第13章
加入书架 A- A+
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  BetweentwoandthreeweeksafterwardsJudewasengagedwithsomemoremen,outsideCrozierCollegeinOld-timeStreet,ingettingablockofworkedfreestonefromawaggonacrossthepavement,beforehoistingittotheparapetwhichtheywererepairing。Standinginpositiontheheadmansaid,`Spaikwhenheheave!He-ho!’Andtheyheaved。

  Allofasudden,ashelifted,hiscousinstoodclosetohiselbow,pausingamomentonthebendofherfoottilltheobstructingobjectshouldhavebeenremoved。Shelookedrightintohisfacewithliquid,untranslatableeyes,thatcombined,orseemedtohimtocombine,keennesswithtenderness,andmysterywithboth,theirexpression,aswellasthatofherlips,takingitslifefromsomewordsjustspokentoacompanion,andbeingcarriedonintohisfacequiteunconsciously。Shenomoreobservedhispresencethanthatofthedust-moteswhichhismanipulationsraisedintothesunbeams。

  Hisclosenesstoherwassosuggestivethathetrembled,andturnedhisfaceawaywithashyinstincttopreventherrecognizinghim,thoughasshehadneveronceseenhimshecouldnotpossiblydoso;andmightverywellneverhaveheardevenhisname。Hecouldperceivethatthoughshewasacountry-girlatbottom,alattergirlhoodofsomeyearsinLondon,andawomanhoodhere,hadtakenallrawnessoutofher。

  Whenshewasgonehecontinuedhiswork,reflectingonher。Hehadbeensocaughtbyherinfluencethathehadtakennocountofhergeneralmouldandbuild。Herememberednowthatshewasnotalargefigure,thatshewaslightandslight,ofthetypedubbedelegant。Thatwasaboutallhehadseen。Therewasnothingstatuesqueinher;allwasnervousmotion。

  Shewasmobile,living,yetapaintermightnothavecalledherhandsomeorbeautiful。Butthemuchthatshewassurprisedhim。Shewasquitealongwayremovedfromtherusticitythatwashis。Howcouldoneofhiscross-grained,unfortunate,almostaccursedstock,havecontrivedtoreachthispitchofniceness?Londonhaddoneit,hesupposed。

  Fromthismomenttheemotionwhichhadbeenaccumulatinginhisbreastasthebottled-upeffectofsolitudeandthepoetizedlocalityhedweltin,insensiblybegantoprecipitateitselfonthishalf-visionaryform;andheperceivedthat,whateverhisobedientwishinacontrarydirection,hewouldsoonbeunabletoresistthedesiretomakehimselfknowntoher。

  Heaffectedtothinkofherquiteinafamilyway,sincetherewerecrushingreasonswhyheshouldnotandcouldnotthinkofherinanyother。

  Thefirstreasonwasthathewasmarried,anditwouldbewrong。

  Thesecondwasthattheywerecousins。Itwasnotwellforcousinstofallinloveevenwhencircumstancesseemedtofavourthepassion。Thethird:

  evenwerehefree,inafamilylikehisownwheremarriageusuallymeantatragicsadness,marriagewithablood-relationwouldduplicatetheadverseconditions,andatragicsadnessmightbeintensifiedtoatragichorror。

  Therefore,again,hewouldhavetothinkofSuewithonlyarelation’smutualinterestinonebelongingtohim;regardherinapracticalwayassomeonetobeproudof;totalkandnodto;lateron,tobeinvitedtoteaby,theemotionspentonherbeingrigorouslythatofakinsmanandwell-wisher。Sowouldshebetohimakindlystar,anelevatingpower,acompanioninAnglicanworship,atenderfriendJudetheObscureChapter14II-iiiButunderthevariousdeterrentinfluencesJude’sinstinctwastoapproachhertimidly,andthenextSundayhewenttothemorningserviceintheCathedralchurchofCardinalCollegetogainafurtherviewofher,forhehadfoundthatshefrequentlyattendedthere。

  Shedidnotcome,andheawaitedherintheafternoon,whichwasfiner。Heknewthatifshecameatallshewouldapproachthebuildingalongtheeasternsideofthegreatgreenquadranglefromwhichitwasaccessible,andhestoodinacornerwhilethebellwasgoing。Afewminutesbeforethehourforservicesheappearedasoneofthefigureswalkingalongunderthecollegewalls,andatsightofherheadvancedupthesideopposite,andfollowedherintothebuilding,morethanevergladthathehadnotasyetrevealedhimself。Toseeher,andtobehimselfunseenandunknown,wasenoughforhimatpresent。

