第6章
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  thought,asIclosedthefifth,andopenedthesixthandlastdrawer。

  Thesixthdrawerwasatonceasurpriseandadisappointment。Itliterallycontainednothingbutthefragmentsofabrokenvase。

  Iwassitting,atthetime,oppositetothecabinet,inalowchair。Inthemomentaryirritationcausedbymydiscoveryoftheemptinessofthelastdrawer,Ihadjustliftedmyfoottopushitbackintoitsplace,whenthedoorcommunicatingwiththehallopened,andMajorFitz—Davidstoodbeforeme。

  Hiseyes,afterfirstmeetingmine,traveleddownwardtomyfoot。

  TheinstanthenoticedtheopendrawerIsawachangeinhisface。Itwasonlyforamoment;butinthatmomenthelookedatmewithasuddensuspicionandsurprise——lookedasifhehadcaughtmewithmyhandontheclew。

  \"Praydon’tletmedisturbyou,\"saidMajorFitz—David。\"Ihaveonlycomeheretoaskyouaquestion。\"

  \"Whatisit,Major?\"

  \"Haveyoumetwithanylettersofmineinthecourseofyourinvestigations?\"

  \"Ihavefoundnoneyet,\"Ianswered。\"IfIdodiscoveranyletters,Ishall,ofcourse,nottakethelibertyofexaminingthem。\"

  \"Iwantedtospeaktoyouaboutthat,\"herejoined。\"Itonlystruckmeamomentsince,upstairs,thatmylettersmightembarrassyou。InyourplaceIshouldfeelsomedistrustofanythingwhichIwasnotatlibertytoexamine。IthinkIcansetthismatterright,however,withverylittletroubletoeitherofus。ItisnoviolationofanypromisesorpledgesonmypartifI

  simplytellyouthatmyletterswillnotassistthediscoverywhichyouaretryingtomake。Youcansafelypassthemoverasobjectsthatarenotworthexaminingfromyourpointofview。Youunderstandme,Iamsure?\"

  \"Iammuchobligedtoyou,Major——Iquiteunderstand。\"

  \"Areyoufeelinganyfatigue?\"

  \"Nonewhatever,thankyou。\"

  \"Andyoustillhopetosucceed?Youarenotbeginningtobediscouragedalready?\"

  \"Iamnotintheleastdiscouraged。Withyourkindleave,Imeantopersevereforsometimeyet。\"

  Ihadnotclosedthedrawerofthecabinetwhileweweretalking,andIglancedcarelessly,asIansweredhim,atthefragmentsofthebrokenvase。Bythistimehehadgothisfeelingsunderperfectcommand。He,too,glancedatthefragmentsofthevasewithanappearanceofperfectindifference。Irememberedthelookofsuspicionandsurprisethathadescapedhimonenteringtheroom,andIthoughthisindifferencealittleoveracted。

  \"_That_doesn’tlookveryencouraging,\"hesaid,withasmile,pointingtotheshatteredpiecesofchinainthedrawer。

  \"Appearancesarenotalwaystobetrusted,\"Ireplied。\"ThewisestthingIcandoinmypresentsituationistosuspecteverything,evendowntoabrokenvase。\"

  IlookedhardathimasIspoke。Hechangedthesubject。

  \"Doesthemusicupstairsannoyyou?\"heasked。

  \"Notintheleast,Major。\"

  \"Itwillsoonbeovernow。Thesinging—masterisgoing,andtheItalianmasterhasjustarrived。Iamsparingnopainstomakemyyoungprimadonnaamostaccomplishedperson。Inlearningtosingshemustalsolearnthelanguagewhichisespeciallythelanguageofmusic。IshallperfectherintheaccentwhenItakehertoItaly。ItistheheightofmyambitiontohavehermistakenforanItalianwhenshesingsinpublic。IsthereanythingIcandobeforeIleaveyouagain?MayIsendyousomemorechampagne?

