第8章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Camille",免费读到尾

  \"Andwhythisproposition?\"

  \"BecauseIaminlovewithyou,ofcourse。\"

  \"No,butbecauseyouloveMarguerite,andyouwanttohaveyourrevengeuponherbybecomingmylover。Youdon\'tdeceiveawomanlikeme,mydearfriend;unluckily,Iamstilltooyoungandtoogood-lookingtoacceptthepartthatyouofferme。\"

  \"Soyourefuse?\"

  \"Yes。

  \"Wouldyourathertakemefornothing?ItisIwhowouldn\'tacceptthen。Thinkitover,mydearOlympe;ifIhadsentsomeonetoofferyouthesethreehundredlouisonmybehalf,ontheconditionsIattachtothem,youwouldhaveaccepted。Ipreferredtospeaktoyoumyself。Acceptwithoutinquiringintomyreasons;

  saytoyourselfthatyouarebeautiful,andthatthereisnothingsurprisinginmybeinginlovewithyou。\"

  MargueritewasawomaninthesamepositionasOlympe,andyetI

  shouldneverhavedaredsaytoherthefirsttimeImetherwhatIhadsaidtotheotherwoman。IlovedMarguerite。Isawinherinstinctswhichwerelackingintheother,andattheverymomentinwhichImademybargain,IfeltadisgusttowardthewomanwithwhomIwasmakingit。

  Sheaccepted,ofcourse,intheend,andatmiddayIleftherhouseasherlover;butIquittedherwithoutarecollectionofthecaressesandofthewordsoflovewhichshehadfeltboundtoshoweruponmeinreturnforthesixthousandfrancswhichIleftwithher。Andyetthereweremenwhohadruinedthemselvesforthatwoman。

  FromthatdayIinflictedonMargueriteacontinualpersecution。

  Olympeandshegaveupseeingoneanother,asyoumightimagine。

  Igavemynewmistressacarriageandjewels。Igambled,I

  committedeveryextravagancewhichcouldbeexpectedofamaninlovewithsuchawomanasOlympe。Thereportofmynewinfatuationwasimmediatelyspreadabroad。

  Prudenceherselfwastakenin,andfinallythoughtthatIhadcompletelyforgottenMarguerite。Margueriteherself,whethersheguessedmymotiveorwasdeceivedlikeeverybodyelse,preservedaperfectdignityinresponsetotheinsultswhichIheapeduponherdaily。Only,sheseemedtosuffer,forwheneverImethershewasmoreandmorepale,moreandmoresad。Myloveforher,carriedtothepointatwhichitwastransformedintohatred,rejoicedatthesightofherdailysorrow。Often,whenmycrueltytowardherbecameinfamous,MargueritelifteduponmesuchappealingeyesthatIblushedforthepartIwasplaying,andwasreadytoimploreherforgiveness。

  Butmyrepentancewasonlyofamoment\'sduration,andOlympe,whohadfinallyputasideallself-respect,anddiscoveredthatbyannoyingMargueriteshecouldgetfrommewhatevershewanted,constantlystirredupmyresentmentagainsther,andinsultedherwhenevershefoundanopportunity,withthecowardlypersistenceofawomanlicensedbytheauthorityofaman。

  AtlastMargueritegaveupgoingtoballsortheatres,forfearofmeetingOlympeandme。Thendirectimpertinencesgavewaytoanonymousletters,andtherewasnotashamefulthingwhichIdidnotencouragemymistresstorelateandwhichIdidnotmyselfrelateinreferencetoMarguerite。

  ToreachsuchapointImusthavebeenliterallymad。Iwaslikeamandrunkuponbadwine,whofallsintooneofthosenervousexaltationsinwhichthehandiscapableofcommittingacrimewithouttheheadknowinganythingaboutit。InthemidstofitallIenduredamartyrdom。Thenotdisdainfulcalm,thenotcontemptuousdignitywithwhichMargueriterespondedtoallmyattacks,andwhichraisedherabovemeinmyowneyes,enragedmestillmoreagainsther。

  OneeveningOlympehadgonesomewhereorother,andhadmetMarguerite,whoforoncehadnotsparedthefoolishcreature,sothatshehadhadtoretireinconfusion。Olympereturnedinafury,andMargueritefaintedandhadtobecarriedout。Olymperelatedtomewhathadhappened,declaredthatMarguerite,seeingheralone,hadrevengedherselfuponherbecauseshewasmymistress,andthatImustwriteandtellhertorespectthewomanwhomIloved,whetherIwaspresentorabsent。

  IneednottellyouthatIconsented,andthatIputintotheletterwhichIsenttoheraddressthesameday,everythingbitter,shameful,andcruelthatIcouldthinkof。

  Thistimetheblowwasmorethantheunhappycreaturecouldendurewithoutreplying。Ifeltsurethatananswerwouldcome,andIresolvednottogooutallday。Abouttwotherewasaring,andPrudenceentered。

  ItriedtoassumeanindifferentairasIaskedherwhathadbroughther;butthatdayMme。Duvernoywasnotinalaughinghumour,andinareallymovedvoiceshesaidtomethatsincemyreturn,thatistosayforaboutthreeweeks,IhadleftnooccasionuntriedwhichcouldgivepaintoMarguerite,thatshewascompletelyupsetbyit,andthatthesceneoflastnightandmyangryletterofthemorninghadforcedhertotaketoherbed。

  Inshort,withoutmakinganyreproach,Margueritesenttoaskmeforalittlepity,sinceshehadnolongerthemoralorphysicalstrengthtoendurewhatIwasmakinghersuffer。

  \"ThatMlle。Gautier,\"IsaidtoPrudence,\"shouldturnmeoutofherownhouseisquitereasonable,butthatsheshouldinsultthewomanwhomIlove,underthepretencethatthiswomanismymistress,isathingIwillneverpermit。\"

  \"Myfriend,\"saidPrudence,\"youareundertheinfluenceofawomanwhohasneitherheartnorsense;youareinlovewithher,itistrue,butthatisnotareasonfortorturingawomanwhocannotdefendherself。\"

  \"LetMlle。GautiersendmeherComtedeN。andthesideswillbeequal。\"

  \"Youknowverywellthatshewillnotdothat。So,mydearArmand,letheralone。Ifyousawheryouwouldbeashamedofthewayinwhichyouaretreatingher。Sheiswhite,shecoughs——shewon\'tlastlongnow。\"

  AndPrudenceheldoutherhandtome,adding:

  \"Comeandseeher;itwillmakeherveryhappy。\"

  \"IhavenodesiretomeetM。deN。\"

  \"M。deN。isneverthere。Shecannotendurehim。\"

  \"IfMargueritewishestoseeme,sheknowswhereIlive;lethercometoseeme,but,formypart,IwillneverputfootintheRued\'Antin。\"

  \"Willyoureceiveherwell?\"

  \"Certainly。\"

  \"Well,Iamsurethatshewillcome。\"

  \"Lethercome。\"

  \"Shallyoubeoutto-day?\"

  \"Ishallbeathomealltheevening。\"

  \"Iwilltellher。\"

  AndPrudenceleftme。

  IdidnotevenwritetotellOlympenottoexpectme。Inevertroubledmuchabouther,scarcelygoingtoseeheronenightaweek。Sheconsoledherself,Ibelieve,withanactorfromsometheatreorother。

