agoYes，IshoulddecidedlyliketobeGandy。
MACKESYHe’llgoHomeafterhe’smarried，andsendinhispapers-seeifhedoesn’t。
BLAYNEWhyshouldn’the？Hasn’themoney？Wouldanyoneofusbehereifweweren’tpaupers？
DONEPooroldpauper！Whathasbecomeofthesixhundredyourookedfromourtablelastmonth？
BLAYNEIttookuntoitselfwingsIthinkanenterprisingtradesmangotsomeofit，andashroffgobbledtherest-orelseI
spentit。
CURTISSGandyneverhaddealingswithashroffinhislife。
DONEVirtuousGandy！IfIhadthreethousandamonth，paidfromEngland，Idon’tthinkI’ddealwithashroffeither。
MACKESYYawning。Oh，it’sasweetlife！Iwonderwhethermatrimonywouldmakeitsweeter。
CURTISSAskCockley-withhiswifedyingbyinches！
BLAYNEGohomeandgetafoolofagirltocomeoutto-whatisitThackeraysays？-“thesplendidpalaceofanIndianpro-consul。”
DOONEWhichremindsmeMyquartersleaklikeasieveIhadfeverlastnightfromsleepinginaswampAndtheworstofitis，onecan’tdoanythingtoarooftilltheRainsareover。
CURTISSWhat’swrongwithyou？Youhaven’teightyrottingTommiestotakeintoarunningstream。
DONENo：butI’mmixedboilsandbadlanguageI’maregularJoballovermybodyIt’ssheerpovertyofblood，andIdon’tseeanychanceofgettingricher-eitherway。
BLAYNECan’tyoutakeleave？DONEThat’sthepullyouArmymenhaveoverusTendaysarenothinginyoursightI’msoimportantthatGovernmentcan’tfindasubstituteifIgoaway。
Ye-es，I’dliketobeGandy，whoeverhiswifemaybe。
CURTISSYou’vepassedtheturnoflifethatMackesywasspeakingof。
DONEIndeedIhave，butIneveryethadthebrutalitytoaskawomantosharemylifeouthere。
BLAvNEOnmysoulIbelieveyou’rerightI’mthinkingofMrs。
CockleyThewoman’sanabsolutewreck。
DONEExactlyBecauseshestaysdownhereTheonlywaytokeepherfitwouldbetosendhertotheHillsforeightmonths-andthesamewithanywomanIfancyIseemyselftakingawifeonthoseterms。
MACKESYWiththerupeeatoneandsixpenceThelittleDooneswouldbelittleDebraDoones，withafineMussooriechi-chianenttobringhomefortheholidays。
CURTISSAndapairofbe-ewtifulsambhur-hornsforDonetowear，freeofexpense，presentedby-DONEYes，it’sanenchantingprospectBytheway，therupeehasn’tdonefallingyetThetimewillcomewhenweshallthinkourselvesluckyifweonlylosehalfourpay。
CURTISSSurelyathird’slossenoughWhogainsbythearrangement？That’swhatIwanttoknow。
BLAYNETheSilverQuestion！I’mgoingtobedifyoubeginsquabblingThankGoodness，here’sAnthony-lookinglikeaghost。
EnterANTHONY，IndianMedicalStaff，verywhiteandtired。
ANTHONY’Evening，BlayneIt’sraininginsheetsWhiskeypeglao，khitmatgarTheroadsaresomethingghastly。
CURTISSHow’sMingle？
ANTHONYVerybad，andmorefrightenedIhandedhimovertoFew-tonMinglemightjustaswellhavecalledhiminthefirstplace，insteadofbotheringme。
BLAYNEHe’sanervouslittlechapWhathashegot，thistime？
ANTHONY’Can’tquitesayAverybadtummyandabluefunksofarHeaskedmeatonceifitwascholera，andItoldhimnottobeafoolThatsoothedhim。
CURTISPoordevil！Thefunkdoeshalfthebusinessinamanofthatbuild。
ANTHONYLightingacheroot。IfirmlybelievethefunkwillkillhimifhestaysdownYouknowtheamountoftroublehe’sbeengivingFewtonforthelastthreeweeksHe’sdoinghisverybesttofrightenhimselfintothegrave。
GENERALCHORUSPoorlittledevil！Whydoesn’thegetaway？
