\"Let’sgodowntothelavatoryandhavealookatthedamage。Oneofuscanholdtheglassandt’otherscansquint。\"
Theyproceededontheselinesforsometenminutes。Thewaleswereveryredandverylevel。Therewasnotapennytochoosebetweenanyofthemforthoroughness，efficiency，andacertainclarityofoutlinethatstampstheworkoftheartist。
\"Whatareyoudoingdownthere？\"Mr。Proutwasattheheadofthelavatorystairs，attractedbythenoiseofsplashing。
\"We’veonlybeencanedbytheHead，sir，andwe’rewashingofftheblood。TheHeadsaidweweretotellyou。Wewerecomingtoreportourselvesinaminute，sir。
（_Sotto_voce_。）That’sascoreforHeffy！\"
\"Well，hedeservestoscoresomething，poordevil，\"saidMcTurk，puttingonhisshirt。\"We’vesweatedastoneandahalfoffhimsincewebegan。\"
\"Butlookhere，whyaren’twewrathywiththeHead？Hesaiditwasaflagrantinjustice。Soitis！\"saidBeetle。
\"Dearman，\"saidMcTurk，andvouchsafednofurtheranswer。
ItwasStalkywholaughedtillhehadtoholdonbytheedgeofabasin。
\"You_are_afunnyass！What’sthatfor？\"saidBeetle。
\"I’m——I’mthinkingoftheflagrantinjusticeofit！\"
THEMORALREFORMERS。
Therewasnodisguisingthedefeat。ThevictorywastoProut，buttheygrudgeditnot。IfhehadbrokentherulesofthegamebycallingintheHead，theyhadhadagoodrunfortheirmoney。
TheReverendJohnsoughttheearliestopportunityoftalkingthingsover。MembersofabachelorCommon—room，ofaschoolwheremasters’studiesaredesignedlydottedamongstudiesandform—rooms，can，iftheychoose，seeagreatdealoftheircharges。NumberFivehadspentsomecautiousyearsintestingtheReverendJohn。Hewasemphaticallyagentleman。Heknockedatastudydoorbeforeentering；hecomportedhimselfasavisitorandnotastrayedlictor；heneverprosed，andhenevercarriedoverintoofficiallifetheconfidencesofidlehours。Proutwaseveranunmitigatednuisance；Kingcamesolelyasanavengerofblood；evenlittleHartopp，talkingnaturalhistory，seldomforgothisoffice；buttheReverendJohnwasaguestdesiredandbelovedbyNumberFive。
Beholdhim，then，intheironlyarm—chair，abentbriarbetweenhisteeth，chindowninthreefoldsonhisclericalcollar，andblowinglikeanamiablewhale，whileNumberFivediscoursedoflifeasitappearedtothem，andspeciallyofthatlastinterviewwiththeHead——inthematterofusury。
\"Onelickingonceaweekwoulddoyouanimmenseamountofgood，\"hesaid，twinklingandshakingallover；\"and，asyousay，youwereentirelyintheright。\"
\"Ra—ather，Padre！Wecouldhaveproveditifhe’dletustalk，\"saidStalky；\"buthedidn’t。TheHead’sadownybird。\"
\"Heunderstandsyouperfectly。Ho！ho！Well，youworkedhardenoughforit。\"
\"Buthe’sawfullyfair。Hedoesn’tlickachapinthemorningan’preachathimintheafternoon，\"saidBeetle。
\"Hecan’t；heain’tinOrders，thankgoodness，\"saidMcTurk。NumberFiveheldtheverystrongestviewsonclericalhead—masters，andwereeverreadytomeettheirpastorinargument。
\"AlmostallotherschoolshaveclericalHeads，\"saidtheReverendJohngently。
\"Itisn’tfaironthechaps，\"Stalkyreplied。\"Makes’emsulky。Ofcourseit’sdifferentwithyou，sir。Youbelongtotheschool——sameaswedo。Imeanordinaryclergymen。\"
\"Well，Iamamostordinaryclergyman；andMr。Hartopp’sinOrders，too。\"
\"Ye——es，buthetook’emafterhecametotheColl。Wesawhimgoupforhisexam。
That’sallright，\"saidBeetle。\"ButjustthinkiftheHeadwentandgotordained！\"
\"Whatwouldhappen，Beetle？\"
\"Oh，theColl。’udgotopiecesinayear，sir。There’snodoubto’that。\"
\"Howd’youknow？\"TheReverendJohnwassmiling。
\"We’vebeenherenearlysixyearsnow。TherearepreciousfewthingsabouttheColl。
wedon’tknow，\"Stalkyreplied。\"Why，evenyoucamethetermafterIdid，sir。I
rememberyouraskingournamesinformyourfirstlesson。Mr。King，Mr。Prout，andtheHead，ofcourse，aretheonlymastersseniortous——inthatway。\"
\"Yes，we’vechangedagooddeal——inCommon—room。\"
\"Huh！\"saidBeetlewithagrunt。\"Theycamehere，an’theywentawaytogetmarried。
Jollygoodriddance，too！\"
\"Doesn’tourBeetleholdwithmatrimony？\"
\"No，Padre；don’tmakefunofme。I’vemetchapsintheholidayswho’vegotmarriedhouse—masters。It’sperfectlyawful！Theyhavebabiesandteethingandmeaslesandallthatsortofthingrightbung_in_theschool；andthemasters’wivesgivetea—parties——tea—parties，Padre！——andaskthechapstobreakfast。\"
\"Thatdon’tmattersomuch，\"saidStalky。\"Butthehouse—masterslettheirhousesalone，andtheyleaveeverythingtotheprefects。Why，inoneschool，achaptoldme，therewerebigbaizedoorsandapassageaboutamilelongbetweenthehouseandthemaster’shouse。Theycoulddojustwhattheypleased。\"
\"Satanrebukingsinwithavengeance。\"
\"Oh，larksarerightenough；butyouknowwhatwemean，Padre。Afterabititgetsworsean’worse。Thenthere’sabigbust—upandarowthatgetsintothepapers，andalotofchapsareexpelled，youknow。\"
\"Alwaysthewrongun’s；don’tforgetthat。Haveacupofcocoa，Padre？\"saidMcTurkwiththekettle。
\"No，thanks；I’msmoking。Alwaysthewrong’uns？Pro—ceed，myStalky。\"
\"Andthen\"——Stalkywarmedtothework——\"everybodysays，’Who’dha’thoughtit？
Shock—in’boys！Wickedlittlekids！’Itallcomesofhavin’marriedhouse—masters，_I_think。\"
\"ADanielcometojudgment。\"
\"Butitdoes，\"McTurkinterrupted。\"I’vemetchapsintheholidays，an’they’vetoldmethesamething。Itlooksawfullyprettyforone’speopletosee——aniceseparatehousewithaniceladyincharge，an’allthat。Butitisn’t。Ittakesthehouse—mastersofftheirwork，anditgivestheprefectsaheaptoomuchpower，an’——an’——itrotsupeverything。Yousee，itisn’tasifwewerejustanordinaryschool。Wetakecrammers’rejectionsaswellasgoodlittleboyslikeStalky。We’vegottodothattomakeourname，ofcourse，andweget’emintoSandhurstsomehoworother，don’twe？\"
\"True，OTurk。Likeabookthoutalkest，Turkey。\"
\"Andsowewantratherdifferentmasters，don’tyouthinkso，tootherplaces？Wearen’tliketherestoftheschools。\"
\"Itleadstoallsortsofbullyin’，too，achaptoldme，\"saidBeetle。
\"Well，you_do_needmostofasingleman’stime，Imustsay。\"TheReverendJohnconsideredhishostscritically。\"Butdoyouneverfeelthattheworld——theCommon—room——istoomuchwithyousometimes？\"
\"Notexactly——insummer，anyhow。\"Stalky’seyerovedcontentedlytothewindow。\"Ourboundsareprettybig，too，andtheyleaveustoourselvesagooddeal。\"
