\"Shesaysshe’dnevergonearacrabagain，notifit’severso。\"
\"Youaresure？\"saidtheProphet，eagerly。\"Youarepositiveshesaidthat？\"
\"I’dstakemyDavy，andIwouldn’tdothatoneverything。Thereain’tamanlivingas’llevergethertogowithinfiftymilesofacrabthissideofJudgment。\"
AtthispointinthecolloquythecuriosityofMadameovercameher，andsheprotrudedherheadsuddenlybeyondtheedgeofthedoorway。
\"Ulloh！\"exclaimedthevoice。\"Why，what’s’a’yougotthere？\"
Madamehastilywithdrew，andthevoicecontinued，——
\"Blessedifitain’tafemale！\"
\"Ibegyourpardon！\"saidtheProphet，tremblingwithpropriety。\"I——
I——thereisnofemalehere！\"
\"Yesthereis！\"criedthevoice，withachuckle。\"There’safemalecreepingandcrawlingaboutbehindthattheredoor。\"
TheProphet’ssenseofchivalrywasnowfullyaroused。
\"Youaremistaken，\"hesaidfirmly。\"Therearenofemalescreepingand——andcrawlingaboutinthis——thisrespectablehouse。\"
\"Respectable！\"ejaculatedthevoice，\"respectable！Isaythereisafemale。You’reaniceone，youare！’Ponmyword，I’veagoodmindtorunyouinforMormonism，Ihave。Wherever’sshegotto？\"
Onthelastwordsasuddenblazeoflightshotintothepantry，andatthesamemomenttherewasthesoundofwheelsrapidlyapproachinginthesquare。
\"Hulloh！\"saidthevoice，\"someonea—comin’。\"
Thelightdiedoutasrapidlyasithadflashedin，thewheelsdrewcloseandstopped，andabellpealedforthinthesilenthouse。
\"MercifulHeavens！\"criedtheProphet，pressinghishandstohisthrobbingbrow。\"MercifulHeavens！whocanthatbe？\"
Therewasnoanswer，andthebellpealedagain。
\"Granniewillbedisturbed！\"exclaimedtheProphet，addressinghimself，passionatelytothedarkness。\"Granniewillbekilledbyallthisuproar。\"
Thebellpealedagain。
\"Thismustcease，\"criedtheProphet。\"Thismustandshallcease。I
willbringitalltoanendonceandforever！\"
And，withsuddendesperatedecision，heshutthewindow，burstoutofthepantryandcameuponMadame，whowasstandinginasomewhatfurtivemannerbythedoorthatopenedintothecellarsofthemansion。
\"Mr。Vivian，\"shebegan，inarathersubduedvoice，\"thatisn’tacomet，that’sacopper！\"
Thebellrangagain。
\"D’youthink——d’youthinkthatcanbemyhusband？\"continuedMadame，stillseemingsubdued。\"Ishouldlikehim——Doyouthinkit’shim？\"
\"What？\"
\"Thebell。\"
\"Iwillverysoonsee，\"repliedtheProphet，inamostdeterminedmanner。
\"ButMr。Viv——\"
\"Don’tholdme，ifyouplease。Kindlyletmepass！\"
And，breakingfromthelady’sanxiousgrasp，theProphetrushedintothehalljustasGustavusappeared，descendingthefrontstairsfromthelandingbeforeMrs。Merillia’sdoor，wherehehadbeenincloseconferencewithMrs。Fancy。
\"Standback，Gustavus，\"saidtheProphet。
\"Sir！\"
\"Standback！\"
\"But，sir，thereissomeone——\"
\"Iknowthereis。Iamabouttoanswerthedoormyself。\"
\"Ifyouplease，sir，Mrs。Merilliaisgreatlyalarmedbytheconstantringing，andMrs。Fancythinks——\"
\"Gustavus，\"saidtheProphetinanawfulvoice，\"youmayretire，butfirstletmetellyouonething。\"
\"Certainly，sir，\"saidthefootman，beginningtotremble。
\"Thecircumstancesthathaverenderedahithertopeacefulhouseholdmoredisorderedthananabodeofmadmenareabouttobebroughttoanendforever。Thereisapointatwhichagentlemanmusteitherceasetobeagentlemanorceasetobeaman。Ihavereachedthatpoint，Gustavus，andIamabouttoceasetobeagentleman。\"
