Whatcreaturecantherebesobaseastowishtotakemylifemerelyonaccountofmysendingyoutelegrams？Madamehasbeendriventodespairbyyourannouncement，andI，myself，althoughnoordinaryman，am，veryrightlyandproperly，goingaboutinfearofmylifesincereceiptofyourlasttelegram。Underthesecircs，andbeingunabletowaituponyouourselvesforafullexplanation，wearesendingourverylife—bloodtoyou——perrailand’bus——withstrictorderstobringyouatoncetothebanksoftheMouse，theretoconferwithMadameandselfandarrangesuchmeasuresofprecautionasaresuitedtotherequirementsofthesituationasindicatedbyyou。
\"JUPITERSAGITTARIUS。
\"P。S。——Youaretobringwithyou，accordingtosolemnoath，allprophecyconcerninggrandmother，Crab，etc。，gathereduptodate，togetherwithfulldetailsofsame’sremovalfromthebottle，cuttingofherfirsttooth，short—coating，goingintoskirts，puttingofhairup，dayofmarriageandwidowhood，illnesses——
especiallyrashes——andsoforth。/Aborigino/。
\"MADAMESAGITTARIUS。\"
OnreadingthiscommunicationtheProphetfeltthatallfurtherstrugglewasuseless。Fate——cruelandremorselessFate——hadhiminhergrasp。Hecouldonlybowhisheadandsubmittoherhorribledecrees。
HecouldonlygoupstairsandatonceprepareforthejourneytotheMouse。
Helaidtheletterdownandgotup，fixinghiseyesuponthekids，whosatsolemnlyawaitinghisfurtherprocedure。
\"You——Isupposeyouknow，mylittleones，whatthis——whatyouhavetodo？\"hesaid。
\"Notsolittle，ifyouplease，Mr。Vivian，\"returnedtheboy。\"Yes，we’vegottotakeyouwithustoseepaterfamilias。\"
\"Andmaterfamiliar——familias，\"addedthelittlegirl。
\"Isee——youknow，\"saidtheProphet，inadespairingvoice。\"Verywell。
Waitherequietly——veryquietly，whileIgoandgetready。\"
\"Andpleasedon’tforgettheCrabandgrandmother，rashes，etceterus，\"
saidthelittlegirl。
\"TeraCorona，\"pipedherbrother。
\"Iwon’t，\"saidtheProphet。\"Iwillnot。\"
Andhetotteredoutoftheroom，carryingtheSagittariusletterinhishand。
Inthehallhepausedforamoment，holdingontothebalustersandre—
readinghisdirections。Thenhecrawledslowlyupthestairsandsoughthisgrandmother’sroom。
CHAPTERXIV
THEPROPHETJOURNEYSTOTHEMOUSE
Mrs。MerilliawasjustbeginningtorecoverfromtheprostrationoftheprecedingdaywhentheProphetcameintotheroomwhereshewasseatedwithMrs。FancyQuinglet。Shelookedupathimalmostbrightly，butstartedwhenshesawhowagitatedheseemed。
\"Grannie，\"saidtheProphet，abruptly，\"youwouldtellmeanything，wouldn’tyou？\"
\"Why，ofcourse，mydearboy。Butwhatabout？\"
\"About——aboutyourself？\"
Mrs。Merillialookedverymuchastonished。
\"Thereisnothingtohide，Hennessey，\"shesaidwithgentledignity。
\"Youknowthat。\"
\"Ido，Ido，\"criedtheProphet，passionately。\"Yourshasbeenthebest，thesweetestlifetheworldhaseverknown！\"
\"Well，Idon’twishtoimply——\"
\"ButIdo，grannie，Ido。CanFancyleaveusforamoment？\"
\"Certainly。Fancy，youcangotoyourtatting。\"
\"Yes，ma’am。\"
\"MrHennesseyhassomethingtoexplaintome。\"
\"Oh，ma’am，thehousesthathavebeenbrokeupbyexplainings！\"
Andwiththis，astheProphetthought，appallinglyappropriateexclamation，Mrs。Fancyhurriedfeverishlyfromtheroom。