\"Forexample，hereamIsittinginyourstudy，verymuchinyourway，eh？\"
\"Indeedyouaren’t，Padre。Sitdown。Don’tgo，sir。Youknowwe’regladwheneveryoucome。\"
Therewasnodoubtingthesincerityofthevoices。TheReverendJohnflushedalittlewithpleasureandrefilledhisbriar。
\"AndwegenerallyknowwheretheCommon—roomare，\"saidBeetletriumphantly。\"Didn’tyoucomethroughourlowerdormitorieslastnightafterten，sir？\"
\"Iwenttosmokeapipewithyourhouse—master。No，Ididn’tgivehimanyimpressions。Itookashortcutthroughyourdormitories。\"
\"Isniffedawhiffof’baccy，thismornin’。YoursisstrongerthanMr。Prout’s。_I_
knew，\"saidBeetle，wagginghishead。
\"Goodheavens！\"saidtheReverendJohnabsently。ItwassomeyearsbeforeBeetleperceivedthatthiswasratheratributetoinnocencethanobservation。Thelong，light，blindlessdormitories，devoidofinnerdoors，werecrossedatallhoursofthenightbymastersvisitingoneanother；forbachelorssituplaterthanmarriedfolk。Beetlehadneverdreamedthattheremightbeapurposeinthissteadypolicing。
\"Talkingaboutbullying，\"theReverendJohnresumed，\"youallcaughtitprettyhotwhenyouwerefags，didn’tyou？\"
\"Well，wemusthavebeenratherawfullittlebeasts，\"saidBeetle，lookingserenelyoverthegulfbetweenelevenandsixteen。\"MyHat，whatbulliestheywerethen——
Fairburn，’Gobby’Maunsell，andallthatgang！\"
\"’Memberwhen’Gobby’calledustheThreeBlindMice，andwehadtogetuponthelockersandsingwhilehebuzzedinkpotsatus？\"saidStalky。\"They_were_bulliesifyoulike！\"
\"Butthereisn’tanyofitnow，\"saidMcTurksoothingly。
\"That’swhereyoumakeamistake。We’reallinclinedtosaythateverythingisallrightaslongwearen’tourselveshurt。Isometimeswonderifitisextinct——
bullying。\"
\"Fagsbullyeachotherhorrid；buttheupperformsaresupposedtobeswottin’forexams。They’vegotsomethingelsetothinkabout，\"saidBeetle。
\"Why？Whatdoyouthink？\"Stalkywaswatchingthechaplain’sface。
\"Ihavemydoubts。\"Then，explosively，\"Onmyword，forthreemoderatelyintelligentboysyouaren’tveryobservant。Isupposeyouweretoobusymakingthingswarmforyourhouse—mastertoseewhatlayunderyournoseswhenyouwereintheform—roomslastweek？\"
\"What，sir？I——Iswearwedidn’tseeanything，\"saidBeetle。
\"ThenI’dadviseyoutolook。Whenalittlechapiswhimperinginacornerandwearshisclotheslikerags，andneverdoesanywork，andisnotoriouslythedirtiestlittle’corridor—caution’intheColl。，something’swrongsomewhere。\"
\"That’sClewer，\"saidMcTurkunderhisbreath。
\"Yes，Clewer。HecomestomeforhisFrench。It’shisfirstterm，andhe’salmostascompleteawreckasyouwere，Beetle。He’snotnaturallyclever，buthehasbeenhammeredtillhe’snearlyanidiot。\"
\"Oh，no。Theyshamsillytogetoffmoretickings，’’saidBeetle。\"_I_knowthat。\"
\"I’veneveractuallyseenhimknockedabout，\"saidtheReverendJohn。
\"Thegenuinearticledon’tdothatinpublic，\"saidBeetle。\"Fairburnnevertouchedmewhenanyonewaslookingon。\"
\"Youneedn’tswaggeraboutit，Beetle，\"saidMcTurk。\"Weallcaughtitinourtime。\"
\"ButIgotitworsethananyone，\"saidBeetle。\"Ifyouwantanauthorityonbullyin’，Padre，cometome。Corkscrews——brush—drill——keys——head—knucklin’——
arm—twistin’——rockin’——AgAgs——andalltherestofit。\"
\"Yes。Idowantyouasanauthority，orratherIwantyourauthoritytostopit——allofyou。\"
\"WhataboutAbanaandPharpar，Padre——HarrisonandCraye？TheyareMr。Prout’spets，\"saidMcTurkalittlebitterly。\"Wearen’tevensub—prefects。\"
\"I’veconsideredthat，butontheotherhand，sincemostbullyingismerethoughtlessness——\"
\"Notonelittlebitofit，Padre，\"saidMcTurk。\"Bullieslikebullyin’。Theymeanit。Theythinkitupinlessonandpractiseitinthequarters。\"
\"Nevermind。Ifthethinggoesuptotheprefectsitmaymakeanotherhouse—row。
You’vehadonealready。Don’tlaugh。Listentome。Iaskyou——myownTenthLegion——totakethethingupquietly。IwantlittleClewermadetolookfairlycleananddecent——\"
\"Blowedif_I_washhim！\"whisperedStalky。
\"Decentandself—respecting。Asfortheotherboy，whoeverheis，youcanuseyourinfluence\"——apurelysecularlightflickeredinthechaplain’seye——\"inanywayyoupleaseto——todissuadehim。That’sall。I’llleaveittoyou。Good—night，_mes_enfants_。\"
\"Well，whatarewegoin’todo？\"NumberFivestaredateachother。
\"YoungClewerwouldgivehiseyesforaplacetobequietin。_I_knowthat，\"saidBeetle。\"Ifwemadehimastudy—fag，eh？\"
\"No！\"saidMcTurkfirmly。\"He’sadirtylittlebrute，andhe’dmessupeverything。
Besides，weain’tgoin’tohaveanybeastlyErickin’。D’youwanttowalkaboutwithyourarmroundhisneck？\"
\"He’dcleanoutthejam—pots，anyhow；an’theburnt—porridgesaucepan——it’sfilthynow。\"
\"Notgoodenough，\"saidStalky，bringingupbothheelswithacrashonthetable。
\"Ifwefindthemerryjesterwho’sbeenbullyin’himan’makehimhappy，that’llbeallright。Whydidn’twespothimwhenwewereintheform—rooms，though？\"
\"MaybealotoffagshavemadeadeadsetatClewer。Theydothatsometimes。\"
\"Thenwe’llhavetokickthewholeofthelowerschoolinourhouse——onspec。Comeon，\"saidMcTurk。
\"Keepyourhairon！Wemustn’tmakeafussaboutthebiznai。Whoeveritishe’skeptquietorwe’dhaveseenhim，\"saidStalky。\"We’llwalkroundandsniffabouttillwe’resure。\"
Theydrewthehouseform—rooms，accountingforeveryjuniorandsenioragainstwhomtheyhadsuspicions；investigated，atBeetle’ssuggestion，thelavatoriesandbox—rooms，butwithoutresult。EverybodyseemedtobepresentsaveClewer。
\"Rum！\"saidStalky，pausingoutsideastudydoor。\"Golly！\"
Athinpipingmixedwithtearscamemuffledthroughthepanels。
\"’AsbeautifulKittyonemorningwastripping——’\"
\"Louder，youyoungdevil，orI’llbuzzabookatyou！\"
\"’With，apitcherofmilk——’Oh，Campbell，_please_don’t！’Tothefairof——\"
Abookcrashedonsomethingsoft，andsquealsarose。
\"Well，Ineverthoughtitwasastudy—chap，anyhow。Thataccountsforournotspottinghim，\"saidBeetle。\"SeftonandCampbellareratherheftychapstotackle。
Besides，onecan’tgointotheirstudylikeaform—room。\"
\"Whatswine！\"McTurklistened。\"Where’sthefunofit？IsupposeClewer’sfaggin’
forthem。\"
\"Theyaren’tprefects。That’sonegoodjob，\"saidStalky，withhiswar—grin。\"SeftonandCampbell！Um！CampbellandSefton！Ah！Oneof’em’sacrammer’spup。\"