And，withthisterriblestatement，theProphetadvancedwithasortofappallingdeliberationandthrewthefrontdoorwideopen。
UponthedoorstepstoodLadyEnidwrappedinapinkoperacloakandSirTiglathButtshroudedintheInverness。TheProphetfacedthemwithamarbledemeanour。
\"Ithoughtyou’dbehere，Mr。Vivian，\"beganLadyEnidinabrightmanner。
\"Iamhere，\"saidtheProphet，speakinginavoicethatmightwellhaveissuedfromastatue。
\"Whereishe？\"roaredSirTiglath。\"Whereishe？Oh—h—h—h！\"
\"SirTiglathmeansMalkiel，\"explainedLadyEnid。\"Heismostanxioustomeethim。\"
\"Why？\"saidtheProphet，stillinthesameinhumanvoice。
\"Well，weshallseewhentheydomeet，\"saidLadyEnid，throwingalookofkeencuriosityattheastronomer。\"Iratherthink——\"heresheloweredhervoiceandwhisperedintheProphet’sear——\"IratherthinkSirTiglathwishestotryifhecanmurderMalkiel。Doyoubelievehecouldbringitoff？\"
\"I’msureIdon’tknow，\"answeredtheProphet，withstonyindifference。
\"Good—nighttoyou！\"
\"Butwewanttocomein，\"criedLadyEnid。
\"Youngman，\"roaredSirTiglath，\"theoldastronomerwillnotleavethishousetillhehassearcheditfromattictocellar。\"
\"Iamsorry，\"repliedtheProphet，\"butIcannotpermitmygrandmother’sservantsorwinetobedisturbedatsuchanhour。IfyouwishtomurderMalkieltheSecond，Ishallnotpreventyou，butheisnothere。\"
\"Thenwhereishe？\"criedLadyEnid。
\"Idon’tknow。Andnow——\"
TheProphetsteppedbackintothehall，andwasabouttoclosethedoorunceremoniously——having，asheintended，ceasedtobeagentleman——whenLadyEnidcaughtsightoftheroundandfixedeyesofGustavusglaringoutintothenightfrombehindhismaster。Theappallingfeminineinstinct，whichmakeswomanthemistressofcreation，suddenlywokewithinher，andshecriedoutinapiercingvoice，——
\"Malkiel’sinthehouse，andGustavusknowsit！\"
ShespokethesewordswithsuchconvictionthattheProphetspunround，top—wise，andstaredattheunfortunateflunkey，whoinstantlyfelluponhisknee—breechesandstammeredout，——
\"Oh，sir，forgiveme！It’sDr。Carterdoneit，sir，itisindeed。It’sDr。Carterdoneit！\"
\"Dr。Carter！\"ejaculatedtheProphet。
\"Thelibrary，sir。Heofferedmethelibraryeighttimesover，sir！\"
\"Whoofferedyouthelibrary？\"
\"Thegent，sir，inMr。Ferdinand’strouserings，whatwasatdinner，sir。Heonlywantedtochange’em，sir，andhesaystome，hesays，’Letme，’hesays，’butremovethesetrouserings，’hesays，’beforeI
makeofftoJava，’hesays——\"
\"Towhere？\"roaredSirTiglath。
\"ToJava，sir，wherethejellyandthesparrowsismanufactured，sir，thatisborn，sir。’And，’hesays，’hereisahundredpounds，’hesays。\"
\"Thenheisinthehouse？\"saidtheProphet，sternly。
\"Well，sir，hewas，sir。And，asIain’tseenhimgo，sir，Iexpectashe’ssomewhereaboutchangingof’em，sir。Oh，sir，ifyou’llonlylookitoversir，It’sallthethirst，sir，it’sallthethirst——\"
\"What？Youhavebeendrinking？\"criedtheProphet，inanoutragedmanner。
\"No，sir，thethirstforknowledge，sir，ashasbroughtmetothis。Oh，sir，ifonlyyou’ll——\"
\"Hush！\"saidtheProphetfiercely。\"SirTiglath，\"headded，turningtowardsthepuffingastronomer，\"youcanenter。Mygrandmothermusthavebeenright。\"
\"Yourgrandmother？\"saidLadyEnid，witheagerinquisitiveness。
