Lookathispestiferoussimplifiedspelling。Imaginethecalamityontwosidesoftheoceanwhenhefoistedhissimplifiedspellingonthewholehumanrace。We’vegotitallnowsothatnobodycouldspell……
IfMr。Carnegiehadleftspellingalonewewouldn’thavehadanyspotsonthesun，oranySanFranciscoquake，oranybusinessdepression。
There，Itrusthefeelsbetternowandthathehasenjoyedmyabusemorethanhedidhiscompliments。AndnowthatIthinkIhavehimsmootheddownandfeelingcomfortableIjustwanttosayonethingmore——thathissimplifiedspellingisallrightenough，but，likechastity，youcancarryittoofar。
Ashewasabouttogo，Carnegiecalledhisattentiontothebeautifulsouvenirbronzeandgold—platedgobletsthatstoodateachguest’splate。
Carnegiesaid：
\"TheclubhadthoseespeciallymadeatTiffany’sforthisoccasion。Theycosttendollarsapiece。\"
Clemenssand：\"Isthatso？Well，Ionlymeanttotakemyown；butifthat’sthecaseI’llloadmycabwiththem。\"
Wemadeanattempttoreformonthematterofbilliards。Thecontinuedstrainoflatehourswasdoingneitherofusanyparticulargood。MorethanonceIjourneyedintothecountryononeerrandandanother，mainlyforrest；butacardsayingthathewaslonelyandupset，forlackofhiseveninggames，quicklybroughtmebackagain。Itwasmywishonlytoservehim；itwasaprivilegeandanhonortogivehimhappiness。
Billiards，however，wasnothisonlyrecreationjustthen。Hewalkedoutagooddeal，andespeciallyofapleasantSundaymorninghelikedthestrollupFifthAvenue。SometimeswewentashighasCarnegie’s，onNinety—secondStreet，androdehomeontopoftheelectricstage——alwaysoneofMarkTwain’sfavoritediversions。
Fromthathighseathelikedtolookdownonthepanoramaofthestreets，andinthatfree，openairhecouldsmokewithoutinterference。Oftener，however，weturnedatFifty—ninthStreet，walkingbothways。
WhenitwaspleasantwesometimessatonabenchinCentralPark；andoncehemusthaveleftahandkerchiefthere，forafewdayslateroneofhishandkerchiefscametohimaccompaniedbyanote。Itsfinder，aMr。
Lockwood，receivedareward，forMarkTwainwrotehim：
Thereismorerejoicinginthishouseoverthatonehandkerchiefthatwaslostandisfoundagainthanovertheninetyandninethatneverwenttothewashatall。Heavenwillrewardyou，Iknowitwill。
OnSundaymorningsthereturnwalkwouldbetimedforaboutthehourthatthechurcheswouldbedismissed。OnthefirstSundaymorningwehadstartedalittleearly，andIthoughtlesslysuggested，whenwereachedFifty—ninthStreet，thatifwereturnedatoncewewouldavoidthethrong。Hesaid，quietly：
\"Ilikethethrong。\"
SowerestedinthePlazaHoteluntiltheappointedhour。Menandwomennoticedhim，andcameovertoshakehishand。Thegiganticmaninuniform；inchargeofthecarriagesatthedoor，cameinforaword。HehadopenedcarriagesforMr。ClemensattheTwenty—thirdStreetstation，andnowwantedtoclaimthathonor。Ithinkhereceivedthemostcordialwelcomeofanyonewhocame。Iamsurehedid。ItwasMarkTwain’swaytowarmtothemanofthelowersocialrank。Hewasnevertoobusy，nevertoopreoccupied，tograspthehandofsuchaman；tolistentohisstory，andtosayjustthewordsthatwouldmakethatmanhappyrememberingthem。
WeleftthePlazaHotelandpresentlywereamidthethrongofoutpouringcongregations。Ofcoursehewastheobjectonwhicheverypassingeyeturned；thepresencetowhicheveryhatwaslifted。Irealizedthatthisopenandeagerlypaidhomageofthemultitudewasstilldeartohim，notinanysmallandpettyway，butasthetributeofanation，theexpressionofthataffectionwhichinhisLondonandLiverpoolspeecheshehaddeclaredtobethelastandfinalandmostpreciousrewardthatanymancanwin，whetherbycharacterorachievement。Itwashisfinalharvest，andhehadthecouragetoclaimit——theaftermathofallhisyearsofhonorablelaborandnobleliving。
CCLXII
FROMMARKTWAIN’sMAIL
Ifthereaderhasanycuriosityastosomeofthelessusualletterswhichamanofwidepublicnotemayinspire，perhapshewillfindacertaininterestinafewselectedfromthethousandswhichyearlycametoMarkTwain。
Foronething，hewasconstantlyreceivingprescriptionsandremedieswheneverthepapersreportedoneofhisbronchialorrheumaticattacks。
Itishardlynecessarytoquoteexamplesofthese，butonlyaformofhisoccasionalreply，whichwaslikelytobeinthiswise：
DEARSIR[orMADAM]，——Itryeveryremedysenttome。IamnowonNo。87。Yoursis2，653。Iamlookingforwardtoitsbeneficialresults。
Ofcoursealargenumberofthenostrumsandpalliativesofferedwerepreparationsmadebythewildestandlongest—hairedmedicalcranks。OneofthesesentanadvertisementofacertainElixirofLife，whichwasguaranteedtocureeverything——to\"washandcleansethehumanmolecules，andsorestoreyouthandpreservelifeeverlasting。\"
Anonymouslettersarenotusuallypopularortobeencouraged，butMarkTwainhadanespecialweaknessforcomplimentsthatcameinthatway。
Theywerenotmercenarycompliments。Thewriterhadnothingtogain。
Twosuchlettersfollow——bothwritteninEnglandjustatthetimeofhisreturn。
MARKTWAIN。
DEARSIR，——Pleaseacceptapoorwidow’sgood—byandkindestwishes。
Ihavehadsomeofyourbookssenttome；haveenjoyedthemverymuch——onlywishIcouldaffordtobuysome。
Ishouldverymuchliketohaveseenyou。IhavemanyphotosofyouwhichIhavecutfromseveralpaperswhichIread。Ihaveonewhereyouarewritinginbed，whichIcutfromtheDailyNews。Likemyself，youbelieveinlotsofsleepandrest。Iam70andIfindI
needplenty。PleaseforgivethelibertyIhavetakeninwritingtoyou。IfIcan’tcometoyourfuneralmaywemeetbeyondtheriver。
MayGodguardyou，isthewishofalonelyoldwidow。
Yourssincerely，Theotherletteralsotellsitsownstory：
DEAR，KINDMARKTWAIN，——ForyearsIhavewantedtowriteandthankyouforthecomfortyouweretomeonce，onlyIneverquiteknewwhereyouwere，andbesidesIdidnotwanttobotheryou；butto—dayIwastoldbysomeonewhosawyougoingintotheliftattheSavoythatyoulookedsadandIthoughtitmightcheeryoualittletinybittohearhowyoukeptapoorlonelygirlfromruininghereyeswithcryingeverynightforlongmonths。
TenyearsagoIhadtoleavehomeandearnmylivingasagovernessandFatesentmetospendawinterwithaverydulloldcountryfamilyinthedepthsofStaffordshire。AccordingtothegenialEnglishcustom，aftermyfivechargeshadgonetobed，Itookmyeveningmealaloneintheschool—room，where\"HenryTudorhadsuppedthenightbeforeBosworth，\"andthereIhadtostaywithoutasoultospeaktotillIwenttobed。AtfirstIusedtocryeverynight，butafriendsentmeacopyofyourHuckleberryFinnandInevercriedanymore。Ikepthimhandyunderthecopy—booksandmaps，andwhenHenryTudorcommencedtostretchouthischillyhandstowardmeIgrabbedmydearHuckandheneveroncefailedme；IopenedhimatrandomandintwominutesIwasinanotherworld。That’swhyIamsogratefultoyouandsofondofyou，andIthoughtyoumightliketoknow；foritisyourselfthathasthekindheart，asiseasilyseenfromthewayyouwroteaboutthepooroldnigger。Iamastenographernowandliveathome，butIshallneverforgethowyouhelpedme。Godblessyouandspareyoulongtothoseyouaredearto。
AletterwhichcametohimsoonafterhisreturnfromEnglandcontainedaclippingwhichreportedthegoodworkdonebyChristianmissionariesintheCongo，especiallyamongnativesafflictedbytheterriblesleepingsickness。Theletteritselfconsistedmerelyofaline，whichsaid：
Won’tyougiveyourfriends，themissionaries，agoodmarkforthis？
Thewriter’snamewassigned，andMarkTwainanswered：
InChinathemissionariesarenotwanted，&sotheyoughttobedecent&goaway。ButIhavenotheardthatintheCongothemissionaryservantsofGodareunwelcometothenative。
Evidentlythosemissionariesaxepitying，compassionate，kind。HowitwouldimproveGodtotakealessonfromthem！Heinvented&
distributedthegermofthatawfuldiseaseamongthosehelpless，poorsavages，&nowHesitswithHiselbowsonthebalusters&looksdown&enjoysthiswantoncrime。Confidently，&betweenyou&me—
well，nevermind，ImightgetstruckbylightningifIsaidit。
Thosearegoodandkindlymen，thosemissionaries，buttheyareameasurelesssatireupontheirMaster。