Thetwowereprecocioushairyyouthsbetweenseventeenandeighteen，senttotheschoolindespairbyparentswhohopedthatsixmonths’steadycrammight，perhaps，jockeythemintoSandhurst。NominallytheywereinMr。Prout’shouse；actuallytheywereundertheHead’seye；andsincehewasverycarefulnevertopromotestrangenewboystoprefectships，theyconsideredtheyhadagrievanceagainsttheschool。
SeftonhadspentthreemonthswithaLondoncrammer，andthetaleofhisadventurestherelostnothinginthetelling。Campbell，whohadafinetasteinclothesandafluentvocabulary，followedhisleadinlookingdownloftilyontherestoftheworld。Thiswasonlytheirsecondterm，andtheschool，usedtowhatitprofanelycalled\"crammers’pups，\"hadtreatedthemwithrathergallingreserve。Buttheirwhiskers——Seftonownedarealrazor——andtheirmustacheswerebeyondquestionimpressive。
\"Shallwegoinan’dissuade’em？\"McTurkasked。\"I’veneverhadmuchtodowith’em，butI’llbetmyhatCampbell’safunk。\"
\"No——o！That’s_oratio_directa_，\"saidStalky，shakinghishead。\"Ilike_oratio_obliqua_。’Sides，where’dourmoralinfluencebethen？Thinko’that！\"
\"Rot！Whatareyougoin’todo？\"BeetleturnedintoLowerNumberNineform—room，nextdoortothestudy。
\"Me？\"ThelightsofwarflickeredoverStalky’sface。\"Oh，Iwanttojapewith’em。
Shutupabit！\"
Hedrovehishandsintohispocketsandstaredoutofwindowatthesea，whistlingbetweenhisteeth。Thenafoottappedthefloor；oneshoulderlifted；hewheeled，andbegantheshortquickdouble—shuffle——thewar—danceofStalkyinmeditation。
Thricehecrossedtheemptyform—room，withcompressedlipsandexpandednostrils，swayingtothequick—step。ThenhehaltedbeforethedumbBeetleandsoftlyknuckledhisbead，Beetlebowingtothestrokes。McTurknursedonekneeandrockedtoandfro。TheycouldhearClewerhowlingasthoughhisheartwouldbreak。
\"Beetleisthesacrifice，\"Stalkysaidatlast，\"I’msorryforyou，Beetle。’MemberGalton’s’ArtofTravel’[oneoftheformshadbeenstudyingthatpleasantwork]an’
thekidwhosebleatin’excitedthetiger？\"
\"Oh，curse！\"saidBeetleuneasily。Itwasnothisfirstseasonasasacrifice。
\"Can’tyougetonwithoutme？\"
\"’Fraidnot，Beetle，dear。You’vegottobebulliedbyTurkeyan’me。Themoreyouhowl，o’course，thebetterit’llbe。Turkey，goan’covetastumpandabox—ropefromsomewhere。We’lltiehimupforakill——_a’_la_Galton。’Memberwhen’Molly’
Fairburnmadeuscock—fightwithourshoesoff，an’tiedupourknees？\"
\"Butthathurtlikesin。\"
\"Courseitdid。Whatacleverchapyouare，Beetle！Turkey’llknockyouallovertheplace。’Memberwe’vehadabigrowallround，an’I’vetrappedyouintodoin’this。
Lendusyourwipe。\"Beetlewastrussedforcock—fighting；but，inadditiontothetransversestumpbetweenelbowandknee，Hiskneeswereboundwithabox—rope。Inthisposture，atapushfromStalkyherolledoversideways，coveringhimselfwithdust。
\"Rufflehishair，Turkey。Nowyougetdown，too。’Thebleatin’ofthekidexcitesthetiger。’Youtwoareinsuchasweatin’waxwithmethatyouonlycurse。’Memberthat。I’lltickleyouupwithastump。You’llhavetoblub，Beetle。\"
\"RightO！I’llworkuptoitinhalfashake，\"saidBeetle。
\"Nowbegin——andrememberthebleatin’o’thekid。\"
\"Shutup，youbrutes！Letmeup！You’venearlycutmykneesoff。Oh，you_are_
beastlycads！_Do_shutup。’Tisn’tajoke！\"Beetle’sprotestwas，intone，aworkofart。
\"Giveittohim，Turkey！Kickhim！Rollhimover！Killhim！Don’tfunk，Beetle，youbrute。Kickhimagain，Turkey。\"
\"He’snotblubbin’really。Rollup，Beetle，orI’llkickyouintothefender，\"
roaredMcTurk。Theymadeahideousnoiseamongthem，andthebaitalluredtheirquarry。
\"Hullo！What’sthegiddyjest？\"SeftonandCampbellenteredtofindBeetleonhisside，hisheadagainstthefender，weepingcopiously，whileMcTurkproddedhiminthebackwithhistoes。
\"It’sonlyBeetle，\"Stalkyexplained。\"He’sshammin’hurt。Ican’tgetTurkeytogoforhimproperly。\"Seftonpromptlykickedbothboys，andhisfacelighted。\"Allright，I’llattendto’em。Getupan’cock—fight，youtwo。Givemethestump。I’lltickle’em。Here’sagiddyjest！Comeon，Campbell。Let’scook’em。\"
ThenMcTurkturnedonStalkyandcalledhimveryevilnames。
\"Yousaidyouweregoin’tocock—fighttoo，Stalky。Comeon！\"
\"Moreassyouforbelievin’me，then！\"shriekedStalky。
\"Haveyouchapshadarow？\"saidCampbell。\"Row？\"saidStalky。\"Huh！I’monlyeducatin’them。D’youknowanythin’aboutcock—fighting，Seffy？\"
\"DoIknow？Why，atMaclagan’s，whereIwascrammin’intown，weusedtocock—fightinhisdrawing—room，andlittleMaclagandaren’tsayanything。Butwewerejustthesameasmenthere，ofcourse。DoIknow？_I_’llshowyou。\"
\"Can’tIgetup？\"moanedBeetle，asStalkysatonhisshoulder。
\"Don’tjaw，youfatpiffler。You’regoingtofightSeffy。\"
\"He’llslayme！\"
\"Oh，lug’emintoourstudy，\"saidCampbell。\"It’snicean’quietinthere。I’llcock—fightTurkey。ThisisanimprovementonyoungClewer。\"
\"RightO！Imoveit’sshoes—offfortheman’shoes—onforus，\"saidSeftonjoyously，andthetwowereflungdownonthestudyfloor。Stalkyrolledthembehindanarm—chair。\"NowI’lltieyoutwoupan’directthebull—fight。Golly，whatwristsyouhave，Seffy。They’retoothickforawipe；gotabox—rope？\"saidhe。
\"Lotsinthecorner，\"Seftonreplied。\"Hurryup！Stopblubbin’，youbrute，Beetle。
We’regoin’tohaveagiddycampaign。Losershavetosingforthewinners——singodesinhonoroftheconqueror。Youcallyourselfabeastlypoet，don’tyou，Beetle？I’llpoetyou。\"
HewriggledintopositionbyCampbell’sside。Swiftlyandscientificallythestumpswerethrustthroughthenaturalcrooks，andthewriststiedwithwell—stretchedbox—ropestoanaccompanimentofinsultsfromMcTurk，bound，betrayed，andvolublebehindthechair。StalkysetawayCampbellandSefton，andstrodeovertohisallies，lockingthedoorontheway。
\"Andthat’sallright，\"saidheinachangedvoice。
\"Whatthedevil——？\"Seftonbegan。Beetle’sfalsetearshadceased；McTurk，smiling，wasonhisfeet。Togethertheyboundthekneesandanklesoftheenemyevenmorestraitly。
Stalkytookthearm—chairandcontemplatedthescenewithhisblandestsmile。Amantrussedforcook—fightingis，perhaps，themosthelplessthingintheworld。
\"’Thebleatin’ofthekidexcitesthetiger。’Oh，youfrabjousasses！\"Helaybackandlaughedtillhecouldnomore。Thevictimstookinthesituationbutslowly。