  Iwentoutfordinnerandcamebackalmostimmediately。IhadafirelitinmyroomandItoldJosephhecouldgoout。

  IcangiveyounoideaofthedifferentimpressionswhichagitatedmeduringthehourinwhichIwaited;butwhen,towardnineo\'clock,Iheardaring,theythrongedtogetherintoonesuchemotion,that,asIopenedthedoor,Iwasobligedtoleanagainstthewalltokeepmyselffromfalling。

  Fortunatelytheanteroomwasinhalfdarkness,andthechangeinmycountenancewaslessvisible。Margueriteentered。

  Shewasdressedinblackandveiled。Icouldscarcelyrecogniseherfacethroughtheveil。Shewentintothedrawing-roomandraisedherveil。Shewaspaleasmarble。

  \"Iamhere,Armand,\"shesaid;\"youwishedtoseemeandIhavecome。\"

  Andlettingherheadfallonherhands,sheburstintotears。

  Iwentuptoher。

  \"Whatisthematter?\"Isaidtoherinalowvoice。

  Shepressedmyhandwithoutaword,fortearsstillveiledhervoice。Butafterafewminutes,recoveringherselfalittle,shesaidtome:

  \"Youhavebeenveryunkindtome,Armand,andIhavedonenothingtoyou。\"

  \"Nothing?\"Ianswered,withabittersmile。

  \"Nothingbutwhatcircumstancesforcedmetodo。\"

  Idonotknowifyouhaveeverinyourlifeexperienced,orifyouwilleverexperience,whatIfeltatthesightofMarguerite。

  Thelasttimeshehadcometoseemeshehadsatinthesameplacewhereshewasnowsitting;only,sincethen,shehadbeenthemistressofanotherman,otherkissesthanminehadtouchedherlips,towardwhich,inspiteofmyself,myownreachedout,andyetIfeltthatIlovedthiswomanasmuch,moreperhaps,thanIhadeverlovedher。

  Itwasdifficultformetobegintheconversationonthesubjectwhichbroughther。Margueritenodoubtrealizedit,forshewenton:

  \"Ihavecometotroubleyou,Armand,forIhavetwothingstoask:pardonforwhatIsaidyesterdaytoMlle。Olympe,andpityforwhatyouareperhapsstillreadytodotome。Intentionallyornot,sinceyourreturnyouhavegivenmesomuchpainthatI

  shouldbeincapablenowofenduringafourthpartofwhatIhaveenduredtillnow。Youwillhavepityonme,won\'tyou?Andyouwillunderstandthatamanwhoisnotheartlesshasothernoblerthingstodothantotakehisrevengeuponasickandsadwomanlikeme。See,takemyhand。Iaminafever。Ileftmybedtocometoyou,andask,notforyourfriendship,butforyourindifference。\"

  ItookMarguerite\'shand。Itwasburning,andthepoorwomanshiveredunderherfurcloak。

  Irolledthearm-chairinwhichshewassittinguptothefire。

  \"Doyouthink,then,thatIdidnotsuffer,\"saidI,\"onthatnightwhen,afterwaitingforyouinthecountry,IcametolookforyouinParis,andfoundnothingbuttheletterwhichnearlydrovememad?Howcouldyouhavedeceivedme,Marguerite,whenI

  lovedyousomuch?

  \"Donotspeakofthat,Armand;Ididnotcometospeakofthat。I

  wantedtoseeyouonlynotanenemy,andIwantedtotakeyourhandoncemore。Youhaveamistress;sheisyoung,pretty,youlovehertheysay。Behappywithherandforgetme。\"

  \"Andyou。Youarehappy,nodoubt?\"

  \"HaveIthefaceofahappywoman,Armand?Donotmockmysorrow,you,whoknowbetterthananyonewhatitscauseanditsdepthare。\"

  \"Itonlydependedonyounottohavebeenunhappyatall,ifyouareasyousay。\"

  \"No,myfriend;circumstanceswerestrongerthanmywill。I

  obeyed,nottheinstinctsofalightwoman,asyouseemtosay,butaseriousnecessity,andreasonswhichyouwillknowoneday,andwhichwillmakeyouforgiveme。\"

  \"Whydoyounottellmethosereasonsto-day?\"

  \"Becausetheywouldnotbringaboutanimpossiblereunionbetweenus,andtheywouldseparateyouperhapsfromthosefromwhomyoumustnotbeseparated。\"

  \"Whodoyoumean?\"

  \"Icannottellyou。\"

  \"Thenyouarelyingtome。\"

  Margueriteroseandwenttowardthedoor。Icouldnotbeholdthissilentandexpressivesorrowwithoutbeingtouched,whenI

  comparedinmymindthispaleandweepingwomanwiththemadcapwhohadmadefunofmeattheOperaComique。

  \"Youshallnotgo,\"Isaid,puttingmyselfinfrontofthedoor。

  \"Why?\"

  \"Because,inspiteofwhatyouhavedonetome,Iloveyoualways,andIwantyoutostayhere。\"

  \"Toturnmeoutto-morrow?No;itisimpossible。Ourdestiniesareseparate;donottrytoreunitethem。Youwilldespisemeperhaps,whilenowyoucanonlyhateme。\"

  \"No,Marguerite,\"Icried,feelingallmyloveandallmydesirereawakenatthecontactofthiswoman。\"No,Iwillforgeteverything,andwewillbehappyaswepromisedoneanotherthatwewouldbe。\"

  Margueriteshookherheaddoubtfully,andsaid:

  \"AmInotyourslave,yourdog?Dowithmewhatyouwill。Takeme;Iamyours。\"

  Andthrowingoffhercloakandhat,sheflungthemonthesofa,andbeganhurriedlytoundothefrontofherdress,for,byoneofthosereactionssofrequentinhermalady,thebloodrushedtoherheadandstifledher。Ahard,drycoughfollowed。

  \"Tellmycoachman,\"shesaid,\"togobackwiththecarriage。\"

  Iwentdownmyselfandsenthimaway。WhenIreturnedMargueritewaslyinginfrontofthefire,andherteethchatteredwiththecold。

  Itookherinmyarms。Iundressedher,withouthermakingamovement,andcarriedher,icycold,tothebed。ThenIsatbesideherandtriedtowarmherwithmycaresses。Shedidnotspeakaword,butsmiledatme。

  Itwasastrangenight。AllMarguerite\'slifeseemedtohavepassedintothekisseswithwhichshecoveredme,andIlovedhersomuchthatinmytransportsoffeverishloveIaskedmyselfwhetherIshouldnotkillher,sothatshemightneverbelongtoanother。

  Amonthoflovelikethat,andtherewouldhaveremainedonlythecorpseofheartorbody。

  Thedawnfoundusbothawake。Margueritewaslividwhite。Shedidnotspeakaword。Fromtimetotime,bigtearsrolledfromhereyes,andstayeduponhercheeks,shininglikediamonds。Herthinarmsopened,fromtimetotime,toholdmefast,andfellbackhelplesslyuponthebed。

  ForamomentitseemedtomeasifIcouldforgetallthathadpassedsinceIhadleftBougival,andIsaidtoMarguerite:

  \"ShallwegoawayandleaveParis?\"