Towhichthewriteranswered：
OwickedMr。Clemens！IhavetoaskSaintJoanofArctoprayforyou；thenoneofthesedays，whenweallstandbeforetheGoldenGatesandwenolonger\"seethroughaglassdarklyandknowonlyinpart，\"therewillbeastruggleattheheavenlyportalsbetweenJoanofArcandSt。Peter，butyourblessedJoanwillconquerandshe’llleadMr。Clemensthroughthegatesofpearlandapologizeandpleadforhim。
Ofthelettersthatirritatedhim，perhapsthefollowingisasfairasampleasany，andithasadditionalinterestinitssequel。
DEARSIR，——Ihavewrittenabook——naturally——whichfact，however，sinceIamnotyourenemy，needgiveyounooccasiontorejoice。
Norneedyougrieve，thoughIamsendingyouacopy。IfIknewofanywayofcompellingyoutoreaditIwoulddoso，butunlessthefirstfewpageshavethateffectIcandonothing。Trythefirstfewpages。Ihavedoneagreatdealmorethanthatwithyourbooks，soperhapsyouowemesomething——saytenpages。IfafterthatattemptyouputitasideIshallbesorry——foryou。
Iamafraidthattheabovelooksflippant——butthinkofthetwitteringsofthesoulofhimwhobringsinhishandanunbiddenbook，writtenbyhimself。Tosuchaonemuchisdueinthewayofindulgence。Willyourememberthat？Haveyouforgottenearlytwitteringsofyourown？
InamemorandummadeonthisletterMarkTwainwrote：
Anotheroneofthosepeculiarlydepressingletters——alettercastinartificiallyhumorousform，whilstnoartcouldmakethesubjecthumorous——tome。
Commentingfurther，hesaid：
AsIhaveremarkedbeforeaboutonethousandtimesthecoatofarmsofthehumanraceoughttoconsistofamanwithanaxonhisshoulderproceedingtowardagrindstone，oritoughttorepresenttheseveralmembersofthehumanraceholdingoutthehattooneanother；forweareallbeggars，eachinhisownway。Onebeggaristooproudtobegforpennies，butwillbegforanintroductionintosociety；anotherdoesnotcareforsociety，buthewantsapostmastership；anotherwillinveiglealawyerintoconversationandthenspongeonhimforfreeadvice。Themanwhowouldn’tdoanyofthesethingswillbegforthePresidency。Eachadmireshisowndignityandgreatlyguardsit，butinhisopiniontheothershaven’tany。
Mendicancyisamatteroftasteandtemperament，nodoubt，butnohumanbeingiswithoutsomeformofit。Iknowmyownform，youknowyours。Letusconcealthemfromviewandabusetheothers。
Thereisnomansopoorbutwhatatintervalssomemancomestohimwithanaxtogrind。Byandbytheax’saspectbecomesfamiliartotheproprietorofthegrindstone。Heperceivesthatitisthesameoldax。Ifyouareagovernoryouknowthatthestrangerwantsanoffice。Thefirsttimehearrivesyouaredeceived；hepoursoutsuchnoblepraisesofyouandyourpoliticalrecordthatyouaremovedtotears；there’salumpinyourthroatandyouarethankfulthatyouhavelivedforthishappiness。Thenthestrangerdiscloseshisax，andyouareashamedofyourselfandyourrace。Sixrepetitionswillcureyou。Afterthatyouinterruptthecomplimentsandsay，\"Yes，yes，that’sallright；nevermindaboutthat。Whatisityouwant？\"
ButyouandIareinthebusinessourselves。Everynowandthenwecarryouraxtosomebodyandaskawhet。Idon’tcarryminetostrangers——Idrawthelinethere；perhapsthatisyourway。Thisisboundtosetusuponahighandholypinnacleandmakeuslookdownincoldrebukeonpersonswhocarrytheiraxestostrangers。
Idonotknowhowtoanswerthatstranger’sletter。Iwishhehadsparedme。Nevermindabouthim——Iamthinkingaboutmyself。I
wishhehadsparedme。Thebookhasnotarrivedyet；butnomatter，Iamprejudicedagainstit。
Itwasafewdayslaterthatheadded：
Iwrotetothatman。IfellbackupontheoldOverworked，politelie，andthankedhimforhisbookandsaidIwaspromisingmyselfthepleasureofreadingit。Ofcoursethatsetmefree；Iwasnotobligedtoreaditnowatall，and，beingfree，myprejudicewasgone，andassoonasthebookcameIopenedittoseewhatitwaslike。IwasnotabletoputitdownuntilIhadfinished。Itwasanembarrassingthingtohavetowritetothatmanandconfessthatfact，butIhadtodoit。Thatfirstletterwasmerelyalie。DoyouthinkIwrotethesecondonetogivethatmanpleasure？Well，I
did，butitwassecond—handpleasure。Iwroteitfirsttogivemyselfcomfort，tomakemyselfforgettheoriginallie。
MarkTwain’sinterestwasoncearousedbythefollowing：
DEARSIR，——Ihavehadmoreorlessofyourworksonmyshelvesforyears，andbelieveIhavepracticallyacompletesetnow。Thisisnothingunusual，ofcourse，butIpresumeitwillseemtoyouunusualforanyonetokeepbooksconstantlyinsightwhichtheownerregretseverhavingread。
EverytimemyglancerestsonthebooksIdoregrethavingreadthem，anddonothesitatetotellyousotoyourface，andcarenotwhomayknowmyfeelings。You，whomustbekeptbusyattendingtoyourcorrespondence，willprobablypaylittleornoattentiontothissmallfractionofit，yetmyreasons，Ibelieve，aresoundandareprobablysharedbymorepeoplethanyouareawareof。
Probablyyouwillnotreadfarenoughthroughthistoseewhohassignedit，butifyoudo，andcaretoknowwhyIwishIhadleftyourworkunread，Iwilltellyouasbrieflyaspossibleifyouwillaskme。
GEORGEB。LAUDER。
Clemensdidnotanswertheletter，butputitinhispocket，perhapsintendingtodoso，andafewdayslater，inBoston，whenareportercalled，hehappenedtorememberit。Thereporteraskedpermissiontoprintthequeerdocument，anditappearedinhisMarkTwaininterviewnextmorning。Afewdayslaterthewriterofitsentasecondletter，thistimeexplaining：
MYDEARSIR，——Isawinto—day’spaperacopyoftheletterwhichI
wroteyouOctober26th。
Ihavereadandre—readyourworksuntilIcanalmostrecallsomeofthemwordforword。MyfamiliaritywiththemisaconstantsourceofpleasurewhichIwouldnothavemissed，andthereforetheregretwhichIhaveexpressedismorethanoffsetbythankfulness。
Believeme，theregretwhichIfeelforhavingreadyourworksisentirelyduetotheunalterablefactthatIcanneveragainhavethepleasureofreadingthemforthefirsttime。
Yoursincereadmirer，GEORGEB。LADDER。
MarkTwainpromptlyrepliedthistime：
DEARSIR，Youfooledmecompletely；Ididn’tdivinewhattheletterwasconcealing，neitherdidthenewspapermen，soyouareaverycompetentdeceiver。
Trulyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。
Itwasabouttheendof1907thatthenewSt。LouisHarborboat，wascompleted。TheeditoroftheSt。LouisRepublicreportedthatithasbeenchristened\"MarkTwain，\"andaskedforawordofcomment。Clemenssentthisline：
Maymynamesakefollowinmyrighteousfootsteps，thenneitherofuswillneedanyfireinsurance。
CCLXIII
SOMELITERARYLUNCHEONS
Howells，inhisbook，referstotheHumanRaceLuncheonClub，whichClemensonceorganizedfortheparticularpurposeofdamningthespeciesinconcert。Itwastoconsist，besideClemenshimself，ofHowells，ColonelHarvey，andPeterDunne；butitsomehowneverhappenedthateventhissmallmembershipcouldbeassembledwhiletheideawasstillfresh，andthereforepotent。
Outofit，however，grewanumberofthoseprivatesocialgatheringswhichClemenssodearlyloved——smallluncheonsanddinnersgivenathisowntable。Thefirstofthesecamealongtowardtheendof1907，whenHowellswasplanningtospendthewinterinItaly。
\"Howellsisgoingaway，\"hesaid，\"andIshouldliketogivehimastag—
party。We’llenlargetheHumanRaceClubfortheoccasion。\"
SoHowells，ColonelHarvey，MartinLittleton，AugustusThomas，RobertPorter，andPaderewskiwereinvited。Paderewskiwasunabletocome，andseveninallassembled。
Howellswasfirsttoarrive。
\"HerecomesHowells，\"Clemenssaid。\"OldHowellsathousandyearsold。\"
ButHowellsdidn’tlookit。Hisfacewasfullofgood—natureandapparenthealth，andhewasbynomeansvenerable，eitherinspeechoraction。Thomas，Porter，Littleton，andHarveydriftedin。Cocktailswereservedandluncheonwasannounced。
Claude，thebutler，hadpreparedthetablewithfineartistry——itscenteramassofroses。Therewastobenowomanintheneighborhood——Clemensannouncedthisfactasasortofwarrantforgeneralfreedomofexpression。
