第12章
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  “Marriageisafailurethesedaysformostofus。Wecan’tliveonthefarm,andcan’tgetalivinginthecity,andthereweare。“Shelaidherhandonhisarm。“Ideclare,Howard,you’rethesameboyyouusedtobe。Iain’tabitafraidofyou,forallyoursuccess。“

  “Andyou’rethesamegirl?No,Ican’tsaythat。Itseemstomeyou’vegrownmorethanIhave-Idon’tmeanphysically,Imeanmentally,“heexplainedashesawhersmileinthedefensivewayafleshygirlhas,alerttowardoffajoke。

  Theywereinthemidstoftalk,Howardtellingoneofhisfunnystories,whenawagonclattereduptothedoorandmerryvoicescalledloudly:

  “Whoa,there,Sampson!“

  “Hullo,thehouse!“

  Roselookedatherfatherwithasmileinherblackeyesexactlylikehis。Theywenttothedoor。

  “Hullo!What’swanted?“

  “GrantMcLanelivehere?“

  “Yup。Righthere。“

  Amomentlatertherecamealaughing,chattingsquadofwomentothedoor。Mrs。McLaneandLaurastaredateachotherinamazement。Grantwentoutdoors。

  Rosestoodatthedoorasifshewerehostess。

  “Comein,Nettie。Gladtoseeyeh-gladtoseeyeh!Mrs。Mcllvaine,comerightin!Takeaseat。Makeyerselftohome,do!AndMrs。

  Peavey!Wal,Inever!Thismustbeasurpriseparty。Well,Iswan!

  Howmanymoreo’yeairthey?“

  Allwasconfusion,merriment,handshakingsasRoseintroducedtheminherroguishway。

  “Folks,thisisMr。HowardMcLaneofNewYork。He’sanactor,butithain’tspoiledhimabitasIcansee。How,thisisNettieMcllvaine-Wilsonthatwas。“

  HowardshookhandswithNettie,atall,plaingirlwithprominentteeth。

  “ThisisMaMcllvaine。“

  “Shelooksjustthesame,“said。Howard,shakingherhandandfeelinghowhardandwork-wornitwas。

  Andsoamidbustle,chatter,andinvitations“tolayoffy’rthingsan’stayawhile,“thewomengotdisposedabouttheroomatlastThosethathadrockingchairsrockedvigorouslytoandfrotohidetheirembarrassment。Theyalltalkedinloudvoices。

  Howardfeltnervousunderthisfurtivescrutiny。Hewishedhisclothesdidn’tlooksoconfoundedlydressy。Whydidn’thehavesenseenoughtogoandbuyafifteen-dollarsuitofdiagonalsforeverydaywear。

  Rosewasthelifeoftheparty。Hertonguerattledonmthemostdelightfulway。

  “It’sallRosean’Bill’sdoin’s,“Mrs。Mcllvaineexplained。“Theytoldustocomeoveran’pickupanybodyweseeontheroad。Sowedid。“

  Howardwincedalittleatherfamiliarityoftone。Hecouldn’thelpitforthelifeofhim。

  “Well,IwantedtocometonightbecauseI’mgoingawaynextweek,andIwantedtoseehowhe’dactatasurprisepartyagain,“

  Roseexplained。

  “Married,Is’pose,“saidMrs。Mcllvaineabruptly。

  “No,notyet。“

  “Goodland!Why,y’Inns’bethirty-five,How。Mustadis’p’intedy’rmamnottohaveayoung’untocall’ergranny。“

  Themencameclumpingin,talkingabouthayingandhorses。

  SomeoftheolderonesHowardknewandgreeted,buttheyoungeronesweremainlytoomuchchanged。Theywereallveryillatease。

  Mostofthemwereincompromisedress-somethinglyingbetweenworking“rig“andSundaydress。Mostofthemhadoncleanshirtsandpapercollars,andworetheirSundaycoatsthickwoolengarmentsoverroughtrousers。Allofthemcrossedtheirlegsatonce,andmostofthemsoughtthewallandleanedbackperilously~uponthehindlegsoftheirchairs,eyeingHowardslowly。

  Forthefirstfewminutesthepresentswerethesubjectsofconversation。Thewomenespeciallyspentagooddealoftalkuponthem。

  Howardfoundhimselfforcedtotakingtheinitiative,soheinquiredaboutthecropsandaboutthefarms。