\"Sheinformedmethattheruffianwasinthehouseandhadattemptedtomakeawaywithher——\"
\"Dearme！thisismostinteresting！\"interposedLadyEnid。
\"ButIsupposedshehadhadthenightmare。ItseemsthatIwaswrong。
Ifyouwillstepin，youcansearchthehouseatonce。Andifyoudiscoverthisnamelesscreaturechanginghis——thatisMr。Ferdinand’strouserings——trousers，thatis，——inanypartofthebuilding，asfarasIamconcernedyoucanmurderhimforthwith。\"
TheProphetspokequitecalmly，inasoftandlevelvoice。YettherewassomethingsofrightfulinhistoneandmannerthatevenSirTiglathseemedslightlyawe—stricken。Atanyrate，heacceptedtheProphet’sinvitationinsilence，andsteppedalmostfurtivelyintothehall，onwhosefloorGustavuswasstillposedintheconventionalattitudeoftheChristianmartyr。LadyEnideagerlyfollowed，andtheProphetwasjustabouttoclosethedoor，whenadark，hoveringfigurethatwaspausingatashortdistanceoffuponthepavementattractedhisattention。Hestoppedshort，and，perceivingthatitwasapoliceman，beckonedtoit。Thefigureapproached。
\"What’supnow？\"itsaidfamiliarly，emphasisingthequestionwithasharpcontractionofthelefteyelid。\"You’rehavinganicegameto—night，andnomistake。\"
\"Game！\"repliedtheProphet，sternly。\"Thisisnogame。Standthere，bytheareagate，andifanyoneshouldrunout，knockhimdownwithyourtruncheon。Doyouhearme？\"
Withtheseimpressivewordsheenteredthehouseandshutthedoor，leavingthepolicemantowhistleinquiringlytothestarsthatwerewatchingoverthishouse，oncepeaceful，butnowtheabodeofviolenceandtragedy。
InthehallhefoundGustavusstillonhiskneesbetweenLadyEnidandSirTiglath。
\"LadyEnid，\"hesaid，eveninthishourmindfuloftheproprieties，\"youhaveheardwhatthisvillainisdoinghere，andmustbesensiblethatyoucantakenopartinthissearch。\"
\"Oh，butIparticularlywant——\"beganLadyEnid，hastily。
\"Pardonme，\"saidtheProphet，withmorefirmnessthanNapoleonevershowedtohismarshals。\"Youmustretire。Pleasecomethisway。Mrs。
Fancywilllookafteryou。\"
\"Oh，butreally，Mr。Vivian，I——\"
\"Kindlyfollowme。\"
LadyEnidhesitatedforamoment，buttheProphet’smannerwastoomuchforher，andwhenhestepped，likeaclockworkautomatonwithasteelinterior，towardsthestaircase，shecreptmildlyinhiswake。
\"Can’tIreally——？\"shewhisperedinhisear。
\"Certainlynot。Ifyouwereamarriedwoman，possibly——\"
\"Well，butIamengaged，\"shemurmured。
TheProphetstoppedshort。
\"Engaged！\"hesaid。\"Towhom？\"
\"SirTiglath。\"
\"EngagedtoSirTiglath！\"
\"Yes。Heproposedtometo—nightatZoologicalHouse。\"
\"Why？\"
Shemightwellhaveresentedthequestion，butperhapsshedivinedthedistraughtandalmostmaniacalconditionofmindthattheProphetmaskedbeneathhisimpassivedemeanour。Atanyratesheansweredfrankly，——
\"Becausehedidn’tfindoutI’mMissMinerva，andinthemidstofMrs。
Bridgeman’ssillyworldIstoodrightoutastheonlysensiblecreatureliving。Isn’titfun？\"
\"Fun！\"
\"Yes。Ialwaysmeanthimtoproposetome。\"
\"Why？\"
\"BecauseIalwaysthoughtitwouldbesupremelyidioticofmetoaccepthim。\"
TheProphetfeltthatifhelistenedtoanotherremarkofsuchanaturehisbrainwouldsnapandhewouldinstantlybetakenwithatearingfitofhysterics。Hethereforeturnedroundandslowlyascendedtothefirstfloor。