Thomas’splay，\"TheWitchingHour，\"wasthenattheheightofitsgreatacceptance，andthetalknaturallybeganthere。Thomastoldsomethingofthedifficultywhichhefoundinbeingabletoconvinceamanagerthatitwouldsucceed，anddeclaredittobehisownfavoritework。Ibelievetherewasnodissentingopinionastoitsartisticvalue，orconcerningitspurposeandpsychology，thoughthesehadbeenthestumbling—blocksfromamanagerialpointofview。
Whenthesubjectwasconcluded，andtherehadcomealull，ColonelHarvey，whowasseatedatClemens’sleft，said：
\"UncleMark\"——heoftencalledhimthat——\"MajorLeighhandedmeareportoftheyear’ssalesjustasIwasleaving。Itshowsyourroyaltyreturnsthisyeartobeveryclosetofiftythousanddollars。Idon’tbelievethereisanothersuchreturnfromoldbooksonrecord。\"
Thiswassaidinanundertone，toClemensonly，butwasoverheardbyoneortwoofthosewhosatnearest。Clemenswasnotunwillingtorepeatitforthebenefitofall，anddidso。Howellssaid：
\"Astatementlikethatarousesmybasestpassions。Thebooksarenogood；it’sjusttheadvertisingtheyget。\"
Clemenssaid：\"Yes，mycontractcompelsthepublishertoadvertise。Itcoststhemtwohundreddollarseverytimetheyleavetheadvertisementoutofthemagazines。\"
\"Andthreehundredeverytimeweputitin，\"saidHarvey。\"Weoftendebatewhetheritismoreprofitabletoputintheadvertisementortoleaveitout。\"
Thetalkswitchedbacktoplaysandacting。ThomasrecalledanincidentofBeerbohmTree’sperformanceof\"Hamlet。\"W。S。Gilbert，oflight—
operacelebrity，waspresentataperformance，andwhentheplayendedMrs。Treehurriedovertohimandsaid：
\"Oh，Mr。Gilbert，whatdidyouthinkofMr。Tree’srenditionofHamlet？\"
\"Remarkable，\"saidGilbert。\"Funnywithoutbeingvulgar。\"
Itwaswithsuchidletalesandtalk—playthattheafternoonpassed。Notmuchofitallislefttome，butIrememberHowellssaying，\"Diditeveroccurtoyouthatthenewspapersabolishedhell？Well，theydid——itwasneverdonebythechurch。Therewasaconsensusofnewspaperopinionthattheoldhellwithitslakeoffireandbrimstonewasanantiquatedinstitution；infactadeadletter。\"Andagain，\"IwascomingdownBroadwaylastnight，andIstoppedtolookatoneofthestreet—venderssellingthoselittletoyfightingroosters。Itwasableak，desolateevening；nobodywasbuyinganything，andashepulledthestringandkeptthoselittleroostersdancingandfightinghisremarksgrewmoreandmorecheerlessandsardonic。
\"’Japanesegamechickens，’hesaid；’prettytoys，amusethechildrenwiththeirantics。Childofthreecanoperateit。TakethemhomeforChristmas。Chicken—fightatyourownfireside。’ItriedtocatchhiseyetoshowhimthatIunderstoodhisdesolationandsorrow，butitwasnouse。Hewentondancinghistoychickens，andsaying，overandover，’Chicken—fightatyourownfireside。’\"
Theluncheonover，wewanderedbackintothedrawing—room，andpresentlyallleftbutColonelHarvey。ClemensandtheColonelwentuptothebilliard—roomandengagedinagameofcushioncaroms，attwenty—fivecentsagame。Iwasumpireandstakeholder，anditwasamostinterestingoccupation，fortheserieswascloseandaverycheerfulone。
ItendedthedaymuchtoMarkTwain’ssatisfaction，forhewasoftenestwinner。Thateveninghesaid：
\"Wewillrepeatthatluncheon；weoughttorepeatitonceamonth。
Howellswillbegone，butwemusthavetheothers。Wecannothaveathinglikethattoooften。\"
Therewas，infact，asecondstag—luncheonverysoonafter，atwhichGeorgeRiggswaspresentandthatrareIrishmusician，DenisO’Sullivan。
Itwasanotherchoiceafternoon，withamysticalqualitywhichcameofthemusicmadebyO’SullivanonsomeHindureeds—pipesofPan。ButweshallhavemoreofO’Sullivanpresently——alltoolittle，forhisdayswerefewandfleeting。
Howellscouldnotgetawayjustyet。ColonelHarvey，who，likeJamesOsgood，wouldnotfailtofindexcuseforentertainment，charteredtwodrawing—roomcars，andwithMrs。Harveytookapartyoffifty—fiveorsixtycongenialmenandwomentoLakewoodforagood—byluncheontoHowells。ItwasadayborrowedfromJune，warmandbeautiful。
Thetripdownwasasortofreception。Mostoftheguestswereacquainted，butmanyofthemdidnotoftenmeet。Therewasconstantvisitingbackandforththefulllengthofthetwocoaches。DenisO’Sullivanwasamongtheguests。Helookedinthebloomofhealth，andhehadhispipesandplayedhismysticairs；thenhebroughtoutthetin—
whistleofIreland，andblewsuchrollickingmelodiesascaperingfairiesinventedalongtimeago。Thiswasonthetraingoingdown。
Therewasabriefprogramfollowingthelight—heartedfeasting——aninformalprogramfittingtothatsunnyday。ItopenedwithsomerecitationsbyMissKittyCheatham；thenColonelHarveyintroducedHowells，withmentionofhiscomingjourney。Asarule，Howellsdoesnotenjoyspeaking。Heiswillingtoreadanaddressonoccasion，buthehasownedthattheprospectoftalkingwithouthisnotesterrifieshim。Thistime，however，therewasnoreluctance，thoughhehadpreparednospeech。
Hewasamongfriends。Helookedevenhappywhenhegotonhisfeet，andhespokelikeahappyman。HetalkedaboutMarkTwain。Itwasalldelicate，deliciouschaffingwhichshowedHowellsathisverybest——alltooshortforhislisteners。
Clemens，replying，returnedthechaff，andrambledamusinglyamonghisfancies，closingwithafewbeautifulwordsof\"Godspeedandsafereturn\"
tohisoldcomradeandfriend。
ThenoncemorecameDenisandhispipes。Noonewilleverforgethispartoftheprogram。ThelittlesampleswehadheardonthetrainwereexpandedandmultipliedandelaboratedinawaythatfairlyswepthislistenersoutofthemselvesintothatlandwhereperhapsDenishimselfwandersplayingnow；foramonthlater，strongandlustyandbeautifulasheseemedthatday，hesuddenlyvanishedfromamongusandhisreedsweresilent。ItneveroccurredtousthenthatDeniscoulddie；andashefinishedeachmelodyandsongtherewasashoutforarepetition，andI
thinkwecouldhavesatthereandletthedaysandyearsslipawayunheeded，fortimeisbanishedbymusiclikethat，andonewondersifitmightnotevendivertdeath。
Itwasdarkwhenwecrossedtheriverhomeward；themyriadlightsfromheaven—climbingwindowsmadeanenchantedcityinthesky。Theevening，liketheday，waswarm，andsomeoftheparty。lefttheferry—cabintoleanoverandwatchthemagicspectacle，thelikeofwhichisnottobefoundelsewhereontheearth。
CCLXIV
\"CAPTAINSTORMFIELD\"INPRINT
Duringthefortyyearsorsothathadelapsedsincethepublicationofthe\"GatesAjar\"andtheperpetrationofMarkTwain’sintendedburlesque，builtonCaptainNedWakeman’sdream，theChristianreligioninitsmoreorthodoxaspectshadundergonesomelargemodifications。Itwasnolongerregardedasdangeroustospeaklightlyofhell，oreventosuggestthatthegoldenstreetsandjeweledarchitectureoftheskymightberegardedassymbolsofhoperatherthanexhibitsofactualbullionandlapidaryconstruction。Clemensre—readhisextravaganza，CaptainStoymfieldsVisittoHeaven，gaveitamodernizingtouchhereandthere，andhandedittohispublishers，whomusthaveagreedthatitwasnolongerdangerous，foritwaspromptlyacceptedandappearedintheDecemberandJanuarynumbers1907—8ofHarper’sMagazine，andwasalsoissuedasasmallbook。Iftherewereanyreaderswhostillfounditblasphemous，orevenirreverent，theydidnotsayso；thelettersthatcame——andtheywereagoodmany——expressedenjoymentandapproval，alsosomeofthemagooddealofsatisfactionthatMarkTwain\"hadreturnedtohisearlierform。\"
ThepublicationofthisstoryrecalledtoClemens’smindanotherheresysomewhatsimilarwhichhehadwrittenduringthewinterof1891and1892
inBerlin。Thiswasadreamofhisown，inwhichhehadsetoutonatrainwiththeevangelistSamJonesandtheArchbishopofCanterburyfortheotherworld。HehadnoticedthathisticketwastoadifferentdestinationthantheArchbishop’s，andso，whentheprelatenoddedandfinallywenttosleep，hechangedtheticketsintheirhatswithdisturbingresults。Clemensthoughtagooddealofthisfancywhenhewroteit，andwhenMrs。ClemenshadrefusedtoallowittobeprintedhehadlaboriouslytranslateditintoGerman，withsomeideaofpublishingitsurreptitiously；buthisconsciencehadbeentoomuchforhim。Hehadconfessed，andeventheGermanversionhadbeensuppressed。
