Keith-WessingtonIpulledup，looked，rubbedmyeyes，and，I
believemusthavesaidsomethingThenextthingIknewwasthatIwaslyingfacedownwardontheroadwithKittykneelingabovemeintears。
“Hasitgone，childI“IgaspedKittyonlyweptmorebitterly。
“Haswhatgone，Jackdear？whatdoesitallmean？Theremustbeamistakesomewhere，JackAhideousmistake。”Herlastwordsbroughtmetomyfeet-mad-ravingforthetimebeing。
“Yes，thereisamistakesomewhere。”Irepeated，“ahideousmistakeComeandlookatIt。”
IhaveanindistinctideathatIdraggedKittybythewristalongtheroaduptowhereItstood，andimploredherforpity’ssaketospeaktoIt；totellItthatwewerebetrothed；thatneitherDeathnorHellcouldbreakthetiebetweenus；andKittyonlyknowshowmuchmoretothesameeffectNowandagainIappealedpassionatelytotheTerrorinthe’rickshawtobearwitnesstoallIhadsaid，andtoreleasemefromatorturethatwaskillingmeAsItalkedIsupposeImusthavetoldKittyofmyoldrelationswithMrsWessington，forIsawherlistenintentlywithwhitefaceandblazingeyes。
“Thankyou，MrPansay。”shesaid，“that’squiteenoughSyceghoralao。”
Thesyces，impassiveasOrientalsalwaysare，hadcomeupwiththerecapturedhorses；andasKittysprangintohersaddleIcaughtholdofthebridle，entreatinghertohearmeoutandforgiveMyanswerwasthecutofherriding-whipacrossmyfacefrommouthtoeye，andawordortwooffarewellthatevennowIcannotwritedownSoIjudged，andjudgedrightly，thatKittyknewall；andI
staggeredbacktothesideofthe’rickshawMyfacewascutandbleeding，andtheblowoftheriding-whiphadraisedalividbluewhealonitIhadnoself-respectJustthen，Heatherlegh，whomusthavebeenfollowingKittyandmeatadistance，canteredup。
“Doctor。”Isaid，pointingtomyface，“here’sMissMannering’ssignaturetomyorderofdismissalandI’llthankyouforthatlakhassoonasconvenient。”
Heatherlegh’sface，eveninmyabjectmisery，movedmetolaughter。
“I’llstakemyprofessionalreputation“-
hebegan“Don’tbeafool。”Iwhispered“I’velostmylife’shappinessandyou’dbettertakemehome。”
AsIspokethe’rickshawwasgoneThenIlostallknowledgeofwhatwaspassingThecrestofJakkoseemedtoheaveandrolllikethecrestofacloudandfallinuponme。
Sevendayslateronthe7thofMay，thatistosayIwasawarethatIwaslyinginHeatherlegh’sroomasweakasalittlechild。
Heatherleghwaswatchingmeintentlyfrombehindthepapersonhiswriting-tableHisfirstwordswerenotencouraging；butIwastoofarspenttobemuchmovedbythem。
“Here’sMissKittyhassentbackyourlettersYoucorrespondedagooddeal，youyoungpeopleHere’sapacketthatlookslikearing，andacheerfulsortofanotefromManneringPapa，whichI’vetakenthelibertyofreadingandburningTheoldgentleman’snotpleasedwithyou。”
“AndKitty？”Iasked，dully。
“RathermoredrawnthanherfatherfromwhatshesaysBythesametokenyoumusthavebeenlettingoutanynumberofqueerreminiscencesjustbeforeImetyou’SaysthatamanwhowouldhavebehavedtoawomanasyoudidtoMrsWessingtonoughttokillhimselfoutofsheerpityforhiskindShe’sahot-headedlittlevirago，yourmash’WillhaveittoothatyouweresufferingfromDTwhenthatrowontheJakkoroadturnedup’Saysshe’lldiebeforesheeverspeakstoyouagain。”
Igroanedandturnedovertotheotherside。
“Nowyou’vegotyourchoice，myfriendThisengagementhastobebrokenoff；andtheManneringsdon’twanttobetoohardonyouWasitbrokenthroughDTorepilepticfits？SorryIcan’tofferyouabetterexchangeunlessyou’dpreferhereditaryinsanity。
SaythewordandI’lltell’emit~sfitsAllSimlaknowsaboutthatsceneontheLadies’MileCome！I’llgiveyoufiveminutestothinkoverit。”
DuringthosefiveminutesIbelievethatIexploredthoroughlythelowestcirclesoftheInfernowhichitispermittedmantotreadonearthAndatthesametimeImyselfwaswatchingmyselffalteringthroughthedarklabyrinthsofdoubt，misery，andutterdespairI
wondered，asHeatherleghinhischairmighthavewondered，whichdreadfulalternativeIshouldadoptPresentlyIheardmyselfansweringinavoicethatIhardlyrecognized，-“They’reconfoundedlyparticularaboutmoralityinthesepartsGive’emfits，Heatherlegh，andmyloveNowletmesleepabitlonger。”