  \"No,no!\"shesaid,almostwithaffright;\"weshouldbetoounhappy。Icandonomoretomakeyouhappy,butwhilethereisabreathoflifeinme,Iwillbetheslaveofyourfancies。Atwhateverhourofthedayornightyouwill,come,andIwillbeyours;butdonotlinkyourfutureanymorewithmine,youwouldbetoounhappyandyouwouldmakemetoounhappy。Ishallstillbeprettyforawhile;makethemostofit,butasknothingmore。\"

  Whenshehadgone,Iwasfrightenedatthesolitudeinwhichsheleftme。TwohoursafterwardIwasstillsittingonthesideofthebed,lookingatthepillowwhichkepttheimprintofherform,andaskingmyselfwhatwastobecomeofme,betweenmyloveandmyjealousy。

  Atfiveo\'clock,withoutknowingwhatIwasgoingtodo,IwenttotheRued\'Antin。

  Nanineopenedtome。

  \"Madamecannotreceiveyou,\"shesaidinanembarrassedway。

  \"Why?\"

  \"BecauseM。leComtedeN。isthere,andhehasgivenorderstoletnoonein。\"

  \"Quiteso,\"Istammered;\"Iforgot。\"

  Iwenthomelikeadrunkenman,anddoyouknowwhatIdidduringthemomentofjealousdeliriumwhichwaslongenoughfortheshamefulthingIwasgoingtodo?Isaidtomyselfthatthewomanwaslaughingatme;Isawheralonewiththecount,sayingovertohimthesamewordsthatshehadsaidtomeinthenight,andtakingafive-hundred-francnoteIsentittoherwiththesewords:

  \"YouwentawaysosuddenlythatIforgottopayyou。Hereisthepriceofyournight。\"

  ThenwhentheletterwassentIwentoutasiftofreemyselffromtheinstantaneousremorseofthisinfamousaction。

  IwenttoseeOlympe,whomIfoundtryingondresses,andwhenwewerealoneshesangobscenesongstoamuseme。Shewastheverytypeoftheshameless,heartless,senselesscourtesan,formeatleast,forperhapssomemenmighthavedreamedofherasI

  dreamedofMarguerite。Sheaskedmeformoney。Igaveittoher,and,freethentogo,Ireturnedhome。

  Margueritehadnotanswered。

  IneednottellyouinwhatstateofagitationIspentthenextday。Athalfpastnineamessengerbroughtmeanenvelopecontainingmyletterandthefive-hundred-francnote,notawordmore。

  \"Whogaveyouthis?\"Iaskedtheman。

  \"AladywhowasstartingwithhermaidinthenextmailforBoulogne,andwhotoldmenottotakeituntilthecoachwasoutofthecourtyard。\"

  IrushedtotheRued\'Antin。

  \"MadameleftforEnglandatsixo\'clock,\"saidtheporter。

  TherewasnothingtoholdmeinParisanylonger,neitherhatenorlove。Iwasexhaustedbythisseriesofshocks。OneofmyfriendswassettingoutonatourintheEast。ItoldmyfatherI

  shouldliketoaccompanyhim;myfathergavemedraftsandlettersofintroduction,andeightortendaysafterwardI

  embarkedatMarseilles。

  ItwasatAlexandriathatIlearnedfromanattacheattheembassy,whomIhadsometimesseenatMarguerite\'s,thatthepoorgirlwasseriouslyill。

  Ithenwrotehertheletterwhichsheansweredinthewayyouknow;IreceiveditatToulon。

  Istartedatonce,andyouknowtherest。

  NowyouhaveonlytoreadafewsheetswhichJulieDupratgaveme;theyarethebestcommentaryonwhatIhavejusttoldyou。

  Chapter25

  Armand,tiredbythislongnarrative,ofteninterruptedbyhistears,puthistwohandsoverhisforeheadandclosedhiseyestothink,ortotrytosleep,aftergivingmethepageswrittenbythehandofMarguerite。Afewminutesafter,amorerapidbreathingtoldmethatArmandslept,butthatlightsleepwhichtheleastsoundbanishes。

  ThisiswhatIread;Icopyitwithoutaddingoromittingasyllable:

  To-dayisthe15thDecember。Ihavebeenillthreeorfourdays。

  ThismorningIstayedinbed。Theweatherisdark,Iamsad;

  thereisnoonebyme。Ithinkofyou,Armand。Andyou,whereareyou,whileIwritetheselines?FarfromParis,far,far,theytellme,andperhapsyouhavealreadyforgottenMarguerite。Well,behappy;Ioweyoutheonlyhappymomentsinmylife。

  Icannothelpwantingtoexplainallmyconducttoyou,andI

  havewrittenyoualetter;but,writtenbyagirllikeme,suchalettermightseemtobealie,unlessdeathhadsanctifieditbyitsauthority,and,insteadofaletter,itwereaconfession。

  To-dayIamill;Imaydieofthisillness,forIhavealwayshadthepresentimentthatIshalldieyoung。Mymotherdiedofconsumption,andthewayIhavealwayslivedcouldbutincreasetheonlyheritagesheeverleftme。ButIdonotwanttodiewithoutclearingupforyoueverythingaboutme;thatis,if,whenyoucomeback,youwillstilltroubleyourselfaboutthepoorgirlwhomyoulovedbeforeyouwentaway。

  Thisiswhatthelettercontained;Ishalllikewritingitoveragain,soastogivemyselfanotherproofofmyownjustification。

  Youremember,Armand,howthearrivalofyourfathersurprisedusatBougival;youremembertheinvoluntaryfrightthathisarrivalcausedme,andthescenewhichtookplacebetweenyouandhim,whichyoutoldmeofintheevening。

  Nextday,whenyouwereatParis,waitingforyourfather,andhedidnotreturn,amancametothedoorandhandedinaletterfromM。Duval。

  Hisletter,whichIinclosewiththis,beggedme,inthemostseriousterms,tokeepyouawayonthefollowingday,onsomeexcuseorother,andtoseeyourfather,whowishedtospeaktome,andaskedmeparticularlynottosayanythingtoyouaboutit。

  YouknowhowIinsistedonyourreturningtoParisnextday。

  Youhadonlybeengoneanhourwhenyourfatherpresentedhimself。Iwon\'tsaywhatimpressionhisseverefacemadeuponme。Yourfatherhadtheoldtheorythatacourtesanisabeingwithoutheartorreason,asortofmachineforcoininggold,alwaysready,likethemachine,tobruisethehandthatgiveshereverything,andtotearinpieces,withoutpityordiscernment,thosewhosetherinmotion。

  Yourfatherhadwrittenmeaverypoliteletter,inorderthatI

  mightconsenttoseehim;hedidnotpresenthimselfquiteashehadwritten。Hismanneratfirstwassostiff,insolent,andeventhreatening,thatIhadtomakehimunderstandthatIwasinmyownhouse,andthatIhadnoneedtorenderhimanaccountofmylife,exceptbecauseofthesincereaffectionwhichIhadforhisson。

  M。Duvalcalmeddownalittle,butstillwentontosaythathecouldnotanylongerallowhissontoruinhimselfoverme;thatIwasbeautiful,itwastrue,but,howeverbeautifulImightbe,IoughtnottomakeuseofmybeautytospoilthefutureofayoungmanbysuchexpenditureasIwascausing。