\"Nowwhatisthequestionyouwishtoaskme，Hennessey？\"saidMrs。
Merillia，withasoftdignity。
\"Thereare——onemoment——thereareeightquestions，grannie，\"respondedtheProphet，shrinkingvisiblybeforethedreadnecessitybywhichhefoundhimselfconfronted。
\"Eight！Somany？\"
\"Yes，oh，indeed，yes。\"
\"Well，mydear，andwhatarethey？\"
\"Thefirstis——is——grannie，whenwereyouremovedfrom——fromthebottle？\"
AverydelicateflushcreptintoMrs。Merillia’scharmingcheeks。
\"Thebottle，Hennessey！Never，never！\"shesaid，withasortofpatheticindignation。\"Howcouldyousuppose——I——thebottle——\"
Herprettyoldvoicediedaway。
\"Answered，darlinggrannie，answered！\"ejaculatedtheProphet。
Please——pleasedon’t！\"Andnow——yourfirsttooth？\"
\"Myfirstwhat！\"criedMrs。Merilliainalmostterrifiedamazement。
\"Tooth——whendidyoucutit？\"
\"Ihavenoidea。Surely，Hennessey——\"
\"Answered，dearestgrannie！\"criedtheProphet，withgatheringagitation。\"Didyoueverwearashortcoat？\"
\"I——I’mnotaman！\"
\"Youdidn’t！Alwaysaskirt？\"
\"Ofcourse！Why——\"
\"Andyou’resixty—eightonthetwentieth。Soforsixty—eightyearsyou’vealwayswornaskirt。That’sfour。\"
\"Fourwhat？Areyou——？\"
\"Whendidyouputyourhairup，grannie，darling？\"
\"Myhair——never。YouknowI’vealwayshadamaidtodothesethingsforme。Fancy——\"
\"Ofcourse。You’veneverputyourhairup。Imighthaveknown。Youweremarriedveryyoung，weren’tyou？\"
\"Ah，yes。Onmyseventeenthbirthday，andwasleftawidowinexactlytwoyears’time。Yourpoordeargranf——\"
\"Thankyou，grannie，thankyou！Seven！\"
\"Sevenwhat，Hennessey？Onewouldth——\"
\"Andnow，deargrannie，tellmeonething，onlyonelittlethingmore。
About——thatis，talkingofrashes——\"
\"Rashers！\"
\"No，grannie，rashes——illnesses，youknow，thattakeanepidemicform。\"
\"Well，whataboutthem？Surelythereisn’tanepidemicinthesquare？\"
\"Howmanyhaveyouhad，grannie？\"
\"Where？Hadwhat？\"
\"Here，anywhereinthesquare，grannie。\"
\"Hadwhatinthesquare？\"
\"Rashes。\"
\"I！Havearashinthesquare！\"
\"Exactly。Haveyouever——anepidemic，youknow？\"
\"IhaveanepidemicinBerkeleySquare？Youmustbecrazy，Hennessey！\"
\"Probably，verylikely，grannie。Buthaveyou？Tellmequickly！Haveyou？\"
\"Certainlynot！Asifanygentlewoman——\"
\"Answered，grannie，answered！Eight！\"
\"Eightwhat？\"
\"Questions。Thankyou，dearestgrannie。Iknewyou’dtellme，Iknewyouwould！\"
AndtheProphetrushedfromtheroom，leavingMrs。MerilliainaconditionthatcannotbedescribedandthatnotallthesubsequentministrationsofMrs。FancyQuingletwereabletoalleviate。
Havingreachedthehall，theProphethastilyputonhiscoatandhatandcalledMr。Ferdinandtohim。
\"Mr。Ferdinand，\"hesaid，assumingafixedandstonydignitytoconcealhisagitationanddismay，\"Iamleavingthehouseatoncewiththe——theladyandgentlemanwhoareinthelibrary。\"
AtthisdescriptionofthekidsMr。Ferdinandwasverynearlyseizedwithconvulsions。However，ashesaidnothingandmerelywrunghislargehands，theProphet，afteraslightpause，continued，——
\"Imaybeawaysometime，soifMrs。Merilliashouldmakeanyinquiry，youwillsaythatIhavelefttopayavisittosomefriends。\"
\"Yes，sir。ShallItellGustavustopackyourthings？\"