\"We’llgiveyouthefinestlickin’youeverhadinyouryoungliveswhenwegetup！\"
thunderedSeftonfromthefloor。\"You’lllaughtheothersideofyourmouthbeforeyou’vedone。Whatthedeuced’youmeanbythis？\"
\"You’llseeintwoshakes，\"saidMcTurk。\"Don’tswearlikethat。Whatwewanttoknowis，whyyoutwohulkin’swinehavebeenbullyin’Clewer？\"
\"It’snoneofyourbusiness。\"
\"WhatdidyoubullyClewerfor？\"Thequestionwasrepeatedwithmaddeningiterationbyeachinturn。Theyknewtheirwork。
\"Becausewejollywellchose！\"wastheansweratlast。\"Let’sgetup。\"Eventhentheycouldnotrealizethegame。
\"Well，nowwe’regoin’tobullyyoubecausewejollywellchoose。We’regoin’tobejustasfairtoyouasyouweretoClewer。Hecouldn’tdoanythingagainstyou。Youcan’tdoanythingtous。Odd，ain’tit？\"
\"Can’twe？Youwaitan’see。\"
\"Ah，\"saidBeetlereflectively，\"thatshowsyou’veneverbeenproperlyjestedwith。
Apubliclickin’ain’tinitwithagentlejape。Betabobyou’llweepan’promiseanything。\"
\"Lookhere，youngBeetle，we’llhalfkillyouwhenwegetup。I’llpromiseyouthat，atanyrate。\"
\"You’regoingtobehalfkilledfirst，though。DidyougiveClewerHead—knuckles？\"
\"DidyougiveClewerHead—knuckles？\"Mc—Turkechoed。Atthetwentiethrepetition——noboycanstandthetortureofoneunvaryingquery，whichistheessenceofbullying——
cameconfession。
\"Wedid，confoundyou！\"
\"Thenyou’llbeknuckled；\"andknuckledtheywere，accordingtoancientexperience。
Head—knucklingisnotrifle；\"Molly\"Fairburnoftheolddayscouldnothavedonebetter。
\"DidyougiveClewerBrush—drill？\"Thistimethequestionwasansweredsooner，andBrush—drillwasdealtoutforthespaceoffiveminutesbyStalky’swatch。Theycouldnotevenwritheintheirbonds。NobrushisemployedinBrush—drill。
\"DidyougiveClewertheKey？\"
\"No；wedidn’t。Iswearwedidn’t！\"fromCampbell，rollinginagony。
\"Thenwe’llgiveittoyou，soyoucanseewhatitwouldbelikeifyouhad。\"
ThetortureoftheKey——whichhasnokeyatall——hurtsexcessively。Theyenduredseveralminutesofit，andtheirlanguagenecessitatedthegag。
\"DidyougiveClewerCorkscrews？\"
\"Yes。Oh，curseyoursillysouls！Letusalone，youcads。\"
Theywerecorkscrewed，andthetortureoftheCorkscrew——thishasnothingtodowithcorkscrews——iskeenerthanthetortureoftheKey。
Themethodandsilenceoftheattackswasbreakingtheirnerves。Betweeneachnewtorturecamethepitiless，dazingrainofquestions，andwhentheydidnotanswertothepoint，Isabella—coloredhandkerchiefswerethrustintotheirmouths。
\"NowarethoseallthethingsyoudidtoClewer？Takeoutthegag，Turkey，andlet’emanswer。\"
\"Yes，Iswearthatwasall。Oh，you’rekillingus，Stalky！\"criedCampbell。
\"Pre—ciselywhatClewersaidtoyou。Iheardhim。Nowwe’regoin’toshowyouwhatrealbullyin’is。’WhatIdon’tlikeaboutyou，Sefton，is，youcometotheColl。
withyourstick—upcollarsan’patent—leatherboots，an’youthinkyoucanteachussomethingaboutbullying。Doyouthinkyoucanteachusanythingaboutbullying？
Takeoutthegagandlethimanswer。\"
\"No！\"——ferociously。
\"Hesaysno。Rockhimtosleep。Campbellcanwatch。\"
Itneedsthreebeysandtwoboxing—glovestorockaboytosleep。Againtheoperationhasnothingtodowithitsname。Seftonwas\"rocked\"tillhiseyessetinhisheadandhegaspedandcrowedforbreath，sickanddizzy。
\"MyAunt！\"saidCampbell，appalled，fromhiscorner，andturnedwhite。
\"Puthimaway，\"saidStalky。\"BringonCampbell。Nowthis_is_bullyin’。Oh，I
forgot！Isay，Campbell，whatdidyoubullyClewerfor？Takeouthisgagandlethimanswer。\"
\"I——Idon’tknow。Oh，letmeoff！IswearI’llmakeit_pax_。Don’t’rock’me！\"
\"’Thebleatin’ofthekidexcitesthetiger。’Hesayshedon’tknow。Sethimup，Beetle。Givemetheglovean’putinthegag。\"
InsilenceCampbellwas\"rocked\"sixty—fourtimes。
\"IbelieveI’mgoin’todie！\"hegasped。\"Hesaysheisgoin’todie。Puthimaway。
Now，Sefton！Oh，Iforgot！Sefton，whatdidyoubullyClewerfor？\"
Theanswerisunprintable；butitbroughtnotthefaintestflushtoStalky’sdownycheek。
\"MakehimanAgAg，Turkey！\"
AndanAgAgwashemade，forthwith。Thehard—boughtexperienceofnearlyeighteenyearswasathisdisposal，buthedidnotseemtoappreciateit。
\"Hesayswearesweeps。Puthimaway！Now，Campbell！Oh，Iforgot！Isay，Campbell，whatdidyoubullyClewerfor？\"
Thencamethetears——scaldingtears；appealsformercyandabjectpromisesofpeace。
LetthemceasethetorturesandCampbellwouldneverlifthandagainstthem。Thequestionsbeganagain——toanaccompanimentofsmallpersuasions。
\"Youseemhurt，Campbell。Areyouhurt？\"
\"Yes。Awfully！\"
\"Hesaysheishurt。Areyoubroke？\"
\"Yes，yes！IswearIam。Oh，stop！\"
\"Hesaysheisbroke。Areyouhumble？\"
\"Yes！\"
\"Hesaysheishumble。Areyoudevilishhumble？\"
\"Yes！\"
\"Hesaysheisdevilishhumble。WillyoubullyCleweranymore？\"
\"No。No——ooh！\"
\"Hesayshewon’tbullyClewer。Oranyoneelse？\"
\"No。IswearIwon’t。\"
\"Oranyoneelse。Whataboutthatlickin’youandSeftonweregoin’togiveus？\"
\"Iwon’t！Iwon’t！IswearIwon’t！\"
\"Hesayshewon’tlickus。Doyouesteemyourselftoknowanythingaboutbullyin’？\"
\"No，Idon’t！\"
\"Hesayshedoesn’tknowanythingaboutbullyin’。Haven’twetaughtyoualot？\"
\"Yes——yes！\"
\"Hesayswe’vetaughthimalot。Aren’tyougrateful？\"
\"Yes！\"
\"Hesaysheisgrateful。Puthimaway。Oh，Iforgot！Isay，Campbell，whatdidyoubullyClewerfor？\"
Heweptanew；hisnervesbeingraw。\"BecauseIwasabully。Isupposethat’swhatyouwantmetosay？\"
\"Hesaysheisabully。Rightheis。Puthiminthecorner。NomorejapesforCampbell。Now，Sefton！\"
\"Youdevils！Youyoungdevils！\"ThisandmuchmoreasSeftonwaspuntedacrossthecarpetbyskilfulknees。
\"’Thebleatin’ofthekidexcitesthetiger。’We’regoin’tomakeyoubeautiful。
Wheredoeshekeephisshavingthings？[Campbelltold。]Beetle，getsomewater。
Turkey，makethelather。We’regoin’toshaveyou，Seffy，soyou’dbetterliejollystill，oryou’llgetcut。I’venevershavedanyonebefore。\"
\"Don’t！Oh，don’t！Pleasedon’t！\"
\"Gettin’polite，eh？I’monlygoin’totakeoffoneduckylittlewhisker——\"
\"I’ll——I’llmakeit_pax_，ifyoudon’t。IswearI’llletyouoffyourlickin’whenIgetup！\"
\"_And_halfthatmustachewe’resoproudof。Hesayshe’llletusoffourlickin’。
Isn’thekind？\"