  Atthattherewasonlyonethingtodo,toshowhimtheproofthatsinceIwasyourmistressIhadsparednosacrificetobefaithfultoyouwithoutaskingformoremoneythanyouhadtogiveme。Ishowedhimthepawntickets,thereceiptsofthepeopletowhomIhadsoldwhatIcouldnotpawn;Itoldhimofmyresolvetopartwithmyfurnitureinordertopaymydebts,andlivewithyouwithoutbeingatooheavyexpense。Itoldhimofourhappiness,ofhowyouhadshownmethepossibilityofaquieterandhappierlife,andheendedbygivingintotheevidence,offeringmehishand,andaskingpardonforthewayinwhichhehadatfirstapproachedme。

  Thenhesaidtome:

  \"So,madame,itisnotbyremonstrancesorbythreats,butbyentreaties,thatImustendeavourtoobtainfromyouagreatersacrificethanyouhaveyetmadeformyson。\"

  Itrembledatthisbeginning。

  Yourfathercameovertome,tookbothmyhands,andcontinuedinanaffectionatevoice:

  \"Mychild,donottakewhatIhavetosaytoyouamiss;onlyrememberthattherearesometimesinlifecruelnecessitiesfortheheart,butthattheymustbesubmittedto。Youaregood,yoursoulhasgenerosityunknowntomanywomenwhoperhapsdespiseyou,andarelessworthythanyou。Butrememberthatthereisnotonlythemistress,butthefamily;thatbesideslovethereareduties;thattotheageofpassionsucceedstheagewhenman,ifheistoberespected,mustplanthimselfsolidlyinaseriousposition。Mysonhasnofortune,andyetheisreadytoabandontoyouthelegacyofhismother。Ifheacceptedfromyouthesacrificewhichyouareonthepointofmaking,hishonouranddignitywouldrequirehimtogiveyou,inexchangeforit,thisincome,whichwouldalwaysputyououtofdangerofadversity。

  Buthecannotacceptthissacrifice,becausetheworld,whichdoesnotknowyou,wouldgiveawronginterpretationtothisacceptance,andsuchaninterpretationmustnottarnishthenamewhichwebear。NoonewouldconsiderwhetherArmandlovesyou,whetheryoulovehim,whetherthismutuallovemeanshappinesstohimandredemptiontoyou;theywouldseeonlyonething,thatArmandDuvalallowedakeptwoman(forgiveme,mychild,forwhatIamforcedtosaytoyou)tosellallshehadforhim。Thenthedayofreproachesandregretswouldarrive,besure,foryouorforothers,andyouwouldbothbearachainthatyoucouldnotsever。Whatwouldyoudothen?Youryouthwouldbelost,myson\'sfuturedestroyed;andI,hisfather,shouldreceivefromonlyoneofmychildrentherecompensethatIlookforfromboth。

  \"Youareyoung,beautiful,lifewillconsoleyou;youarenoble,andthememoryofagooddeedwillredeemyoufrommanypastdeeds。DuringthesixmonthsthathehasknownyouArmandhasforgottenme。Iwrotetohimfourtimes,andhehasneveroncereplied。Imighthavediedandhenotknownit!

  \"Whatevermaybeyourresolutionoflivingotherwisethanasyouhavelived,Armand,wholovesyou,willneverconsenttotheseclusiontowhichhismodestfortunewouldcondemnyou,andtowhichyourbeautydoesnotentitleyou。Whoknowswhathewoulddothen!Hehasgambled,Iknow;withouttellingyouofit,I

  knowalso,but,inamomentofmadness,hemighthavelostpartofwhatIhavesaved,duringmanyyears,formydaughter\'sportion,forhim,andforthereposeofmyoldage。Whatmighthavehappenedmayyethappen。

  \"Areyousure,besides,thatthelifewhichyouaregivingupforhimwillneveragaincometoattractyou?Areyousure,youwhohavelovedhim,thatyouwillneverloveanother?Wouldyounot-sufferonseeingthehindrancessetbyyourlovetoyourlover\'slife,hindrancesforwhichyouwouldbepowerlesstoconsolehim,if,withage,thoughtsofambitionshouldsucceedtodreamsoflove?Thinkoverallthat,madame。YouloveArmand;

  proveittohimbythesolemeanswhichremainstoyouofyetprovingittohim,bysacrificingyourlovetohisfuture。Nomisfortunehasyetarrived,butonewillarrive,andperhapsagreateronethanthosewhichIforesee。Armandmightbecomejealousofamanwhohaslovedyou;hemightprovokehim,fight,bekilled。Think,then,whatyouwouldsufferinthepresenceofafatherwhoshouldcallonyoutorenderanaccountforthelifeofhisson!

  \"Finally,mydearchild,letmetellyouall,forIhavenotyettoldyouall,letmetellyouwhathasbroughtmetoParis。I

  haveadaughter,asIhavetoldyou,young,beautiful,pureasanangel。Sheloves,andshe,too,hasmadethislovethedreamofherlife。IwroteallthattoArmand,but,absorbedinyou,hemadenoreply。Well,mydaughterisabouttomarry。Sheistomarrythemanwhomsheloves;sheentersanhonourablefamily,whichrequiresthatminehastobenolesshonourable。Thefamilyofthemanwhoistobecomemyson-in-lawhaslearnedwhatmanneroflifeArmandisleadinginParis,andhasdeclaredtomethatthemarriagemustbebrokenoffifArmandcontinuesthislife。

  Thefutureofachildwhohasdonenothingagainstyou,andwhohastherightoflookingforwardtoahappyfuture,isinyourhands。Haveyoutheright,haveyouthestrength,toshatterit?

  Inthenameofyourloveandofyourrepentance,Marguerite,grantmethehappinessofmychild。\"

  Iweptsilently,myfriend,atallthesereflectionswhichIhadsooftenmade,andwhich,inthemouthofyourfather,tookayetmoreseriousreality。Isaidtomyselfallthatyourfatherdarednotsaytome,thoughithadcometohislipstwentytimes:thatIwas,afterall,onlyakeptwoman,andthatwhateverexcuseI

  gaveforourliaison,itwouldalwayslooklikecalculationonmypart;thatmypastlifeleftmenorighttodreamofsuchafuture,andthatIwasacceptingresponsibilitiesforwhichmyhabitsandreputationwerefarfromgivinganyguarantee。Inshort,Ilovedyou,Armand。

  ThepaternalwayinwhichM。Duvalhadspokentome;thepurememoriesthatheawakenedinme;therespectofthisoldman,whichIwouldgain;yours,whichIwassureofgaininglateron:

  allthatcalledupinmyheartthoughtswhichraisedmeinmyowneyeswithasortofholypride,unknowntillthen。WhenIthoughtthatonedaythisoldman,whowasnowimploringmeforthefutureofhisson,wouldbidhisdaughterminglemynamewithherprayers,asthenameofamysteriousfriend,Iseemedtobecometransformed,andIfeltaprideinmyself。

  Theexaltationofthemomentperhapsexaggeratedthetruthoftheseimpressions,butthatwaswhatIfelt,friend,andthesenewfeelingssilencedthememoryofthehappydaysIhadspentwithyou。

  \"Tellme,sir,\"Isaidtoyourfather,wipingawaymytears,\"doyoubelievethatIloveyourson?\"

  \"Yes,\"saidM。Duval。

  \"Withadisinterestedlove?\"

  \"Yes。

  \"DoyoubelievethatIhadmadethislovethehope,thedream,theforgiveness——ofmylife?\"

  \"Implicitly。\"

