Leavingthesofawithasigh。asifhewastiredofit，hebeganwalkingupanddown。Heseemedtobestillingoodspirits。
\"Well，mydear，\"hesaid，\"whatcanIdoforyou？\"
\"Icamehere，papatoseeiftherewasanythingIcoulddoforYou。\"
Helookedatsomesheetsofpaper，strungtogether，andlaidonthetable。Theywerecoveredwithwriting（fromhisdictation）inmysister’shand。\"Ioughttogetonwithmywork，\"hesaid。
\"WhereisHelena？\"
Itoldhimthatshehadgoneout，andbeggedleavetotrywhatI
coulddotosupplyherplace。
Therequestseemedtopleasehim；buthewantedtimetothink。I
waited；noticingthathisfacegrewgraduallyworriedandanxious。Therecameavacantlookintohiseyeswhichitgrievedmetosee；heappearedtohavequitelosthimselfagain。\"Readthelastpage，\"hesaid，pointingtothemanuscriptonthetable；
\"Idon’trememberwhereIleftoff。\"
Iturnedtothelastpage。AswellasIcouldtell，itrelatedtosomepublication，whichhewasrecommendingtoreligiouspersonsofourwayofthinking。
BeforeIhadreadhalf—waythroughit，hebegantodictate，speakingsorapidlythatmypenwasnotalwaysabletofollowhim。MyhandwritingisasbadasbadcanbewhenIamhurried。Tomakemattersworsestill，Iwasconfused。WhathewasnowsayingseemedtohavenothingtodowithwhatIhadbeenreading。
LetmetryifIcancalltomindthesubstanceofit。
Hebeganinthemoststrangelysuddenwaybyasking：\"Whyshouldtherebeanyfearofdiscovery，wheneverypossiblecarehadbeentakentopreventit？Thedangerfromunexpectedeventswasfarmoredisquieting。Amanmightfindhimselfboundinhonortodisclosewhatithadbeenthechiefanxietyofhislifetoconceal。Forexample，couldheletaninnocentpersonbethevictimofdeliberatesuppressionofthetruth——nomatterhowjustifiablethatsuppressionmightappeartobe？Ontheotherhand，dreadfulconsequencesmightfollowanhonorableconfession。
Theremightbeacruelsacrificeoftenderaffection；theremightbeashockingbetrayalofinnocenthopeandtrust。\"
Irememberthoselastwords，justashedictatedthem，becausehesuddenlystoppedthere；looking，poordear，distressedandconfused。Heputhishandtohishead，andwentbacktothesofa。
\"I’mtired，\"hesaid。\"WaitformewhileIrest。\"
Inafewminuteshefellasleep。Itwasadeepreposethatcametohimnow；and，thoughIdon’tthinkitlastedmuchlongerthanhalfanhour，itproducedawonderfulchangeinhimforthebetterwhenhewoke。Hespokequietlyandkindly；andwhenhereturnedtomeatthetableandlookedatthepageonwhichIhadbeenwriting，hesmiled。
\"Oh，mydear，whatbadwriting！IdeclareIcan’treadwhatI
myselftoldyoutowrite。No！no！don’tbedownheartedaboutit。
Youarenotusedtowritingfromdictation；andIdaresayIhavebeentooquickforyou。\"Hekissedmeandencouragedme。\"YouknowhowfondIamofmylittlegirl，\"hesaid；\"IamafraidI
likemyEunicejusttheleastintheworldmorethanIlikemyHelena。Ah，youarebeginningtolookalittlehappiernow！\"
HehadfilledmewithsuchconfidenceandsuchpleasurethatI
couldnothelpthinkingofmysweetheart。Ohdear，whenshallI
learntobedistrustfulofmyownfeelings？ThetemptationtosayagoodwordforPhilipquitemasteredanylittlediscretionthatIpossessed。
