第70章
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  Isuppose

  itwas,forIdidnothearitsoastounderstandit,whichwas

  thegentlewomanthatsenthim;forthemessengersaid,’There

  sheis,sir’;atwhichhecomesdirectlyuptome,kissesme,

  tookmeinhisarms,andembracedmewithsomuchpassion

  thathecouldnotspeak,butIcouldfeelhisbreastheaveand

  throblikeachild,thatcries,butsobs,andcannotcryitout。

  Icanneitherexpressnordescribethejoythattouchedmyvery

  soulwhenIfound,foritwaseasytodiscoverthatpart,that

  hecamenotasastranger,butasasontoamother,andindeed

  asasonwhohadneverbeforeknownwhatamotherofhis

  ownwas;inshort,wecriedoveroneanotheraconsiderable

  while,whenatlasthebrokeoutfirst。

  ’Mydearmother,’says

  he,’areyoustillalive?

  Ineverexpectedtohaveseenyour

  face。’

  Asforme,Icouldsaynothingagreatwhile。

  Afterwehadbothrecoveredourselvesalittle,andwereable

  totalk,hetoldmehowthingsstood。AstowhatIhadwritten

  tohisfather,hetoldmehehadnotshowedmylettertohis

  father,ortoldhimanythingaboutit;thatwhathisgrandmother

  leftmewasinhishands,andthathewoulddomejusticeto

  myfullsatisfaction;thatastohisfather,hewasoldandinfirm

  bothinbodyandmind;thathewasveryfretfulandpassionate,

  almostblind,andcapableofnothing;andhequestioned

  whetherhewouldknowhowtoactinanaffairwhichwasof

  soniceanatureasthis;andthatthereforehehadcomehimself,

  aswelltosatisfyhimselfinseeingme,whichhecouldnot

  restrainhimselffrom,asalsotoputitintomypowertomake

  ajudgment,afterIhadseenhowthingswere,whetherIwould

  discovermyselftohisfatherorno。

  Thiswasreallysoprudentlyandwiselymanaged,thatIfound

  mysonwasamanofsense,andneedednodirectionfromme。

  ItoldhimIdidnotwonderthathisfatherwasashehad

  describedhim,forthathisheadwasalittletouchedbeforeI

  wentaway;andprincipallyhisdisturbancewasbecauseI

  couldnotbepersuadedtoconcealourrelationandtolivewith

  himasmyhusband,afterIknewthathewasmybrother;that

  asheknewbetterthanIwhathisfather’spresentcondition

  was,Ishouldreadilyjoinwithhiminsuchmeasureashe

  woulddirect;thatIwasindifferentastoseeinghisfather,

  sinceIhadseenhimfirst,andhecouldnothavetoldmebetter

  newsthantotellmethatwhathisgrandmotherhadleftme

  wasentrustedinhishands,who,Idoubtednot,nowheknew

  whoIwas,would,ashesaid,domejustice。

  Iinquiredthen

  howlongmymotherhadbeendead,andwhereshedied,and

  toldsomanyparticularsofthefamily,thatIlefthimnoroom

  todoubtthetruthofmybeingreallyandtrulyhismother。

  MysontheninquiredwhereIwas,andhowIhaddisposed

  myself。

  ItoldhimIwasontheMarylandsideofthebay,at

  theplantationofaparticularfriendwhocamefromEngland

  inthesameshipwithme;thatasforthatsideofthebaywhere

  hewas,Ihadnohabitation。

  HetoldmeIshouldgohome

  withhim,andlivewithhim,ifIpleased,aslongasIlived;

  thatastohisfather,heknewnobody,andwouldneverso

  muchasguessatme。

  Iconsideredofthatalittle,andtold

  him,thatthoughitwasreallynoconcerntometoliveata

  distancefromhim,yetIcouldnotsayitwouldbethemost

  comfortablethingintheworldtometoliveinthehousewith

  him,andtohavethatunhappyobjectalwaysbeforeme,which

  hadbeensuchablowtomypeacebefore;thatthoughIshould

  begladtohavehiscompanymyson,ortobeasnearhimas

  possiblewhileIstayed,yetIcouldnotthinkofbeinginthe

  housewhereIshouldbealsounderconstantrestraintforfear

  ofbetrayingmyselfinmydiscourse,norshouldIbeableto

  refrainsomeexpressionsinmyconversingwithhimasmy

  son,thatmightdiscoverthewholeaffair,whichwouldbyno

  meansbeconvenient。

  HeacknowledgedthatIwasrightinallthis。

  ’Butthen,dear

  mother,’sayshe,’youshallbeasnearmeasyoucan。’