Clemensoftenallowedhisfancytoplaywiththeideaoftheorthodoxheaven，itscuriositiesofarchitecture，anditsemploymentsofcontinuousprayer，psalm—singing，andharpistry。
\"Whatachildishnotionitwas，\"hesaid，\"andhowcuriousthatonlyalittlewhileagohumanbeingsweresowillingtoacceptsuchfragileevidencesaboutaplaceofsomuchimportance。Ifweshouldfindsomewhereto—dayanancientbookcontaininganaccountofabeautifulandbloomingtropicalParadisesecretedinthecenterofeternalicebergs——anaccountwrittenbymenwhodidnotevenclaimtohaveseenitthemselves——nogeographicalsocietyonearthwouldtakeanystockinthatbook，yetthataccountwouldbequiteasauthenticasanywehaveofheaven。IfGodhassuchaplacepreparedforus，andreallywantedustoknowit，Hecouldhavefoundsomebetterwaythanabooksoliabletoalterationsandmisinterpretation。Godhashadnotroubletoprovetomanthelawsoftheconstellationsandtheconstructionoftheworld，andsuchthingsasthat，noneofwhichagreewithHisso—calledbook。Astoahereafter，wehavenottheslightestevidencethatthereisany——noevidencethatappealstologicandreason。Ihaveneverseenwhattomeseemedanatomofproofthatthereisafuturelife。\"
Then，afteralongpause，headded：
\"Andyet——Iamstronglyinclinedtoexpectone。\"
CCLXV
LOTOSCLUBHONORS
ItwasonJanuary11，1908，thatMarkTwainwasgivenhislastgreatbanquetbytheLotosClub。Theclubwasabouttomoveagain，intosplendidnewquarters，anditwishedtoentertainhimoncemoreinitsoldrooms。
Heworewhite，andamidthethrongofblack—cladmenwaslikeawhitemothamongahordeofbeetles。Theroomfairlyswarmedwiththem，andtheyseemedlikelytooverwhelmhim。
PresidentLawrencewastoast—masteroftheevening，andheendedhiscustomaryaddressbyintroducingRobertPorter，whohadbeenMarkTwain’shostatOxford。PortertoldsomethingofthegreatOxfordweek，andendedbyintroducingMarkTwain。IthadbeenexpectedthatClemenswouldtellofhisLondonexperiences。Insteadofdoingthis，hesaidhehadstartedanewkindofcollection，acollectionofcompliments。Hehadpickedupanumberofvaluableonesabroadandsomeathome。Hereadselectionsfromthem，andkeptthecompanygoingwithcheersandmerrimentuntiljustbeforethecloseofhisspeech。Thenherepeated，inhismostimpressivemanner，thatstatelyconclusionofhisLiverpoolspeech，andtheroombecamestillandtheeyesofhishearersgrewdim。
Itmayhavebeenevenmoremovingthanwhenoriginallygiven，fornowtheclosingwords，\"homewardbound，\"hadonlythedeepermeaning。
Dr。JohnMacArthurfollowedwithaspeechthatwasasgoodasermonasanyheeverdelivered，andcloseditbysaying：
\"Idonotwantmentoprepareforheaven，buttopreparetoremainonearth，anditissuchmenasMarkTwainwhomakeothermennotfittodie，butfittolive。\"
AndrewCarnegiealsospoke，andColonelHarvey，andasthespeakingendedRobertPortersteppedupbehindClemensandthrewoverhisshouldersthescarletOxfordrobewhichhadbeensurreptitiouslybrought，andplacedthemortar—boardcapuponhishead，whilethedinersvociferatedtheirapproval。Clemenswasquitecalm。
\"Ilikethis，\"hesaid，whenthenoisehadsubsided。\"Ilikeitssplendidcolor。Iwoulddressthatwayallthetime，ifIdared。\"
InthecabgoinghomeImentionedthesuccessofhisspeech，howwellithadbeenreceived。
\"Yes，\"hesaid；\"butthenIhavetheadvantageofknowingnowthatIamlikelytobefavorablyreceived，whateverIsay。Iknowthatmyaudiencesarewarmandresponseful。Itisanimmenseadvantagetofeelthat。Therearecoldplacesinalmosteveryspeech，andifyouraudiencenoticesthemandbecomescool，yougetachillyourselfinthosezones，anditishardtowarmupagain。Perhapstherehaven’tbeensomanylately；butIhavebeenacquaintedwiththemmorethanonce。\"AndthenI
couldnothelprememberingthatdeadlyWhittierbirthdayspeechofmorethanthirtyyearsbefore——thatbleak，arcticexperiencefrombeginningtoend。
\"Wehavejusttimeforfourgames，\"hesaid，aswereachedthebilliard—
room；buttherewasnosignofstoppingwhenthefourgameswereover。
Wewerewinningalternately，andneithernotedthetime。Iwasleavingbyanearlytrain，andwaswillingtoplayallnight。Themilk—wagonswererattlingoutsidewhenhesaid：
\"Well，perhapswe’dbetterquitnow。Itseemsprettyearly，though。\"I
lookedatmywatch。Itwasquartertofour，andwesaidgoodnight。
CCLXVI
AWINTERINBERMUDA
EdmundClarenceStedmandiedsuddenlyathisdesk，January18，1908，andClemens，inresponsetotelegrams，sentthismessage：
Idonotwishtotalkaboutit。Hewasavaluedfriendfromdaysthatdatebackthirty—fiveyears。Hislossstunsmeandunfitsmetospeak。
HerecalledtheNewEnglanddinnerswhichheusedtoattend，andwherehehadoftenmetStedman。
\"Thoseweregreataffairs，\"hesaid。\"Theybeganearly，andtheyendedearly。IusedtogodownfromHartfordwiththefeelingthatitwasn’tanall—nightsupper，andthatitwasgoingtobeanenjoyabletime。
ChoateandDepewandStedmanwereintheirprimethen——wewereallyoungmentogether。Theirspeecheswerealwaysworthlisteningto。Stedmanwasaprominentfigurethere。Theredon’tseemtobeanysuchmennow——
oranysuchoccasions。\"
Stedmanwasoneofthelastoftheoldliterarygroup。Aldrichhaddiedtheyearbefore。HowellsandClemenswerethelingering\"lastleaves。\"
Clemensgavesomefurtherluncheonentertainmentstohisfriends，andaddedthefeatureof\"doe\"luncheons——prettyaffairswhere，withClaraClemensashostess，wereentertainedagroupofbrilliantwomen，suchasMrs。KateDouglasRiggs，GeraldineFarrax，Mrs。RobertCollier，Mrs。
FrankDoubleday，andothers。Icannotreportthoseluncheons，forIwasnotpresent，andthedriftoftheproceedingscametomelaterintoofragmentaryaformtobeusedashistory；butIgatheredfromClemenshimselfthathehaddoneallofthetalking，andIthinktheymusthavebeenverypleasantafternoons。Amongtheacknowledgmentsthatfollowedoneoftheseaffairsisthischaracteristicword—playfromMrs。Riggs：
N。B。——Aladywhoisinvitedtoandattendsadoeluncheonis，ofcourse，adoe。Thequestionis，ifsheattendstwodoeluncheonsinsuccessionissheadoe—doe？Ifsoissheextinctandcanneverattendathird？
Luncheonsandbilliards，however，failedtogivesufficientbrightnesstothedullwinterdays，ortoinsurehimagainstanimpendingbronchialattack，andtowardtheendofJanuaryhesailedawaytoBermuda，whereskieswerebluerandroadsidesgaywithbloom。Hissojournwasbriefthistime，butlongenoughtocurehim，hesaid，andhecamebackfullofhappiness。Hehadbeendrivingaboutovertheislandwithanewlyadoptedgranddaughter，littleMargaretBlackmer，whomhehadmetonemorninginthehoteldining—room。Apartofhisdictatedstorywillconveyherethisprettyexperience。
MyfirstdayinBermudapaidadividend——infactadoubledividend：
itbrokethebackofmycoldanditaddedajeweltomycollection。
AsIenteredthebreakfast—roomthefirstobjectIsawinthatspaciousandfar—reachingplacewasalittlegirlseatedsolitaryatatablefortwo。Ibentdownoverherandpattedhercheekandsaid：
\"Idon’tseemtorememberyourname；whatisit？\"
Bythesparkleinherbrowneyesitamusedher。Shesaid：
\"Why，you’veneverknownit，Mr。Clemens，becauseyou’veneverseenmebefore。\"
\"Why，thatistrue，nowthatIcometothink；itcertainlyistrue，anditmustbeoneofthereasonswhyIhaveforgottenyourname。
ButIrememberitnowperfectly——it’sMary。\"
Shewasamusedagain；amusedbeyondsmiling；amusedtoachuckle，andshesaid：
\"Ohno，itisn’t；it’sMargaret。\"
Ifeignedtobeashamedofmymistakeandsaid：
\"Ah，well，Icouldn’thavemadethatmistakeafewyearsago；butI
amold，andoneofage’searliestinfirmitiesisadamagedmemory；
butIamclearernow——clearer—headed——itallcomesbacktomejustasifitwereyesterday。It’sMargaretHolcomb。\"
Shewassurprisedintoalaughthistime，theripplinglaughthatahappybrookmakeswhenitbreaksoutoftheshadeintothesunshine，andshesaid：
\"Oh，youarewrongagain；youdon’tgetanythingright。Itisn’tHolcomb，it’sBlackmer。\"
Iwasashamedagain，andconfessedit；then：
\"Howoldareyou，dear？\"
\"Twelve；New—Year’s。Twelveandamonth。\"