  Helingeredawhileinthevestibule,andtheservicewassomewayadvancedwhenhewasputintoaseat。Itwasalouring,mournful,stillafternoon,whenareligionofsomesortseemsanecessitytoordinarypracticalmen,andnotonlyaluxuryoftheemotionalandleisuredclasses。Inthedimlightandthebafflingglareoftheclerestorywindowshecoulddiscerntheoppositeworshippersindistinctlyonly,buthesawthatSuewasamongthem。Hehadnotlongdiscoveredtheexactseatthatsheoccupiedwhenthechantingofthe119thPsalminwhichthechoirwasengagedreacheditssecondpart,Inquocorriget,theorganchangingtoapatheticGregoriantuneasthesingersgaveforth:

  Wherewithalshallayoungmancleansehisway?ItwastheveryquestionthatwasengagingJude’sattentionatthismoment。

  Whatawickedworthlessfellowhehadbeentogiveventashehaddonetoananimalpassionforawoman,andallowittoleadtosuchdisastrousconsequences;thentothinkofputtinganendtohimself;thentogorecklesslyandgetdrunk。Thegreatwavesofpedalmusictumbledroundthechoir,and,nursedonthesupernaturalashehadbeen,itisnotwonderfulthathecouldhardlybelievethatthepsalmwasnotspeciallysetbysomeregardfulProvidenceforthismomentofhisfirstentryintothesolemnbuilding。

  Andyetitwastheordinarypsalmforthetwenty-fourtheveningofthemonth。

  Thegirlforwhomhewasbeginningtonourishanextraordinarytendernesswasatthistimeenspheredbythesameharmoniesasthosewhichfloatedintohisears;andthethoughtwasadelighttohim。Shewasprobablyafrequenterofthisplace,and,steepedbodyandsoulinchurchsentimentasshemustbebyoccupationandhabit,had,nodoubt,muchincommonwithhim。Toanimpressionableandlonelyyoungmantheconsciousnessofhavingatlastfoundanchorageforhisthoughts,whichpromisedtosupplybothsocialandspiritualpossibilities,waslikethedewofHermon,andheremainedthroughouttheserviceinasustainingatmosphereofecstasy。

  Thoughhewaslothtosuspectit,somepeoplemighthavesaidtohimthattheatmosphereblewasdistinctlyfromCyprusasfromGalilee。

  Judewaitedtillshehadleftherseatandpassedunderthescreenbeforehehimselfmoved。Shedidnotlooktowardshim,andbythetimehereachedthedoorshewashalf-waydownthebroadpath。BeingdressedupinhisSundaysuithewasinclinedtofollowherandrevealhimself。

  Buthewasnotquiteready;and,alas,oughthetodosowiththekindoffeelingthatwasawakeninginhim?

  Forthoughithadseemedtohaveanecclesiasticalbasisduringtheservice,andhehadpersuadedhimselfthatsuchwasthecase,hecouldnotaltogetherbeblindtotherealnatureofthemagnetism。Shewassuchastrangerthatthekinshipwasaffectation,andhesaid,`Itcan’tbe!

  I,amanwithawife,mustnotknowher!’StillSuewashisownkin,andthefactofhishavingawife,eventhoughshewasnotinevidenceinthishemisphere,mightbeahelpinonesense。ItwouldputallthoughtofatenderwishonhispartoutofSue’smind,andmakeherintercoursewithhimfreeandfearless。Itwaswithsomeheartachethathesawhowlittlehecaredforthefreedomandfearlessnessthatwouldresultinherfromsuchknowledge。

  Somelittletimebeforethedateofthisserviceinthecathedralthepretty,liquid-eyed,light-footedyoungwomanSueBrideheadhadanafternoon’sholiday,andleavingtheecclesiasticalestablishmentinwhichshenotonlyassistedbutlodged,tookawalkintothecountrywithabookinherhand。ItwasoneofthosecloudlessdayswhichsometimesoccurinWessexandelsewherebetweendaysofcoldandwet,asifintercalatedbycapriceoftheweather-god。Shewentalongforamileortwountilshecametomuchhighergroundthanthatofthecityshehadleftbehindher。

  Theroadpassedbetweengreenfields,andcomingtoastileSuepausedthere,tofinishthepageshewasreading,andthenlookedbackatthetowersanddomesandpinnaclesnewandold。