  Sohe

  tookmewithhimonhorsebacktoaplantationnexttohisown,

  andwhereIwasaswellentertainedasIcouldhavebeeninhis

  own。

  Havingleftmetherehewentawayhome,tellingmewe

  wouldtalkofthemainbusinessthenextday;andhavingfirst

  calledmehisaunt,andgivenachargetothepeople,whoit

  seemswerehistenants,totreatmewithallpossiblerespect。

  Abouttwohoursafterhewasgone,hesentmeamaid-servant

  andaNegroboytowaitonme,andprovisionsreadydressed

  formysupper;andthusIwasasifIhadbeeninanewworld,

  andbegansecretlynowtowishthatIhadnotbroughtmy

  LancashirehusbandfromEnglandatall。

  However,thatwishwasnotheartyneither,forIlivedmy

  Lancashirehusbandentirely,asindeedIhadeverdonefrom

  thebeginning;andhemeritedfrommeasmuchasitwas

  possibleforamantodo;butthatbytheway。

  Thenextmorningmysoncametovisitmeagainalmostas

  soonasIwasup。

  Afteralittlediscourse,hefirstofallpulled

  outadeerskinbag,andgaveitme,withfive-and-fiftySpanish

  pistolesinit,andtoldmethatwastosupplymyexpensesfrom

  England,forthoughitwasnothisbusinesstoinquire,yethe

  oughttothinkIdidnotbringagreatdealofmoneyoutwith

  me,itnotbeingusualtobringmuchmoneyintothatcountry。

  Thenhepulledouthisgrandmother’swill,andreaditoverto

  me,wherebyitappearedthatshehadleftasmallplantation,

  ashecalledit,onYorkRiver,thatis,wheremymotherlived,

  tome,withthestockofservantsandcattleuponit,andgiven

  itintrusttothissonofmineformyuse,wheneverheshould

  hearofmybeingalive,andtomyheirs,ifIhadanychildren,

  andindefaultofheirs,towhomsoeverIshouldbywilldispose

  ofit;butgavetheincomeofit,tillIshouldbeheardof,or

  found,tomysaidson;andifIshouldnotbeliving,thenitwas

  tohim,andhisheirs。

  Thisplantation,thoughremotefromhim,hesaidhedidnot

  letout,butmanageditbyahead-clerksteward,ashedid

  anotherthatwashisfather’s,thatlayhardbyit,andwentover

  himselfthreeorfourtimesayeartolookafterit。

  Iaskedhim

  whathethoughttheplantationmightbeworth。

  Hesaid,ifI

  wouldletitout,hewouldgivemeabout60ayearforit;but

  ifIwouldliveonit,thenitwouldbeworthmuchmore,and,

  hebelieved,wouldbringmeinabout#150ayear。

  Butseeing

  Iwaslikelyeithertosettleontheothersideofthebay,or

  mightperhapshaveamindtogobacktoEnglandagain,ifI

  wouldlethimbemystewardhewouldmanageitforme,as

  hehaddoneforhimself,andthathebelievedheshouldbe

  abletosendmeasmuchtobaccotoEnglandfromitaswould

  yieldmeabout#100ayear,sometimesmore。

  Thiswasallstrangenewstome,andthingsIhadnotbeen

  usedto;andreallymyheartbegantolookupmoreseriously

  thanIthinkiteverdidbefore,andtolookwithgreatthankfulness

  tothehandofProvidence,whichhaddonesuchwondersfor

  me,whohadbeenmyselfthegreatestwonderofwickedness

  perhapsthathadbeensufferedtoliveintheworld。

  AndImust

  againobserve,thatnotonthisoccasiononly,butevenonall

  otheroccasionsofthankfulness,mypastwickedandabominable

  lifeneverlookedsomonstroustome,andIneversocompletely

  abhorredit,andreproachedmyselfwithit,aswhenIhada

  senseuponmeofProvidencedoinggoodtome,whileIhad

  beenmakingthosevilereturnsonmypart。

  ButIleavethereadertoimprovethesethoughts,asnodoubt

  theywillseecause,andIgoontothefact。

  Myson’stender

  carriageandkindoffersfetchedtearsfromme,almostallthe

  whilehetalkedwithme。

  Indeed,Icouldscarcediscourse

  withhimbutintheintervalsofmypassion;however,atlength

  Ibegan,andexpressingmyselfwithwonderatmybeingso

  happytohavethetrustofwhatIhadleft,putintothehands

  ofmyownchild,Itoldhim,thatastotheinheritanceofit,I

  hadnochildbuthimintheworld,andwasnowpasthaving

  anyifIshouldmarry,andthereforewoulddesirehimtoget

  awritingdrawn,whichIwasreadytoexecute,bywhichI

  would,afterme,giveitwhollytohimandtohisheirs。

  And

  inthemeantime,smiling,Iaskedhimwhatmadehimcontinue

  abachelorsolong。

  Hisanswerwaskindandready,that

  Virginiadidnotyieldanygreatplentyofwives,andthatsince

  ItalkedofgoingbacktoEngland,Ishouldsendhimawife

  fromLondon。

  Thiswasthesubstanceofourfirstday’sconversation,the

  pleasantestdaythateverpassedovermyheadinmylife,and

  whichgavemethetruestsatisfaction。

  Hecameeveryday

  afterthis,andspentgreatpartofhistimewithme,andcarried

  meabouttoseveralofhisfriends’houses,whereIwas

  entertainedwithgreatrespect。

  AlsoIdinesseveraltimesat

  hisownhouse,whenhetookcarealwaystoseehishalf-dead

  fathersooutofthewaythatIneversawhim,orheme。

  I

  madehimonepresent,anditwasallIhadofvalue,andthat

  wasoneofthegoldwatches,ofwhichImentionedabove,

  thatIhadtwoinmychest,andthisIhappenedtohavewith

  me,andIgaveithimathisthirdvisit。

  ItoldhimIhadnothing

  ofanyvaluetobestowbutthat,andIdesiredhewouldnow

  andthenkissitformysake。

  IdidnotindeedtellhimthatI

  hadstoleitfromagentlewoman’sside,atameeting-housein

  London。

  That’sbytheway。

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