Isaidtopapa：\"IfyouknewhowtomakemehappierthanIhaveeverbeeninallmylifebefore，wouldyoudoit？\"
\"OfcourseIwould。\"
\"ThensendforPhilip，dear，andbealittlekindertohim，thistime。\"
Hispalefaceturnedredwithanger；hepushedmeawayfromhim。
\"Thatmanagain！\"heburstout。\"AmInevertohearthelastofhim？Goaway，Eunice。Youareofnousehere。\"Hetookupmyunfortunatepageofwritingandridiculeditwithabitterlaugh。
\"Whatisthisfitfor？\"Hecrumpleditupinhishandandtosseditintothefire。
IranoutoftheroominsuchastateofmortificationthatI
hardlyknewwhatIwasabout。Ifsomehard—heartedpersonhadcometomewithacupofpoison，andhadsaid：\"Eunice，youarenotfittoliveanylonger；takethis，\"IdobelieveIshouldhavetakenit。IfIthoughtofanything，IthoughtofgoingbacktoSelina。Myillluckstillpursuedme；shehaddisappeared。I
lookedaboutinahelplessway，completelyatalosswhattodonext——sostupefied，Imayevensay，thatitwassometimebeforeInoticedalittlethree—cornerednoteonthetablebywhichI
wasstanding。Thenotewasaddressedtome：
\"EVER—DEARESTEUNEECE——Ihavetriedtomakemyselfusefultoyou，andhavefailed。ButhowcanIseethesadsightofyourwretchedness，andnotfeeltheimpulsetotryagain？IhavegonetothehoteltofindPhilip，andtobringhimbacktoyouapenitentandfaithfulman。Waitforme，andhopeforgreatthings。A。hundredthousandkissestomysweetEuneece。
\"S。J。\"
Waitforher，afterreadingthatnote！Howcouldsheexpectit？I
hadonlytofollowher，andtofindPhilip。Inanotherminute，I
wasonmywaytothehotel。
CHAPTERXXVIII。
HELENA’SDIARY。
LOOKINGatthelastentryinmyJournal，Iseemyselfanticipatingthattheeventofto—daywilldecidePhilip’sfutureandmine。Thishasprovedprophetic。Allfurtherconcealmentisnowatanend。
Forcedtoitbyfate，orhelpedtoitbychance，Eunicehasmadethediscoveryofherlover’sinfidelity。\"Inallhumanprobability\"（asmyfathersaysinhissermons），wetwosistersareenemiesforlife。
Iamnotsuspected，asEuniceis，ofmakingappointmentswithasweetheart。SoIamfreetogooutalone，andtogowhereI
please。PhilipandIwerepunctualtoourappointmentthisafternoon。
Ourplaceofmeetingwasinasecludedcornerofthetownpark。
Wefoundarusticseatinourretirement，setup（onewouldsuppose）asaconcessiontothetasteofvisitorswhoarefondofsolitude。Theviewinfrontofuswasboundedbytheparkwallandrailings，andourseatwasprettilyapproachedononesidebyaplantationofyoungtrees。Noentrancegatewasnear；nocarriageroadcrossedthegrass。Amoresafeandmoresolitarynookforconversation，betweentwopersonsdesiringtobealone，itwouldbehardtofindinmostpublicparks。Loversaresaidtoknowitwell，andtobeespeciallyfondofittowardevening。Wewerethereinbroaddaylight，andwehadtheseattoourselves。
Mymemoryofwhatpassedbetweenusis，insomedegree，disturbedbytheformidableinterruptionwhichbroughtourtalktoanend。
Butamongotherthings，IrememberthatIshowedhimnomercyattheoutset。AtonetimeIwasindignant；atanotherIwasscornful。Ideclared，inregardtomyobjectinmeetinghim，thatIhadchangedmymind，Andhaddecidedtoshortenadisagreeableinterviewbywaivingmyrighttoanexplanation，andbiddinghimfarewell。Eunice，asIpointedout，hadthefirstclaimtohim；