  “Iseeyoudon’tplowthehillsasweusedto。Andreap’。Whatajobitusttobe。Itmakesthehillsmorebeautifultohavethemcoveredwithsmoothgrassandcattle。“

  Therewasonlydeadsilencetothistouchingupontheideaofbeauty。

  “Is’poseitpaysreasonably。“

  “Notenoughtokill,“saidoneoftheyoungermen。“Youc’nseethatbythehouseswelivein-thatis,mostofus。Afewthatcameinearlyan’gotlandcheap,likeMcllvaine,here-hegotaliftthattherestofuscan’tget。“

  “I’mafreetrader,myself,“saidoneyoungfellow,blushingandlookingawayasHowardturnedandsaidcheerily:

  “So’mI。“

  Therestsemedtofeelthatthiswasatabooedsubject-asubjecttobetalkedoutofdoors,whereonecouldpranceaboutandyellanddojusticetoit。

  Grantsatsilentlyinthekitchendoorway,notsayingaword,notlookingathis。brother。

  “Well,Idon’tneverusehotvinegarformine,“Mrs。Mcllvainewasheardtosay。“Ijestusehotwater,an’Irinse’emoutgood,andset’embottom-sideupinthesun。Ido’knowbutwhathotvinegarwouldbemorecleansin’。“

  Rosehadtheyoungerfolksinagigglewithadrolltellingofajokeonherself。

  “How’dy’stop’emfromlaffin’?“

  “Ilet’emlaugh。Oh,myschoolisadisgrace-soonedirectorsays。

  ButIliketoseechildrenlaugh。Itbroadenstheircheeks。“

  “Yes,that’sallhandwork。“Laurawasshowingthebaby’sSundayclothes。

  “GoodnessPeter!Howdoyoufindtimetodosomuch?“

  “Itaketime。“

  Howard,beingthelionoftheevening,triedhisbesttobeagreeable。Hekeptnearhismother,becauseitaffordedhersomuchprideandsatisfaction,andbecausehewasobligedtokeepawayfromGrant,whohadbeguntotalktothemen。Howardtall~edmainlyabouttheiraffairs,butstillwasforcedmoreandmoreintotalkingoflifeinthecity。Ashetoldofthetheaterandtheconcerts,asuddenchangefelluponthem;theygrewsober,andhefeltdeepdownintheheartsofthesepeopleamelancholywhichwasexpressedonlyelusivelywithlittletonesorsighs。Theirgaietywasfitful。

  Theywerehungryfortheworld,forart-theseyoungpeople。

  Discontentedandyethardlydaringtoacknowledgeit;indeed,fewofthemcouldhavemadedefinitestatementoftheirdissatisfaction。Theolderpeoplefeltitless。Theypracticallysaid,withasighofpatheticresignation:

  “Well,Idon’texpectevertoseethesethingsnow……“

  Acasualobserverwouldhavesaid,“Whatapleasantbucolic-thislittlesurprisepartyofwelcome!“ButHowardwithhisnativeearandeyehadnosuchpleasingillusion。Heknewtoowellthesesuggestionsofdespairandbitterness。Heknewthat,likethesmileoftheslave,thischeerfulnesswasself-defense;deepdownwasanotherself。

  SeeingGranttalkingwithagroupofmenoverbythekitchendoor,hecrossedoverslowlyandstoodlistening。WesleyCosgrove-atall,rawbonedyoungfellowwithagrave,almosttragicface-wassaying:

  “OfcourseIain’t。Whois?Amanthat’ssatisfiedtoliveaswedoisafool。“

  “Theworstofitis,“saidGrantwithoutseeingHoward,amancan’tgetoutofitduringhislifetime,andldon’tknowthathe’llhaveanychanceinthenext-thespeculator’llbethereaheadofus。“

  Therestlaughed,butGrantwentongrily:

  “TenyearsagoWes,here,couldhavegotlandinDakotaprettyeasy,butnowit’saboutallafeller’slife’sworthtotryit。Itellyouthingsseemshuttin’downonusfellers。“

  “Plentyo’landtorent?“suggestedsomeone。

  “Yes,intermsthatskinamanalive。Morethanthat,farmin’ain’tsofreealifeasitusedtobe。Thiscattle-raisin’andbutter-makin’

  makesaniggerofaman。Bindshimrightdowntothegrindstone,andhegetsnothin’outofit-that’swhatrubsitin。Hesimplywallersaroundinthemanureforsomebodyelse。I’dliketoknowwhataman’slifeisworthwholivesaswedo?Howmuchhigherisitthanthelivestheniggersusedtolive?“

