，Lord，whatahappinessitistobeconcernedinsuchajobasthis！\"criesMr。Dark，slappinghisstumpyhandsonhisfatkneesinasortofecstasy。
Ihadaverydifferentopinionofthecaseformyownpart，butI
didnotventureonexpressingit。IwastooanxioustoknowhowMr。JamesSmithhadbeendiscoveredandproducedattheexaminationtoenterintoanyarguments。Mr。Darkguessedwhatwaspassinginmymind，and，tellingmetositdownandmakemyselfcomfortable，volunteeredofhisownaccordtoinformmeofallthatIwantedtoknow。
\"WhenIgotmyinstructionsandmystatementofparticulars，\"hebegan，\"IwasnotatallsurprisedtohearthatMr。JamesSmithhadcomeback。（Iprophesiedthat，ifyouremember，William，thelasttimewemet？）ButIwasagooddealastonished，nevertheless，attheturnthingshadtaken，andIcan’tsayI
feltveryhopefulaboutfindingourman。However，Ifollowedmymaster’sdirections，andputtheadvertisementinthepapers。ItaddressedMr。JamesSmithbyname，butitwasverycarefullywordedastowhatwaswantedofhim。Twodaysafteritappeared，alettercametoourofficeinawoman’shandwriting。Itwasmybusinesstoopentheletters，andIopenedthat。Thewriterwasshortandmysterious。Sherequestedthatsomebodywouldcallfromourofficeatacertainaddress，betweenthehoursoftwoandfourthatafternoon，inreferencetotheadvertisementwhichwehadinsertedinthenewspapers。Ofcourse，Iwasthesomebodywhowent。Ikeptmyselffrombuildinguphopesbytheway，knowingwhatalotofMr。JamesSmithstherewereinLondon。Ongettingtothehouse，Iwasshownintothedrawing—room，andthere，dressedinawrapperandlyingonasofa，wasanuncommonlyprettywoman，wholookedasifshewasjustrecoveringfromanillness。Shehadanewspaperbyherside，andcametothepointatonce：’Myhusband’snameisJamesSmith，’shesays，’andI
havemyreasonsforwantingtoknowifheisthepersonyouareinsearchof。’IdescribedourmanasMr。JamesSmith，ofDarrockHall，Cumberland。’Iknownosuchperson，’saysshe——\"
\"What！wasitnotthesecondwife，afterall？\"Ibrokeout。
\"Waitabit，\"saysMr。Dark。\"Imentionedthenameoftheyachtnext，andshestarteduponthesofaasifshehadbeenshot。’I
thinkyouweremarriedinScotland，ma’am，’saysI。Sheturnsaspaleasashes，anddropsbackonthesofa，andsays，faintly：’Itismyhusband。Oh，sir，whathashappened？Whatdoyouwantwithhim？Isheindebt？’Itookaminutetothink，andthenmadeupmymindtotellhereverything，feelingthatshewouldkeepherhusband（asshecalledhim）outofthewayifIfrightenedherbyanymysteries。AnicejobIhad，William，asyoumaysuppose，whensheknewaboutthebigamybusiness。Whatwithscreaming，fainting，crying，andblowingmeup（asif_I_wastoblame！），shekeptmebythatsofaofhersthebestpartofanhour——keptmethere，inshort，tillMr。JamesSmithhimselfcameback。I
leaveyoutojudgeifthatmendedmatters。Hefoundmemoppingthepoorwoman’stempleswithscentandwater；andhewouldhavepitchedmeoutofthewindow，assureasIsithere，ifIhadnotmethimandstaggeredhimatoncewiththechargeofmurderagainsthiswife。Thatstoppedhimwhenhewasinfullcry，Icanpromiseyou。’Goandwaitinthenextroom，’sayshe，’andI’llcomeinandspeaktoyoudirectly。’\"
\"Anddidyougo？\"Iasked。
\"OfcourseIdid，\"saidMr。Dark。\"Iknewhecouldn’tgetoutbythedrawing—roomwindows，andIknewIcouldwatchthedoor；soawayIwent，leavinghimalonewiththelady，whodidn’tsparehimbyanymannerofmeans，asIcouldeasilyhearinthenextroom。However，allrowsinthisworldcometoanendsoonerorlater，andamanwithanybrainsinhisheadmaydowhathepleaseswithawomanwhoisfondofhim。BeforelongIheardhercryingandkissinghim。’Ican’tgohome，’shesays，afterthis。