  Pleasesayyes!\"

  \"Athousandthanks,Major。Nomorechampagneforthepresent。\"

  Heturnedatthedoortokisshishandtomeatparting。AtthesamemomentIsawhiseyeswanderslylytowardthebook—case。Itwasonlyforaninstant。Ihadbarelydetectedhimbeforehewasoutoftheroom。

  Leftbymyselfagain,Ilookedatthebook—case——lookedatitattentivelyforthefirsttime。

  Itwasahandsomepieceoffurnitureinancientcarvedoak,anditstoodagainstthewallwhichranparallelwiththehallofthehouse。Exceptingthespaceoccupiedintheuppercorneroftheroombytheseconddoor,whichopenedintothehall,thebook—casefilledthewholelengthofthewalldowntothewindow。

  Thetopwasornamentedbyvases,candelabra,andstatuettes,inpairs,placedinarow。Lookingalongtherow,Inoticedavacantspaceonthetopofthebookcaseattheextremityofitwhichwasnearesttothewindow。Theoppositeextremity,nearesttothedoor,wasoccupiedbyahandsomepaintedvaseofaverypeculiarpattern。Wherewasthecorrespondingvase,whichoughttohavebeenplacedatthecorrespondingextremityofthebook—case?I

  returnedtotheopensixthdrawerofthecabinet,andlookedinagain。TherewasnomistakingthepatternonthefragmentswhenI

  examinedthemnow。Thevasewhichhadbeenbrokenwasthevasewhichhadstoodintheplacenowvacantonthetopofthebook—caseattheendnearesttothewindow。

  Makingthisdiscovery,Itookoutthefragments,downtothesmallestmorseloftheshatteredchina,andexaminedthemcarefullyoneafteranother。

  Iwastooignorantofthesubjecttobeabletoestimatethevalueofthevaseortheantiquityofthevase,oreventoknowwhetheritwereofBritishorofforeignmanufacture。Thegroundwasofadelicatecream—color。TheornamentstracedonthiswerewreathsofflowersandCupidssurroundingamedalliononeithersideofthevase。Uponthespacewithinoneofthemedallionswaspaintedwithexquisitedelicacyawoman’shead,representinganymphoragoddess,orperhapsaportraitofsomecelebratedperson——Iwasnotlearnedenoughtosaywhich。Theothermedallioninclosedtheheadofaman,alsotreatedintheclassicalstyle。RecliningshepherdsandshepherdessesinWatteaucostume,withtheirdogsandtheirsheep,formedtheadornmentsofthepedestal。Suchhadthevasebeeninthedaysofitsprosperity,whenitstoodonthetopofthebook—case。Bywhataccidenthaditbecomebroken?AndwhyhadMajorFitz—David’sfacechangedwhenhefoundthatIhaddiscoveredtheremainsofhisshatteredworkofartinthecabinetdrawer?

  Theremainsleftthoseseriousquestionsunanswered——theremainstoldmeabsolutelynothing。Andyet,ifmyownobservationoftheMajorweretobetrusted,thewaytotheclewofwhichIwasinsearchlay,directlyorindirectly,throughthebrokenvase。

  Itwasuselesstopursuethequestion,knowingnomorethanI

  knewnow。Ireturnedtothebook—case。

  ThusfarIhadassumed(withoutanysufficientreason)thattheclewofwhichIwasinsearchmustnecessarilyrevealitselfthroughawrittenpaperofsomesort。Itnowoccurredtome——afterthemovementwhichIhaddetectedonthepartoftheMajor——thattheclewmightquiteasprobablypresentitselfintheformofabook。

  Ilookedalongthelowerrowsofshelves,standingjustnearenoughtothemtoreadthetitlesonthebacksofthevolumes。I

  sawVoltaireinredmorocco,Shakespeareinblue,WalterScottingreen,the\"HistoryofEngland\"inbrown,the\"AnnualRegister\"

  inyellowcalf。ThereIpaused,weariedanddiscouragedalreadybythelongrowsofvolumes。How(Ithoughttomyself)amItoexamineallthesebooks?AndwhatamItolookfor,evenifIdoexaminethemall?