Eunicewasmuchmorelikelytosuithim，asacompanionforlife，thanIwas。\"Inshort，\"Isaid，inconclusion，\"myinclinationforoncetakessideswithmyduty，andleavesmysisterinundisturbedpossessionofyoungMr。Dunboyne。\"Withthissatiricalexplanation，Irosetosaygood—by。
Ihadmerelyintendedtoirritatehim。HeshowedasuperioritytoangerforwhichIwasnotprepared。
\"Besokindastositdownagain，\"hesaidquietly。
Hetookmyletterfromhispocket，andpointedtothatpartofitwhichalludedtohisconduct，whenwehadmetinmyfather’sstudy。
\"Youhaveofferedmetheopportunityofsayingawordinmyowndefense，\"hewenton。\"Iprizethatprivilegefartoohighlytoconsenttoyourwithdrawingit，merelybecauseyouhavechangedyourmind。Letmeatleasttellyouwhatmyerrandwas，whenI
calledonyourfather。Lovingyou，andyouonly，Ihadforcedmyselftomakealastefforttobetruetoyoursister。Rememberthat，Helena，andthensay——isitwonderfulifIwasbesidemyself，whenIfoundYouinthestudy？\"
\"Whenyoutellmeyouwerebesideyourself，\"Isaid，\"doyoumean，ashamedofyourself？\"
Thattouchedhim。\"Imeannothingofthekind，\"heburstout。
\"AfterthehellonearthinwhichIhavebeenlivingbetweenyoutwosisters，amanhasn’tvirtueenoughleftinhimtobeashamed。He’shalfmad——that’swhatheis。Lookatmyposition！I
hadmadeupmymindnevertoseeyouagain；Ihadmadeupmymind（ifImarriedEunice）toridmyselfofmyownmiserablelifewhenIcouldendureitnolonger。Inthatstateoffeeling，whenmysenseofdutydependedonmyspeakingwithMr。Gracedieualone，whosewasthefirstfaceIsawwhenIenteredtheroom？IfIhaddaredtolookatyou，ortospeaktoyou，whatdoyouthinkwouldhavebecomeofmyresolutiontosacrificemyself？\"
\"Whathasbecomeofitnow？\"Iasked。
\"TellmefirstifIamforgiven，\"hesaid——\"andyoushallknow。\"
\"Doyoudeservetobeforgiven？\"
Ithasbeendiscoveredbywiserheadsthanminethatweakpeoplearealwaysinextremes。Sofar，IhadseenPhilipinthevainandviolentextreme。Henowshiftedsuddenlytothesadandsubmissiveextreme。WhenIaskedhimifhedeservedtobeforgiven，hemadethehumblestofallreplies——hesighedandsaidnothing。
\"IfIdidmydutytomysister，\"Iremindedhim，\"Ishouldrefusetoforgiveyou，andsendyoubacktoEunice。\"
\"Yourfather’slanguageandyourfather’sconduct，\"heanswered，\"havereleasedmefromthatentanglement。IcannevergobacktoEunice。Ifyourefusetoforgiveme，neitheryounorshewillseeanythingmoreofPhilipDunboyne；Ipromiseyouthat。Areyousatisfiednow？\"
Afterholdingoutagainsthimresolutely，Ifeltmyselfbeginningtoyield。Whenamanhasoncetakentheirfancy，whathelplesslyweakcreatureswomenare！Isawthroughhisvacillatingweakness——andyetItrustedhim，withbotheyesopen。Mylooking—glassisoppositetomewhileIwrite。ItshowsmeacontemptibleHelena。Ilied，andsaidIwassatisfied——toplease_him。_
\"AmIforgiven？\"heasked。
Itisabsurdtoputitonrecord。Ofcourse，Iforgavehim。WhatagoodChristianIam，afterall！