McTurklaughedintothenickel—platedshaving—cup，andsettledSefton’sheadbetweenStalky’svise—likeknees。
\"Holdonashake，\"saidBeetle，\"youcan’tshavelonghairs。You’vegottocutallthatmustacheshortfirst，an’thenscrapehim。\"
\"Well，I’mnotgoin’tohuntaboutforscissors。Won’tamatchdo？Chuckusthematch—box。He_is_ahog，youknow；wemightaswellsingehim。Liestill！\"Helitavesta，butcheckedhishand。\"Ionlywanttotakeoffhalf，though。\"
\"That’sallright。\"Beetlewavedthebrush。\"I’lllatheruptothemiddle——see？andyoucanburnofftherest。\"
Thethin—hairedfirstmustacheofyouthfluffedoffinflametothelather—lineinthecentreofthelip，andStalkyrubbedawaytheburntstumpagewithhisthumb。Itwasnotaverygentleshave，butitabundantlyaccomplisheditspurpose。
\"Nowthewhiskerontheotherside。Turnhimover！\"Betweenmatchandrazorthis，too，wasremoved。\"Givehimhisshaving—glass。Takethegagout。Iwanttohearwhathe’llsay。\"
Buttherewerenowords。Seftongazedatthelop—sidedwreckinhorroranddespair。
Twofattearsrolleddownhischeek。
\"Oh，Iforgot！Isay，Sefton，whatdidyoubullyClewerfor？\"
\"Leavemealone！Oh，youinfernalbullies，leavemealone！Haven’tIhadenough？\"
\"Hesayswemustleavehimalone，\"saidMcTurk。
\"Hesayswearebullies，an’wehaven’tevenbegunyet，\"saidBeetle。\"You’reungrateful，Seffy。Golly！Youdolookanatrocityandahalf！\"
\"Hesayshehashadenough，\"saidStalky。\"Heerrs！\"
\"Well，towork，towork！\"chantedMcTurk，wavingastump。\"Comeon，mygiddyNarcissus。Don’tfallinlovewithyourownreflection！\"
\"Oh，lethimoff，\"saidCampbellfromhiscorner；\"he’sblubbing，too。\"
Seftoncriedlikeatwelve—year—oldwithpain，shame，woundedvanity，andutterhelplessness。
\"You’llmakeit_pax_，Sefton，won’tyou？Youcan’tstanduptothoseyoungdevils——\"
\"Don’tberude，Campbell，de—ah，\"saidMcTurk，\"oryou’llcatchitagain！\"
\"You_are_devils，youknow，\"saidCampbell。
\"What？foralittlebullyin’——sameasyou’vebeengivin’Clewer！Howlonghaveyoubeenjestin’withhim？\"saidStalky。\"Allthisterm？\"
\"Wedidn’talwaysknockhimabout，though！\"
\"Youdidwhenyoucouldcatchhim，\"saidBeetle，cross—leggedonthefloor，droppingastumpfromtimetotimeacrossSefton’sinstep。\"Don’tIknowit！\"
\"I——perhapswedid。\"
\"Andyouwentoutofyourwaytocatchhim？Don’tIknowit！Becausehewasanawfullittlebeast，eh？Don’tIknowit！Now，yousee，_you_’reawfulbeasts，andyou’regettin’whathegot——forbein’abeast。Justbecausewechoose。\"
\"Weneverreallybulliedhim——likeyou’vedoneus。\"
\"Yah！\"saidBeetle。\"Theyneverreallybully——’Molly’Fairburndidn’t。Onlyknock’emaboutalittlebit。That’swhattheysay。Onlykicktheirsoulsoutof’em，andtheygoandblubinthebox—rooms。Shovetheirheadsintotheulstersan’blub。
Writehomethreetimesaday——yes，youbrute，I’vedonethat——askin’tobetakenaway。You’veneverbeenbulliedproperly，CampbellI’msorryyoumade_pax_。\"
\"I’mnot！\"saidCampbell，whowasahumoristinaway。\"Lookout，you’reslayingSefton！\"
InhisexcitementBeetlehadusedthestumpunreflectingly，andSeftonwasnowshoutingformercy。
\"An’you！\"hecried，wheelingwherehesat。\"You’veneverbeenbullied，either。
Wherewereyoubeforeyoucamehere？\"
\"I——Ihadatutor。\"
\"Yah！Youwould。Youneverblubbedinyourlife。Butyou’reblubbin’now，bygum。
Aren’tyoublubbin’？\"
\"Can’tyousee，youblindbeast？\"Seftonfelloversideways，tear—tracksfurrowingthedriedlather。Crackcamethecricket—stumponthecurvedlatter—endofhim。
\"Blind，amI，\"saidBeetle，\"andabeast？Shutup，Stalky。I’mgoin’tojapeabitwithourfriend，_a’_la_’Molly’Fairburn。_I_thinkIcansee。Can’tIsee，Sefton？\"
\"Thepointiswelltaken，\"saidMcTurk，watchingthestrapatwork。\"You’dbettersaythathesees，Seffy。\"
\"Youdo——youcan！Iswearyoudo！\"yelledSefton，forstrongargumentswerecoercinghim。
\"Aren’tmyeyeslovely？\"Thestumproseandfellsteadilythroughoutthiscatechism。
\"Yes。\"
\"Agentlehazel，aren’tthey？\"
\"Yes——oh，yes！\"
\"Whataliaryouare！They’resky—blue。Ain’ttheysky—blue？\"
\"Yes——oh，yes！\"
\"Youdon’tknowyourmindfromoneminutetoanother。Youmustlearn——youmustlearn。\"
\"Whatabaityou’rein！\"saidStalky。\"Keepyourhairon，Beetle。\"
\"I’vehaditdonetome，\"saidBeetle。\"Now——aboutmybeingabeast。\"
\"_Pax_——oh，_pax_！\"criedSefton；\"makeit_pax_。I’llgiveup！Letmeoff！I’mbroke！Ican’tstandit！\"
\"Ugh！Justwhenweweregettin’ourhandin！\"gruntedMcTurk。
\"Theydidn’tletCleweroff，I’llswear。\"
\"Confess——apologize——quick！\"saidStalky。
FromthefloorSeftonmadeunconditionalsurrender，moreabjectlyeventhanCampbellHewouldnevertouchanyoneagain。Hewouldgosoftlyallthedaysofhislife。
\"We’vegottotakeit，Isuppose？\"saidStalky。\"Allright，Sefton。You’rebroke？
Verygood。Shutup，Beetle！Butbeforeweletyouup，youan’Campbellwillkindlyobligeuswith’KittyofColeraine’——_a’_la_Clewer。\"
\"That’snotfair，\"saidCampbell；\"we’vesurrendered。\"
\"’Courseyouhave。Nowyou’regoin’todowhatwetellyou——sameasClewerwould。Ifyouhadn’tsurrenderedyou’dha’beenreallybullied。Havin’surrendered——doyoufollow，Seffy？——yousingodesinhonoroftheconquerors。Hurryup！\"
Theydroppedintochairsluxuriously。CampbellandSeftonlookedateachother，and，neithertakingcomfortfromthatview，struckup\"KittyofColeraine。\"
\"Vilebad，\"saidStalky，asthemiserablewailingended。\"Ifyouhadn’tsurrendereditwouldhavebeenourpainfuldutytobuzzbooksatyouforsingin’outo’tune。
Nowthen。\"
Hefreedthemfromtheirbonds，butforseveralminutestheycouldnotrise。
Campbellwasfirstonhisfeet，smilinguneasily。Seftonstaggeredtothetable，buriedhisheadinhisarms，andshookwithsobs。Therewasnoshadowoffightineither——onlyamazement，distress，andshame。
\"Ca——can’theshavecleanbeforetea，please？\"saidCampbell。\"It’stenminutestobell。\"
Stalkyshookhishead。Hemeanttoescortthehalf—shavedonetothemeal。
McTurkyawnedinhischairandBeetlemoppedhisface。Theywerealldrippingwithexcitementandexertion。
\"IfIknewanythingaboutit，IswearI’dgiveyouamorallecture，\"saidStalkyseverely。
\"Don’tjaw；they’vesurrendered，\"saidMcTurk。\"Thismoralsuasionbiznaitakesitoutofachap。\"
\"Don’tyouseehowgentlewe’vebeen？WemighthavecalledClewerintolookatyou，\"saidStalky。\"’Thebleatin’ofthetigerexcitesthekid。’Butwedidn’t。