’Youhavebehavedlikeavillainandamonstertome——butoh，Jemmy，Ican’tgiveyouuptoanybody！Don’tgobacktoyourwife！Oh，don’t，don’tgobacktoyourwife！’’Nofearofthat，’
sayshe。’Mywifewouldn’thavemeifIdidgobacktoher。’
AfterthatIheardthedooropen，andwentouttomeethimonthelanding。Hebeganswearingthemomenthesawme，asifthatwasanygood。’Businessfirst，ifyouplease，sir，’saysI，’andanypleasureyoulike，inthewayofswearing，afterward。’Withthatbeginning，Imentionedourtermstohim，andaskedthepleasureofhiscompanytoCumberlandinreturn，hewasuncommonlysuspiciousatfirst，butIpromisedtodrawoutalegaldocument（merewastepaper，ofnoearthlyuseexcepttopacifyhim），engagingtoholdhimharmlessthroughouttheproceedings；andwhatwiththat，andtellinghimofthefrightfuldangerhiswifewasin，Imanaged，atlast，tocarrymypoint。\"
\"Butdidthesecondwifemakenoobjectiontohisgoingawaywithyou？\"Iinquired。
\"Notshe，\"saidMr。Dark。\"Istatedthecasetoherjustasitstood，andsoonsatisfiedherthattherewasnodangerofMr。
JamesSmith’sfirstwifelayinganyclaimtohim。Afterhearingthat，shejoinedmeinpersuadinghimtodohisduty，andsaidshepitiedyourmistressfromthebottomofherheart。Withherinfluencetobackme，Ihadnogreatfearofourmanchanginghismind。Ihadthedoorwatchedthatnight，however，soastomakequitesureofhim。ThenextmorninghewasreadytotimewhenI
called，andaquarterofanhourafterthatwewereofftogetherforthenorthroad。Wemadethejourneywithpost—horses，beingafraidofchancepassengers，youknow，inpublicconveyances。Onthewaydown，Mr。JamesSmithandIgotonascomfortablytogetherasifwehadbeenapairofoldfriends。ItoldthestoryofourtracinghimtothenorthofScotland，andhegavemetheparticulars，inreturn，ofhisboltingfromDarrockHall。
Theyareratheramusing，William；wouldyouliketohearthem？\"
ItoldMr。DarkthathehadanticipatedtheveryquestionIwasabouttoaskhim。
\"Well，\"hesaid，\"thisishowitwas：Tobeginatthebeginning，ourmanreallytookMrs。Smith，NumberTwo，totheMediterranean，asweheard。HesaileduptheSpanishcoast，and，aftershorttripsashore，stoppedataseasideplaceinFrancecalledCannes。
TherehesawahouseandgroundstobesoldwhichtookhisfancyasaniceretiredplacetokeepNumberTwoin。Nothingparticularwaswantedbutthemoneytobuyit；and，nothavingthelittleamountinhisownpossession，Mr。JamesSmithmakesavirtueofnecessity，andgoesbackoverlandtohiswifewithprivatedesignsonherpurse—strings。NumberTwo，whoobjectstobeleftbehind，goeswithhimasfarasLondon。Therehetrumpsupthefirststorythatcomesintohisheadaboutrentsinthecountry，andahouseinLincolnshirethatistoodampforhertotrustherselfin；andso，leavingherforafewdaysinLondon，startsboldlyforDarrockHall。Hisnotionwastowheedleyourmistressoutofthemoneybygoodbehavior；butitseemshestartedbadlybyquarrelingwithheraboutafiddle—playingparson——\"
\"Yes，yes，Iknowallaboutthatpartofthestory，\"Ibrokein，seeingbyMr。Dark’smannerthathewaslikelytospeakbothignorantlyandimpertinentlyofmymistress’sunluckyfriendshipforMr。Meeke。\"GoontothetimewhenIleftmymasteraloneintheRedRoom，andtellmewhathedidbetweenmidnightandninethenextmorning。\"