Hetookmywillinghand。\"Mylovelydarling，\"hesaid，\"ourmarriagerestswithyou。Whetheryourfatherapprovesofitornot，saytheword；claimme，andIamyoursforlife。\"
Imusthavebeeninfatuatedbyhisvoiceandhislook；myheartmusthavebeenburningunderthepressureofhishandonmine。
Wasitmymodestyormyself—controlthatdesertedme？Ilethimtakemeinhisarms。Again，andagain，andagainIkissedhim。Weweredeaftowhatweoughttohaveheard；wewereblindtowhatweoughttohaveseen。Beforewewereconsciousofamovementamongthetrees，wewerediscovered。Mysisterflewatmelikeawildanimal。Herfurioushandsfastenedthemselvesonmythroat。
Philipstartedtohisfeet。Whenhetouchedher，intheactofforcingherbackfromme，Eunice’sragingstrengthbecameutterweaknessinaninstant。Herarmsfellhelplessathersides——herheaddrooped——shelookedathiminsilencewhichwasdreadful，atsuchamomentasthat。Heshrankfromtheunendurablereproachinthosetearlesseyes。Meanly，heturnedawayfromher。Meanly，I
followedhim。Lookingbackforaninstant，Isawherstepforward；perhapstostophim，perhapstospeaktohim。Theeffortwastoomuchforherstrength；shestaggeredbackagainstthetrunkofatree。Likestrangers，walkingseparateonefromtheother，welefthertohercompanion——thehideoustraitresswhowasmyenemyandherfriend。
CHAPTERXXIX。
HELENA’SDIARY。
ONreachingthestreetwhichledtoPhilip’shotel，wespoketoeachotherforthefirsttime。
\"Whatarewetodo？\"Isaid。
\"Leavethisplace，\"heanswered。
\"Together？\"Iasked。
\"Yes。\"
Toleaveus（forawhile），afterwhathadhappened，mightbethewisestthingwhichaman，inPhilip’scriticalposition，coulddo。ButifIwentwithhim——unprovidedasIwaswithanyfriendofmyownsex，whosecharacterandpresencemightsanctionthestepIhadtaken——Ishouldbelostbeyondredemption。Isanymanthateverlivedworththatsacrifice？Ithoughtofmyfather’shouseclosedtome，andofourfriendsashamedofme。Ihaveowned，insomeearlierpartofmyJournal，thatIamnotverypatientunderdomesticcares。ButthepossibilityofEunicebeingappointedhousekeeper，withmypower，inmyplace，wasmorethanIcouldcalmlycontemplate。\"No，\"IsaidtoPhilip。\"Yourabsence，atsuchatimeasthis，mayhelpusboth；but，comewhatmayofit，Imustremainathome。\"
Heyielded，withoutanattempttomakemealtermymind。Therewasasullensubmissioninhismannerwhichitwasnotpleasanttosee。Washedespairingalreadyofhimselfandofme？HadEunicearousedthewatchfuldemonsofshameandremorse？
\"Perhapsyouareright，\"hesaid，gloomily。\"Good—by。\"
Myanxietyputtheall—importantquestiontohimwithouthesitation。
\"Isitgood—byforever，Philip？\"
Hisreplyinstantlyrelievedme：\"Godforbid！\"
ButIwantedmore：\"Youstillloveme？\"Ipersisted。
\"Moredearlythanever！\"
\"Andyetyouleaveme！\"
Heturnedpale。\"IleaveyoubecauseIamafraid。\"
\"Afraidofwhat？\"
\"AfraidtofaceEuniceagain。\"
TheonlypossiblewayoutofourdifficultythatIcouldsee，nowoccurredtome。\"Supposemysistercanbeprevailedontogiveyouup？\"Isuggested。\"Wouldyoucomebacktousinthatcase？\"
\"Certainly！\"
\"Andyouwouldaskmyfathertoconsenttoourmarriage？\"
\"Onthedayofmyreturn，ifyoulike。\"