ANTHONY’Can’tHehashisleaveallright，buthe’ssodippedhecan’ttakeit，andIdon’tthinkhisnameonpaperwouldraisefourannasThat’sinconfidence，though。
MACKESYAlltheStationknowsit。
ANTHONY“IsupposeIshallhavetodiehere。”hesaid，squirmingallacrossthebedHe’squitemadeuphismindtoKingdomComeAndIknowhehasnothingmorethanawet-weathertummyifhecouldonlykeepahandonhimself。
BLAYNEThat’sbadThat’sverybadPoorlittleMiggyGoodlittlechap，tooIsay-
ANTHONYWhatdoyousay？
BLAYNEWell，lookhere-anyhowIfit’slikethat-asyousay-I
sayfifty。
CURTISSIsayfifty。
MACKESYIgotwentybetter。
DONEBloatedCroesusoftheBar！IsayfiftyJervoise，whatdoyousay？Hi！Wakeup！
JERVOISEEh？What’sthat？What’sthat？
CURTISSWewantahundredrupeesfromyouYou’reabachelordrawingagiganticincome，andthere’samaninahole。
JERVOISEWhatman？Anyonedead？
BLAYNENo，huthe’lldieifyoudon’tgivethehundredHere！
Here’sapeg-voucherYoucanseewhatwe’vesignedfor，andAnthony’smanwillcomeroundto-morrowtocollectitSotherewillbenotrouble。
JERVOISESigning。Onehundred，EMJThereyouarefeeblyItisn’toneofyourjokes，isit？
BLAYNENo，itreallyiswantedAnthony，youwerethebiggestpoker-winnerlastweek，andyou’vedefraudedthetax-collectortoolongSign！
ANTHONYLet’sseeThreefiftiesandaseventy-twotwenty-threetwenty~sayfourhundredandtwentyThat’llgivehimamonthclearattheHillsManythanks，youmenI’llsendroundthechaprassito-morrow。
CURTISSYoumustengineerhi~takingthestuff，andofcourseyoumustn’t-
ANTHONYOfcourseItwouldneverdoHe’dweepwithgratitudeoverhiseveningdrink。
BLAYNEThat’sjustwhathewoulddo，damnhimOh！Isay，Anthony，youpretendtoknoweverythingHaveyouheardaboutGandy？
ANTHONYNoDivorceCourtatlast？
BLAYNEWorseHe’sengaged！
ANTHONYHowmuch？Hecan’tbe！
BLAYNEHeisHe’sgoingtobemarriedinafewweeksMarkyntoldmeattheJudge’sthiseveningIt’spukka。
ANTHONYYoudon’tsayso？HolyMoses！There’llbeashineinthetentsofKedar。
CURTISS’Regimentcutuprough，thinkyou？
ANTHONY’Don’tknowanythingabouttheRegiment。
MACKESYItisbigamy，then？
ANTHONYMaybeDoyoumeantosaythatyoumenhaveforgotten，oristheremorecharityintheworldthanIthought？
DONEYoudon’tlookprettywhenyouaretryingtokeepasecret。
YoubloatExplain。
ANTHONYMrsHerriott！
BLAYNEAfteralongpause，totheroomgenerally。It’smynotionthatweareasetoffools。
MACKESYNonsenseThatbusinesswasknockedontheheadlastseasonWhy，youngMallard-
ANTHONYMallardwasacandlestick，paradedassuchThinkawhileRecollectlastseasonandthetalkthenMallardornoMallard，didGandyevertalktoanyotherwoman？
CURTISSThere’ssomethinginthatItwasslightlynoticeablenowyoucometomentionitButshe’satNainiTatandhe’satSimla。
ANTHONYHehadtogotoSimlatolookafteraglobe-trotterrelativeofhis-apersonwithatitleUncleoraunt。
BLAYNEAndtherehegotengagedNolawpreventsamangrowingtiredofawoman。
ANTHONYExceptthathemustn’tdoittillthewomanistiredofhimAndtheHerriottwomanwasnotthat。
CURTISSShemaybenowTwomonthsofNainiTalworkswonders。
DONECuriousthinghowsomewomencarryaFatewiththem。
TherewasaMrsDeegieintheCentralProvinceswhosemeninvariablyfellawayandgotmarriedItbecamearegularproverbwithuswhenIwasdownthereIrememberthreemendesperatelydevotedtoher，andtheyall，oneafteranother，tookwives。