Wewereclosecomrades—inseparables，infact—foreightdays。Everydaywemadepedestrianexcursions——calledthemthatanyway，andhonestlytheywereintendedforthat，andthatiswhattheywouldhavebeenbutforthepersistentintrusionofagrayandgraveandrough—coateddonkeybythenameofMaud。Maudwasfourfeetlong；
shewasmountedonfourslenderlittlestilts，andhadearsthatdoubledheraltitudewhenshestoodthemupstraight。Hertenderwasalittlebitofacartwithseatroomfortwoinit，andyoucouldfalloutofitwithoutknowingit，itwassoclosetotheground。Thisbatterywasincommandofanice，grave，dignified，gentlefacedlittleblackboywhoseagewasabouttwelve，andwhosename，forsomereasonorother，wasReginald。ReginaldandMaud——I
shallnoteasilyforgetthosenames，northecombinationtheystoodfor。Thetripsgoingandcomingwerefiveorsixmiles，anditgenerallytookusthreehourstomakeit。ThiswasbecauseMaudsetthepace。Whenevershedetectedanascendinggradesherespectedit；shestoppedandsaidwithherears：
\"Thisisgettingunsatisfactory。Wewillcamphere。\"
ThewholeideaoftheseexcursionswasthatMargaretandIshouldemploythemforthegatheringofstrength，bywalking，yetwewereoftenerinthecartthanoutofit。ShedroveandIsuperintended。
InthecourseofthefirstexcursionsIfoundabeautifullittleshellonthebeachatSpanishPoint；itshingewasoldanddry，andthetwohalvescameapartinmyhand。IgaveoneofthemtoMargaretandsaid：
\"Nowdear，sometimeorotherinthefutureIshallrunacrossyousomewhere，anditmayturnoutthatitisnotyouatall，butwillbesomegirlthatonlyresemblesyou。Ishallbesayingtomyself’IknowthatthisisaMargaretbythelookofher，butIdon’tknowforsurewhetherthisismyMargaretorsomebodyelse’s’；but，nomatter，Icansoonfindout，forIshalltakemyhalfshelloutofmypocketandsay，’IthinkyouaremyMargaret，butIamnotcertain；ifyouaremyMargaretyoucanproducetheotherhalfofthisshell。’\"
NextmorningwhenIenteredthebreakfast—roomandsawthechildI
approachedandscannedhersearchinglyallover，thensaid，sadly：
\"No，Iammistaken；itlookslikemyMargaret，——butitisn’t，andI
amsosorry。Ishallgoawayandcrynow。\"
Hereyesdancedtriumphantly，andshecriedout：
\"No，youdon’thaveto。There！\"andshefetchedouttheidentifyingshell。
Iwasbesidemyselfwithgratitudeandjoyfulsurprise，andrevealeditfromeverypore。Thechildcouldnothaveenjoyedthisthrillinglittledramamoreifwehadbeenplayingitonthestage。Manytimesafterwardsheplayedthechiefpartherself，pretendingtobeindoubtastomyidentityandchallengingmetoproducemyhalfoftheshell。Shewasalwayshopingtocatchmewithoutit，butI
alwaysdefeatedthatgame——whereforeshecametorecognizeatlastthatIwasnotonlyold，butverysmart。
Sometimes，whentheywerenotwalkingordriving，theysatontheveranda，andhepreparedhistory—lessonsforlittleMargaretbymakinggrotesquefiguresoncardswithnumerouslegsandarmsandotherfantasticsymbolsendfeaturestofixthelengthofsomeking’sreign。
ForWilliamtheConqueror，forinstance，whoreignedtwenty—oneyears，hedrewafigureofelevenlegsandtenarms。Itwasthepropermethodofimpressingfactsuponthemindofachild。ItcarriedhimbacktothosedaysatElmirawhenhehadarrangedforhisownlittlegirlsthegameofkings。AMissWallace，afriendofMargaret’s，andusuallyoneofthepedestrianparty，haswrittenadaintybookofthoseBermudiandays。
——[MarkTwainandtheHappyIslands，byElizabethWallace。]
MissWallacesays：
Margaretfeltforhimthedeepaffectionthatchildrenhaveforanolderpersonwhounderstandsthemandtreatsthemwithrespect。Mr。
Clemensnevertalkeddowntoher，butconsideredheropinionswithasweetdignity。
Thereweresomeprettysequelstotheshellincident。AfterMarkTwainhadreturnedtoNewYork，andMargaretwasthere，shecalledonedaywithhermother，andsentuphercard。Hesentbackword，saying：
\"Iseemtorememberthename；butifthisisreallythepersonwhomIthinkitisshecanidentifyherselfbyacertainshellIoncegaveher，ofwhichIhavetheotherhalf。Ifthetwohalvesfit，I
shallknowthatthisisthesamelittleMargaretthatIremember。\"
Themessagewentdown，andtheotherhalfoftheshellwaspromptlysentup。MarkTwainhadthetwohalf—shellsincisedfirmlyingold，andoneoftheseheworeonhiswatch—fob，andsenttheothertoMargaret。
HeafterwardcorrespondedwithMargaret，andoncewroteher：
I’malreadymakingmistakes。WhenIwasinNewYork，sixweeksago，IwasonacornerofFifthAvenueandIsawasmallgirl——notabigone——startacrossfromtheoppositecorner，andIexclaimedtomyselfjoyfully，\"ThatiscertainlymyMargaret！\"soIrushedtomeether。ButasshecamenearerIbegantodoubt，andsaidtomyself，\"It’saMargaret——thatisplainenough——butI’mafraiditissomebodyelse’s。\"SowhenIwaspassingherIheldmyshellsoshecouldn’thelpbutseeit。Dear，sheonlyglancedatitandpassedon！Iwonderedifshecouldhaveoverlookedit。Itseemedbesttofindout；soIturnedandfollowedandcaughtupwithher，andsaid，deferentially；\"DearMiss，Ialreadyknowyourfirstnamebythelookofyou，butwouldyoumindtellingmeyourotherone？\"Shewasvexedandsaidprettysharply，\"It’sDouglas，ifyou’resoanxioustoknow。Iknowyournamebyyourlooks，andI’dadviseyoutoshutyourselfupwithyourpenandinkandwritesomemorerubbish。Iamsurprisedthattheyallowyoutorun’atlarge。Youarelikelytogetrunoverbyababy—carriageanytime。Runalongnowanddon’tletthecowsbiteyou。\"
Whatanidea！Therearen’tanycowsinFifthAvenue。ButIdidn’tsmile；Ididn’tletontoperceivehowunculturedshewas。Shewasfromthecountry，ofcourse，anddidn’tknowwhatacomicalblunder。
shewasmaking。
Mr。Rogers’shealthwasverypoorthatwinter，andClemensurgedhimtotryBermuda，andofferedtogobackwithhim；sotheysailedawaytothesummerisland，andthoughMargaretwasgone，therewasotherentertainingcompany——othergranddaughterstobeadopted，andnewfriendsandoldfriends，anddiversionsofmanysorts。Mr。Rogers’sson—in—law，WilliamEvartsBenjamin，camedownandjoinedthelittlegroup。ItwasoneofMarkTwain’srealholidays。Mr。Rogers’shealthimprovedrapidly，andMarkTwainwasinfinetrim。ToMrs。Rogers，attheendofthefirstweek，hewrote：
DEARMRS。ROGERS，Heisgettingalongsplendidly！Thiswastheveryplaceforhim。Heenjoyshimself&isasquarrelsomeasacat。
ButhewillgetabacksetifBenjamingoeshome。Benjaministhebrightestmanintheseregions，&thebestcompany。Bright？Heismuchmorethanthat，heisbrilliant。Hekeepsthecrowdintenselyalive。
Withlove&allgoodwishes。
S。L。C。
MarkTwainandHenryRogersweremuchtogetherandmuchobserved。Theywereoftenreferredtoas\"theKing\"and\"theRajah，\"anditwasalwaysaquestionwhetheritwas\"theKing\"whotookcareof\"theRajah，\"orviceversa。Therewasgenerallyagrouptogatheraroundthem，andClemenswassureofanattentiveaudience，whetherhewantedtoairhisphilosophies，hisviewsofthehumanrace，ortoreadaloudfromtheversesofKipling。
\"Iamnotfondofallpoetry，\"hewouldsay；\"butthere’ssomethinginKiplingthatappealstome。Iguesshe’sjustaboutmylevel。\"
MissWallacerecallscertainKiplingreadingsinhisroom，whenhisfriendsgatheredtolisten。
OnthoseKiplingeveningsthe’mise—en—scene’wasastrikingone。
Thebarehotelroom，thepinewoodworkandpinefurniture，loosewindowswhichrattledinthesea—wind。Onceinawhileagustofasthmaticmusicfromthespiritlessorchestradownstairscameupthehallway。Yellow，unprotectedgas—lightsburneduncertainly，andMarkTwaininthemidstofthislayonhisbedtherewasnocouch
stillinhiswhitesergesuit，withthelightfromthejetshiningdownonthecrownofhissilverhair，makingitgleamandglistenlikefrostedthreads。
Inonehandheheldhisbook，intheotherhehadhispipe，whichheusedprincipallytogesturewithinthemostdramaticpassages。