We’veonlygottotellafewchapsinColl。aboutthisandyou’dbehootedallovertheshop。Yourlifewouldn’tbeworthhavin’。Butwearen’tgoin’todothat，either。We’restrictlymoralsuasers，Campbell；so，unlessyouorSeffysplitaboutthis，noonewill。\"
\"Iswearyou’reabrick，\"saidCampbell。\"IsupposeIwasratherabrutetoClewer。\"
\"Itlookedlikeit，\"saidStalky。\"ButIdon’tthinkSeffyneedcomeintohallwithcock—eyewhiskers。Horridbadforthefagsiftheysawhim。Hecanshave。Ain’tyougrateful，Sefton？\"
Theheaddidnotlift。Seftonwasdeeplyasleep。
\"That’srummy，\"saidMcTurk，asasnoremixedwithasob。\"’Cheek，_I_think；orelsehe’sshammin’。\"
\"No，’tisn’t，\"saidBeetle。\"’When’Molly’FairburnhadattendedtomeforanhourorsoIusedtogobungofftosleeponaformsometimes。Poordevil！Buthecalledmeabeastlypoet，though。\"
\"Well，comeon。\"Stalkyloweredhisvoice。\"Good—by，Campbell。’Member，ifyoudon’ttalk，nobodywill。\"
Thereshouldhavebeenawar—dance，butthatallthreeweresoutterlytiredthattheyalmostwenttosleepabovethetea—cupsintheirstudy，andslepttillprep。
\"Amostextraordinaryletter。Areallparentsincurablymad？Whatdoyoumakeofit？\"saidtheHead，handingacloselywritteneightpagestotheReverendJohn。
\"’Theonlysonofhismother，andsheawidow。’Thatistheleastreasonablesort。\"
Thechaplainreadwithpursedlips。\"Ifhalfthosechargesaretrueheshouldbeinthesick—house；whereasheisdisgustinglywell。Certainlyhehasshaved。Inoticedthat。\"
\"Undercompulsion，ashismotherpointsout。Howdelicious！Howsalutary！\"
\"Youhaven’ttoanswerher。Itisn’toftenIdon’tknowwhathashappenedintheschool；butthisisbeyondme。\"
\"IfyouaskedmeIshouldsayseeknottopropitiate。Whenoneisforcedtotakecrammers’pups——\"
\"Hewasperfectlywellatextra—tuition——withme——thismorning，\"saidtheHead，absently。\"Unusuallywellbehaved，too。\"
\"——theyeithereducatetheschool，ortheschool，asinthiscase，educatesthem。I
preferourownmethods，\"thechaplainconcluded。
\"Youthinkitwasthat？\"AliftoftheHead’seyebrow。
\"I’msureofit！AndnothingexcuseshistryingtogivetheCollegeabadname。\"
\"That’sthelineImeantotakewithhim，\"theHeadanswered。
TheAugurswinked。
AfewdayslatertheReverendJohncalledonNumberFive。\"Whyhaven’tweseenyoubefore，Padre？\"saidthey。
\"I’vebeenwatchingtimesandseasonsandeventsandmen——andboys，\"hereplied。\"I
ampleasedwithmyTenthLegion。Imakethemmycompliments。Clewerwasthrowingink—ballsinformthismorning，insteadofdoinghiswork。Heisnowdoingfiftylinesfor——unheard—ofaudacity。\"
\"Youcan’tblameus，sir，\"saidBeetle。\"Youtoldustoremovethe——er——pressure。
That’stheworstofafag。\"
\"I’veknownboysfiveyearshisseniorthrowink—balls，Beetle。TosuchanonehaveIgiventwohundredlines——notsolongago。AndnowIcometothinkofit，werethoselinesevershownup？\"
\"Werethey，Turkey？’saidBeetleunblushingly。
\"Don’tyouthinkClewerlooksalittlecleaner，Padre？\"Stalkyinterrupted。
\"We’renoendofmoralreformers，\"saidMcTurk。
\"ItwasallStalky，butitwasalark，\"saidBeetle。
\"Ihavenoticedthemoralreforminseveralquarters。Didn’tItellyouyouhadmoreinfluencethananyboysintheColl。ifyoucaredtouseit？\"
\"It’satrifleexhaustin’tousefrequent——ourkindofmoralsuasion。Besides，yousee，itonlymakesClewercheeky。\"
\"Iwasn’tthinkingofClewer；Iwasthinkingof——theotherpeople，Stalky。\"
\"Oh，wedidn’tbothermuchabouttheotherpeople，\"saidMcTurk。\"Didwe？\"
\"But_I_did——fromthebeginning。\"
\"Thenyouknew，sir？\"
Adownwardpuffofsmoke。\"Boyseducateeachother，theysay，morethanwecanordare。IfIhadusedonehalfofthemoralsuasionyoumayormaynothaveemployed——\"
\"Withthebestmotivesintheworld。Don’tforgetourpiousmotives，Padre，\"saidMcTurk。
\"IsupposeIshouldbenowlanguishinginBidefordjail，shouldn’tI？Well，toquotetheHead，inalittlebusinesswhichwehaveagreedtoforget，thatstrikesmeasflagrantinjustice……Whatareyoulaughingat，youyoungsinners？Isn’tittrue？I
willnotstaytobeshoutedat。WhatIlookedintothisdenofiniquityforwastofindoutifanyonecaredtocomedownforabatheofftheRidge。ButIseeyouwon’t。\"
\"Won’twe，though！Halfashake，PadreSahib，tillwegetourtowels，and_nous_sommes_avec_vous_！\"
ALITTLEPREP。
EastertermwasbutamontholdwhenStettsonmajor，adayboy，contracteddiphtheria，andtheHeadwasveryangry。Hedecreedanewandnarrowersetofbounds——theinfectionhadbeentracedtoanout—lyingfarmhouse——urgedtheprefectsseverelytolickalltrespassers，andpromisedextraattentionsfromhisownhand。
TherewerenowordsbadenoughforStettsonmajor，quarantinedathismother’shouse，whohadloweredtheschool—averageofhealth。Thishesaidinthegymnasiumafterprayers。Thenhewrotesometwohundredletterstoasmanyanxiousparentsandguardians，andbadetheschoolcarryon。Thetroubledidnotspread，but，onenight，adog—cartdrovetotheHead’sdoor，andinthemorningtheHeadhadgone，leavingallthingsinchargeofMr。King，seniorhouse—master。TheHeadoftenranuptotown，wheretheschooldevoutlybelievedhebribedofficialsforearlyproofsoftheArmyExaminationpapers；butthisabsencewasunusuallyprolonged。
\"Downyoldbird！\"saidStalkytothealliesonewetafternooninthestudy。\"Hemusthavegoneonabendandbeenlockedupunderafalsename。\"
\"Whatfor？\"Beetleenteredjoyouslyintothelibel。
\"Fortyshillin’soramonthforhackin’thechucker—outofthePavvyontheshins。
Batesalwayshasaspreewhenhegoestotown。Wishhewasback，though。I’maboutsicko’King’s’whipsan’scorpions’an’lecturesonpublic—schoolspirit——yah！——andscholarship！\"
\"’Crassan’materializedbrutalityofthemiddle—classes——readin’solelyformarks。
Notascholarinthewholeschool，’\"McTurkquoted，pensivelyboringholesinthemantel—piecewithahotpoker。
\"That’sratherasicklywayofspendinganafternoon。Stinkstoo。Let’scomeoutan’
smoke。Here’satreat。\"StalkyheldupalongIndiancheroot。\"’Baggeditfrommypaterlastholidays。I’mabitshyofitthough；it’sheftierthanapipe。We’llsmokeitpalaver—fashion。Handitround，eh？Let’slieupbehindtheoldharrowontheMonkey—farmRoad。\"
\"Outofbounds。Boundsbeastlystrictthesedays，too。Besides，weshallcat。\"
Beetlesniffedthecherootcritically。\"It’saregularPomposoStinkadore。\"