  \"Well,sir,embracemeonce,asyouwouldembraceyourdaughter,andIsweartoyouthatthatkiss,theonlychastekissIhaveeverhad,willmakemestrongagainstmylove,andthatwithinaweekyoursonwillbeoncemoreatyourside,perhapsunhappyforatime,butcuredforever。\"

  \"Youareanoblechild,\"repliedyourfather,kissingmeontheforehead,\"andyouaremakinganattemptforwhichGodwillrewardyou;butIgreatlyfearthatyouwillhavenoinfluenceuponmyson。\"

  \"Oh,beatrest,sir;hewillhateme。\"

  Ihadtosetupbetweenus,asmuchformeasforyou,aninsurmountablebarrier。

  IwrotetoPrudencetosaythatIacceptedthepropositionoftheComtedeN。,andthatshewastotellhimthatIwouldsupwithherandhim。Isealedtheletter,and,withouttellinghimwhatitcontained,askedyourfathertohaveitforwardedtoitsaddressonreachingParis。

  Heinquiredofmewhatitcontained。

  \"Yourson\'swelfare,\"Ianswered。

  Yourfatherembracedmeoncemore。Ifelttwogratefultearsonmyforehead,likethebaptismofmypastfaults,andatthemomentwhenIconsentedtogivemyselfuptoanothermanIglowedwithprideatthethoughtofwhatIwasredeemingbythisnewfault。

  Itwasquitenatural,Armand。Youtoldmethatyourfatherwasthemosthonestmanintheworld。

  M。Duvalreturnedtohiscarriage,andsetoutforParis。

  Iwasonlyawoman,andwhenIsawyouagainIcouldnothelpweeping,butIdidnotgiveway。

  DidIdoright?ThatiswhatIaskmyselfto-day,asIlieillinmybed,thatIshallneverleave,perhaps,untilIamdead。

  YouarewitnessofwhatIfeltasthehourofourseparationapproached;yourfatherwasnolongertheretosupportme,andtherewasamomentwhenIwasonthepointofconfessingeverythingtoyou,soterrifiedwasIattheideathatyouweregoingtobateanddespiseme。

  Onethingwhichyouwillnotbelieve,perhaps,Armand,isthatI

  prayedGodtogivemestrength;andwhatprovesthatheacceptedmysacrificeisthathegavemethestrengthforwhichIprayed。

  AtsupperIstillhadneedofaid,forIcouldnotthinkofwhatIwasgoingtodo,somuchdidIfearthatmycouragewouldfailme。WhowouldeverhavesaidthatI,MargueriteGautier,wouldhavesufferedsoatthemerethoughtofanewlover?Idrankforforgetfulness,andwhenIwokenextdayIwasbesidethecount。

  Thatisthewholetruth,friend。judgemeandpardonme,asI

  havepardonedyouforallthewrongthatyouhavedonemesincethatday。

  Chapter26

  WhatfollowedthatfatalnightyouknowaswellasI;butwhatyoucannotknow,whatyoucannotsuspect,iswhatIhavesufferedsinceourseparation。

  Iheardthatyourfatherhadtakenyouawaywithhim,butIfeltsurethatyoucouldnotliveawayfrommeforlong,andwhenI

  metyouintheChamps-Elysees,Iwasalittleupset,butbynomeanssurprised。

  Thenbeganthatseriesofdays;eachofthembroughtmeafreshinsultfromyou。Ireceivedthemallwithakindofjoy,for,besidesprovingtomethatyoustilllovedme,itseemedtomeasifthemoreyoupersecutedmethemoreIshouldberaisedinyoureyeswhenyoucametoknowthetruth。

  Donotwonderatmyjoyinmartyrdom,Armand;yourloveformehadopenedmyhearttonobleenthusiasm。

  Still,Iwasnotsostrongasthatquiteatonce。

  Betweenthetimeofthesacrificemadeforyouandthetimeofyourreturnalongwhileelapsed,duringwhichIwasobligedtohaverecoursetophysicalmeansinordernottogomad,andinordertobeblindedanddeafenedinthewhirloflifeintowhichIflungmyself。Prudencehastoldyou(hasshenot?)howIwenttoallthefetesandballsandorgies。IhadasortofhopethatIshouldkillmyselfbyalltheseexcesses,andIthinkitwillnotbelongbeforethishopeisrealized。Myhealthnaturallygotworseandworse,andwhenIsentMme。DuvernoytoaskyouforpityIwasutterlywornout,bodyandsoul。

  Iwillnotremindyou,Armand,ofthereturnyoumadeforthelastproofoflovethatIgaveyou,andoftheoutragebywhichyoudroveawayadyingwoman,whocouldnotresistyourvoicewhenyouaskedherforanightoflove,andwho,likeafool,thoughtforoneinstantthatshemightagainunitethepastwiththepresent。Youhadtherighttodowhatyoudid,Armand;peoplehavenotalwaysputsohighapriceonanightofmine!

  Ilefteverythingafterthat。OlympehastakenmyplacewiththeComtedeN。,andhastoldhim,Ihear,thereasonsformyleavinghim。TheComtedeG。wasatLondon。Heisoneofthosemenwhogivejustenoughimportancetomakinglovetowomenlikemeforittobeanagreeablepastime,andwhoarethusabletoremainfriendswithwomen,nothatingthembecausetheyhaveneverbeenjealousofthem,andheis,too,oneofthosegrandseigneurswhoopenonlyapartoftheirheartstous,butthewholeoftheirpurses。ItwasofhimthatIimmediatelythought。IjoinedhiminLondon。Hereceivedmeaskindlyaspossible,buthewastheloverthereofawomaninsociety,andhefearedtocompromisehimselfifhewereseenwithme。Heintroducedmetohisfriends,whogaveasupperinmyhonour,afterwhichoneofthemtookmehomewithhim。

  Whatelsewasthereformetodo,myfriend?IfIhadkilledmyselfitwouldhaveburdenedyourlife,whichoughttobehappy,withaneedlessremorse;andthen,whatisthegoodofkillingoneselfwhenoneissoneardyingalready?

  Ibecameabodywithoutasoul,athingwithoutathought;I

  livedforsometimeinthatautomaticway;thenIreturnedtoParis,andaskedafteryou;Iheardthenthatyouweregoneonalongvoyage。Therewasnothinglefttoholdmetolife。MyexistencebecamewhatithadbeentwoyearsbeforeIknewyou。I

  triedtowinbacktheduke,butIhadoffendedhimtoodeeply。

  Oldmenarenotpatient,nodoubtbecausetheyrealizethattheyarenoteternal。Igotweakereveryday。Iwaspaleandsadandthinnerthanever。Menwhobuyloveexaminethegoodsbeforetakingthem。AtParistherewerewomeninbetterhealth,andnotsothinasIwas;Iwasratherforgotten。Thatisallthepastuptoyesterday。

  NowIamseriouslyill。Ihavewrittentotheduketoaskhimformoney,forIhavenone,andthecreditorshavereturned,andcometomewiththeirbillswithpitilessperseverance。Willthedukeanswer?WhyareyounotinParis,Armand?Youwouldcomeandseeme,andyourvisitswoulddomegood。

  December20。

  Theweatherishorrible;itissnowing,andIamalone。IhavebeeninsuchafeverforthelastthreedaysthatIcouldnotwriteyouaword。Nonews,myfriend;everydayIhopevaguelyforaletterfromyou,butitdoesnotcome,andnodoubtitwillnevercome。Onlymenarestrongenoughnottoforgive。Thedukehasnotanswered。