\"Kindlystepintothedrawing—room，\"hesaid，havingfirst，byarapidglance，assuredhimselfthatMalkielwasnotchangingMr。Ferdinand’strousersthere。\"IwillsendMrs。Fancytochaperonyou。\"
LadyEnidsteppedinobediently，andtheProphet，whocoulddistinctlyhearMrs。Fancysobbingonthelandingabove，proceededthither，tookherhandandguidedherdowntothedrawing—room。
\"Oh，mypoor，poormissis！\"gulpedthedevotedcreature。\"Oh，my——\"
\"Precisely，\"rejoinedtheProphet，withpassionlessequanimity。\"Pleasegointhereandremaintoguardthisyounglady。\"
HeassistedMrs。Fancytofallinaheapuponthenearestsociable，andthen，stillmovingwithaspeciesoffrozendeliberation，betookhimselfoncemoretothehall。TheastronomerandGustavuswerestandingthereinsilence。
\"SirTiglath，\"saidtheProphet，inaveryformalmanner，\"youcannowbegintosearchforthisruffian。\"
SirTiglathclearedhisthroat，andcontinuedtostandstill。
\"Ihopeyouwillfindhim，\"continuedtheProphet。
SirTiglathclearedhisthroatagainandadded，——
\"Why？\"
\"Why？BecauseIthinkitquitetimethathewasmurdered，\"answeredtheProphet，unemotionally。\"Well！whydon’tyousearch？\"
Theastronomer，whosefacebegantolooklessredthanusual，rolledhisglassyeyesroundupontheshadowyhall，thedimstaircaseandthegloomy—lookingcloseddoorsthatconfrontedthem。
\"Whereistheoldastronomertosearch？\"heasked，inalowvoice。
\"Oh—h—h—h！\"
Thefinalexclamationsoundedremarkablytremulous。
\"Anywhere——exceptinmygrandmother’sbedroom。Thatofcourseissacred。Well，whydon’tyoubegin？\"
SirTiglatheyedtheProphetfurtively。
\"I’m——I’mgoingto，\"hemurmuredhoarsely。\"Theoldastronomerdoesnotknowthemeaningoftheword——fear。\"
Exactlyasheutteredtheseinspiringwordsthehallclockgrowled，likeaverylargedog，andstrucktwo。SirTiglathstartedandcaughtholdofGustavus，whostartedinhisturnandshrankaway。TheProphetalonestooduptotheclock，whichfinisheditsremarkwithaclick，andresumeditshabitualoccupationofticking。
\"Praybegin，SirTiglath，\"saidtheProphet。
\"Theoldastronomer——musthavea——a——a——candle。\"
\"Hereisone，\"saidtheProphet，handingthedesiredarticle。
\"Alightedcandle。\"
\"Whylighted？Oh，sothatyoucanseetomurderhim！Gustavus，lightthecandle。\"
Gustavus，whowastremblingagooddealmorethananautumnleaf，compliedafteraboutfifteenunavailingattempts。
\"There，SirTiglath，\"saidtheProphet。\"Nowyoucanbegin。\"Andheseatedhimselfuponasettee，leanedbackandcrossedhislegs。
\"Youwillnotaccompanytheoldastronomer？Oh—h—h\"
\"No。Iwillresthere。Whenyouhavefoundtheruffianandmurderedhim，Ishallbegladtohearyournews。\"
And，sosaying，theProphetsettledhimselfcomfortablywithacushionbehindhisback，andcalmlyclosedhiseyes。ThecandlestickclatteredinSirTiglath’sgoutyhand。TheProphetheardit，heardheavyfeetshufflingveryslowlyandcautiouslyoverthefloorofthehall，finallyheardthedoorleadingtotheservants’quartersswingonitshinges。Stillhedidnotopenhiseyes。Hefeltthatifheweretodosojustthenhewouldprobablybegintoshriek，rave，foamatthemouth，andinallknownwayscomporthimselfasdotheinhabitantsofBedlam。Adelicatesilencefellinthehall。HowlongitlastedtheProphetneverknew。Itmighthavebeenfiveminutesorfiveyearsasfarashewasconcerned。