  MajorFitz—Davidhadspokenofaterriblemisfortunewhichhaddarkenedmyhusband’spastlife。Inwhatpossiblewaycouldanytraceofthatmisfortune,oranysuggestivehintofsomethingresemblingit,existinthearchivesofthe\"AnnualRegister\"orinthepagesofVoltaire?ThebareideaofsuchathingseemedabsurdThemereattempttomakeaseriousexaminationinthisdirectionwassurelyawantonwasteoftime。

  AndyettheMajorhadcertainlystolenalookatthebook—case。

  Andagain,thebrokenvasehadoncestoodonthebook—case。Didthesecircumstancesjustifymeinconnectingthevaseandthebook—caseastwinlandmarksonthewaythatledtodiscovery?Thequestionwasnotaneasyonetodecideonthespurofthemoment。

  Ilookedupatthehighershelves。

  Herethecollectionofbooksexhibitedagreatervariety。Thevolumesweresmaller,andwerenotsocarefullyarrangedasonthelowershelves。Somewereboundincloth,somewereonlyprotectedbypapercovers;oneortwohadfallen,andlayflatontheshelves。HereandthereIsawemptyspacesfromwhichbookshadbeenremovedandnotreplaced。Inshort,therewasnodiscouraginguniformityinthesehigherregionsofthebook—case。

  Theuntidytopshelveslookedsuggestiveofsomeluckyaccidentwhichmightunexpectedlyleadthewaytosuccess。Idecided,ifI

  didexaminethebook—caseatall,tobeginatthetop。

  Wherewasthelibraryladder?

  Ihadleftitagainstthepartitionwallwhichdividedthebackroomfromtheroominfront。Lookingthatway,Inecessarilylookedalsotowardthedoorthatraningrooves——theimperfectlycloseddoorthroughwhichIheardMajorFitz—DavidquestionhisservantonthesubjectofmypersonalappearancewhenIfirstenteredthehouse。Noonehadmovedthisdoorduringthetimeofmyvisit。Everybodyenteringorleavingtheroomhadusedtheotherdoor,whichledintothehall。

  AtthemomentwhenIlookedroundsomethingstirredinthefrontroom。Themovementletthelightinsuddenlythroughthesmallopenspaceleftbythepartiallycloseddoor。Hadsomebodybeenwatchingmethroughthechink?Isteppedsoftlytothedoor,andpusheditbackuntilitwaswideopen。TherewastheMajor,discoveredinthefrontroom!Isawitinhisface——hehadbeenwatchingmeatthebook—case!

  Hishatwasinhishand。Hewasevidentlygoingout;andhedexterouslytookadvantageofthatcircumstancetogiveaplausiblereasonforbeingsonearthedoor。

  \"IhopeIdidn’tfrightenyou,\"hesaid。

  \"Youstartledmealittle,Major。\"

  \"Iamsosorry,andsoashamed!Iwasjustgoingtoopenthedoor,andtellyouthatIamobligedtogoout。Ihavereceivedapressingmessagefromalady。Acharmingperson——Ishouldsolikeyoutoknowher。Sheisinsadtrouble,poorthing。Littlebills,youknow,andnastytradespeoplewhowanttheirmoney,andahusband——oh,dearme,ahusbandwhoisquiteunworthyofher!A

  mostinterestingcreature。Youremindmeofheralittle;youbothhavethesamecarriageofthehead。Ishallnotbemorethanhalfanhourgone。CanIdoanythingforyou?Youarelookingfatigued。Prayletmesendforsomemorechampagne。No?Promisetoringwhenyouwantit。That’sright!_Aurevoir_,mycharmingfriend——_aurevoir!_\"

  Ipulledthedoortoagainthemomenthisbackwasturned,andsatdownforawhiletocomposemyself。

  Hehadbeenwatchingmeatthebook—case!Themanwhowasinmyhusband’sconfidence,themanwhoknewwheretheclewwastobefound,hadbeenwatchingmeatthebook—case!Therewasnodoubtofitnow。MajorFitz—Davidhadshownmethehiding—placeofthesecretinspiteofhimself!