\"Youcan；Ishan’t。Whatd’yousay，Turkey？\"
\"Oh，may’swell，Is’pose。\"
\"Chuckonyourcap，then。It’stwotoone。Beetle，outyoucome！\"
Theysawagroupofboysbythenotice—boardinthecorridor；littleFoxy，theschoolsergeant，amongthem。
\"Morebounds，Iexpect，\"saidStalky。\"Hullo，Foxibus，whoareyouinmournin’for？\"
TherewasabroadbandofcraperoundFoxy’sarm。
\"Hewasinmyoldregiment，\"saidFoxy，jerkinghisheadtowardsthenotices，whereanewspapercuttingwasthumb—tackedbetweencalloverlists。
\"Bygum！\"quothStalky，uncoveringasheread。\"It’soldDuncan——Fat—SowDuncan——killedondutyatsomethingorotherKotal。’_Rallyin’_his_men_with_
_conspicuous_gallantry。_’Hewould，ofcourse。’_The_body_was_recovered_。’That’sallright。Theycut’emupsometimes，don’tthey，Foxy？\"
\"Horrid，\"saidthesergeantbriefly。
\"PooroldFat—Sow！Iwasafagwhenheleft。Howmanydoesthatmaketous，Foxy？\"
\"Mr。Duncan，heistheninth。HecomeherewhenhewasnobiggerthanlittleGreytertius。Myoldregiment，too。Yiss，ninetous，Mr。Corkran，uptodate。\"
Theboyswentoutintothewet，walkingswiftly。
\"Wonderhowitfeels——tobeshotandallthat，\"saidStalky，astheysplasheddownalane。\"Wheredidithappen，Beetle？\"
\"Oh，outinIndiasomewhere。We’realwaysrowin’there。Butlookhere，Stalky，what_is_thegoodo’sittin’underahedgean’cattin’？It’sbe—eastlycold。It’sbe—eastlywet，andwe’llbecollaredassureasagun。\"
\"Shutup！DidyoueverknowyourUncleStalkygetyouintoamessyet？\"Likemanyotherleaders，Stalkydidnotdwellonpastdefeats。
Theypushedthroughadrippinghedge，landedamongwater—loggedclods，andsatdownonarust—coatedharrow。Thecherootburnedwithsputteringsofsaltpetre。Theysmokeditgingerly，eachpassingtotheotherbetweendosedforefingerandthumb。
\"Goodjobwehadn’toneapiece，ain’tit？\"saidStalky，shiveringthroughsetteeth。
Toprovehiswordsheimmediatelylaidallbeforethem，andtheyfollowedhisexample……
\"Itoldyou，\"moanedBeetle，sweatingclammydrops。\"Oh，Stalky，youareafool！\"
\"_Je_cat_，_tu_cat_，_il_cat_。_Nouscattons_！\"McTurkhandeduphiscontributionandlayhopelesslyonthecoldiron。
\"Something’swrongwiththebeastlything。Isay，Beetle，haveyoubeendroppin’inkonit？\"
ButBeetlewasinnocasetoanswer。Limpandempty，theysprawledacrosstheharrow，therustmarkingtheirulstersinredsquaresandtheabandonedcheroot—endreekingundertheirverycoldnoses。Then——theyhadheardnothing——theHeadhimselfstoodbeforethem——theHeadwhoshouldhavebeenintownbribingexaminers——theHeadfantasticallyattiredinoldtweedsandadeer—stalker！
\"Ah，\"hesaid，fingeringhismustache。\"Verygood。Imighthaveguessedwhoitwas。
YouwillgobacktotheCollegeandgivemycomplimentstoMr。Kingandaskhimtogiveyouanextra—speciallicking。Youwillthendomefivehundredlines。Ishallbebackto—morrow。Fivehundredlinesbyfiveo’clockto—morrow。Youarealsogatedforaweek。Thisisnotexactlythetimeforbreakingbounds。Extra—special，please。\"
Hedisappearedoverthehedgeaslightlyashehadcome。Therewasamurmurofwomen’svoicesinthedeeplane。
\"Oh，youProoshanbrute！\"saidMcTurkasthevoicesdiedaway。\"Stalky，it’sallyoursillyfault。\"
\"Killhim！Killhim！\"gaspedBeetle。
\"Ica—an’t。I’mgoingtocatagain……Idon’tmindthat，butKing’llgloatoverushorrid。Extra—special，ooh！\"
Stalkymadenoanswer——notevenasoftone。TheywenttoCollegeandreceivedthatforwhichtheyhadbeensent。Kingenjoyedhimselfmostthoroughly，forbyvirtueoftheirsenioritytheboyswereexemptfromhishand，saveunderspecialorder。
Luckily，hewasnoexpertinthegentleart。
\"’Strange，howdesiredothoutrunperformance，’\"saidBeetleirreverently，quotingfromsomeShakespeareplaythattheywerecrammingthatterm。Theyregainedtheirstudyandsettleddowntotheimposition。
\"You’requiteright，Beetle。\"Stalkyspokeinsilkyandpropitiatingtones。\"Now，iftheHeadhadsentusuptoaprefect，we’dhavegotsomethingtoremember！\"
\"Lookhere，\"McTurkbeganwithcoldvenom，\"wearen’tgoin’torowyouaboutthisbusiness，becauseit’stoobadforarow；butwewantyoutounderstandyou’rejollywellexcommunicated，Stalky。You’reaplainass。\"
\"HowwasItoknowthattheHead’udcollarus？Whatwashedoin’inthoseghastlyclothes，too？\"
\"Don’ttrytoraiseaside—issue，\"Beetlegruntedseverely。
\"Well，itwasallStettsonmajor’sfault。Ifhehadn’tgonean’gotdiphtheria’twouldn’thavehappened。Butdon’tyouthinkitratherrummy——theHeaddroppin’onusthatway？\"
\"Shutup！You’redead！\"saidBeetle。\"We’vechoppedyourspursoffyourbeastlyheels。We’vecockedyourshieldupsidedownand———andIdon’tthinkyououghttobeallowedtobrewforamonth。\"
\"Oh，stopjawin’atme。Iwant——\"
\"Stop？Why——why，we’regatedforaweek。\"McTurkalmosthowledastheagonyofthesituationover—camehim。\"Alickin’fromKing，fivehundredlines，_and_agatin’。
D’youexpectustokissyou，Stalky，youbeast？\"
\"Droprottin’foraminute。IwanttofindoutabouttheHeadbein’wherehewas。\"
\"Well，youhave。Youfoundhimquitewellandfit。Foundhimmakin’lovetoStettsonmajor’smother。Thatwasherinthelane——Iheardher。Andsowewereorderedalickin’beforeaday—boy’smother。Bonyoldwidow，too，\"saidMcTurk。\"Anythingelseyou’dliketofindout？\"
\"Idon’tcare。IswearI’llgetevenwithhimsomeday，\"Stalkygrowled。
\"Lookslikeit，\"saidMcTurk。\"Extra—special，week’sgatin’andfivehundred……andnowyou’regoin’torowaboutit！Helpscraghim，Beetle！\"StalkyhadthrownhisVirgilatthem。
TheHeadreturnednextdaywithoutexplanation，tofindthelineswaitingforhimandtheschoolalittlerelaxedunderMr。King’sviceroyalty。Mr。Kinghadbeentalkingatandroundandovertheboys’heads，inaloftyandpromiscuousstyle，ofpublic—schoolspiritandthetraditionsofancientseats；forhealwaysimprovedanoccasion。Beyondwakingintwohundredandfiftyyoungheartsalivelyhatredofallotherfoundations，heaccomplishedlittle——solittle，indeed，thatwhen，twodaysaftertheHead’sreturn，hechancedtocomeacrossStalky&Co。，gatedbuteverresourceful，playingmarblesinthecorridor，hesaidthathewasnotsurprised——notintheleastsurprised。Thiswaswhathehadexpectedfrompersonsoftheir_morale_。
\"Butthereisn’tanyruleagainstmarbles，sir。Veryinterestin’game，\"saidBeetle，hiskneeswhitewithchalkanddust。Thenhereceivedtwohundredlinesforinsolence，besidesanordertogotothenearestprefectforjudgmentandslaughter。