Margaret’ssmallsuccessorsbecametheearliestmembersoftheAngelFishClub，whichClemensconcludedtoorganizeafteravisittothespectacularBermudaaquarium。Theprettyangel—fishsuggestedyouthandfemininebeautytohim，andhisadoptedgranddaughtersbecameangel—fishtohimfromthattimeforward。Heboughtlittleenamelangel—fishpins，andcarriedanumberofthemwithhimmostofthetime，sothathecouldcreatemembershiponshortnotice。Itwasjustanotheroftheharmlessandhappydiversionsofhisgentlerside。Hewasalwaysfondofyouthandfreshness。Heregardedthedecrepitudeofoldageasanunnecessarypartoflife。Oftenhesaid：
\"IfIhadbeenhelpingtheAlmightywhen，Hecreatedman，IwouldhavehadHimbeginattheotherend，andstarthumanbeingswitholdage。Howmuchbetteritwouldhavebeentostartoldandhaveallthebitternessandblindnessofageinthebeginning！Onewouldnotmindthenifhewerelookingforwardtoajoyfulyouth。Thinkofthejoyousprospectofgrowingyounginsteadofold！Thinkoflookingforwardtoeighteeninsteadofeighty！Yes，theAlmightymadeapoorjobofit。IwishHehadinvitedmyassistance。\"
Tooneoftheangelfishhewrote，justafterhisreturn：
Imissyou，dear。ImissBermuda，too，butnotsomuchasImissyou；foryouwererare，andoccasionalandselect，andLtd。；whereasBermuda’scharmsand，graciousnesseswerefreeandcommonandunrestricted——liketherain，youknow，whichfallsuponthejustandtheunjustalike；athingwhichwouldnothappenifIweresuperintendingtherain’saffairs。No，Iwouldrainsoftlyandsweetlyuponthejust，butwheneverIcaughtasampleoftheunjustoutdoorsIwoulddrownhim。
CCLXVII
VIEWSANDADDRESSES
[AsIambeginningthischapter，April16，1912，thenewscomesoftheloss，onherfirsttrip，ofthegreatWhiteStarLinesteamerTitanic，withthedestructionofmanypassengers，amongwhomareFrankD。Millet，WilliamT。Stead，IsadoreStraus，JohnJacobAstor，andotherdistinguishedmen。Theydiedasheroes，remainingwiththeshipinorderthatthewomenandchildrenmightbesaved。
ItwasthekindofdeathFrankMilletwouldhavewishedtodie。
Hewasalwaysasoldier——aknight。Hehasappearedfromtimetotimeinthesepages，forhewasadearfriendoftheClemenshousehold。OneofAmerica’sforemostpainters；atthetimeofhisdeathhewasheadoftheAmericanAcademyofArtsinRome。]
MarkTwainmadeanumberofaddressesduringthespringof1908。
HespokeattheCartoonists’dinner，verysoonafterhisreturnfromBermuda；hespokeattheBooksellers’banquet，expressinghisdebtofobligationtothosewhohadpublishedandsoldhisbooks；hedeliveredafineaddressatthedinnergivenbytheBritishSchoolsandUniversityClubatDelmonico’s，May25th，inhonorofQueenVictoria’sbirthday。
InthatspeechhepaidhightributetotheQueenforherattitudetowardAmerica，duringthecrisisoftheCivilWax，andtoherroyalconsort，PrinceAlbert。
WhatshedidforusinAmericainourtimeofstormandstressweshallnotforget，andwheneverwecallittomindweshallalwaysgratefullyrememberthewiseandrighteousmindthatguidedherinitandsustainedandsupportedher——PrinceAlbert’s。Weneednottalkanyidletalkhereto—nightabouteitherpossibleorimpossiblewarbetweentwocountries；therewillbenowarwhileweremainsaneandthesonofVictoriaandAlbertsitsuponthethrone。Inconclusion，IbelieveImayjustlyclaimtoutterthevoiceofmycountryinsayingthatweholdhimindeephonor，andalsoincordiallywishinghimalonglifeandahappyreign。
ButperhapshismostimpressiveappearancewasatthededicationofthegreatCityCollegeMay14，1908，wherePresidentJohnFinley，whohadbeenstrugglingalongwithinsufficientroom，wastohavespaceatlastforhisfreerandfullereducationalundertakings。Agreatnumberofhonoredscholars，statesmen，anddiplomatsassembledonthecollegecampus，aspaciousopencourtsurroundedbystatelycollegearchitectureofmedievaldesign。Thesedistinguishedguestswerecladintheiracademicrobes，andtheprocessioncouldnothavebeenwidelydifferentfromthatoneatOxfordofayearbefore。Buttherewassomethingratherfearsomeaboutit，too。Akindofscaffoldinghadbeenrearedinthecenterofthecampusfortheceremonies；andwhenthosegravemenintheirrobesofstatestoodgroupeduponitthepicturewasstrikinglysuggestiveofoneofGeorgeCruikshank’sdrawingsofanexecutionsceneattheTowerofLondon。Manyoftherobeswereblack——thesewouldbethepriests——andthefewscarletoneswouldbethecardinalswhomighthaveassembledforsomeroyalmartyrdom。TherewasabrightMaysunlightoveritall，oneofthosestill，coolbrightnesseswhichservedtoheightentheweirdeffect。Iamsurethatothersfeltitbesidesmyself，foreverybodyseemedwordlessandawed，evenattimeswhentherewasnooccasionforsilence。Therewassomethingofanotherageaboutthewholesetting，tosaytheleast。
Welefttheplaceinamotor—car，acrowdofboysfollowingafter。AsClemensgotintheygatheredaroundthecarandgavethecollegeyell，endingwith\"Twain！Twain！Twain！\"andaddedthreecheersforTomSawyer，HuckFinn，andPudd’nheadWilson。Theycalledforaspeech，butheonlysaidafewwordsinapologyfornotgrantingtheirrequest。HemadeaspeechtothemthatnightattheWaldorf——whereheproposedfortheCityCollegeachairofcitizenship，anideawhichmetwithheartyapplause。
Inthesameaddresshereferredtothe\"GodTrust\"mottoonthecoins，andspokeapprovinglyofthePresident’sorderforitsremoval。
WedonottrustinGod，intheimportantmattersoflife，andnotevenaministeroftheGospelwilltakeanycoinforacentmorethanitsacceptedvaluebecauseofthatmotto。Ifcholerashouldeverreachtheseshoresweshouldprobablypraytobedeliveredfromtheplague，butwewouldputourmaintrustintheBoardofHealth。
Nextmorning，commentingonthereportofthisspeech，hesaid：
\"IfonlythereporterswouldnottrytoimproveonwhatIsay。Theyseemtomissthefactthattheveryartofsayingathingeffectivelyisinitsdelicacy，andastheycan’treproducethemannerandintonationintypetheymakeitemphaticandclumsyintryingtoconveyittothereader。\"
Ipleadedthatthereporterswereoftenyoungmen，eager，andunmellowedintheirsenseofliteraryart。
\"Yes，\"heagreed，\"theyaresoafraidtheirreaderswon’tseemygoodpointsthattheysetupredflagstomarkthemandbeatagong。Theymeanwell，butIwishtheywouldn’tdoit。\"
Hereferredtotheportionofhisspeechconcerningthemottoonthecoins。Hehadfreelyexpressedsimilarsentimentsonotherpublicoccasions，andhehadreceivedalettercriticizinghimforsayingthatwedonotreallytrustinGodinanyfinancialmatter。
\"Iwantedtoanswerit，\"hesaid；\"butIdestroyedit。Itdidn’tseemworthnoticing。\"
Iaskedhowthemottohadoriginated。
\"About1853someidiotinCongresswantedtoannouncetotheworldthatthiswasareligiousnation，andproposedputtingitthere，andnootherCongressmanhadcourageenoughtoopposeit，ofcourse。Ittookcourageinthosedaystodoathinglikethat；butIthinkthesamethingwouldhappento—day。\"
\"Stillthecountryhasbecomebroader。IttookabravemanbeforetheCivilWartoconfesshehadreadthe’AgeofReason’。\"
\"Soitdid，andyetthatseemsamildbooknow。IreaditfirstwhenI
wasacubpilot，readitwithfearandhesitation，butmarvelingatitsfearlessnessandwonderfulpower。Ireaditagainayearortwoago，forsomereason，andwasamazedtoseehowtameithadbecome。ItseemedthatPainewasapologizingeverywhereforhurtingthefeelingsofthereader。\"
Hedrifted，naturally，intoadiscussionoftheKnickerbockerTrustCompany’ssuspension，whichhadtiedupsomefifty—fivethousanddollarsofhiscapital，andwonderedhowmanyweretrustinginGodforthereturnoftheseimperiledsums。Clemenshimself，atthistime，didnotexpecttocomeoutwholefromthatdisaster。Hehadsaidverylittlewhenthenewscame，thoughitmeantthathisimmediatefortuneswerelockedup，anditcamenearstoppingthebuildingactivitiesatRedding。Itwasonlythesmallerthingsoflifethatirritatedhim。Heoftenmetlargecalamitieswithaserenitywhichalmostresembledindifference。IntheKnickerbockersituationheevenfoundhumorastimepassed，andwroteanumberofgayletters，someofwhichfoundtheirwayintoprint。
ItshouldbeaddedthatintheendtherewasnolosstoanyoftheKnickerbockerdepositors。
CCLXVIII
REDDING
ThebuildingofthenewhomeatReddinghadbeengoingsteadilyforwardforsomethingmorethanayear。JohnMeadHowellshadmadetheplans；