Itwasbrokenatlengthbythefollowingsymphonyofsounds——anelderlyman’svoiceroaring，awoman’svoiceutteringaconsiderablenumberofverypowerfulscreamsonaratherlowbutstillresoundingnote，aloudthump，acrashofglass，aprodigiousclattering，asofutensilsmadeinsomenoisymaterialfallingfromaheightandrollingvigorouslyininnumerabledirections，twoorthreebangsofdoors，andthepeculiarpatterofratherlargeandflatfeet，unaccustomedtoanyrapidexercise，movingoverboards，oilclothandcarpet。Thentheswingdoorsang，andtheProphet，openinghiseyes，perceivedMadameMalkielmovingforwardwithconsiderablevivacity，andscreamingasshemoved，herbonnetdependingdownherbackandtherabbit—skinsflowingfromherampleshoulders。Immediatelybehindherranherspouse，holdinginonehandasilverpeppercastor，andintheotherasmallandverybeautifullyfinishedbronzeteapotoftheWilliamofOrangeperiod。Theworthycouplefleetedby，andtheProphetturnedhisexpressionlesseyestowardstheswingdoorexpectingimmediatelytoperceiveSirTiglathButtinvaliantpursuit。Asnosuchfigurepresenteditself，andastheMalkielswerenowbeginningtomountthestairswithcontinuallyincreasingvelocity，theProphetslowlyuncrossedhislegs，andwasthinkingofgettinguponhisfeetwhentherecamealoudknockuponthehalldoor。
\"Gustavus！\"saidtheProphet，glancinground。
Heperceivedthefootmanlyinginadeadfaintneartheumbrellastand。
\"Oh！\"hesaid，speakingtohimselfaloud。\"Oh！ThenImustgomyself。\"
Actinguponhisconceptionofhisduty，heaccordinglywalkedtothefrontdoor，openedit，andfoundthepolicemanoutsidesupportingthesenselessformofSirTiglathButtinonehandandholdingabrokentruncheonintheother。
\"Well？\"saidtheProphet，calmly。\"Well？\"
\"Iknockedhimdownashewasmakingabolt，\"saidthepoliceman。
TheProphetfoundhimselfwonderingwhysoindustriousandevenusefulanoccupationshouldbeinterferedwithinsuchamanner。However，heonlyreplied，——
\"Indeed！\"
\"Ah，\"saidthepoliceman，steppingintothehallandlayingtheastronomeroutacrossachair，\"what’sup？\"
\"Theyarebothup，\"answeredtheProphet，pointingwithalethargicfingertowardsthestaircase，fromwhich，atthismoment，aroseaperfecthubbubofvoices。
\"Comeon！\"criedthepoliceman。
\"Why？\"askedtheProphet。
\"Why！you’reaniceun，youare！Why！Andnab’em，ofcourse！\"
\"Youthinkitwouldbewiseto——whatwastheword——nabthem？\"inquiredtheProphet。\"Youreallythinkso？\"
\"Well，whatamIhereforthen？\"saidthepoliceman，withangryirony。
\"Oh，ifyouprefer，\"rejoinedtheProphet，civilly。\"Nabthembyallmeans。Ishallnotpreventyou。\"
Thepoliceman，whowasanactiveandindustriousfellowdeservingofpraise，waitedfornofurtherpermission，butimmediatelydartedupthestairs，andinlessthanaminutereturnedwithMrs。Merillia——attiredinablacksilkgown，abonnet，andanIndianshawlpresentedtoheronhermarriagebyaverygreatpersonage——inclosecustody。
\"Here’soneof’em！\"heshouted。\"Here，youlayholdofherwhileI
fetchtherest！\"
AndwiththesewordshethrusttheProphet’sgrandmotherintooneofhishands，thebrokentruncheonintotheother，andturningsmartlyround，againboundedupthestairs。