\"Certainlynot。\"
TheProphetwasturningtowardsthelibrarywhenMr。Ferdinandadded，——
\"Whenshallweexpectyouback，sir？AmItoforwardyourletters？\"
\"No，no。Ishallreturninafewhours。\"
\"Oh，Ibegpardon，sir。Andifanytelegrams——\"
\"Therewillnotbeany。Iamnowgoingtoanswerthetelegramsinperson。\"
\"Yes，sir。\"
\"Comealong，mychildren，\"criedtheProphet，puttinghisheadintothelibrary。
\"Notyourchildren，ifyouplease，Mr。Vivian，\"repliedthelittleboy。
\"Corona，comeon。\"
\"Howdowego，mydears？\"askedtheProphet，withanattemptatgaiety，andendeavouringtoignoretheprostrateddemeanourofMr。Ferdinand，whowasinwaitingtoopenthehalldoor。
\"Bythepurple’busasfarasthePorkButcher’sRest，\"pipedthelittleboy——（atthispointMr。Ferdinandcouldnotrefrainfromaslightexclamation）——\"thenwetakethetraintotheMouse，Mouse，Mouse。\"
\"Mus，Mus，Mus，\"chantedthelittlegirl。
AsMr。Ferdinandwasunabletoopenthedoor，paralysishavingapparentlysupervened，theProphetdidso，andthecheerfullittlepartyemergeduponthesteptofindLadyEnidThistleintheveryactofpressingtheelectricbell。Whenshebeheldthevivacioustrio，allagogfortheirmorning’sexpedition，comethussuddenlyuponher，shecriedoutmusically，——
\"Why，whereareyouoffto？\"
TheProphetwasmuchembarrassedbytheencounter。
\"Iamtakingtheselit\"——hecaughtthestaringeyeofCapricornus——
\"thesefriendsofmineforalittlewalk，\"hesaid。
\"I’llcomewithyou，\"saidLadyEnid，withanalmostHighlanddecision。
\"I’vegotsomethingtosaytoyou，andwecantalkaswego。\"
Sheglancedveryinquisitivelyindeedatthetwochildren，whohadbeguntofriskatsightofthesquareallbathedinwintersunshine。
TheProphetwasverymuchupset。
\"Don’tyouthink——\"hebegan。
\"Itwillbedelightfultohavesomeexercise，\"sheinterruptedfirmly。
\"Whichwayareyougoing？\"
\"Whichway！Oh，to——towards——\"
TheProphetstopped。Hedidnotknowfromwhatpointthepurple’busstartedtogainthePorkButcher’sRest。Capricornushastenedtoinformhim。
\"Wetakethepurple’busatthecornerofAirStreet，\"hepiped。
\"Thepurple’bus！\"criedLadyEnid。\"Thepurplebus！\"
SheglancedsearchinglyattheProphet。
\"Ah！\"shemurmured，\"soyouaretakingapurple’bustoyourdoublelife！\"
Hecouldnotdenyit。TheywerenowallwalkingforwardinthesunandasthelittleCoronaandCapricornusbecamespeedilyintentuponthewondersofthiscentraldistrict，LadyEnidandtheProphetwereabletohaveaquietwordortwotogether。
\"Icametotellyou，\"shesaid，\"thatMrs。VaneBridgemanwillexpectyouto—nightat——\"
\"Iamengagedateleven，\"criedtheProphet，indespairattheimpositionofthisfreshburdenuponhiswearyshoulders。
\"Iknow。TotheLordChancellor，but——\"
\"No。IhaveanengagementwhichIdarenotbreak，athome。\"
\"Really！\"
Shegazedathimwithherlarge，handsomegreyeyes，andadded，——
\"Idobelieveyou’resillyenoughtoliveyourdoublelifeathomesometimes。Howsplendid！\"
\"No，no！Iassureyou——\"
\"Ofcourseyoudo！Youdearfoolishthing！You’reeversomuchsillierthanIam。You’remymaster。\"
\"No，indeed，no，no！\"
\"ButyoucangotoMrs。Bridgeman’sforanhoureasily。SheexpectsyouandI’vepromisedthatyouwillgo。\"
\"It’sverykindofyou，butreally——\"