  Ilookedwithindifferenceattheotherpiecesoffurniture,rangedagainstthefourthwall,whichIhadnotexaminedyet。I

  surveyed,withouttheslightestfeelingofcuriosity,allthelittleeleganttriflesscatteredonthetablesandonthechimney—piece,eachoneofwhichmighthavebeenanobjectofsuspiciontomeunderothercircumstances。Eventhewater—colordrawingsfailedtointerestmeinmypresentframeofmind。I

  observedlanguidlythattheyweremostofthemportraitsofladies——fairidols,nodoubt,oftheMajor’sfacileadoration——andIcaredtonoticenomore。_My_businessinthatroom(Iwascertainofitnow!)beganandendedwiththebook—case。Ileftmyseattofetchthelibraryladder,determiningtobegintheworkofinvestigationonthetopshelves。

  OnmywaytotheladderIpassedoneofthetables,andsawthekeyslyingonitwhichMajorFitz—Davidhadleftatmydisposal。

  Thesmallerofthetwokeysinstantlyremindedmeofthecupboardsunderthebookcase。Ihadstrangelyoverlookedthese。A

  vaguedistrustofthelockeddoorsavaguedoubtofwhattheymightbehidingfromme,stoleintomymind。Ilefttheladderinitsplaceagainstthewall,andsetmyselftoexaminethecontentsofthecupboardsfirst。

  Thecupboardswerethreeinnumber。AsIopenedthefirstofthemthesingingupstairsceased。Foramomenttherewassomethingalmostoppressiveinthesuddenchangefromnoisetosilence。I

  supposemynervesmusthavebeenoverwrought。Thenextsoundinthehouse——nothingmoreremarkablethanthecreakingofaman’sbootsdescendingthestairs——mademeshudderallover。Themanwasnodoubtthesinging—master,goingawayaftergivinghislesson。Iheardthehousedoorcloseonhim,andstartedatthefamiliarsoundasifitweresomethingterriblewhichIhadneverheardbefore。Thentherewassilenceagain。IrousedmyselfaswellasIcould,andbeganmyexaminationofthefirstcupboard。

  Itwasdividedintotwocompartments。

  Thetopcompartmentcontainednothingbutboxesofcigars,rangedinrows,oneonanother。Theundercompartmentwasdevotedtoacollectionofshells。Theywereallhuddledtogetheranyhow,theMajorevidentlysettingafarhighervalueonhiscigarsthanonhisshells。Isearchedthislowercompartmentcarefullyforanyobjectinterestingtomewhichmightbehiddeninit。Nothingwastobefoundinanypartofitbesidestheshells。

  AsIopenedthesecondcupboarditstruckmethatthelightwasbeginningtofail。

  Ilookedatthewindow:itwashardlyeveningyet。Thedarkeningofthelightwasproducedbygatheringclouds。Rain—dropspatteredagainsttheglass;theautumnwindwhistledmournfullyinthecornersofthecourtyard。ImendedthefirebeforeI

  renewedmysearch。Mynerveswereinfaultagain,Isuppose。I

  shiveredwhenIwentbacktothebook—case。Myhandstrembled:I

  wonderedwhatwasthematterwithme。

  Thesecondcupboardrevealed(intheupperdivisionofit)somereallybeautifulcameos——notmounted,butlaidoncotton—woolinneatcardboardtrays。Inonecorner,halfhiddenunderoneofthetrays,therepeepedoutthewhiteleavesofalittlemanuscript。

  Ipouncedoniteagerly,onlytomeetwithanewdisappointment:

  themanuscriptprovedtobeadescriptivecatalogueofthecameos——nothingmore!

  Turningtothelowerdivisionofthecupboard,IfoundmorecostlycuriositiesintheshapeofivorycarvingsfromJapanandspecimensofraresilkfromChina。IbegantofeelwearyofdisinterringtheMajor’streasures。ThelongerIsearched,thefartherIseemedtoremovemyselffromtheoneobjectthatIhaditathearttoattain。Afterclosingthedoorofthesecondcupboard,Ialmostdoubtedwhetheritwouldbeworthmywhiletoproceedfartherandopenthethirdandlastdoor。

  Alittlereflectionconvincedmethatitwouldbeaswell,nowthatIhadbegunmyexaminationofthelowerregionsofthebook—case,togoonwithittotheend。Iopenedthelastcupboard。

  Ontheuppershelfthereappeared,insolitarygrandeur,oneobjectonly——agorgeouslyboundbook。