  Ontheothersideofthestile,inthefootpath,shebeheldaforeignerwithblackhairandasallowface,sittingonthegrassbesidealargesquareboardwhereonwerefixed,ascloselyastheycouldstand,anumberofplasterstatuettes,someofthembronzed,whichhewasre-arrangingbeforeproceedingwiththemonhisway。Theywereinthemainreducedcopiesofancientmarbles,andcompriseddivinitiesofaverydifferentcharacterfromthosethegirlwasaccustomedtoseeportrayed,amongthembeingaVenusofstandardpattern,aDiana,and,oftheothersex,Apollo,Bacchus,andMars。Thoughthefiguresweremanyyardsawayfromherthesouth-westsunbroughtthemoutsobrilliantlyagainstthegreenherbagethatshecoulddiscerntheircontourswithluminousdistinctness;andbeingalmostinalinebetweenherselfandthechurchtowersofthecitytheyawokeinheranoddlyforeignandcontrastingsetofideasbycomparison。Themanrose,and,seeingher,politelytookoffhiscap,andcried`I-i-i-mages!’

  inanaccentthatagreedwithhisappearance。Inamomenthedexterouslylifteduponhiskneethegreatboardwithitsassemblednotabilitiesdivineandhuman,andraisedittothetopofhishead,bringingthemontoherandrestingtheboardonthestile。Firstheofferedherhissmallerwares-thebustsofkingsandqueens,thenaminstrel,thenawingedCupid。

  Sheshookherhead。

  `Howmucharethesetwo?’shesaid,touchingwithherfingertheVenusandtheApollo-thelargestfiguresonthetray。

  Hesaidsheshouldhavethemfortenshillings。

  `Icannotaffordthat,’saidSue。Sheofferedconsiderablyless,andtohersurprisetheimage-mandrewthemfromtheirwirestayandhandedthemoverthestile。Sheclaspedthemastreasures。

  Whentheywerepaidfor,andthemanhadgone,shebegantobeconcernedastowhatsheshoulddowiththem。Theyseemedsoverylargenowthattheywereinherpossession,andsoverynaked。Beingofanervoustemperamentshetrembledatherenterprise。Whenshehandledthemthewhitepipeclaycameoffonherglovesandjacket。Aftercarryingthemalongalittlewayopenlyanideacametoher,and,pullingsomehugeburdockleaves,parsley,andotherrankgrowthsfromthehedge,shewrappedupherburdenaswellasshecouldinthese,sothatwhatshecarriedappearedtobeanenormousarmfulofgreenstuffgatheredbyazealousloverofnature。

  `Well,anythingisbetterthanthoseeverlastingchurchfallals!’

  shesaid。Butshewasstillinatremblingstate,andseemedalmosttowishshehadnotboughtthefigures。

  OccasionallypeepinginsidetheleavestoseethatVenus’sarmwasnotbroken,sheenteredwithherheathenloadintothemostChristiancityinthecountrybyanobscurestreetrunningparalleltothemainone,androundacornertothesidedooroftheestablishmenttowhichshewasattached。Herpurchasesweretakenstraightuptoherownchamber,andsheatonceattemptedtolocktheminaboxthatwasherveryownproperty;

  butfindingthemtoocumbersomeshewrappedtheminlargesheetsofbrownpaper,andstoodthemonthefloorinacorner。

  Themistressofthehouse,MissFontover,wasanelderlyladyinspectacles,dressedalmostlikeanabbess;adabatRitual,asbecomeoneofherbusiness,andaworshipperattheceremonialchurchofSt。Silas,inthesuburbofBeershebabefore-mentioned,whichJudealsohadbeguntoattend。Shewasthedaughterofaclergymaninreducedcircumstances,andathisdeath,whichhadoccurredseveralyearsbeforethisdate,sheboldlyavoidedpenurybytakingoveralittleshopofchurchrequisitesanddevelopingittoitspresentcreditableproportions。Sheworeacrossandbeadsroundherneckasheronlyornament,andknewtheChristianYearbyheart。

  ShenowcametocallSuetotea,and,findingthatthegirldidnotrespondforamoment,enteredtheroomjustastheotherwashastilyputtingastringroundeachparcel。

  `Somethingyouhavebeenbuying,MissBridehead?’sheasked,regardingtheenwrappedobjects。

  `Yes-justsomethingtoornamentmyroom,’saidSue。

  `Well,IshouldhavethoughtIhadputenoughherealready,’saidMissFontover,lookingroundattheGothic-framedprintsofsaints,theChurch-textscrolls,andotherarticleswhich,havingbecometoostaletosell,hadbeenusedtofurnishthisobscurechamber。`Whatisit?Howbulky!’Shetorealittlehole,aboutasbigasawafer,inthebrownpaper,andtriedtopeepin。`Why,statuary?Twofigures?Wheredidyougetthem?’

  `Oh-Iboughtthemofatravellingmanwhosellscasts’

  `Twosaints?’

  `Yes。’

  `Whatones?’

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