  Prudenceispawningmythingsagain。

  Ihavebeenspittingbloodallthetime。Oh,youwouldbesorryformeifyoucouldseeme。Youareindeedhappytobeunderawarmsky,andnot,likeme,withawholewinteroficeonyourchest。To-dayIgotupforalittlewhile,andlookedoutthroughthecurtainsofmywindow,andwatchedthelifeofParispassingbelow,thelifewithwhichIhavenownothingmoretodo。IsawthefacesofsomepeopleIknew,passingrapidly,joyousandcareless。Notoneliftedhiseyestomywindow。However,afewyoungmenhavecometoinquireforme。OncebeforeIwasill,andyou,thoughyoudidnotknowme,thoughyouhadhadnothingfrommebutanimpertinencethedayImetyoufirst,youcametoinquireaftermeeveryday。Wespentsixmonthstogether。Ihadalltheloveforyouthatawoman\'sheartcanholdandgive,andyouarefaraway,youarecursingme,andthereisnotawordofconsolationfromyou。Butitisonlychancethathasmadeyouleaveme,Iamsure,forifyouwereatParis,youwouldnotleavemybedside。

  December25。

  MydoctortellsmeImustnotwriteeveryday。Andindeedmymemoriesonlyincreasemyfever,butyesterdayIreceivedaletterwhichdidmegood,morebecauseofwhatitsaidthanbythematerialhelpwhichitcontained。Icanwritetoyou,then,to-day。Thisletterisfromyourfather,andthisiswhatitsays:

  \"MADAME:Ihavejustlearnedthatyouareill。IfIwereatParisIwouldcomeandaskafteryoumyself;ifmysonwerehereI

  wouldsendhim;butIcannotleaveC。,andArmandissixorsevenhundredleaguesfromhere;permitme,then,simplytowritetoyou,madame,totellyouhowpainedIamtohearofyourillness,andbelieveinmysincerewishesforyourspeedyrecovery。

  Oneofmygoodfriends,M。H。,willcallonyou;willyoukindlyreceivehim?Ihaveintrustedhimwithacommission,theresultofwhichIawaitimpatiently。\"Believeme,madame,\"Yoursmostfaithfully。\"

  Thisistheletterhesentme。Yourfatherhasanobleheart;

  lovehimwell,myfriend,fortherearefewmensoworthyofbeingloved。Thispapersignedbyhisnamehasdonememoregoodthanalltheprescriptionsofourgreatdoctor。

  ThismorningM。H。called。HeseemedmuchembarrassedbythedelicatemissionwhichM。Duvalhadintrustedtohim。Asamatteroffact,hecametobringmethreethousandfrancsfromyourfather。Iwantedtorefuseatfirst,butM。H。toldmethatmyrefusalwouldannoyM。Duval,whohadauthorizedhimtogivemethissumnow,andlateronwhateverImightneed。Iacceptedit,for,comingfromyourfather,itcouldnotbeexactlytakingalms。IfIamdeadwhenyoucomeback,showyourfatherwhatI

  havewrittenforhim,andtellhimthatinwritingtheselinesthepoorwomantowhomhewaskindenoughtowritesoconsolingaletterwepttearsofgratitudeandprayedGodforhim。

  January4。

  Ihavepassedsometerribledays。Ineverknewthebodycouldsufferso。Oh,mypastlife!Ipaydoubleforitnow。

  Therehasbeensomeonetowatchbymeeverynight;Icannotbreathe。Whatremainsofmypoorexistenceissharedbetweenbeingdeliriousandcoughing。

  Thedining-roomisfullofsweetsandallsortsofpresentsthatmyfriendshavebrought。Someofthem,Idaresay,arehopingthatIshallbetheirmistresslateron。Iftheycouldseewhatsicknesshasmadeofme,theywouldgoawayinterror。

  PrudenceisgivingherNewYear\'spresentswiththoseIhavereceived。

  Thereisathaw,andthedoctorsaysthatImaygooutinafewdaysifthefineweathercontinues。

  January8。

  Iwentoutyesterdayinmycarriage。Theweatherwaslovely。TheChamps-Elyseeswasfullofpeople。Itwaslikethefirstsmileofspring。Everythingaboutmehadafestalair。Ineverknewbeforethatarayofsunshinecouldcontainsomuchjoy,sweetness,andconsolation。

  ImetalmostallthepeopleIknew,allhappy,allabsorbedintheirpleasures。Howmanyhappypeopledon\'tevenknowthattheyarehappy!OlympepassedmeinanelegantcarriagethatM。deN。

  hasgivenher。Shetriedtoinsultmebyherlook。ShelittleknowshowfarIamfromsuchthingsnow。Anicefellow,whomI

  haveknownforalongtime,askedmeifIwouldhavesupperwithhimandoneofhisfriends,who,hesaid,wasveryanxioustomakemyacquaintance。Ismiledsadlyandgavehimmyhand,burningwithfever。Ineversawsuchanastonishedcountenance。

  Icameinatfour,andhadquiteanappetiteformydinner。Goingouthasdonemegood。IfIwereonlygoingtogetwell!Howthesightofthelifeandhappinessofothersgivesadesireoflifetothosewho,onlythenightbefore,inthesolitudeoftheirsoulandintheshadowoftheirsick-room,onlywantedtodiesoon!

  January10。

  Thehopeofgettingbetterwasonlyadream。Iambackinbedagain,coveredwithplasterswhichburnme。IfIweretoofferthebodythatpeoplepaidsodearforonce,howmuchwouldtheygive,Iwonder,to-day?

  Wemusthavedonesomethingverywickedbeforewewereborn,orelsewemustbegoingtobeveryhappyindeedwhenwearedead,forGodtoletthislifehaveallthetorturesofexpiationandallthesorrowsofanordeal。

  January12。

  Iamalwaysill。

  TheComtedeN。sentmesomemoneyyesterday。Ididnotkeepit。

  Iwon\'ttakeanythingfromthatman。Itisthroughhimthatyouarenothere。

  Oh,thatgoodtimeatBougival!Whereisitnow?

  IfIcomeoutofthisroomaliveIwillmakeapilgrimagetothehousewelivedintogether,butIwillneverleaveituntilIamdead。

  WhoknowsifIshallwritetoyouto-morrow?

  January25。

  Ihavenotsleptforelevennights。Iamsuffocated。IimagineeverymomentthatIamgoingtodie。Thedoctorhasforbiddenmetotouchapen。JulieDuprat,whoislookingafterme,letsmewritethesefewlinestoyou。WillyounotcomebackbeforeI

  die?Isitalloverbetweenusforever?ItseemstomeasifI

  shouldgetwellifyoucame。Whatwouldbethegoodofgettingwell?