  Itwasofalargersizethanusual,judgingofitbycomparisonwiththedimensionsofmodernvolumes。Thebindingwasofbluevelvet,withclaspsofsilverworkedinbeautifularabesquepatterns,andwithalockofthesamepreciousmetaltoprotectthebookfrompryingeyes。WhenItookitup,Ifoundthatthelockwasnotclosed。

  HadIanyrighttotakeadvantageofthisaccident,andopenthebook?Ihaveputthequestionsincetosomeofmyfriendsofbothsexes。ThewomenallagreethatIwasperfectlyjustified,consideringtheseriousintereststhatIhadatstake,intakinganyadvantageofanybookintheMajor’shouse。Themendifferfromthisview,anddeclarethatIoughttohaveputbackthevolumeinbluevelvetunopened,carefullyguardingmyselffromanyafter—temptationtolookatitagainbylockingthecupboarddoor。Idaresaythemenareright。

  Beingawoman,however,Iopenedthebookwithoutamoment’shesitation。

  Theleaveswereofthefinestvellum,withtastefullydesignedilluminationsallroundthem。Andwhatdidthesehighlyornamentalpagescontain?Tomyunutterableamazementanddisgust,theycontainedlocksofhair,letneatlyintothecenterofeachpage,withinscriptionsbeneath,whichprovedthemtobelove—tokensfromvariousladieswhohadtouchedtheMajor’ssusceptibleheartatdifferentperiodsofhislife。TheinscriptionswerewritteninotherlanguagesbesidesEnglish,buttheyappearedtobeallequallydevotedtothesamecuriouspurpose,namely,toremindingtheMajorofthedatesatwhichhisvariousattachmentshadcometoanuntimelyend。Thusthefirstpageexhibitedalockofthelightestflaxenhair,withtheselinesbeneath:\"MyadoredMadeline。Eternalconstancy。Alas,July22,1839!\"Thenextpagewasadornedbyadarkershadeofhair,withaFrenchinscriptionunderit:\"Clemence。Idoledemon鈓e。

  Toujoursfidele。Helas,2meAvril,1840。\"Alockofredhairfollowed,withalamentationinLatinunderit,anotebeingattachedtothedateofdissolutionofpartnershipinthiscase,statingthattheladywasdescendedfromtheancientRomans,andwasthereforemournedappropriatelyinLatinbyherdevotedFitz—David。Moreshadesofhairandmoreinscriptionsfollowed,untilIwaswearyoflookingatthem。Iputdownthebook,disgustedwiththecreatureswhohadassistedinfillingit,andthentookitupagain,byanafterthought。ThusfarIhadthoroughlysearchedeverythingthathadpresenteditselftomynotice。Agreeableornotagreeable,itwasplainlyofseriousimportancetomyownintereststogoonasIhadbegun,andthoroughlytosearchthebook。

  IturnedoverthepagesuntilIcametothefirstblankleaf。

  Seeingthattheywereallblankleavesfromthisplacetotheend,Iliftedthevolumebytheback,and,asalastmeasureofprecaution,shookitsoastodislodgeanyloosepapersorcardswhichmighthaveescapedmynoticebetweentheleaves。

  Thistimemypatiencewasrewardedbyadiscoverywhichindescribablyirritatedanddistressedme。

  Asmallphotograph,mountedonacard,felloutofthebook。A

  firstglanceshowedmethatitrepresentedtheportraitsoftwopersons。

  OneofthepersonsIrecognizedasmyhusband。

  Theotherpersonwasawoman。

  Herfacewasentirelyunknowntome。Shewasnotyoung。Thepicturerepresentedherseatedonachair,withmyhusbandstandingbehind,andbendingoverher,holdingoneofherhandsinhis。Thewoman’sfacewashard—featuredandugly,withthemarkinglinesofstrongpassionsandresoluteself—willplainlywrittenonit。Still,uglyasshewas,IfeltapangofjealousyasInoticedthefamiliarlyaffectionateactionbywhichtheartist(withthepermissionofhissitters,ofcourse)hadconnectedthetwofiguresinagroup。Eustacehadbrieflytoldme,inthedaysofourcourtship,thathehadmorethanoncefanciedhimselftobeinlovebeforehemetwithme。Couldthisveryunattractivewomanhavebeenoneoftheearlyobjectsofhisadmiration?Hadshebeennearenoughanddearenoughtohimtobephotographedwithherhandinhis?IlookedandlookedattheportraitsuntilIcouldendurethemnolonger。Womenarestrangecreatures——mysterieseventothemselves。Ithrewthephotographfrommeintoacornerofthecupboard。Iwassavagelyangrywithmyhusband;Ihated——yes,hatedwithallmyheartandsoul!——thewomanwhohadgothishandinhers——theunknownwomanwiththeself—willed,hard—featuredface。