ThisiswhathappenedbehindthecloseddoorsofFlint’sstudy，andFlintwasthenHeadoftheGames：——
\"Oh，Isay，Flint。Kinghassentmetoyouforplayin’marblesinthecorridoran’
shoutin’’alleytor’an’’knuckledown。’\"
\"WhatdoeshesupposeIhavetodowiththat？\"wastheanswer。
\"Dunno。Well？\"Beetlegrinnedwickedly。\"WhatamItotellhim？He’sratherwrathyaboutit。\"
\"IftheHeadchoosestoputanoticeinthecorridorforbiddin’marbles，Icandosomething；butIcan’tmoveonahouse—master’sreport。HeknowsthataswellasI
do。\"
ThesenseofthisoracleBeetleconveyed，allunsweetened，toKing，whohastenedtointerviewFlint。
NowFlinthadbeensevenandahalfyearsattheCollege，countingsixmonthswithaLondoncrammer，fromwhoseroofhehadreturned，homesick，totheHeadforthefinalArmypolish。Therewerefourorfiveotherseniorswhobadgonethroughmuchthesamemill，nottomentionboys，rejectedbyotherestablishmentsonaccountofacertainoverwhelmingness，whomtheHeadhadwroughtintoveryfairshape。ItwasnotaSixthtobehandledwithoutgloves，asKingfound。
\"AmItounderstanditisyourintentiontoallowboard—schoolgamesunderyourstudywindows，Flint？Ifso，Icanonlysay——\"Hesaidmuch，andFlintlistenedpolitely。
\"Well，sir，iftheHeadseesfittocallaprefects’meetingweareboundtotakethematterup。Butthetraditionoftheschoolisthattheprefectscan’tmoveinanymatteraffectingthewholeschoolwithouttheHead’sdirectorder。\"
Muchmorewasthendelivered，bothsidesalittlelosingtheirtemper。
Aftertea，ataninformalgatheringofprefectsinhisstudy，Flintrelatedtheadventure。
\"He’sbeenplayin’forthisforaweek，andnowhe’sgotit。YouknowaswellasI
dothatifhehadn’tbeengassingatusthewayhehas，thatyoungdevilBeetlewouldn’thavedreamedofmarbles。\"
\"Weknowthat，\"saidPerowne，\"butthatisn’tthequestion。OnFlint’sshowin’Kinghascalledtheprefectsnamesenoughtojustifyafirst—classrow。Crammers’
rejections，ill—regulatedhobble—de—hoys，wasn’tit？Nowit’simpossibleforprefects——\"
\"Rot，\"saidFlint。\"King’sthebestclassicalcramwe’vegot；and’tisn’tfairtobothertheHeadwitharow。He’suptohiseyeswithextra—tu。andArmyworkasitis。Besides，asItoldKing，we_aren’t_apublicschool。We’realimitedliabilitycompanypayin’fourpercent。Myfather’sashareholder，too。\"
\"What’sthatgottodowithit？\"saidVenner，ared—headedboyofnineteen。
\"Well，seemstomethatweshouldbeinterferin’withourselves。We’vegottogetintotheArmyor——getout，haven’twe？King’shiredbytheCounciltoteachus。Alltherest’sgumdiddle。Can’tyousee？\"
ItmighthavebeenbecausehefelttheairwasalittlethunderousthattheHeadtookhisafter—dinnercheroottoFlint’sstudy；buthesooftenbegananeveninginaprefect’sroomthatnobodysuspectedwhenhedriftedinpensively，aftertheknocksthatetiquettedemanded。
\"Prefects’meeting？\"Acockofonewiseeye—brow。
\"Notexactly，sir；we’rejusttalkingthingsover。Won’tyoutaketheeasychair？\"
\"Thanks。Luxuriousinfants，youare。\"HedroppedintoFlint’sbighalf—couchandpuffedforawhileinsilence。\"Well，sinceyou’reallhere，ImayconfessthatI’mthemutewiththebowstring。\"
Theyoungfacesgrewserious。Thephrasemeantthatcertainoftheirnumberwouldbewithdrawnfromallfurthergamesforextra—tuition。ItmightalsomeanfuturesuccessatSandhurst；butitwaspresentruinfortheFirstFifteen。
\"Yes，I’vecomeformypoundofflesh。IoughttohavehadyououtbeforetheExetermatch；butit’soursacreddutytobeatExeter。\"
\"Isn’ttheOldBoys’matchsacred，too，sir？\"saidPerowne。TheOldBoys’matchwastheeventoftheEasterterm。
\"We’llhopetheyaren’tintraining。Nowforthelist。FirstIwantFlint。It’stheEuclidthatdoesit。Youmustworkdeductionswithme。Perowne，extramechanicaldrawing。DawsongoestoMr。KingforextraLatin，andVennertomeforGerman。HaveIdamagedtheFirstFifteenmuch？\"Hesmiledsweetly。
\"Ruinedit，I’mafraid，sir，\"saidFlint。\"Can’tyouletusofftilltheendoftheterm？\"
\"Impossible。ItwillbeatightsqueezeforSandhurstthisyear。\"
\"AndalltobecutupbythosevileAfghans，too，\"saidDawson。\"Wouldn’tthinkthere’dbesomuchcompetition，wouldyou？\"
\"Oh，thatremindsme。CrandalliscomingdownwiththeOldBoys——I’veaskedtwentyofthem，butweshan’tgetmorethanaweakteam。Idon’tknowwhetherhe’llbemuchuse，though。Hewasratherknockedabout，recoveringpooroldDuncan’sbody。\"
\"Crandallmajor——theGunner？\"Perowneasked。
\"No，theminor——’Toffee’Crandall——inanativeinfantryregiment。Hewasalmostbeforeyourtime，Perowne。\"
\"Thepapersdidn’tsayanythingabouthim。WereadaboutFat—Sow，ofcourse。
What’sCrandalldone。sir？\"
\"I’vebroughtoveranIndianpaperthathismothersentme。Itwasrathera——hefty，Ithinkyousay——pieceofwork。ShallIreadit？\"TheHeadknewhowtoread。Whenhehadfinishedthequarter—columnofclosetypeeverybodythankedhimpolitely。
\"GoodfortheoldColl。！\"saidPerowne。\"Pityhewasn’tintimetosaveFat—Sow，though。That’sninetous，isn’tit，inthelastthreeyears？\"
\"Yes……AndItookoldDuncanoffallgamesforextra—tu。fiveyearsagothisterm，\"
saidtheHead。\"Bytheway，whodoyouhandovertheGamesto，Flint？\"
\"Haven’tthoughtyet。Who’dyourecommend，sir？\"
\"No，thankyou。I’vehearditcasuallyhintedbehindmybackthattheProoshanBatesisadownybird，butheisn’tgoingtomakehimselfresponsibleforanewHeadoftheGames。Settleitamongyourselves。Good—night。\"
\"Andthat’stheman，\"saidFlint，whenthedoorshut，\"thatyouwanttobotherwithadame’sschoolrow。\"
\"Iwasonlypullin’yourfatleg，\"Perownereturned，hastily。\"You’resoeasytodraw，Flint。\"
\"Well，nevermindthat。TheHead’sknockedtheFirstFifteentobits，andwe’vegottopickupthepieces，ortheOldBoyswillhaveawalk—over。Let’spromotealltheSecondFifteenandmakeBigSideplayup。There’sheapsoftalentsomewherethatwecanpolishupbetweennowandthematch。\"
ThecasewasrepresentedsourgentlytotheschoolthatevenStalkyandMcTurk，whoaffectedtodespisefootball，playedoneBig—Sidegameseriously。Theywereforthwithpromotederetheirardorhadtimetocool，andthedignityoftheirCapsdemandedthattheyshouldkeepsomeshowofvirtue。Thematch—teamwasworkedatleastfourdaysoutofseven，andtheschoolsawhopeahead。