  ThesebrutallybaldwordsmadeHowardthrillwitbemotionlikesomegreattragicpoem。Asilencefellonthegroup。

  “That’stheGod’struth,Grant,“saidyoungCosgroveafterapause。

  “Amanlikemeishelpless,“Grantwassaying。“Justlikeaflyinapanofmolasses。Thereain’tanyescapeforhim。Themorehetearsaround,themoreliableheistoriphislegsoff。“

  “Whatcanhedo?“

  Themenlistenedinsilence。

  “Oh,come,don’ttalkpoliticsallnight!“criedRose,breakingin。

  “Come,let’shaveadance。Where’sthatfiddle?“

  “Fiddle!“criedHoward,gladofachancetolaugh。“Well,now!

  Bringoutthatfiddle。IsitWilliam’s?“

  “Yes,Pap’soldfiddle。“

  “Oh,gosh!hedon’twanttohearmeplay,“pr~testedWilliam。

  “He’sheards’manyfiddlers。“

  “Fiddlers!I’veheardathousandviolinists,butnotfiddlers。Come,giveus’HonestJohn。’“

  Williamtookthefiddleinhiswork-callousedandcrookedhandsandbegantuningit。Thegroupatthekitchendoorturnedtolisten,theirfaceslightingupalittle。Rosetriedtogetasetonthefloor。

  “Oh,goodland!“saidsome。“We’realltuckeredout。Whatmakesyousoanxious?“

  “ShewantsachancetodancewiththeNewYorker。“

  “That’sitexactly,“Roseadmitted。

  “Wal,ifyou’dchurnedandmoppedandcookedforhayin’handsasIhavetoday,youwouldn’tbesofullo’nonsense。“

  “Oh,bother!Life’sshort。Comequick,getBettieout。Come,Wes,nevermindyourhobbyhorse。“

  Byincredibleexertionshegotasetonthefloor,andWilliamgotthefiddleintune。HowardlookedacrossatWesley,andthoughtthechangeinhimsplendidlydramatic。Hisfacehadlightedupintoakindofdeprecating,boyishsmile。Rosecoulddoanythingwithhim。

  Williamplayedsomeoftheoldtunesthathadathou-sandassociatedmemoriesinHoward’sbrain,memoriesofharvestmoons,ofmelonfeasts,andofclear,coldwinternights。Ashedanced,hiseyesfilledwithatender,luminouslight。Hecameclosertothemallthanhehadbeenabletodobefore。Granthadgoneoutintothekitchen。

  Aftertwoorthreesetshadbeendanced,thecompanytookseatsandcouldnotbestirredagain。SoLauraandRosedisappearedforafewmoments,andreturning,servedstrawberriesandcream,whichshe“justhappenedtohaveinthehouse。“

  AndthenWilliamplayedagain。Hisfingers,nowgrownmoresupple,broughtoutclearer,firmertones。Asheplayed,silencefellonthesepeople。Themagicofmusicsoberedeveryface;thewomenlookedolderandmorecareworn,themenslouchedsullenlyintheirchairsorleanedbackagainstthewall。

  ItseemedtoHowardasifthespiritoftragedyhadenteredthishouse。MusichadalwaysbeenWilliam’sunconsciousexpressionofhisunsatisfieddesires。Hewasnevermelancholyexceptwhenheplayed。Thenhiseyesgrewsomber,hisdroopingfacefullofshadows。

  Heplayedonslowly,softly,wailingScotchtunesandmournfulIrishsongs。Heseemedtofindinthesongsofthesepeople,andespeciallyinawild,sweet,low-keyedNegrosong,someexpressionforhisindefinableinnermelancholy。

  Heplayedon,forgetfulofeverybody,hislongbeardsweepingtheviolin,histoilwornhandsmarvelouslyobedienttohiswill。

  Atlasthestopped,lookedupwithafaint,deprecatingsmile,andsaidwithasigh:

  “Well,folkses,timetogohome。“

  Thegoingwasquiet。Notmuchlaughing。Howardstoodatthedoorandsaidgoodnighttothemall,hisheartverytender。

  “Comeandseeus,“theysaid。

  “Iwill,“herepliedcordially。“I’lltryandgetaroundtoseeeverybody,andtalkoveroldtimes,beforeIgoback。“

  Afterthewagonshaddrivenoutoftheyard,Howardturnedandputhisarmabouthismother’sneck。

  “Tired?“

  “Alittle。“

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