第33章
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  mannerofpeoplesgoingovertothosecountriestosettle,

  howtheyhadaquantityoflandgiventhembytheConstitution

  oftheplace;andifnot,thatitmightbepurchasedatsoeasya

  ratethisitwasnotworthnaming。

  Ithengavehimafullanddistinctaccountofthenatureof

  planting;howwithcarryingoverbuttwoorthreehundred

  poundsvalueinEnglishgoods,withsomeservantsandtools,

  amanofapplicationwouldpresentlylayafoundationfora

  family,andinaveryfewyearsbecertaintoraiseanestate。

  Ilethimintothenatureoftheproductoftheearth;howthe

  groundwascuredandprepared,andwhattheusualincrease

  ofitwas;anddemonstratedtohim,thatinaveryfewyears,

  withsuchabeginning,weshouldbeascertainofbeingrich

  aswewerenowcertainofbeingpoor。

  Hewassurprisedatmydiscourse;forwemadeitthewhole

  subjectofourconversationfornearaweektogether,inwhich

  timeIlaiditdowninblackandwhite,aswesay,thatitwas

  morallyimpossible,withasuppositionofanyreasonablegood

  conduct,butthatwemustthrivethereanddoverywell。

  ThenItoldhimwhatmeasuresIwouldtaketoraisesucha

  sumof#300orthereabouts;andIarguedwithhimhowgood

  amethoditwouldbetoputanendtoourmisfortunesand

  restoreourcircumstancesintheworld,towhatwehadboth

  expected;andIadded,thataftersevenyears,ifwelived,we

  mightbeinaposturetoleaveourplantationsingoodhands,

  andcomeoveragainandreceivetheincomeofit,andlive

  hereandenjoyit;andIgavehimexamplesofsomethathad

  doneso,andlivednowinverygoodcircumstancesinLondon。

  Inshort,Ipressedhimsotoit,thathealmostagreedtoit,but

  stillsomethingorotherbrokeitoffagain;tillatlastheturned

  thetables,andhebegantotalkalmosttothesamepurposeof

  Ireland。

  Hetoldmethatamanthatcouldconfinehimselftocountry

  life,andthatcouldfindbutstocktoenteruponanyland,

  shouldhavefarmstherefor#50ayear,asgoodaswerehere

  letfor#200ayear;thattheproducewassuch,andsorichthe

  land,thatifmuchwasnotlaidup,weweresuretoliveas

  handsomelyuponitasagentlemanof#3000ayearcoulddo

  inEnglandandthathehadlaidaschemetoleavemeinLondon,

  andgooverandtry;andifhefoundhecouldlayahandsome

  foundationoflivingsuitabletotherespecthehadforme,as

  hedoubtednotheshoulddo,hewouldcomeoverandfetchme。

  Iwasdreadfullyafraidthatuponsuchaproposalhewould

  havetakenmeatmyword,viz。tosellmylittleincomeasI

  calledit,andturnitintomoney,andlethimcarryitoverinto

  Irelandandtryhisexperimentwithit;buthewastoojustto

  desireit,ortohaveaccepteditifIhadofferedit;andhe

  anticipatedmeinthat,forheadded,thathewouldgoandtry

  hisfortunethatway,andifhefoundhecoulddoanythingat

  ittolive,then,byaddingminetoitwhenIwentover,we

  shouldlivelikeourselves;butthathewouldnothazarda

  shillingofminetillhehadmadetheexperimentwithalittle,

  andheassuredmethatifhefoundnothingtobedoneinIreland,

  hewouldthencometomeandjoininmyprojectforVirginia。

  Hewassoearnestuponhisprojectbeingtobetriedfirst,that

  Icouldnotwithstandhim;however,hepromisedtoletme

  hearfromhiminaverylittletimeafterhisarrivingthere,to

  letmeknowwhetherhisprospectansweredhisdesign,that

  iftherewasnotapossibilityofsuccess,Imighttakethe

  occasiontoprepareforourothervoyage,andthen,heassured