\"Supposeobstaclesgetinourway，\"Isaid——\"supposetimepassesandtriesyourpatience——willyoustillconsideryourselfengagedtome？\"
\"Engagedtoyou，\"heanswered，\"inspiteofobstaclesandinspiteoftime。\"
\"Andwhileyouareawayfromme，\"Iventuredtoadd，\"weshallwritetoeachother？\"
\"GowhereImay，\"hesaid，\"youshallalwayshearfromme。\"
Icouldasknomore，andhecouldconcedenomore。TheimpressionevidentlyleftonhimbyEunice’sterribleoutbreak，wasfarmoreseriousthanIhadanticipated。Iwasmyselfdepressedandillatease。Noexpressionsoftendernesswereexchangedbetweenus。
Therewassomethinghorribleinourbarrenfarewell。Wemerelyclaspedhands，atparting。Hewenthisway——andIwentmine。
Therearesomeoccasionswhenwomensetanexampleofcouragetomen。Iwasreadytoendurewhatevermighthappentome，whenI
gothome。Whatadesperatewretch！somepeoplemightsay，iftheycouldlookintothisdiary！
Mariaopenedthedoor；shetoldmethatmysisterhadalreadyreturned，accompaniedbyMissJillgall。Therehadbeenapparentlysomedifferenceofopinionbetweenthem，beforetheyenteredthehouse。Eunicehadattemptedtogoontosomeotherplace；andMissJillgallhadremonstrated。Mariahadheardhersay：\"No，youwoulddegradeyourself\"——and，withthat，shehadledEuniceindoors。Iunderstood，ofcourse，thatmysisterhadbeenpreventedfromfollowingPhiliptothehotel。Therewasprobablyaseriousquarrelinstoreforme。Iwentstraighttothebedroom，expectingtofindEunicethere，andpreparedtobravethestormthatmightburstonme。TherewasawomanatEunice’sendoftheroom，removingdressesfromthewardrobe。Icouldonlyseeherback，butitwasimpossibletomistake_that_
figure——MissJillgall。
ShelaidthedressesonEunice’sbed，withouttakingtheslightestnoticeofme。InsignificantsilenceIpointedtothedoor。Shewentonascoollywithheroccupationasiftheroomhadbeen，notminebuthers；Isteppeduptoher，andspokeplainly。
\"Youobligemetoremindyou，\"Isaid，\"thatyouarenotinyourownroom。\"There，Iwaitedalittle，andfoundthatIhadproducednoeffect。\"Witheverydisposition，\"Iresumed，\"tomakeallowanceforthedisagreeablepeculiaritiesofyourcharacter，I
cannotconsenttooverlookanactofintrusion，committedbyaSpy。Now，doyouunderstandme？\"
Shelookedroundher。\"Iseenothirdpersonhere，\"shesaid。
\"MayIaskifyoumeanme？\"
\"Imeanyou。\"
\"Willyoubesogood，MissHelena，astoexplainyourself？\"
Moderationoflanguagewouldhavebeenthrownawayonthiswoman。
\"Youfollowedmetothepark，\"Isaid。\"ItwasyouwhofoundmewithMr。Dunboyne，andbetrayedmetomysister。YouareaSpy，andyouknowit。Atthisverymomentyoudaren’tlookmeintheface。\"
Herinsolenceforceditswayoutofheratlast。Letmerecordit——andrepayit，whenthetimecomes。
\"Quitetrue，\"shereplied。\"IfIventuredtolookyouintheface，IamafraidImightforgetmyself。Ihavealwaysbeenbroughtuplikealady，andIwishtoshowiteveninthecompanyofsuchawretchasyouare。Thereisnotonewordoftruthinwhatyouhavesaidofme。IwenttothehoteltofindMr。