\"Did？\"saidMr。Dark。\"Why，hewenttobedwiththeunpleasantconvictiononhismindthatyourmistresshadfoundhimout，andwithnocomforttospeakofexceptwhathecouldgetoutofthebrandybottle。Hecouldn’tsleep；andthemorehetossedandtumbled，themorecertainhefeltthathiswifeintendedtohavehimtriedforbigamy。Atlast，towardthegrayofthemorning，hecouldstanditnolonger，andhemadeuphismindtogivethelawtheslipwhilehehadthechance。Assoonashewasdressed，itstruckhimthattheremightbearewardofferedforcatchinghim，andhedeterminedtomakethatslightchangeinhispersonalappearancewhichpuzzledthewitnessessomuchbeforethemagistrateto—day。Soheopenshisdressing—caseandcropshishairinnotime，andtakesoffhiswhiskersnext。Thefirewasout，andhehadtoshaveincoldwater。Whatwiththat，andwhatwiththeflurryofhismind，naturallyenoughhecuthimself——\"
\"Anddriedthebloodwithhisnightgown？\"saysI。
\"Withhisnightgown，\"repeatedMr。Dark。\"Itwasthefirstthingthatlayhandy，andhesnatcheditup。Waitabit，though；thecreamofthethingistocome。Whenhehaddonebeinghisownbarber，hecouldn’tforthelifeofhimhitonawayofgettingridoftheloosehair。Thefirewasout，andhehadnomatches；
sohecouldn’tburnit。Asforthrowingitaway，hedidn’tdaredothatinthehouseoraboutthehouse，forfearofitsbeingfound，andbetrayingwhathehaddone。Sohewrapsitallupinpaper，cramsitintohispockettobedisposedofwhenheisatasafedistancefromtheHall，takeshisbag，getsoutatthewindow，shutsitsoftlyafterhim，andmakesfortheroadasfastashislonglegswillcarryhim。Therehewalksontillacoachovertakeshim，andsotravelsbacktoLondontofindhimselfinafreshscrapeassoonasbegetsthere。Aninterestingsituation，William，andhardtravelingfromoneendofFrancetotheother，hadnotagreedtogetherinthecaseofNumberTwo。Mr。JamesSmithfoundherinbed，withdoctor’sordersthatshewasnottobemoved。TherewasnothingforitafterthatbuttoliebyinLondontilltheladygotbetter。Luckilyforus，shedidn’thurryherself；sothat，afterall，yourmistresshastothanktheverywomanwhosupplantedherforclearinghercharacterbyhelpingustofindMr。JamesSmith。\"
\"And，pray，howdidyoucomebythatloosehairofhiswhichyoushowedbeforethejusticeto—day？\"Iasked。
\"ThankNumberTwoagain，\"saysMr。Dark。\"Iwasputuptoaskingafteritbywhatshetoldme。Whileweweretalkingabouttheadvertisement，ImadesoboldastoinquirewhatfirstsetherthinkingthatherhusbandandtheMr。JamesSmithwhomwewantedmightbeoneandthesameman。’Nothing，’saysshe，’butseeinghimcomehomewithhishaircutshortandhiswhiskersshavedoff，andfindingthathecouldnotgivemeanygoodreasonfordisfiguringhimselfinthatway。Ihadmysuspicionsthatsomethingwaswrong，andthesightofyouradvertisementstrengthenedthemdirectly。’Thehearinghersaythatsuggestedtomymindthattheremightbeadifficultyinidentifyinghimafterthechangeinhislooks，andIaskedhimwhathehaddonewiththeloosehairbeforeweleftLondon。ItwasfoundinthepocketofhistravelingcoatjustashehadhuddleditupthereonleavingtheHall，worry，andfright，andvexation，havingcausedhimtoforgetallaboutit。OfcourseItookchargeoftheparcel，andyouknowwhatgooditdidaswellasIdo。Sotospeak，William，itjustcompletedthisbeautifullyneatcase。
Lookingatthematterinaprofessionalpointofview，Idon’thesitatetosaythatwehavemanagedourbusinesswithMr。JamesSmithtoperfection。Wehaveproducedhimattherighttime，andwearegoingtogetridofhimattherighttime。Byto—nighthewillbeonhiswaytoforeignpartswithNumberTwo，andhewon’tshowhisnoseinEnglandagainifhelivestotheageofMethuselah。\"