W。W。SunderlandandhissonPhilip，ofDanbury，Connecticut，werethebuilders，andintheabsenceofMissClemens，thenonaconcerttour，MarkTwain’ssecretary，MissI。V。Lyon，hadsuperintendedthefurnishing。
\"InnocenceatHome，\"astheplacewasoriginallynamed，wastobereadyforitsoccupantinJune，witheverydetailinplace，ashedesired。HehadnevervisitedRedding；hehadscarcelyevenglancedattheplansordiscussedanyofthedecorationsofthenewhome。Hehadrequiredonlythatthereshouldbeonegreatliving—roomfortheorchestrelle，andanotherbigroomforthebilliard—table，withplentyofaccommodationsforguests。Hehadrequiredthatthebilliard—roombered，forsomethinginhisnatureansweredtothewarmluxuryofthatcolor，particularlyinmomentsofdiversion。Besides，hisotherbilliard—roomshadbeenred，andsuchassociationmaynotbelightlydisregarded。Hisoneotherrequirementwasthattheplaceshouldbecomplete。
\"Idon’twanttoseeit，\"hesaid，\"untilthecatispurringonthehearth。\"
Howellssays：
\"Hehadgrownsowearyofchange，andsoindifferenttoit，thathewaswithoutinterest。\"
Butitwasrather，Ithink，thathewasafraidoflosinginterestbybecomingweariedwithdetailswhichwerelikelytoexasperatehim；also，hewantedthedramaticsurpriseofwalkingintoahomethathadbeenconjuredintoexistenceaswithaword。
Itwasexpectedthatthemovewouldbemadeearlyinthemonth；butthereweredelays，anditwasnotuntilthe18thofJunethathetookpossession。
Theplan，atthistime，wasonlytousetheReddingplaceasasummerresidence，andtheFifthAvenuehousewasnotdismantled。Afewdaysbeforethe18ththeservants，withoneexception，weretakenuptothenewhouse，ClemensandmyselfremaininginthelonelinessofNo。21，attendingtothelettersinthemorningandplayingbilliardstherestofthetime，waitingfortheappointeddayandtrain。Itwasreallyapleasantthreedays。Heinventedanewgame，andwewereriotousandlaughedasloudlyaswepleased。Ithinkhetalkedverylittleofthenewhomewhichhewassosoontosee。Itwasreferredtonooftenerthanonceortwiceaday，andthenIbelieveonlyinconnectionwithcertainofthebilliard—roomarrangements。Ihavewonderedsincewhatpictureofithecouldhavehadinhismind，forhehadneverseenaphotograph。
Hehadageneralideathatitwasbuiltuponahill，andthatitsarchitecturewasoftheItalianvillaorder。IconfessIhadmomentsofanxiety，forIhadselectedthelandforhim，andhadbeenmoreorlessaccessoryotherwise。Ididnotreallyworry，forIknewhowbeautifulandpeacefulitallwas；alsosomethingofhistasteandneeds。
Ithadbeenadryspring，andcountryroadsweredusty，sothatthosewhowereresponsiblehadbeenprayingforrain，tobefollowedbyapleasantdayforhisarrival。Bothpetitionsweregranted；June18thwouldfallonThursday，andMondaynighttherecameagood，thorough，andrefreshingshowerthatwashedthevegetationcleanandlaidthedust。Themorningofthe18thwasbrightandsunnyandcool。Clemenswasupandshavedbysixo’clockinordertobeintime，thoughthetraindidnotleaveuntilfourintheafternoon——anexpressnewlytimedtostopatRedding——itsfirsttripscheduledforthedayofMarkTwain’sarrival。
Wewerestillplayingbilliardswhenwordwasbroughtupthatthecabwaswaiting。Mydaughter，Louise，whoseschoolonLongIslandhadclosedthatday，waswithus。ClemensworehiswhiteflannelsandaPanamahat，andatthestationagroupquicklycollected，reportersandothers，tointerviewhimandspeedhimtohisnewhome。Hewascordialandtalkative，andquiteevidentlyfullofpleasantanticipation。Areporterortwoandaspecialphotographercamealong，tobepresentathisarrival。
Thenew，quicktrain，thegreen，flyinglandscape，withglimpsesoftheSoundandwhitesails，thehillsidesandclearstreamsbecomingrapidlysteeperanddearerasweturnednorthward：allseemedtogratifyhim，andwhenhespokeatallitwasapprovingly。Thehourandahalfrequiredtocoverthesixtymilesofdistanceseemedveryshort。AsthetrainsloweddownfortheReddingstation，hesaid：
\"We’llleavethisboxofcandy\"——hehadboughtalargeboxontheway——
\"thosecoloredporterssometimeslikecandy，andwecangetsomemore。\"
Hedrewoutagreathandfulofsilver。
\"Givethemsomething——giveeverybodyliberallythatdoesanyservice。\"
Therewasasortofopen—airreceptioninwaiting。Reddinghadrecognizedtheoccasionashistoric。Avariedassemblageofvehiclesfestoonedwithflowershadgatheredtoofferagallantcountrywelcome。
Itwasnowalittlebeforesixo’clockofthatlongJuneday，stillanddreamlike；andtothepeopleassembledtheremayhavebeensomethingwhichwasnotquiterealityinthescene。Therewasatendencytobeverystill。Theynodded，wavedtheirhandstohim，smiled，andlookedtheirfill；butaspelllayuponthem，andtheydidnotcheer。Itwouldhavebeenapityiftheyhaddoneso。Anoise，andtheillusionwouldhavebeenshattered。
Hiscarriageledawayonthethree—miledrivetothehouseonthehilltop，andthefloralturnoutfellinbehind。Nofirstimpressionofafairlandcouldhavecomeatasweetertime。Hillsidesweregreen，fieldswerewhitewithdaisies，dog—woodandlaurelshoneamongthetrees。Andoverallwasthebluesky，andeverywherethefragranceofJune。
Hewasveryquietaswedrovealong。Oncewithgentlehumor，lookingoverawhitedaisyfield，hesaid：
\"Thatisbuckwheat。IalwaysrecognizebuckwheatwhenIseeit。IwishIknewasmuchaboutotherthingsasIknowaboutbuckwheat。Itseemstobeveryplentifulhere；itevengrowsbytheroadside。\"Andalittlelater：\"ThisisthekindofaroadIlike；agoodcountryroadthroughthewoods。\"
Thewaterwasflowingoverthemill—damwheretheroadcrossestheSaugatuck，andheexpressedapprovalofthatclear，picturesquelittleriver，oneofthosecharmingConnecticutstreams。Alittlefartheronabrookcascadeddownthehillside，andhecompareditwithsomeofthetinystreamsofSwitzerland，IbelievetheGiessbach。Thelanethatledtothenewhomeopenedjustabove，andasheenteredtheleafywayhesaid，\"ThisisjustthekindofalaneIlike，\"thuscompletinghisacceptanceofeverythingbutthehouseandthelocation。
Thelastoftheprocessionhaddroppedawayattheentranceofthelane，andhewasalonewiththosewhohadmostanxietyforhisverdict。Theyhadnotlongtowait。Asthecarriageascendedhighertotheopenviewhelookedaway，acrosstheSaugatuckValleytothenestlingvillageandchurch—spireandfarm—houses，andtothedistanthills，anddeclaredthelandtobeagoodlandandbeautiful——aspottosatisfyone’ssoul。Thencamethehouse——simpleandsevereinitsarchitecture——anItalianvilla，suchashehadknowninFlorence，adaptednowtoAmericanclimateandneeds。Thescarsofbuildinghadnotallhealedyet，butclosetothehousewavedgreengrassandbloomingflowersthatmighthavebeentherealways。Neitherdidthehouseitselflooknew。Thesoft，graystuccohadtakenonatonethatmeltedintotheskyandfoliageofitsbackground。Attheentrancehisdomesticstaffwaitedtogreethim，andthenhesteppedacrossthethresholdintothewidehallandstoodinhisownhomeforthefirsttimeinseventeenyears。Itwasananxiousmoment，andnoonespokeimmediately。Butpresentlyhiseyehadtakeninthesatisfyingharmonyoftheplaceandfollowedonthroughthewidedoorsthatledtothedining—room——onthroughtheopenFrenchwindowstoanenchantingvistaoftree—topsanddistantfarmsideandbluehills。Hesaid，verygently：
\"Howbeautifulitallis？Ididnotthinkitcouldbeasbeautifulasthis。\"
Hewastakenthroughtherooms；thegreatliving—roomatoneendofthehall——aroomonthewallsofwhichtherewasnopicture，butonlycolor—
harmony——andattheotherendofthehall，thesplendid，glowingbilliard—room，wherehungallthepicturesinwhichhetookdelight。
Thentothefloorabove，withitsspaciousapartmentsandacontinuationofcolor——welcomeandconcord，thewindowsopentothepleasanteveninghills。Whenhehadseenitall——thenaturalItaliangardenbelowtheterraces；theloggia，whosearchesframedlandscapevistasandformedararepicture—gallery；whenhehadcompletedtheroundandstoodinthebilliard—room——hisespecialdomain——oncemorehesaid，asafinalverdict：
\"Itisaperfecthouse——perfect，sofarasIcansee，ineverydetail。