\"Sothat’ssettled。You’llmeetmethere，butdon’tforgetI’mMissMinervaPartridge。TheaddressisZoologicalHouse，Regent’sPark，thatbighouseinagardenjustoutsidetheZoo。\"
\"ThebighouseintheZoologicalGardens，\"saidtheProphet，feebly。
\"Thankyouverymuch。\"
\"No，no，outsidetheZoo。Andthenwecanarrangeto—nightaboutyourintroducinghertoMr。Sagittarius。\"
\"Hush！Hush！\"whisperedtheProphet。
Buthewastoolate。Thelongearsofthelittlepitchershadcaughtthewell—knownword。
\"Why，that抯paterfamilias，\"pipedthelittleCapricornus。
\"Andmaterfamiliaris，\"addedthelittleCorona。
\"Youdon’tmeantosay，\"criedLadyEnidtotheProphet，\"thatthesearethechildrenofMr。Sagittarius？\"
TheProphetbenthishead。
\"Howveryinteresting！\"saidLadyEnid。\"Everythingisworkingoutmostbeautifully。Imustgetthemsomechocolates。\"
Andsheimmediatelysteppedintoaconfectioner’sandcameoutwithabeautifulboxofbon—bons，tiedwithamethystribbon，whichshegavetothedelightedchildren。
\"Iknowyourdearfather，\"shesaid。\"AtleastIknowwhoheis。\"
AndshelookedfirmlyattheProphet，whodroppedhiseyes。TheywerenowatthecornerofAirStreet，andthepurple’buscouldbeseenloomingbrilliantlyinthedistance。
\"Good—bye，LadyEnid，\"saidtheProphet。
\"Oh，I’llseeyouoff，\"shereplied，evidentlyresolvedtosatisfysomefurther，unexpressedcuriosity。
\"Thereitis！\"criedCapricornus。\"It’scoming！Thereitis！\"
\"Isn’titpretty？\"shriekedthelittleCorona，whowasevidentlygrowingmuchexcitedbythechocolatesandthecentralnessofthewholething。\"Let’sgoonthetop！Let’sgoonthetop！\"
Shebegantojumponthepavement，andherbrotherwasjustabouttofollowherexamplewhensomesuddenideastruckhimintogravity。HeturnedtotheProphetandexclaimedsolemnly，——
\"Oh，ifyouplease，Mr。Vivian，haveyougotthecrabwithyou？\"
\"Thecrab！\"criedLadyEnid，withmuchvivacity。
\"Yes，yes，myboy，it’sallright！\"saidtheProphet，hastily。
\"Notyourboy，ifyouplease，Mr。Vivian，\"returnedthelittleinquisitor。\"Andhaveyougotthefisttooth？\"
\"Yes，yes！\"
\"Andtherashes，andthehonouredgrandmother，and——\"
\"I’vegoteverything，\"criedtheProphet，\"everysinglething！\"
\"BecausematerfamiliassaidIwastomakeyoubringthemifIstayedforthemallday。\"
\"Yes，yes，they’reallhere——everyone。\"
LadyEnidwasgazingattheProphet’sslimformwithalmostpassionatecuriosity。Itwasevidentlyaproblemtoherhowhehadmanagedtoconcealsomanyvariouscommoditiesabouthispersonwithoutalteringhisshape。However，shehadnotimetostudythematter，foratthismomentthepurple’busjerkedalongthekerb，andthevoiceoftheconductorwasheardcrying，——
\"PorkButcher’sRest！Allthewayonepenny！Pork——penny——alltheway——
Butcher’s——Rest——one——Pork——all——Pork——penny——Pork——Butcher’s——Pork——
Rest——Pork——penny！\"
WithahastyfarewelltheProphet，accompanied，andindeedcloselyclutched，bythelittleCoronaandCapricornus，scrambledfanatically，andnotwithouttwoorthreeheavyfalls，tothesummitofthe’bus，whileLadyEnidreadthelegendprintedonitwithasmile，eresheturnedtowalkhome，puttingtwoandtwotogether，andthinking，withkeenfemininesatisfaction，howuselessinthelongrunareallthenegativesofman。