  Allthistimethelowershelfofthecupboardwasstillwaitingtobelookedover。

  Ikneltdowntoexamineit,eagertoclearmymind,ifIcould,ofthedegradingjealousythathadgotpossessionofme。

  Unfortunately,thelowershelfcontainednothingbutrelicsoftheMajor’smilitarylife,comprisinghisswordandpistols,hisepaulets,hissash,andotherminoraccouterments。Noneoftheseobjectsexcitedtheslightestinterestinme。Myeyeswanderedbacktotheuppershelf;and,likethefoolIwas(thereisnomilderwordthatcanfitlydescribemeatthatmoment),Itookthephotographoutagain,andenragedmyselfuselesslybyanotherlookatit。ThistimeIobserved,whatIhadnotnoticedbefore,thatthereweresomelinesofwriting(inawoman’shand)atthebackoftheportraits。Thelinesranthus:

  ’ToMajorFitz—David,withtwovases。Fromhisfriends,S。andE。

  M。\"

  Wasoneofthosetwovasesthevasethathadbeenbroken?AndwasthechangethatIhadnoticedinMajorFitz—David’sfaceproducedbysomepastassociationinconnectionwithit,whichinsomewayaffectedme?Itmightormightnotbeso。Iwaslittledisposedtoindulgeinspeculationonthistopicwhilethefarmoreseriousquestionoftheinitialsconfrontedmeonthebackofthephotograph。

  \"S。andE。M。?\"Thoselasttwolettersmightstandfortheinitialsofmyhusband’sname——histruename——EustaceMacallan。

  Inthiscasethefirstletter(\"S。\")inallprobabilityindicated_her_name。Whatrighthadshetoassociateherselfwithhiminthatmanner?Iconsideredalittle——mymemoryexerteditself——I

  suddenlycalledtomindthatEustacehadsisters。Hehadspokenofthemmorethanonceinthetimebeforeourmarriage。HadI

  beenmadenoughtotorturemyselfwithjealousyofmyhusband’ssister?Itmightwellbeso;\"S。\"mightstandforhissister’sChristianname。Ifeltheartilyashamedofmyselfasthisnewviewofthematterdawnedonme。WhatawrongIhaddonetothembothinmythoughts!Iturnedthephotograph,sadlyandpenitently,toexaminetheportraitsagainwithakinderandtruerappreciationofthem。

  Inaturallylookednowforafamilylikenessbetweenthetwofaces。Therewasnofamilylikeness;onthecontrary,theywereasunlikeeachotherinformandexpressionasfacescouldbe。

  _Was_shehissister,afterall?Ilookedatherhands,asrepresentedintheportrait。HerrighthandwasclaspedbyEustace;herlefthandlayonherlap。Onthethirdfinger,distinctlyvisible,therewasawedding—ring。Wereanyofmyhusband’ssistersmarried?Ihadmyselfaskedhimthequestionwhenhementionedthemtome,andIperfectlyrememberedthathehadrepliedinthenegative。

  Wasitpossiblethatmyfirstjealousinstincthadledmetotherightconclusionafterall?Ifithad,whatdidtheassociationofthethreeinitiallettersmean?Whatdidthewedding—ringmean?GoodHeavens!wasIlookingattheportraitofarivalinmyhusband’saffections——andwasthatrivalhisWife?

  Ithrewthephotographfrommewithacryofhorror。ForoneterriblemomentIfeltasifmyreasonwasgivingway。Idon’tknowwhatwouldhavehappened,orwhatIshouldhavedonenext,ifmyloveforEustacehadnottakentheuppermostplaceamongthecontendingemotionsthattorturedme。Thatfaithfullovesteadiedmybrain。Thatfaithfulloverousedtherevivinginfluencesofmybetterandnoblersense。WasthemanwhomIhadenshrinedinmyheartofheartscapableofsuchbasewickednessasthebareideaofhismarriagetoanotherwomanimplied?No!