Itwasarelieftohearthatanditwasalmostasgreatacomforttofind，fromwhatMr。Darksaidnext，thatmymistressneedfearnothingthatJosephinecoulddoforthefuture。
Thechargeoftheft，onwhichshewasabouttobetried，didnotaffordtheshadowofanexcuseinlawanymorethaninlogicforalludingtothecrimewhichhermasterhadcommitted。Ifshemeanttotalkaboutitshemightdosoinherplaceoftransportation，butshewouldnothavetheslightestchanceofbeinglistenedtopreviouslyinacourtoflaw。
\"Inshort，\"saidMr。Dark，risingtotakehisleave，\"asIhavetoldyoualready，William，it’scheckmateformarmzelle。Shedidn’tmanagethebusinessoftherobberyhalfassharplyasI
shouldhaveexpected。Shecertainlybeganwellenoughbystayingmodestlyatalodginginthevillagetogiveherattendanceattheexaminations，asitmightberequired；nothingcouldlookmoreinnocentandrespectablesofar；butherhidingthepropertybetweenthemattressesofherbed——theveryfirstplacethatanyexperiencedmanwouldthinkoflookingin——wassuchanamazinglystupidthingtodo，thatIreallycan’taccountforit，unlesshermindhadmoreweighingonitthanitwasabletobear，which，consideringtheheavystakessheplayedfor，islikelyenough。
Anyhow，herhandsaretiednow，andhertonguetoo，forthematterofthat。Givemyrespectstoyourmistress，andtellherthatherrunawayhusbandandherlyingmaidwillnevereitherofthemharmheragainaslongastheylive。Shehasnothingtodonowbuttopluckupherspiritsandlivehappy。Here’slonglifetoherandtoyou，William，inthelastglassofale；andhere’sthesametoasttomyselfinthebottomofthejug。\"
WiththosewordsMr。Darkpocketedhislargesnuff—box，gavealastwinkwithhisbrighteye，andwalkedrapidlyaway，whistling，tocatchtheLondoncoach。FromthattimetothisheandIhavenevermetagain。
Afewlastwordsrelatingtomymistressandtotheotherpersonschieflyconcernedinthisnarrativewillconcludeallthatitisnownecessaryformetosay。
Forsomemonthstherelativesandfriends，andImyself，feltsadmisgivingsonmypoormistress’saccount。Wedoubtedifitwaspossible，withsuchaquick，sensitivenatureashers，thatshecouldsupporttheshockwhichhadbeeninflictedonher。Butourpowersofenduranceare，asIhavelearnedtobelieve，moreoftenequaltotheburdenslaiduponusthanweareapttoimagine。I
haveseenmanysurprisingrecoveriesfromillnessafterallhopehadbeenlost，andIhavelivedtoseemymistressrecoverfromthegriefandterrorwhichweoncethoughtwouldprovefataltoher。Itwaslongbeforeshebegantoholdupherheadagain；butcareandkindness，andtimeandchangewroughttheireffectonheratlast。Sheisnotnow，andneverwillbeagain，thewomanshewasonce；hermannerisaltered，andshelooksolderbymanyayearthanshereallyis。Butherhealthcausesusnoanxietynow；herspiritsarecalmandequal，andIhavegoodhopethatmanyquietyearsofserviceinherhouseareleftformestill。I
myselfhavemarriedduringthelongintervaloftimewhichIamnowpassingoverinafewwords。Thischangeinmylifeis，perhaps，notworthmentioning，butIamremindedofmytwolittlechildrenwhenIspeakofmymistressinherpresentposition。I
reallythinktheymakethegreathappiness，andinterest，andamusementofherlife，andpreventherfromfeelinglonelyanddriedupatheart。Itisapleasantreflectiontometorememberthis，andperhapsitmaybethesametoyou，forwhichreasononlyIspeakofit。