Inlateryears，thoughmanymemoriesintervene，theProphetwillneverforgethisjourneytothebanksoftheMouse。Alwaysitseemedverystrangetohimanddream—like，thateverlastingjourneyuponthepurple’bus，complicatedbythechatteroftheyoungerscionsoftheMalkieldynasty，andbytheshrillcriesoftheconductorsummoningthepassers—bytohastentothatplaceofreposeconsecratedtotheworthyandhard—workingindividualswhodrewtheirmodestincomesfromthepig。Thecharacterofthestreetschangedasthecentraldistrictswereleftbehind，andacuriousscent，thescentofSuburbia，seemedtofloatbetweenthetallchimneysinthemoroseatmosphere。Thepurplechariot，whichrolledonandonlikethechariotofFate，drewgraduallyawayfromthelargethoroughfaresintomeanstreets，whoseairofdullgentilitywasforeverautumnal，andtheProphet，onpassingsomegiganticgasworks，mechanicallywonderedwhetheritmightnot，perhaps，bethatmonumenttowhoseshadowMalkieltheFirsthadlivedanddied。Once，lookingupattheblacksky，heremarkedtothelittleCapricornusthatitwasevidentlygoingtorain。
\"No，Mr。Vivian，\"repliedtheboy。\"Itwon’trainhardthisweek。
January’safinemonth，butthere’llbeheavyfloodsinMarch，especiallyalongthebanksoftheThames。\"
\"AndinFebruarythere’llbesuchalotofscarletfeverinthesouthernportionsofEngland，\"addedthelittleCorona。\"Oh，Corney，justlookatthatkittyontheaireyrailings！\"
\"Area，Corona，\"correctedherbrother。\"Oh，my！ain’titfunny？\"
TheProphetrememberedthathewastravellingwiththescionsofaprophetichouse。
Itseemedmanyyearsbeforethe’busstoppedbeforeabrickbuildingfullofquartpots，situateduponagentleeminenceslopingtoacoal—
yard，andthevoiceoftheconductorproclaimedthattheplaceofreposewasreached。TheProphetandhisdiminutiveguidesdescendedfromtheroofandwereshortlyinatrainpuffingbetweenthehunchedbacksofabominablelittlehouses，sootyasstreetcatsandalivewithcryingbabies。Thenbitsofwastelandappeared，baldwildernessesinwhichfragmentsofbrokencrockeryhibernatedwitholdtincansandkettlesyellowasdyingleaves。Afurtivebrownrivuletwanderedhereandtherelikeathingendeavouringtoconcealitselfandunabletofindahiding—place。
\"That’stheMouse，Mr。Vivian，\"remarkedCapricornus，proudly。\"Weshallsoonbethere。\"
\"Ridiculummus，\"rejoinedhissister，whoevidentlytookafterherlearnedmother。
\"Culus，Corona；andyou’renottosaythat。PaterfamiliassaysthattheMouseisanoblestream。Wegetouthere，Mr。Vivian。\"
Hereprovedtobeawaysidestationontheverybankofthenoblestream，andontheedgeofapieceofwastegroundsolargethatitmightalmosthavebeencalledcountry。
TheProphetandthetwokidssetoffacrossthisearth，whichwasnamedbytheinhabitants\"theCommon。\"InthedistanceroseafringeofdetachedbrickandstonevillastowardswhichCapricornusnowpointedaforefingerthattrembledwithpride。
\"That’swherewelive，\"hesaid，inavoicethatwasgrownsqueakyfromconceit。
\"Dulcedomus，\"pipedhissister，clutchingtheskirtoftheProphet’scoat，and，thussupported，performingseveralveryelaboratedancingstepsupontheclayeysoiloverwhichhewasfeeblystaggering。\"Dulcedulce，dulcedomus。Lookatthatrat，Corney！\"