CURTISSThat’soddNowIshouldhavethoughtthatMrs。
Deegie’sinfluencewouldhaveledthemtotakeothermen’swives。
ItoughttohavemadethemafraidofthejudgmentofProvidence。
ANTHONYMrsHerriottwillmakeGandyafraidofsomethingmorethanthejudgmentofProvidence，Ifancy。
BLAYNESupposingthingsareasyousay，he’llbeafooltofaceherHe’llsittightatSimla。
ANTHONY’Shouldn’tbeabitsurprisedifhewentofftoNainitoexplainHe’sanunaccountablesortofman，andshe’slikelytobeamorethanunaccountablewoman。
DONEWhatmakesyoutakehercharacterawaysoconfidently？
ANTHONYPrimumternpusCaddywasherfirstandawomandoesn’tallowherfirstmantodropawaywithoutexpostulation。
ShejustifiesthefirsttransferofaffectiontoherselfbyswearingthatitisforeverandeverConsequently-
BLAYNEConsequently，wearesittingheretillpastoneo’clock，talkingscandallikeasetofStationcatsAnthony，it’sallyourfaultWewereperfectlyrespectabletillyoucameinGotobed。
I’moff，Good-nightall。
CURTISSPastone！It’spasttwobyJove，andhere’sthekhitcomingforthelatechargeJustHeavens！One，two，three，four，fiverupeestopayforthepleasureofsayingthatapoorlittlebeastofawomanisnobetterthansheshouldbeI’mashamedofmyself。
Gotobed，youslanderousvillains，andifI’msenttoBeorato-morrow，bepreparedtohearI’mdeadbeforepayingmycardaccount！
THETENTSOFKEDAR
OnlywhyshoulditbewithpainatallWhymustI’twixtheleavesofcorona！
Putanykissofpardononthybrow？
Whyshouldtheotherwomenknowsomuch，Andtalktogether-SuchthelookandsuchThesmileheusedtolovewith，thenasnow-
AnyWifetoanyHusband。
SCENE-ANainiTaldinnerforthirty-fourPlate，wines，crockery，andkhitmatgarscarefullycalculatedtoscaleofRs6000permensem，lessExchangeTablesplitlengthwaysbybankofflowers。
MRSHERRIOTTAfterconversationhasrisentoproperpitch。
Ah！’Didn’tseeyouinthecrushinthedrawing-roomSottovoce。
Wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile，Pip？
CAPTAINGADSBYTurningfromregularlyordaineddinnerpartnerandsettlinghockglasses。GoodeveningSottovoce。
NotquitesoloudanothertimeYou’venonotionhowyourvoicecarriesAside。SomuchforshirkingthewrittenexplanationIt’llhavetobeaverbalonenowSweetprospect！HowonearthamI
totellherthatIamarespectable，engagedmemberofsocietyandit’salloverbetweenus？
MRSHI’veaheavyscoreagainstyouWherewereyouattheMondayPop？WherewereyouonTuesday？WherewereyouattheLamonts’tennis？Iwaslookingeverywhere。
CAPTGForme！Oh，Iwasalivesomewhere，Isuppose。
Aside。
It’sforMinnie’ssake，butit’sgoingtobedashedunpleasant。
MRSHHaveIdoneanythingtooffendyou？InevermeantitifI
haveIcouldn’thelpgoingforaridewiththeVaynormanItwaspromi5edaweekbeforeyoucameup。
CAPTGIdidn’tknow-
MRSHItreallywas。
CAPTGAnythingaboutit，Imean。
MRSHWhathasupsetyoutoday？Allthesedays？Youhaven’tbeennearmeforfourwholedays-nearlyonehundredhoursWasitkindofyou，Pip？AndI’vebeenlookingforwardsomuchtoyourcoming。
CAPTGHaveyou？
MRSHYouknowIhave！I’vebeenasfoolishasaschoolgirlaboutitImadealittlecalendarandputitinmycard-case，andeverytimethetwelveo’clockgunwentoffIscratchedoutasquareandsaid：“ThatbringsmenearertoPipMyPip！”