AsfortheotherpersonsconnectedwiththetroublesatDarrockHall，ImaymentionthevilewomanJosephinefirst，soastohavethesoonerdonewithher。Mr。Dark’sguess，whenhetriedtoaccountforherwantofcunninginhidingthestolenproperty，bysayingthathermindmighthavehadmoreweighingonitthanshewasabletobear，turnedouttobenothinglessthantheplainandawfultruth。Aftershehadbeenfoundguiltyoftherobbery，andhadbeencondemnedtosevenyears’transportation，aworsesentencefelluponherfromahighertribunalthananyinthisworld。Whileshewasstillinthecountyjail，previoustoherremoval，hermindgaveway，themadnessbreakingoutinanattempttosetfiretotheprison。Hercasewaspronouncedtobehopelessfromthefirst。Thelawfulasylumreceivedher，andthelawfulasylumwillkeephertotheendofherdays。
Mr。JamesSmith，who，inmyhumbleopinion，deservedhangingbylaw，ordrowningbyaccidentatleast，livedquietlyabroadwithhisScotchwife（ornowife）fortwoyears，andthendiedinthemostquietandcustomarymanner，inhisbed，afterashortillness。Hisendwasdescribedtomeasa\"highlyedifyingone。\"
Butashewasalsoreportedtohavesenthisforgivenesstohiswife——whichwasasmuchastosaythat_he_wastheinjuredpersonofthetwo——Itakeleavetoconsiderthathewasthesameimpudentvagabondinhislastmomentsthathehadbeenallhislife。HisScotchwidowhasmarriedagain，andisnowsettledinLondon。Ihopeherhusbandisallherownpropertythistime。
Mr。Meekemustnotbeforgotten，althoughhehasdroppedoutofthelatterpartofmystorybecausehehadnothingtodowiththeseriouseventswhichfollowedJosephine’sperjury。Intheconfusionandwretchednessofthattime，hewastreatedwithverylittleceremony，andwasquitepassedoverwhenwelefttheneighborhood。Afterpiningandfrettingsometime，asweafterwardheard，inhislonelyparsonage，heresignedhislivingatthefirstchancehegot，andtookasortofunder—chaplain’splaceinanEnglishchapelabroad。Hewritestomymistressonceortwiceayeartoaskafterherhealthandwell—being，andshewritesbacktohim。Thatisallthecommunicationtheyareeverlikelytohavewitheachother。Themusictheyonceplayedtogetherwillneversoundagain。Itslastnoteshavelongsincefadedawayandthelastwordsofthisstory，tremblingonthelipsoftheteller，maynowfadewiththem。
THENINTHDAY。
ALITTLEchangeintheweather。Therainstillcontinues，butthewindisnotquitesohigh。HaveIanyreasontobelieve，becauseitiscalmeronland，thatitisalsocalmeratsea？Perhapsnot。
Butmymindisscarcelysouneasyto—day，nevertheless。
Ihadlookedoverthenewspaperwiththeusualresult，andhadlaiditdownwiththecustomarysenseofdisappointment，whenJessiehandedmealetterwhichshehadreceivedthatmorning。Itwaswrittenbyheraunt，anditupbraidedherinthehighlyexaggeratedtermswhichladieslovetoemploy，whereanytenderinterestsoftheirownareconcerned，forherlongsilenceandherlongabsencefromhome。Home！Ithoughtofmypoorboyandoftheonehopeonwhichallhishappinessrested，andIfeltjealousofthewordwhenIsawitusedpersuasivelyinalettertoourguest。Whatrighthadanyonetomention\"home\"toheruntilGeorgehadspokenfirst？
\"Imustansweritbyreturnofpost，\"saidJessie，withatoneofsorrowinhervoiceforwhichmyheartwarmedtoher。\"Youhavebeenverykindtome；youhavetakenmorepainstointerestandamusemethanIamworth。Icanlaughaboutmostthings，butI
can’tlaughaboutgoingaway。Iamhonestlyandsincerelytoogratefulforthat。\"