Alarge，rakingrodent，indeed，atthatinstantemergedfromthewreckageofwhathadoncebeenacoppercauldronnearby，andwalkedslowlyawaytowardsaslopeofdustgarnishedwithbrokenbottlesandabandonedcabbagestalks。TheProphetshudderedandlongedtoflee，butthetwokids，asifdivininghisthought，nowclaspedhishandsandledhimfirmlyforwardtoayellowvilla，fringedwithwhiteBathstoneandgarnishedplentifullywithgriffins。FromitsflatfrontshotostentatiouslyforthaporchadornedwithRomancolumnswhichcommandedanearviewoftheMouse，andbeforetheporchwasasmallgardeninwhichseveralhealthy—lookingnettleshadmadetheirhome。
AstheProphetandthetwokidsapproachedthisdelightfulabode，awhitefaceappeared，gluingitselftothepaneofanupperwindow。
\"There’spaterfamilias！\"pipedCapricornus。\"Don’thelookill？\"
Astheymountedtheflightofimitationmarblestepsthefacedisappearedabruptly。
\"He’scomingtoletusin，\"saidCapricornus。\"You’resureyou’vebroughtthecrabandalltherashes？\"
\"Quitesure。\"
\"Because，ifyouhaven’t，Idon’tknowwhatevermaterfamilias’ll——\"
Atthismomenttheportalofthelodgewasfurtivelyopenedabouthalfaninch，andaverysmallsegmentofashen—colouredhumanface，containingalargeandapprehensiveeye，wasshownintheaperture。
\"Areyoualone？\"saidthehollowvoiceofMr。Sagittarius。
\"Quite，quitealone，\"saidtheProphet，reassuringly。
\"It’sallright，paterfamilias！\"criedCapricornus。\"He’sbroughtalltherashesandthefirsttoothandeverything。Imadehim。\"
\"Idon’tthinkhewantedto，\"addedthelittleCorona，suddenlydevelopingmalice。
\"I’vetakenthislongjourney，Mr。Sagittarius，\"saidtheProphet，witharemnantofself—respect，\"atyourspecialrequest。AmItobepermittedtocomein？\"
\"Ifyou’resureyou’requitealone，\"returnedthesage，showingaslightlyenlargedsegmentofface。
\"Iamquitesure——positive！\"
Atthisthedoorwasopenedjustsufficientlytoadmitthepassageofonethinpersonatatime，and，insinglefile，theProphet，CoronaandCapricornuspassedintothelodge。
CHAPTERXV
THEPROPHETCREATESADIVERSIONATHISOWNEXPENSE
Onsteppingintoasmallvestibule，pavedwithblackandwhitelozenges，andfittedupwithanironumbrellastand，aMoorishlampandalargeyellowchinapugdog，theProphetfoundhimselfatoncefacedbyMr。Sagittarius，whosepallidcountenance，nervouseyeandsuspiciousdemeanourplainlyproclaimedhimtobe，ashehadstated，veryrightlyandproperlygoingaboutinfearofhislife。
\"Gototheschoolroom，mydarlings，\"hewhisperedtohischildren。
\"Why，whathaveyouthere？\"
\"Choclets，\"saidCapricornus。
\"Fromtheprettylady，muliuspulchrum，\"addedthelittleCorona。
\"Whoisamulibuspulchrum，mylove？\"askedMr。Sagittarius，beforeCapricornushadtimetocorrecthissister’sLatin。
\"ItwasMissMinerva，\"saidtheProphet。\"Wehappenedtomeether。\"
\"Indeed，sir。Runaway，mypretties，anddon’teatmorethanoneeach，ormaterfamiliaswillnotapprove。
Then，asthelittleonesdisappearedintotheshadowsoftheregionabove，headdedtotheProphet，——
\"You’venearlybeenthedeathofMadame，sir。\"
\"I’msureI’mverysorry，\"saidtheProphet。
\"Sorrowisnosalve，sir，nosalveatall。WereitnotforherbooksI
fearwemighthavelosther。\"
\"Goodgracious！\"