  Minewasthebaseness,minethewickedness,inhavingevenforamomentthoughtitofhim!

  Ipickedupthedetestablephotographfromthefloor,andputitbackinthebook。Ihastilyclosedthecupboarddoor,fetchedthelibraryladder,andsetitagainstthebook—case。Myoneideanowwastheideaoftakingrefugeinemploymentofanysortfrommyownthoughts。Ifeltthehatefulsuspicionthathaddegradedmecomingbackagaininspiteofmyeffortstorepelit。Thebooks!

  thebooks!myonlyhopewastoabsorbmyself,bodyandsoul,inthebooks。

  Ihadonefootontheladder,whenIheardthedooroftheroomopen——thedoorwhichcommunicatedwiththehall。

  Ilookedaround,expectingtoseetheMajor。IsawinsteadtheMajor’sfutureprimadonnastandingjustinsidethedoor,withherroundeyessteadilyfixedonme。

  \"Icanstandagooddeal,\"thegirlbegan,coolly,\"butIcan’tstand_this_anylonger?\"

  \"Whatisitthatyoucan’tstandanylonger?\"Iasked。

  \"Ifyouhavebeenhereaminute,youhavebeenheretwogoodhours,\"shewenton。\"AllbyyourselfintheMajor’sstudy。Iamofajealousdisposition——Iam。AndIwanttoknowwhatitmeans。\"Sheadvancedafewstepsnearertome,withaheighteningcolorandathreateninglook。\"Ishegoingtobring_you_outonthestage?\"sheasked,sharply。

  \"Certainlynot。\"

  \"Heain’tinlovewithyou,ishe?\"

  UnderothercircumstancesImighthavetoldhertoleavetheroom。Inmypositionatthatcriticalmomentthemerepresenceofahumancreaturewasapositiverelieftome。Eventhisgirl,withhercoarsequestionsandheruncultivatedmanners,wasawelcomeintruderonmysolitude:sheofferedmearefugefrommyself。

  \"Yourquestionisnotverycivillyput,\"Isaid。\"However,I

  excuseyou。YouareprobablynotawarethatIamamarriedwoman。\"

  \"Whathasthatgottodowithit?\"sheretorted。\"Marriedorsingle,it’sallonetotheMajor。Thatbrazen—facedhussywhocallsherselfLadyClarindaismarried,andshesendshimnosegaysthreetimesaweek!NotthatIcare,mindyou,abouttheoldfool。ButI’velostmysituationattherailway,andI’vegotmyownintereststolookafter,andIdon’tknowwhatmayhappenifIletotherwomencomebetweenhimandme。That’swheretheshoepinches,don’tyousee?I’mnoteasyinmymindwhenIseehimleavingyoumistressheretodojustwhatyoulike。Nooffense!Ispeakout——Ido。Iwanttoknowwhatyouareaboutallbyyourselfinthisroom?HowdidyoupickupwiththeMajor?I

  neverheardhimspeakofyoubeforeto—day。\"

  Underallthesurfaceselfishnessandcoarsenessofthisstrangegirltherewasacertainfranknessandfreedomwhichpleadedinherfavor——tomymind,atanyrate。Iansweredfranklyandfreelyonmyside。

  \"MajorFitz—Davidisanoldfriendofmyhusband’s,\"Isaid,\"andheiskindtomeformyhusband’ssake。Hehasgivenmepermissiontolookinthisroom——\"

  Istopped,atalosshowtodescribemyemploymentintermswhichshouldtellhernothing,andwhichshouldatthesametimesuccessfullysetherdistrustofmeatrest。

  \"Tolookaboutinthisroom——forwhat?\"sheasked。Hereyefellonthelibraryladder,besidewhichIwasstillstanding。\"Forabook?\"sheresumed。

  \"Yes,\"Isaid,takingthehint。\"Forabook。\"

  \"Haven’tyoufoundityet?\"

  \"No。\"

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