InafamouspoemofthelateLordTennysonthereisrelatedadramaticincidentofaladywhosedisinclinationtocry，whensuchemotionwouldhavebeenonlynatural，wasovercomebythepresentationtoherofherchild。AsomewhatsimilareffectwasproduceduponourProphetbytheconstable’spresentationtohimofhishonouredgrandmother。Thesightofherreverenthead，surmountedbythebonnetwhichshehadassumedinreadinesstofleefromthehousewhichshecouldnolongerregardasahome——thetouchofherdelicatehand——theflutterofhersohallowedIndianshawl——thesethingsbrokedownthestrangecalmofherdevotedgrandson。Likesummertempestcamehisemotion，and，whenthepolicemanpresentlyreturnedwithMalkieltheSecondandMadamenabbedbyhisrightandlefthands，andfollowedbyLadyEnidandtheweepingMrs。
Fancy，hewasconfrontedbyamostpathetictableau。TheProphetandMrs。Merilliawereweepingineachother’sarm’swhileSirTiglathandGustavus——justreturnedtoconsciousness——wereengagedinexaminingtheproceedingwithpuppydog’seyes。
Overtheexplanationsthatensuedaveilmaybepartiallydrawn。Oneliftedcorner，however，allowsustonotethatSirTiglathButt，havingcomeuponMadamehiddenbehindabinofoldportintheProphet’scellar，hadbeenseizedbyadesirenottoalarmaladysoprofoundthatitpromptedhimtohurrytothebutler’spantry，andtoseekconcealmentintheverycupboardwhichalreadycontainedMalkieltheSecond。Onperceivingthatgentlemanperchedupontheloving—cup，andprotectedbycandlesticks，sugarbasins，teapotsandotherweapons，theastronomer’sanxietytobecomeamurdererapparentlyforsookhim。Atanyrate，hepassedthroughtheplate—glassofthewindowratherhastilyintothearea，where，asweknow，hereceivedthesolicitousattentionsofthepolicemanwhohadservedasanintermediarybetweentheLordChancellor’ssecondcook——whosesupperofdressedcrabhadcausedsomuchconfusion——andthesupposedMr。Ferdinand。MalkieltheSecond，findinghimselfdiscovered，tooktotheopenjustasMadamefledforthfromthecellar，tobeovertakenbytheverynaturalmisconceptionthatshewasabouttobecomethevictimofahusbandwhosejealousyhadatlengthcausedhimtoassumehis/togavirilibus/。
PerhapsitwasSirTiglath’sthrowingoffofthesaidgarmentwhichcausedLadyEnidtothrowhimover。Atanyrate，sheeventuallymarriedMr。RobertGreenandmadehimaverysensiblewife。
TheMalkielsreturnedtotheMouse，wheretheystilllive，andstillcarryonacertainamountofintercoursewitharchitectsandtheirwives。Fromtimetotime，however，theyattendthereceptionsatZoologicalHouse，andarumourrecentlyranthroughthecirclesofthesillytotheeffectthattheyhadbeenlookingatahousenotfarfromtheEarlsCourtStation，withaview——itissurmised——ofremovingtomorecentraldistricts。
TheyarenolongerontermswiththeProphet。
Hehasretiredfrombusinessandputdownhistelescopeonceandforall，recognisingthatprophecyisadangerousemployment，andonelikelytobringabouttheveryevilsitforeshadows。CalmlyhedwellswithhisbelovedgrandmotherintheBerkeleySquare，whichhasreceivedthemoncemoreintoitsformerfavour。Sometimes，atnight，whentheskyisclear，andthebrightstars，theguardianstars，keepwatchoverhisaristocraticneighbourhood，hedrawsasidethecurtainfromthedrawing—roomwindowandglancesforthatMercuryandUranus，Jupiter，SaturnandVenus。Andwhenhiseyesmeettheirtwinklingeyes，heexchangeswiththem——notaquestionandanswer，notademandforunholyinformationandareluctantreply，butaserene，gentlemanlyandperfectlydecorousgood—night。
End