Shepaused，cameroundtowhereIwassitting，perchedherselfontheendofthetable，and，restingherhandsonmyshoulders，addedgently：
\"Itmustbethedayafterto—morrow，mustitnot？\"
Icouldnottrustmyselftoanswer。IfIhadspoken，IshouldhavebetrayedGeorge’ssecretinspiteofmyself。
\"To—morrowisthetenthday，\"shewenton，softly。\"ItlookssoselfishandsoungratefultogothemomentIhaveheardthelastofthestories，thatIamquitedistressedatbeingobligedtoenteronthesubjectatall。Andyet，whatchoiceisleftme？
whatcanIdowhenmyauntwritestomeinthatway？\"
Shetookuptheletteragain，andlookedatitsoruefullythatI
drewherheadalittlenearertome，andgratefullykissedthesmoothwhiteforehead。
\"Ifyourauntisonlyhalfasanxioustoseeyouagain，mylove，asIamtoseemyson，Imustforgiveherfortakingyouawayfromus。\"Thewordscamefrommewithoutpremeditation。Itwasnotcalculationthistime，butsheerinstinctthatimpelledmetotestherinthisway，oncemore，byadirectreferencetoGeorge。
ShewassoclosetomethatIfeltherbreathquiveronmycheek。
Hereyeshadbeenfixedonmyfaceamomentbefore，buttheynowwanderedawayfromitconstrainedly。Oneofherhandstrembledalittleonmyshoulder，andshetookitoff。
\"Thankyoufortryingtomakeourpartingeasiertome，\"shesaid，quickly，andinalowertonethanshehadspokeninyet。I
madenoanswer，butstilllookedheranxiouslyintheface。Forafewsecondshernimbledelicatefingersnervouslyfoldedandrefoldedtheletterfromheraunt，thensheabruptlychangedherposition。
\"ThesoonerIwrite，thesooneritwillbeover，\"shesaid，andhurriedlyturnedawaytothepaper—caseontheside—table。
Howwasthechangeinhermannertoberightlyinterpreted？WasshehurtbywhatIhadsaid，orwasshesecretlysomuchaffectedbyit，intheimpressionablestateofhermindatthatmoment，astobeincapableofexertingayounggirl’scustomaryself—control？Herlooks，actions，andlanguagemightbeareitherinterpretation。OnestrikingomissionhadmarkedherconductwhenIhadreferredtoGeorge’sreturn。ShehadnotinquiredwhenI
expectedhimback。Wasthisindifference？Surelynot。Surelyindifferencewouldhaveledhertoasktheconventionallycivilquestionwhichninety—ninepersonsoutofahundredwouldhaveaddressedtomeasamatterofcourse。Wasshe，onherside，afraidtotrustherselftospeakofGeorgeatatimewhenanunusualtendernesswasarousedinherbythenearprospectofsayingfarewell？Itmightbe——itmightnotbe——itmightbe。Myfeeblereasontookthesideofmyinclination；and，aftervibratingbetweenYesandNo，IstoppedwhereIhadbegun——atYes。
Shefinishedtheletterinafewminutes，anddroppeditintothepost—bagthemomentitwasdone。
\"Notawordmore，\"shesaid，returningtomewithasighofrelief——\"notawordaboutmyauntormygoingawaytillthetimecomes。Wehavetwomoredays；letusmakethemostofthem。\"
Twomoredays！Eight—and—fortyhoursstilltopass；sixtyminutesineachofthosehours；andeveryminutelongenoughtobringwithitaneventfataltoGeorge’sfuture！Thebarethoughtkeptmymindinafever。FortheremainderofthedayIwasasdesultoryandasrestlessasourQueenofHeartsherself。Owenaffectionatelydidhisbesttoquietme，butinvain。EvenMorgan，whowhiledawaythetimebysmokingincessantly，wasstruckbythewretchedspectacleofnervousanxietythatI
presentedtohim，andpitiedmeopenlyforbeingunabletocomposemyselfwithapipe。Wearilyanduselesslythehoursworeontillthesunset。ThecloudsinthewesternheavenworewildandtorturedshapeswhenIlookedoutatthem；and，asthegatheringdarknessfellonus，thefatalfearfulwindroseoncemore。