  me,hewouldgowithmetoAmericawithallhisheart。

  Icouldbringhimtonothingfurtherthanthis。

  However,those

  consultationsentertainedusnearamonth,duringwhichI

  enjoyedhiscompany,whichindeedwasthemostentertaining

  thateverImetinmylifebefore。

  Inthistimeheletmeinto

  thewholestoryofhisownlife,whichwasindeedsurprising,

  andfullofaninfinitevarietysufficienttofillupamuchbrighter

  history,foritsadventuresandincidents,thananyIeversayin

  print;butIshallhaveoccasiontosaymoreofhimhereafter。

  Wepartedatlast,thoughwiththeutmostreluctanceonmy

  side;andindeedhetookhisleaveveryunwillinglytoo,but

  necessityobligedhim,forhisreasonswereverygoodwhyhe

  wouldnotcometoLondon,asIunderstoodmorefullysome

  timeafterwards。

  Igavehimadirectionhowtowritetome,thoughstillI

  reservedthegrandsecret,andneverbrokemyresolution,

  whichwasnottolethimeverknowmytruename,whoIwas,

  orwheretobefound;helikewiseletmeknowhowtowritea

  lettertohim,sothat,hesaid,hewouldbesuretoreceiveit。

  IcametoLondonthenextdayafterweparted,butdidnotgo

  directlytomyoldlodgings;butforanothernamelessreason

  tookaprivatelodginginSt。John’sStreet,or,asitisvulgarly

  called,St。Jones’s,nearClerkenwell;andhere,beingperfectly

  alone,Ihadleisuretositdownandreflectseriouslyuponthe

  lastsevenmonths’rambleIhadmade,forIhadbeenabroad

  noless。

  ThepleasanthoursIhadwithmylasthusbandIlooked

  backonwithaninfinitedealofpleasure;butthatpleasurewas

  verymuchlessenedwhenIfoundsometimeafterthatIwas

  reallywithchild。

  Thiswasaperplexingthing,becauseofthedifficultywhich

  wasbeforemewhereIshouldgetleavetoliein;itbeingoneof

  thenicestthingsintheworldatthattimeofdayforawoman

  thatwasastranger,andhadnofriends,tobeentertainedin

  thatcircumstancewithoutsecurity,which,bytheway,Ihad

  not,neithercouldIprocureany。

  Ihadtakencareallthiswhiletopreserveacorrespondence

  withmyhonestfriendatthebank,orratherhetookcareto

  correspondwithme,forhewrotetomeonceaweek;and

  thoughIhadnotspentmymoneysofastastowantanyfrom

  him,yetIoftenwrotealsotolethimknowIwasalive。

  Ihad

  leftdirectionsinLancashire,sothatIhadtheseletters,which

  hesent,conveyedtome;andduringmyrecessatSt。Jones’s

  receivedaveryobligingletterfromhim,assuringmethathis

  processforadivorcefromhiswifewentonwithsuccess,

  thoughhemetwithsomedifficultiesinitthathedidnotexpect。

  Iwasnotdispleasedwiththenewsthathisprocesswasmore

  tediousthanheexpected;forthoughIwasinnoconditionto

  havehimyet,notbeingsofoolishtomarryhimwhenIknew

  myselftobewithchildbyanotherman,assomeIknowhave

  venturedtodo,yetIwasnotwillingtolosehim,and,ina

  word,resolvedtohavehimifhecontinuedinthesamemind,

  assoonasIwasupagain;forIsawapparentlyIshouldhear

  nomorefrommyhusband;andashehadallalongpressedto

  marry,andhadassuredmehewouldnotbeatalldisgustedat

  it,oreveroffertoclaimmeagain,soImadenoscrupleto

  resolvetodoitifIcould,andifmyotherfriendstoodtohis

  bargain;andIhadagreatdealofreasontobeassuredthathe

  wouldstandtoit,bythelettershewrotetome,whichwere

  thekindestandmostobligingthatcouldbe。

  Inowgrewbig,andthepeoplewhereIlodgedperceivedit,