Dunboyne。Ah，youmaysneer！Ihaven’tgotyourgoodlooks——andavileuseyouhavemadeofthem。MyobjectwastorecallthatbaseyoungmantohisdutytomydearcharminginjuredEuneece。ThehotelservanttoldmethatMr。Dunboynehadgoneout。Oh，Ihadthemeansofpersuasioninmypocket！Themandirectedmetothepark，ashehadalreadydirectedMr。Dunboyne。ItwasonlywhenI
hadfoundtheplace，thatIheardsomeonebehindme。PoorinnocentEuneecehadfollowedmetothehotel，andhadgotherdirections，asIhadgotmine。GodknowshowhardItriedtopersuadehertogoback，andhowhorriblyfrightenedIwas——No！I
won’tdistressmyselfbysayingawordmore。Itwouldbetoohumiliatingtolet_you_seeanhonestwomanintears。Yoursisterhasaspiritofherown，thankGod！Shewon’tinhabitthesameroomwithyou；sheneverdesirestoseeyourfalsefaceagain。Itakethepoorsoul’sdressesandthingsaway——andasareligiouspersonIwait，confidentlywait，forthejudgmentthatwillfallonyou！\"
Shecaughtupthedressesalltogether；someofthemwereinherarms，someofthemfellonhershoulders，andoneofthemtoweredoverherhead。Smotheredingowns，shebouncedoutoftheroomlikeawalkingmilliner’sshop。Ihavetothankthewretchedoldcreatureforamomentofgenuineamusement，atatimeofdevouringanxiety。Themeanestinsect，theysay，hasitsuseinthisworld——andwhynotMissJillgall？
Inhalfanhourmore，anunexpectedeventraisedmyspirits。I
heardfromPhilip。
Onhisreturntothehotelhehadfoundatelegramwaitingforhim。Mr。DunboynetheelderhadarrivedinLondon；andPhiliphadarrangedtojoinhisfatherbythenexttrain。Hesentmetheaddress，andbeggedthatIwouldwriteandtellhimmynewsfromhomebythenextday’spost。
Welcome，thricewelcome，toMr。Dunboynetheelder！IfPhilipcanmanage，undermyadvice，toplacemefavorablyintheestimationofthisricholdman，hispresenceandauthoritymaydoforuswhatwecannotdoforourselves。Hereissurelyaninfluencetowhichmyfathermustsubmit，nomatterhowunreasonableorhowangryhemaybewhenhehearswhathashappened。Ibeginalreadytofeelhopefulofthefuture。
CHAPTERXXX。
EUNICE’SDIARY。
THROUGHtheday，andthroughthenight，Ifeelamiserythatneverleavesme——Imeanthemiseryoffear。
Iamtryingtofindoutsomeharmlessmeansofemployingmyself，whichwillkeepevilremembrancesfromme。IfIdon’tsucceed，myfeartellsmewhatwillhappen。Ishallbeindangerofgoingmad。
Idarenotconfideinanylivingcreature。Idon’tknowwhatotherpersonsmightthinkofme，orhowsoonImightfindmyselfperhapsinanasylum。Inthishelplesscondition，doubtandfrightseemtobedrivingmebacktomyJournal。IwonderwhetherIshallfindharmlessemploymenthere。
Ihaveheardofoldpeoplelosingtheirmemories。WhatwouldI
notgivetobeold！Iremember！oh，howIremember！OnedayafteranotherIseePhilip，IseeHelena，asIfirstsawthemwhenI
wasamongthetreesinthepark。Mysweetheart’sarms，thatonceheldme，holdmysisternow。Shekisseshim，kisseshim，kisseshim。
Istherenowayofmakingmyselfseesomethingelse？Iwanttogetbacktoremembrancesthatdon’tburninmyheadandtearatmyheart。Howisittobedone？
Ihavetriedbooks——no！Ihavetriedgoingouttolookattheshops——no！Ihavetriedsayingmyprayers——no！AndnowIammakingmylasteffort；tryingmypen。Myblacklettersfallfromit，andtaketheirplacesonthewhitepaper。Willmyblacklettershelpme？WherecanIfindsomethingconsolingtowritedown？Where？Where？