  January28。

  ThismorningIwasawakenedbyagreatnoise。Julie,whosleptinmyroom,ranintothedining-room。Iheardmen\'svoices,andhersprotestingagainsttheminvain。Shecamebackcrying。

  Theyhadcometoseizemythings。Itoldhertoletwhattheycalljusticehaveitsway。Thebailiffcameintomyroomwithhishaton。Heopenedthedrawers,wrotedownwhathesaw,anddidnotevenseemtobeawarethattherewasadyingwomaninthebedthatfortunatelythecharityofthelawleavesme。

  Hesaid,indeed,beforegoing,thatIcouldappealwithinninedays,butheleftamanbehindtokeepwatch。MyGod!whatistobecomeofme?ThisscenehasmademeworsethanIwasbefore。

  Prudencewantedtogoandaskyourfather\'sfriendformoney,butIwouldnotlether。

  Ireceivedyourletterthismorning。Iwasinneedofit。Willmyanswerreachyouintime?Willyoueverseemeagain?Thisisahappyday,andithasmademeforgetallthedaysIhavepassedforthelastsixweeks。IseemasifIambetter,inspiteofthefeelingofsadnessundertheimpressionofwhichIrepliedtoyou。

  Afterall,nooneisunhappyalways。

  WhenIthinkthatitmayhappentomenottodie,foryoutocomeback,formetoseethespringagain,foryoustilltoloveme,andforustobeginoveragainourlastyear\'slife!

  FoolthatIam!IcanscarcelyholdthepenwithwhichIwritetoyouofthiswilddreamofmyheart。

  Whateverhappens,Ilovedyouwell,Armand,andIwouldhavediedlongagoifIhadnothadthememoryofyourlovetohelpmeandasortofvaguehopeofseeingyoubesidemeagain。

  February4。

  TheComtedeG。hasreturned。Hismistresshasbeenunfaithfultohim。Heisverysad;hewasveryfondofher。Hecametotellmeallaboutit。Thepoorfellowisinratherabadwayastomoney;

  allthesame,hehaspaidmybailiffandsentawaytheman。

  Italkedtohimaboutyou,andhepromisedtotellyouaboutme。

  IforgotthatIhadbeenhismistress,andhetriedtomakemeforgetit,too。Heisagoodfriend。

  Thedukesentyesterdaytoinquireafterme,andthismorninghecametoseeme。Idonotknowhowtheoldmanstillkeepsalive。

  Heremainedwithmethreehoursanddidnotsaytwentywords。TwobigtearsfellfromhiseyeswhenhesawhowpaleIwas。Thememoryofhisdaughter\'sdeathmadehimweep,nodoubt。Hewillhaveseenherdietwice。Hisbackwasbowed,hisheadbenttowardtheground,hislipsdrooping,hiseyesvacant。Ageandsorrowweighwithadoubleweightonhisworn-outbody。Hedidnotreproachme。Itlookedasifherejoicedsecretlytoseetheravagesthatdiseasehadmadeinme。Heseemedproudofbeingstillonhisfeet,whileI,whoamstillyoung,wasbrokendownbysuffering。

  Thebadweatherhasreturned。Noonecomestoseeme。Juliewatchesbymeasmuchasshecan。Prudence,towhomIcannolongergiveasmuchasIusedto,beginstomakeexcusesfornotcoming。

  NowthatIamsoneardeath,inspiteofwhatthedoctorstellme,forIhaveseveral,whichprovesthatIamgettingworse,I

  amalmostsorrythatIlistenedtoyourfather;ifIhadknownthatIshouldonlybetakingayearofyourfuture,Icouldnothaveresistedthelongingtospendthatyearwithyou,and,atleast,Ishouldhavediedwithafriendtoholdmyhand。Itistruethatifwehadlivedtogetherthisyear,Ishouldnothavediedsosoon。

  God\'swillbedone!

  February5。

  Oh,come,come,Armand!Isufferhorribly;Iamgoingtodie,O

  God!IwassomiserableyesterdaythatIwantedtospendtheevening,whichseemedasifitweregoingtobeaslongasthelast,anywherebutathome。Thedukecameinthemorning。Itseemstomeasifthesightofthisoldman,whomdeathhasforgotten,makesmediefaster。

  Despitetheburningfeverwhichdevouredme,ImadethemdressmeandtakemetotheVaudeville。Julieputonsomerougeforme,withoutwhichIshouldhavelookedlikeacorpse。IhadtheboxwhereIgaveyouourfirstrendezvous。AllthetimeIhadmyeyesfixedonthestallwhereyousatthatday,thoughasortofcountryfellowsatthere,laughingloudlyatallthefoolishthingsthattheactorssaid。Iwashalfdeadwhentheybroughtmehome。Icoughedandspatbloodallthenight。To-dayIcannotspeak,Icanscarcelymovemyarm。MyGod!MyGod!Iamgoingtodie!Ihavebeenexpectingit,butIcannotgetusedtothethoughtofsufferingmorethanIsuffernow,andif——

  AfterthisthefewcharacterstracedbyMargueritewereindecipherable,andwhatfollowedwaswrittenbyJulieDuprat。

  February18。

  MONSIEURARMAND:

  SincethedaythatMargueriteinsistedongoingtothetheatreshehasgotworseandworse。Shehascompletelylosthervoice,andnowtheuseofherlimbs。

  Whatourpoorfriendsuffersisimpossibletosay。Iamnotusedtoemotionsofthiskind,andIaminastateofconstantfright。

  HowIwishyouwerehere!Sheisalmostalwaysdelirious;butdeliriousorlucid,itisalwaysyournamethatshepronounces,whenshecanspeakaword。

  Thedoctortellsmethatsheisnothereforlong。Sinceshegotsoilltheolddukehasnotreturned。Hetoldthedoctorthatthesightwastoomuchforhim。

  Mme。Duvernoyisnotbehavingwell。Thiswoman,whothoughtshecouldgetmoremoneyoutofMarguerite,atwhoseexpenseshewaslivingalmostcompletely,hascontractedliabilitieswhichshecannotmeet,andseeingthatherneighbourisnolongerofusetoher,shedoesnotevencometoseeher。Everybodyisabandoningher。M。deG。,prosecutedforhisdebts,hashadtoreturntoLondon。Onleaving,hesentusmoremoney;hehasdoneallhecould,buttheyhavereturnedtoseizethethings,andthecreditorsareonlywaitingforhertodieinordertoselleverything。

  Iwantedtousemylastresourcestoputastoptoit,butthebailifftoldmeitwasnouse,andthatthereareotherseizurestofollow。Sinceshemustdie,itisbettertoleteverythinggothantosaveitforherfamily,whomshehasnevercaredtosee,andwhohavenevercaredforher。Youcannotconceiveinthemidstofwhatgildedmiserythepoorthingisdying。Yesterdaywehadabsolutelynomoney。Plate,jewels,shawls,everythingisinpawn;therestissoldorseized。Margueriteisstillconsciousofwhatgoesonaroundher,andshesuffersinbody,mind,andheart。Bigtearstrickledownhercheeks,sothinandpalethatyouwouldneverrecognisethefaceofherwhomyoulovedsomuch,ifyoucouldseeher。Shehasmademepromisetowritetoyouwhenshecannolongerwrite,andIwritebeforeher。Sheturnshereyestowardme,butshenolongerseesme;hereyesarealreadyveiledbythecomingofdeath;yetshesmiles,andallherthoughts,allhersoulareyours,Iamsure。

  Everytimethedooropenshereyesbrighten,andshethinksyouaregoingtocomein;then,whensheseesthatitisnotyou,herfaceresumesitssorrowfulexpression,acoldsweatbreaksoutoverit,andhercheek-bonesflush。

  February19,midnight。

  Whatasaddaywehavehadto-day,poorM。Armand!ThismorningMargueritewasstifling;thedoctorbledher,andhervoicehasreturnedtoherawhile。Thedoctorbeggedhertoseeapriest。

  Shesaid\"Yes,\"andhewenthimselftofetchanabbe\'fromSaintRoch。

  MeanwhileMargueritecalledmeuptoherbed,askedmetoopenacupboard,andpointedoutacapandalongchemisecoveredwithlace,andsaidinafeeblevoice:

  \"IshalldieassoonasIhaveconfessed。Thenyouwilldressmeinthesethings;itisthewhimofadyingwoman。?