Thenmytwoselvesjoined，anditwasonlyIhalfcrazed，devil-drivenIthattossedinmybed，tracingstepbystepthehistoryofthepastmonth。
“ButIaminSimla。”Ikeptrepeatingtomyself“I，JackPansay，aminSimlaandtherearenoghostshereIt’sunreasonableofthatwomantopretendthereareWhycouldn’tAgneshaveleftmealone？IneverdidheranyharmItmightjustaswellhavebeenmeasAgnesOnlyI’dneverhavecomehackonpurposetokillherWhycan’tIbeleftalone-leftaloneandhappy？”
ItwashighnoonwhenIfirstawoke：
andthesunwaslowintheskybeforeIslept-sleptasthetorturedcriminalsleepsonhisrack，tooworntofeelfurtherpain。
NextdayIcouldnotleavemybedHeatherleghtoldmeinthemorningthathehadreceivedananswerfromMrMannering，andthat，thankstohisHeatherlegh’sfriendlyoffices，thestoryofmyafflictionhadtraveledthroughthelengthandbreadthofSimla，whereIwasonallsidesmuchpitied。
“Andthat’srathermorethanyoudeserve，’heconcluded，pleasantly，“thoughtheLordknowsyou’vebeengoingthroughaprettyseveremillNevermind；we’llcureyouyet，youperversephenomenon。”
Ideclinedfirmlytobecured“You’vebeenmuchtoogoodtomealready，oldman。”saidI；“butIdon’tthinkIneedtroubleyoufurther。”
InmyheartIknewthatnothingHeatherleghcoulddowouldlightentheburdenthathadbeenlaiduponme。
Withthatknowledgecamealsoasenseofhopeless，impotentrebellionagainsttheunreasonablenessofitallTherewerescoresofmennobetterthanIwhosepunishmentshadatleastbeenreservedforanotherworld；andIfeltthatitwasbitterly，cruellyunfairthatIaloneshouldhavebeensingledoutforsohideousafateThismoodwouldintimegiveplacetoanotherwhereitseemedthatthe’rickshawandIweretheonlyrealitiesinaworldofshadows；thatKittywasaghost；thatMannering，Heatherlegh，andalltheothermenandwomenIknewwereallghosts；andthegreat，greyhillsthemselvesbutvainshadowsdevisedtotorturemeFrommoodtomoodItossedbackwardandforwardforsevenwearydays；mybodygrowingdailystrongerandstrong-er，untilthebedroomlooking-glasstoldmethatIhadreturnedtoeverydaylife，andwasasothermenoncemoreCuriouslyenoughmyfaceshowednosignsofthestruggleIhadgonethroughItwaspaleindeed，butasexpression-lessandcommonplaceaseverIhadexpectedsomepermanentalteration-visibleevidenceofthediseasethatwaseatingmeawayIfoundnothing。
Onthe15thofMay，IleftHeatherlegh’shouseateleveno’clockinthemorning；andtheinstinctofthebachelordrovemetotheClub。
ThereIfoundthateverymanknewmystoryastoldbyHeatherlegh，andwas，inclumsyfashion，abnormallykindandattentiveNeverthelessIrecognizedthatfortherestofmynaturallifeIshouldbeamongbutnotofmyfellows；andIenviedverybitterlyindeedthelaughingcooliesontheMallbelowIlunchedattheClub，andatfouro’clockwanderedaimlesslydowntheMallinthevaguehopeofmeetingKittyClosetotheBand-standtheblackandwhiteliveriesjoinedme；andIheardMrsWessington’soldappealatmysideIhadbeenexpectingthiseversinceIcameout；andwasonlysurprisedatherdelayThephantom’rickshawandIwentsidebysidealongtheChotaSimlaroadinsilence。
Closetothebazar，KittyandamanonhorsebackovertookandpassedusForanysignshegaveImighthavebeenadogintheroadShedidnotevenpaymethecomplimentofquickeningherpace；thoughtherainyafternoonhadservedforanexcuse。
SoKittyandhercompanion，andIandmyghostlyLight-o’-Love，creptroundJakkoincouplesTheroadwasstreamingwithwater；
thepinesdrippedlikeroof-pipesontherocksbelow，andtheairwasfulloffine，drivingrainTwoorthreetimesIfoundmyselfsayingtomyselfalmostaloud：“I’mJackPan-sayonleaveatSimla~atSimla！Everyday，ordinarySimlaImustn’tforgetthat-I
mustn’tforgetthat。”ThenIwouldtrytorecollectsomeofthegossipIhadheardattheClub：thepricesofSo-and-So’shorses-anything，infact，thatrelatedtotheworkadayAnglo-IndianworldIknewsowellIevenrepeatedthemultiplication-tablerapidlytomyself，tomakequitesurethatIwasnottakingleaveofmysensesItgavememuchcomfort；andmusthavepreventedmyhearingMrsWessingtonforatime。
OncemoreIwearilyclimbedtheConventslopeandenteredthel~