Selina——poorSelina，sofondofme，sosorryforme。WhenIwashappy，shewashappy，too。Itwasalwaysamusingtohearhertalk。Oh，mymemory，begoodtome！SavemefromPhilipandHelena。IwanttorememberthepleasantdayswhenmykindlittlefriendandIusedtogossipinthegarden。
No：thedaysinthegardenwon’tcomeback。WhatelsecanIthinkof？
TherecollectionsthatItrytoencouragekeepawayfromme。TheotherrecollectionsthatIdread，comecrowdingback。StillPhilip！StillHelena！
ButSelinamixesherselfupwiththem。LetmetryagainifIcanthinkofSelina。
Howdelightfullygoodtomeandpatientwithmeshewas，onourdismalwayhomefromthepark！Andhowaffectionatelysheexcusedherselffornothavingwarnedmeofit，whenshefirstsuspectedthatmyownsisterandmyworstenemywereoneandthesame！
\"IknowIwaswrong，mydear，toletmyloveandpityclosemylips。Butrememberhowhappyyouwereatthetime。ThethoughtofmakingyoumiserablewasmorethanIcouldendure——Iamsofondofyou！Yes；Ibegantosuspectthem，onthedaywhentheyfirstmetatthestation。And，Iamafraid，IthoughtitjustlikelythatyoumightbeascunningasIwas，andhavenoticedthem，too。\"
Oh，howignorantshemusthavebeenofmytruethoughtsandfeelings！Howstrangelypeopleseemtomisunderstandtheirdearestfriends！knowing，asIdid，thatIcouldneverloveanymanbutPhilip，couldIbewickedenoughtosupposethatPhilipwouldloveanywomanbutme？
IexplainedtoSelinahowhehadspokentome，whenwewerewalkingtogetheronthebankoftheriver。ShallIeverforgetthoseexquisitewords？\"IwishIwasabetterman，Eunice；IwishIwasgoodenoughtobeworthyofyou。\"IaskedSelinaifshethoughthewasdeceivingmewhenhesaidthat。Shecomfortedmebyowningthathemusthavebeeninearnest，atthetime——andthenshedistressedmebygivingthereasonwhy。
\"Mylove，youmusthaveinnocentlysaidsomethingtohim，whenyouandhewerealone，whichtouchedhisconscience（whenhe_had_aconscience），andmadehimashamedofhimself。Ah，youweretoofondofhimtoseehowhechangedfortheworse，whenyourvilesisterjoinedyou，andtookpossessionofhimagain。Itmademyheartachetoseeyousounsuspiciousofthem。Youaskedme，mypoordear，iftheyhadquarreled——youbelievedtheyweretiredofwalkingbytheriver，whenitwasyoutheyweretiredof——andyouwonderedwhyHelenatookhimtoseetheschool。Mychild！shewastheleadingspiritattheschool，andyouwerenobody。Hervanitysawthechanceofmakinghimcompareyouatadisadvantagewithyourcleversister。Ideclare，Euneece，IlosemyheadifIonlythinkofit！Allthestrongpointsinmycharacterseemtoslipawayfromme。Wouldyoubelieveit？——I
haveneglectedthatsweetinfantatthecottage；IhaveevenletMrs。Mollyhaveherbabybackagain。IfIhadthemakingofthelaws，PhilipDunboyneandHelenaGracedieushouldbehangedtogetheronthesamegallows。IseeIshockyou。Don’tletustalkofit！Oh，don’tletustalkofit！\"
AndhereamIwritingofit！WhatIhaddeterminednottodo，iswhatIhavedone。AmIlosingmysensesalready？TheverynamesthatIwasmostanxioustokeepoutofmymemorystaremeinthefaceinthelinesthatIhavejustwritten。Philipagain！Helenaagain！