  andbegantotakenoticeofittome,and,asfarascivility

  wouldallow,intimatedthatImustthinkofremoving。

  This

  putmetoextremeperplexity,andIgrewverymelancholy,for

  indeedIknewnotwhatcoursetotake。

  Ihadmoney,butno

  friends,andwasliketohaveachilduponmyhandstokeep,

  whichwasadifficultIhadneverhaduponmeyet,asthe

  particularsofmystoryhithertomakeappear。

  InthecourseofthisaffairIfellveryill,andmymelancholy

  reallyincreasedmydistemper;myillnessprovedatlengthto

  beonlyanague,butmyapprehensionswerereallythatIshould

  miscarry。

  Ishouldnotsayapprehensions,forindeedIwould

  havebeengladtomiscarry,butIcouldneverbebroughtto

  entertainsomuchasathoughtofendeavouringtomiscarry,

  oroftakinganythingtomakememiscarry;Iabhorred,Isay,

  somuchasthethoughtofit。

  However,speakingofitinthehouse,thegentlewomanwho

  keptthehouseproposedtometosendforamidwife。

  I

  scrupleditatfirst,butaftersometimeconsentedtoit,but

  toldherIhadnoparticularacquaintancewithanymidwife,

  andsoleftittoher。

  Itseemsthemistressofthehousewasnotsogreatastranger

  tosuchcasesasminewasasIthoughtatfirstshehadbeen,

  aswillappearpresently,andshesentforamidwifeofthe

  rightsort——thatistosay,therightsortforme。

  Thewomanappearedtobeanexperiencedwomaninher

  business,Imeanasamidwife;butshehadanothercallingtoo,

  inwhichshewasasexpertasmostwomenifnotmore。

  My

  landladyhadtoldherIwasverymelancholy,andthatshe

  believedthathaddonemeharm;andonce,beforeme,saidto

  her,’Mrs。B——’meaningthemidwife,’Ibelievethislady’s

  troubleisofakindthatisprettymuchinyourway,and

  thereforeifyoucandoanythingforher,praydo,forsheisa

  verycivilgentlewoman’;andsoshewentoutoftheroom。

  Ireallydidnotunderstandher,butmyMotherMidnightbegan

  veryseriouslytoexplainwhatshemean,assoonasshewas

  gone。

  ’Madam,’saysshe,’youseemnottounderstandwhat

  yourlandladymeans;andwhenyoudounderstandit,youneed

  notletherknowatallthatyoudoso。

  ’Shemeansthatyouareundersomecircumstancesthatmay

  renderyourlyingindifficulttoyou,andthatyouarenotwilling

  tobeexposed。

  Ineedsaynomore,buttotellyou,thatifyou

  thinkfittocommunicatesomuchofyourcasetome,ifitbeso,

  asisnecessary,forIdonotdesiretopryintothosethings,I

  perhapsmaybeinapositiontohelpyouandtomakeyou

  perfectlyeasy,andremoveallyourdullthoughtsuponthat

  subject。’

  Everywordthiscreaturesaidwasacordialtome,andput

  newlifeandnewspiritintomyheart;mybloodbeganto

  circulateimmediately,andIwasquiteanotherbody;Iatemy

  victualsagain,andgrewbetterpresentlyafterit。

  Shesaida

  greatdealmoretothesamepurpose,andthen,havingpressed

  metobefreewithher,andpromisedinthesolemnestmanner

  tobesecret,shestoppedalittle,asifwaitingtoseewhat

  impressionitmadeonme,andwhatIwouldsay。

  IwastosensibletoothewantIwasinofsuchawoman,not

  toacceptheroffer;Itoldhermycasewaspartlyasshe

  guessed,andpartlynot,forIwasreallymarried,andhada

  husband,thoughhewasinsuchfinecircumstancesandso

  remoteatthattime,asthathecouldnotappearpublicly。

  Shetookmeshort,andtoldmethatwasnoneofherbusiness;

  alltheladiesthatcameunderhercareweremarriedwomen

  toher。

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