velroadHereKittyandthemanstartedoffatacanter，andIwasleftalonewithMrsWessington“Agnes。”saidI，“willyouputbackyourhoodandtellmewhatitallmeans？”Thehooddroppednoiselessly，andIwasfacetofacewithmydeadandburiedmistressShewaswearingthedressinwhichIhadlastseenheralive；carriedthesametinyhandkerchiefinherrighthand；andthesamecardcaseinherleftAwomaneightmonthsdeadwithacardcase！Ihadtopinmyselfdowntothemultiplication-table，andtosetbothhandsonthestoneparapetoftheroad，toassuremyselfthatthatatleastwasreal。
“Agnes。”Irepeated，“forpity’ssaketellmewhatitallmeans。”
MrsWessingtonleanedforward，withthatodd，quickturnoftheheadIusedtoknowsowell，andspoke。
IfmystoryhadnotalreadysomadlyoverleapedthehoundsofallhumanbeliefIshouldapologizetoyounowAsIknowthatnoone-no，notevenKitty，forwhomitiswrittenassomesortofjustificationofmyconduct-willbelieveme，IwillgoonMrs。
WessingtonspokeandIwalkedwithherfromtheSanjowlieroadtotheturningbelowtheCommander-in-Chief’shouseasImightwalkbythesideofanylivingwoman’s’rickshaw，deepinconversationThesecondandmosttormentingofmymoodsofsicknesshadsuddenlylaidholduponme，andlikethePrinceinTennyson’spoem，“Iseemedtomoveamidaworldofghosts。”
Therehadbeenagarden-partyattheCommander-in-Chief’s，andwetwojoinedthecrowdofhomeward-houndfolkAsIsawthemthenitseemedthattheyweretheshadows-impalpable，fantasticshadows-thatdividedforMrsWessington’s’rickshawtopassthroughWhatwesaidduringthecourseofthatweirdinterviewI
cannot-indeed，Idarenot-tellHeatherlegh’scommentwouldhavebeenashortlaughandaremarkthatIhadbeen“mashingabrain-eye-and-stomachchimera。”ItwasaghastlyandyetinsomeindefinablewayamarvelouslydearexperienceCoulditbepossible，Iwondered，thatIwasinthislifetowooasecondtimethewomanIhadkilledbymyownneglectandcruelty？
ImetKittyonthehomewardroad-ashadowamongshadows。
IfIweretodescribealltheincidentsofthenextfortnightintheirorder，mystorywouldnevercometoanend；andyourpatiencewouldheexhaustedMorningaftermorningandeveningaftereveningtheghostly’rickshawandIusedtowanderthroughSimlatogetherWhereverIwenttherethefourblackandwhiteliveriesfollowedmeandboremecompanytoandfrommyhotelAttheTheatreIfoundthemamidthecrowdoryellingjhampanies；
outsidetheClubveranda，afteralongeveningofwhist；attheBirthdayBall，waitingpatientlyformyreappearance；andinbroaddaylightwhenIwentcallingSavethatitcastnoshadow，the’rickshawwasineveryrespectasrealtolookuponasoneofwoodandironMorethanonce，indeed，Ihavehadtocheckmyselffrontwarningsomehard-ridingfriendagainstcanteringoveritMorethanonceIhavewalkeddowntheMalldeepinconversationwithMrsWessingtontotheunspeakableamazementofthepassers-by。
BeforeIhadbeenoutandaboutaweekIlearnedthatthe“fit“
theoryhadbeendiscardedinfavorofinsanityHowever，ImadenochangeinmymodeoflifeIcalled，rode，anddinedoutasfreelyaseverIhadapassionforthesocietyofmykindwhichI
hadneverfeltbefore；Ihungeredtobeamongtherealitiesoflife；
andatthesametimeIfeltvaguelyunhappywhenIhadbeenseparatedtoolongfrommyghostlycompanionItwouldbealmostimpossibletodescribemyvaryingmoodsfromthe15thofMayuptoto-day。
Thepresenceofthe’rickshawfilledmebyturnswithhorror，blindfear，adimsortofpleasure，andutterdespairIdarednotleaveSimla；andIknewthatmystaytherewaskillingmeIknew，moreover，thatitwasmydestinytodieslowlyandalittleeverydayMyonlyanxietywastogetthepenanceoverasquietlyasmightbeAlternatelyIhungeredforasightofKittyandwatchedheroutrageousflirtationswithmysuccessor-tospeakmoreaccurately，mysuccessors-withamusedinterestShewasasmuchoutofmylifeasIwasoutofhersBydayIwanderedwithMrs。
WessingtonalmostcontentBynightIimploredHeaventoletmereturntotheworldasIusedtoknowitAboveallthesevaryingmoodslaythesensationofdull，numbingwonderthattheSeenandtheUnseenshouldminglesostrangelyonthisearthtohoundonepoorsoultoitsgrave。