Whenweassembledateight，thedrawingofthelotshadnolongeranyinterestorsuspense，sofarasIwasconcerned。Ihadreadmylaststory，anditnowonlyremainedforchancetodecidethequestionofprecedencybetweenOwenandMorgan。Ofthetwonumbersleftinthebowl，theonedrawnwasNine。ThismadeitMorgan’sturntoread，andleftitappropriatelytoOwen，asoureldestbrother，toclosetheproceedingsonthenextnight。
Morganlookedroundthetablewhenhehadspreadouthismanuscript，andseemedhalfinclinedtoopenfire，asusual，withalittlepreliminarysarcasm；buthiseyesmetmine；hesawtheanxietyIwassuffering；andhisnaturalkindness，perverselyashemightstrivetohideit，gotthebetterofhim。Helookeddownonhispaper；growledoutbriefly，\"Noneedforapreface；mylittlebitofwritingexplainsitself；let’sgoonandhavedonewithit，\"andsobegantoreadwithoutanotherwordfromhimselforfromanyofus。
BROTHERMORGAN’SSTORY
ofFAUNTLEROY。
ITwascertainlyadulllittledinner—party。Ofthefourguests，twoofusweremenbetweenfiftyandsixty，andtwoofuswereyouthsbetweeneighteenandtwenty，andwehadnosubjectsincommon。Wewereallintimatewithourhost，butwereonlyslightlyacquaintedwitheachother。Perhapsweshouldhavegotonbetteriftherehadbeensomeladiesamongus；butthemasterofthehousewasabachelor，and，excepttheparlor—maidswhoassistedinwaitingonusatdinner，nodaughterofEvewaspresenttobrightenthedrearyscene。
Wetriedallsortsofsubjects，buttheydroppedoneaftertheother。Theeldergentlemenseemedtobeafraidofcommittingthemselvesbytalkingtoofreelywithinhearingofusjuniors，andwe，onourside，restrainedouryouthfulflowofspiritsandyouthfulfreedomofconversationoutofdeferencetoourhost，whoseemedonceortwicetobefeelingalittlenervousaboutthecontinuedproprietyofourbehaviorinthepresenceofhisrespectableguests。Tomakemattersworse，wehaddinedatasensiblehour。Whenthebottlesmadetheirfirstroundatdessert，theclockonthemantel—pieceonlystruckeight。I
countedthestrokes，andfeltcertain，fromtheexpressionofhisface，thattheotherjuniorguest，whosatononesideofmeattheroundtable，wascountingthemalso。Whenwecametothefinaleight，weexchangedlooksofdespair。\"Twohoursmoreofthis！Whatonearthistobecomeofus？\"Inthelanguageoftheeyes，thatwasexactlywhatwesaidtoeachother。
Thewinewasexcellent，andIthinkweallcameseparatelyandsecretlytothesameconclusion——thatourchanceofgettingthroughtheeveningwasintimatelyconnectedwithourresolutioningettingthroughthebottles。
Asamatterofcourse，wetalkedwine。NocompanyofEnglishmencanassembletogetherforaneveningwithoutdoingthat。Everymaninthiscountrywhoisrichenoughtopayincome—taxhasatonetimeorotherinhislifeeffectedaveryremarkabletransactioninwine。Sometimeshehasmadesuchabargainasheneverexpectstomakeagain。SometimesheistheonlymaninEngland，notapeeroftherealm，whohasgotasingledropofacertainfamousvintagewhichhasperishedfromthefaceoftheearth。Sometimeshehaspurchased，withafriend，afewlastleftdozensfromthecellarofadeceasedpotentate，atapricesoexorbitantthathecanonlywaghisheadanddeclinementioningit；and，ifyouaskhisfriend，thatfriendwillwaghishead，anddeclinementioningitalso。Sometimeshehasbeenatanout—of—the—waycountryinn；hasfoundthesherrynotdrinkable；