  Thensheembracedmewithtearsandadded:

  \"Icanspeak,butIamstifledwhenIspeak;Iamstifling。Air!\"

  Iburstintotears,openedthewindow,andafewminutesafterwardthepriestentered。Iwentuptohim;whenheknewwherehewas,heseemedafraidofbeingbadlyreceived。

  \"Comeinboldly,father,\"Isaidtohim。

  Hestayedaveryshorttimeintheroom,andwhenhecameouthesaidtome:

  \"Shelivedasinner,andshewilldieaChristian。\"

  Afewminutesafterwardhereturnedwithachoirboybearingacrucifix,andasacristanwhowentbeforethemringingthebelltoannouncethatGodwascomingtothedyingone。

  Theywentallthreeintothebed-roomwheresomanystrangewordshavebeensaid,butwasnowasortofholytabernacle。

  Ifellonmyknees。IdonotknowhowlongtheimpressionofwhatIsawwilllast,butIdonotthinkthat,tillmyturncomes,anyhumanthingcanmakesodeepanimpressiononme。

  Thepriestanointedwithholyoilthefeetandhandsandforeheadofthedyingwoman,repeatedashortprayer,andMargueritewasreadytosetoutfortheheaventowhichIdoubtnotshewillgo,ifGodhasseentheordealofherlifeandthesanctityofherdeath。

  Sincethenshehasnotsaidawordormadeamovement。TwentytimesIshouldhavethoughtherdeadifIhadnotheardherbreathingpainfully。

  February20,5P。M。

  Allisover。

  Margueritefellintoherlastagonyatabouttwoo\'clock。Neverdidamartyrsuffersuchtorture,tojudgebythecriessheuttered。Twoorthreetimesshesatuprightinthebed,asifshewouldholdontoherlife,whichwasescapingtowardGod。

  Twoorthreetimesalsoshesaidyourname;thenallwassilent,andshefellbackonthebedexhausted。Silenttearsflowedfromhereyes,andshewasdead。

  ThenIwentuptoher;Icalledher,andasshedidnotanswerI

  closedhereyesandkissedherontheforehead。

  Poor,dearMarguerite,IwishIwereaholywomanthatmykissmightrecommendyoutoGod。

  ThenIdressedherasshehadaskedmetodo。IwenttofindapriestatSaintRoch,Iburnedtwocandlesforher,andIprayedinthechurchforanhour。

  Igavethemoneyshelefttothepoor。

  Idonotknowmuchaboutreligion,butIthinkthatGodwillknowthatmytearsweregenuine,myprayersfervent,myalms-givingsincere,andthathewillhavepityonherwho,dyingyoungandbeautiful,hasonlyhadmetoclosehereyesandputherinhershroud。

  February22。

  Theburialtookplaceto-day。ManyofMarguerite\'sfriendscametothechurch。Someofthemweptwithsincerity。WhenthefuneralstartedonthewaytoMontmartreonlytwomenfollowedit:theComtedeG。,whocamefromLondononpurpose,andtheduke,whowassupportedbytwofootmen。

  Iwriteyouthesedetailsfromherhouse,inthemidstofmytearsandunderthelampwhichburnssadlybesideadinnerwhichIcannottouch,asyoucanimagine,butwhichNaninehasgotforme,forIhaveeatennothingfortwenty-fourhours。

  Mylifecannotretainthesesadimpressionsforlong,formylifeisnotmyownanymorethanMarguerite\'swashers;thatiswhyIgiveyouallthesedetailsontheveryspotwheretheyoccurred,inthefear,ifalongtimeelapsedbetweenthemandyourreturn,thatImightnotbeabletogivethemtoyouwithalltheirmelancholyexactitude。

  Chapter27

  \"Youhavereadit?\"saidArmand,whenIhadfinishedthemanuscript。

  \"Iunderstandwhatyoumusthavesuffered,myfriend,ifallthatIreadistrue。\"

  \"Myfatherconfirmeditinaletter。\"

  Wetalkedforsometimeoverthesaddestinywhichhadbeenaccomplished,andIwenthometorestalittle。

  Armand,stillsad,butalittlerelievedbythenarrationofhisstory,soonrecovered,andwewenttogethertopayavisittoPrudenceandtoJulieDuprat。

  Prudencehadbecomebankrupt。ShetoldusthatMargueritewasthecauseofit;thatduringherillnessshehadlentheralotofmoneyintheformofpromissorynotes,whichshecouldnotpay,Margueritehavingdiedwithouthavingreturnedherthemoney,andwithouthavinggivenherareceiptwithwhichshecouldpresentherselfasacreditor。

  Bythehelpofthisfable,whichMme。Duvernoyrepeatedeverywhereinordertoaccountforhermoneydifficulties,sheextractedanoteforathousandfrancsfromArmand,whodidnotbelieveit,butwhopretendedto,outofrespectforallthoseinwhosecompanyMargueritehadlived。

  ThenwecalledonJulieDuprat,whotoldusthesadincidentwhichshehadwitnessed,sheddingrealtearsattheremembranceofherfriend。

  Lastly,wewenttoMarguerite\'sgrave,onwhichthefirstraysoftheAprilsunwerebringingthefirstleavesintobud。

  OnedutyremainedtoArmand——toreturntohisfather。Hewishedmetoaccompanyhim。

  WearrivedatC。,whereIsawM。Duval,suchasIhadimaginedhimfromtheportraithissonhadmadeofhim,tall,dignified,kindly。

  HewelcomedArmandwithtearsofjoy,andclaspedmyhandaffectionately。Iwasnotlonginseeingthatthepaternalsentimentwasthatwhichdominatedallothersinhismind。

  Hisdaughter,namedBlanche,hadthattransparenceofeyes,thatserenityofthemouth,whichindicatesasoulthatconceivesonlyholythoughtsandlipsthatrepeatonlypiouswords。Shewelcomedherbrother\'sreturnwithsmiles,notknowing,inthepurityofheryouth,thatfarawayacourtesanhadsacrificedherownhappinessatthemereinvocationofhername。

  Iremainedforsometimeintheirhappyfamily,fullofindulgentcareforonewhobroughtthemtheconvalescenceofhisheart。

  IreturnedtoParis,whereIwrotethisstoryjustasithadbeentoldme。Ithasonlyonemerit,whichwillperhapsbedeniedit;

  thatis,thatitistrue。

  IdonotdrawfromthisstorytheconclusionthatallwomenlikeMargueritearecapableofdoingallthatshedid——farfromit;

  butIhavediscoveredthatoneofthemexperiencedaseriousloveinthecourseofherlife,thatshesufferedforit,andthatshediedofit。IhavetoldthereaderallthatIlearned。Itwasmyduty。

  Iamnottheapostleofvice,butIwouldgladlybetheechoofnoblesorrowwhereverIbearitsvoiceinprayer。

  ThestoryofMargueriteisanexception,Irepeat;haditnotbeenanexception,itwouldnothavebeenworththetroubleofwritingit。

点击下载App,搜索"Camille",免费读到尾