Itmighthavebeenherealways。\"
Hewasathometherefromthatmoment——absolutely，marvelouslyathome，forhefittedthesettingperfectly，andtherewasnotahitchorflawinhisadaptation。Toseehimoverthebilliard—table，fiveminuteslater，onecouldeasilyfancythatMarkTwain，aswellasthehouse，had\"been，therealways。\"Onlythepresenceofhisdaughterswasneedednowtocompletehissatisfactionineverything。
Thereweregueststhatfirstevening——asmallhomedinner—party——andsoperfectweretheappointmentsandservice，thatonenotknowingwouldscarcelyhaveimaginedittobethefirstdinnerservedinthatlovelyroom。Alittlelater；atthefootofthegardenofbayandcedar，neighbors，inspiredbyDanBeard，whohadrecentlylocatednearby，setoffsomefireworks。Clemenssteppedoutontheterraceandsawrocketsclimbingthroughthesummerskytoannouncehisarrival。
\"Iwonderwhytheyallgotosomuchtroubleforme，\"hesaid，softly。
\"Inevergotoanytroubleforanybody\"——astatementwhichallwhoheardit，andallhismultitudeofreadersineveryland，stoodreadytodeny。
Thatfirsteveningclosedwithbilliards——boisterous，triumphantbilliards——andwhenwithmidnightthedayendedandthecuesweresetintherack，therewasnonetosaythatMarkTwain’sfirstdayinhisnewhomehadnotbeenahappyone。
CCLXIX
FIRSTDAYSATSTORMFIELD
Iwentupnextafternoon，forIknewhowhedreadedloneliness。Weplayedbilliardsforatime，thensetoutforawalk，followingthelongdrivetotheleafylanethatledtomyownproperty。Presentlyhesaid：
\"InonewayIamsorryIdidnotseethisplacesooner。Ineverwanttoleaveitagain。IfIhadknownitwassobeautifulIshouldhavevacatedthehouseintownandmovedupherepermanently。\"
Isuggestedthathecouldstilldoso，ifhechose，andheenteredimmediatelyintotheidea。Byandbyweturneddownadesertedroad，grassyandbeautiful，thatranalonghisland。Atonesidewasaslopefacingthewest，anddottedwiththeslender，cypress—likecedarsofNewEngland。Hehadaskedifthatwerepartofhisland，andonbeingtolditwashesaid：
\"IwouldlikeHowellstohaveahousethere。WemusttrytogivethattoHowells。\"
Atthefootofthehillwecametoabrookandfolloweditintoameadow。
ItoldhimthatIhadoftencaughtfinetroutthere，andthatsoonI
wouldbringinsomeforbreakfast。Heanswered：
\"Yes，Ishouldlikethat。Idon’tcaretocatchthemanymoremyself。I
likethemveryhot。\"
Wepassedthroughsomewoodsandcameoutnearmyownancientlittlehouse。Henoticeditandsaid：
\"ThemanwhobuiltthathadsomememoryofGreeceinhismindwhenheputonthatlittleporchwiththosecolumns。\"
Myseconddaughter，Frances，wascomingfromadistantschoolontheeveningtrain，andthecarriagewasstartingjustthentobringher。I
suggestedthatperhapshewouldfinditpleasanttomakethedrive。
\"Yes，\"heagreed，\"Ishouldenjoythat。\"
SoItookthereins，andhepickeduplittleJoy，whocamerunningoutjustthen，andclimbedintothebackseat。Itwasanotherbeautifulevening，andhewasinatalkativehumor。Joypointedoutasmallturtleintheroad，andhesaid：
\"Thatisawildturtle。Doyouthinkyoucouldteachitarithmetic？\"
Joywasuncertain。
\"Well，\"hewenton，\"yououghttogetanarithmetic——alittleten—centarithmetic——andteachthatturtle。\"
Wepassedsomeswampywoods，ratherdimandjunglelike。
\"Those，\"hesaid，\"areelephantwoods。\"
ButJoyanswered：
\"Theyarefairywoods。Thefairiesarethere，butyoucan’tseethembecausetheywearmagiccloaks。\"
Hesaid：\"IwishIhadoneofthosemagiccloaks，sometimes。Ihadoneonce，butitiswornoutnow。\"
Joylookedathimreverently，asonewhohadoncebeentheownerofapieceoffairyland。
Itwasasweetdrivetoandfromthevillage。Therearenonetoomanysucheveningsinalifetime。ColonelHarvey’slittledaughter，Dorothy，cameupadayortwolater，andwithmydaughterLouisespentthefirstweekwithhiminthenewhome。Theywerecreated\"Angel—Fishes\"——thefirstinthenewaquarium；thatistosay，thebilliard—room，wherehefollowedouttheideabyhangingarowofcoloredprintsofBermudafishesinasortoffriezearoundthewalls。Eachvisitingmemberwasrequiredtoselectoneasherparticularpatronfishandhewrotehernameuponit。Itwashisdelighttogatherhisjuvenileguestsinthisroomandteachthemthescienceofbilliardangles；butitwassodifficulttoresisttakingthecueandmakingplayshimselfthathewasrequiredtostandonalittleplatformandgiveinstructionjustoutofreach。Hissnowyflannelsandgleamingwhitehair，againstthoserichredwalls，withthosesmall，summer—cladplayers，madeaprettypicture。
Theplacedidnotretainitsoriginalname。Hedeclaredthatitwouldalwaysbe\"InnocenceatHome\"totheangel—fishvisitors，butthatthetitledidn’tremaincontinuouslyappropriate。ThemoneywhichhehadderivedfromCaptainStormfield’sVisittoHeavenhadbeenusedtobuildtheloggiawing，andheconsideredthenameof\"Stormfield\"asasubstitute。When，presently，thesummerstormsgatheredonthatrock—
bound，openhill，withitswidereachesofvineandshrub—wild，fiercestormsthatbentthebirchandcedar，andstrainedatthebayandhuckleberry，withlightningandturbulentwindandthunder，followedbythechargingrain——thenameseemedtobecomepeculiarlyappropriate。
Standingwithhisheadbaredtothetumult，hiswhitehairtossingintheblast，andlookingoutuponthewidesplendorofthespectacle，herechristenedtheplace，and\"Stormfield\"itbecameandremained。
ThelastdayofMarkTwain’sfirstweekinRedding，June25th，wassaddenedbythenewsofthedeathofGroverClevelandathishomeinPrinceton，NewJersey。ClemenshadalwaysbeenanardentClevelandadmirer，andtoMrs。Clevelandnowhesentthiswordofcondolence——
YourhusbandwasamanIknewandlovedandhonoredfortwenty—fiveyears。Imournwithyou。
Andonceduringtheeveninghesaid：
\"HewasoneofourtwoorthreerealPresidents。Thereisnonetotakehisplace。\"
CCLXX
THEALDRICHMEMORIAL
AttheendofJunecamethededicationatPortsmouth，NewHampshire，oftheThomasBaileyAldrichMemorialMuseum，whichthepoet’swifehadestablishedthereintheoldAldrichhomestead。Itwashotweather。
WewereobligedtotakearatherpoortrainfromSouthNorwalk，andClemenswassilentandgloomymostofthewaytoBoston。Oncethere，however，lodgedinacoolandcomfortablehotel，mattersimproved。
HehadbroughtalongforreadingtheoldcopyofSirThomasMalory’sArthurTales，andafterdinnerhetookoffhisclothesandclimbedintobedandsatupandreadaloudfromthosestatelylegends，withcommentsthatIwishIcouldremembernow，onlystoppingatlastwhenoverpoweredwithsleep。
WewentonaspecialtraintoPortsmouthnextmorningthroughthesummerheat，andassembled，withthosewhoweretospeak，inthebackportionoftheopera—house，behindthescenes：Clemenswasgenialandgood—naturedwithallthediscomfortofit；andhelikedtofancy，withHowells，whohadcomeoverfromKitteryPoint，howAldrichmustbeamusedatthewholecircumstanceifhecouldseethempunishingthemselvestodohonortohismemory。RichardWatsonGilderwasthere，andHamiltonMabie；alsoGovernorFloydofNewHampshire；ColonelHigginson，RobertBridges，andotherdistinguishedmen。Wegottothemoreopenatmosphereofthestagepresently，andtheexercisesbegan。Clemenswaslastontheprogram。
Theothershadallsaidhandsome，seriousthings，andClemenshimselfhadmentallypreparedsomethingofthesort；butwhenhisturncame，andherosetospeak，asuddenreactionmusthavesetin，forhedeliveredanaddressthatcertainlywouldhavedelightedAldrichliving，andmusthavedelightedhimdead，ifhecouldhearit。Itwasfullofthemostcharminghumor，delicate，refreshing，andspontaneous。Theaudience，thathadbeenmaintainingapropergravitythroughout，showeditsappreciationinripplesofmerrimentthatgrewpresentlyintogenuinewavesoflaughter。Hespokeouthisregretforhavingwornblackclothes。Itwasamistake，hesaid，toconsiderthisasolemntime——
Aldrichwouldnothavewishedittobesoconsidered。Hehadbeenamanwholovedhumorandbrightnessandwit，andhadhelpedtomakelifemerryanddelightful。Certainly，ifhecouldknow，hewouldnotwishthisdedicationofhisownhometobealugubrious，smilelessoccasion。